#anyways it's been a hot minute since I wrote a Gay Little Road Trip Fic scene for one of these prompts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inawickedlittletown · 5 years ago

Text

Next To Me (1/6)

Summary: Buck and Eddie started off in different places but eventually they ended up in the same. Eventually, they ended up in love.

Buck had never had a friend like Eddie before. Someone that burrowed under his skin and wrapped around him and became a part of him — like an extra limb, someone he couldn’t do without.

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Words: 4,199

Notes: This is far from my first fic, but it is my first fic in the 9-1-1/buddie fandom. I binged the first two seasons a few weeks ago and got caught up on the current season, read a few fics, and here we are.

I wanted to write something that explores Buck and his past but also a realistic take on Buck/Eddie within the canon. As I wrote, I figured out that for it to work I would need to look at Eddie's past as well and so this fic was formed.

Title comes from the Imagine Dragons song: Next To Me.

Masterpost

Read on Ao3

------------------------

Chapter One

------------------------

The thing was that he always liked guys. Buck was an equal opportunity lover because people were people and a lot of people were hot. Girls were easier sometimes. A bit of smiling, some flirting, and most of them were welcoming him with open arms and Buck was not afraid of using anything at his disposal to close the deal. Even, on two occasions the ladder truck. Thinking back on that made him cringe. With guys there was always the awkward moment where Buck had to figure out if the guy that caught his eye was actually gay or bi. His gaydar was faulty at best. Worse, or equally as bad, when other guys looked at him they saw a straight guy. It was very rare for anyone to actually peg his sexuality before they got to know him.

For a long time, Buck was all about the one-night stands. The quickies anywhere. Even sometimes in the view of other people. That was just easier. After all, it was his experience that the people he cared about always hurt him after some fashion of time. It happened with his parents, with his sister, with the boy he loved back when he was in high school, and perhaps even everyone that he considered giving a shot to. Keeping people at a distance was easier.

Then, he became a fireman.

His mother always wanted him to be a doctor or, if not that, a nurse like his sister. She had hopes that if it wasn’t a medical field that he do something that meant something. In other terms, she wanted him to have money and success. His father had probably cared at some point, but as early as the age of ten, Buck had known that his father didn’t like him. His parents should never have been parents. They were the kind of people that had kids because that was the next step after getting married and buying the house in the suburbs complete with the white picket fence.

If they had cared even a little, they might have bothered to be bothered when Buck announced that he was leaving Pennsylvania. His sister had been long gone since then to put up a fight. Buck had packed up his clothes and a few other odds and ends into his car — the one single thing he was taking that his parents had given him — and then he was on the road. It was only once he’d made into another state that he called Maddie to let her know his plans.

“Hey, Mads,” he said. “So, I left home. Not sure where I’m going but I had to go.”

“Evan, oh my god. What—”

She only ever called him Evan when she was shocked or when she wanted to put a point across. After all, it was Maddie that first started calling him Buck since using Buckley felt weird considering it was her own last name and she didn’t like the name Evan. She had used it so widely that aside from their parents everyone knew him as Buck.

“It was time. They were driving me crazy, Maddie. I just figured I’d let you know.”

There hadn’t been a plan when he left. Buck hadn’t even known he wanted to be a fireman, much less what he might do with himself. He picked up odd jobs on the road but never stayed long anywhere. He was nineteen and for the first time he felt free. Maddie called him every day, urging him to at least go to college. It didn’t matter where. She would even pay for it. He turned her down every time. The only thing he’d been remotely interested in was joining the Navy. The Navy Seals to be more accurate. It seemed sort of unattainable to him at first so he put it off to keep living the life of the free spirit.

Back in Hershey, Buck had had a few friends. One of them was the boy he’d sort of but not really dated — the one that in the end turned out to be an asshole anyway. Most of the other friends had gone off to college but they kept in touch and if Buck happened to be near their schools if they’d gone out of state he went and visited. That was how he wound up catching up with Matt and meeting Matt’s new friends and joining them on a Spring Break trip to Mexico.

When they all left to go back to school, Buck decided to stay behind. He managed to score a job at one of the bars and Mexico was just nice. The weather was gorgeous, the people were friendly — the locals more so than the tourists. There was also plenty of money to be made. Buck had taken Spanish in high school and it was enough to get by until he really started to pick up the language. The swear words came easy.

It helped that Mexican girls and boys were not shy when it came to flirting with him and willing to teach him Spanish. He learned more than just Spanish during his stay.

A full year went by before he noticed it. Buck stayed for another six months before a call from Maddie meant he actually had to go back home. She was getting married.

It was somehow easier to face his parents and Maddie when he returned for her wedding. He didn’t like Doug much but Maddie was happy. It was possible their parents didn’t like Doug either but he was a doctor and they seemed like they were in love. Maddie was happy.

Afterwards, Buck went back to Mexico and because he could, he travelled through Central America down into South America. He stuck mostly to the coast working at bars and restaurants as well as other places and for seven months or so he just wandered. By then he was fluent in Spanish. He got back to Mexico eventually and then Maddie finally convinced him to go to school. She wanted him to at least have his Associate’s Degree. She worried about him. Then again, that was probably exactly what big sisters were supposed to do.

“You can’t keep being some sort of vagabond with no home, Evan,” she said over a phone call.“There has to be something you want to do. Maybe school will help you figure it out and if not then you have a plan B to fall back on.”

Maddie had always been smart and Buck figured he’d listen to her. She was there with Doug and his parents when he graduated from Community College and Buck ignored her when she tried to push him to continue his education and instead, he spent some days with the family before leaving again and this time he was headed for California.

Mexico had taught him that he liked nice weather and the West Coast seemed like the best option. He was far enough away from his parents and he and Maddie kept in touch. Emails and phone calls and texts. Eventually, though, they both just stopped trying. She was busy with her job and her new married life and Buck was content with his life. Buck wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt when she started to ignore him.

California was different from Mexico and most other places. Buck rented a room and then found a job at a popular bar. His time in Mexico had given him skills with preparing drinks so he was hired after Buck showed off some of his skills. California was also where he felt the most alone.

He had friends. Sort of. The kind of people you met up with at a bar from time to time. Not the kind you texted if you needed help or in an emergency. Drinking buddies, acquaintances met through his roommates. No one dependable and no one that would miss him if he disappeared. Not that Buck was even looking for real friends. The ones he’d had before from school all had their own lives and things going on and Buck didn’t think he even really missed them.

Working at the bar also meant meeting a lot of different people. Buck hadn’t known it at first but a few celebrities stopped in from time to time. Mostly, though, the bar drew in other types. The creatives — producers and other executives looking to find their next big star. Some of them approached Buck. After a while he could tell why someone was looking at him from afar. Some of them were general looks of someone wanting him in their bed. Other times, it was the speculative look of someone that thought he looked like he would fit their next film. Buck turned them down every time. He didn’t turn down the girls or the guys hitting on him.

It did bring along more trouble than it was worth. Buck was working in LA. He was a bartender without the stars in his eyes waiting for his big break, But everyone else around him — that was why they were there and the jealous looks thrown his way grew tiresome.

Buck started looking for other jobs. None of them lasted more than a few months.

He took a receptionist job at a gym for a little while. Then, he was a valet. Then, he tried and failed as a personal assistant. For a while he went back to bartending before he found himself working at a child care place. That was probably one of his favorite jobs. Buck loved kids. He loved the way they saw the world and how much the little things mattered and made them happy. Maddie told him he should be a teacher on the rare phone call they shared.

Buck was considering the idea until he remembered that old dream of his. Joining the Navy Seals. It felt like the right time to revisit that idea.

He lasted about five minutes. The training was horrible, worse than anything he’d ever gone through and yet somehow, Buck managed to do it. They didn’t even bother with you unless you were already at peak physical shape and even then the training was hard. He did everything right. His superiors thought he was good and Buck just kept pushing himself.

He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing. By then contacting Maddie had gotten harder and harder. She didn’t call him back or respond to emails. Occasionally she texted but it gave him nothing. Buck stopped reaching out. He was all alone, so he buried himself in what he was doing.

Bootcamp had seemed like the hardest part at first, but then came the real eye opener once he was in Pre-BUDS and it was made clear that he had to put his emotions in a box and lock them up tight. There was no room for that as a Navy Seal. Buck couldn’t do it. Even if he had wanted to, he was basically told he didn’t have it in him to be one.

He left, just a bit dejected, certainly a little broken, and in the best shape of his life. The training had done something to change him — just a bit. But it didn’t mean that Buck knew what came next for him. Mostly, it meant that he appreciated things a little differently. Things like his emotions and his ability to care. It didn’t exactly stop him from picking up a gorgeous dark haired man a few days after the fact and falling apart under his touch in an unfamiliar bed. It also didn’t stop him from leaving the next morning knowing perfectly well that it was a one time thing.

Afterwards he wandered around the country for a while like he’d done when he first left home. Maddie still didn’t answer calls or emails or texts but Buck wasn’t in any state of mind to let himself really worry. On Instagram she posted pictures of herself and Doug. Always smiling. She looked happy. When he left a comment, she never responded.

Eventually, Buck made it back to California and the job at the childcare place welcomed him back. That was when it happened. One of the kids swallowed something and choked. Buck was the one to call 9-1-1 while one of his coworkers tried and failed to make the object fall out. The firefighters and paramedics arrived in minutes and Buck watched as they worked, getting the marble dislodged and checking the little boy over until they were satisfied he’d be okay.

The next time he was in an emergency was almost a year later. It was at the beach. It was late afternoon and the lifeguards were gone. Most people at the beach were staying on the sand, enjoying the late afternoon sun. A few kids kicked around water at the very shore. Then, they all heard shouting. A couple of teenagers were out in the water and one of them was caught in a riptide. Buck had been a lifeguard back when he was in high school, just a quick way to earn some money over the Summers and get to stare at pretty people. He wasn’t CPR certified anymore, but he knew what to do and there was no one else running to help them. So he ran, going in the water and swimming out to help, adrenaline rushing through him right up until the very end when he had the boy back on land and he was starting compressions. Others were trying to help and someone had called 9-1-1 but by the time they arrived the boy was already throwing up water and coughing as air finally made it into his lungs again.

“You might have saved that boy, kid,” one of the paramedics said and touched his shoulder. “Good job.”

“I — thanks,” Buck said.

“You know, there’s always a need for first responders. We could use someone like you.”

And it was like a bell going off in his head. He’d never considered it before but it made sense. He wasted no time going for it.

It was the best decision he ever made and maybe it was his experience with the Navy Seals or his sheer determination that made the entire process surprisingly easy.

The written exam wasn’t hard at all and the CPAT was even easier. Buck was still in good shape from his Navy Seal training even a year later and everything they threw at him was not all that difficult. He could see some of the others straining but most of them had clearly prepared and were pushing themselves to do it. It was satisfying to be able to do it all. Even the psychological test turned out to be easy.

He ended up at the fire academy really learning his stuff. A few months later he was a probationary firefighter and he was hired and assigned to an LA Firehouse. Fire Department Station 118.

When he first joined the 118, it was just like any other job. Not in the sense that it was somewhere to work and somewhere to be but in that all the other firefighters saw him like everyone else always did. Some guy a little too cocky and a little too interested in literally anyone that crossed his path. That, after all, was something that didn’t change. Buck was still having sex. Lots of it and with anyone that seemed interested.

Dating apps — or rather hookup apps — were sometimes the easiest way, but Buck still went out to bars to pick up a girl or a boy. He didn’t disclose his sexuality to anyone at work. He’d never had to before at the other places and it didn’t feel like something that he could just bring up not even when he found out that Hen was a lesbian with a wife and child. It was just that bisexuality came with a stigma and Buck was already not prone to labels. He also...well, he didn’t know how to talk about it and since it didn’t change who he was or how he did his job, Buck just kept it to himself.

For the first time in any job, though, he found people that he actually liked. Captain Nash in particular was someone he warmed up to quick. Enough so that he invited him to a Springsteen Concert a month into being a part of the 118. Buck felt comfortable with them and everyone welcomed him in maybe more so on a personal level than as a fellow firefighter. They all teased him about how much of a flirt he was.

Buck hooked up with people all over town and somehow it was just a string of girls one after the other and none of them left an impression and Buck didn’t really care for or about them. It was like scratching an itch.

It was once it started affecting his job that Buck started to think that it might be a problem. And he just had no idea why he was even so reckless and stupid especially when it was a job that he loved and possibly the happiest he’d been in ages. He shouldn’t have done anything to threaten that and yet something made him rebel. It made him thoughtless and when the girl he was talking to was offering to put out if he got to her within a certain amount of time — a near impossible task — it was a challenge he willingly took. He just drove off with the ladder truck and didn’t even consider how it might be a problem until he was back and he could see it on everyone’s faces that he’d screwed up.

He did it again not a few days later, telling himself he was going to get away with it and that either way he’d still have one more warning to go before it became a real problem. By then, of course, Buck had it almost figured out. He had a problem. He self diagnosed as a sex addict.

The thing was that he just wanted it all the time. With anyone. Mostly girls. Girls were somehow easier. Sometimes they were the very same girls that he met out on calls. Sometimes it was the girls that were impressed by his uniform. Chim was not wrong in saying that it made a difference and not just with women but with men too. He’d seen quite a few checking him out while on calls.

Buck hadn’t actually expected for Cap to fire him. His whole world seemed to fall apart after that.

Buck knew he was welcome on the team, but he also knew that they were all wary of him. He didn’t blame them. After all, they were all supposed to have each other’s backs and for that they needed to have trust and that didn’t come overnight. He needed to prove that they could trust him and Buck could admit even to himself that sometimes he rushed into things without thinking. It was lucky he had people around him that were experienced and knew better than him and that stopped him from making mistakes even if they also judged him for it.

One thing that he noted almost immediately after getting assigned to the 118 was that everyone did seem to care about each other on a deeper level than co-workers. They were friends. They were family. Buck had never expected to be a part of that and yet there was a part in it all where he fit. The youngest firefighter of the house and possibly the most reckless...they all liked him even if they were still getting used to him out on calls.

Buck loved his job. He loved the adrenaline and everything that came with saving a life. The first few calls had been nerve wracking and Buck hadn’t been fully prepared for what they were and yet he’d managed to jump in and help alongside everyone else. So being fired...having Captain Bobby Nash look at him that way...it felt like his life was being torn apart. Worse, after it happened he realized that it wasn’t just the job he loved, but everyone he had gotten to know there. Bobby, Hen, and Chimney especially stood out and he didn’t want to not see them every day.

Getting a second chance when he thought he wouldn’t was eye opening. It made him change. He wanted to show them that he did deserve to be there and after a little while, he realized that they did know that. Bobby seemed to trust him more and the rest followed suit. Buck didn’t want to let any of them down.

Unlike with anyone else he’d met since leaving Pennsylvania, Buck finally found people he could be himself with — be accepted by. Buck found himself sharing parts of himself with them — things that he’d always just kept to himself before. He told Bobby about the sex addiction thing and followed that up with talking to him about anything and everything because Bobby was just easy to tell things to and he didn’t judge Buck, either. He mostly seemed amused. He also tried to offer advice where he could.

Before Buck knew it, he was part of the gang. One of them. They were more than co-workers. They became a pseudo family that he didn’t know he needed or wanted. Bobby was probably the one that Buck felt closest to — he saw the older man almost like a father...or at least what he had wished his father had been.

Buck also found himself with a relationship. Abby was wonderful. Buck usually went for people his age or thereabouts so it was a little strange that Abby was seventeen years his senior. She just had such an amazing vibe about her and youthfulness that Buck loved. She was the first person in a long time to keep his interest even when they weren’t having sex. Abby changed him. Or maybe everyone did.

Having people that cared about him and that became his family...it made a difference. He didn’t need to fill a hole with meaningless sex. He had other outlets and other ways to express himself. Bobby had started teaching him to cook and Hen let him babysit from time to time — only when no one else was available. Chimney was hurt and recovered and came back and Buck appreciated life more after knowing he could have lost a dear friend.

When Abby left, it was Chim and Hen that took him out for drinks and made it just a little better. Bobby and he had a talk about it the next day and it occurred to Buck that they were all trying to make sure he was okay and that they all thought he and Abby had broken up.

In truth, looking back on it later, Buck supposed that a break up would have made more sense than how the next few months went with him living in her apartment convinced that one day she was going to just surprise him and be there waiting for him when he came home. It never happened. He’d sunk deep into denial about what Abby leaving really meant.

He was kind of crushed by it in the months that followed her leaving. Work kept going and having something to do and to keep occupied with helped even if arriving back at Abby’s empty apartment always made his shoulders slump.

Buck could tell that Chim and Hen were a bit surprised by how little interest he showed anyone else. It was as if they had been expecting Buck to just move on from Abby like he had with all those others and start picking girls up on calls again. Occasionally some of them did catch his eye — cute girls and boys alike. But Buck wasn’t that guy anymore. He’d been ready to settle down with Abby and he didn’t want to regress and use people like he had before.

“You’re going to have to move on sometime, kid,” Chimney said one night while out at the bar.

“But, I don’t. Abby is coming back.”

Or maybe she wasn’t. Buck didn’t want to think about that. It was just that when they did get to talk that she never gave him any time frame. She sounded happy, though, and it was almost a relief to know that even if he wasn’t a part of making her happy even if it did leave him a bit bitter. Somehow, in spite of the whole Abby thing, Buck felt settled in his life and he had a new goal to achieve, getting chosen to be on the annual fireman calendar.

Buck had started working out more specifically for it, focusing on a goal weight and goal percentage of fat on his body. Only one firefighter was chosen per station and Buck was going to be it.

Then, Eddie Diaz showed up. And Buck hated him.

------------------

Next Chapter

Notes: The next chapter should be up in a few days once I tweak it a bit and will focus on Eddie's side of things. As of right now I am planning on this being 4 chapters long but that could still change. Let me know what you think of this first chapter.

If anyone wants me to tag you in future chapters let me know. Thanks for reading.

#911 fox #buddie #buddie fic #buckxeddie #next to me #fic

34 notes · View notes