#anyways i wish the production i saw had this 😭

[hangesdarling]

before i let you go — h. zoë

PAIRING. Hange Zoë x fem!reader SYNOPSIS. You see your lover for one last time before being betrothed to a man you don't love. CONTENT. arranged marriage, implied abuse, unwanted pregnancy, cheating, angst, implied sex, pain, me putting unnecessary symbolisms WORD COUNT. 1.9k A/N. I miss Hange sm it hurts. I miss their love and now I know no one can give me the same feeling as they are. I regret thinking I'd be happy with someone else. ANYWAYS IM BACK. IDK HOW LONG BUT I MISS HANGE SM 😭 please bear with my shitty writing, i haven't written in three months 😭

Staring at your wedding dress, you should have felt excitement and anticipation of the comfort the future holds. Of being a wife and a mother. It was what the women around you taught you should become. However, the longer you stare at your wedding dress, the more your vision seems to blur. Suddenly, the floral walls of the new home where you sat seem to melt, pouring like wax into the polished floor. The birds sing outside in the warm morning as your world crumbles. In a fortnight, you will lose your last name, your life, and your most beloved. 

Your fingers clutched a nearly crumpled letter, the rim of your eyes hot with unspilled tears. Gently, you smoothened the letter in your hands, reading the words scrawled for what seemed to be the hundredth time. It read:

Let's meet again for one last time. — H

Hange. 

A whisper left your mouth as if saying it louder will draw attention. It was freeing to utter their name again. Hange. Your beloved. The one you'll be leaving behind in a fortnight. 

-

Marriage has always been a necessary insurance your family knew of. You grew up surrounded by mothers and wives telling you about security and eventualities alleviated by finding a man to marry. Usually, it will be someone from the Military Police, or a merchant. The more they tell their stories, the more their romance sounds like tragedy in your ears.  A tragedy that doesn't kill you but wears you away and diverts you from loneliness by having responsibilities. You're happy. You should be happy to be with a stable man, picked and approved by your parents. He will give you everything, money, and misery. Maybe you'll have enough time to learn how to love him when you don’t have to worry about money. 

However, all life has offered you so far is sadness and a growing human inside of you. It was too premature to stir yet its presence pervades your whole being, floating on the surface of your mind. The child belongs more to your fiancé’s than yours. After all, it was a product of trying to claim you, of him knowing that your heart belongs to someone else. He can do nothing about your heart so he planted something of his own inside you thus ensuring you'd stay. It hurts to think, it hurts to remember. You threw a shoal over your head and wished for any thought other than what you currently have. You just hoped that the brown of your child's eyes would be more like Hange's than its father's. 

-

You crossed over a green field overlooking a meadow littered with pink and oranges, sometimes, red flowers. The beauty of spring. The grass dancing around your ankles. It reminds you of the beautiful springs you spent here, something you need to leave behind too. 

Your footsteps grew light and slow as you reached Hange’s doorstep. Before you even knock, all you want to say is a thousand apologies for many things it'd take you ages to name. But the moment Hange saw you, there was no bitterness in their face but longing. They held you in a tight, wordless embrace. Their arms and hands spoke of how much they had longed to see you again. At that moment, you held them just as tight. You expected anger and bitterness from them. They've loved you for many years only for you to come one day at their doorstep pregnant and to be married to someone else. Their anger would have comforted you because that's what you think you deserve at every waking moment. And you felt more terrible knowing that they still care after all the pain you've caused them.

It wasn’t right.

"I'm sorry," you managed to say. No amount of apologies will take back all that hurt.

Hange didn't say a word and only pulled you inside where it was warmer. Your knees weakened, you wanted to kneel in front of them and apologize again. Your guilt was too overpowering that it didn't feel right for you to stand on the same level as they are. But as crippling as you felt, they still held you in their arms, you let them touch you the way they always used to. It felt selfish getting comforted by someone you hurt and yet you found yourself in their bed again. 

Your lips found theirs, your hands holding them like they'd slip away any second. A cry bubbled from your lips from how much hunger and yearning you felt for them the time you were apart. You wanted to erase all the traces of touch imprinted on your body that weren't from their hands. You longed for the time you were theirs and no one else's. How come it went to a time where only your love belongs to them? 

"You got here without trouble, right?" Hange asked as they pressed a kiss on your neck. You got what they meant and nodded. None of the people working for your fiancé followed or noticed you or so you hoped. 

"That's good," Hange tucked a stray hair from your face. The pain and longing shone through their eyes. "I miss you."

I'm sorry.

All you wanted was to apologize, the heavy burden in your heart remained knocking and present every time you looked at Hange. 

"I miss you too," you managed to say without crying. All the happiness that breathed life into your existence remained frozen in the past. It hurts to think that the traces of that life will vanish the moment you step out of their house. Why does your last happiness remain in a fleeting present? Gone in a blow of a wind? 

You cherished each touch, each kiss that made you shudder in the sheets. Only Hange loved you despite the way you want to crawl from your skin, to love even the parts of you you're too ashamed to acknowledge. 

Take me back. Take me back to what we used to be, you cried, your soul wailed. 

You held Hange close, blankets thrown over your bodies. You gazed around the room, capturing the place in your memory. Their rustic furniture, papers, and books were all over their desk, both your clothes were strewn on the floor, and a purple flower sat at their bedside table. You took Hange's glasses from beside the vase and gently wiped the lenses with the blanket. 

"You never clean your glasses," you said. 

"You always notice when they're dirty," Hange smiled. "And overclean them."

Hange noticed your smile, not loaded with grief for once. Just like the old times. 

"I wish I could always clean them for you," you muttered, checking both lenses again before putting it back near the vase. 

Hange chuckled, a smile crossing their lips as they paused. A contemplative, almost painful pause. Their momentary silence retrieved your attention. 

"Only if we can run away. Outside those walls and perhaps, beyond that. You can stare at flowers all day and I get to stare at you."

Their laugh sounded pained as if the happiness that should come with it got stuck in their throat. 

Hange shook their head.

"What am I even saying?" Their smile remained wistful. "You'd be a lot better back there. With a family, with kids. You told me once you want a kid. And a flower shop."

Their smile grew, remembering you tending to their garden. Or how they grew your favorite flowers but never admitted so. 

"You said you're opening a flower shop. How is it going?" Hange asked, the painful stirrings on their insides were masked by curiosity. 

You're finding an answer somewhere in your head. But the few words you found phased out of your mind the moment you look into their eyes. Their soft, warm brown eyes gazed at you with pure, pained love. You hid in their chest, trying to bottle the tears like you used to. But the heaves and sobs came and only grew louder the moment Hange held you to face them. 

"Y/N..." they muttered, wiping your tears the way they used to. They kissed you and rubbed your back to soothe you. That's all they can do despite their wishes to be more. They cannot stop time or slow it down nor they can shape both your circumstances. 

"I want to be with you," you sobbed. "I love you and your little experiments. I love picking flowers in a field on a Sunday morning while you read books or pick insects to show me." 

Your words gushed and spilled, the truth you wanted to deny yourself overcoming you. 

"I love it when we try to eat what's left of your burnt pancakes while overseeing your garden. I love the flowers you grow for me. I love the times we sneak out like teenagers so my parents won't see us," you sobbed uncontrollably, your tears spilling past your lips as you spoke. "I love waking up next to you in the morning. And when you come home safe to me after every expedition. I love that you still care for me even when we had fights, even when I complied with that marriage, even when I'll be married to someone else."

Hange listened, their hand gently stroking your hair. 

"And I hate that nothing good lasts forever because something at least should. You were my happiest infinity and yet I left you. What will I merit from a life of temporary comfort when my happiness resides with you?" 

Hange wanted to comfort you but didn't know the right words to appease the hurt housed deep inside you. You were still the same girl they loved, the girl who dreamed of a quiet life with them. 

"I'm sorry," you sobbed finally, uselessly wiping your tears. "I'm sorry you loved me."

"I don't regret that," Hange muttered with a kiss on your forehead. 

"But I do," you told them. "You’re better off with someone else.”

They sighed, enclosing you tighter in their arms. 

"I'm happy about what we had," they smiled. You can feel their voice right at your ear as you press your head against their chest. Something you've taken for granted for many years. "I know it feels miserable for us now. But it won't always be. That, at least, is comforting, isn't it? I'll be okay, knowing that you'll be happy eventually."

"I won't be," you cried. 

"Then come back to me when that time comes." Hange knew it was a bold thing to say. They can't visualize a place where you'd be happy together without someone or something trying to break it apart. But they had to try. If they can battle the uncertainty residing outside the walls of Eldia, maybe they can do the same for the relationship they hold dear. 

"I will," you answered. It was equally bold as their proclamation. You wonder if those promises will ever lose meaning. If coming back to your most beloved is even an option at all. Even temporarily, the hurt waned from your heart and was painted over by an irresolute hope. You pressed closer to their heart and said, "I'll see you again."

-

The sun filtered through the pink curtains, shining a warm hue against the sheets. You trimmed the flowers sitting by the window, the white petals complementing the purity of their surroundings along the floral patterns on the walls. You are in your new home. A place you should teach yourself how to love despite the affliction laced with every item. 

Your musings were cut short as you noticed a new paper on your desk. It was a fresh sheet folded in two, the embeddings faintly showing through the back. You didn’t need to open it to know who it came from. As you sit down to open the letter, you realize that the floral patterns on your walls are pink lilies of the valley. 

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

[coldlovehotblood]

K queen could you please provide me with some izzy fic lmao 😭😭😭😭 so um i'm literally at the end of my uni semester and it's eating me out CAUSE I FEEL SO DUMB LIKE WHY TF AM I GETTING A DEGREE IF I CANT DO BASIC SHIT 💀💀💀💀💀💀 but i needed a super cute angst to fluff izzy fic where yn is going through this and she feels dumb and just bad about it all, and izzy helps her feeling better 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 literally handed 2 big projects today (i'm a programmer btw but that's irrelevant) and i got 3 tests next week AND I CANT BARELY THINK ANYMORE

Ok i'll shut up bye thank youuuuu

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

SMARTY PANTS

The pressure of university is worse than you thought it’d be, swallowing you up before you realise what’s happening. Luckily, your boyfriend is willing to help you forget for a while.

w/c: 2,128

warnings: smut

a/n: haiii sorry for the wait! nah programming sounds like a headache to me you must have one of the biggest brains in all the land. wish i was that smart fr😔 anyway i hope this scratches the Izzy fluff itch and gives you a little boost. YOU’VE GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

GWORGGGG divider by @strangergraphics

You were burnt out. Badly.

Exhaustion wasn’t a strong enough word for it. You were so genuinely close to padlocking your apartment door and going into hibernation in an attempt to catch up on missed shuteye.

Every assignment felt colossal, and put another wall between you and the freedom university was supposed to give you once you moved away from home. You had wanted more space to breathe, more opportunities to explore the world and yourself, more time to spend with your boyfriend…

God, your boyfriend was so good about all of it. He knew when to give you space and when to fill that space. He knew it was eating you alive and kicking your ass. He never gave you grief for periods of silence. You honestly didn’t know how you deserved him.

This occasion was yet another display of his patience.

You were sitting on your bed, staring blankly at the wall, trying to will yourself to get up and do something productive. With assignments being at the forefront of your mind for the past week or two, everything else was left behind. Your room was in disarray, there were clothes to be washed, dishes to be done, the list went on and on. As the minutes ticked by, you got more frustrated with yourself and your inability to keep up with life. You couldn't tell if University was brutal or if you really were eternally a few steps behind.

It was frustrating.

That lump that had been sitting in the base of your throat for the whole day finally loosened up as a sob heaved its way out of you. Vision blurred with tears, you turned to lie on top of your bed covers, but you heard a knock down the hall.

It took an unbelievable amount of effort to haul yourself up from where you lay. You padded over and didn't bother to wipe your cheeks before opening the door. There stood Izzy in leather and dark wash denim, holding a bottle of Jack. The crappy, sparse, yellow light from the hall was dampened greatly by the grin he was sporting, but that quickly faded once he saw your face.

“Baby, are you ok?”

You really started to cry then. He came through the threshold at once and took you into his arms. That gorgeous woody scent you knew as his engulfed you. Wordlessly, he guided you back into your apartment and to the sofa, setting the bottle down in favour of pulling you on top and close.

You tucked your head into his shoulder, seeking more of his cologne as he soothed a hand down your spine, tracing light patterns with his fingertips as he went. You realised then that you could relax a bit and that you were able to shrug off the tight restraints of deadlines that had been digging into you like rough ropes tied too tight.

Your voice was croaky when you eventually thanked him after a few minutes of silence. He shook his head in response.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” you replied with a sniff.

One of his hands now pushed away some of the hair that had fallen over your face.

“I came ‘cause a while ago you told me today was the deadline for some pretty important things. I wanted to see how you were holding up.”

You moved to look up at him from where you lay, and he dipped his head to look back at you, that same grin from before returning.

“I even brought a friend,” he spoke with a giggle, looking over to where he’d set the liquor bottle down. It was brand new, the amber contents sitting just below the unbroken seal as it ought to be.

You sighed before dropping your head again.

“How did you remember? I know that you and Axl are busy right now.”

“I wrote it down on some paper and kept it in my jacket. Every time I went to grab my lighter, I felt it and remembered. Figured it was the only way I could’ve.”

You were so fond of him it was sickening.

“You’re really dumb.”

“In comparison to you, yeah, honestly. All that computer stuff they have you doing is unbelievable.”

You let yourself feel the vibrations of his voice rumble against your cheek as you took in his words. Following this path had been your dream. Tech had always been an area of interest and pursuing it in university looked like the best path for you. For months, you had scoured high and low, looking for a place that would best accommodate you and the life you dreamed of creating. If you were going to do it, you were making damn sure you’d do it right. With the tech industry in the beginnings of a boom, it really was the best time to start.

However, you severely underestimated the pressure of the workload. You understood what you were getting yourself into when you signed up. You had read the course details a million times over, but actually having those deadlines hanging over your head, actually having those tests back to back with no wiggle room or time for a breather— it was harsh. Much worse than you thought it would be.

On top of that, the content was difficult. You had to take your passion seriously now. That doesn't sound like a big deal until you experience it yourself. It’s so strange, and new information was thrown at you with every lecture. The knowledge being given was amazing, but memorising all of it, being tested on it, brought everything into a different ballpark entirely.

In short, you were finding the rigour of it all extremely hard to keep up with, and the idea of dropping out was starting to paw at you like a dog looking for treats.

“I question why I’m doing it.”

Izzy scoffed and shook his head once more. This time his chin grazed your crown as he did.

“You’re kidding, right? You’re doing it because it’s what you love.”

“It is, but is it worth my sanity? I mean, there is constantly so much going on I feel like I’m losing even the basics.”

He said your name softly as his hand came to your cheek, encouraging your head up to meet his eyes.

“They wouldn’t have let you in if they thought you weren’t capable of keeping up. You are good at what you do, great even. And with this kind of an education? You’ll become fucking insane.”

His words brought you back to earth a bit. What he was saying made sense, but it wasn’t enough to fully satisfy that itching feeling of being behind, the feeling of non-existent eyes drilling into your back everytime you thought about work.

He tapped your cheek with his index and ring finger.

“Hey, let that pretty head rest. Let those projects and stray homework’s be the past and be here with me in the now.”

In the low light of your living room, his silver nose ring glinted as he tilted his head. You wished you could follow his instruction, but doubt is a stubborn thing. Tears filled your lash line again and he made a face so concerned and full of care it brought them on faster.

“Don’t cry, baby, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Frustration grew once again and you couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped you.

Suddenly, Izzy’s face changed as he looked into your salt-soaked eyes.

“I know how I can help.”

It was your turn to tilt your head.

“Will you let me take care of you?”

“What—“

“Just trust me,” he whispered, smiling handsomely as he came closer. You could feel his breath tickle your face a little bit with the proximity.

You were sinking deeper into a pool of uncertainty by the second, and he offered a hand to pull you to the surface. How could you refuse?

“Please,” you breathed back before he pressed his lips to yours.

Kissing him was like blinking, it came naturally and you didn’t have to think about it. Your mouths moved in sync so well it was easy to get lost in it. He was soft against you, each brush of lips like waves melting into each other upon impact. Seamless.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and flipped the two of you gently so that he was hovering above you. Carefully, Izzy brought one hand down your body as he kept the other propped beside your head on the armrest, slowly dragging it lower and lower as he continued to kiss you.

He then pulled away from your mouth as he sat up straighter, giving himself two hands to meet at the waistband of your bottoms.

“What you need, sweetheart, is a distraction. That is something I can most certainly give,” he spoke, wiggling his eyebrows and making you laugh. Fingers under the fabric, he hesitated.

“Is this ok? We don’t have to do anything, it’s just an idea.”

He was too good to you. So sweet it’d be no time at all before every one of your teeth would have to be capped with silver.

“I trust you.”

That’s all the confirmation he needed before pulling them all the way down, taking your panties along with the movement. He was careful but quick.

“You’re so gorgeous here,” he muttered, not taking his eyes off of your exposed lower half.

You blushed bright as you wiped at your eyes, loathing the tight feeling that came to your cheeks once tear tracks dried. Izzy ever so gently encouraged you to open your legs wider with his hands, parting them to place himself in between.

He lowered himself then to your hip, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses, whispering praises as he crept closer and closer to where you needed him most. You shivered as arousal bloomed in your stomach. Your being sung under his touch.

He stole one more glance of you, eyes glittering with excitement. He looked ready to buzz out of his skin and squeal. Every time he did this, you were left in disbelief at how eager he could be. You couldn’t decide if it was you or him that got off more to things like this.

Finally, he closed the gap between him and you, and you sighed with contentment. Izzy licked a stripe over your core and pleasure coursed throughout your body. Hypnotised, you let him have his way.

He was too good at it, knowing just how and where to brush his tongue in order to drive you mad. You didn’t realise it, but his lapping really was making you blank.

You were relaxing.

He built you up steadily and at the brink of orgasm he left you hanging, stunning you out of the bubble he’d lulled you into. This continued a couple of times as he made sure your brain was left mush and static.

Once satisfied with your state, he let you reach that dizzying peak of pleasure and tipped you over the edge, ecstasy bursting you open and leaving a supernova in it’s wake for your boyfriend to appreciate; the fruit of his labour: a lax-bodied, simple-minded version of you.

You panted with him as he brought you to his chest once again. You couldn’t really say anything but his name at that point so you opted for silence and squeezing him tight.

“Told you I knew,” he said huskily into your ear, nipping your lobe playfully.

It took a second for the words to come out, but you did eventually reply, “okay smarty pants, we get it.”

He laughed, the sound ringing loud and bright through the room before moving an arm under your knees and standing up, princess carrying you through your apartment to the bedroom. As he went, he continued his teasing, insisting you call him ‘ the smartest motherfucker to ever walk the earth’ before he tucked you in and took his place behind you, curled up tight to your back.

Worn out and kept cozy by Izzy’s warmth, it wasn’t long before sleep took you. You’d decided university was a problem for future you, as you at the time was more occupied thinking of all the ways they could prove they are the smarter motherfucker.

You were terribly in love, and, in that moment, that was what trumped everything else.

Also, you had a bottle of Jack Daniel’s waiting for you. That’s an immediate plus.

[mccnstruck]

hold me like you understand.

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: TW!!: implied depression and $u!cida! thoughts, mention of sh, vent fic, op is going through it, not proofread, hurt/comfort, kissing, the ending sucks

a/n: sorry guys 😭

the people down in the shops wandered around, yelling prices and selling different products. kids ran outside with the ball, yelling and laughing underneath the joyous warmth of the sun. friends gathered to drink tea, warriors trained amidst the green fields.

the wooden floor began to slide underneath your bed, yet you didn't seem to care; your eyes unfocused and stoic. your bed piled with clothes of the past day, your blanket had a eerie smell of sickness, yet you didn’t seem to care; you hands were too weak to pull the blanket over you fully. your throat felt like sandpaper and your stomach yearned for at least a small meal, yet you didn’t seem to care, your lips broken and bleeding.

nothing really mattered anymore, did it? it felt like weeks have turned into days, and your sense of time slipped away from the grasp of your fingers. you were too tired to grasp it back; letting reality slip away. nothing really mattered, did it? the red scars testing the fragility of your skin, the cold air making the hairs on your skin stand. your desk remained clattered of the endless amount of work given to you 2 days prior. your eyes consisted of red, either because of the 2 hours of sleep or the tears that fell onto your bed.

when was the last time someone had visited you? now that you think about it, when was the last time you talked to someone out of your own desire..?

it didn’t matter anyways. they wouldn’t want to talk to someone who doesn’t even know how to take care of themselves.

so, you laid there for a undefined amount of time. the soft promises of warmth and comfort from your bed soon turned into a confined suffocation; forced to face the thoughts in your head.

your chest hurt. you were tired. you wished you could see light, literally and figuratively. would you feel some relief? or would that light overwhelm you; the burdens of life forcing you back into the darkness of your room?

there’s nothing for you here. all of your loved ones were better off if they weren’t forced with the burden of acknowledging you anyways.

and yet, the knock on your door says otherwise.

a soft voice echoes through the walls of your home. “[name]?”

kazuha? what was he doing here?

your voice cracks, yet somehow you find the power to reply.

“sorry, give me a minute…!”

with the task of not disappointing kazuha, you rushed to get up and change into the clothes on your bed. your legs almost crumble after curling up into a ball for so long, yet you will yourself to walk to the main door.

you squint your eyes when you peek outside to see kazuha with something in his hands. the light of another day shined into your home from the crack of the door. kazuha softly laughed when he saw two eyes peek back at him.

“hello, you. i just wanted to pop in, if you don’t mind? it’s been a while, and i would like to spend some time with you.”

“um, its really messy inside…”

“i don’t mind. well, unless you want me to go? i don’t mind either way. whatever you wish.”

you don’t want kazuha to see the calamity of your home. but having him over would be nice.

“…promise you won’t judge?”

“of course, dear.”

you opened the door some more for him to enter. as he walked in, his eyes widened. your home looked dim and felt stiff. he looked at you in your entirety to see dark eye bags, unkempt clothes and tear stains marking your face.

he placed down the bag in his hands and moved closer to you, his crimson eyes dilated in fear of losing you to your thoughts. “my love…what happened?”

your voice cracked. your hands began to shake at his question. “it’s…. it’s been a rough few weeks. i’m sorry.”

he held your hands with caution, and let his lips linger on your skin. “don’t be sorry for not feeling alright. you should’ve told me of the thoughts that lingered in your head.”

he tugged on your hands, and you followed him to your kitchen. he sat you down on the chair and walked behind the counter.

"do you wish for a specifc food?"

"kazuha..."

"shh. let us make something, ok?"

he began to work with what you had, humming to a tune you weren't familiar with. he paced around the kitchen, while asking you where things were. you pointed to each cabinet, naming what was in there and what needed to be restocked. kazuha smiled and made his way to you to kiss your cheek. his lips lingered onto your skin and whispered, "thank you for helping me, dove."

soon, the spoons clicked at the bottom of the bowl, and your stomach was content with finally consuming something. saying your thanks and helping him with washing the plates, you finally move into your bedroom.

you were scared. the eerie smell never left your room and if kazuha were to even flinch at the condition of your room, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.

and yet, kazuha walked in as if he didn't notice. he lit the small candle in your room and walked back to you, dazed and bewildered.

kazuha pulled your arm and let his own wrap around you. his face fit into the crook of your neck, and he gave a gentle squeeze. you swore you almost cried when he held you with such care, a reassurance that he was with you.

"kazuha...?"

his own voice was shaky, yet he whispered.

"i'm so sorry, dove. i'm so sorry for letting your mind consume you. i should've noticed sooner. "

"kazu, you didn’t have to-"

"i want to. it's not easy to face all these burdens, and you are the strongest person i know. you've done so much for me and so many other people. let me take some of those burdens, let me take care of you."

you hiccup, and a fresh set of tears stained his clothes.

"kazuha, why do you do so much for me?"

your cries echoed the room, and kazuha's heart broke. here in his arms, stood a person, who he thought deserved every bit of joy of the world, crying to him because they couldn't even find a reason for his kindness. his willingness to help was for the satisfaction of his heart, not of a ulterior motive. but to think that you, his love, would need a reason of kindness, because you thought you didn't deserve his love, you didn't deserve him.

kazuha answers, "because you are you. before you are my love, you are you. you are human. that in itself, should be all the answers to that question. but, i know your mind won't settle for only that."

he leans back, and you mourn the loss of warmth. his hand cradle your cheek, and he guides your face to look at him. "i want to help because you mean so much to me. it doesn't seem like it, but you mean so much to others too. captain beidou was asking about you the other day. she wanted your input on something, now that i think about it. and before, when i went off to liyue, the kids over there still remember you as the person who played catch with them. even your mama sent over something. i left it on the counter, but auntie told me she had made your favorite sweets."

kazuha examined your eyes, ignoring the shock written on your face.

"i don't see the stars in your eyes; it pains me to see it so dimmed. no matter how far i am willing to follow, i cannot reach you when you are so deep in your mind's cage. please, let the people care for you. you deserve this much."

he leaned in, and in the time it took you nod, he had leaned into a kiss. his other hand remained firm on your waist, and he muffled the sighs from you. your face felt unclean and dirty, you wanted to say. he telepathically answered by peppering kisses on your face, the sensation ticklish. you feel the laugh burst from your chest, and you also feel kazuha's smile on your skin.

voice muffled from peppering kisses onto you, he mumbles. "h'vent heard you laugh in so long. you sh'ld laugh and smile more."

he was right, you thought. this is the first time you genuinely laughed in... how long? you didn't care to count the time passed.

when he leaned back, he saw you smiling at him with a glint of light in your eyes. kazuha gives you a smile of his own. "mission complete."

he leaves one last kiss on your lips, before pulling you in another hug.

"thank you, kazu."

"don't mention it."

"do you want to help me gift something for mama this afternoon?"

you feel his smile on your neck as he whispers a yes.

the candle burned brightly on your desk. you hoped it forever stayed that way in your heart.

[fitzrove]

Musical questions! 28, 29, 30?

[To celebrate 400 followers I'm finally answering all these from my drafts :D]

28. What's a musical that you saw ages ago that you're still not over? What about it made you love it so much?

If watching a video counts as "seeing": Tanz der Vampire. I saw posters and ads on the street for the Helsinki 2016 production... but that was after it was already over, in April/May!!!!! I was so curious about it but forgot after the initial wondering. Then that summer I went to a two-week language camp/course in the UK (my first time abroad without parents!) where we were singing Total Eclipse in the music room and an older "camp counsellor" girl from Germany told us it's actually from a musical, and that night I took it as my sign to look it up and ended up watching sooo many clips on YouTube over and over for the rest of my time at that course, and eventually the whole 2005 proshot with English subs.

Something about it spoke to me in a way no other musical had before - I mean, I had liked POTO for years, that summer I also started listening to Hamilton, but neither of those rattled in my head to the same obsessive degree as TdV did <3

It came into my life at a special time, has come and gone since, and whenever I get back to it, it still hits the hardest out of any show I've ever watched. Whether it be the epic orchestral rock score (I'm not like an über Steinman fan but I like his stuff), the level of emotion (some would say melodrama <3) and the way the show itself has come to symbolise a lot of things to me over the years (freedom to leave an environment you're not happy in and remaking your life elsewhere; freedom to be yourself and go after what you want even if it goes against what's conventional or societally acceptable; the world belonging "to the shameless and the wicked" and the rest of us just having to roll with it). So yeah >:)

I've now seen TdV live three times: once in Stuttgart in autumn 2021, and twice in Hamburg this summer (2024). It wasn't perfect but it meant a lot :') I've also met Aris Sas and he liked my headcanons and hot takes, and wished me the best in my life and my studies 😭🙏

29. What's a musical that you used to really like but don't anymore? What made you fall out of love with it?

I think I'm falling out of love with Wicked!! It was one of the first shows I saw live (back in Finland) and that production left a lasting impression on me, but after seeing it in London twice (heheh) I think I'm satiated :') I will still want to see the movie though! I probably just won't have the energy to engage that much with the hot takes it will probably spawn kslsls. Plus I hate the discourse that the movie is stirring up about how the book is better and that should've been a movie instead dkkdldls. I think the book is kind of terrible and takes itself too seriously. Plus the sex scenes are bad bad bad bad....

Anyway - still like the musical, I think I have just overlistened to it and I don't usually find too much to "chew on" in the fandom space :D Especially since I don't know/care about Wizard of Oz lore 😭

30. What's a musical that's grown on you since you first saw it or listened to it? What made you appreciate it more?

Rudolf: Affaire Mayerling.......... I still think it's terrible but I keep making friends with people who know that it's inaccurate (and don't really care about defending its honor skkskd) and still love it for being camp 😭 I used to have a very negative view of it but now I can just listen to Du bleibst bei mir on repeat, enjoy wholeheartedly and pretend it's the whole show 😌 obligatory mention that I met and took a pic with Wietske at the Les Mis München stagedoor this year 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏

[poppinlovemp4]

what are your thoughts on each nct member

im crying there are 22 of you here thats fewer people than nct. who's sending me this. anyway im bored so ill answer... really long obviously there are so many guys

i dont have any thoughts on the wish members ive never streamed idk any of their names and i'll keep it that way bless their hearts. or not idk

jisung: idgaffff his dancing is overhyped and he's charmless to me and i hate deepvoice rappers forever

chenle: probably nicest voice in dream but that's a really low bar. dont really have other thoughts. i've heard he cares a lot about basketball which can either be charming or offputting i dont know enough about him to say

yangyang: thats OOMF top 3 in ncity to me <3 i really did not care about him all when i was first entering weishenville sorry for my anti-kpop rapper bias but he's soooo fun to watch onstage. imo the only one other than ten obviously who's got a good handle on #It. and he has the cutest smile ever probably. and i like him :-)

jaemin: idgaf i literally cannot think of a single thing to say here

haechan: seems like an unsavoury bloke from what i've seen of his scandals and i hate his voice so so so badly like when i first listened to 127 on purpose i had to pause and look up a lyric video to see whose voice i hated so much. good performer though

jeno: least fave nct member and i dont like many of them. disband

renjun: hope he's feeling better these days. no further thoughts

hendery: thats OOMF but kind of less than the rest of wayv sorry.. he's like one of the only idols ever i think is genuinely funny the way he speaks and acts is so 😭 i really dont know how he comes up with any of it. was sincerely baffled when i found out he wasnt wasian

xiaojun: he's all right

mark: ive literally never been impressed by any performance ive seen from him idk WHERE people get the all rounder genius idol thing from it's not showing #ToMe!!! the originator of many fave reaction images though so he's okay in my book

jungwoo: idgaf. wait no back when djj was announced people kept comparing him to xiumin in cbx to justify his place there (as in 2 main vocals / guy who isn't a main vocal) and he is not xiumin he could never dream of having my beautiful sister's charisma uniqueness nerve or talent! other than that idgaf

winwin: saw the news today hope he heals all righttt and it's nothing too serious... as an idol he brings nothing to the table except cuteness and that's not very important to me so i hope his career in cn thrives bless

jaehyun: tbh when nct first debuted i hated him so badly for literally no reason like his face just made me so mad. and look at us now <3 he is my entire 127 tag. i liked his debut so i'll continue following his solo career and he's also funny to me but i can't say that without feeling like jaehyun tote bag tweet

ten: thats OOMF another top 3 member <3 he's EVERYTHINGGGG imo the only nct member who's like absolutely a star & built to be a soloist.. i cannot wait for his second albummm i love his vision he is so so so so insanely talented it boggles the mind. and also so cool... i rarely think idols are cool but he is so cool

doyoung: he's a crazy ass hater with an evil spirit but i kind of fuck with it idk if i had to pick a second fave 127 member it would probably be him he's funny to watch. i streamed from little wave a few times also

kun: thats OOMF every time he's mentioned that he was the one who pushed for a certain song/production choice (new ride being in gmt, the strings at the end of omy) it's been one of my favourite parts of whatever the final product is so i really appreciate that. ten's kinda right about him he's so old but it's really charming to me

yuta: idrgaf. i thought his solo debut was interesting ill be giving his future stuff exactly one stream and perhaps more if the execution improves

taeyong: i think it's so funny how everyone buys the cutesy act he started going hard on immediately after his bullying scandal came out😭 loved his work on baby don't stop & call d. hated his work on everything else. every time his verse on rv's cover of be natural comes on i take a moment to curse him out

johnny: from chicago and yet so deeply charmless he gives this beautiful city a bad name. disband

[koolades-world]

Hello!!!! Yeah so my attempt at acting cool and collected went down the drain the moment you responded to me… I literally woke up this morning, saw your notification and squealed for a good few seconds!!! I’m sorry but you’re so cool T^T not to mention, who wouldn’t freak out when their favourite author talks to them AND is mutuals with them??? Anyway! I’ve been trying to get better since I’m currently not in the right place, mentally speaking. But today seemed like a good day, so hopefully I can maintain this! I hope you’ve been doing well as well!

I only what I believe is true to me, so no need to thank me, I’m just being honest :). I also got quite lucky with Satan’s card since I got him in 31 pulls, and I needed 3 more UR+ jokers to skill level up. And let me tell you, I physically stop for a few seconds to take in his Home Screen dialogue… I’m so in love with this man it’s not even funny 😭 so it’ll definitely be worth it!! (Not so) happy grinding :,) I’ll happily be waiting on that Drabble!!! Thank you so much for explaining the tag!

Have a lovely day/night, and take care!!

YOURE THE BEST!!! sorry it took a bit to get back to you! had a busy day and made some soup! love that we both had a mutual squeal moment as mutuals. i'm also on my mental health journey right now so if it comforts you, we are in this together :) my favorite trick to motivate myself to preform basic tasks that i don't have the motivation for is to think about satan and what it would be like to do that basic task with him. mentally ill behavior, i know, but sometimes you need to be mentally ill to get better haha

so glad to hear you also got him!! he knew how much you love him so he came home early. i really want to unlock the premium but honestly i'm kind of glad i didn't. story time!: right now i still live with my parents because i'm a student so anytime my grandparents come over, i'm dragged into hanging out with them. don't get me wrong, love them but they can be a lot. they're asian and very religious. (i'm sure you can see where this is going.) to please them, i sat in the living room with them instead of up in my room. i had just gotten the card earlier that day and was trying my hardest to start gathering materials for the card. out of nowhere, my grandparents appear over my shoulders and ask what i was doing. thank god i was not interacting with satan or lucifer. i immediately closed the game and went to go play a different game hahaha. i do not know what i would've done if i had the shower satan on my homescreen

alright story over! haha. he's soooo gorgeous. for a while i thought i was a lesbian (i know, a little odd considering the fandom) but satan. he is the only man i've ever been this wild about. to me, he is literally perfect. i wish he was real wahhhh. been cooking that one drabble we talked about last week!! wanted to have it out today but i accidently took a three hour nap and had to bump tomorrows upload to today. It'll be out tomorrow! not so much of a drabble gonna be so real but i think you'll really like it!!!!! attaching a sneak peak of something i already wrote and a little bit from my notes that i'll be cutting out of the final product but thought were funny

stay beautiful!! <333

[captain-hawks]

Dee my beloved!! I missed you so very much these past couple of weeks! I have post notifications for you turned on so every time I got a lil notification from you I would be like c: when I saw your url and then :c bc I was usually too distracted/busy to come on here esp bc I need a laptop for the level of word vomit I usually conjure up for your precious thoughts and words.

I hope you're feeling better, so sorry to hear you were sick. I spent 20 hours making over 2 gallons of noodle soup and all its accoutrement for my bf's surprise bday party so I'm virtually sharing it with you. It's a bun rieu with plenty of Dungeness crab topped with lots of fresh veggie and herbs and homemade crab meatballs and herby fish paste and lil porky meatballs.

Did you do anything fun over labor day/are you prepping for fall in any way? I'm switching out my candlessss even though it is still a hellscape where I am and will feel like living on the surface of the sun until November.

I missed your AMA so can I ask now? What's the most embarassing thing that's happened to you in recent memory? Bc I flew home for a wedding and although it was for the son of beloved family friends (the son i also consider a brother figure), some people should not get schwasty in public bc the father of the groom came over loudly proclaim/lament that he wished *i* was becoming his daughter in law instead. At his son's wedding to a very sweet lady I adore. Five separate times. With people all around. I wanted to return 2 the sea. I wanted to be left alone in a corner with the 6 ebooks I had downloaded. I literally hid in a restroom for 75 minutes and risked everybody thinking I had The Shits just so I could get some peace to myself.

Anyways, before I go I am going to leave you with some of the final product of the cake I was telling you about that I was testing different components for. I really wish I could actually share with y'all instead of just telling you and cate about it in chats but until wonkavision is invented I'll pretend sending a pic is the same thing. I settled on double vanilla brown butter cake/pickled cayenne strawberry compote/yuzu and lemon curd liquid cheesecake/graham milk crumb. The layers didn't come out as cleanly as I'd hoped but I might try another one with white and yellow peaches (macerated? Cooked into a jam or Japanese style syrup?) and a Mango curd to squeeze every last bit of summer fruit season out.

If kita-non is around and for some reason bothers to read my inane prattle can i pls share a slice with u too. The couple times I got to skim your thoughts these past few weeks I was spending time offline I wanted to give your brain a big ole squeeze. Just lookin' at the pair of you with hearts in my eyes like look at u guys go torturing us with sweet sweet kita thoughts. We can pretend he supplied the fruits used in the cake ❤

I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE BACK 😭🫶!!!!!

i was still feeling quite cruddy over labour day weekend, but i DID go hunt down the CVS puffer jacket snoopy plushie....a personal accomplishment 😂 (he was hard to find!). also i’m planning to bust out my giant totes of halloween decorations this weekend!!! my fall candles are staring at me adoringly from the closet ready to take over.

I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR MISFORTUNE????? i cannot believe. i, too, would have called the bathroom my new home to never be perceived again. (has anyone informed sober!dad of his big drunk mouth????)

so this is secondhand embarrassment until i come up with a better story BUT i was on a zoom meeting at work today, and a man was pitching software to my boss & i. said man realized 40 minutes in that the software actually isn’t even available in my geographical region and thus he had completely wasted our time. i watched his soul leave his body through the screen. the most awkward goodbye followed.

also if i magically appear in your pocket at some point like a tiny creature with its hands out begging for food, it’s because every time you describe something you’ve made, i yearn like no tomorrow. that soup sounds divine?? AND THE CAKE!!!!! THE CAKE!!!!!!!! it’s beautiful. it puts other cake to shame. i will dream of this cake. it will haunt me.

[ardenrosegarden]

Since I had to answer this, I'm making you answer this: rank the Lancasterlings in order of your interest. 😈

oh nooo you can't do this to me 😭 it's hard 😭

Probably Humphrey lmao. He's got so many fun things going on with him: survivor's guilt, younger sibling idolizing his one of his older brothers only to unhealthily project that onto said brothers' son, super divorced™, tragic ending on and on and etc. It's fun to compare the way I was introduced to him (via Shakespeare plays) where he was mostly sweet and well-meaning verses irl Home Fry who is, to borrow academic language, kind of a messy bitch. It's a fun contradiction that's fun to play around with, honestly! Also, given my own interest area, I think he deserves props for being a last standing youngest brother royal uncle who didn't give into the darkness and disappear his nephew.

John. He's been somewhat a pet of mine since I first saw my first production of Henry IV. I just think he's neat :) I feel like you can also have a lot of fun with the irl guy, (which we often do 😂 ) There's also some accusations of him being kind of cringefail from the French perspective which is fun

Philippa! She makes me wish I was more acquainted with Sweden's situation in the 1400's, since it seems like she left behind a good amount of documentation to learn more about her :')

Blanche. I wish we knew more about her... I also wish she could've killed Ludwig with hammers.

Thomas. There's such open expanse when it comes to him, but I feel like there's quite of bit of ...not really knowing what to do with him I guess? Even with Billy Shakes, he shows up to say a few lines in Henry 4 and then dip 😭 But I think he's a fun additional mirror to hold up to Hal to examine how they're similar and different :')

Henry V. Legitimately interesting! Dad issues, guilt complexes up to here, surrogate dad/eldest daughter-son. I feel though, given his status as an English king, it doesn't really matter if I contribute to any interest in him myself, even though I do think he's a fun squeaky toy, given that generally he'll always be first to get it anyway ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[irritablepoe]

Oh Johnny 💜🙏 I am sorry you are having a tough time today and I have to ask. Does verbalizing your self deprecating thoughts make them better or worse? I wish I could put little compliments on post it notes and litter them throughout your room for you instead.

Life is tough and weird but you are a fantastic and lovely person, and everyone deserves to be a little selfish, you included. You haven't done anything irredeemable or messed anything up beyond repair, your brain (and the ppl you live with) are just scumbags to you. Anyways, ily and I am sending you all the self love vibes, if even a tiny fraction of them reach you I would be satisfied. But if anything I hope you can pump the breaks on beating yourself up so much today. Good luck though and I hope you can be gentle with yourself as much as possible 💜🙏

hiiii lue💜💜💜 it actually does help a little to verbalize them, or at least it helps me understand it better ig? Especially the last part of my post there was something that I had struggle expressing yk, like I want good things for myself but when I have it or reach for it it always feels like I'm not worth them and I shouldn't be so greedy and take them for granted, which I'm not but yk, I always feel like they're one second away from fading away. That sounds bad but it's an improvement to what I would've said a few years back where I didn't think I wanted good things for myself.

The post it thing is very sweet lue thank you, but I also think I'd cry every time I saw one😭🙏 (I love the idea tho, it's so cute)

thank you for reminding me that I'm not irredeemable fr, my brain makes me look so bad that I sometimes really think the mistakes I made are well... The worst thing a human could do which is not at all the case I know that lol but yk it feels that way. Also I think today was just shit, it didn't have much to do with anyone, even my mum was very supportive the past few days and idk it also feels like I'm not worth that either BUT ANYWAYS

Thank you, I really appreciate this so much and even though I didn't answer until now, it got me through an actually productive day (which I'm ending with some reading now to treat myself hopefully :3). Ily tooooo and I hope you're having a good dayy🥺💜

[blackfairy312]

What would their Mincraft houses look like? And what is their biggest fear? (Fnac3)

🔥answering more of theeeese heheeh

i actually had a minecraft house for Komi once but it's lost o an old computer that doesnt work anymore 😭 it was shaped after a Black Box from Evillious (her "heart") and had a few bedrooms upstairs for herself and her kids and a HUUUGE kitchen and a fancy bathroom and a greenhours and a nise backyard an then like, a secret evil basement . i wish i had pictures of it.

dawg if these assholes played Minecraft together it would probablt be a server Komi made and she only gave Antonio moderator permissions bc she doesnt trust the other two with that . Antonio woukd make a statue of Vinnie and set it on fire to piss Vincent off. Komi spends most of the time building and decorating things and organizing bc she likes being productive (or else she'll start doing crazy shit). like these assholes she works with would probably be too busy fucking around in the game to focus on what theyre doing so Komi would make one house for them all to live in and make rooms for them all . every time the guys come back to base they'll see Komi in the middle of putting a redstone contraption together and they'll drop styff off in chests and explore the base little bc there's new stuff Komi added and then they'll leave to fuck around again . AND SOMEHOW Komi will have full neatherite armor and shit . everyone like "DUDE how did you find the time for this?" meanwhile all Vincent Richard and Antonio have been doing have probably been like . Naming chickens "Bitch" and hangint them from trees to throw eggs at them and harassing villagers or hanging around the pillager mansion like idiots . every time they die they have to ask Antonio or Komi to /tp them to someone else so they can get their shit.

and biggest Fears ... i already said in another postbut Komi is afraid of getting attached to humans but like she always does that anyway. smeting about her immortality VS their mortality and how they're destined to die and she's destined to leave .i guess she copes with this by CLINGING onto the memories she makes with the humans she meets in the Multiverse . and taking some suveniors from each world. Actually she has the original Vinnie puppet ! she kept that .

Vincent's biggest fear is people finding out who he really is .. a Manipulator Mainsplainer Mansluaghter er . he doesnt want to lose everything he doesnt want to be a 'normal person' he WANTS TO BE SOMEBODY. his biggest fear is LOSING. thats probably why he cheats at hide & seek as Monster Vinnie in the final night.

Antonio's biggest fear is ending up like his dad . as he's been raising himself and his siblings and observing his parents he's made a mental note of his dad's behaviors and how he NEVER WANTS TO END UP LIKE HIM . you can think ofhis dad like Clay Puppington maybe ? idk i just saw a moral orel clip this morning and now im thinkin about that show again . NO SORRY I FORGOT ANTONIO IS A LOT LIKE KENNY MCCORMICK , his parents just arent crackheads they're alcholics . but Yeah Antonio is TRYING to get himself together but tbh Vincent being an awful boss is ADDING to Antonio's stress and its not good for his mental health at ALL. he was probably seeing a therapist and was going to AA meetings but then ONE DAY he got into a fight with Vincent backstage and he went home and spiraled again. undoing his progress. Ywah im projecting heavy.

Richard's biggest fear is probably something tamer than everyone elses . for now anyway he isnt really complex in my mind like the other Three are rn 😭😭😭😭 SERIOUSLY THE GAME GIVES ME NOTHING TO WORK WITH WHICH IS FINE B FNAC 3 HAS AMAZING STORY TELLING BUT IN THE CONTEXT OF ME TRYING TO EXPAND ON WHAT'S THERE I DONT HAVE MUCH FOR THE CAT ACTOR .

[bagheerita]

I am a SO ready to talk Godzilla movies. I’ve only seen a handful of them compared to like the dozens I know exist-the more recent ones where they were trying to do Avengers but the big Monsties-but god I love them.

Admittedly Kong is seared into my brain because it came out at the Height of my Tom Hiddleston obsession-I even own it in dvd like I was that deep-so that’s the one I remember the best. And it’s the one I like the most because of the wide range of monsters we get to see. Big Buffalo guy? The skull lizards? Fuck yeah love my monsters wish more movies were monster movies lol.

Anyways, the others are more spattering in recollection. But I wanna ask, which of these movies is your fave, why, and what do you think of the empty core earth/godzilla goes into the center of the earth to recharge like Superman does to the sun? I remember finding that very. Odd? But ripe for interest bc in Kong they set up that whole. Under-earth world the skull things came from.

I've also only seen a handful of the movies... exactly 6 Godzilla/Monster-verse related movies (that I can recall anyway): the original Gojira and the original King Kong. And then Godzilla 2014, Kong Skull Island, Godzilla King of the Monsters (watched last night), and Godzilla vs Kong (watched today!).

I've only seen each of them once, and Kong Skull Island is the only one I saw in the theater (Tom Hiddleston obsession what....😅😅💚❤). Watching Godzilla KotM's last night was the first time I'd actually seen several of the monsters I already knew of through cultural osmosis, like Rodan and Ghidorah, which was very cool.

My favorite is hard to say. (I mean, to say the best movie would be easy: it would be Gojira, because I think it's awesome and perfect and very much a product of its time that said what it needed to say. But I feel like it's an entirely separate genre than the other movies I've seen.) I enjoyed Skull Island and I remember it being slightly better story-wise than the Godzilla movies, IE it made me care more about the human characters and they had better development and reasons for what they were doing.

Since it's the one I just watched I might say KotM is my favorite, just because I loved all the monster battles, and because there are apparently no locked doors in this world (Millie Bobbie Brown can just walk into Fenway Park, and also her family home that's been abandoned for months/years, without any keys or any problems). And also because of Charles Dance, who is a fantastic villain even though he looked like he was phoning it in and even though he didn't get eaten by a dragon (It was all I wanted... what was promised. lol). GvK was fun, but not quite enough to overcome the silliness of the premise. (like, come on, giant monkey versus radioactive dinosaur. who do you think wins? I did like that the movie turned it into a team up against Mechagodzilla/the ghost of Ghidorah.)

The first mentions of the Hollow Earth Theory kind of took me by surprise, so it took me awhile to get over the silliness of it especially the gravity inversion lmao. (Just last month or so I finished watching Sanctuary, which has its own Hollow Earth theory lol) But I did really love the concept of Godzilla's temple where he would go to recharge in KotM. (Too bad they blew it up 😭 Or did they?? Maybe Godzilla's temple where he hangs out can withstand nuclear blasts? 🤔) I love the idea that he would go to this place of ancient worship to rest and regain his strength, sleeping among the memories of when he was perhaps more literally a god. The whole "recharging from the center of the earth bc there's radiation" is whatever. The origins of Godzilla have changed so much to get him to fit into this new idea of him and his place within the world and what he represents, so... sure. The Earth is a hollow, Godzilla recharging battery. 👍

I really liked the development they did for Hollow Earth in GvK. I like that Kong's axe gets charged up by Godzilla's blasts. And I loved that when you see Kong's "throne," Godzilla is carved into the stones around the base of the throne. To me this suggests that rather than a rivalry, Kong and Godzilla have an ancient symbiosis: Godzilla is King Kong's guard dog... or perhaps "court wizard" in the sense of the archetypal magician, with the knowledge and power to comprehend a balance within nature that he then "advises" the "king" about. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dunno but I think that would be really cool. I'd love to see more "monsterverse" movies with fewer human characters getting in the way (though I did really like Millie Bobbie Brown's posse wandering around and stumbling onto Mechagodzilla; that was a cool way to reveal that information to the audience). But more stories specifically about the interactions between these ancient creatures would be very interesting. In the special features for KotM they say that Mothra is the only female monster, which is kind of odd. I suppose Godzilla never really "dies" so he doesn't need to... reproduce in a standard-for-higher-Earth-life-forms way, but I'm pretty sure I remember Kong having parents in Skull Island, which I guess makes him (or his mom) an outlier if we're roping him into the monsterverse. Though the continuity for any of these stories is very loose (in KotM there are kaiju on every continent, but GvK is 3 years later and all of them... left? Everything's normal now. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you? And then Godzilla rolls up in Hong Kong and trashes it. There's one shot of a "kaiju bunker" or whatever, but no other preparations or any sort of contingencies for what to do if attacked by world-destroying monsters which last happened 3 years ago).

Anyway I hear there's another Godzilla movie coming out this year, and one called GodzillaXKong which I can only hope is the shipper movie we've all been waiting to see!! ;b

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

Someone anyone pls. My boyfriend has unfortunately had his phone broken so I haven't been talking with him, and I feel so lonely 😞 Also ALL OF MY FRIENDS LIVES ARE CRUMBLING APART?? My friend just broke up with her boyfriend, because of her mental health, but I suspect that it might be because of the boy she's been flirting with on the side. My other friends sibling is breaking up with their douche of a man, thank goodness. Two OTHER friends, who are literally bestfriend and have been for years, have been fighting eith eachother amd separating from our little group?? Also my dads been talking about death and I find myself looking at baby pictures of me and him with my grandma and great grandma, crying about thinkinf that I'm gonna be the only one alive in that picture some day. It also dawned on me that he's like the only person that I KNOW I'll have until we perish. We were watching mamma mia, and the whole time I kept thinking that I wished my mom loved me like Donna loved her daughter, and mentioned how I'd like to move into a little island or something. I guess my dad saw me holding back tears during the "slipping through my fingers" song, because he told me we could move to Alaska just he and I. (That's his dream place) PLEASE IM SOBBING THINKING ABT THE FACT HES NEVER BEEN.

Anyways, it made me think of my goal in life, and its to someday bring my dad to Alaska with me. Regardless if hes with me, just inside an urn. (I'm being so dead serious, I love my dad even if I went through some shit for most of my childhood. He's like the only person in my life who has stepped up, and made an actual change in his behavior for MY sake. It's admirable, and I've always been my fathers daughter. I'm just more proud to say it now after everything hes been through, and the changes hes gone through for my well being.)

I apologize about the rant, I fear that I've been holding that within me for so long. My friends don't really care about my personal life, and sometimes I'm glad that I keep it that way. ANYWAYS.

I realize that I haven't been in your asks, but I did follow through with that strike. Stayed off my phone unless it was to check about the updates for Palestine, and reposting. Didn't buy groceries, I even stopped going to classes for the time being. I'm sad to know that it's not getting any better, and I'm ashamed to say that my little town has very little businesses that DON'T support Israel. So I can't really avoid buying things from those places :(

Been keeping up with your writing though, for the most part. I'm very sad that it will come to an end, but I'm excited to see the ending. I'm ALSO EXCITED FOR INUMAKI 😻😻😻😻😻

Anyways, gonna go shower because I feel like a dirty corndog that was dropped at a fair. Wish me luck that I don't run out of warmish water, I always seem to do so because my hair is so hard to manage and I have like 10 different products that I have to put in it. (I'm being dramatic, I usually sit and let it do it's thing while I sing the weekend and deftones. 😞)

GOODNIGHT STAY WARM!!!!

Xoxo 👽

don’t wanna be mean but i’m glad ur bf broke his phone 😊 BUT JESUS WHY R ALL UR FRIENDS LIVES SIMULTANEOUSLY IN SHAMBLES ??? LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ???😭😭 that’s crazy… hopefully the two that have been friends for years figure their stuff out…

mamma mia will get u… it always will… (i’ve never seen it) BUT HE SAID U COULD MOVE TO ALASKA JUST U N HIM STOP IM SOBBING OH MY GOD??? that sounds like a very good life goal bae!! i’m sure he’d love that whether he’s actually with u or in an urn like u said!! and i’m super glad you have him and that he stepped out to make a change in himself for u i love that for u bae :( DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE RANT ITS OKAY I DONT MIND !!

u haven’t but it’s okay!! i know you’ll pop up eventually LMFAO and yay for following through with the strike!! i really hope a lot of other people did as well.

YAY SO GLAD YOUVE BEEN KEEPING UP WITH MY WRITING N ARE EXCITED BAE🤞🤞🤞

A DIRTY CORNDOG THAT WAS DROPPED AT A FAIR HELEOEMEME LMFOAOA ENJOY UR SHOWER!! (whats ur favorite the weekend and deftones song…)

[minieggukie]

You don't have to post this (I know it'll be controversial, but Letter is beautiful and I just need to share this with someone 😭) but Jimin also sings in Still With You. If you listen to the very last part of the song (the second phone call part) that's actually Jimin singing. You can really tell if you loop the song.

I discovered this back in 2020 completely by accident and have been waiting for someone, anyone online to pick up on this but nothing. I even tried to clue a few bloggers in, but the few I tried to talk to were hesitant to believe it because JM isn't credited and it's "for ARMY." But they've been sending love to each other through "ARMY" for years, and it's really not uncommon for artists appearing on other people's songs to go uncredited for any number of reasons. Like, for example, say the artist is singing a small part on a song his boyfriend wrote for him about a fight they had on a rainy day and he wants to pass it off as a song for their fans so they can release it. Just off the top of my head.

Anyway, when JK put an a capella version on Proof I thought for sure someone would realize Jimin was singing at the end!! Once all the music and most of the production is stripped away, it's very clearly Jimin's voice! But still, nothing.

Anyway, I saw your post about Still With You and Letter and I just had to tell you that I really believe they're companion songs, especially since jikook sing on both of them.

But listen to Still With You! I recommend wearing headphones and looping the song. Hearing Jimin sing at the end and then Jungkook sing at the beginning immediately afterwards really helps.

I listen to Still With You A LOT with earphones on at max volume and I have never heard Jimin's voice in there... I just listened to it just now and maybe it's the echo-y effect (idk the technical term lmao) that made it sound like Jimin. Idk, we'll never know unless they tell us but I've only ever associated Still With You with Jungkook. Any connection to Jikook because of the rain sound is my own speculation and wishful thinking lmao

If Jungkook says the song is for ARMY, then it's for ARMY. Trying to assign new meaning to the song can be disrespectful to the song's original msg and intention

I mean I totally get it because I thought I heard Jimin's voice in Stay Alive and there's the whole debate with the Euphoria live perf.. maybe someday we'll get our answers but for now I'm putting this in the 'maybe/unconfirmed' pile haha

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi!! i know you get a lot of music recs but i thought i might just add some of my own too bc i love the dear reader series sm and literally cannot stop connecting songs to it 😭

'favor' by julien baker is maybe a bit depressing but also some of the lyrics just seem so nico, like 'turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favour' and saying how hard it is to be tender and all (i feel like she has a lot of depressing songs which could be past nico-coded but not so much with his mental health getting better??)

but also more positively 'free treasure' by adrianne lenker which doesn't super feel like nico's style in terms of melody but the lyrics kind of fit to me, with things like 'you show me understanding, patience and pleasure' and 'just when i thought i couldn't feel more, i feel a little more'

also (last one!!) 'it'll all work out' by phoebe bridgers i can kind of see as nico either to bianca or to himself pre-transition - just kind of sad but healing at the same time

thank you for letting me ramble!! i love your work <3

AHHSDF YAY MORE SONG RECS sorry it took so long to get to listening to these but i'm here!!!

i swear julien baker (as well as lucy dacas) are artists that i keep telling myself i need to listen to bc i do love a lot of phoebe bridgers and boygenius songs and yet i never have😭 I WILL THIS SUMMER god i actually need to make a list of discographies to binge it's just hard forcing myself to listen to new musiclksjfd

but anyway onto the songs!!

you are SO real about depressive songs being so nico, and honestly even though his mental health is getting better, the problems don't always go completely away! i think it's very natural for him to still have those depressive songs, because like, he is still struggling with depression and ptsd and definitely still has bad days, and uses music as a way to vent :/

as for favor, these lyrics are SPOT ON but what stood out even more was the production on first listen, like it's such a nico coded song from everything from the lyrics to the production and i just love it?? god i have a playlist of songs that i want to add to albums and this is going straight there, at this point i have so many songs that i don't have the timespan to possibly have nico release all of them but i'll just keep in mind for possible future playlists😭😭 i absolutely love that one!! the lyric you pointed out is literally so real, and also "how long do i have until /i've spent up everyone's goodwill?" is just SO nico coded oh my god😭it's definitely him in high school coded, just thinking every now and then of like why he ended up where he did :/ and "who put me in your way to find? what right had you not to let me die?"LKSDJFDSJF IM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS NOW WTF im gonna keep listening to it all day and stressing over which possible album i could fit it in because i'm like out of room but also aghsldkfjsldf it needs to go somewhere

anyway. NEXT ONE

these lyrics😭😭i wanna cry this is just him finally feeling comfortable and happy and content with his life and with will and AHGSLDFJ THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY "we're sitting on the kitchen floor / just when i thought i couldn't feel more / i feel a little more" LIKE. THEY'RE JUST. SOULMATES. I LOVE THEM. AND I LOVE THIS.

(just scrolled back up and saw that that was the lyric that you put into the ask and that was a total coincidence but just goes to show your idea was absolutely perfect like spot on)

now onto phoebe!! i've listened to stranger in the alps a few times but i don't think i heard this one before which is odd, but then again i don't listen to phoebe as much as i'd like :/

but holy shit. i wish i heard this earlier. this one is 100% going on an album i just need to figure out which one bc it's literally perfect wtf. "when she needed me i wasn't around" talking abt when bianca died and he wasn't there, and then "now the wind is high and the rain is heavy" the RAINSDLFJ all i can think abt is nico thinking abt bianca when his dad died and the same sorta situation :// "never goes away, but it all works out" is just him finally trying to work through the trauma over the years and him finally coming to a time of like sort of peace? and contentedness in his life??

also idk why but my first thought at the lyric of "better off with him than here with me" was hearing it as "better off with Him" as in like referring to god and heaven, "than here with me" :(( i know that's 100% not the og meaning but that's how i initially interpreted it (bc i was already thinking of biancaksljdf) and probably how i'll continue to see it😭😭

anyway these were SUCH beautiful recs omg thank you so so much <333 i shall now scour through my playlists to try and find spots for them!!! worst comes to worst i'll have to move a few other songs into being unreleased songs, or singles, and maybe make a playlist of unreleased songs, and another for singles, we'll see!

[groovypizzalizard]

🧜‍♀️ - I think I would be a deertaur. Like no explanation just deertaur not centaur I find them so cool idk why.

🦄 - I would choose some kind of creatures that probably is some sort of opossum mixed with flowers or a spider cat. But if I choose an "real" one it would be an owl bear.

☁️ - My favorite type of weather is when it's autumn you know it's rainy (It have humidity in the air but it's not exactly raining) and there's that smell of humid dead leaves. It reassures me a lot.

🪽 - I mean if I think well and remind my childhood dream to become a faery/witch I would choose the faery wings even if the birds ones sounds pretty cool and would probably be more resistant.

🍄 - 1. Wtf did I ate a mushroom without knowing what it is.

2. Probably shape shifting like in animal or the power to heal everything.

🌺 - EVERYTHING. Like I love plants so much It would have trees, flowers, cactus, and pretty much everything that could be grown I would at least try to take care of it. Even weeds and mushrooms like if it's not hurting the other plants I would try to keep them alive.

🌙 - ♾️ more happy and productive during the night.

✨ - Wish to be reborn where I can do something to help other. Or wish to became someone that can fight for others.

🍰 - If I bake a cake for describe myself it would look messy af 😭. Probably rainbow sparkles everywhere and they'll still be in some place of the kitchen after years. Anyway I don't really know how to answer that question but :

-It would be a lemon cake or at least it would had lemons in it (if you ever heard the song lemon boy by cave town you know)

- loooooot of sugar probably too much sugary but with the lemons it balances a little bit.

-flour and eggs for trying but failing to keep the things together because I've forgot baking powder so the cake didn't have the chance to rise.

☕ - I'm not really into social events so I probably invited my best friends, if I can do a tea party mad hatter style I would definitely do it because I'm a huge fan of Alice in wonderland, TONES of cakes and pastry because sugar addiction lol. Also I really like decorating things and setting tables so the aesthetic of it would be very sophisticated (definitely using 18th tea set or like weird thrift ones that look like strawberry and other things x)).

🎨 - I'm not good at painting (I've never really tried too but like I didn't practice a lot) but I would rather be able to use painting a portals to new world because for me art is a way to escape reality (any form of art).

🏔️ - If I was capable of that I probably do something who look like a DND campaign.

🕯️- I really hope that one day, I live alone in a little farm in the woods with a little pounds with tones of ducks and plenty of plants and flowers. Yeah I know it's cliché cottagecore but like I would like it of more of a goblincore way.

🔮 - Not very fancy but one day I was finishing a ritual for Cernunnos and mid way through it I saw a deer through the window. We had an prolonged eye contact lol. I idk It was kinda mystical in a good way.

💌 - Yes, it's part of my love language. I'm a writer after all. x)

N/A: English is not my first language so sry for the mistakes.

Whimsical Asks

🧜🏻‍♀️ - If you were a mythical creature what would you be, and why would you choose that?

🦄 - You are gifted a mythical creature as a familiar what creature are you choosing?

☁️ - Describe in detail what your favourite type of weather is.

🪽 - Which would you rather have: The wings of a bird, wings of an angel, or wings of a faery?

🍄 - Uh oh! You accidentally ate a strange, glowing mushroom with magical properties. What magical gift would you want it to give you?

🌺 - If you could have a magical garden, what would you grow in it?

🌙 - Are you more lively during the day, or the night?

✨ - You see a shooting star! Tell us your wish!

🍰 - If you were baking a cake to describe yourself what ingredients are you using?

☕️ - Plan a tea party! What will you be serving and who are you choosing as guests?

🎨 - Would you rather be able to use paintings as a portal to new worlds, or be able to make anything you paint become real?

🏔️ - If you created your own magical world, what would it be like?

🕯️ - What are your secret dreams and hopes?

🔮 - Describe your most magical experience.

💌 - Have you ever, or would you ever, give(n) someone a handwritten love letter?

[reilliane]

reilliane- RELI- alternate universe where Kazuha actually buries his wanderlust under the dirt and enjoys life with v!mc(who obv knows what kazuha’s doing and subtly makes him wander out abit more by sending him on errands.) for a few years, but every kazuha must submit to their desire to wander.

or, or — now this one is albedo—, rhinedottir actually made 2 prototypes. the first being a female one she created as a test and pretty much made on a whim(this one was co-created by alice. rhine did all the alchemic-sciency-frankenstien things while alice created the look and gave them a name[rhine wanted to just name her ‘prototype #1 ; test’ and alice went “NOPE :D!” slams a sheet of paper with names listed on it onto the table, “Pick a name, any name! All are lovely!”[i imagine she says it like those circus ppl who are like, advertising their show or smth].). the second (primodial) being a male and being, basically the ground layout for her most prized possession, albedo.

Both of them ([name] <- bc w/ this i dont read ‘yen’ & primodial guy) being thrown away and fed to durin</3. They both aid each other in leaving the (now dead) dragon’s stomach. Primodial goes on a path of inferiority complex and revenge or smth, while [name] just lives life🤷‍♀️. She bumps into Albedo — he legitimately froze when he saw her, he had seen his master’s notes and drawings of her previous two ‘failed’ homunculi. he thought that they were.. well, dead though. but then again he had gone through the whole ‘who’s who?’ fiasco with his bitter imposter. — and just smiles, tilting her head to the side and her eyes, though dull and emotionless, carry a familiar sparkle from his new family. “albedo” she says his name with an unsure voice, eyes never leaving his almost as if she was inspecting him. “was it? sorry, i wasnt exactly around when master planned you.”

Albedo flinches and immediately covers her mouth with his hands. To outsiders, an uncharacteristic move. To her and whomever may know of their origins, a panicked and fearful move desperate to keep it under the rug. “Sorry.” She removes his hands, “Let’s talk in that freezer-lab, yeah?”

-🦧i just love that albedo brainrot and i tried writing a fic outta it in my own blog but just ended up posting a wip😔 anyway, [Name] is alice’s ‘first’ daughter. So big sister![Name] and little brother!Albedo(+primodial) and little sister!Klee :DD (also, also, maybe [name] has a bit of alice’s personality). Mm, bed time for real now.

Kazuha sacrificing his desire to wander (albeit for a short while) in order to just live life with MC :((( my hart, my hART

Ofc MC's still aware that Kazuha probably wants to wander n all, I like to think she hints that her bro can do as he wishes. She'll be fiiiiiine~

When the time comes that Kazu prolly does want to go, he'll invite nee-san the same way he did in Resolve. Cause cmon, MC may not have a vision but she has a superpower and that's called being a nee-san-/SLAPPED

aw, kazu hungry? no worries, she can whip up a feast even out in the wild.

is that a hilichurl about to smack him?? pUNCH ‾͟͟͞(((ꎤˋ⁻̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o

the prICE For THiS ProDUcT Is maDLy HIgh? She didnt learn all those lessons for nothing, she about to talk business with a 🤗🤗 face

—

(i felt that reading y/n as 'yen' LMAO though in my case i read it yin JSDHAJKDHAS)

that idea is cool! just albedo gaping like "omygo i heard about you sis"

imagine primordial just showing up to enact revenge and instead finds his twin with albedo lmao 😭💀

he's like, unleashing this elsa snowstorm then sees MC along with the group and then trying to take it bacK LIKE:

"YAW WHAT THE SHUCK ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE??? GET BACK HERE WOMAN THIS INSTANT"