#anyways im watching modern family and

[jewishdragon]

Am I the weird kid for growing up liking clowns?? i mean?? did yall not like The Big Comfy Couch?

Several bday parties had clowns hired. I realized then at a later party that hired a magician it was the same act (the same jokes and magic tricks) just the clown wore a clown outfit and made balloon animals and the magician wore a suit.

Maybe that was a my hometown thing? to have a clown come entertain the kids for 2 hours before cake and everyone going home?

Also my parents gave me a book on the history of clowns/kinds of clowns. i still have this book somewhere

[demeterdefence]

my energy has been low lately so i've stuck to just liveblogging chapter releases, but i was thinking earlier about why lore olympus really nettles me and it's truly indicative of a wider issue.

it's disappointing that a major ancient religion that is still practiced by some people today has been reduced to a caricature of itself, and i say this knowing that there are thousands of reinterpretations of the greek myths, there will always be a new opinion or retelling of them. retelling the myth of hades and persephone isn't necessarily the issue, so much as the constant and dripping disdain to the cultural roots. we don't need to be greek to appreciate the story, but why remove everything greek from it? why westernize every aspect and remove ties to the cultural roots? why whitewash everything from a myth thousands of years old?

part of the reason these myths continue to resonate with us is because the themes are still relevant today. the loss of a child, the struggle against impossible forces, the (often patriarchal) powers against you, a mothers love. these stories hold power, they gave hope and inspiration, they created meaning and connection, and they were vital to the people who lived in that time, in that place. they will resonate with us for many years still, but stripping the roots and core of it out only makes it a hollow, shallow imitation. it's reality tv with neon colours, no love or heritage present; it's cold and shiny and plastic, and it insults what it claims to portray.

[franollie]

bring back technicolor and practical effects now im so serious

[xervn]

till the sun is up

oneshot | cowboy sevika

ao3 link

summary: porch sex. that's about it.

18+ MDNI | 2k words | tags; modern au, cowboy sevika (doesn't play a big part though), established relationship, sevika has both arms (sorry, ik, i love it too), kissing, vaginal fingering, orgasm denial, no use of y/n, porn w/ plot if you squint

took me weeks to write this because i'm lazy and a student, but i'm still in love with sevika. sorry if there's grammatical errors, i mostly wrote this with one hand (im joking)

It’s six-oh-something AM and you woke up to an empty bed; nothing but wrinkled sheets where your wife is supposed to be. You figure she’s keeping herself busy and will be back soon, so in the meantime, you tie your robe around your waist for a little warmth and head downstairs.

You get started on breakfast, turning on the griddle, and taking note of the things you guys need to stock up on. However, by the time you’re done, Sevika has still not shown up. You’re not used to waking up without seeing her, although the only reason you’re up right now is because you didn’t feel her next to you. 

“She must be in the barn.” You assume, making your way to the front door and to the porch. As expected, the horses are out, which could only mean Sevika was too. You make your own binoculars with your hands, trying to see if you can spot your wife in the distance, until you hear a soft grunt right beside you. 

A peaceful sight, Sevika napping on a wooden armchair like an uncle at a family gathering— you giggle at that— with her cowboy hat being used as a sleeping mask. You hate to have to wake her up, but you made her breakfast! And she should’ve been sleeping next to you anyways. 

“Vika..” You lean down to peek at her face, but, of course, her hat is blocking her eyes. “Vika, baby?” You squat down to plant a kiss on her cheek where you can manage, and she hums awake. “There you are.”

Sevika grunts and you giggle. She sits up and pulls her hat back on her head, squinting at the early morning sun that’s still rising, but somehow found a perfect angle to blind her. She turns to look at you instead. “Hey, sweetheart.” She greets with a rasp.

You spot her discomfort and use your body to block the incoming light for her. “Hi, I missed you.”

She smiles sleepily and reaches for your waist. She guides you down to sit on her lap and you happily let her. “‘M sorry. Woke up too early, thought I’d let the horses out and watch the sunrise...” She says before looking away to yawn. 

You gasp lightly, “Without me?” You clutch at your chest and Sevika chuckles at your theatrics. 

She gently tries to move your hand into hers, but you resist. She shakes her head, laughing, “No, no, no. Baby, please, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“But you made it sound so romantic.. I wouldn’t mind.” You pout. Sevika gives you a doubtful look and you pretend not to see it. 

“You’re not nice when I wake you up.” She reminds you.

“I would’ve been nice this time.” You lie.

“I didn’t want to test that.”

You playfully roll your eyes, “Oh, whatever.” You shift to get up, but Sevika quickly anchors you down.

“Where are you going?” She questions with her hands on you firmly; one around your waist and on your stomach, and the other indented in your thigh like you might float away. 

“Ease up, cowgirl. I made breakfast. I made you breakfast.” You reply, placing your hand on her cheek.

“Oh? What’d you make?” She asks as she leans her face into your touch, innocently. Her hands don’t budge.

“Bacon, eggs,” you list and Sevika nods in approval, “Pancakes, and coffee...” You drawl, and her eyes shut as she groans. “Uh-huh, are you gonna join me?” You ask, resting your hands on her chest and waiting for her answer.

She looks you in the eyes, until her gaze starts to go south, lingering at the low neckline of your nightgown. Your cleavage makes a sudden appearance she didn’t notice at first. Sevika was half-awake, but she’s definitely not anymore; whistling at the sight of you. Her grasp on your thigh leaves and goes to pull your satin robe down your shoulder. Surprised, you scold, “Sevika!”

“What?” She goes for the other shoulder and you make no attempts to stop her. “I can’t admire my wife?” She says, resting her rough hand on your thigh again, but this time she’s slowly massaging it up and down.

“You can, but I made you breakfast and it’ll get cold.”

“Baby, that’s what microwaves are for.” She coos, venturing her hand between your legs, slowly making her way up. 

They almost flinch shut and Sevika awes. Your face turns warm and you look away, towards your surroundings, and although she's right about the food, you guys are still outside. You mutter out, “But..”

“But what?” She asks. You continue to aimlessly look in the distance, even though you know damn well there’s nothing but farmland and horses. Sevika chuckles, “The horses don’t care and we don’t get visitors. Even if we did, you know I’d kill ‘em before they could see you like this, right?” You fix your lips to respond, but you pause when the hand on your stomach moves down to the lace hemline of your gown. Her fingers curl underneath, waiting to search. “I miss you.” She whispers.

Her words tug at your heart and her puppy eyes burn into you. You didn’t need much convincing anyways, but you fold and you mumble out, “I know what you’re doing...” Your marriage has taught two things, if Sevika “misses you” she either really does, or she really wants to fuck you. 

You reach for her hat and perch it on your head; an unspoken rule about cowboys Sevika once said. She grins up at you as you slide your hand over her shoulder, closing some distance between you two.

“I do miss you, I miss you all the time.” She assures, leaning in to freely press kisses on your shoulder. Her fingers finally lift your dress and her kisses begin to trail towards your neck. You can deduce which “missing” she meant, and you feel the same way. 

Exhaling, you tip your head to the side to give her more room. Sevika’s lips marking the new territory makes you tremble like it was the first time. It’s no surprise that after years of being together, she still makes your heart race. 

You move with her as she leans back, tugging you towards her. You involuntarily let out a squeak that she snickers at, and she gives you a kiss on the cheek and several more, distracting you from her spreading your legs indecently; hooking your outer leg over her strong forearm.

She wastes no time to ride up the front of your nightgown, showcasing your plain, flimsy, black, cat-themed underwear. Sevika doesn’t bat an eye, of course, she’s used to it. 

Right now, she’s only focused on one thing. Her hand purposefully ghosts over, so she can ogle at you writhing with anticipation. Your knitting brows, heavy breathing— it excites her. She’s getting worked up from watching you. “Look how bad you want it.” She teases affectionately.

Sevika presses her middle finger on your damp, clothed clit, observing and feeling every reaction that pulses from you. You let out a soft curse and she rewards it by moving her finger in tight circles. Sevika listens to how your breath staggers and clenches from the ache between her own legs. She tugs your underwear to the side to properly admire how wet you are. The cool, morning air makes you shiver. 

Pinning the fabric with her ring finger, she sensually swipes her middle up your folds. “All for me?”

Her voice has you melting, throbbing, and you're unable to contain the whine that escapes you. Sevika’s gaze locks on your lips the second she hears it, as if she’s hunting for the next one. You make sure she’ll be able to catch it, meeting her halfway for a kiss. 

She grins as your mouths collide, eyes fluttering shut and lips passionately fitting together like a two-piece puzzle. She brings another finger to aid her in rubbing soft circles on your clit; just enough to build pressure, but not enough to relieve it. The tip of her tongue runs over your parted bottom lip, waiting for an invitation in, and you allow it with a breathy moan. She languidly teases her tongue across yours, then pulls away just to watch you follow after her— which you do— and you can see how much she got off on it. 

Panting impatiently, “Sev…“ But you trail off as she gravitates towards you with another magnetizing, searing kiss. Your hands find the side of her neck, brushing up her nape. 

She sweetly pecks your lips, breaking away for a second, “You’re,” she kisses you again, “Just,” and again, “So,” and again, “Pretty. I had to look.” She murmurs.

Your face becomes home for a cheesy smile Sevika reciprocates dotingly. You lean in to kiss her, and as your lips brush against each other’s, her fingers suddenly resume their movement, this time firmly and relieving. You whimper over her lips, and she chuckles darkly against yours. She kisses you deeply as she steadily coaxes your clit on a perfect pressure point. 

Your legs begin to bow together from the overwhelming sensation, slowly coming to its climax, and Sevika takes it as a sign to slip her fingers into you. The stretch hurts good as she curls her fingers into ‘come-hither’ motions right where you need them. The previous build up resumes instantly and you’re back where you left off, right on the brink. 

“Vika, I’m gonna…“ You softly cry out, unable to finish your words because she only increases her speed at the mention of her name. Now her thick fingers are squelching in and out of you and the sounds are fogging your brain. If it wasn’t for the chirping birds and the huffing horses in the distance, you would’ve forgotten where you were.

“Not yet, just a little longer.” She says— demands even.

You sob out a moan, akin to a tantrum, “I can’t— fuck — I can’t.” 

Sevika plants a kiss on the corner of your lips; her fingers refusing to stop hitting your rough spot. “You can, baby. You don’t want me to stop, do you?” She whispers.

She puts up a good point you can’t argue. You don’t want her to stop, you’d hate for her to stop. “N- No, but maybe slow— hnng— d— shit— down?” You bargain half-heartedly in stutters and stammers.

“Where’s the fun in that? And if you come right now, so help me god.” She growls. Yet, the way she’s fucking you is telling you the opposite; there’s a thin line on torture and mind-breaking pleasure she’s crossing and you love it. You try not to love it too much before you explode on the spot. 

She can see how much you're trying, squirming, whining with every fast-paced stroke. One word from her and you’d come undone: that’s her favorite part. She extends her free arm, the one propping your leg up, and she puts four fingers on your clit, then rubs it harshly. That does it. You actually can’t hold it anymore unless you want half an orgasm. Your head jerks back and Sevika’s cowboy hat begins to slide off your head. There’s tears in your eyes, your legs are weak and shaking. You need it, you need it bad.

And she gives it to you. “Such a good girl. Go on, come for me.” 

Your release hits hard, like a cork popping off a champagne bottle. Your eyes pin shut as it reverberates down to your toes, and courses up your spine. You let out high-pitched, breathy moans, and Sevika harmonizes— not mockingly — soothingly, as she softly rubs out your orgasm. Your underwear falls back in place as she removes her fingers out of you and off of you. You wince and she murmurs an apology with a smug smile. 

“Holy shit,” You exhale as your legs fall over Sevika’s thighs. You can feel the air getting warmer, and as your eyes flutter open, the sky is colored a blue only a risen sun could paint. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She replies with a smile.

“Your turn now.”

She laughs heartily, briefly biting her lower lip, “But I thought the breakfast was gonna get cold?” 

You grin, “‘That’s what microwaves are for.’”

[lubrumalis]

ghost headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw, spoilers, dead dove do not eat

a lot of these are based off of my personal understanding of him

part 2 —> character analysis of ghost

general:

didn’t go back to manchester after his family died, too many foul memories—a lot of friends will probably know him as a murderer (comic reference, ghost was accused of killing his family in the newspaper)

has a fit body. a lot of people like to hc him as big and bulky, i think otherwise! its actually a huge disadvantage to be bulky in size as a soldier (logistics while fighting yk). most SAS soldiers are trained for endurance and fitness, i think he has a moreso lean body

hes not cold and ruthless, wouldn’t say hes a big softie either.

VERYYYY punctual. always on time

will not abuse or rape anyone. this guys been through atrocities, he would never do it to someone else

won’t hire a prostitute, ever.

honestly, hes just another dude in the military. he loves dad jokes and bourbon😭

ghost doesn’t think hes mean or tries to be, he simply is intimidating because of his size and way of talking

he likes watching soccer in his free time

gets internally offended if someone thinks hes from london (anywhere but Manchester)

very dark humoured. tell him any dark joke and he wouldn’t care

loves tea

listens to older british bands, like the smiths

cannot understand modern slang at all. what does ‘iykyk’ and ‘rizzler’ mean???

texts like a typical millennial. uses ‘😂’ and ‘😜’ unironically. types with proper grammar and spelling with punctuation too, maybe an occasional LOL

also unironically likes posts about trust issues and being a sigma male. he doesn’t actually think hes one, he just relates to those quotes that are like: “being alone is better than with fakes” 😭😭😭😭

ghost probably hates other men more than misandrists 😕 i think its bc hes always fighting other men and dealing with the cruel things theyve done, so ghost subconsciously feels more on guard with men he doesnt know

has insomnia

doesn’t cry. ghost doesn’t remember the last time he cried.

isn’t rich rich, but has a ton of savings. he doesn’t have a family or spend a lot. so the money piles up.

relationship hcs:

first off, i dont think he’d realistically get into one anyway LMAO

s/o would have to the chasing, i dont think ghost is the kind to actively pursue someone

he has charisma, doesn’t feel like using it

hes very against the idea at first—his family got murdered because he was in the military, you think hes gonna let it happen again?

probably will not like someone working with him as a soldier

i think itd go two ways: a) you are a civilian who aggressively pursues the poor guy and he gives in, b) you work as a military nurse and gradually get to know him, c) you are a longtime close friend of his before he was in the military

i cant see him being fwb with anyone, only one night stands

hes not a toxic partner or super lovey dovey

ghost doesn’t entertain multiple women at once

itd most likely end up in a breakup where he fears for your safety:(((

BUT lets ignore that

tbh, i think he would probably be with someone very empathetic and kind to others. he doesn’t like people overly energetic, too soft, or someone that annoys him

persons gotta be independent and good with long distance

simon doesn’t care about age gaps, but probably wants someone at least in their late twenties

had a hard time opening up, eventually told you everything once he trusts you

another reason why i think he wants someone empathetic is because he has severe trust issues😃😃

last thing he’d care about is looks for long term relationships

the type of guy to disappear for 6 months and reappear to be like “remember im your husband???”🫡

doesn’t let you tell your friends about him—No hes not being uncommitted or toxic, but hes simply being cautious after what happened to his family

you can’t show anyone photos of him, his name, his occupation, NOTHHINGGG

so you fake a name for your bf who your friends think you’re lying about

definitely does not let you post on social media about him either.

installs security in your home, teaches you self defense, and gives you weapons. this guy can be paranoid

will never hit you or lay a hand on you

ghost genuinely thinks you saved him—his life was bleak and empty before you came in. subconsciously thinks of you as a savior

he buys you gifts, does chores for you, he really likes you :(

ghost actively tries to make his voice sound softer and friendlier when hes talking to you

doesnt understand playing mind games, things like the silent treatment or “im ok” when ur not ok thing. just tell him how you feel

doesn’t tell his team about your existence. you and his job are always going to be separate.

avoids talking about what he does in the military. ghost has killed and injured many and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him.

scary dog privileges for SURE

[ethansluvbot]

riding ethan for the first time please!!! love your writing btw<3

CRUEL SUMMER | SUB!ETHAN LANDRY

warnings: adult content, spoilers?, rough sex, riding, unprotected sex, and smut :)

an: i just got really sick randomly? anyways, i'm so so sorry for not posting in awhile. i just started a new school and even though its the end of the year its stressful. it also didn't help that i had horrible writers block. also, I've never written smut before so i will get better at this eventually! i'm binge watching the harry potter movies while eating soup now lol.

with a ton of convincing from sam, ethan and tara you decided to volunteer for a summer camp. sure, spending you day with kids had its downs, but you enjoyed seeing ethan interact with kids.

the kids screams filled your ears as you run to pick up their messes. the sticky hair didn't help your anxiety at all. you sat next to sam with your head on her shoulder.

"how did you convince me to do this shit?"

a quick slap hit your shoulder as you let out a yelp, "no cursing, there's kids around. plus you could never say no to ethan, it looks like he's enjoying it."

"i know. he's been going on about this since january.," you know ethan was a total soft guy, he never would harm a soul. it took him awhile but he finally convinced you to help out.

you both heard footsteps approach you, a sigh came out as you saw his shoes. immediately you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.

"thank god you're here to save me from sam, she's trying to make me actually do something." he let out a chuckle as he waved to sam.

"im here to take you away," he smirked as you smiled back at sam. you heard her softly gagging beginning to walk away.

"hey! i missed you today, it seemed like you were having fun with your cabin."

"i was! i actually taught a kid how to swim today." you grabbed on to his hand. you loved this side of ethan the soft, dorky and funny side of him to be exact.

"umm, i was wondering where you see us in the future? i know we have a little until we finish college but it's been on my mind."

"well, to be exact i see us in well paying jobs, a modern family home and hopefully kids of our own." you felt his mood shift with that. you might've not been the most kid involved person, but it was great to know you would consider the idea.

you both stepped into the cabin immediately grabbing pajamas. you felt ethans shattered breath at your neck. turning around you slinked your arms around his torso.

"can i help you?"

"god- i want to kiss you so bad right now."

you gave in to ethans innocent act, attaching both of your lips. his cold hands found his way up your back as you moaned in surprise. he hummed in pleasure, kissing down your stomach.

you flip the two of you over, "i wanted to try something new if that's fine?"

he nodded intently, he trusted you with his life and knew you wouldn't do anything to hurt either of you. he's desperate to finally get you undressed as he tugs at your pants.

"someones needy," you tease unbuttoning your jean shorts. his hands explored your body, undoing your bra and throwing it to the side. ethan was already undressed by the time you turned around.

"lay down."

he threw his head back as you pushed yourself down onto his cock. you put your hand over his mouth being careful not to arouse any suspicion.

"will you be a good boy and be quiet?" he hummed in response, "words baby."

"yes, ill be good," he let a muffeled whined out.

you let your nails scratch down his abs as you begin to move. his fingers begin to trace circles on your clit as you bounce. you were still adjusting to his size but since ethan was so eager you began to move.

"don't stop," he lets an exaggerated sigh come out of his mouth. you grab his chin making him look at you. he keeps his hands on your hips as you trail kisses down his neck.

you rested your hands on his chest helping him move you. even without him speaking he could tell he enjoyed this greatly. you felt his hand kneed at your ass.

looking down you see his glossy eyes look up at you, "aw, poor baby. are you not getting enough attention."

you were almost using him for your own pleasure, which you felt bad but, oh did it feel so good. he was getting anxious as you felt him squirming.

you felt him thrust into you a few more times. you could feel his tenseness, only meaning that he was reaching his high. leaning down you planted a kiss onto his lips.

"oh fuck- i love you."

[yarrayora]

Idk how to explain properly, but I’m a really big fan of the dynamic you portray between Marcille and Falin. I’ve always loved . idk how to say.. divorce? trouble-in-paradise? arcs/portrayals that look at problems in otp, and yours is super interesting. Sorry if this is weird just wanted to say :)

not weird at all! im flattered, thanks!

i wasnt really into farcille at first, mostly i was just impressed an f/f ship managed to be the fandom's no1, basically proving that when two female characters in a mostly male dominated cast are allowed to bond with each others and be their own characters people will latch on to them

mostly though aro touden siblings is still my no1 and even back then i didnt care about shipping because any type of romantic relationship in dunmeshi is less interesting than the potential of political intrigue the worldbuilding set up (yes, even chilchuck's failing marriage is less interesting to me than how living in the dungeon was safer for the orcs than being neighbors to human civilization) (shocking, i know)

but it all changed when i saw the daydream hour about marcille thinking falin looks cute in feminine clothing while falin herself is obviously uncomfortable with it

i can't sleep. i have to think about this. i have to think about how it's their first love and their first relationship and one is going in blind while the other set up her expectations based on a harlequin romance novel. they are NOT in the same wavelength at all and neither of them are particularly good at communicating their intention, with falin who grew up a convenient kid because she thought it was the least she could do for her family and marcille who frankly speaking was used to being treated as someone superior back at the magic school

thank god kabru exists because who else is going to give them a real advice for their very real relationship? chilchuck will be like "okay just break up" while not seeing the mirror to his own relationship with his runaway wife. senshi, wise as he is, is never in a romantic relationship. laios would be like :((( you guys are fighting? and gets stressed out on his own which makes it even more stressful to the girls. namari is like. "i, uh, please talk to kabru."

anyway theres also the bonus comic about falin inviting marcille to watch daltian clan's opera adaptation and while there is something to say about marcille thinking the humans playing elves doesn't fit her aesthetic (and the difference of societal expectations of dressing up as a different race in dunmeshi universe compared to in ours) all i can think of is that in modern day au where daltian clan has a movie adaptation marcille has a tumblr blog where she posts Hate on the daltian clan movie tag and calling it criticism which it is but also not the place, girl, go to rotten tomatoes for that

falin also has a tumblr and she and marcille had no idea the other is a tumblr user. falin made a post like "just watched daltian clan with my gf i get why shes really obsessed with it now" and marcille, against her better judgement replies to the post like "really sorry that you were misled by your girlfriend like that, you should read the novels instead, it's way better."

laios who sees falin looking shocked at her phone asks whats up and then after receiving the answer says "wow sounds like a real jerk! just block them"

anyway thats my modern day farcille when there's no high fantasy problems involved

[the-record]

SKINNY DIPPING

SUMMARY: ellie, your perfect high school girlfriend, is back in town after college. what’s one date?

PAIRING: modern!ellie williams x reader

WARNINGS: n/a

A/N: i had an idea!!! pls enjoy while i finish the other 3 ellie fics lol

‘ WE’VE BEEN SWIMMIN’ ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF ’

“oat milk latte for ellie.” your head shoots up hearing the order called off. it couldn’t possibly be her.

your staring at her when she turns around and makes eye contact. a smile forms on her face and she makes her way over to the table you’re at. “hey.”

“hi.” she points at the seat, you nod and she sits down. her eyes flicker away to not fall, but she brings them back to yours instantly. “how are you?”

“good.” she clears her throat, a comfortable smile on her face. “how are you? how’s your family?”

you roll your eyes and let yourself get comfortable. “theyre fine. my mom asked about you the other day.”

she leans back into her chair, one hand on her cup and the other on her thigh. “she did always love me more.” ellie teases. you kick her shin lightly and she hisses in pain.

your jaw drops. “oh stop, that did not hurt!” you watch the pout form on her face and kick her again, a little harder. you hear her whisper something as she grabs her leg. “that, maybe.” she gently kicks you back in retaliation. “so, what are you doing back here?”

she sips her latte before answering. “well i finished school, figured id see who wanted to hire me here before i went looking elsewhere.” you nod as she talks, taking all of her in. your ellie. “what about you? what’s like been like without me?” you know shes teasing but something inside you missed her.

“sunshine, smiles, and rainbows!” you close your laptop and give her your whole attention. “it’s been okay here, weird not seeing you and dina everyday.” she nods in agreement. “i’ve got an internship now, and a job, but not a career yet.”

talking with ellie is easy, it always has been. if she hadn’t gone away for college you might still be together. you take the time to learn everything new. you study the new freckles and a scar on her cheek. her voice is something you could listen to for years and never bore of.

“this was really nice.” ellie says as you pack your bag and she finishes her drink. “is there a chance we could do it again? maybe over dinner?” she leans forward on the table as she asks. “at miller’s?” the name of the restaurant makes you sigh.

you shake your head with a smile. “i dont know, sounds a bit… nostalgic, doesn’t it?” she shrugs and plays with the fingers on one of your hands.

“maybe. but lets do it anyways. it’ll be fun.” those green eyes would be the death of you.

the conversation at dinner came easy, ellie guiding you. it was nice to be back with her, in your own world in the quiet restaurant.

“have you dated anyone?” ellie asks, not exactly wanting to know.

you scoff as you take a sip from your glass. “not really. a couple flings but, nothing serious.” you say as you set down the glass. “you? im sure there were plenty of girls for you in santa barbara.”

“i dated a girl for awhile.” she smiles as you tense up and avoid her face. “broke up with her though.”

you hum. “and why’s that.”

“because she wasn’t you.”

you let out a breath you didnt know you were holding as a smile fights its way on your face. “ellie…” she takes your hand.

“let’s get out of here.” her eyes stare into your soul, convincing you silently.

the smile breaks free and you nod. “okay.”

you pay more attention to ellie than the roads as she drives. studying her profile, the lips you’d missed these past for years.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer.” your cheeks burn as ellie glances at you but you dont dare look away. its a few more moments before she slows and parks.

you glance around as you unbuckle and notice a familiar house. “dina’s place? weird place for a date.” she rolls her eyes and jumps out, running to get your door. “still quite a gentleman i see.”

“only for you babe.” she takes for you and leads you towards the house, but turns to the backyard rather than the door. you go to protest but she beats you to it. “don’t. just trust me.” she pulls you through the tall gate and into the backyard.

“i was gonna propose the beach, but then i remembered we are in jackson.” she smiled and pulled her top off.

you laugh. “ellie, what the hell are we doing here?”

ellie looks at you like it’s obvious. “we’re here to swim babe, duh?” shes stripping out of her pants now and you grab her arms to stop her.

“you have to be joking!” but she just shakes her head and jumps in, only her bra and underwear on. “i’m not getting in.”

she swims to the edge and reaches for your hands, which you mistakenly give her. “guess i’ll have to pull you in.”

you yell for her to wait but she’s already going, pushing back from the wall and pulling you with her. you pull her close as you come up to the surface.

“ellie!” she laughs and holds you in her arms. “i hate you.”

she shakes her head. “no you don’t.”

“no, i don’t.” its quiet, only the sounds of the water as you stand with her. “kiss me.”

who’s she to say no to that?

“ellie? is that you? angel? what the fuck!”

‘ I’M RESISTANT BUT GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP ’

[crucifiedfaerie]

Nicotine Stains | Pt. 2 ༉₊˚✧

Modern!Kylo x Fem!Reader AU

➴ Summary: As your relationship with Kylo grows behind closed doors, so does your worry and confusion about what exactly you are to him.

➴ Part One

➴ Word Count: 5.2k

➴ Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, dom!kylo, modern!delinquent!kylo au, smoking, swearing, quite a bit of angst, kylo is a stupid man who doesn't know how real relationships work apparently, he also doesn't know what communication is, reader is in her head about it, mutual pining, finnpoe my loves make an appearance (its canon to me idgaf), fluff, kinda hurt with comfort, SMUT (unprotected PiV sex, car sex, softdom!kylo, kinda breeding kink ?? oops), typos probably

➴ Taglist: ( @enviedear @capitanostella @teapartydreams @beautifulbluejay @mochiseni )

A/N: im alive !!!!! holy shit i promised this would be out in like november. oops. the writers block has been so real im sorry. now that i have this out though, chapter two of growing pains will be coming next !! i promise i didn't abandon that.... anyways i hope you enjoy !!

masterlist

You impatiently sat, knees tucked beneath you and head resting on the back of your family’s couch so you could look out the window. The men in your life had been away for a week and a half, and while you couldn't deny having Finn out of your hair for once was like a peaceful vacation in itself, you missed Kylo like crazy. Having to look at his sleek, black Charger parked in front of your house every time you looked out of your window didn't necessarily help either.

When he told you Finn had asked him to tag along on their annual camping trip, you couldn't help but laugh. The image of Kylo trying to fit his tall, broad frame into a tiny shared tent with your father and brother was too hilarious to you.

"What’s so funny, kid?" He had laughed back at you.

Usually, Poe was the one to go on those trips with your brother and father, but with him away at pilot school, Finn had been lonely recently. He wasn't expecting himself to take it so hard, but gods did he miss Poe. Despite missing Kylo, you were glad he agreed to go and keep Finn company. Your father, of course, was also overjoyed to hear that Kylo would be joining.

Your eyes lit up as your father's beat-up car pulled into the driveway. You watched as they unpacked the car and exchanged words you couldn't hear before Kylo parted ways and headed to his car with his bag hanging off his shoulder. When he reached the driver's side door, he noticed you in the window and gave you a subtle wink before getting into the Charger and pulling away. 

Part of you was expecting... hoping for him to come in, but you should have known he wouldn't. It's not like your family knew of your weird relationship that had been blossoming for the past month. You couldn't help but still feel a little disappointed, you hoped maybe he would have just said fuck it and come in and kissed you. Maybe he didn't miss you as much as you had missed him? Your heart sank at the idea. 

The mixed signals Kylo had been giving you were starting to give you whiplash. One minute he would be in your room treating you like you're the only person in the world who matters to him, and the next he'd be standing in the kitchen talking to Finn or your mother, not even giving you so much as a glance. 

The thought of asking him about what exactly the two of you were honestly made you wanna die. You didn't want to come off as clingy and ruin whatever it was you had, but the twinge of hurt that came with every time he ignored your presence was starting to become… too much. 

You sighed and walked upstairs to your room, feeling defeated. You practically collapsed in your chair before putting on your headphones and starting on some schoolwork, attempting to think about anything but Kylo. 

A thump muffled by the music in your ears broke you from your calculus-induced trance. When you turned around in your chair you were met with Kylo on your bedroom floor, who you assumed had just fallen through your window. You giggled at him, pulling your headphones down to rest around your neck. 

He groaned before sitting up and smiling at you. "I meant to do that." 

"Sure." You laughed, getting out of your seat to join him on the floor.

Kylo leaned against the wall, pulling you into his lap. He gave you a quick kiss before pulling away and looking down at you with those pretty brown eyes you can never seem to get enough of these days. "I leave for nearly two weeks to go into the middle of nowhere, and I can't even get a text from my girl when I get home?" He asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

You felt the warmth creep across your cheeks at the way he called you his. "I got carried away with homework, I didn't even realize what time it was." You glanced at the window behind him, noticing the dark indigo hue of the sky.

Kylo smiled, peppering small kisses down your jaw. "What were you listening to?" He lightly tapped your headphones with his long fingers. You took them off before carefully placing them over his ears. "Chevelle? I see my good taste continues to rub off on you kid." He grinned.

"Don't be so full of yourself. My dad loves Chevelle, I got it from him." You laughed, taking the headphones from him and tossing them into your chair. Kylo smiled before standing up, taking you with him, and setting you on your bed gently. His kiss was needy, and he slowly pushed you backward until you were lying down.

He pulled away, out of breath slightly. "Do you know how much I missed this? You were on my mind every night I was there... I couldn't even jack off because we were in that stupid tent..." He paused, shutting his eyes. "You didn't hear that." 

You giggled. "You jerk off thinking about me? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

Kylo laughed, rolling his eyes. "You idiot." He attacked your face with kisses that tickled, causing you to let out a half scream. "Shhh kid, your mom's gonna think you're being murdered up here." 

As if he had summoned her, you heard a knock at your bedroom door. Kylo quickly stood up from your bed, rushing over to your closet and maneuvering himself inside before shutting the door quietly.

You shook your head at him, stifling a laugh and taking your seat back at your desk, pretending to look like you were doing something. "You can come in." 

Your mother opened the door with a soft creak. "Were you talking to someone?"

You quickly fabricated a lie. "I was just on the phone with a friend from my class." 

Your mom nodded, briefly glancing around your room. "I actually came up here to tell you to ask Kylo if he's coming to dinner on Friday. I meant to ask when they came home earlier, but he left so fast I missed him." 

Your hands felt sweaty. Why would she ask you to ask him? Did she know? "Why wouldn't you ask Finn to talk to Kylo?" 

She leaned on the doorframe slightly. "Well he's been driving you to and from class a lot recently, just ask him for me tomorrow would you? And you better make sure to thank that boy for driving you around! It's very nice of him."

It took everything in you to hold back the laugh that threatened to surface. You just knew Kylo was doing the same. "Yeah, I'll ask him." You had almost forgotten you had class in the morning. Fuck.

"Thank you. Goodnight, I love you." She began to shut your door. "Remember. Tell him thank you." 

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, I love you." You laughed as you listened to her footsteps disappear down the hall.

You leaned forward in your chair to open your closet door. Kylo chuckled softly. "Is there something you needed to say to me?... Sorry, I couldn't hear the conversation very well with this door in the way." He smirked, taking a step towards you. 

"Oh shut up." You smiled back at him. 

He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his long arms around you. Your face pressed into his shirt, the smell of blackberries and pomelo from his cologne filling your senses. "It's fine, you can thank me in different ways." He whispered into the top of your head.

You giggled nervously, feeling your face get hot again. "Yeah?"

Kylo took your face into his hands and leaned back as if to study you. "Yeah..." He smirked. "But not tonight, you have class tomorrow, remember?" He kissed you again before letting you go and making his way towards your window. 

You groaned at him. "Why not just stay the night?" You asked sweetly, following him.

He smiled down at you with adoration. "What, so we both wake up late and you miss your class? Your parents would hate me." Kylo smirked

My mother and father could never hate you, stupid.

"Fine." You sighed, not having the courage to argue.

He leaned down and kissed you again, deeper this time. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?" 

"Okay." You said it so quietly you weren't sure if he even heard it. He ducked out of your window, shutting it quietly. You watched as he climbed down and went to his car in the darkness. Once his tail lights had disappeared at the end of your street, you collapsed onto your bed, allowing your body to succumb to sleep and silence your racing mind. 

Friday afternoon, you sat at the table in your overly warm kitchen, trying to finish some classwork as your mother cooked. The sound of the doorbell made your heart leap out of your chest. You'd been anticipating today all week and while you were hoping it was Kylo at the door, a part of you was also hoping he'd show up late so you wouldn't have to endure getting ignored by him so much.

You heard your dad open the door. "Hi Son, what a pleasant surprise!" You felt your palms get clammy. "Finn! Come down here!" Your father shouted up the stairs. You craned your neck to look around the corner and see who it was, hearing Finn's quick footsteps as he made his way down the steps. 

It was Poe. He stood in the foyer, dressed nicely but still wearing that worn, brown leather jacket he always wore. He held a bouquet of orange and white lilies. You smiled, those were Finn's favorite. 

"Poe!" Finn nearly knocked Poe over with how quickly he hugged him. "You said you wouldn't be back until summer!" 

Poe wrapped his arms around him, laughing. "You know I had to surprise you." He pressed a kiss to Finn's forehead. "Hey, don't crush the flowers, they barely made it on the trip down here." 

Finn pulled away, beaming at him. He took the flowers into his hands before kissing Poe.

You looked at your mother, who was grinning almost as wide as Finn was. "Aren't they just adorable? When you find someone, they better treat you as good as Poe treats Finn." She smiled at you. You gave her a weak smile back and nodded, looking back at the textbook in front of you. 

You couldn't help but wish Kylo would do that. Showing up at your door with flowers, instead of sneaking through your window no later than 11 pm to smoke weed and fuck. It wasn't like your parents wouldn't approve of him... they have always adored Kylo for no reason at all. You attempted to focus on the pages in front of you, it was ridiculous to dwell so deeply on a man you weren't even actually sure was yours.

Kylo showed up fashionably late of course. Your mother beamed at the sight of him standing in the entryway. "Kylo honey, I was worried you weren't going to come. Go ahead and sit." 

He smiled sweetly at her. "You know I wouldn't miss your wonderful cooking for anything." To your surprise, he took the seat right beside you, something he never does when he's over for dinner. 

Other than small glances, Kylo did not acknowledge your presence at the beginning of dinner. He mostly caught up with Poe and talked cars with your father. As you picked at the food on your plate, you felt a large, warm hand rest on your thigh. When you turned your head to look up at Kylo, he seemed unphased, deep in conversation with Poe.

"How is pilot school treating you, man?" Kylo asked, his one hand inching further up your thigh as he took a bite from his fork with the other hand. 

You felt warmth creep across your cheeks as you clenched your thighs together, causing his grip on you to tighten slightly.

He cannot possibly be serious? The fucking dinner table?

You looked at him again, chewing on the inside of your mouth and attempting to relax as much as you could. Kylo glanced down at you briefly, a sly smirk playing at his lips and his pupils large. He turned back to his conversation with Poe as he inched his long fingers underneath your skirt, brushing them against your clothed cunt.

You felt a moan threaten to escape your lips so you pretended to clear your throat, causing Kylo to fight back a grin. He was enjoying this way too much... This was all too much. You quickly grabbed his hand in an attempt to keep him from going any further. Thank god for your mother's tablecloth or everyone would have seen what was happening. 

You weren't sure what it was, maybe the obvious flush on your face, but your mother had noticed something was up. "Is something wrong sweetheart?" 

You tried to think of something, anything reasonable to say but your brain felt so foggy. 

Oh you know, Finn's best friend and so-called 'angel' in your eyes is playing with my cunt under the dinner table but doesn't have the decency to take me out on a date, no biggie.

"I'm fine, it's just really hot in here." You managed to get out, fiddling with the neck of your sweater. Kylo had removed his hand which was now resting on your knee. You sighed, silently thanking the gods of every pantheon you could think of. Moaning in front of your entire family at dinner wasn't exactly ideal. Despite the wetness growing in your panties, you wanted nothing more than to strangle him right there.

The rest of dinner was a blur, and at some point, Finn, Poe, and Kylo had disappeared to the basement, most likely to drink and play video games. This allowed you to sneak away to your room, the noise from the TV downstairs dissipating into a soft murmur as you shut your bedroom door behind you.

-

"FINN! I'm getting obliterated over here and you're on the other side of the map fucking around!" 

"I'm literally almost there calm down!" 

Kylo sat on the couch, listening as Finn and Poe bickered over the game they were playing, loud gunshots and explosions emanating from the television as Poe was, in fact, being obliterated. 

His knee bounced up and down nervously. As much as he enjoyed seeing Poe again and playing video games like old times, all Kylo could think about was seeing you again. 

You had seemed a little off today, did he do something wrong?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, taking a few minutes to type, delete, and retype his message to you, finally deciding on something lighthearted. 

Kylo: where'd you disappear to kid? you're missing out on some riveting gameplay down here.

The blue glow of his screen illuminated in his hands a few minutes later, and he felt a wave of excitement course through his body when he saw that you had responded. 

♡: i forgot i had a paper i needed to finish.

Kylo frowned at his phone, it was 9:30 pm on a Friday. Surely he had done something to upset you. He sighed before trying to formulate another text to send back to you.

Finn’s voice pulled him from his anxious thoughts. “There are more beers in the garage, I’ll be right back.” Kylo watched as he kissed Poe quickly before sprinting up the stairs.

“So,” Poe started, leaning closer with a grin on his face. “Any new girls or are you still fixated on your best friend's sister?” 

Kylo groaned, knowing this would come up. “That was in middle school, I wouldn’t have told you then had I known now you’d still be bringing this up years later.” He laughed nervously.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Ren.” Poe laughed. “Elementary, middle, high school… Hell, four months ago before I left, you were talking about her.” He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth before continuing. “I don’t know why you won’t just go for it. Their parents already love you, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal like you think it will be.”

“You don’t get it Poe, they like me as Finn’s friend. She’s in college and I have nothing ahead of me except a court date for a speeding ticket next week. But if you must know, we’ve been… talking and hanging out for the past month and I’m pretty sure I’ve already made her mad at me so… yeah.” Kylo said tiresomely. 

Poe’s eyes lit up. “What the hell dude? Were you just not going to tell me-”

“We got lucky, there was only three left.” Their conversation was cut short, to Kylo’s relief, by Finn coming down the stairs holding three crisp cans of beer, the condensation leaving a damp mark on the front of his shirt.

“I was actually about to head home.” Kylo said, standing from the old, sunken couch. 

Finn groaned in protest, setting the cans on the water-stained coffee table. “Just stay for another game or two, I’ll let you take my spot.” 

“Yeah, just another game or two.” Poe chimed in, his eyes wide, silently pleading with him to stay in hopes Kylo would tell him more. 

“Sorry guys, I’m just really tired tonight.” Kylo shot Poe a look. “I’m coming back over tomorrow.” With Finn’s back turned momentarily, he took the opportunity to mouth “Drop it.”

“Fine, but no flaking out on us or we will drag you out of your home.” Finn smirked.

Kylo nodded in agreement, laughing slightly, before making his way up the stairs into the kitchen. Your parents had already gone to bed, the refrigerator humming and ticking clock being the only noise that filled the quiet darkness. 

He silently made his way up the stairs to your room, taking a breath once he reached your door before opening it slowly. Once inside, he noticed your empty desk chair and your computer which cast a soft glow on you, lying face first on your bed. You turned your head to look at him.

"Making really great progress on that paper I see." He smirked at you, that stupid smirk you love to hate and hate to love. 

"I'm tired." That was all you could manage to say to him. After his stunt at the dinner table and his general behavior in the past month, you honestly wanted nothing more than for him to just go away.

“What's wrong pretty girl?” Kylo’s voice was soft and sweet like honey. You felt the bed dip beside you and two strong arms wrap around you. “Are you mad at me for dinner? I-” 

You sat straight up to look at him, causing him to stand up from your bed. “Yes! Yes, I’m mad at you for dinner.” You shouted at him, as much as a whisper would allow you to. “You don't even have the decency to come through the front door most times, and when you do, you act like I don't exist. I don't understand you, if I had known I'd just be a fuck buddy to you I wouldn't have given you my virginity in the first place.”

For a few moments, Kylo stared at you. He looked surprised but there was a softness and concern in his eyes. “That isn't all you are to me, I promise… I just... feel like I'm not good enough for you sometimes.” 

You sighed, collapsing back into your pillows. Your capacity to care or argue with him was spent. “I wish you had figured that out before you invited me out onto the roof to smoke with you.” 

The room was quiet for a few moments before you heard the sound of your window opening and closing. He left your house wordlessly, with nothing but dead silence left in his wake. 

You felt hot tears sting at the corners of your eyes, regretting nothing more than ever allowing Kylo to get close to you. 

Asshole.

You hadn't realized you’d fallen asleep until you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing. Lifting your head from your tear-soaked pillow, you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness of your phone to see who was calling you so late.

Kylo.

You nearly groaned, debating whether or not it was a better idea to just ignore him. You ultimately decided against your better judgment.

“What do you want?” You spoke sleepily into the phone.

“Just come down here for a moment.”

You got up and looked out your window. Kylo stood in front of your house, leaning against his car with his phone pressed against his face. “No.” You were about to hang up on him before you heard his voice again.

“You can hate me, that's fine. I just want to show you one thing.” There was a quick desperation to his voice. “Please.”

“Fine.” You sighed, hanging up the phone before slipping your shoes on quickly and opening your window. Once on your roof, you had wished you’d grabbed a jacket. The cold, midnight air nipped at your exposed arms, causing you to shiver. 

You climbed down your mother's trellis, taking extra care not to crush any of the vines that would bloom beautifully in the spring. 

You felt the frozen dew from the grass brush across your ankles as you made your way to Kylo’s car and watched as he opened the passenger side door for you. The warmth of the car interior enveloped you as you sat down, and once fully inside, he shut your door before practically running around his car to his side. 

He pulled away from your house with a roar from his engine, and you hoped your parents didn't hear it. 

“Where are we going?” You asked unamused. 

“Somewhere I like to go when I want to be alone... I think you’ll like it.” Kylo said softly, glancing at you once before focusing on the road again. 

You sighed, watching as he pulled onto a backroad. The canopy of trees shaded the car from the moonlight, only the glow of the radio dimly illuminating the interior. 

“You really shouldn't have, you know… Taking me somewhere nice like the forest before murdering me.” You said sarcastically.

Kylo laughed. “Where else would I dispose of the body? Suburbs are much too populated.” He joked, reaching for his cigarettes before offering one to you. 

You tried to hide the smirk that played on your lips, hating how easily he could make you laugh. You accepted the cigarette, watching as the trees cleared to reveal a moonlit lake. 

Kylo put the charger in park, before turning in his seat to face you. “I’m sorry I've treated you the way I have this past month.” He reached up to light your cigarette for you, not breaking eye contact. He ignited his own, taking a few puffs before continuing. “I've always been so scared of not being good enough for you or living up to your family's standards… and now I've allowed my fears to hurt you. But I can assure you you're way more than just a quick fuck to me, I can't apologize enough for making you feel that way.” 

You watched as Kylo reached into his back seat for something, retrieving a stack of small notes and colored paper. He smiled nervously before handing them to you. 

As you flipped through them in silence, you tried to make sense of what you were looking at. In the stack were dozens of notes and cards all in his handwriting, some more recent and some that seemed to have been written by a much younger Kylo. You looked up at him, no longer able to hide the smile on your face. 

“I would write them and always get way too nervous to give them to you… but I kept them anyway.” Kylo said nervously, speaking quickly. “I've liked you since we were children, Poe always-”

You cut him off with a kiss, his warm lips immediately melting into yours as he kissed back with need and desire. Kylo extinguished his cigarette in his car's ashtray before traveling his hands up to hold your face.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still cradling your face in his hands, Kylo looked at you with a gaze so soft, that you thought you'd melt into a puddle on the floor of his Charger. 

He spoke softly. “Be my girlfriend. Say you'll be mine and my fears will be far behind me, I promise.” 

You beamed at him, nodding quickly. “I'm yours.”

Kylo’s lips connected with yours once again and he kissed you feverishly. He reached down to fiddle with something before his seat extended back with a dull thump. Without ever breaking the kiss, Kylo pulled you with him to the backseat, laying you down so he was hovering above you. 

You quickly fumbled with his belt, trying to blindly undo the clasp. He brushed your hands away, kissing his way down your now trembling body and stopping just above the waistband of your pants. Hooking his fingers into them, he quickly and expertly removed both your pants and underwear in one go, exposing your bare cunt to the cool air of his car. You watched as he threw your clothes somewhere into the dark void that was the front seat. 

You whined, pushing your thighs together for warmth and friction, which Kylo promptly used his strong hands to open again. “Not so fast, my little star. I wanna take my time with you tonight.” He smirked up at you. 

Half-kneeling on the floorboard of the car, Kylo peppered kisses up and down your inner thigh, causing you to shiver in his grasp. After what felt like eons of teasing, he finally placed a kiss just below your pubic bone before licking a stripe up your slit. 

You moaned, tangling your fingers into his long, dark locks as he began to feast on you. Your body felt full of electricity as if you were going to spark and short circuit at any moment. 

He was unrelenting with his tongue, and you felt yourself nearing your climax. “Kylo!” You whined desperately. 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” He mumbled against you, not faltering once in his attack on your now very sensitive clit. 

“You’re g-gonna make me cum already, stop.” You breathed out. 

You could feel him smirk against your heat. “That's fine. Go ahead, cum for me.” He hummed.

Your head felt light and your body electric as you came, your vision blurring as you rode your high on his tongue. You only noticed he had stopped when you came to and saw him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his dark hair messy and pupils blown with lust. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He breathed as he undid his belt, “I can't believe I waited a month to do that.” 

Laughing weakly, your head still fuzzy from your high, you admired him as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his pale chest littered with beauty marks. He looked so angelic the way the moon behind him cast his frame in an almost halo-like glow. You watched as he freed his erect cock from the tight confines of his jeans. 

Kylo kissed you as he lined himself up with your entrance, pausing momentarily to hold the side of your face in his hand and smile at you with adoration. “I wish you could see how pretty you look right now… How pretty you always look.”

You whined, still unable to form a coherent sentence and wrapping your arms around his broad frame. You felt him push his cock inside you slowly, and he watched as your eyes rolled back into your skull in pleasure. 

You moaned into the crook of his neck as he began to move, thrusting into you gently. His hand traveled up your shirt to cup your breast while he used the other to keep the back of your head from hitting the door handle. 

Kylo’s pace quickened, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside you with every thrust. “You’re gonna m-make me cum again, you f-feel too good.” You breathed.

“I’m not gonna stop you, baby. Cum on my cock as many times as you need.” He smiled down at you, slightly out of breath as he neared his own climax. 

You came undone beneath him for the second time that night, loudly moaning his name and whatever expletives your brain thought of first, not having to worry about the possibility of waking your entire family as you both bathed in the moonlight that slipped through the now foggy windows of Kylo’s Charger. 

“Hm- Fuck I’m gonna cum.” Kylo moaned into your ear. 

“Please cum in m-me. I love you.” You whined. Your mind was so foggy from cumming twice that you had lost your inhibition completely and it took you a moment to realize what you just said to him.

You didn’t have much time, however, to worry about it for too long as Kylo let out a moan you had never heard from him before, a sound of need and desperation. “Fuck- Fuck! I love you too.”  He came to a halt deep inside you, before filling you with his cum. 

He breathed heavily on top of you, staring down at you with shock and adoration. “I love you too.” He repeated, completely out of breath. When he pulled out, you felt his cum drip down your thigh as he quickly retrieved his shirt from the darkness of the floorboard to clean you up. 

Kylo peppered kisses up and down your body before pulling you into his lap to hold you in his arms, and you watched as he lazily drew a heart in the condensation that had collected on the window. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, thinking only of how comfortable you felt in his presence. 

You didn’t get home until 4 am and slept through most of the morning. You awoke to your father yelling at you from downstairs saying something about how there was somebody there to see you. Confused and still tired, you wiped the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the stairs. 

You stopped in your tracks at the top of the steps. Kylo standing in your foyer waiting for you was the last thing you expected. He had cleaned up nicely, trading his usual rotation of black band tees for a nice, dark button-up, and in his hands he held a bouquet of pink lilies. He smiled nervously up at you.

“Hi?” You beamed at him, laughing slightly.

“Hi,” Kylo smirked, looking down the hall towards the kitchen, where your dad had disappeared to, before continuing in a lower tone only you could hear. “I thought I’d try the front door this time.”

[aemondapologistfrfr]

The Family Disappointments - Pt8

modern!aegon x fem!reader

Previous Parts

Summary: You guys return from the honeymoon and discuss your future. You both decide to celebrate each other for a little while longer before settling down. 

Warnings: 18+ swearing, drinking, smoking(weed), fingering, public, oral(f+m), p in v, unprotected, talk of pregnancy, emo bc im still emo 

Authors Note: i’m down bad and ready to carry this man’s children 🤰🏼 sometimes i think i make these too smutty and then i remember it’s aegon and im like nvm it’s prob not enough 🤭

Word Count: 5.5k

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As the elevator doors open a smile splits across my face as our cats come running to us. Aegon and I toss our bags aside and scoop up our cats. We coo and kiss them before coming together to switch cats. They jump out of our arms and he pulls me against him a moment later. 

“We’re married.” he kisses my forehead. I lean up and kiss him softly. 

“We are.” I smile at him. We grab our bags and begin to haul them up to our room. Our bags are quickly tossed aside as we see gifts and a note spread across the bed. 

To our naughty eloping children-

We want to express how proud we are of you both and how happy it makes us that you two have found love. We’ve left you with a couple bottles of wine - not condoning the excessive drinking but it’s a celebration - and somehow your fathers convinced us a couple of your strong smelling pre-rolls was an acceptable gift - everything is good in moderation right? Maybe we’ll try one. - Anyways I would like us to set up a dinner for all of us soon. 

Sunfyre and Moonfyre were a delight. Although you have extra rooms that could be filled with actual children… No rush.. We’ve already started registries and buying things..

-Your Parents 

“Gods,” Aegon barks out a laugh, grabbing one of the wine bottles and popping it open. I grab one of the pre-rolls and a lighter and we make our way out to the balcony. We sprawl across the couch and pass the bottle and joint back and forth before discarding them both on the table in front of us. “Sending us wine and weed and then asking for a grandchild is crazy.” he rests his head on the back of the couch. 

“Seems accurate though.” I lean against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. 

“I know we've talked about it a little bit but like do you actually want to have kids?” I hear his heart beating faster. 

“The thought of carrying a child inside of me is scary.” I hum. 

“Dude seriously.” he chuckles looking down at me. “Like you can grow an entire human in here.” his hand splays across my stomach. 

“And it kicks and pushes against me. Like we could see it.” I look up at him and find him already watching me with pink cheeks. “But then we get to introduce them to the world and we get to have a little version of us running around.” a smile starts to spread across my face. 

“I would like that.” his voice low as he presses a kiss against my head. 

“I’d still like to enjoy you and us, but if it happens then it happens.” I search his eyes and he nods his head with a grin. 

“I could make it happen right now.” he kisses down my jaw. 

“Are you ready for nine months of sobriety with me? We just ordered all that wine..” I sigh, turning my head to give him better access. “Our parents just gave us-“ I gasp as he starts to suck on my heated skin. 

“Fine,” he presses his lips against me once more before pulling back. “Let’s go on a little celebratory bender and see how we’re feeling at the end of the month.” he searches my eyes and I nod turning in his arms to press my lips against his. 

“That sounds perfect.” I hum against his lips. He lifts us up and I think he’s going to carry us back into the room until a scream is ripped from my mouth as he plunges us into the pool. “You couldn’t have taken off our clothes first?” I splash him. 

“Come here.” he smirks and I hop out of his way trying to avoid his hands. He grabs my waist and pulls me over to him and starts to pull off our clothes. I shiver, clinging to him trying to steal his warmth. 

“It’s cold.” I whine, shaking in his arms. 

“I’ll get a heater installed.” he lifts me up and mashes our lips together. I wrap my legs around him and hold onto him tightly as our bodies warm up together. His length is pressing against me and I snake my arm between us to wrap my fingers around it. “Fuck,” his hips jerk into my grasp. 

“Hm?” I hum pressing my lips across his chest as I loosen my grip and ghost over his length. I let my fingers travel past his base and he lets out a strained groan. I trail a single finger back up and circle his tip while his fingers dig into me. 

“You fucking tease.” he removes my hand from him and pushes into me a moment later. The water sloshes around us as he pushes up into me. My hands cling onto his shoulders as I press my hips down to meet his thrusts. Our grips on each other is bruising as we chase our highs. We both come undone with each other's names spilling from our mouths. 

“I want more wine.” I press my lips against his once more before sliding out of his arms and swimming over to the steps to get out. 

“Let me fuck you again.” he presses kisses against my bare shoulder as I grab the bottle off the ottoman. 

“I thought we were having a celebratory bender.” I chuckle bringing the bottle to my lips. 

“We can bring a bottle with us back into bed.” he grins with dark eyes. 

“Mm you convinced me.” I lick my lower lip and drag him inside. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

“Why can’t I just take you somewhere to get your nails done?” Aegon pouts watching me focus on spreading the polish across my nails. 

“Because I only want black nails and it takes me like ten minutes.” I glance up at him and shake my head at his pursed lips. 

“Then they have to dry and you’ll want another coat and then a top coat..” he groans loudly rolling over on the bed. 

“I didn’t know you were a nail tech?” I hum, raising my eyebrow. 

“I have a sister.” he lets his head hang off the side of the bed. 

“Then come do my nails.” I look at him expectantly. He offers me a smile before rolling over and hopping off the bed. 

“What will I get in return?” he grabs the bottle from my hand and then grabs the hand I was currently polishing. 

“I’ll do your nails after.” I bite my lip selfishly hoping he’ll say yes. 

“I haven’t had them polished in years.” he hums. “But..” he trails off. 

“I’ll roll us a joint too?” I tilt my head as he starts on the next nail. 

“And?” he smirks. 

“I’ll call us a car to go out?” I tilt my head. 

“And?” he grins, finishing up my hand and moving back to the other. 

“Someone is greedy.” I glare at him as he starts the top coat softly chuckling. “I just want to polish your nails cause I think it’ll look hot.” I roll my eyes at him. 

“Do you not think I’m hot now?” I groan at his teasing. 

“I think you’re annoying.” I start to blow on my nails. “But yes, I think you’re hot now. Buuut I think you’d look even hotter if you matched your nails with mine.” I bat my eyelashes up at him. 

“I suppose.” he sighs, pushing his hand out to me. “Because I love you and cherish you and do everything for you.” I can’t help the laugh that spills from my lips as I finish up his right hand. 

“Gods Aegon. It’s just nail polish.” I roll my eyes at him as I hold my hand out for his next. Once this hand is complete I blow on both of his hands and he watches me amused. 

“So you think I’m extra hot now?” he wiggles his fingers in my face. 

“I think you’re extra annoying now.” I glare up at him. 

“Look at you blushing. Awww you like me.” he coos and I shake my head. 

“Of course I like you, you loser. I literally married you.” I grab his hand and begin the last coat. 

“You wound me calling me a loser.” he gasps and grabs his chest. 

“But a hot loser.” I smile and grab the hand on his chest to finish it. 

“And you only like me. Your caring, doting husband. Who would do anything for you? I can’t believe this.” he looks at the ceiling and shakes his head. 

“Aegon, my amazing husband, who has been made and sent to me, who matches his nails with mine, I love you so dearly and so much I would simply cease to exist without you.” I watch as his cheeks slowly flush. 

“Well thank you.” he clears his throat. “I think that’s the kind of worship and devotion I would like from you like every second of the day.” he nods his head and I roll my eyes at him. I stand and walk over to the bed and get my phone. I call us a car and pull him to our closet. 

“I don’t know what to wear.” I sigh looking around. I pull out some dresses and groan not liking any of them for tonight. 

“You look perfect in anything.” he rests his head on my shoulder. “I’ll always prefer you in nothing though.” he presses his lips against my neck. “Just wear this one.” he blindly reaches out and grabs one of his shirts. 

“Aegon,” I chuckle. “You can wear that.” he lifts up and looks at his shirt in his hands. 

“No, just wear it with some tights or something.” his eyes darken. “Yeah that would actually be hot.” he nods his head and goes to my dresser to find a pair of tights. He nods his head again and makes his way back over to me. He slowly starts to take my clothes off and replaces them with his shirt. He slowly buttons it up and kneels before me to help me into the tights. 

“You think I’m like your doll now or something?” I look down at him and brush his hair back. 

“You want me to dress you and play with you as I please?” he grins up at me. “Hm?” his fingers ghost up my legs as he pulls the tights up. He tilts my chin up at him and raises a brow. “But that means you’d have to be good.” I scoff at him and turn to go find a pair of shoes. His hand wraps around my arm and pulls me back over to him and looks down at me with hungry eyes.

“Just for tonight.” I relent, though it was never up for debate from either of us. “And maybe other nights.” I bite my lip and he pulls me against him. His hands push up the shirt and he roughly grabs my breasts. His fingers roam all over my torso before he adjusts my shirt again and begins to pull me over to my shoes. He pulls out a pair and slips them onto my feet. 

“I want you,” his eyes roam over me. His hands grab at me pulling me closer and I let him with a soft smile on my face. “To get on your knees for me, pretty girl.” I slowly sink to the ground and look up at him. His hand trails over my jaw and his thumb brushes against my lips. “Open your mouth.” the moment my mouth opens he pushes his thumb inside. I let my tongue brush against it as I continue to look up at him and he groans. 

I reach up to pull his sweats down and he removes his thumb from my mouth and kicks them fully off. He slowly starts to stroke himself above me and I watch him with flushed cheeks. I watch his red tip slowly leak out little droplets and I scoot closer. He trails his tip across my lips as I continue to look up to him. I push my tongue out of my mouth so it can graze against his tip as it passes by. He looks down at me with dark eyes and pulls back and leans down to me a bit. 

“Hit the back of my thigh like three times if it’s too much.” I nod up to him. “Say it so we’re on the same page.” his fingers ghost along my jaw. 

“I’ll hit the back of your thigh three times if it’s too much.” I nod. His hand from my jaw goes to my hair as he stands. I go to reach out for his length and he tugs my hair.

“Open your mouth. I want you to keep your hands on your thighs for me.” his voice low as I place my palms on my thighs. The second my mouth is open he pushes himself in. His pace is fast and I claw into my thighs to steady myself. I look up at him and groan at his blissed out expression. His hips falter at my vibrations but he snaps them back into me a moment later. Spit starts to seep out the sides of my mouth and the noises he’s making above me are going straight to my core. I squeeze my thighs shut as he thrusts in particularly hard. 

“Look at me.” he pants and softly caresses my jaw as he continues to slam into me. I look up at him with watery eyes and I feel him twitch inside of me. “Fucking perfect,” he groans and our eyes stay locked on one another. I suction my lips around him and he slams into the back of my throat causing me to choke a bit. His pace gets sloppy and I can tell from the whimpers and curses spilling from his mouth he’s about to come. I reach up between his legs and let my fingers graze over his stones and he starts to spill his pleasure down my throat. I keep my lips wrapped around him and his fingers dig into my hair before pulling me off. 

“Was that good?” I stay on my knees looking up at him. 

“Fuck yes, pretty girl.” he pants above me. He holds his hands out and I grab them and he tugs me up against him. “So perfect and amazing and mine.” he hums before mashing our lips together. He starts to smooth out my hair and adjusts my shirt. When he pulls back he grabs a change of clothes for himself and begins to get ready. 

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

“I said two shots not a fucking water.” Aegon yells over the music to the bartender. 

“All I can give you both is water. The manager cut you off.” I lean against Aegon's side as I try to keep my face straight. We can both barely stand and have been leaning against each other for the past hour. 

“Fine, fuck it.” he snatches the water and leads us back to our table. He places me in his lap and I lean against the table. “Cut off.” he mumbles. 

“Let’s just go home to our bar. I’ll serve you.” I turn in his lap and he pulls my lips against his. My head is fuzzy from our drinks and the heat and I’m getting more intoxicated by his tongue. His hands trail under my shirt and I moan into his mouth as he squeezes my hips. He grinds me against him and I feel his hardness through his pants. “Please,” I whine. “Please let’s go home.” I press myself against him and he pulls us up from the booth and begins to drag us out of the club. 

“Gods,” he groans, throwing his hand over his face as we step outside. “I didn’t know the sun would be rising.” I squint my eyes looking at the lilac and orange sky above us. 

“Did you call us a car?” I hum wrapping my arms around his waist. 

“I did.” he smiles tilting my chin up and pressing his lips to mine. “We’re gunna go home and you’re gunna make me a drink and then I’m gunna fuck you until we fall asleep.” he presses kisses all across my face. “Would you like that pretty girl? I wanna bury my head-“

“Aegon.” I shake my head at Alicents voice and look behind him and see our moms glaring at us from their car. 

“Why did you call them to take us home?” I whine, dragging my feet as he tugs us to the car. 

“I dunno, sometimes I just call my mom when I’m drunk.” he opens the doors for me and climbs in after me.

“I remember from our honeymoon.” I press a kiss against his hand as we settle into the seats. Our moms turn around and take in our states. 

“It is seven in the morning.” my mother hisses at me. 

“I didn’t know.” I try to hide my laughter.

“What do you know?” my mother looks me over exasperated. 

“That I want to go home and make mimosas for me and my husband.” Aegon nuzzles himself into my neck. 

“I thought we could all have breakfast.” Alicent hums looking at us in the rear view mirror as she starts to bring us home.

“Absolutely not.” Aegon shakes his head. “We can have dinner but we will be drinking more and going to bed.” our mothers let out a collective sigh. The ride back to our building is quick and we’re stumbling out of the car. “Wait wait,” Aegon pulls me back and sticks his head back in the car. 

“Yes Aegon?” Alicent sighs, turning her head. 

“She said she wants to have my babies soon.” he grins wildly and I pull him out of the car and into our building. 

“When we wake up you’re going to be mad about our dinner plans.” I hum as I tug him up the stairs to the bar. 

“As long as I can have you for breakfast I don’t care.” he pulls us behind the bar and pulls out a bottle of champagne and orange juice. 

“Let me.” I grab the bottles from his hands. I pull out a pair of glasses and his hands snake around my waist pushing my shirt up. “Aegon the building is about to wake up.” I turn my head to glare at him. 

“I don’t care. Just pour the drinks.” he hums, digging his fingers into my ass. He slides them up my back and pushes me down onto the counter. I gasp as he rips my tights open and lands his palm on my ass. “I’m wanna fuck you here.” he rasps sliding a finger down my slit.

“Let’s just go upstairs.” my voice wavers as I lean back into his touch. 

“Mm but we’re already here. You’re so wet and so warm.” he hums leaning against my back as he slips two fingers inside. 

“Fuck Aegon,” my teeth clamp down on my lip. He starts to slam his fingers into me and the sounds of my wetness are starting to get louder. “People are gunna-“ a soft whine falls from my lips as he curls his fingers. 

“Gods you're so hot.” he groans, slamming his fingers into me. I bring my hand up to my mouth to keep myself quiet and he leans over to whisper in my ear as he keeps his pace with his fingers. “Being so good for me. Gunna come all over my fingers and finish making my drink?” I can hear his smirk as my stomach tightens. I nod my head and my legs begin to shake from pleasure. I burst around his fingers and he quickly pulls them out. 

“Clean me off.” he brings his hand up to my mouth and I slowly suck his fingers into my mouth. He groans as I press my ass back into him while slowly pulling his fingers back out of my mouth. I catch my breath and go back to making our drinks. I turn to him and hand him a glass and take in his flushed cheeks and tented pants. 

“Thank you.” I say softly looking up at him. 

“I’m gunna cancel dinner and we’ll have it another night. I need to fuck you for the rest of the day.” he pulls out his phone and I try to talk him out of it but he sent the text. He drags us to the elevator and has me pressed against the glass the second the doors close. 

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Aegon has been pouting around the apartment all afternoon trying to get me to text my mom to cancel the dinner that we’ve rescheduled twice now. He’s been so clingy today I can’t even walk to another room without him leaning against me. 

“Please,” he whines moping into the living room with me. “Please, please, please,” he repeats. 

“Aegon, enough.” I turn to him, squishing his cheeks. “We’re having dinner. If I cancel they’ll probably just come over anyway.” 

“I don’t want a family dinner.” he purses his lips looking at me with his sad eyes. 

“I don’t want to hear another word about this.” I lift my chin up and go to turn the TV on. 

“Or what?” his eyes are full of mischief as he sprawls himself on top of me. 

“Or we’re gunna have another week of celibacy.” his eyes widen at my words and he sits up. 

“How am I supposed to get you pregnant? It’s the end of the month.” I groan covering his mouth with my hand as I climb into his lap.

“It seems as if I’m already a mother to you.” I push him back against the couch and I feel him smile into my palm. He jerks his hips up and I fall onto his chest letting my hand move from his mouth. 

“You want me to be quiet?” his hands travel up my sides. 

“Ideally but I know you won’t.” I sigh. He lifts me up and starts to bring me to our room. “Gods and now I can’t watch my show.” I sigh even louder, tossing my head over his shoulder. “You’re not being a very good boy.” I hum against his neck and I hear him chuckle. 

“Then put your little love show on while I eat you out.” he tosses me back on the bed. He grabs the remote and turns our TV on and hands it to me. I watch him with raised brows as he crawls up the bed and tugs my pants down. 

“Your obsession with me is getting out of hand.” I smile at him as I press resume on my show. 

“I’m sure it’s such a tragedy to come on my face at least once a day.” he shakes his head as he settles between my legs. I watch him as he kisses up my legs and he stops and raises an eyebrow. “Watch your show, not me.” I look past him and his hair begins to tickle against my thighs. 

He attaches his mouth to me and my hips jolt upwards. His tongue is quick as it lashes against my bud. “Aegon,” I whine out his name. He brings his arms up to press my legs open for him before he begins to devour me. “Fuck, please,” I bury my fingers in his hair and abandon my show. He groans into me and I push myself up against his face. He looks up at me and pulls back when he sees me watching him. 

“Thought you wanted to watch your show?” his breath fans across me and I buck my hips up. 

“I thought you were gunna be quiet.” I tug his hair and he chuckles. He stares at me as he slides his tongue around my wetness. I shake above him as he dips his tongue into me before quickly replacing it with his fingers. I toss my head back into the pillows when his tongue laps against me again. “Just like that, yes,” I cry, grinding against his face. My pleasure slams through me unexpectedly as I press his face against me. 

“Finish your show then.” he hums, kissing up my torso before resting his head on my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair while he falls asleep and I watch my show. 

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

I side eye Aegon who is drumming his fingers against the table as we wait for our parents to come up. His leg is shaking and I place my hand on it to settle him. He looks at me with a soft smile and leans against me. 

“Why’re you nervous, sweet boy?” I hum, smoothing his hair back. 

“Cause the last time we saw our mothers we were drunk and I told them I was going to get you pregnant. What if they think I’m still too immature? Do you think I’m immature? Actually don’t answer that.” he furrows his brows. “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?” I grab his hands and turn to him to pull his attention to me. 

“I think you’ll be a very good dad. You treat Sunfyre and Moonfyre so well that I’m positive our child will be spoiled from the very moment we know of their existence. You’re very sweet and caring. I mean that.” I nod my head and he searches my eyes. 

“So you for real want to have a baby with me?” he nibbles his lip. 

“I don’t want to have a baby with anyone else.” I chuckle. 

“You two are just so darling.” my mother coos with my father in tow. 

“It’s starting to look really good in here.” Viserys nods in approval. 

We both get up from the couch and lead them to our table in the restaurant. Servers flock to our table and fill our glasses quickly and without prompting. Our parents look at us with smiles adorning their faces and I feel a flush creep up my neck at their gaze. I turn and see Aegon is in the same state. 

“So how have you both been?” Alicent gives us a knowing smile. 

“Enjoying each other.” I look at Aegon who presses a kiss against my hand. 

“And still drunk calling your mothers.” my father shakes his head. 

“At least they’re not driving themselves.” my mother chides, patting his hand. “Though your little confession at the end..” a grin spreads across her face. 

“Well you practically begged us to start having kids in the note.” Viserys chokes on his drink at my words. 

“What did you both put in that note?” Viserys looks at Alicent. She whispers to him and he shakes his head at her. 

“Well are you trying?” my mother looks over both of us. 

“Gods mother.” I groan. 

“I can be excited.” she purses her lips at me. “We can set up a room and I watch the little cherub. Alicent and I have been shopping and picking things out.” she looks over to her with a conspirator’s smile. 

Aegon keeps his hand resting on my thigh for the rest of dinner. He rubs soothing circles on my leg as they continue to interrogate us about our plans for the future. My fingers interlace with his while the dinner goes on. Our parents prattle on about their lives and businesses and we nod absentmindedly. After a couple hours our fathers thankfully get up and start to take our mothers with them. 

“We love you,” Alicent tosses over her shoulder. 

“We want grandkids soon,” my mother adds in after her and they cackle walking down the stairs. Once they leave our sight we sink back into the chairs sighing loudly. 

“That wasn’t so bad.” I turn my head to the side and see Aegon staring at the ceiling. 

“Nothing is bad when you’re with me.” he turns his head and offers me a tired smile. 

“I love you.” I hum bringing my hand to his cheek. 

“I love you.” his hand encases mine as he nuzzles into it. “Let’s go upstairs.” we rise from our chairs and make our way to the elevator. We shower our cats with attention before making our way up to our room. He pulls me flush against him and we hold each other in silence. He sighs loudly and I pull back and search his eyes. 

“What’s wrong, sweet boy?” I frown cupping his cheeks. 

“I don’t,” he shakes his head. “My parents weren’t good parents. I mean I didn’t turn out the best either.” he tries to smile. “I’m just scared I’ll be a bad parent. What if I fuck up? I don’t want to ruin our child the way I was.” his words cause a deeper frown to etch across my face. 

“My parents were the same. There’s a reason they get along so well.” I look up at him. “We are not them. You wanting to be better than them is already showing that you are. I think you would make an amazing dad.” I nod holding him close. “We can do it together.” I mumble against his chest. 

“You really want to have a kid with me?” he pulls back and searches my eyes intensely. 

“I would love to raise a child with you.” I smile up at him. He presses his lips softly against mine and we mold together. We slowly peel each other's clothes off worshiping each other after every piece. He lays me back on the bed softly. Our touches are soft and tantalizing as our bodies press against one another. His fingers find my awaiting wetness and I sigh into his mouth and he pulls more from me. 

“I love you so fucking much.” he mumbles against my lips as he slowly pushes into me. My legs wrap around his waist holding him closer as he starts to move. He slowly rocks his hips into me pulling soft whines from my mouth. 

“I love you.” I whimper pressing my lips against his neck. My breath fans across his skin as he continues to grind into me. He lifts up and pushes our lips together. 

“You feel so good, pretty girl.” he whines into my mouth. “Want you to come with me.” I nod my head as I move my hips to meet his. As we whisper sweet words to each other we come undone holding tightly. He continues to rock into me and we swallow down each other's noises. We continue to get lost in each other as we rock our hips. He lifts his head up and looks down at me with reverence. 

He presses kisses across my face as he slowly pulls out and rests his head against my chest. I begin to run my fingers through his hair while he presses his lips against my chest. We stay tangled up together for the rest of the day slowly pulling pleasure out of each other. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

Aegon is standing between my legs as I sit on the counter. We’re trying to distract each other from looking at the four different tests next to us on the counter. It seems as if everytime we look at the timer it’s only been one second. I groan, resting my head on his shoulder. 

“These are the longest minutes of my life.” I look up at him. 

“I know it’s positive. I know it.” he nods his head. 

“I just-“ our alarm starts going off and we stare at each other. “You look.” I nibble my lip. I watch him lean over the counter. His head snaps to me and there’s a grin spread across his face. “Really?” I feel my eyes begin to water. 

“Really,” he nods his head quickly and pulls me into his arms. “Really really.” he grabs me off the counter and spins me around. Tears start to pour down my cheeks and I pull back and see he’s in the same state. 

“I’m so fucking happy.” I get out between soft sobs and cling to him. We smash our lips together and let our tears and emotions flow into one another. 

“I love you so much.” he mumbles against my lips. 

“I love you more.” I press kisses across his face. 

“Impossible.” he pulls me back to his lips once more. 

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masterlist 🔌 

no bc im usually indifferent on writing the pregnancy trope -insane bc ive done it multiple times- but i FUCK with this like ugh so cute so cute 

taglist ✍️

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @1-fuzzy-squirrels @arya-brooke @ashovertheriver @zanygot7straykidsbonk @moonymoo1 @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch @hardkiddonut @faenyra @hiimava11 @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @fiction-fanfic-reader @povofjustme @multilover19 @alexxavicry @cedstars @fuckalrighty @mrsmunson-harrington @misspendragonsworld @nz2004

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

June 30th

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1. Ok this might be a shot in the dark. But do you know of a fic where basically it’s an arranged marriage (kind of) between lan zhan and trans (ftm) wei ying. It believe it is based on a reddit thread of a gay guy who got into an arranged marriage with a woman, but they actually are a trans man. Anyways…the reddit posts are deleted by now. But I remember reading this fic a couple years back and I can’t find it anywhere. Either it’s been deleted or hopefully someone else is able to find it 😭

FOUND? Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach by Khashana (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern, Arranged Marriage, Marriage of Convenience, fake married, Sort Of, Rule 63, Trans Woman WWX, Partial Cisswap, implied background/societal homo/transphobia, But nothing overt, background LXC/Qin Su also in a marriage of convenience way, gender euphoria, the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with your spouse, based on that one reddit post, Light Angst, Light Pining, this fic is soft mostly) I think #1 might be this one, although wwx is a trans woman in it (it's a wlw wangxian AU) rather than a trans man

~*~

2. Hi!! I cant remember if I already sent this or just thought really hard about it 😪 Im looking for a modern AU fic where WWX is dx'd ADHD and he and LWJ slowly start a relationship. The scene I remember most clearly is there being fireworks and it send LWJ into a meltdown. Ether just before or after the meltdown he found out LXC and LQR have been trying to get him diagnosed with Autism.

Xiao Xingchen is an adult psych who specalizes in neurodivergence iirc, and WWX helps make LWJ feel more okay w possibly being neurodiverse by talking about his experience w ADHD and Xiao Xingchen.

🙇‍♀️ thank you! @la-voce-to-me

FOUND! together, we're just enough by lulu_kitty (E, 134k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bartender LWJ, single dad wwx, Kid fic (sort of), Excessive Fluff, Yearning, neurodivergent wangxian, canonical parental issues, lwj in jewelry, accidental sugar gege wwx, Bottom LWJ, Service Top WWX, Bisexual WWX, Rich WWX, a-yuan is a wei but still also a wen, wwx is a-yuan's biological baba, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Slow-ish burn, Light Dom/sub, Brief LWJ/Others, Past WWX/Other(s)) sounds a lot like the happenings in chapter 8!

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3. hey admins! i'm looking for a fic where wwx is from the modern world back and somehow goes back in time to the cloud recesses and spends some time there, and towards the end of the fic lwj goes back to the modern with wwx. (i also remember that wwx and lwj goes back and forth often visiting each others home) thanks! <3

FOUND? Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

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4. This for fic finder. Its an old fic. Modern au focused on junior quartet. I dont know if the fic is several fic or in one fic. Junior quartet is in a club where they make a magazine (sorry i forgot the word both in my language and in english). They have an access to a school forum. LJY found an old forum talking about wangxian. Like the people in that forum failed to make wangxian happen in the past. If i remember correctly, they tried to matchmake wangxian. They ask LWJ to accompany them to yunmeng. In yunmeng, there are big festival happened there and they meet the jiang family in second floor of the restaurant to watch the festival from there. I think the jiangs is a respectable family that many people know them. So long story short, they manage to matchmake wangxian. I dont know if LJY release the news to that old forum or someone did. Just that LJY have an inkling the account that helped them is NHS. I dont know if this is important but LJY username has connection to chicken. I think thats all. Thank you @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Operation Old Men by Chiharu (Not Rated, 37k, WangXIan, JL & LSZ & LJY, JYL/JZX, Modern, Boarding School, Single Parents, Everyone Is Alive, Matchmaking, Family Dynamics, Hospitals, Meet the Family, Family Vacation, Weddings, School Reunion, Happy Ending)

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5. this for ficfinder! i need help looking for a time travel fic wherein established wangxian travel back to their teen years. iirc wwx and lwj writes to each other in secret and wwx invents talismans to give to the jiang sect so that he can repay his debts and leave the clan when he is at a certain age. lwj also leaves (??). i think they become rogue cultivators tgt. im pretty sure i have this downloaded but i cant find it from hundreds of fics bc i cant rmbr the name 😭

FOUND! Trials of Time by Muggle_Diary (E, 32k, wangxian, major character death, underage, time travel, not jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, not JC friendly, butterfly effect)

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6. Hello!! So i think the fic got deleted but all i can remember was wangxian had mythical creature eggs? Like they had a dragon,tiger,snake&turqoise and phoenix and they can talk telepathically at first then they can shift to humans later on!Thank you again so much!!!!

FOUND? For #6 with telepathic creatures, I haven't read the fic, but could it be that magical marriage ribbons series?

FOUND? #6 is My Immortal. I can't do the link on I'm my phone. It has the mythical beasts.

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7. Hii, I'm looking for a fic in which lan zhan goes to a party with lan xichen and then keeps going to the same house where the party is at many times and hangs out with wei ying on the basement sofa

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8. hii!! i recently read a fanfic where wei wuxian can't sleep because he gets horrible nightmares, there's one particular scene where the juniors are practically dragging him into cloud recesses, and he's falling asleep whilst walking and they meet with Lan wangji. if you could help me find it, that would be super great !! @spaaarkie

FOUND? hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, wangxian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

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9. I thought I had subscribed to this fic but I guess not... Looking for a WIP in which WWX is ambushed in Yiling, but he has A-Yuan with him so he's extra desperate in trying to fight the attackers off. There might be fire involved? Either the title, the description or the tags have some reference to "hysterical strength" (maybe! not 100% sure about that one!). Thank you. 🖤❤️ @linderel

FOUND! Hysterical Strength by covalentbonds (Not rated, 3k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Inspired by a Bollywood movie scene, Everyone Lives/Nobody dies, Parent WWX)

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10. hi!! i'm looking for a fic i read about a year ago(?) on ao3, where during the cloud recesses study arc (i think?) lqr and the other teachers notice that wwx's basic education is lacking and wwx says it's because yzy doesn't let him join jc's lessons because wwx is supposed to be a right hand man and his education is therefore less important, so the lan elders and scholars all team up to give him remedial lessons; i think there's also a part where they build a case against the jiang sect because the sect scholars failed their responsibility to teach their disciples equally. the fic holding shreds by barisan reminds me of it a little bit, but instead of yzy's physical abuse of wwx the one i'm looking for is all about the emotional abuse and education inequality

FOUND?🔒💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting) in this one, Xichen is speculating that WWXs education was stunted, especially in sect etiquette, deliberately by mme yu.

FOUND?🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad) in this one the lan sect does the scholar case thing where they accuse jiang sect of failing their duties by neglecting to educate wei ying.

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11. hi, i'm looking for a fic which i found on twitter but im sure links to AO3 — basically everyone in the universe is some sort of animal (wwx is a fox, lwj is a dragon?) and they're classified by their mating cycles (whether they mate for life or seasonally). wwx and lwj gets engaged but lwj calls it off as wwx is a fox and therefore mates seasonally vs his for-life situation. wwx gets sad about it and then they find out wwx actually can mate for life! i used to find it easily before but for some reason no matter what i search, it just won't come up and i don't think i was logged into ao3 at the time i read it either. hope someone remembers it as well, thanks!

FOUND? what you have tamed by lianhua_lianzi, Senforza (E, 94k, WangXian, Animal Traits, misunderstandings, Courting Rituals, Pining, Lan family dynamics, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage, Wangxian break up but get back together, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Unresolved Sexual Tension, unintentional and eventually resolved “gaslighting”, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX)

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12. Hi I’m trying to find a fic where jiang Cheng is being forced to get married/find an heir. I remember that a member of YunmengJiang approached him with a list of members of the sect that would leave if he didn’t get an heir. I think it was mentioned that people were okay with him not having getting married since they assumed Jin Ling would inherit and Jin Guangyao would have another child but once his crimes were revealed they started to pressure him.

I know it wasn’t a Jiang cheng/lan Xichen or jiang cheng/nie Huaisang

FOUND? Karma by such_stuff_as_dreams_are_made_on (Not Rated, 2k, JC & OCs, Post-Canon, Arranged Marriage, Light Angst, Minor WangXian, Not JC Friendly)

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13. I’m trying to find this fic where Wei Ying is looking for spouse for some reason and he starts asking everyone in Cloud Recesses but Lan Zhan even ask LXC to be his partner right in front of LWJ

If you have an idea about what I’m talking about thank you!!

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14. so theres this fic in which jiang cheng and wei wuxian sit in a boat in jiang cheng's memories and wei wuxian sings a song that he altered slightly. im pretty sure it was a reconcilliation fic but im not sure but jc was a bit emotional. i can't find it, please help!

related to the previous ask, what i described is also only a scene from that fic and probably not what the entire fic is about. i only remember that one scene. @theartisticdoofus

FOUND? sing to the clouds in summerby stiltonbasket (G, 28k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, 13k words of JC figuring out that LSZ is his nephew, ft. LXC and NHS the overprotective uncles, and LWJ giving JC death glares, Family Secrets, Reconciliation, Sad JC, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Podfic Available) the song is in chapter 4

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15. Dear FicFinder Team, here I am again with only vibes and one scene. It was a WIP CQL post-canon fic, set during WWX's wanderings. At some point he exorcises a ghost in a tower (not one of the watchtower fics tho) and the last scene was WWX on his way back, kneeling in the grass to make offerings to his shijie and finally letting himself cry about her death. Maybe there were food descriptions too, I read this very early on and cannot find it in my history. It was exquisitely written too. @kinoumenthe

FOUND! the earth remembered me by remux (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, POV WWX, Post-Canon, Emotional Edging, Letters, emotional support strangers, Original Character(s), lwj's quiet devotion)

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16. Do you know the name for a fic where WWX is invisible (for some reason) and is in LWJ room (for some reason) and WWX watches LWJ hump a pillow but then LWJ notices that someone is in the room with him yada yada they have sex i forget when it gets revealed that it’s WWX

NOT FOUND! Mak Siccar by therealandraste (E, 20k, WangXian, Case Fic, Post-Canon, Misunderstandings, Pining, Happy Ending, Paperman smut - only god can judge me, Original Character Death(s)) the details don't exactly fit but

FOUND! Clinomania by malkinmalkout (E, 6k, WangXian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Somnophilia, misuse of talismans, PWP, Riding, Oral Sex, binding, Happy Ending, canon typical non-con)

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17. hello I'm looking for this twitter threadfic written by cerbykerby where wwx is a mermaid captured and brought in for studying by scientist lwj and others, and they eventually become mates. i've tried looking through their account for it but the fic is old and the search is way too far down, and i can't find the full fic. pls help out thanks!

FOUND? this is the unrolled threadfic by cerbykerby, I think

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18. Hi! First time requesting something like this, but I really need help finding this one fanfic. It’s a incomplete wangxian fanfic and the summary of what I remember was that when WWX wakes up in MXY’s body after thirteen years, people are actually praising YL WWX because somehow (I cant remember how) the truth behind his actions and why he did what he did in the first place. JC faces some hate from the cultivation world, JL doesn’t hate WWX, and LWJ is extremely protective of WWX. Hope all this information helps!!! @nikki-g-m

Could #18 be that fic where a painter/theater guy did an interview with drunk wwx during the burial mounds arc and then it got published after his death so that when he resurrects its's all settled already (?). I dont remember the name either but maybe someone else will

FOUND? 💖 The Ballad of Hanguang-Jun and The Yiling Patriarch by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 40k, WangXian, ChengQing, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Arc, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Humor, musical theater?, Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, Crack treated seriously) The commenter on 18 was thinking of The ballad of Hanguang-jun and the Yiling Patriarch, though idk if this is the fic OP wants

FOUND? i think its deleted? Have You Heard Of The Yiling Patriach by R_PONTS

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19. literally just reading a random wangxian fic when I I remembered this one fic I read a while ago. I can’t really remember a lot of details but from what I remember Wei ying is the cloud recess for whatever reason and he get the silencing spell out on him and he panicked and starts scratching and clawing at his throat and everybody’s watching horrified like please y’all help me remember 😭 @saintzx

FOUND?🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 56k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad) The clawing is because he's desperate to defend JC against LQR's (rightful) admonishing, after JYL told him he should've tried harder after being silenced on a previous occasion defending JC

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20. Hello

Love your blog!

A) I'm looking for a fic where wwx was raised by WRH, but it is introduced with him being the one to raze Cloud Recess and starting ti flirt with a prisoner LWJ who's very much " bro, wtf" in his inner monologue.

He's bff w Xye Yang and at one point thinks of doing lwj favors

B) Modern au where wwx and lwj had been married, adopted LSZ and then divorced due to someone either framing wwx or LWJs fam pressuring him to it. Wwx still has visitation rights and all, and at one point lwj buys them a house as an apology, but wwx is less than cash money above it, bcs lwj didn't truly fix the mistrust or whatever the reason for their breakup was @midnightlighthowlite

20B)

FOUND? 🔒 Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Therapy)

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21. Hello there, I’m not sure if this is a fic finder or an in the mood for, because I’m looking for a fic and more like that.

So you know how theres this TikTok Sound of someone called Nick who asks for the WLAN Password and its I Love You Nick and Nick is in a lot of denial about being lovers even though their anniversary is coming up?

I found a fic that was basically WY and LZ in a relationship, and WY/LZ (but more likely WY) didn’t realise that they were anything more than friends, and it was very funny.

More comedic than anything else. But I cannot for the life of me find it, and everytime I try and search for it, only the sad version shows up.

Please send help, I need to read this fluff….I crave it. @desperation-is-my-middle-name

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[daenysthedreamersblog]

SECRET OF US - IV

i miss you, im sorry

i don't wanna go, think i'll make it worse

everything i know brings me back to us

i don't wanna go, we've been here before

everywhere i go leads me back to you

masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

summary: being around coriolanus snow was like a forest fire, intense and heated, but can quickly turn out of control with a change of wind.

pairings: modern!coriolanus snow x reader

warnings: swearing, drinking

The temperature starts to decline, and so does whatever conversational habits had bloomed between you and Coriolanus. It isn't back to normal animosity, you had decided you wouldn't go back to typical hating him after all, but you aren't nearly as chatty as you usually have been. You blamed midterms, you blamed whatever happened that night, you blamed weak feeling slipping through the cracks confusing your thoughts and dreams. You hate that you wonder, you hate that there is an odd ache of longing for him, you hate that there is no hate no matter how hard you try to grasp at it.

Flickerman doesn't push the intimate scenes stating he's still busy figuring them out, but everything else is still business as usual, you look internally for gratitude but instead silence greets you and you are thankful for that at least as you try not to examine your feelings too closely.

You're heading to campus, stopping by the little coffee shop for a warmer drink when you see him standing in line on his phone. You pause, watching him through the window as your heart picks up its rhythm, willing, wanting him to see you.

He does. He picks his head up blue eyes meeting yours as your hand slowly rises in a small wave. The corner of his mouth ticks up as his hand mirrors yours and then you're tugging the door open to walk towards him. You think of a before, of a time you would have stuck your nose up and kept moving to avoid him, but that seemed long ago, in a different life.

"Hey," You say standing off to the side so people don't think you're cutting.

He looks down at you, "Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"Getting coffee," He motions to the barista at the register the condescending smirk on his lips.

You roll your eyes the heat in your cheeks from the wind, nothing more. "You know what I mean."

"I was heading to the library to study for my stats midterm." He responds.

"Yeah that one was a little rough." You nodded.

"Are you two done flirting with each other so we can order?" The man standing behind him bites out.

Coriolanus shoots him a look but his eyes soften when they turn back to you, "What do you want?"

"What?"

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?" He muses your hair, his hand lingering too long as it glides off of your head. "My treat." He motions to the menu, "If you tell me whats on the midterm."

You cross your arms, "No then you'll get a better grade than me."

"Exactly." He beams.

You tell him your order anyways, "I'm going to tell you everything thats not on there."

He pays for both drinks and moves to the side while they're being made. "I can work with that."

"Cheater."

He pokes your nose, "Work smarter not harder kitten." He glanced at the door, "Where were you headed?"

"Poli-sci midterm." They call his name sliding both drinks across the counter for you to take.

Coriolanus Snow smiled, more to himself, "You'll do fine." It actually sounded genuine, a tone that surprised was directed at you. Then you're walking down the sidewalk together towards campus, "Any big plans for the holidays?"

"When have you ever cared?" You scoff sipping your warm drink.

"Since your spit was almost in my mouth."

You cringe, "Gross, don't say it like that." It almost distracts you from the original question...almost. You sigh, "Probably staying here."

"Did you do something to piss your father off?" He chuckled to himself.

You glare at him, "I hate that you know so much about my family."

He only smirks deeper, "No you don't." He takes a step sideways, closer to you, his knuckle brushes against yours accidentally causing yours to twitch towards his in response. "Also, I know you go on the offensive when you're avoiding questions."

You shove him with your shoulder to break the connection, "So, what's your grand plans for the holiday Snow?" His face falls, eyes overshadowed by overwhelming grief.

"I have to go." He's off before you can stop him, before you can pull back the words that had set him off. You don't know why, it's not like you had ever cared for hurting each other's feelings, but you can't shake the look on his face, you can't shake the sympathy.

You sit outside your classroom after the test staring at old pictures on his page once again; pictures of him and Sejanus. He had been an orphan for most of his life, fostered with his cousin Tigris with various family members. Then suddenly The Plinth's had adopted him, taken him in like a second son, then Sejanus had died. You only knew part of the story, only parts you heard through other people, and now you knew he had gone to military camp for some reason after Sejanus had died.

You trace his name on the empty coffee cup you were still holding.

You're moving before you realize, before you can let reason stop you from making your way to the library. He's still there thankfully, hunched over a notebook writing things out a stray curl loose against his forehead. He brushes it back as he glances up at you.

"We have this dinner." You say coming around to stand in front of him. "My friends and I...we have this dinner and spend the holiday together." You toy with the wood on the chair avoiding looking at him. After everything, after every hurtful word and angry stare, after the party and the alley and his apartment, you should not let the words leave your mouth. "You should come." You meet his hard gaze watching his jaw tighten, "Or don't, it's up to you. You know where to find me." Then you're leaving before anything else can come from the conversation, from the invitation you left open

"You've grown soft in your old age." Clemensia shakes her head at you as you help her place plates down.

He had texted you later that night asking for the time and place of the dinner ending the conversation at that not hearing much since. "He doesn't have anyone else."

"You don't know that." She looks up at you eyes narrowing remembering your long rant regarding Livia Cardew, "Something's changed between you two."

You chuckle to hide the flush forming in your cheeks, "Did Arch tell you about my dream?"

Clemensia gasp, "No, but now I know something is definitely going on." You chew on your cheek staring down at the place setting unable to think too much on the statement. "Be careful, you two have always shared a similar...fire." She comes around the table running a soothing hand down your arm, "I don't want you to get burned by his." She drops her hand, "Is you mother devastated you're not going home?"

You're thankful for the change in subject. "Yes."

"Why don't you tell her? Tell both of them?" She goes to the kitchen grabbing the dish she had made to move it to the center of the table.

"It wouldn't do any good." There's a knock on the door cutting off any further deep dive into you familial ties. You knew your mother was upset, you knew it the minute you had turned off your phone to avoid her texts. You're not even sure how to phrase it to her, to them, how you didn't want what they wanted for you anymore. And it wouldn't do good at all, that much was true, your father would have none of your feelings, your self doubts. He wouldn't care for what you wanted at all. You greet your friends watching as they add their dishes to the table grabbing their various drinks and taking up unoccupied seats.

You can't help but glance at the door, waiting and waiting for someone you had once wished would never come. Maybe he had decided not to come after all, he never really had given you a definitive answer. You try not to let it effect you even as your head whips around at the sound of an additional knock. You glance around the room, at ever accounted body, and stand up to open the door yourself.

He stares down at you in the doorframe, "You didn't answer my message."

"I uh..." You close your eyes and open them again trying to shake the warm feeling blooming in your chest. "I turned my phone off." You allow him to step into the apartment closing the door behind him, "What did it say?"

"I asked if you needed anything while I was at the store." He sets the brown paper bag down. "I got you wine anyways." He hands you the bottle.

You trace the label, it was a favorite of yours, "Thank you." You motion to the cabinet, "I'll get us some glasses, you can sit next to me." You turn to head into the kitchen hearing various mutual friends saying hello to him, even Arachne's sly voice being cordial with him. You smiled to yourself as you opened the bottle realizing you could get used to the mingling voices. You pour it out into two glasses and walk them back towards the table.

You avoid his hand ghosting your back, avoid it guiding you into your chair. He rest it on the back of your chair strands of hair caught between fingers as his thumb twitches forward. His knee brushes against yours as you settle in; it was a small space, nothing more, yet it isn't jerked away, its heat sneaking into your thigh. Everyone eats, everyone laughs, the room filled with warmth and joy and everything a family was supposed to consist of. You steal a glance at him over the rim of your glass seeing a genuine soft smile on his lips.

"What?" He asked, catching you in the act of staring at him.

"Nothing," You shake your head chuckling to yourself.

He smirks leaning towards you, "Tell me what's so funny about my face kitten."

You take a breath, eyes fluttering around his pretty blue ones, "I'm just...thankful." He snorts pulling back, "I'm thankful for our mutual truce." Something flashes across his face, you can't read it, and then its gone as he looks away from you, only to turn back with a familiar cold expression.

"I'll add your white flag to my collection."

You laugh humorlessly, "You mean your shrine." It has always been difficult with him, always trying to one up the other, but now things seemed simple, quiet acts of joy instead of cruelty for the sake of cruelness.

The rest of the dinner is filled with casual conversation and a gentle flow of soft laughter. He seemed to be enjoying himself enough that you two are amongst the last to leave. "Thank you for dinner Clemmie." He tugs on his coat.

"Thanks for the snake," Her painted nails hold the door for the two of you. "I sleep with it every night."

He smirks, "As long as you're thinking of me."

"You're a shameless flirt Coriolanus Snow." She rolls her eyes, "Get her home safe please."

He glances at you, "Always do."

You waved goodbye to her and walk out together heading out into the chilly night. "Why didn't Arachne go home, she's always had a nice family."

"They weren't too happy when she came out a few years ago." You frowned hands stuck in your coat pockets. "They're better now, but things are still a little tense."

He shook his head, "And you? Are things tense?" Your jaw sets as you refuse to answer, he didn't need to know everything. He pushes anyways, "Oh come on I know your parents, I met them on all those little events at Academy. They adore you."

"Adore what they've made of me." You mutter.

"What do you mean?"

You shake your hair out. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Is this why you're having an existential crisis on docks?" He scoffs. "You're so spoiled."

You stop on the sidewalk the door to your apartment a few meters away. "Excuse me."

He stops too heaving a breath towards the sky like he too didn't want to have this conversation, like you were always destined to fight on concrete slabs. "I just mean they've given you everything you've every wanted and you're upset about it."

"Maybe I didn't want it." You cross your arms.

"Didn't want what exactly?" He turns towards you, "A family? Money? Success no matter what?"

You grid your teeth, he made you sound so shallow. "You don't know anything about me."

"Oh yeah?" He takes a step closer, "I know your father is an important man and he wanted you to follow in his footsteps like a little puppet." Another step closer to you, "And you fucking hate that you're so good at it, that your perfect life will always be his." He looms over you, "I know you better than you know yourself."

It flies out of your mouth before you can catch it, "What's your story then? The Plinths stop feeling sorry for you and finally kicked you out?" His foot falters backwards shock crossing over his face at your harsh words, "I-I'm-I shouldn't have-!"

He takes a step back the air so much colder now, "No." He laughs, it's a cruel sound that cuts deep. "That's who you are isn't it, I knew that, always have." He stares forward, gaze empty. "Your father raised you as vicious as him, power hungry and armed to the teeth like a little viper."

"Aren't you the same?" You stare at his face while he stares at nothing. "Just as loathsome and lonely as I?"

His eyes quiver as he finally meets your gaze, "I don't need your pity."

Your eyes flicker around his angry face, "I don't pity you."

He glares down at you. "Then stop trying to be my friend, stop trying to care when we both know the only thing you care about is yourself and your shallow little life."

"That isn't true." It's a whisper, you hate the sinking feeling in your chest, and yet you had only cared about your life until...until...

"Just because I bought you some coffees, and took you to a party doesn't mean anything." He seethes, the white flag up in glorious flames around the pair of you. "You are nothing to me."

You swallow, throat dry. You will not cry in front of him of all people, so you dig your heels something familiar. "Like I care what I am to you." You spit out taking a step closer so he can soak up every hateful word. "You want to know what I truly hate? You, Snow, you." You go to turn, purse tucked tight against you. "Once this play is over I'll be happy to never see you again." Evil words sat on your tongue, evil vicious words that would poison a soul; you can't bring yourself to say them, and maybe that was pity. You walk away before you could sink you teeth in to rip apart his frosted heart.

You don't really see him the rest of the semester, it was for the best anyways as you focused on finals. It wouldn't be strange, to fall back into the pattern of glaring and undermining him, but for some reason you don't think you would have been able to.

You don't think on the why.

He claimed to be sick, avoiding rehearsals and stating he would be back when the semester started up again.

You don't hear anything from him, not through any of your friends, he had blocked you on social media finally cutting of any form of communication. It was fine. You didn't need him in your life, but you couldn't deny the want of his presence there, and that doesn't seem right at all.

"I wish you could have come home honey." Your mom says on the other line. "They decorations were so nice, I'll send you some pictures." She sighed, "Your father is upset, he was throwing this party to help you network and-!"

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "I know mom, but I have this big project I need to work on."

She doesn't even think on the lie you tell her, "Oh we understand, we just miss you, and you father wants you to do well." Her tongue clicks, "Oh and did you get his email about those internships?"

"Yes." You mute yourself before you sigh letting her ramble on with the speech your father gave her, he always used her to get through to you. There's a knock on the door though and you clicked the unmute button, "Hey I have to go, can I call you tomorrow?"

"Of course," You hear her smile, "And happy new years honey, we love you."

"Love you." You hang up going over towards your door to peer out of the peep hole. No one is there. You shrug, well it was a good excuse to get off the phone.

There's another knock, slower, lazier. You stomp back over and fling it open. "This isn't fu-!" He's slouched against your doorframe sitting on the hallway ground. "What are you doing here?"

He hiccuped, "You're so lame spending the holiday alone kitten." He hadn't spoken to you in weeks, he cut you off and avoided you and now he had the audacity to show up drunk on your doorstep to add insult to injury. You go to slam the door on him, but he shoves his foot through to stop it, "Ouch." He peers up at you, eyes red rimmed and lost. "So cruel to me."

"What do you want Snow?"

"Some water." He's wasted and you decide to be nice despite it all. You help him up and into your apartment. He stumbles onto your couch while you grab him some water. "I unblocked you." He rest his head on the back of the couch staring at the ceiling. "You never messaged me."

You hand him the water, "What would I have said?"

He smirks at you taking the glass. "That you miss me."

You take a seat on your coffee table across from him, "I didn't miss you."

"Liar."

You glared at him, "You were rude to me, why would I miss you."

He gives you a lazy smile, "You're so pretty when you glare at me."

"You're obliterated." You scoff standing up and going to your pantry to find food to sober him up. "Where were you tonight anyways?" You ask pulling out bread to make a sandwich, but he never responds and when you turn around he isn't on your couch. You glance at the still locked door, then down the hallway towards your bedroom. You hurry down the hall spotting him standing at your bedside flipping through the book on your nightstand.

He glances up at you, "I recommended this book in class." He shook the title at you, "And you said I was stupid to even think it was a good book." You watch him approach you, "Yet here it is on your nightstand. I know you've read it before, can tell by all the annotations, the crinkles in the pages, the cracks in the spine. I know you're reading it now from the bookmark tucked away on page 314."

He's in front of you, too close and you gape up at him. "I-uh..." You had no explanation besides the truth; that you had picked it up to see for yourself after that class, and then again when his absence had filled your life. "Friends close, enemies closer thing," You throw his words back in his face.

"Back to enemies then?" He drunkenly chuckles swaying on his feet causing your hands to dart out to steady him. "Hm," He mumbles as your fingers twist into fabric gripping his sides to hold him up. "Cruel, wicked curse of mine."

"Why are you here?" You blinked up at him.

He stares down at you, "Would you even believe the truth?" You shake your head, so he sighed coming even closer, "You were right, I am just as loathsome and lonely as you."

His hand comes up to your face and all you can do is look at him, "I thought I was nothing." Your eyes flicker around his face, "I can't keep up with you."

"Then don't." His thumb strokes your cheek and its tender, too tender.

"Coriolanus." You breath up at him.

He tilts your face up the same time he leans his down towards yours. "You've never called me that before." He whispers, his breath fanning onto your face, you can taste the vodka he had drank, the faintest hint of cigarette smoke, the unknown shape of his name still tingling along your tongue. His lips are so close now, a featherlight touch against your own, and one inch closer would connect your mouth to his.

The book clatters out of his hand as he goes to hold the other side of your face, and you're stepping out of his hold clearing your throat. "I'll go get your water." You leave him there not even caring what else he could find in there as you go to get him water. He almost kissed you, you almost kissed him, even after every spewed venomous word that came out of the other's mouth. This was messy and chaotic and shouldn't be happening, but he tugs on something drawing you back to his wildfire. "Here." You pushed the door open to find him lying on your bed fast asleep.

You set the water on the bedside table anyways and go to leave when his hand wraps around your fingers. "I missed you." His voice is heavy with sleep, but you caught it. "You keep me warm."

"You could get burned." Your voice cracks remembering Clemensia's warning.

"Burn me." He tugs on your hand, "Burn me until I'm nothing but ashes."

You squeeze it once before letting go, "Goodnight Snow." He doesn't answer as you leave him alone in your dark room.

You don't sleep much, tossing and turning on your couch while he sleeps off the alcohol in your bed. You spend most of the night staring at your ceiling wondering how you had ended up here with him. You had hated him, you wanted nothing to do with him, and he had proven time and time again how much of that was true, and you knew you had done the same for him. But here the two of you were, almost kissing in your bedroom, and not for the play.

Blame the alcohol, always a good excuse.

He sleeps until the late afternoon coming out into the kitchen with sleep mused hair and his clothes on from yesterday. "You should have made me sleep on the couch." He tells you sleep still dragging his voice down a couple octaves.

"I tried." You smile sarcastically going to your cabinet to pull down a clean coffee mug.

"I shouldn't have come here." It isn't anger; it's guilt lacing his tone.

You pour coffee into the cup. "No you shouldn't have." You turned around sliding it across the island towards him. "Why did you?"

He doesn't look at you, just at the black swirling liquid in the cup. "I don't know." He does know, he had muttered it to you in the dark, and you wanted-needed to hear it in sober words. "I didn't mean what I said that night." He blinked up at you. "I was trying to hurt you."

The corners of you mouth turn up in surrender, "Isn't that what we do best?"

"You aren't shallow." His hand wraps around the mug pulling it closer. "You are not your father." His blue eyes quiver, "And you are not nothing to...you are not nothing."

You turn your back on him pretending to search through your cabinets for food, you didn't like the way he was looking at you, the way it made your insides twist, so you attempt to break up the mood. "I tend to say unkind things I don't mean as well. I'm a pain in the ass, your pain."

He chuckles, but it's weak and you avoid the urge to turn around to take in his facial expression. "Guess you are." You pull down bagels. "So...are we..." You slide four into the toaster. "Okay?"

"When have we ever been okay Snow?" You twist the sleeve back up. "We've been at each others throats since we met." You finally turn back around blue eyes meeting yours and your fickle heart thumps two extra beats at the lost expression there. "We're fine." You cup your own coffee in your hands, "Isn't that the glory of being enemies, we have seen that absolute worst side of each other."

He brings the mug to his lips, "Are we still enemies?"

The toaster dings, bagels popping up. "That's for me to know and you to find out." You turn back around gathering the food and setting it on plates. "Do you remember anything from last night?" You're stiff as you ask it, wondering if he remembered his lips so close to yours, the words he had spilled across bedsheets.

"No." He forces out a laugh, "Why did I say anything embarrassing?"

You wave your hand around lying through your teeth as you joke back. "Obviously just that I am the most amazing person ever and how I am so much more smarter than you." You turn back towards him sliding the plate across from him as you both wear mask; no one will surrender tonight leaving you two forever in this roundabout game. "Any big plans for tonight? Should I leave my door unlocked just in case?"

"No." He chuckles. "I was stupid last night, went to the bar and got even more stupid."

You chew through food. "On that we can agree." He stares down at his plate pushing it around before eating himself. You knew he was just going to go home to be alone again, you swallow. "Stay tonight." He blinks up at you, "I can make hot chocolate and we can watch cheesy holiday movies." You set your bagel down, "No one should be alone this time of year."

"Take your own advice kitten."

You glare, "I am Snow, that's why I am asking you." His eyes flicker around your face, you're so pretty when you glare at me. You relax your face remembering his words and wonder if he was too.

He mockingly sighed, "Fine only because you begged me to."

You shake your head fighting the smile as you continue to eat breakfast with him.

Soon enough under the cover of snowy darkness the two of you sit beneath separate blankets watching some of your favorite holiday movies with large cups of hot chocolate smothered in whipped cream. You're laughing, you're crying, you're having too much of a good time with someone you're supposed to dislike.

But it's beginning to become hard to dislike him, it's beginning to frustrate you how much you didn't dislike him as much as you should. He was cruel and cunning and everything you had always hated about power hungry men. You weren't that much different though as you suddenly were starting to see that.

It's why you began to distance yourself from your parents, noticing how you father was turning you just as cold as him, only allowing you to focus on one thing; remaining on top, destroying anyone close enough to you that could jeopardize that. You know you needed to continue the path he set for you in order to succeed, but the appeal was lackluster and you were resentful.

You glanced out of the window watching the snow fall silently outside.

"Do you like snow?"

You blink looking at him. "Hmm?"

"Snow?" He motioned outside. "Do you like it?"

You chuckled to yourself, "I guess so." You were standing up padding over to the large glass doors to open up onto the balcony. "I like when it makes the world so quiet." You lean against the railing closing your eyes listening to nothing as the snow trickles down to the cement below. Your fingers were chilling as they held onto the frozen railing, but you didn't mind, just a little while longer. He slides next to you, "We never did normal things." You stare out into the world, "Never went ice skating, or made gingerbread houses." You met his blue eyes, "Watched holiday movies together. He never had time." You scoffed shaking your head, "Always dragged us around to parties and events."

"A company ski trip." He nudged you.

"Don't remind me." You rolled your eyes enjoying his warm shoulder remaining pressed into yours. "Some parts were fun." You nodded, "But I think I just craved normalcy, emotionally present parents, I don't know, a father who didn't view me as a pawn." You cringed at yourself looking down, "I do sound spoiled."

"No." His voice was so soft you don't dare look up. "It's okay to be upset they weren't there for you in ways you needed." He nudged you again, gentle this time. "Even if you got everything else you wanted."

You sighed, "Maybe I need to move on from it all, stop holding a grudge over something so silly."

He doesn't answer for a while forcing you to finally look up at him. "It's not silly."

"How is Tigris?" You force the change in subject.

"She's good...really good." He smiled to himself, "Thinking about opening up her own store, launching a new line in a few weeks, all the cool stuff."

You smile with him pinkie twitching towards his against the railing. "That's awesome for her."

His eyes lower taking in your face, your lips. "You have..." He brings his hand up thumb brushing off whatever was there. "Whip cream." He whispered out fingers still under your jaw holding your face.

"Thanks." You breath.

Your heart is pounding in your chest, skin too hot for the frigid temperatures as he gazes down at you, as he caresses your flushed face. It felt too intimate for this without the buffer of alcohol, the buffer of a play. You were here alone with him in the snow while the sound of holiday music floated outside from the movie playing on your television. He turns his body completely towards you tilting your face up so much that you have to turn as well. He cups your face, you lean into it,

"Coriolanus." You sigh hand gently wrapping around his wrist to touch him, stop him, stop yourself.

His grip tightened, "Don't." He isn't angry, he's conflicted. "Don't say my name like that." His other hand is on your waist, "You test my patience enough as it is."

"What do you want?"

He leans down, nose brushing yours. "To stop feeling this way, to know it doesn't always lead to ruin."

Your brows furrow, "Am I truly so horrible?"

"No." He breaths you in, the only thing separating your lips. "Gods no."

"We..." You swallow down the overwhelming urge to connect your mouth to his. "We should go back inside."

He nods, but doesn't move. "We should." He licked his lips, "You were always the stronger one."

You hated that it was true as you slowly peel yourself away from him. Your brain feels muddled and consumed by him as you walk back into your too warm apartment. He closes the balcony door with a soft click the room tense with unsaid words. You have too much to say, to ask; why, why now, when, is this real or a game? You don't ask it, you can't, you can't formulate words as your heart throbs for the man you had always loathed.

But why? Why did you hate him? You suddenly couldn't remember the reason behind such intense emotions. You can't remember much besides the feel of his breath on your lips, his hand on your waist, how much you wanted to kiss him.

You were lonely, simply lonely from the holidays and not thinking straight, blurring the lines between reality and fiction of theater. You didn't like him, you couldn't. He and Clemensia were right, it would all be ruin and flames.

You take your spot back on the couch the energy shifting between the two of you, suddenly too aware of how close he sat down on the same couch. "I never thanked you for letting me come to your dinner party."

"What are friends for?"

He smirked, "So, friends now?"

You rolled your eyes, "Don't make it such a big deal Snow."

"Coryo," He sighs, "Call me Coryo, you always use Snow when you're scolding me."

You softly smile, "Okay...Coryo."

You didn't mind the taste of it on your tongue.

endnotes: omgggg what yall feeling so farrr hehehe

chapter 5 coming soon!

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons

# modern au. im in luv with her. this is so long oh my god its an illness

did karate from 1st grade all the way up to high school and basically considers herself your bodyguard

immediately offers you her hoodie without a second thought when you show the slightest signs of being cold. she lets you keep it too, of course. what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t ???!!!!

she needs either your hands on her or her hands on you at all times. sosososo touchy and BIG on pda her kisses are inescapable. constantly has an arm around you or resting on your waist… the whole world needs to know. she’s actually insufferable i’m sorry but in the most endearing way ever how can you resist

“would you still love me if i was a ____???” she wants a serious answer too

genuinely thinks ur the prettiest person alive. which is kind of the bare minimum but she worships you truly

happy with any sort of date as long as it’s with you. fancy dinner? this is the only reason she keeps a suit and tie. staying in? what movie do you want, babe? running errands? she’s already waiting for you in the car!!!

speaking of cars she drives an old station wagon which used to be joel’s. ellie used to moan about how lame it was until you said that the back was perfect for sitting together during camping or stargazing…. and other activities too ;) wink wonk

gets flustered when she makes you flustered because you’re telling her that SHE did that?? she made u nervous??? shit man now shes blushing too

her love language is gifts she loves to spoil you with your favourite snacks and soft toys and even homemade gifts. she just wants you to see her in your room and have her on your mind as much as you’re in hers!!

it’s no secret that she’s an artist and it’s also no secret that her favourite subject to draw is youuu!!! her favourite thing to do is just have you sit across from her and draw what she sees

of course naturally that means she takes tons of pictures of you… to study for her drawings… and keep in her special photo album of you… and to look at when she misses you. Ofc

makes fun of you/teases you sometimes. she can be a mean bitch to other people but she would never actually hurt your feelings and you know that

ellie hates goodbyes. even if it’s after spending a full day together and you’re going to see her soon anyways… i just know she’s the kind of person who feels empty after hanging out with someone.

calls and texts about everything… and it’s always so cute :( she definitely has autocaps on

ellie: I drew you again!!

ellie: Hey babe I saw this funny bird it reminded me of u

ellie: I miss you so much. When can I see you again?

ellie: These cats r like us lol

keeps a pet gecko or something like that for sure. it’s you guys’ baby

her top two movie genres are horror and romance after that. the only reason romance is that high up is because it reminds her of you

does stupid romcom shit like hold a boombox outside your window. makes you mixtapes even though CDs are basically extinct (joel has a player thank god). corny pickup lines. asks you to be her valentine publicly. runs to your house in the rain. dances with you in said rain.

when she gets sick it’s like the end of the world omg… she needs u to be at her side 24/7 and hold her and keep her company and give her get well soon kisses, it’s essential to her recovery. doctors orders. he said it not her!

gets along so well with your friends and family. she does her research and takes this shit seriously! whatever it takes to make you happy because what’s better than watching your girlfriend get along with the people you love

she also takes her own family seriously - family time is important to her and she spends a lot of time with joel. it’s even better when you can join, some of her best memories are with the two of you

“i’m happy as long as you’re happy”

pet names galore. her personal favourite is just babe (classic) but when she likes others too (sweetheart, honey, darling etc she’s so cheesy it’s awful)

in conclusion she’s just a clingy sappy lesbian who’s absolutely head over heels for you. and you wouldn’t have it any other way <33

bonus: (these tweets that are so ellie)

[grecoromanyaoi]

helloo since we're on the topic: top historical fiction (or adjacent) ? can be any time period I just really love your taste in shows/games/etc and am always on the lookout for history inspired media !

thank you!!! im rly glad im like. inspiring other ppl to engage w things im insane abt hudofajsdfdassfsad. anyways. i will probably expand that list bc i literally forgot every single thing i ever read. also i havent watched that many movies so far

ancient times: i havent really watched a lot of movies/series set in ancient times so far :(

rome HBO (2005-2007) (tv series) - OF COURSE. i personally think its one of the best series ever made. they combine political, miliatry history with the lives of every day people in an incredible way. they never let you once engage with the series through modern lenses. according to my teacher (a historian, archeologist & self described 'romaphile') its incredibly historically accurate, mostly the clothing, set designs, characterization, military practices, etc. except for the things they straight up made up, of course.

i really enjoyed gladiator (2000), i think its a masterpiece.

prince of egypt (1998) i guess?

all the asterix movies of course, all the animated ones and most of the live actions. but i wouldnt really call it historical fiction

ok i havent actually finished watching it for now but sebastiane (1976) - an erotic, x rated, gay interpretation of the martyrdom of st sebastian. its in latin also.

wait i cant believe i forgor about assassin's creed odyssey - so far the only one ive played. its so fun and incredibly immersive visually. especially pour moi who cries into the pillow about how ill never experience the ancient world. also you can b a faggot which is always fun. i have things to say about their portrayal of same-sex sexuality and slavery in classical greece but i get why they did that considering its supposed to like. appeal to a lot of people, and a more "historically accurate" portrayal (for example of pederasty or how common slavery was etc.) would b v difficult for a lot of their target audience. alas.

medieval and early modern era:

the name of the rose (1986) - my medieval history teacher literally showed us bits of this movie to teach us about monasteries and monks fhdosiasdjasd.

the borgias (2011-2013) - incredibly messy, lots of political intrigue, and so so fun to watch. about the history of the borgia family. filled to the brim with drama.

the three musketeers (1993) - my favorite adaptation, also coincidentally the one i grew up on. casting tim curry as richelieu was genius. he slays so hard.

i also like bbc's the musketeers (2014-2016) - a neat little series. very fun and entertaining to watch.

outlaw king (2018) - like i dont think most ppl heard of this movie. its about robert the bruce's fight to reclaim the throne of scotland. starring chris pine

vikings (2013-2020) - its fun. i havent watched the entire series tho. dont expect anything resembling historical accuracy

the northman (2022) - you will see something resembling historical accuracy

mihai viteazul (michael the brave) (1971) - a fun movie. very much romanian propaganda tho.

1670 (2023-) - such a fun series!!! incredible cast, shows respect to the actual history and the lives of historical people. really cute and funny.

caravaggio (1986) - a biopic about caravaggio.

wait i also forgor about pentiment - an intriguing, immersive, and incredibly beautiful video game! it has a lot of 'the name of the rose' vibes, with it being a medieval murder mystery taking place in a monastery. its incredibly touching and made me cry, and in the last few years i very rarely cry. also im 99% sure its an indie game? go support the creators!

vaguely-medieval/early modern fantasy:

mirror mirror (2012) - a retelling of snow white. a very fun movie imo, with incredible costume design. julia roberts plays the evil queen and she SLAYS. armie hammer is unfortunately in that movie.

stardust (2007) - one of my fave movies growing up. more modern-inspired but still.

the green knight (2021) - controversial i know but i actually loved this movie! i liked it both as a standalone movie but moreso as a 21st century adaptation to sir gawain and the green knight.

galavant (2015-2016) - !!!!!!! one of the most series ever! they manage to tackle such difficult concepts and conversations with a hilarious wit. so fun to watch. i listen to a lot of the songs still, and rewatch every once in a while.

disenchantment (2018-2023) - very fun to watch, especially the first season.

i also really liked the novel uprooted by naomi novik. its a polish-inspired fantasy.

modern era:

killers of the flower moon (2023) - of course. a masterpiece

aferim! (2015) - a romanian movie set in 19th century wallachia, about two officers, a father and son, who were sent by a nobleman to retrieve an escaped enslaved romani man. a lot of the people in the comments were calling the movie humorous and funny, maybe im missing smth (as im watching with subtitles n dont understand the original language) but it was a very difficult watch for me??

the handmaiden (2016) - need i say more

black sails (2014-2017) - a prequel to the famous novel 'treasure island'. not an easy series to watch. incredibly good.

the favourite (2018) - need i say more pt 2

the rabbi's cat (le chat du rabbin) (2011) - animated movie set in early 20th century algeria. a rabbi's cat learns to talk overnight.

the nice guys (2016) - a fun murder mystery set in the 1970s

o brother, where art thou (2000) - a retelling of the odyssey set in the southern us in the 1930s

victor/victoria (1982) - set in early 20th century paris. julie andrews pretends to be a man and takes on a job as a drag queen. extremely fun, extremely gay movie.

lady chatterley's lover (2022) - very much porn for moms but it was a nice watch imo

amulet (2020) - set in like. idk. sometime in the 20th century. this is a horror movie, deals a lot with misogyny, sa, and so on. i really like it, personally. a lot of people, mostly weird men, dont tho.

the great (2020-2023) - i have mixed feelings about this show. on the one hand, its really fun to watch. on the other hand, its basically ofmd for girls who have public mental breakdowns whenever someone claims corsets were oppressive. and theyre so weird about russians, jesus christ.

disses:

domina (2021-) - i just couldnt get into it, esp since i tried right after finishing rome hbo. it was kind of silly, and not in a good way. takes itself wayyyy to seriously.

i didnt like spartacus (2010-2013) - the dialogue was almost grotesque and the editing, especially the transitions, straight up killed me

damsel (2024) - holy fuck what a trainwreck of a movie. absolute waste of angela basset and robin wright. the only good thing were the costumes.

lancelot du lac (1974) - i just didnt like it at all. couldnt get into it. i guess it was way too french and artsy fartsy for me. a movie that was trying to say both too little and too much at the same time.

i didnt rly like bram stoker's dracula (1992) - i mean. it was a fine movie. it was definitely not the godfather. the movie itself was meh. the visuals tho? absolutely stunning

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

reasons for you to watch this weird modern take on macbeth set in a michelin star restaurant include

witches arguing about how to properly pluralize “haggis”

raw flesh imagery via the butchery of raw meat in the kitchen being used to represent offscreen gore

tasteful bloodcovered nudity

the inversion of the sanctity of the meal

women being allowed to ugly-cry with horrible snot noises and all

men being allowed to ugly-cry with pained whimpers and all

a dare to lick someone

motif of the blind trust of animals, leading the lamb to the slaughter

dumb etymology jokes

hands. holding them, patching them up after injury, frantically scrubbing blood off of them

macbanquo is canon

im not kidding

yes lady mac and banquo’s families are still there but that’s because this is a polycule

unfortunately the polycule is doomed because SOMEONE had to go mad with power

weirdest film I’ve seen in a while. i loved it. is it good? I legitimately cannot tell. anyway go watch shakespearetold: macbeth

[thegradus2]

Im having modern day au alver x ogcale thoughts :,)

The setting is sort of like a earth 1’s korea except the catalysm happened waaaaay before like decades before, so fighting the monsters is way easier and more normal tho its still considered really hard and dangerous work (barely any deaths anymore but injuries are p common)

The soos all work at the company together. Cale (22 yrs old) is estranged from his family and also works at the company (hes happy to watch his little brother and little sister succeed from afar). Cale and kim rok soo constantly get compared bc theyre both serious and hard workers who tell people all the time that they wanna quit/slack off (they will never actually quit or slack off). Bc cale isnt actually in his familys life anymore he doesnt need to pretend to be trash and hes smiley like when hes krs in canon

Bc kim rok soo isnt as traumatized as in canon from losing his only friends he manages to make more friends (taylor sten, cage, eruhaben, he obvs manages to find his kids, choi han is also here and not as traumatized he just got kidnapped by monsters for like 10 years and is back home now, the whale tribe the wolf tribe the jungle queen the- you get the point. Kim rok soo is basically the companys information network at this point)

Idk if i should make krs and the other soos 36 etc still or if i should make them younger? (Like in late twenties, just a little older than when the soos minus krs died in the og timeline). In any case somehow its still cale nagging krs abt staying healthy and eating well and exercising, not the other way around

Maybe cale still has his adopted niece (aka reincarnated mom but ig he doesnt know that in this au)??

Alver (27 yrs old) has inherited his fathers trillion won company and is a repressed workaholic CEO (or maybe his father has a rlly succesful company and alver has become rlly succesful in politics instead?? Tho what ive seen the rlly succesful companies’ heirs in korea are lowkey treated with the same importance as a politician so it doesnt rlly matter)

Tasha pressures alver into taking 1 single day off. He obliges and almost gets assassinated by the mob (the white stars gang, and yes they do have powers). They decide to hire alver a specialized bodyguard. Cue the company: cale gets chosen as a guard while a few others (including kim rok soo) work on figuring out how to take out the white stars little group

Idk what power to give cale yet 👀 i wanna say either smth to do with time or smth to do with plants BUT i can also just give him both?? Or a power that combines the two?? I will look up symbolism to decide later lol

ANYWAY smiley bodyguard cale x repressed ceo alver. Cale falls first alver falls harder. Cale surprising alver with loyalty and cunning and with how he goes out of his way to take hits meant for alver. Alver being perfect and cale doing his best to goad alver into letting go of that mask every moment theyre alone

Multiple specific scenes im thinking:

- alver is goaded into taking a day off by tasha again a few months after the assassination attempt, this time with cale. They go to a café and have cutesy talks together (cale is just constantly being glib trying to trip alver up while alver is annoyed and into it)

- alver has to go to a high-end event. Cale comes with as his bodyguard/date (the date part is just a cover but they both wish it was real). They meet basen who is in complete and utter shock trying to hide it (he will do a full report back to the henituse family later)

- i need the company to go to a karaoke bar every friday bc i love karaoke. Cale sort of likes it and puts up minimal resistance every time. Kim rok soo does NOT want to go but he ends up napping the whole time every friday so its not that bad. During his bodyguard job with alver cale has to decline a few times. The company manages to wrangle cale into just bringing alver with him to karaoke (the repressed ceo of a trillion won company going to a shitty karaoke bar with a bunch of rowdy office workers/sort-of-soldiers is funny to me)

- at some point it gets serious and cale takes a bullet or otherwise rlly damaging attack that was meant for alver. He has to go to the hospital and alver realizes that oh shit its not a good idea to develop feelings for someone whos job it is to take bullets for you. And then he realizes of shit i developed feelings wtf??? And then he thinks i should stop feeling this way. And then he looks at cale again, whos passed out in the hospital bed and hes like im not gonna be able to stop feeling this way, am i. Fuck. Shit. Damnit

- they have a summer wedding 🥰

- neither of them are even involved w the white star mob. They just suddenly get a call from krs like “hi. I did the job. The others want me to tell you that im in the hospital btw.” Cale and alver visit him in the hospital and cale comforts krs by saying “dw, one day youll have your farm with the other two idiots. One day. Maybe.”

- that one scene in adventure time with bonnie and marcy and bonnie leans against marcy and closes her eyes and is like “wake me up in like 20 minutes.” Them. Them. Them. Them-

- cale slowly connecting with his family after him and alver met basen at that one event. First its deruth just calling (most painful and awkward phone call in the world where deruth very obviously avoids talking abt anything important and cale is just too confused abt why hes calling to pick up on any of it.) Then basen and lily start texting him. Then lily just shows up at his house to visit. It all snowballs from there with just little awkward moments of the family trying to rebuild a bridge with cale and cale just being confused abt what they want from him and why theyd wanna see him (its bc they love him bc hes family and theyre worried abt him)

- eventually deruth visits his house in person. This is also the moment where they finally actually have The Emotions and deruth acknowledges the abandonment and emotional neglect and cale confesses it was all an act but that he also actually thought they really didnt want him and that he thought he was ruining his fathers perfect new family with his presence and that he got rid of himself bc he thought it would make them happier

- cale goes to therapy.png. The family rejoices. The company also rejoices. The company stops rejoicing when he starts badgering everyone else to also get therapy (they really really all need it)

- the confession happens after cale isnt alvers bodyguards anymore. Cale has managed to talk alver into meeting every week at alvers place and just talking or playing chess or whatever they feel like doing. Theyre just doing their weekly catching up and cale is being especially wonderful talking abt his kid and alver being especially sleepdeprived just kisses him right on the mouth. He immediately backtracks and tries to be glib abt it like “im so sorry i dont know what came over me-“ but cale just kisses him back and then the next scene they wake up no clothes in bed together. They have been pining for at least a year by this point they deserve this

- alver goes to therapy after they officially get together bc cale pushed him to. It actually helps a little??? He is absolute shit abt opening up but the therapist has some generic tips abt managing his overworking problem

- most of the groomsmen/bridesmaids (or groomsmaids??) are part of the company. Tasha is alvers maid of honor. Basen is cales groomsman or honor or however the hell thats called lol. Cales niece is the flower girl and raon is the ringbearer. Cales family is there and robbit and his wife are there too + obvs alvers maternal family.

- summer wedding

Ok this is all for now