#anyways i'm kind of going crazy because i need to know more about this shitshow of an election

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

My other theme this week is actually based on a quote from one of your recent posts! It’s “the gentlest futures” - one story where Buck’s going a bit crazy trying to guarantee those futures for everyone he loves and another where he’s already built his own!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ (seeing the end chapter count on this story kind of broke my brain! But it definitely fit the vibe of the last chapter - sad about an ending but so grateful for the experience! Loving these last snippets though! Seeing them all thriving in their new roles and still being a family - it’s so beautiful! And watching Buck realize he doesn’t need to hold on so tight to the 118 because he’s never being abandoned again - love that for him!!)

⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️ (oh boy Buck didn’t anyone ever tell you not to make deals with sketchy supernatural authorities? I’m definitely worried about him but it is very on brand for him to sacrifice his sanity and soul to keep the people he loves safe. I love it! And I’m very intrigued by the nullification clause - a way for the whole curse to be gone huh? Interesting…)

- PCA <3

Oh I love this!!! Great theme.

123 or 1k for ⚡️(yeah! Can't believe I really made it to the end, and I'm glad it feels like it's wrapping up in an okay place):

---

“Buckley’s still here,” Bowman says to Hen. He snorts. “That’s a shame.”

So that’s how it’s going to be, then? They couldn’t have just ignored each other? Like professionals? 

“Firefighter Buckley is a valued member of this team,” Hen fires back. And he loves her. He really does. But nothing she says to him is going to matter, when it comes to Buck. He has it out for Buck and he doesn’t respect Hen. They just need to try to get through this day with as few casualties as possible. 

This endeavor proves to be a challenge. For one, the rescue itself is getting harder the longer it goes on. The people inside are struggling. For another, Bowman loudly disagrees with Hen’s slow but steady method of evacuation. They can knock a hole in the wall and pray, but it’s a load bearing wall and the house is already collapsing. The victims could be killed in seconds. Hence Hen’s plan to stabilize what they can before sawing a small, precise gap in the wall. They can hear the victims inside. Communicate through knocks and shouts. They know they have time. 

Bowman also knows they have time. That doesn’t seem to matter to him, though. 

“The quicker we get out of this shitshow, the better,” he grits, before instructing his crew to ignore Hen’s orders and knock down the wall anyway. 

Buck has never seen anything like it, honestly. Just flagrant disregard for procedure. He may have more seniority than Hen, but she’s in charge of this scene. Eddie’s in charge of the whole damn thing. And Eddie told Bowman to assist the 118. Assist. Not take over. 

A few of the 114 firefighters look hesitant for a second. Unsure of the protocol. 

“Absolutely do not do that!” Hen says. She radios to Eddie. Explains what’s happening. Her voice is frantic. 

But they do. They do it. And despite the 118’s best efforts to reduce the damage and rescue the victims, one of them dies. 

☆☆☆

It’s a hard night. An impossible one. 

Neither Eddie or Buck seem to know how to move forward from today’s events. They both feel horrible. Drained. Defeated. They both feel guilt, even though there is a clear culprit. Captain Bowman. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Yardley tells him afterwards, as they are sifting through so much paperwork Eddie’s vision starts to blur. “You did everything right, and a seasoned fire captain made a very bad call. You couldn’t and shouldn’t have anticipated that.”

Well, he might have. He’s heard all about what kind of man Bowman is. But Buck never had a bad word to say about his endangering people’s lives. It always sounded to Eddie that he was just a bully. Which sucks, but… Well, this is something more than that. 

“And, Eddie,” Yardley continues. “Even if we couldn’t point the blame at one person… These are the sort of calls you’ll be on from here on out. They aren’t routine. People will die. And most of the time it won’t be on you. Do the best you can, and start counting the people that survive.”

And though Eddie knows it’s good advice, he doesn’t quite feel it. 

“We saved fifty-seven residents today, Eddie,” Yardley says. 

And it should have been fifty-eight. 

“You’re right,” Eddie says.

When he goes home, Buck is in an even worse state. He’s scraped and bruised all over. He’s changed into warm clothes, and has wrapped himself in a blanket. He’s clearly still feeling the residual cold of the water. Eddie gets that. He was cold for a long time after the well. When Eddie finds him, he’s sitting up in bed, watching television. Brooke is asleep on his chest and he’s stroking her hair. Soothing himself, more than her, Eddie thinks. 

“Hi,” Eddie says softly, dropping his bag on the floor and walking to the bed to kiss them both on their respective foreheads.

“Hey,” Buck whispers back.

“Where’s Chris?” Eddie asks. 

“Friend’s house,” Buck says. “He begged. Thought it might be better anyway, tonight.”

“Which friend?”

“Duncan.”

“Is that the one with the ugly dogs?” Eddie asks.

Buck snorts. “They’re boxers. They’re sweet.”

“They’re hideous, but sure.”

Buck rolls his eyes. They’ve had this argument before. Eddie knows he’s right. Even Chris says they’re annoying. 

“You okay?” Eddie asks. He walks away from the bed to change into sweats and a tank top. He’s not as cold as Buck. He didn’t spend very much time in the water.

Buck shrugs. “I feel awful.”

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie says. “There’s going to be an investigation into Bowman.”

“Hen wondered,” Buck mutters.

“She okay?” Eddie asks. 

“She’s pissed.” 

“No kidding,” Eddie sighs.

“I don’t get it y’know?” Buck says.

“Which part?” Eddie asks. “Because we already knew he was an ass by how he treated you.”

“Yeah, but…” He sighs. “Okay, when Bobby fired me-”

“Still hilarious, by the way,” Eddie says.

“When Bobby momentarily let me go, he said he didn’t think I understood how lucky I was to be a firefighter,” Buck says. “And to some degree, he was right. I’ve never been as stupid as Bowman, but I didn’t get it as much, then.”

---

96 for ⚖️ (Nullification clause will be important!):

---

No. He’s not. He’s obviously fucking not. This is going to be the rest of his life, and he’s going to be miserable, and Eddie can say all he wants about things being okay, but he doesn’t even want Buck like this. He made that clear. So nothing is going to be okay for Buck. That was the whole point of this, right? Nothing will be okay for Buck. It’ll be okay for everyone else. 

“Just make it through the call,” Eddie says.

But it won’t end, then. It’ll never end. Maybe Billy Boils’ friends had the right idea, ensuring he’d be sent to the gallows. 

Luckily, the call takes them towards two of the ten guests Buck could single out for punishment. Meaning, he can do it. He just needs a second. It’ll make some of this pressure go away. Give him some relief. He needs that. He needs that, and then he can focus on his job.

The scene in the penthouse is sort of absurd. It’s a dual-story suite. There’s a balcony from the upper level overlooking the living area. One of the police officers on the scene explains what has happened. Two brothers, twin sons of a wealthy businessman with quite the social media following built for themselves, are staying here. The one brother has pushed the other over the balcony, where he landed directly on a glass table below. There’s a lot of blood and agonized moaning. 

The unharmed brother is sitting on a leather loveseat, cuffed. He looks dazed and teary-eyed. Potentially high. He doesn’t look mildly remorseful.

Buck can tell both brothers are targets for him. Qualified leads, or whatever. But he thinks he’ll go for the non-injured one first. 

“How long have you all been here?” Bobby asks the police officer. “Why weren’t we called sooner?”

Buck ignores the response. As Eddie, Chim, and Hen work on the injured brother, Buck grabs a flashlight from Eddie’s med bag and wanders over to the cuffed one. 

“What do you want?” He sneers at Buck. “An autograph?”

Buck literally has never heard of this man-child before today. But yeah, totally. 

“To check you for a concussion,” Buck says. 

“I haven’t hit my head,” he replies. “Just protocol, man,” Buck lies.

“Whatever,” the guy rolls his eyes. 

Buck starts a phony version of a routine check. He flies through it, not very diligent. 

“You’re clear,” he says at the end, then pats the guy on the shoulder. He’s not supposed to do something like that. But it doesn’t matter. It’s enough to get what he needs.

The scary thing is that what he sees isn’t even that extraordinary any more. The badness. The aura. The past he gets to see. It’s par for the course with what he’s been seeing lately. Misogyny, predatory sexual behaviour, general abuse of the people around him, the environment, and his wealth. Truly vapid and inhuman beliefs. Just… Grotesque. And it would have made Buck sick at first. Now, he just quickly chooses the worst possible fate and calls it a day. 

But the problem is, when Buck is done, he doesn’t feel any better. No itch has been scratched. No pressure has been relieved. He feels awful. 

His feels a constant thrum of panic. Why isn’t it lessening? Why isn’t it going away? This wasn’t the deal he made. The quota isn’t supposed to consistently increase or disappear. Right? Nemesis didn’t say anything about that. Did she? Because Buck… He can’t… He can’t live like this. 

He tries again with the other brother. Touching his arm briefly as he helps lift a backboard onto a gurney. Same shit past. Same punishing future. Same… Same nothing. No relief. Nothing at all. 

⚖️

Bobby sends him home. He doesn’t get to talk to Eddie, the way Eddie wanted to. He gets back to the station and vomits, so overwhelmed by what he’s experiencing. The physical side and the abject dread. 

“I’m still worried this is residual from your illness in the fall,” Bobby says. “I’m worried about you, Buck.”

Who fucking isn’t?

[barsformars]

reaction: to their s/o being afraid of thunderstorms; ateez

req: hi! i absolutely love your writing, could i request an ateez reaction to s/o being scared of thunderstorms? thank you so much <3

a/n: thank you so much for requesting! this was kinda cute to write. also,, trying a different format here- not using gifs- lmk if y'all like it with gifs better? + first work im posting in this new year hehe hope y'all enjoy it <3

genre - fluff | pairing - ateez x reader | warnings - none

⭒❃.✮:▹ seonghwa

seonghwa had came home to you hidden under your covers as you watched the television on almost max volume, the curtains fully closed.

"love, isn't it a little too loud?" he had covered his own ears from how deafening it was and he had to pretty much yell for you to hear him. you paused the show when you took notice of him, quickly apologising as you tried to explain yourself when you saw another flash of lightning through the curtains. you slapped your two hands over your ears and squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the loud ripping sound from the sky.

seonghwa sat himself next to you and pulled you into his embrace, cupping your cheeks so that you would look at him. "love, do you trust me?" you nodded as you slowly opened your eyes.

seonghwa turned the television off and gently pried your hands away from your ears, letting your hands rest on the sides of his thighs. "let's be a little kinder to your ears, alright?" he leaned in closer and whispered into your ears. "do you want to tell me about your day or shall i go first?"

basically mars asmr but live, and when you do get surprised by the thunder, he would shush you affectionately and comfort you, continuing on about his day.

⭒❃.✮:▹ hongjoong

"can i hide in here for a little while?" you had peeked into his studio to see that he was just monitoring his past performances through fancams, surely you wouldn't be a distraction.

"from what?" he paused his video and whipped his head back to ask, confused. you were supposed to be at the dance studio, helping wooyoung and yunho check their choreography even if you weren't that experienced in dance.

"the thunderstorm, your studio is the only place where i can neither see nor hear anything so..." ah, he had no idea there was a thunderstorm outside. if he was he would have rushed over to you immediately, knowing just how afraid you can get.

"sure babe, make yourself comfortable." hongjoong would then turn on the ambience lighting to a dark blue and play some really soothing classical music, hoping that it would calm you down and take your mind away from the ongoing thunderstorm. when he sees that you were still a little frightened from earlier on, he drapes his warm jacket over you, "don't worry, you're safe here." he would also go to the kitchen to make a cup of warm tea for you to calm you down.

⭒❃.✮:▹ yunho

yunho loves thunderstorms, and he loves sitting by the window and staring out as the flashes of electricity branch out like veins in the sky, so full of life. that's what scares you the most, you know the extent of damage lightning can cause having lived in houses without good lightning protection systems.

"don't sit too near to the windows, you might get hurt!" you warned for the umpteenth time but your boyfriend refused to listen, saying that it would never happen.

"this apartment is safe, i promise," yunho reassured you, even gesturing for you to come join him over there. he wasn't going to force you if you still refused after the third time he asked but you decided to go. you've been trying to get over your fear of thunderstorms anyways.

he would wrap his arms around your waist and let you rest your head on his chest so that you could hear his calm steady heartbeats. the both of you sat at the windows watching the lightning and thunder with you burying your face into the crook of his neck often and him giving you long pats on your back to calm you down. you definitely did get less afraid of thunderstorms, though not much, but it's something.

"if the thunderstorm is ever mean to you, let me know. i'll personally throw hands at zeus."

⭒❃.✮:▹ yeosang

yeosang had fallen asleep on the couch when it started raining heavily along with non-stop thunder and lightning. you were extremely afraid but you had to close the windows yourself, you didn't want to wake yeosang up from his nap.

you were just about to close the one in the living room where yeosang was when the deafening sound of a thunder took you by surprise, causing you to shriek out loud in fear. being a light sleeper, yeosang jolted awake, surprised and worried. it absolutely broke his heart to see you crouched on the floor with your hands covering your ears, your shoulders shaking as you sobbed.

you felt so weak crying over a thunderstorm but yeosang made sure to let you know that there was nothing wrong with it. he gently guided you onto the couch where he would let you continue crying on his shoulder, his fingers intertwining with yours to let you know that he's there for you as he tries to help you control your breathing. "you're okay, you're okay. follow my breathing, love."

⭒❃.✮:▹ san

if you weren't afraid of thunderstorms, you probably wouldn't be sitting on yunho's gaming seat right now with san yelling at you over the headset to support him in the game. you weren't one to play games but as san says, "you won't be scared if you distract yourself"

it usually works, though the games do leave you feeling kind of nauseous from all the motion and lights, but today, the thunderstorm was simply on another level. the lightning had lit up the whole room with a bright white flash for a good three seconds before leaving you in a room that seemed much brighter a few moments ago.

san is not stupid, he knows playing games would not distract you this time round so he would quit the game and drag you onto the bed , letting you bury your face in his chest as he hums the tune of your favourite song.

when you told him that you were ashamed to be afraid of something many people aren't, he would shush you and say, "it's normal, everyone has their irrational fears. besides, that lightning really scared the life out of me too."

⭒❃.✮:▹ mingi

he knew about your fear of thunderstorms, and he always makes an effort to check the weather forecast on your behalf since he had googled it before and they said people who fear thunderstorms should try to refrain from doing so in case it makes them even more anxious. anyways, so he does it for you and prepares everything that you might need when it happens.

the both of you were in the car when the thunderstorm started, and being well prepared, he quickly handed you the small thin blanket and the bottle of water he kept at the backseats. there was no better place than under the sheets at home but this was better than nothing at all.

once the both of you got home, he would make sure to run a warm bath for you and might even accompany you in it. the fear had caused all your muscles to tense up and he made it a point to relieve all of them. in the meanwhile, he would comfort you by saying things like "im so proud of you." and "the next time a thunderstorm happens, remember how you are totally fine today, okay? think, thunderstorms are relatively harmless, you'll be fine this time too."

⭒❃.✮:▹ wooyoung

it was in the middle of the night when the thunderstorm started, the loud booming of the thunder startling you awake. you tried to go back to sleep, hoping that this moment would just pass and that you would wake up to a nice weather. but even with wooyoung by your side, you couldn't seem to be at ease enough to sleep.

"wooyoung, please wake up." that was your tenth attempt, unsurprisingly considering the fact that he sleeps like a dead log. thankfully he does, and very much apologetically when he notices the shitshow that was going on outside. even he was surprised he slept through the noise.

he would immediately drag himself out of bed to turn on the lights so that the lightning wouldn't seem as bad, also going out to the kitchen to pour you a glass of warm water. it always helped.

when the both of you were back in bed, wooyoung would rest against the headboard as you laid your head on his abdomen, him patting your shoulder affectionately until you fell asleep again.

"there's another thunderstorm going on inside your stomach," you joked with a faint smile as you snuggled closer into him.

"hey! if you're going to say that, go away."

⭒❃.✮:▹ jongho

the both of you were stranded outdoors as the thunderstorm has started unexpectedly while the two of you were taking a stroll in the park. the weather forecast did not foresee this. it was dangerous and very annoying to get soaked in rain, but everything was made worse because you were afraid of thunderstorms. you had no idea why, it was just the case.

"there's a shelter nearby, shall we make a dash for it?" jongho asked as the both of you sought temporary shelter from a tall tree.

"the lightning is a little crazy now though....." it was, but being under a huge tree on such a day wasn't the smartest idea at all, and it would be much better if you could go to a real shelter.

"you know i'm quite a lucky guy, right?" jongho would give you a piggyback as he ran, allowing you to close your eyes so that you wouldn't see the flashes of lightning. he would also tell you to put on earphones and play some soothing music. "it'll be over quick, just hang on in there for a little while."