#anyways it’s summer 2024 I have never been so stressed and so full of love

[karthiaful]

[dollysdeardiary]

April 21st, 2024

Hello, once again.

Yesterday I returned from my little escapade in Westerville, a small yet lively town where my university was located. Needless to say, I enjoyed the campus, the people, and the professors, so I have committed, officially. I will be attending Otterbein University in the Class of 2028, pursuing a Bachelor's in Fine Arts in Musical Theatre. How exciting! I am already thinking on how to decorate my dormitory, my new classmates, all of it! I can't wait to take you, my dear reader, along with me for the ride. It's sure to be an adventure for the ages. I never thought I'd be attending a school up North, yet here I am. I had my eyes set on Oklahoma City University, a college close to home. But it wasn't meant to be, which is alright. In the world of show business, you must always be ready to accept a "no" and not take it personally.

I've been taking the time this beautiful Sunday to unpack and continue my studies for school. I've missed lots of school these days due to college visits. My grades have suffered some, but nothing I cannot recover from. I've been diligent in my work when I'm not away traveling, but it is still rather exhausting trying to keep up. I attend a prestigious private school with a (rather) rigorous curriculum, so missing one day can be a little more than stressful. I've only taken a small break this afternoon to write to you all. Truly, I care for you, my dear reader, to write to you in these tumultuous times of being a student (woe is me!).

While I was in Westerville, I had the pleasure of observing a few classes I would be taking as a future Otterbein Cardinal. One was a choir rehearsal for the choir named the "Otterbein Singers". It's a choir that is full of Musical Theatre majors only, and it is mandatory to attend. It was an entertaining rehearsal to observe as I listened to them sing their songs. One was in Latin, a classic piece, and how lovely it was! If only I knew the name to tell you, dear reader. They rehearse in the university's church named "The Church of The Master". I was told the church is affiliated with the university, but not exactly a part of campus officially. Although, if the student use it as a rehearsal space, I would consider it an "unofficial" part of campus.

I also had the pleasure of observing a showcase of this year's freshman class at Otterbein. They all showed very polished and skilled performances, and I loved it. They performed some pieces from Come From Away, Wicked, Oklahoma!, and many more. They were also many attractive individuals there, who could sing like birds on a line! Here's to hoping a girl like me could find a wonderful beau, I can only hope so.

There are a few issues with attending this school, however. The freshman dorms have no air conditioning, which is sure to be a nightmare in the summer heat, but I can always install a unit or a fan, and a heater for the winter months. Oh, and the food in the dining halls are not of the best quality, so it would be best for me to get groceries on the weekends to create simple meals to take to class. I understand as a theatre student I would be so swamped I wouldn't have the time to make a full-course meal, but that doesn't stop me from making something simple. Dear reader, I am a true "foodie" as some like to put it, and I will not starve, nor will I eat subpar food. I will eat good food, always. My mother always said I am immature in some aspects for college, but that she knows I will never go hungry or eat "junk" as she puts it.

Anyway, the clock is telling me it is now 1 PM, and it is time for a nice, late lunch, and to get ready to see my friend's play. My dear friend Scarlett is playing Meg in Little Women, as well as my other friend Clementine who plays Beth. I must head off to eat and get ready.

Thank you for reading, my dear friend.

Sincerely,

Dolly Astor

[temporaryfixtuesday]

Exchange, ch.1

C H A P T E R 1

Friday, May 1st 2024

8 days before the wedding

“You have a meeting at 10:30, then another one at 2,  then you’re done for the day.” CJ says over the bluetooth in Pixie’s car. “Perfect CJ I’ll see you in half an hour.” Pixie pulls up to the curb around the corner from her destination. “Are we still on for tonight? I already invited everyone.”

“Wouldn’t miss it babe” Pixie replies with a smile even though her assistant can’t see her.

“Wonderful, bye Pix.” She disconnects the call and blows out a sigh dropping her head back and letting her eyes fall close. Summer is starting and it’s the busiest time of the year for everything. Work picks up exponentially and so does the stress. After a minute Pixie gathers her purse and phone before heading into her favorite coffee shop on the way to work.

She hates coffee but can never say no to a cup of tea or muffin before work. It’s already about 78 degrees this morning in LA and the sweat has come out to play. Pixie heaves open the door to the shop and air conditioning seeps through her clothes. While waiting for her drink she’s checking her social medias. She’s young, just shy of her 27th birthday yet all she ever sees is her old friends and acquaintances getting engaged and announcing pregnancies. Pixie’s not old. Her clock certainly hasn’t started ticking yet or at least she doesn’t think it has?

She’s never been in love. Okay maybe that one time, but that was nearly five years ago and it was a college relationship. This are usually doomed from he start anyway and it had ended in literal shambles. Even if she ever saw him again it would most likely be a disaster. Before she can think too hard about it she pushes it back down to the far reaches of her mind. Her time is not up. There’s plenty of time to fall in love and have children, why waste the only years she has left to binge drink with minimal consequences.

“Pixie!” the barista yells from the counter. She snaps out of her head and beelines for her tea because she needs a distraction and to get to work before CJ starts blowing up her phone. As she's turning away from the counter she runs chest first into a person. A tall, broad person. She tries to poke her bottom half out to miss her tea thats spilling all over her hand and now onto her shoes. At least they’re black she thinks.

“I’m sorry ‘bout that.” a voice says from above her. Her ears are muffled by annoyance and stress so she gives a standard response, “It’s fine really.” She’s short with this clumsy and apparently blind stranger but she has places to be. She switches her drink to her dry hand and shakes the other one off before turning around to grab napkins. Before she can fully turn around, uncoordinated Helen Keller grabs the crook of her elbow.

“Pixie Taylor” her blood runs cold. She’s never taken the saying speak of the devil very seriously until now. She doesn’t know how she didn’t catch it before. She’d know that voice anywhere. Before even turning around to look at him she looks to the sky for guidance.

“Harry” she breathes. Pixie turns around and it’s like the devil materialized himself. Five years. That’s how long it’s been since she’s last seen him and she thinks about him once in her favorite tiny coffee shop in North Hollywood and all of a sudden he’s there? How? It makes no sense. Her body is shutting down.

“I thought that was you” he lets go of her and smiles a dazzling smile at her and she could swear her heart stopped for a second, “Although I’ve never met anyone else named Pixie so the barista kind of blew your cover there” he laughs and tucks his hands into his pockets.

“Harry” Pixie says again. She sounds like a broken record but she doesn't know how to act. Her body feels like its seeping with sweat and the tea she’s spilt in her shoe and on her hand is starting to dry. They just look at each other for what must be the longest 5 seconds of both of their lives.

“Let me help you” Harry shakes the fog out of his brain and moves past Pixie to get napkins. It’s when he starts to dry off her wrist that her soul snaps back into her body. She yanks her hand away like Harry’s touch had burnt her in the 3rd degree.

His eyes widen and his movements freeze. Hurts zips through his entire being for a split second before he gulps and stifles it. She swears she can see the hurt flash across his face but in the next breath she decides she doesn’t care.

“Thank you but I’m fine” she gives him a tight smile before taking the napkin from his hand and furiously wiping herself down, “I should get going I’m late” she rushes out before turning on her heel and dashing for the door. When she gets outside she inhales sharply and starts for her car down the block. The brash sound of her heels clacking against the pavement helps to regulate her heart beat again before she hyperventilates.

What are the actual odds of him being here. Harry Styles. He’s supposed to be across the country, or at least that’s where Pixie thought she left him. Maybe he’s just on a vacation. By himself. Alone. On vacation. That makes no fucking sense.

When Pixie reaches her car she’s fumbling with her keys and purse for a minute before she hears heavy running steps approaching her. She lets her arms fall limp by her sides and relaxes her head all the way to the sky.

Please someone, literally anyone give me strength right now.

Harry rounds her and huffs out a breath. Pixie looks down her nose at him without moving from her exasperated position. She gives him a pointed look with a raise of her eyebrow as if to say can I help you?

“P, wait can we ju-“

“Don’t call me that”

Sweat instantly breaks out on his palms that are shoved deep in his trousers and he balls them up to give himself some relief. Harry’s head hangs and he sucks his teeth before looking back up at her face, “Sorry, I’m sorry I was just wondering if we could maybe talk?”

She sighs and looks straight into his eyes for the first time since they collided 10 minutes ago. She’s reminded of five years ago and how they were unstoppable and young and happy, but now standing on this sidewalk in LA he looks hurt and so sad and so pretty and she’s fucked.

“Fine” she has to refrain from rolling her eyes. “I’m going out with some friends tonight” she sighs before continuing, “It’s casual so if you want to show up you can”

“Yeah I would love to” Harry says quickly. He feels like if possible his stomach is going to fall out his ass but in a good way. “Thank you Pixie” his voice and face are so earnest that she feels like she may melt.

But she doesn’t.

“I’ll text you, assuming your number is the same?” She raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah, yes it is” he nods once.

Pixie nods back and turns to walk around her car to the driver’s seat. As she pulls away form the curb and into traffic she can see Harry in her review still standing the corner watching he drive away until he’s a speck in her vision.

“Where have you been?!” CJ whisper yells as soon as she sets eyes on Pixie waltzing through the doors to the office. “Your 10:30 is waiting so shake off that weird moony look in your eye and get to conference room B, you have—“ CJ glances at the thin silver watch on her wrist, “54 seconds, go.” She takes Pixie’s purse and tea from her while shoving a manila folder at her and giving her a little nudge down the hallway.

CJ can be like this sometimes. Very take charge and no nonsense. That’s why her and Pixie get along so well, they're the same in that way. They met in their senior year of college just when both of their lives were taking an unexpected turn. The demise of her relationship with Harry was on the horizon and CJ’s dad was dying. They needed each other more than they knew. So when Pixie found CJ crying about her dad in the bathroom of a frat party just after winter break that year, she knew she had no choice but to befriend her.

CJ’s going to freak out when she finds out what Pixie had been doing that morning that caused her to be late. She just needs a minute before the inevitable happens. Before CJ comes barreling in to her office at full speed. Just as she plops down in her desk chair she sees a flash of strawberry blonde outside her door.

Too late.

“What is up with you? I mean it’s been a rough week for everyone with the influx of clients and everything but you sounded fine on the phone this morning but you show up at the same time you had an appointment which is practically late for you and then you don’t say a word? And please don’t lie to me something happened in the 35 minutes I hadn’t heard from you.” CJ hasn't taken a breath this whole time and she's practically a sentence away from a coronary. She’s got that crazy frantic look in her eye that Pixie hates.

“Catie Jane I swear to fucking god” Pixie huffs and stands from her chair, “close the door.”

CJ retreats a few steps and clicks the door closed before turning with her eyebrows raised and arms crossed, “Spill.”

She looks to the floor and leans back on the front side of her desk. There’s not really a way she can put this that will prevent CJ from snapping. Although her anger at Harry may be misplaced she wanted someone to blame for his and Pixie’s falling out and she wasn’t going to blame her bestie.

“I saw him” Pixie looks up to her friend cautiously.

“Who’s ‘him’? Jesus? That weird cashier at the grocery store who stares at your tits? Ryan Gosling?”

“No you bitch like him him” CJ looks are her with hollow eyes. She’s trying to piece together the puzzle in her head and Pixie can almost visibly see the wheels turning. She doesn’t know why she can’t say his name now when it’s all she could manage when he was in front of her.

“Wait” CJ’s eyes go wide, “You mean him as in Harry?”

Pixie just purses her lips and nods an affirmation.

“Like Harry Styles Harry?”

“Ceege do you know any other Harry’s?” they rolls their eyes at the same time.

“Well what did he say?!”

“He was nice I guess” Pixie shrugs and crosses her arms, “he wanted to get together tonight so I may have invited him to 1Oak” she mumbles.

“YOU WHAT” CJ all but screams, “Why would you do that?”

“We just left off on such a bad note I guess I can’t deal with someone hating me like he did all those years ago”

Her assistant sighs and walks across the room to stand in front of her. “I know that what he did back then was really fucked up and I don’t forgive him for putting you through that but you’re right” she places her hands on Pixie’s shoulders, “Maybe it was all just a big misunderstanding.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes to prevent a tear from escaping. “I think I got his message loud and clear” she sniffs, “You should've seen him though, he was so melancholy but happy to see me if that makes any sense”

“Maybe he feels guilty” CJ suggests.

Pixie lets out a small laugh more of disbelief than humor, “Maybe.”