#anyways i just had the most mid date of my life. i say this as a person that has been on maybe 3 dates total.

[boystalkr]

im not meant for the dating scene maybe. i just need romcom shit to happen to me bc i cant do this.

[trulyumai]

making it right

—pairing: eddie munson / reader

synopsis: feeling guilty for the harsh words he gave you, eddie tries to make it right. will you forgive him or could this be the end of the iconic couple?

—warnings: none, just eddie being whipped for reader and groveling over his actions.

a/n: I love writing about Eddie so look for future works coming soon!

It was Friday night, most highschool seniors would be out partying, getting drunk and making out with some random person in the corner of the room. 

But not you. 

Laying flat on your bed, your rotary phone lays against your ear with the wire stretched to the max. Your friend had been rambling onto you about Eddie, how it wasn’t right he treated you like that, you were too good for him, the usual. 

Charlotte, the rambling girl was always saying how you deserved better. Even tried to set you up with a couple athletes from the school. 

Ever the shy introvert you turned out to be, it was awkward trying to turn down such boys; always immature about the situation. Saying they didn’t want to date anyway, yada yada. 

“I can’t believe you’ve gone this far with him,” Charlotte's voice rang out and your fingers twirled up in the phone's cord. Idly twisting and turning with the coils as you zoned out unconsciously. “I mean, look how he dresses for god's sake. Does he even own a shower?” Suddenly, a tapping ensued upon your window. 

It was slow at first, until it gradually picked up and you could ignore it no longer. 

“Char, I gotta go but I’ll call you back.” Interrupting her mid sentence the phone smacked down on the dial. 

Toes meet the wooden floor, you cautiously made your way to the locked window just in front of your bed. Peering out, nothing came into view. 

Dink! 

Something smacked the window hard, hard enough to leave a little chip in the glass. 

“Hey!” Having enough, you aggressively shoved the glass up, going as far as to shove half your body out the crevice to catch the perpetrator in act. 

“—sweetheart!” And there he was in all his glory. Eddie Munson. 

And was that… marshmallows in his hand? 

“Sorry.. I couldn’t find any rocks so this was the next best thing.” A goofy smile lit up his features. And you wanted to cry. 

You missed him so much, that was true. But he was such an asshole you couldn’t help but ignore him for days on end, disappointed in the way he embarrassed you. 

“Go away!” Squinting at the man you moved quickly back in, shrinking into the darkness that swallowed your room. 

“Wait, wait, please!” Eddie begged. Setting the snacks and candies on the ground the man opened his arms wide. “Please just let me hold you? I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry.” 

You tugged on the drapes, ignoring his incessant pleas for comfort. 

“I brought snacks… your favorite! And I bought that cassette you left at my place, I'm finally ready to give it up!” No matter how much Eddie complained about your music choice, he had such a soft spot for you he made you a cassette for your last birthday. Full of classics and “overrated,” songs, Eddie had so nicely put it. But after one night of staying over, you accidentally left it at his trailer. And the man never returned it. Secretly, he had been playing it in his room, over and over when he missed you. 

So it’s been used quite frequently these past couple of days. 

“You embarrassed me, Eddie.” 

“I.. I know sweetheart I’ve regretted it every minute since. I just worry for you.” 

You snapped back into view, hands gripping onto the bottom of the frame. 

“It’s not your concern, It's my life Eds. If I want you in it, there shouldn’t be a rule.” 

The curly haired man winced. Seeing you so angry made the man ball up upon himself. 

“You’re right. Absolutely. But being with me will forever mark you, honey.” 

Tears burned at your eyes, your fingers tried to brush them away before they cascade down the grooves of your cheeks. 

Seeing you so hurt, Eddie couldn’t help but sprout a few tears of his own. 

Shaky hands gripped at his jeans and he no longer felt the confidence surge through him. 

What if this was actually it? 

“I don’t care about stupid reputations, why can’t you see that? I care about us, our lives, our future. The little house you promised me and the porch you swore you’d build.” 

A wet laugh escaped Eddie as he remembered such a scene. You were lying in his bed, scraping nails against his wild hair as the man listened to your dreams—aspirations. You told him how you’ve always wanted a forever home with a garden right in front. He didn’t hesitate to promise such a thing to you. Even now he held it in his heart. 

“I want that too sweetheart, more than anything.” 

Man did he look pathetic, barely catching a wink of sleep Eddie looked more chaotic than usual. 

He did look sorry… empathy corroded up your bones, slowly gnawing away any contempt you once held for him. 

“Let me come up, please?” A brash side of you wanted to say no, to flip him off and take some recommendation from your friends. But who were you kidding? It was your Eddie. The man who would hold your hair back when you got sick, the man that would buy you little trinkets and find rocks that he thought you would like. 

You wanted him to stew in the pot of sadness for just a little longer, so a remark left your lips and it couldn’t be pulled back. “What's stopping me from moving on, from dating someone like… Steve?” 

A tight ball of jealousy nested into the man, with tight fists Eddie felt his brows furrow, blue veins sprouted from his knuckles and he could only choose to shake off such irreplaceable words. “Steve, baby? Like that man could make you half as happy.” 

“He wouldn't have yelled at me like that.” Eddie's eye twitched instantly, what was with this new attention on Steve, did he say something, did he already make a move on his girl? 

No way in hell.

“Okay, okay. I see what you're doing sweetheart. But would Steve wake up in the middle of the night to check on you? Would Steve drive you home everyday and rub your back every night?” The man went on. “Or know you're sad when you can’t make eye contact, know that you love blueberry pancakes with a touch of powdered sugar-” 

“Okay, okay I get it!” You smiled, dimples adorning your cheeks. Eddie looked purely smitten, glancing at you with wide eyes and wet lips, a tongue poking out every so often out of nervousness. 

Lightly shuffling on both feet, you nodded to him, signaling for him to come up which earned a high pitched squeal in return. Realizing how unmanly that was, the guitarist cleared his throat before moving.�� 

Big arms wrapped around the various candies littering your lawn, pressing them in his jacket the man began his climb. 

With each foot scattering across the various stones that stuck out of your outside wall, Eddie began his ascent. 

“Careful!” You breathed, always nervous watching the lanky man carelessly move across the material. With how much he had crawled his way up, finger marks dotted the dirt that lay upon the sides. A clear indication of his many adventures to your room. 

“Do not worry, fair maiden, I—oh,” the open bag of marshmallows dribbled down from their container. With light smacks you heard them making contact with the grass below and Eddie brushed out a laugh of embarrassment. “I’ll buy you new ones.” He promised. 

Rolling your orbs you helped pull him in. Grabbing at his jacket you backed up. The man fell unceremoniously onto your floor with a loud slam before shaking it off and grabbing at your form. 

His breath dusted across your neck, light kisses found their way up your face until one was pressed onto your smooth lips— it was soft, just a peck as the man was scared to come off as too desperate and for you to shove him off in disgust. 

No thing happened, you happily embraced his warm presence. You had no idea just how much you missed him until the familiar musky scent entered your senses. It was almost heavy—sweet with a pinch of cinnamon and some kind of deodorant. 

Eddie groaned, falling onto his knees in front of you, as if praying to your very being. Wide hands played out onto your hips, pulling you in even closer until his chin rested upon your belly button. 

Now fully looking up, you could see how his eyes lit up against the moonlight— wet and remorseful. 

Your hands gathered around his face, with brittle movements you swiped them against the tear stricken cheeks. He leaned in further, not leaving an inch to be spared between the two of you. 

A smile, so content and relaxed appeared onto the man. He held so much love in his orbs, you couldn’t help but smile back in return. 

“You're such an idiot.” Although the words sounded harsh, they were mulled over with honeydew eyes and soft spoken affection. 

Eddie let out a closed lip laugh, one that was deep, it  reverberated through his chest before a response came out.

“At least I'm your idiot.” 

Maybe you weren’t at some party or hanging out with friends. 

But at least you had your Eddie. And that’s all you could ever need.

----

----

Taglist below!

@itzkawaiix @nika-sophie05 @anukulee @littlefreckles4 @mylovelycrazyworld @ali-r3n @need-a-life-or-grass @undercoverlover420 (If i forgot anyone, please do not be afraid to let me know and I apologize in advance!)

[changbinsboobs]

MTL Skz's bodycount?

Highest/currently active:

I.N - for him im seeing seeing straight up casanova vibes. He just likes the thrill, he likes quickies, he likes ons, he likes charming someone and he does thrive on that energy. Im seeing him being very much into that kind of life right now and being very sexually active with lots of people.

Changbin - for him im seeing he gets infatuated very easily, but is not that serious (also from readings I've done on him on my own i see him constantly in and out of relationships so makes sense). Taking Koreas wild dating culture into consideration and that going on 3 dates means ur an official couple and what not im seeing him having had LOTS of girlfriends, and of course sleeping with them as well, so... would not say a fuck boy, but he has definitely stuck it in a lot of 👌🏻....why does it have to be my bias thats such a turnoff😭😭😭 anyways

Depends:

Seungmin - i think he has had A LOT of endeavors before (probably more than changbin and i.n combined) but as of now im seeing him being more into a "settle down" state of mind so since he's not whoring around anymore i decided to put him in this category since i can't know for sure who has had a larger number, but i can feel who embodies what kind of energy and he doesn't give manwhore anymore like the other two so yeah, he gets 3rd place.

Felix - also was fing around a lot, not quite as much as seungmin tho, but now he has a higher purpose and has abandoned temptation and the ways of sin⛪️ also i see him having lots of regret and some other sorts of pain associated with his past sexual activities. Im seeing he desires cleanliness or like...something of that sort.

Hyunjin - has a lot if admirers, he likes feeding into it a bit but he doesn't really sleep around, he's really picky and i don't see him getting infatuated quickly with just anyone that gives him attention. So i think he's way more mindful than any of the members before, about who he sleeps with. So from here on i would say he is mid, cuz he still sleeps around or has done it, but its significantly less than the others, and im seeing him having actual standards and...not to sound mean or anything but i see him going to bed with quality people...contrary to the rest i don't see them being very mindful (and demure) about who they take to bed and who they stick it in...ugh why are men like that😭

Low:

Chan - he is very balanced. I like this energy. Didn't expect that from him to be honest but i think he mostly sleeps with people that he has long term connections in, most likely within a stable long term relationship. If not, than at the very least im seeing long term, trusted, respectful fwb.

Han - he's very devoted and has sex when there's strong emotions and a deep bond between him and the other person. I don't think he sleeps around AT ALL and ONLY does it within a stable, strong, long term relationship and is all about that. Being loyal and pick about who you open yourself up like that. Who ur being vulnerable with and who's trusting you to be vulnerable around u.

Lee Know - truly gives me ace tbh i really didn't expect that. I can see him having tried something here and there, maybe even still doing it whenever he must, but he shows me complete dessinierest. Like he gets lots of offers, interest, attention etc - but he does not care about that one bit. Im seeing him just minding his own business, so if u ask me i don't think he's really sexually active right now, if he is then its because of obligation more than interest. And overall i don't think he has had done sexual stuff mit many people, and even if he does, i don't see him really caring about it which...idk i keep hearing "it doesn't count, cuz i wasn't really there". So yeah do with that what you want.

[sapphossparenoterbook]

Reader has antler tattoos on their lower stomach… they remind Lottie of other times…

Post!Crash, no Switzerland AU

It’s the last few weeks of college before the summer break kicks off properly, but it’s still incredibly hot, especially in the lecture halls.

Most guys are wearing tank tops and jorts, and most girls are wearing crop tops and skirts-really, just anything to try and keep the sweltering heat at bay and stop the heatstroke from getting so bad that people pass out half way through lectures about the development of common law or something. It was the first day you’d really succumb to the heat and let yourself wear that crop top you’ve been putting off wearing forever now, but a heatwave has come in, and even thin t-shirts was unbearable now.

You’d recently started talking to a photography major, she’d wanted to do something else, but didn’t get the qualifications in high school because of some big life-changing event that she doesn’t share any details on. Except a quick google search would find out exactly what it was… anyway, Lottie “I wanted to study law, too!” Matthews had told you to meet her under an oak tree in the centre of the courtyard, so that’s where you caught her snapping pictures of people passing by that she liked the look of. You’d been talking to her for a few weeks now, been on a few dates… it was fun, she was hot and easy to talk to.

“Are those for your course, or your wank bank?” You ask mockingly from behind her, making her jump mid *snap!* of her camera. “Hey! You ruined my photo—“

Lottie cuts herself off at the sight of your tattoos. You’d told her you had them when you started talking, but she didn’t realise how beautiful they’d be.

Antlers.

Just like her old crown, back in the Wilderness, tattooed onto your lower stomach. Lottie used to wear antlers so similar when the other girls would kill in front of her, would dig their teeth into the flesh of their dead murdered friends for the chance to see another desolate day. You’d said something about the metaphorical regeneration that you admired in deer, about their antlers growth cycle, and how you got the tattoo because of it being meaningful to you.

“Hey? You okay?” You ask her, and she snaps out of her daze like state to give you a grin and grip at your hips, running her thumbs in a soothing caress over the tattooed antlers. “I’m perfect” she says. And, yeah, technically she is. She’s medicated, and attending therapy, and coping. She’s perfect in the sense she’s doing so much better… but she felt like something was missing. Her crown, her leadership. That’s what was missing, that’s what her heart and soul screamed for in the quiet of the sleepless nights, bed too soft to sleep in after so long on the cold, hard floor of the dirt.

Lottie understands now that she had no power other than being respected by her teammates. She’s perfectly sane. Her crown now, was etched into your skin with ink, perfectly aligned with the top of her head when she’s between your legs. She used to dig her teeth into flesh, and bite. But now, she digs her teeth into your flesh, and sucks.

—————

Sorry if this is a bit shit, haven’t written in a while!!

[vamptizm]

vi. MISSION JEALOUSY — p.bueckers

pairing: paige bueckers x clover amar (oc)

synopsis: in which paige bueckers and clover amar, two uconn wbb stars, have an ongoing mission of making each other jealous and outdoing the other.

warnings: angst. explicit language. that’s it i think.

word count: 3.6k

note: this took me soso long i apologize, i’m just not satisfied with this whatsoever. this series will not be revolving around just smut, so obv it’s not going to be in every or every other chapter. idk how long i’ll make it, but most of my chapters are rather short so probably double in the digit chapter count. yeah anyway thank u for being patient and reading this (i loveee comments of any kind so pls don’t hesitate to leave those)

series masterlist

Clover sat across from Vanessa in a quaint little sushi restaurant downtown, her fingers idly tracing the edge of her water glass as she tried—really tried—to focus on the conversation. The dim lighting cast a warm glow across the table, the soft murmur of voices and clinking plates filling the space between them. Vanessa was mid-sentence, her voice light and animated as she recounted a story from work, but Clover wasn't listening.

She couldn't.

Everything about the evening felt... off. The restaurant, the atmosphere, even the date itself.

Vanessa had been the one to suggest this place, raving about it for days until Clover finally agreed to go. It was supposed to be a fun night out, a break from the monotony of campus life and basketball practices. But instead, the girl found herself counting the minutes, waiting for the check to arrive so she could call it a night.

The truth was, she hadn't been feeling it from the start. Not the date. Not Vanessa. 

Vanessa was kind. Sweet. Energetic in a way that most people found contagious. Her laughter was bright, her gestures animated, and her eyes sparkled with sincerity whenever she looked at Clover. She was someone who wore her heart on her sleeve, someone who loved openly and fiercely, someone who deserved the same in return. 

But Clover wasn't that person. 

She wasn't someone who gave her heart away easily. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she had it in her to give it away at all. 

Relationships had never been her thing. The idea of commitment, of letting someone get close enough to see her cracks and flaws, felt like a weight she couldn't bear. Vulnerability wasn't something she handed out freely—it was something she locked away, hidden behind witty remarks and carefree smiles. And still, Vanessa wanted more. 

Something serious. Something Clover couldn't give. 

"...and maybe next weekend we could check out that new art exhibit?" Vanessa's voice pulled her back to the present. She was smiling, hopeful. Her hands rested on the table, fingers curled lightly around her glass. There was a certain softness to her expression, an eagerness that made Clover's chest tighten with dread. 

It was getting too much. 

"Hey, listen," Clover interrupted, her voice quieter than usual, the words slipping out before she could stop them. "We've already talked about this." 

Vanessa's smile faltered, just a little. Her brow furrowed as she tilted her head, confusion flickering across her face. 

"I told you," Clover continued gently, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve, "I'm not ready for anything serious." 

For a moment, Vanessa froze. Her lips parted as if to say something, but the words didn't come. Instead, she sat back in her chair, shoulders stiffening slightly as she processed Clover's words. 

"I know," Vanessa finally said, her voice quieter now, too. "But... I thought maybe if we took it slow, you'd change your mind." 

Guilt twisted in Clover's stomach, sharp and unforgiving. She hated this part — the part where things inevitably fell apart, where someone always got hurt. 

"I don't think that's gonna happen," she said softly, regret lacing her words. "You're... you're too good for me, Vanessa. It's not fair to let you act like my girlfriend when we both know it's not gonna happen." 

The words hung heavy in the air. 

Vanessa's face hardened, a flicker of hurt crossing her features before she quickly masked it. But Clover saw it — she always did. And it only made the guilt worse. 

"You show up to my games with signs," Clover added, her voice quieter now, her gaze dropping to the table. "You wait for me after practice. You plan dates, and you're always so thoughtful... I don't deserve any of that. And you know it." 

"Why wouldn't you deserve it?" 

The question came quickly, sharper than Clover expected. It caught her off guard, and she stilled for a moment, her thoughts scattering. 

Why didn't she deserve it? 

It was a loaded question, one one required an even more loaded and heavier answer.

Because she didn't appreciate it the way she should. Because it never felt like enough to change how she was. Because the butterflies Vanessa so desperately tried to give her never came—not from sweet gestures, not from thoughtful words or sex, not from anything Vanessa did. 

"Because I don't appreciate it," Clover finally said, her voice low, barely audible above the hum of the restaurant. "The way you'd like me to." 

Vanessa blinked, confusion clouding her gaze. 

"It doesn't... it doesn't do anything for me," Clover admitted after taking a deep breath, the confession weighing heavily on her chest. "It's not wooing me. It's not making me feel any butterflies. None of it. And I don't want you to keep hurting yourself trying to make it happen." 

Silence settled over the table like a heavy blanket. 

Vanessa's gaze drifted to the window, her jaw tight, lips pressed into a thin line. Her hand curled around her napkin, knuckles white. Finally, she nodded—a small, stiff motion that spoke of resignation more than understanding. 

The guilt was unbearable. 

Clover signaled for the check, pulling out her card before Vanessa could argue. She paid quickly, avoiding the waitress's curious gaze, and stood without a word. 

The silence in the car pressed down on Clover like a weight. The rain tapping against the windshield filled the space where words should've been. Vanessa sat in the passenger seat, gazing out the window, her expression distant and unreadable. 

Clover clenched the steering wheel tighter, her knuckles white. The guilt gnawed at her, twisting in her chest, but not in the way most people would expect. She didn't owe Vanessa anything — not her loyalty, not her heart. She had made that clear from the start. 

Still, something about the way Vanessa sat quietly, radiating disappointment, made the brunette’s stomach churn. 

Vanessa finally broke the silence. Her voice was quiet, but steady. "You're not a bad person." 

Clover exhaled, the lump in her throat tightening. 

"You're kind," Vanessa continued, her gaze still focused on the rain-slicked streets outside. "You're thoughtful. You care more than you want people to think. And I don't know why you keep trying to convince yourself that you're incapable of something real." 

Clover's chest tightened. 

She hated this. Hated that Vanessa saw her as someone capable of giving more than she actually could. Hated that Vanessa saw something in her that wasn't there. Or maybe, she just hated that she couldn't see it too.

The memory of Paige lingered — the weight of her touch still fresh on Clover's skin, the way her hands trembled slightly when they pulled Clover closer, the way their eyes met in that charged, unspoken moment. 

And then the look on Paige's face when Clover left. 

It had mirrored the one Clover wore the first time they'd crossed that boundary. She had been the one left standing there, confused and craving more while Paige walked away without a word. 

Tonight, it had been her who walked out, and she hated that it still hurt. That it felt so wrong.

Vanessa sighed, her tone softer now, like she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to reassure Clover. "I just... I thought maybe you'd change your mind. That maybe I could be the one to—" 

Clover cut her off before she could finish. 

"You're not the one." 

The words came out harsh, sharper than Clover intended, but she couldn't take them back. The truth was too raw to sugarcoat. 

Vanessa flinched, her lips pressing into a tight line. She nodded slowly, as if piecing everything together, realizing how deeply she had misread the situation. 

"I see." 

Silence returned, heavier than before. 

Clover wanted to tell her that none of this was Vanessa's fault — that she hadn't led her on, that Vanessa deserved someone who wanted to give her what she was looking for. But it would've sounded hollow. Pointless. 

Instead, she tightened her grip on the steering wheel, her mind unwillingly drifting back to Paige. 

To the way Paige had looked at her, eyes burning with something Clover could never quite name. To the feeling of Paige's lips against hers, desperate and insistent. To the ache in her chest when she walked out of the room, the echo of her own footsteps on the hardwood floor sounding louder than they should've. 

And to the nagging thought in the back of her mind—almost like a whisper from the devil himself—that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't running away from love entirely. She was just running from the wrong person. 

"I had sex with someone else before this," Clover said suddenly, her voice steady but quiet, cutting through the silence like a blade. 

Vanessa blinked, startled by the blunt confession. 

"What?" 

"I had sex with someone else," Clover repeated, this time slower, more deliberate. "Right before this date." 

Vanessa's expression shifted — not to anger, not to betrayal, but to resignation. 

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Vanessa said after a long pause. There was no malice in her tone, just disappointment. "I thought I could be different. That I could make you want... more." 

Clover stared straight ahead, her chest hollow. 

"I told you from the start I wasn't ready for anything serious," she said, her voice steady but distant. "I wasn't lying." 

"I know." Vanessa's voice softened again. "But I hoped." 

And there it was — the difference between them. 

Vanessa was someone who hoped, who believed in love and connection. She thought that if she showed enough kindness, enough patience, she could win Clover over. That she could make her feel the way Vanessa felt about her. 

But Clover had stopped hoping a long time ago. The only person who ever made her feel anything real was Paige. 

And that terrified her more than it should.

Vanessa cleared her throat, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "Did it mean anything?" 

The question hung in the air, heavy and loaded. 

Did sleeping with Paige mean anything? 

Everything. 

"Not in the way you think," Clover lied, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Vanessa nodded again, her gaze dropping to her lap. "Right." 

The rest of the drive was silent, tension crackling between them like a live wire. 

When Clover finally pulled up in front of Vanessa's apartment, neither of them moved right away. Vanessa fiddled with the hem of her sleeve, and Clover kept her hands on the wheel, staring at the rain streaking the windshield. 

"I hope you find what you're looking for," Vanessa said softly, breaking the silence. 

Clover didn't answer. 

Vanessa gave her one last glance before stepping out of the car and disappearing into the building without looking back. 

As the door clicked shut, Clover let out a shaky breath. The weight of the evening bore down on her, but it wasn't Vanessa's disappointment that crushed her. 

It was the way Paige's name lingered on her mind like a brand, burning and inescapable. No matter how far she ran, no matter how many distractions she sought, Paige was always there. 

The way the blonde's gaze lingered a little too long during practice. The way her usually teasing and taunting voice softened when she checked in on Clover after a particularly rough game. The way her presence filled every empty corner of Clover's mind, no matter how hard she tried to push it away.

Because Paige had never just been a fleeting crush or a temporary obsession. 

It wasn't just admiration. It wasn't just complicated friendship. She had always been something more. 

It had been something more for a long time.

The apartment was quiet when Clover walked in, save for the soft clatter of a knife against what she assumed was a cutting board. She barely glanced at the kitchen, her mind clouded with exhaustion, her heart heavy with that same guilt. All she wanted was to crawl into bed and shut out the world.

But of course Paige was still up.

Clover cursed under her breath as she slipped off her shoes, hoping to make it to her room without incident. She knew how Paige operated. Knew the games she liked to play. And Clover wasn't in the mood for another round of it tonight.

"Late night?" Paige's voice cut through the silence, sharp and calculated.

Clover stopped in her tracks, her heart sinking. She set her bag down by the door, straightened, and took a slow breath before turning around. Paige was at the counter, slicing through an apple with a steady hand.

"Something like that," Clover said, keeping her tone flat.

Paige didn't look up. "Thought you'd be back later. Guess the date wasn't that great, huh?"

There it was. The edge in Paige's voice. That barely veiled disdain, like she was trying to poke holes into Clover's night without outright saying what she really felt.

Clover ran a hand through her straightened hair, none of her natural curls in sight. "It was fine."

"Fine." Paige repeated the word with a smirk, like it was a joke only she understood. She tossed a slice of apple into her mouth, chewed slowly. "Guess that's not exactly life-changing."

Clover's patience was already wearing thin. "Why do you care?"

Paige shrugged, finally meeting Clover's gaze. Her blue eyes were cool, assessing. "I don't."

The silence that followed was heavy, pressing down on Clover's chest. She could feel the unspoken tension between them, like a storm waiting to break. She shifted her weight, debating whether to walk away — but Paige wasn't done.

"You're wasting your time, you know," Paige said quietly, her voice softening. It wasn't a taunt this time. It sounded almost like a warning.

The brunette frowned. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Paige set the knife down, her hands resting on the counter. "These girls you fuck around with. They're not going to give you what you want."

Clover's chest tightened, brow raised in an almost challenging manner "And what exactly do you think I want?"

Paige tilted her head, her gaze never wavering. "Someone who makes you feel the way I do."

The air between them went still, heavy with meaning. Clover froze, her breath catching in her throat. Her pulse quickened, a mix of irritation and something else—something she didn't have the guts to name—coursing through her veins.

"That's overly cocky, even for you," She responded, her voice steady but strained.

Paige's lips curved into a smirk, but there was no humor in it. "Maybe. But I'm not wrong, am I?"

Clover's hands curled into fists at her sides. She hated how easily Paige got under her skin. How she always knew exactly what to say to make Clover doubt herself.

"God, you just say the dumbest shit sometimes." Clover muttered, turning toward her room.

"You're scared 'cause I'm right, Amar," Paige called after her.

Clover stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart pounded in her ears, a feeling of unexplainable dread and frustration clawing at her chest.

Paige's voice softened, almost teasing. "Went straight from my bed to her arms. You always like to rebound, don’t you?"

Clover spun around, her eyes flashing with irritation. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" the blonde questioned, feigning innocence.

"Make it sound like it meant something to you," Clover near to snapped. "Because it didn't. You made that clear the first time."

Paige's smirk faltered for the first time. Her gaze dropped for a moment before meeting Clover's again. "And yet, it keeps happening."

The words hung in the air, raw and vulnerable in a way Paige probably hadn't intended or planned.

Clover swallowed hard, the lump in her throat growing. "Yeah, 'cause we're both too fucked up to stop."

Paige's expression shifted—something between hurt and frustration flickering across her own face now. "Is that what you think?"

"What else is there to think?" Clover shrugged lazily. "We don’t do that healthy shit. That's how it's always been."

Paige pushed away from the counter, closing the distance between them with slow, deliberate steps. Her gaze never wavered, her expression unreadable.

"You keep saying that like it's a rule we mutually agreed on," Paige spoke quietly. "Like it's some fucked up contract we both signed."

Clover's back hit the wall. Paige was standing too close now, the scent of Clover's sweet vanilla perfume lingering in the air between them.

"Isn't it?" Clover whispered, her voice unsteady.

Paige's hand brushed a strand of hair away from the brunette’s face, a light, almost instinctive touch. But it sent a cold shiver down Clover's spine.

"Don't remember signing anything," Paige murmured.

Clover's heart was pounding, her mind racing. She hated this—hated how Paige made her feel out of control. Vulnerable. Exposed.

"You don't know what you want," Clover said, her voice deliberately bland and cold, despite the emotional chaos brewing inside of her.

Paige's hand lingered, her finger tucking the piece of hair behind Clover's ear. "Neither do you."

For a moment, Clover couldn't breathe. The tension between them was suffocating, the weight of everything unspoken pressing down on her.

"You think this is a game," Clover said, her voice barely audible now. "But it's not."

Paige's hand dropped away, and for a second, Clover saw something crack in her expression—a glimpse of vulnerability before the mask slipped back into place.

"It's not a game to me," Paige said softly.

Clover blinked, stunned into silence, though she didn't let it show.

But before she could say anything, Paige stepped back, the distance between them suddenly unbearable.

"Get some sleep," Paige said, her voice quieter now, almost gentle. "Gotta be up early for practice tomorrow."

Clover didn't respond. She watched as Paige turned away, heading back to the kitchen to finish her snack, leaving Clover standing there, harshly biting down on her tongue and heart aching with everything they couldn't say.

The sound of Clover's door closing echoed through the apartment, cutting through the thick silence like a blade. Paige stood frozen in the kitchen, staring blankly at the half-sliced apple on the cutting board. Her appetite was gone.

Her hands trembled slightly as she set the knife down, pressing her palms against the counter to steady herself.

'What the hell is wrong with me?'

Paige exhaled sharply, pushing herself upright. She rubbed the back of her neck, her fingers brushing over the faint mark Clover had left there earlier — a kiss, a bite, she wasn't sure which. It didn't matter. It wasn't supposed to matter.

This wasn't supposed to feel like this.

It was supposed to be easy. Fun. No strings, no feelings, no mess. That's how it worked. Clover hooked up with whoever caught her eye, Paige did the same. They'd judge each other, throw around meaningless jabs and at the end of the day they'd be fine. Back to being a team.

So why did it feel like her chest was caving in every time Clover walked away and into the arms of someone else?

Paige clenched her jaw, trying to swallow the frustration rising in her throat. She hated this. Hated feeling out of control. Hated how Clover had walked out on her earlier without a second glance — just like Paige had done with others so many times.

'Is this what it feels like?' she wondered bitterly. ‘To be the one left behind?’

She'd told herself it didn't matter. That Clover going on a date with someone else was none of her business. That it wasn't jealousy, just curiosity. But the sting in her chest said otherwise.

Because deep down, Paige knew the truth.

No one made her feel the way Clover did.

And that terrified her more than it should.

She grabbed the cutting board and shoved it into the sink with more force than necessary, the sound of it clattering against the metal louder than she intended. She winced, glancing toward Nika and Jana's rooms. No lights turned on. No doors opened.

The last thing she needed was a groggy Nika asking her why she was slamming things around at midnight.

Paige turned off the kitchen light and leaned against the counter in the dark, the faint glow from the streetlights outside casting shadows across the room. She could still hear Clover's words in her head, clear as day:

‘Because we're both too fucked up to stop.’

Paige ran a hand over her face, letting out a quiet, bitter laugh. "Yeah, no kidding."

She'd spent so long pretending she didn't care. Playing it cool, keeping her distance, convincing herself that what they had was just physical. But it wasn't. Not anymore.

And Paige wasn't ready to admit it.

She thought back to the way Clover had looked tonight — tired, defeated, like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Paige had wanted to say something real, to cut through the bullshit and tell her whatever truth there was.

But that truth was messy. Vulnerable. And Paige wasn't good at that.

Instead, she'd resorted to what she knew best: cocky remarks and passive-aggressive digs. It was easier to act like none of it mattered. To pretend that Clover's wandering eyes and restless heart didn't bother her.

But as hypocritical as it was, it did.

And that scared her more than anything.

Paige glanced toward Clover's room, her heart aching in a way she didn't quite understand. She thought about knocking on her door, saying something — anything — to break the silence between them.

But what would she even say?

‘I care about you. More than I want to. More than I should. And it's killing me.’

No. That wasn't her.

Paige pushed off the counter and headed to her own room, her footsteps quiet against the hardwood floor. She paused outside Clover's door for a moment, her hand hovering in the air like she might knock after all.

But she didn't.

Instead, she whispered into the silence: "Good night, Clover."

And with that, she walked away, closing her own door behind her.

taglist (open) @brenwritesss @bueckersbitch @starlighttsv @ekisokay @st4rrzynight @ohmybueckers @pbbucks

[themeraldee]

The Lucky Winner - Part 3

[Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2] | [AO3]

18+ Only | 10k | Homelander x fem!Reader | Early Season 1. Voice kink (very mild mention). Awkward first dates. Awkward dialogue. Messy timeline. Established Relationship. Love confession. Emotional sex. Unhealthy Relationship.

Summary: Your life turns upside down, again, when Homelander reaches out to you asking you out on a date.

Author’s Note: This is set between the events of Part 1 & Part 2. It really is just a self-indulgent excuse to explore some relationship building and dynamics. Lot of awkward dialogue so be warned.

The next time Homelander contacts you it catches you just as off guard as the first time. Maybe even more so. You never expected him to turn up in the first place, let alone be interested in seconds.

Your phone is ringing on the bed and ever since the development from a week ago you’ve been on edge anytime your phone rang. You drop the towel you’re folding back on the pile of unsorted laundry and you nearly dive onto the bed, reaching for your phone. In the panic you drop it about three times, your shaky hands inadvertently playing hot potato.

“Hello?!” You yell into the phone, panicked. You don’t actually end up checking who’s calling, too worried about not accidentally hanging up. Plus it’s not like you could have saved Homelander’s number from a week ago anyway. It showed up as blocked on your phone’s call logs so you had no way to recognise his number.

“Hello there! Nice of you to pick up.” You squeaked in surprise and the voice on the phone turned from chipper to confused. “You okay? You sound a little—” And oh my god, it’s him! You’re talking to Homelander, again. Okay, okay, now it’s time to try and keep calm.

His voice is still gloriously rich and sweet in your ear and here you are about to most likely embarrass yourself again because for the life of you you’re incapable of coming across as calm and collected.

“I’m fine!” You immediately cut him off, your voice shrill and strained. He does not need to know the ins-and-outs of your internal struggle. But either way you’re already doing terribly. Who are you to cut Homelander off mid-sentence? Where are your manners? 

“Why are you—um—I mean, is there anything you need?” You clumsily make your way through your response. Definitely not how you wanted to present yourself but it’s a lot better than barely being able to say a word like last time!

“I’m taking you out on a date. Get ready for 7 today.” You heard it. You’re pretty damn sure you heard that right, yet not a single part of you believes what he said.

“Sorry? W-w-what do you mean?” You sputter in confusion, your brain simply not capable of computing this news. 

“I mean that I’m taking you out for dinner. What’s hard to understand?” He sounds irritated and your heart is pounding. From so many things at once. How are you meant to process that Homelander contacted you again, is asking you out for a date and now you’ve managed to irk him?!

Before you manage to apologize, following your typical spiel, Homelander continues. “Maybe you don’t know this but it’s kind of what men do when they want to get to know someone. You following yet?” 

You ignore the condescending remark and instead you focus on what he’s actually saying.

There may as well be steam coming out of your ears, you genuinely feel like a blushing teenage girl talking to her crush. You’re hot bright red in the face and you feel the literal heat coming off your face.

“Yeah but you’re not—well of course you are—but also you’re not! Y’know, just an average Joe.” How do you go about explaining that you don’t feel worthy of that kind of attention?

“Doesn’t matter, you’re missing the point. Is that a no?” You’d think he would be pissed saying that, who in their right mind would refuse going on a date with Homelander, but he sounds amused more than anything. 

Again with the reading you like a book. Because you barely manage to let out a barrage of “No! No no no no— that’s not!” before Homelander starts laughing.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up then.”

“No, wait! I can’t—I can’t do the public thing. You’re you! And as soon as I show up in public with you I won’t be left alone. I know that’s normal for you, but my life isn’t like that. I’m just… me.” You’re just a nobody. You don’t have a social media presence. You don’t bring attention to yourself. And you like to keep it that way. Going on a public date with America’s golden boy himself? You would be ripped apart by the online vultures. 

You all but freak out on the phone and for a second you think he disconnected because you can’t hear a thing over the line but he suddenly speaks up.

“Oh well. We can’t have that, can we? You better have dinner ready at your place instead.” You don’t need to see him to imagine him with the biggest satisfied grin on his face. “I’ll be there at 7. Catch you later!”

Homelander hangs up on you and you hear the disconnected tone ringing in your ear as you stand there like a fish out of water. Mouth gaping open, letting out disbelieving stutters. 

You pull the phone away from your ear, looking down at it as if it offended you. It’s then you notice the time. Shit shit shit. You have less than four hours to make your place and yourself presentable, go on a grocery run and start cooking for Homelander?! What just happened!

“Oh no no no no. This is not happening.” You rub your hands over your face as if to wipe the shock off your face. You’re so overwhelmed with the rollercoaster of emotions that you don’t know whether to have a panic attack, laugh nervously or downright cry.

Okay, first of all the pile of laundry is gonna have to wait. You don’t have the time to meticulously fold your t-shirts and panties. You gather up the clean and dry laundry into your hands, haphazardly shoving it into the closet before closing the door on what will be an avalanche of laundry for your future self to deal with.

With pure panic-induced energy that you haven’t felt in a long while you manage to just about make your place presentable within an hour. Finally managing to gather and clean up the mugs and glasses that have been cluttering up your surfaces, making your bed all neat and tidy—just in case—and shoving all unnecessary clutter into cupboards. It’s not like Homelander would use his x-ray vision to judge the inside of your cabinets, would he?

Speeding your way out of your apartment you make your way over to the closest shop. Standing in the fresh produce aisle you suddenly realize you don’t actually have a plan. What the fuck are you meant to cook for Homelander?! Even after all the content you’ve consumed you’re pretty sure there’s not a single mention of his favorites. At least ones he’s not been sponsored to promote. Sure, he’s on many products, ranging from frozen peas to whole milk but that doesn’t mean it’s something he genuinely endorses. After all you want to get to know the man behind the costume, a date is not meant to be just another PR interview for him!

You’re starting to look strange. People are passing you while you’re internally panicking over what to buy. What if he’s allergic to something? What if he goes into anaphylactic shock and fucking dies! Even if you had an EpiPen or he carried it on him you wouldn’t be able to stab it into him anyway. And suddenly you’ve killed the world’s most beloved superhero and you’re spending the rest of your life in jail with Vought most certainly making sure you pay your dues. Even if all of that was true you had no way of knowing. It’s not like Vought would ever leak that kind of information. Not very good for their brand to tweet that their best superhero is allergic to fucking nuts!  

You shake your head a little, snapping yourself out of your dazed state. If Homelander’s brand is anything it’s that red-blooded American male perfect standard. Surely he wouldn’t complain about some steak dinner right? Men love steaks! You just make sure to avoid most common allergens. You pick up some potatoes and other vegetables to roast along with a good pricey cut of steak that was easily out of your budget.

You get home just as fast and with each passing second you’re more and more on edge. You don’t know whether it’s the anxiety coiling in your guts or the so called ‘butterflies’ but you’ve never been this nervous before. With the clock ticking and the food cooking you’re suddenly more and more paranoid over everything. From your insane Homelander merch collection to even just the furniture you’ve got! Not that that’s anything you can change in the next hour but your mind is running at a hundred miles an hour and you’re trying to account for everything. 

Just before it gets to the agreed time you change into something nice but casual, straight after shoving the laundry avalanche back into its place. You even leave the balcony door open, doubting he’s gonna knock on your door like a normal person. 

And while you’re there focusing on platting up your best attempt at steak and roasted vegetables, you hear the familiar sound of Homelander’s landing. You whip your head towards the wall clock with such urgency it’s shocking you don’t give yourself whiplash. 

Shit. It was literally 7pm. You wanted to set the table all pretty and prep it perfectly but you got so preoccupied with the place looking as good as it can that you lost track of time. You’re sure he’s used to luxury and perfection. You want to do your best to replicate that!

“Homelander!” Comes out of you with a little gasp. You tilt your head to look at him. And what you see makes your heart skip a beat. 

There he is, in his suited-out glory per usual, except this time he’s holding a bouquet of roses with a dashing smile on his face that quickly turns into a self-satisfied grin as he immediately notices your panic at his presence. Even after he thoroughly reduced you to a puddle of goo just last week you were still such a skittish uncertain thing around him. 

“Wow, smells delicious in here.” He looks around taking it in while inhaling the mouth-watering smell of sizzling steak.

Homelander steps closer with calculated steps, checking you out without an ounce of shame. You don’t know if it’s just the pure intensity in his eyes that has you feeling on edge or if he really is undressing you with his gaze. “These,” he frees your hand, prying your palm open with his gloved hand, “are for you.” He places the bouquet of roses into your palm, squeezing it shut around the wrapped stems.

In a way you’re paralyzed. The reality of the situation finally hits you and you realize you’re really here about to have a dinner date with Homelander. Who just brought you expensive, gorgeous flowers, because that’s something that totally happens to people like you.

You’re standing there, staring at the deep rich red of the roses that actually ends up matching the cardigan you put on for this. Your little attempt at complimenting the suit you knew he'd show up in. 

Your mind is going a million miles a second and your other hand squeezes a petal in between your fingertips. There’s droplets of water on the velvety surface. You didn’t realize it was raining at the time. You look past him through a window as if you could make out the weather through the darkness of the evening.

Looking at the roses now, they look beautiful, pristine. He flew here right? How did he manage to keep them in one shape with the speeds he flies at.

“H-how did you fly with—” You don’t even finish the question before he’s answering.

“I don’t have to fly at super speeds all the time. You’d think my most loyal fan would know that.”

“You can read minds too?” Falls out of your mouth before you even think about what you're saying.

“No. You’re just very easy to read.” He places his hands on his hips, naturally defaulting to his superhero pose. 

And sure, maybe the way your eyes move in between the window, him and the flowers is a dead giveaway but you still don’t think it’s that easy to figure out exactly how your thought process works. 

He seems unhappy with your lack of enthusiastic response. He probably expected you to jump at him, wrapping your arms around him in pure glee that he’d do such a romantic thing. 

He nodded towards the bouquet, raising his eyebrows.

“Anyway, your flowers. You might want to put them in some water. Unless you plan on fondling each petal all night.” You don’t know whether he said it that way on purpose or if your absurd attraction to his voice is reaching new heights but the imagery that conjures is not one that would belong at a dinner table. There’s a different kind of petal-fondling you have in mind for later.

“Sorry! I’m sorry. And thank you. Really, this is very kind of you. They’re beautiful.” Finally, he’s satisfied with that response, his shoulders relax a bit, his chest puffing out as he sees you hold the flowers closer to you.

You’re all over the place and your movements are in no way elegant or thought out as you awkwardly stumble around, pulling out the biggest glass you could find. This ends up being a large glass measuring jug which you admit looks rather strange, and you don't miss the way he raises his eyebrow at the display. 

Well, it was a lot better than if you used the bucket you keep under the sink for cleaning. It’s not like you have a perfect pretty vase ready for this occasion. Until now you didn’t have anyone bringing you flowers and you never really bought any for yourself.

He doesn’t comment on the miserable display. Instead he focuses on how wound up you are.

“Jeez, you’re even stiffer than last time. You know I usually fuck my dates after dinner, but if you need me to loosen you up…” His crude attempt at humor and breaking the ice just has your brain screeching and halting all actions. 

“What?! No, nonono. That won’t—That’s not. I’m sorry. I’m just surprised. That you’re here.”

“I did tell you I’d come. And I’m pretty sure you’re not plating up two plates for yourself there silly.” He shakes his head while clicking his tongue, as if disapproving of your doubt. 

“I mean, I’m surprised that you want to do this. With me.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m here aren’t I? Last time I checked I asked you out, not the other way around. And trust me sweetheart, I don’t do shit out of pity.” He walks closer to you, his hand patting the side of your arm, settling his hand there and sliding it up until he reaches your jaw. The leather of his glove is cold, some raindrops still stuck in the crevices.

Although your heart rate picks up, you smile genuinely. Getting the straightforward confirmation that he wants to be here with you warms your heart. “Alright.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have everything ready. I lost track of time. Do you mind just sitting down, I’ll finish up in a second.”

“Yup, can do.” He sits down at the small table slapping his palms on his thighs as he does so. Already peeling his gloves off, discarding the gloves at the edge of the table. 

You finish up the plating, trying to make it as neat as possible. You bring the plates over, one in front of him the other right opposite. “Um, do you drink beer? I got some in case you do. I know you do endorse some but I’m sure that doesn’t mean you have to consume it in your free time.”

“No thanks, never got the taste for it. Have you got milk?” 

You blank a little at the request. It’s not the typical pairing by any means but who are you to tell him what to like. Instead you comply, tucking away the little preference into the corner of your mind where you keep all your knowledge about him.

“Um, yeah. I do. Again, I got one you’ve done marketing for, just in case you did like it. I wasn’t really sure. Believe it or not there’s a lot I don’t know about you.” You admit. It’s not like everything that his Marketing team puts out is all real. You're sure they leave out any of his actual preferences so future advertisers don't clash with any competition.

“With this logic I’m surprised you didn’t buy the entire store.” 

“I was close to it.” You take the carton out of the fridge, shutting the door with your hip. “Do you want it warm or cold?” 

“Cold is fine.” You nod, pouring some into a glass placing it in front of him.

As a last touch you take two roses from the huge bouquet, popping them into a narrow tall glass filled with water and you place the romantic decoration to the side of the table before sitting down.

He strangely smiles at the gesture, something about it feeling awfully domestic. It may not be perfectly manicured but it's real and it does the job just as well. It's not a perfect setting made for a photoshoot. You're just trying to impress him with what you've got. All for his enjoyment only. And that alone makes it a lot more special. 

Suddenly being right across him really set the reality of the situation. You feel a little awkward about the setting. But there is really only so much you could have done with your small apartment. And it’s not like he hasn’t been here before. He knows what you're working with.

You watch as he cuts into the steak, stabbing it with his fork and bringing a piece to his mouth.

“Wait! You’re not allergic to anything right?!” You suddenly panic, feeling cold sweat pour over you at the thought of your irrational thoughts from earlier coming true. 

He looks thoroughly amused but he doesn’t answer and instead just takes the bite. 

“Are you always this worried on dates? Or do you get them to fill out a questionnaire beforehand?” He seems to enjoy throwing all these little jabs highlighting how much of a nervous mess you are in his presence. 

“I don’t usually cook for my dates on the first date. There’s usually nothing to worry about.”

“I did ask you out for dinner. This is your own doing missy.” He waved his fork at you, pointing at you being the one to blame.

“You think I’m—oh. I’m not complaining about this, oh my god! I just didn’t really know what you like! Surprisingly not a lot about that online. They really know how to keep you a mystery. And even superheroes have allergies! How was I to know whether you’ve got one or not? But even if you did, it’s not like Vought would release that information.” You ramble on, trying to explain yourself but you’re really just digging yourself a deeper hole. Not that Homelander looks particularly put off. If anything, the amused grin spreads to both corners of his mouth.

“You know I’m not here for the food right? Though this is not too bad. Didn’t think you had it in you.” He raises his eyebrows in appreciation. 

“I live on my own. I don’t know why you’re surprised to learn that I can cook for myself.” You said feigning offense but inside you were squealing at the compliment.

“When’s the last time you’ve had a date?” He changes the topic, with each passing moment he’s less interested in the food and a lot more honed in on you and what little secrets you can let him in on. Though he’s still happily nursing the glass of milk. 

“It’s been a while, I guess.” You’re overcome with this anxious feeling in your gut. Is it meant to be a dig at the date you’ve prepared? Is he saying that you’re not desirable enough to be dated?

He catches you off guard with his smug little smile. “Thought so. Guess you’re too busy being my biggest fan, huh?”

You nearly choke on your food, surprised and flustered by his words. The tell-tale sign of heat creeps up your neck and to the tip of your ears in embarrassment. He’s hard to read and you can’t tell whether he’s trying to humiliate you or if he genuinely enjoys the reminder of having someone fawn over him right there and then.

You put your cutlery down, softly clinking it against the plate. “Look, I’m really sorry about all that. I’m a fan but I’m not crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were.” The corners of his mouth comically pull down feigning innocence with a shrug.

You playfully roll your eyes. “You insinuated. I’m just saying I wouldn’t have all this stuff out if I knew you’d ever see it!” You wave your arm in the general direction of the rest of your humble apartment. Still littered with Homelander merch. If you had more time to prepare for the date you would have maybe even taken some of it down. Replace some posters with photos of friends or family, making you appear a lot more put together. But alas, your guilty pleasure is still blatantly obvious and out for anyone to see. It's all the worse that in this case it’s being seen by the featured star of your guilty pleasure himself.

“There’s no shame in being a fan.” 

“No, but it’s different to collect memorabilia and merchandise of a beloved superhero that you don’t ever expect to witness the madness and to actually have him see it all and feel objectified. As if all there was to him is just the plastic he can sell with his face on it.”

You don’t know why you’re getting into the heavy-duty topic of someone’s worth and value but maybe part of you just wants to present yourself as someone who cares. Someone who looks beyond the obvious. 

Homelander is similarly perturbed by your words. Clearly not used to fans taking such direction with him. Thinking about it you doubt he hears more from them beyond a predictable can I have a selfie?

He furrows his eyebrows for a second tilting his head. As if he’s trying to look into your brain to read your mind. And sure he can literally see inside your skull but it doesn’t help him understand your thoughts. So instead he digs deeper. Putting the glass of milk down he looks you straight in the eyes. 

“You don’t think that’s it?” 

His resolute question makes you pause, feeling as if you overstepped. And even if, there’s no way to backtrack anymore so you continue. “O-of course not. I know you’re more than what Vought puts out there.”

You’ve spent countless hours following the content Vought markets out to the public. All of it manicured to match his perfect brand and profile. They’re slick enough to control even the content fans put out. From conventions to random street encounters. You remember following a thread of an anonymous fan sharing their experience of getting barraged by Vought’s lawyers after they shared a post about a poor experience they had meeting one of their superheroes. You haven’t heard an update from that story in a while, god knows what happened to the fan. Maybe Vought’s lawyers managed to get their anonymous account too. 

“How would you know?” Irritation seeps into his tone, shoulders tensing, feeling exposed right before he slides back into his normal casual tone and body language as if remembering that he’s meant to be talking to a date and not some nosy interviewer trying to get the next scoop.

“I mean who hasn’t put up a face to show the world their perfect self? Whether it’s on dates or in front of friends. I just imagine that doing that in front of the whole world means there’s a lot you feel like you have to hide.” With each word you feel like you’re digging yourself a hole, ruining any chance of another date. But you’ve started saying your piece and when else are you gonna get the chance to tell the man exactly how you feel?

So you continue.

“I just think it has to be exhausting. Your entire job, your life is existing in the public eye and you can’t ever slip up? Not super-abled celebrities deal with that already but for you there’s the added burden of being seen as the superhero right? ‘Here to save us all’. I just mean, do you ever get to be yourself?”

You mean to be sympathetic, not that you could ever imagine what it’s like to be in his shoes. Being as obsessed as you are, you've watched all the footage with him. You notice how often the same lines repeat, how well he’s perfected the mask of a perfect hero. The fake humble you’re the real heroes being repeated in every video and appearance. If it was you, you know you’d have enough a while ago now. The daily grind of a job is exhausting enough but to do that all under the public’s scrutiny? You couldn’t even imagine. 

You were so lost in your little monologue, spilling all the little thoughts you had about him and his persona that you miss how his casual demeanor has once again shifted into something else. He’s less irritated but he’s tense. Even more so than before. He wears an expression you’re pretty sure you’ve not seen on him before. His jaw may not be dropped but his surprise and confusion is evident without it. 

He’s speechless. Thinking about it now, has anyone ever spoken to him in such manner before?

You watch his body language and the way he’s squeezing the fork so hard you’re sure he’s bent the metal. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. It’s just once I get going I can’t stop!” 

He lets out a breathless little laugh. His shoulders release in tension. He stops gripping the cutlery and sure enough it has a bend that definitely wasn’t there before but you don’t care. He’s not pissed. He raises his free hand waving you off and stopping you from apologizing any further. Something you’ve managed to do about a hundred times since his arrival. 

“No. No, it’s fine. You didn’t.” He shakes his head a little, looking at you with a different look in his eyes. No longer just looking for a little bit of excitement, now he’s truly locked in. What else can he get you to say? “Well maybe you did a little, but color me intrigued anyway.” 

He looks at you in a way that makes you feel small. You feel like you’re on your knees praying for your god to hear out your prayers knowing it’s unlikely for him to even notice you.  

“Can't say I've heard any of that before.” He concludes, slumping back into the chair now that he's relaxed again, having lost all interest in the food you've served up.

You’re embarrassed by the call out. It’s like all your efforts to not appear like another crazy fan have been pointless. He might not seem angry but that doesn’t mean he’s about to jump at the thought of another date. You may have ruined your chances at this being anything more than mild entertainment to him so you try to save yourself. “I just mean. I have always wanted to get to know you. The you without the cameras.”

“You already have. I don’t go on dates with many fans, believe it or not. And I gotta say you’re a lot more interesting than I gave you credit for.” 

And maybe it wasn’t such a lost cause yet. Have there been many people that Homelander has ever found genuinely interesting? You wouldn’t know but at least you’re one of them.

“Oh…ah-hah thank you.” You fluster under his heavy gaze. His words make your heart skip a beat. There’s very little that can match the euphoria of your hero, the hero really, saying he finds you interesting. It’s hard to calm the pounding of your heart at the thought of a man of his caliber seeking your company out.

After all you’ve managed to blurt out you feel more at ease. It’s not awkward like you expected it to be. In a way you’ve broken the ice you didn’t know was even there.

With you both losing interest or having had enough of your meals you move to the small but comfortable couch. And like any good dinner and movie date you put on the first title that gets advertised to you on the main page of the Vought+ streaming platform.

In reality the movie doesn’t get watched. Either you let it play in the background or you pause on sections just so you can continue the conversation between the two of you. And somehow it’s still mainly you literally just rambling on about him. It’s not that he doesn’t talk or doesn’t ask questions about you but you see the way he preens at all the enamored praise you send his way. 

The only parts that do get watched is the small cameo Homelander ended up having in the title and the conversation steers back to him. He gives you all the details you ask for, more than happy to talk about how great of an actor he is. 

With each minute of sitting close to him you feel your body respond to him. You feel hot. Too warm for the cardigan you’re wearing but you don’t want to seem too forward by taking it off. Especially after knowing what kind of trouble he could get up to in between your legs it makes it very hard to accidentally brush against his thigh and not spontaneously combust.

Homelander turns around to look back into the room while you’re dealing with your internal turmoil. Would it be too unseemly for you to initiate?

Your thoughts are interrupted when his bare hand cradles your jaw, bringing you in for a kiss. The whimper you let out is embarrassing but you quickly lose track of anything that’s not his hot lips melting you into a puddle. Just as things are about to get good, just when you’re about to pry his lips open with your needy tongue he pulls away. He doesn’t go too far. You can still feel his hot breath while he rests his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll have to set off. I need to get back to Vought tower.” He hums so close to you that you get goosebumps from the way his voice turns all low and hushed. Even though the words he’s saying are anything but good news, the attractive sound still soothes you.

“Oh-kay.” You nod. A little sad but understanding that he’s got things to get to. Every part of you is holding back from pulling him in for more but as much as your fingers twitch for him you restrain yourself.

“Come on now. Don’t sound so upset.” He gives your cheek a soft little pat before placing another peck on your lips with a chuckle from behind his closed lips.

The taste of your lips pulls him in anyway and he holds you close for a few more indulgent kisses. Upon separating you’re warm and flustered. His touch always seems to have that effect on you. 

“It's just… I had a lot of fun today.” And you don't want it to be over or for it to be the last time you see him. But how do you ask him out? 

While your limbs still feel like jelly, having melted into the couch, he stands up, walking over to the little dining table where he left his discarded gloves, pulling them back on.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, I’ll be back.” He clearly reads your expression and watches as you stumble while getting up, clearly wanting to see him out before he flies off.

His words alone are good enough to lift your spirits and you let yourself show that joy outwardly.

“Thanks for today.” When’s the last time you’ve ever felt this in the moment? Even if he never came back this moment would easily be a highlight you look back on.

“Well, aren’t you sweet?” As if he couldn’t restrain himself his eyes snapped in between your eyes and lips, his eyelashes fluttering, lips parting as he took in the sight of you. So eager to please and be there for him. He wets his lips and your stomach flips at the display. The pink of his tongue disappearing as quickly as it appears.

His eyes soften, lips stretching into a lazy lopsided smile.

“Do I get a goodbye kiss?” 

And just like that with one last kiss he’s off again, returning to his duties.

This isn’t where things end with you two. If anything, your life takes a massive turn. It’s not been the same ever since you’ve won that silly competition. And it strangely makes you want to send a gift basket to whoever organized it, no matter how much you dislike Vought itself. 

At first he comes back to you seeking comfort.

He strolls in through your balcony door which you’ve gotten into the habit of leaving unlocked—just in case. It’s not like there’s anyone else eager to fly into your home. You awake at the disruption, eyes bleary and straining in the harsh light of the nightstand lamp you’ve turned on to see what’s going on.

He doesn’t explain himself as much as he just vents to you about how he’s not being respected and taken seriously. It’s the first time he’s been back since your date and you’re surprised to see him so emotive. So unlike the perfect persona or even the carefully charming guy he presented himself as during  your date.

He’s already pacing back and forth, the thud of his boots bound to disturb your neighbors below. Not that either of you care. He’s too preoccupied with being angry. And you’re too frazzled by the thought of something upsetting your hero to this degree.

You see the angry tremor in his hands and the sharpness of his teeth, highlighted by the yellow night light. You snap out of the sleepy daze and you catch his gloved hand when he paces in front of you. 

You pull him down next to you, cooing supportive words and showing your own anger at seeing him be so disrespected by Vought. You believe they don’t know how lucky they are to have someone like him. They should revere him, yet the things he lets slip in his anger make your chest tight, fueling the rage simmering inside you. 

It’s like seeing you riled up at the way he’s being mistreated is enough to calm him down. The more you seethe the more he cools down, the energy exchange working in between you perfectly. He’s pleased to have someone in his corner. Preening at how much you parrot the words he’s saying without needing to nudge you in that direction.

Swoop-in visits like these happen more regularly. Either he comes in irritated wanting to get some frustration and anger out, fucking you throughout the night until all he can think of are your moans and cries telling him it’s too much.

Or he comes in happy, excited to share the news that his numbers are up or that the public and the on-scene reporters couldn’t stop praising him after his latest save. Those days he comes in for affection and a cuddle, wanting to hear over and over again just how well he’s done since you’ve last seen him. Treating you less like a stress ball and more like a teddy bear he’s hugged against his chest in comfort. 

You start thinking how lonely he must feel. The thought that there aren’t any people around him showering him with genuine love and friendship hurts you and suddenly you want nothing more than to keep him here with you, making sure he knows just how special he is.

As much as you’ve always been devoted to this god-like being and the idea that he represented, you never got to love the person. Until now. Now the ideology alone has seeped into your never ending love, fueling the suffocating adoration you hold for him. So strong it’s eating away at you anytime you don’t get the chance to scream how much you love him.

You used to see these late night visits as something he does for his own benefit. With you always being the easiest and most effective balm to his troubled soul. You didn’t think he was serious with you. After all, this is the Homelander you’re spending every other evening with. 

So when he sends you flowers out of nowhere, effectively courting you, you start thinking that this might be turning into something real.

It starts with the first delivery at your door. A gorgeous bouquet bursting at the seams, tagged with a note saying it’s from Homelander. Since then he’s made sure to supply you with the most beautiful bouquets as if to keep a reminder of him on a daily basis. You finally invest in a pretty vase, knowing it’s going to be thoroughly used and displayed.

Your home always had touches of Homelander throughout it—some might even say too many. However, as your relationship grows you come to a realization that those really only represent Vought. It’s these new touches that really represent Homelander’s presence in your life. Like how he times the flower deliveries just right so your place is never empty. Always there to remind you to keep him at the forefront of your mind. Never wavering. 

You two haven’t officially said that you’re dating throughout these nighttime visits but it’s at the tip of your tongue each time he comes. You want to voice the love you carry for him like a burden. Overflowing from your arms with nowhere to go. And it feels like each second you don’t say it, it’s being uselessly spilled on the floor like sand falling from in-between your fingers.

Homelander has his own way of showing affection. Seeing as so much of his life has been in front of some sort of camera you wonder if thinking in advertising scripts and photoshoot visuals comes to him more naturally than casual and real gestures. As ever since he started with the flower deliveries he’s been showering you with gifts upon each visit. As if everyday had to be Valentine’s day and he had to bring something to symbolize the reason for his visit.

You call him out on that one day. 

“You know you don’t have to bring anything right? You don’t need to bribe me.” You chuckle at the gift box he brought with him. You’ve got dozens of similar gift boxes and bags that you feel reluctant to get rid of mainly for the sentimental value but the retail price associated with the gift they hold certainly doesn’t help. 

He clasps the gifted necklace around your neck. The dainty chain lays cold against your skin and your fingers gently caress the pendant with care. Your statement still rings true but you can’t help but feel giddy every time he brings you something he thought would look great on you. 

“Do you not like the things I bring you?” With a perplexed expression you see him trying to do mental math, trying to figure out why you could possibly not kneel or bow in gratitude. He watches you play with your new pretty jewelry with a squint. 

“No! It’s all beautiful—this one especially—just. I don’t want you to feel like that’s an obligatory part of you being here.” You laugh it off a little, still dreamily thinking about what it really means to get pampered to this degree. 

He breaks your thoughts with a simple sentence.

“Maybe I want to treat my girl.” 

Your eyes widen, and you let out a shocked stuttered breath.

“Your girl?”

“Yeah, duh.” He scoffs as if what he said is as obvious as the sky being blue and water wet.

“Because you’re mine, right?” You don’t see the way his eyes reflect his own complicated and simmering feelings. The tension in his jaw betrays how he needs you to acknowledge his words and speak them into an existence. But you don’t notice any of that because it’s like the dam you’ve been doing your best to hold together with safety pins finally bursts.

You’re nodding feverishly. No longer able to hold back you’re possessed to blurt out the words that have been threatening to fall off the precipice of your tongue for weeks. 

“I love you.” 

Homelander’s eyes widen. Surprised by your admission just as much as you are. Your heart is racing, suddenly feeling insane for thinking this was anything more than simple fun to him. The knee-jerk response to apologize spills easily from your lips.

“I’m sorry—,” but instead he interrupts you by cradling your jaw in his bare hands, stepping closer.

“Don’t be sorry.” He says in a low rumble, sending shivers down your spine. He leans in to give you a tender kiss. Just barely slotting in between your parted lips, pressing them against his. Before you get the chance to continue he pulls away with enough distance to speak up.

He breathes out, eyes squeezed shut in longing which to an untrained eye would just look like pure pain and frustration. But not to you. You’ve learned to read him better. 

He nuzzles his face against yours, dragging his lips across your cheek until he reaches your ear, growling a weak, “say it again.”

You’ve partially gotten used to the timbre of his voice in your ear. Capable of having a conversation without getting worked up by every word he says but the way he’s now needily begging in your ear has your body erupt in goosebumps. He doesn’t need to say please for you to hear it anyway.

“I-I love you.” You whimper out. The emotion alone feels thick in your throat, as if it was clogging up your airways anytime you come up for air. Your heart is pounding, you’re strung up, the butterflies in your stomach make you antsy. 

His hold on your jaw tightens. With a sharp intake of breath he smashes your lips together. No longer composed and tender. Your teeth nearly clash as he’s pressed you close to him. He’s prying your lips open with his, his whimpers easily falling into the press of your lips.

“Again.” 

“I love you.”

You don’t want to cry but you’re so overwhelmed with emotion the burn that turns your eyes glassy spills over and you’re dripping tears down your cheeks in pure emotional instability.

“Again.” 

And each time he asks he sounds more wrecked. 

“I love you.”

Homelander catches the tears with his tongue right before kissing the salty taste into your mouth. Not letting any of your love get wasted. You grab onto him, grasping where you can. Your hands tangle in between his as you wrap them around his neck. One hand grips as much of the fabric of his suit it can while the other tangles in his hair, pulling on it for support more than anything. 

You feel like you’re drowning. The intensity of the moment makes you gasp for air but it’s like Homelander kisses it back into your lungs like a lifeline. Hearing his shattered whimpers soothes you, his own need fueling yours, filling the void your tears are leaving behind.

He lifts you up and with practiced ease you automatically wrap your legs around him.

He leads you both to the bedroom while he’s continuously prompting you to continue declaring your love to him. Each again, again, again you reward with the three words that make him feverish and mad. The more you say it the less your heart feels like it’s about to explode from the burden it’s been carrying for too long.

Homelander quite literally rips your clothes off, not caring that he’s leaving his own recent purchases in tatters. He doesn’t want to separate his lips from your neck where he’s kissing trails across each inch of your skin.

You don’t have the luxury to treat his suit with the same carelessness. Even if you wanted to, the tough molded material would make it impossible. Instead you do what you can. Unclasping his belt, pulling at the front of his suit, pushing his pants down where you can reach.

He helps you with taking off the rest of it until he’s on top of you, skin to skin. You rarely get the luxury of lying with him fully stripped and each time you’re shocked at how hot he runs. Now his hot body is making you melt under the heat alone.

Neither of you have stopped kissing with the same intense need that has been laying there dormant for months. Anytime you have the chance you repeat the same words over and over again until they’re all you know how to say.

It’s the first time sex has felt anything more than a physical relief he comes to you for. You’re barely keeping it together as he nudges your legs a little open, sliding his hand down your body, his palm blazing hot as the anticipation makes you clench your core.

It’s by no means either one of your first times, nor it is the first time you’ve been together yet you’ve never felt more nervous. The first touch he descends onto your clit feels like a lightning bolt crackling down your spine, spreading the tingles out to your toes and fingertips.

“Ahh hah—fuck. Want it so bad, don’t you?” He looks as broken as he sounds when he hisses at the feeling of your soaked pussy. It makes his fingers glide too easily, making it harder to give your clit the precise rhythm he’s learned to make you see stars with. 

His attempt at his normal dirty talk is disrupted by his keen moans and broken whimpers. Part of you wonders whether his super senses include being able to feel other people’s sensations with the way he’s acting as if it was him getting his body set on fire.  

You hum and ahh in response, your tongue feeling incapable of saying anything but the words you’ve been finally allowed to repeat over and over again. 

His fingers easily slip inside the sloppy mess you’ve made for him and he moans right into the kiss he leans in to steal from your lips. And it feels good. The friction is perfect, his fingers are hitting the right spot inside you and the loud squelch is embarrassing and intoxicating in equal parts. Yet it’s not what you want.

It takes all your strength to reach down and pull his hand out of you, as instinctively you’re already clenching around the all too familiar emptiness you whine at every other time when he’s done with you. 

“I want you. Please. Just you.” You manage to breathe out, your hand reaching over for his hard cock. You give him a few shaky strokes, smearing his leaking precum across the entire length.

“Alright. Uh huh, okay. I’ll give it to you.” And he’s just as out of it as you as his normal cocky one-liners just break into a lot of grunts and stutters.

He wedges himself in between your thighs, spreading them wide open. His lips part with a wistful sigh while his eyes haze over with lust at the sight of your pussy spread ope, generously glistening with slick all made for him. 

He aligns his cock with your entrance, not even bothering to tease you. He’s just as strung out as you are. He splits you open with a single thrust, your slick pulling him in with an easy glide.

“I love you.” For the first time the confession spills from Homelander’s lips. A relief just as palpable falls upon him. It’s a different story for you. The words cause more tears to spill, a wet hiccup leaving your throat as you clench around him.

“Shh, shh.” He hushes you sweetly, already reaching back for you. 

He lays his body flush on top of yours and kisses your tears away, the heat and weight of his body on top yours grounds you. He repeats the words over and over again in between wet, messy kisses. He ruts into you in shallow thrusts as if he doesn’t want to part from you any second longer.

Nothing in the world exists but you two and neither one of you can believe how perfect you really are for each other. You’ve always felt like the way you love was overwhelming. It left the other person choking on the overwhelming viscosity of it all. Homelander isn’t like that. To him your love is a breath of fresh air. 

As long as you love him with the same unyielding intensity he’s yours. At this point, he wouldn’t know how to live without it.

He kisses you in a way that says just that. Needy and broken yet utterly completed by you. 

You’re both so worked up with the overflowing emotions it doesn’t take much more than his frenzied grinding to make you both reach the release that’s as emotional as it physical. Maybe even more so.

Because the reward isn’t just a good orgasm. It’s the love that fills the air, spilling into every empty crevice you didn’t manage to fill with your bodies.

Homelander’s whimpers resemble cries as he finishes inside you right as you flutter around him with the toe-curling orgasm wracking your nerves. 

It takes you a little while to regain your mental faculties after such an emotionally draining affair. You feel boneless, your limbs feel like jelly and you just lie there dazed. Focusing on the way your heart beats loud even to your ears. 

Homelander is doing the same thing. Listening to your heartbeat with his head on your chest.

After a long while you both pull yourself together. Still in bed but now you’ve managed to strike up a normal conversation again. Talking about everything and nothing.

You lie like this for what feels like hours. Having changed positions you rest your head against his chest, ear pressed to his pecs to listen in on the steady beat of his heart.

After this reveal your brain recognizes your relationship as the utmost priority. Because of that your eyes lock onto the Kuddle Buddy plush resting just a foot away from Homelander’s head. As if you were locking onto an enemy. You pluck it from the pillow, squeezing it in your hand.

You’re staring at it, still clutching it too hard. 

“What got you thinking so hard? You’re making my head hurt from how tense you are.” Homelander interrupts you from your thoughts. 

“Just you. This. I can’t look at this stuff these days without—I don’t know—rage? To know how much Vought has wronged you.” You furrow your eyebrows, assessing the innocent plush toy while it’s staring back at you with its stitched grimace.

“That’s what the toy reminds you of, really? It should remind you of me.”

“It doesn’t anymore.” Your furrowed expression slowly melts into one of content as your hand presses against your new necklace. “Things like these do.” 

“And these.” Your fingers continue to travel up your neck where they tap at the darkened patches you feel he has left behind. With soft nipping and sucking he left your neck coloured in all shades.

He plucks the plush toy from your hands, throwing it somewhere across the room with thankfully not enough strength to knock anything else over. You’re pretty damn comfortable and you’d rather not get up to assess any damage. 

“Maybe I should give you more reminders then.” 

You squeal as he easily pulls you up so his lips can meet yours, kissing your worries out of your mind.

Homelander lands on your balcony with a soft thud. It’s late in the afternoon, earlier than he normally arrives, and he doesn’t want to attract unwanted attention. Already predicting the shit Madelyn would put him through if he got caught regularly perusing outside some random person’s apartment.

His person’s apartment really. You’re not just a random boring nobody.

He makes his way in quietly, closing the door and stepping in. Each time coming back to your apartment has felt more like coming home than he’s ever felt at Vought. You’ve arranged your life around him. He’s noticed you cancel plans, call off events just so you could stay in in the evening, waiting for him to make his return.

You even make space for him in your small apartment. The state of which he’d normally scoff at but it’s hard to mock your financial situation when you manage to make the place feel warm.

His presence left its mark in the gifts you happily displayed or the flowers you always took good care of.

And of course, the insane collection of merchandise you’ve spent years accumulating.

Wait.

Where is everything?

Homelander looks around, breaking out of his routine and instead he scans the surroundings as if it’s the first time he’s ever been here. Only now does he realize that all the usual merchandise carrying his likeness is gone. No posters on the walls. No action figures on the shelves. No funko pops. No collectibles. Nothing.

Homelander feels his blood pressure rise. There’s no way you’d want to get rid of him. Not you too. You love him. You wouldn’t do that.

He finally notices the black trash bags pushed into the kitchen, still open and overflowing with all the things missing from your walls. 

His stomach flips. 

No. Nonono. This can’t be happening.

You can’t get rid of him like this. He can’t lose you. 

Not after he’s finally tasted what real love in cooking tastes like. Or what it’s like to wake up next to someone who instead isn’t pushing you away straight after sex. Someone who makes an effort for him. Not out of fear but out of love. 

He mentally compares everything you’ve changed his perception on. 

Like when you give him a gift or help him out it’s different. Vought employees being at his beck and call could never compare. 

He’s the most powerful man in the world, with means that don’t feel like they have an end yet he could never buy the love you give freely. For once, love doesn’t feel like pulling teeth. It feels like a warm embrace on a cold winter night. 

You make it easy. You don’t fake it. And most importantly you do it unconditionally. Love him through thick and thin, the devotion to him a part of your very core. Your love is overwhelming, oozing and sticky like he’s never gonna be able to get rid of it. Just like you could never get rid of him.

You’re the only one who hasn’t left him.

Exactly. It can’t be. You wouldn’t.

This has to be some kind of a mistake.

The shuffle of your slippers against the floor breaks him out of his spiraling thoughts. He looks up sharply. Seeking some sort of explanation.

“Hey baby. You’re early today—what’s wrong?” The smile drops from your face as quickly as he sees it and it’s only then he realizes his hand is shaking. He squeezes it into a fist, the leather creaking with the pressure as he takes in a labored breath with a jittery shake to his head.

“W-uh-what is… What are you doing?” He blinks rapidly, shaking his head pretending that his voice doesn’t quiver and waver the way it does. 

“Bit of spring cleaning. After we talked the other night I just can’t look at this stuff and not think how much Vought has used you. I don’t want those reminders. It’s not what I thought it was and now that you opened my eyes to it, I can’t forget. So. Out with it.” You say so casually, not picking up on the panic he’s been going through in his head.

“Oh—okay.” He lets out a visible breath of relief, his posture relaxing. “I thought—” His jaw tightens and he looks away. Thought so heartbreaking, he doesn't want to give it voice.

“You thought I was getting rid of you?” You stop what you are doing. Putting the box on the couch and instead you walk up to him, hand on his jaw you turn him back to look at you.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” You kiss him, and Homelander melts right into it. He lets himself melt into the loving embrace of your pliant lips.

“Good. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” When you pull away he puts his hands on your jaw, tilting your head as if he was inspecting you. Seeing if what you’re saying is true. And he can’t see a single speck of a lie with the steady beats of your heart and the taste of love on your lips.

“So what are you doing with all of it?”

“Selling it, donating or trashing some I guess.”

“Why not sell it all?”

“You can buy a Homelander poster or card at any shop for a few bucks. I'm not gonna bother with those.”

“What if I sign them?”

“Oh please don’t waste your time. You’re not here to be a show pony.”

“Nonsense, come on. Bring it out.”

Homelander ends up taking the stack of posters with his or the Seven’s likeness from the top of the trash bag, placing them on the coffee table in front of the couch. He sits down, hooking his cape out of the way. He picks up a pen off the table already signing the first poster. 

Part of him is still upset that you feel like throwing a part of him away. Is this part of him not good enough for you anymore? It’s how he found you, how he got to know you and now it feels like you’re throwing it away. 

As if you could read his thoughts you sit down next to him, placing your hand on top of his as he’s halfway through his signature.

His head snaps up towards you, expression clearly guarded while he looks you over with his piercing blue gaze.

He carries his upset so visibly it would be hard even for someone as unaware as you to miss it. His smile is tight, not even attempting to reach his eyes.

You pull the pen out of his grip, instead wrapping your hand around his. The other one goes to his hair, scratching your nails down his scalp until you reach his undercut where you play with the shortly buzzed hair.

“I’m not getting rid of you. Not now. Not ever.”

At that he leans into you, nearly purring at the pleasure your scalp massage brings him. The way you touch him with no hesitation will never cease to amaze him. There’s enough love pouring off you to almost fill the black hole in his heart. 

It was exhilarating to have someone so eager to keep him in their life. Everyone else has just pushed him away, entertained him until they got what they wanted. Not you. You give and give and give. Sometimes he’s scared you’ll run out of love to shower him with. However, one look at you tells him that the love you carry feels just as much of a burden as his need for it does to him. You free each other by sharing the love. You feed his insatiable beast of a heart and he lets you burst the dam free without feeling like you’re not allowed to.  

The posters are forgotten about. Any hurt brushed away with a press of his lips to yours. Needy and hungry, wanting to see if you can prove your words with actions. Again and again.

And you do. Like you’ve done a hundred times before and just like you will do thousands of times over.

Taglist (you can add yourself to be tagged when I post a new Homelander fic)

@morishitoshi @ker0senebunny @itsvaleriesucka @thychuvaluswife

@nervoussystemss @littlegaaby @natliecole @thatvintagefanboy

@infinetlyforgotten @rafecamsgirlll @hom3landr @mrsdesade

@nommingonfood

[ara-the-great]

One call away

Tw: slight reference to lores, slight gore (if you squint) fever and delirium, abandonment issues

(here is the request I got for Zayne and Sylus angst. I didn't know what to write so I added my own trauma. I HAVE NOT PROOF READ THIS)

You don't remember most of your childhood. Not that you cared much. The oldest thing in your memory that you could find was screams, the screams staying with your Grandma and Caleb but that too was well into your mid or late teens.

Even then you didn't have many friends, actually you had no one except Caleb. All of them either bullied you or abandoned you, they didn't care about you . You were desperate for any sort of connection as a child and as a adult.

Your dating scene was similar. Though you only had one relationship before you joined the hunters association. Even that was far from a good one. And now when you look back at it you couldn't remember much there either, you had cried so much, so damn much but still he left.

It's only after joining the association that your life started to look up. It was a new start for you. A new environment, new friends do you think they like you? and new opportunities.

You always kept your problems to yourself. You didn't want to make others worry for nothing. It's not like anyone was close enough to tell these problems anyway.

When this mysterious fever started developing you thought you could ignored it, just power though it, right? Wrong.

You could barely stand up. Slipping in and out of consciousness. Your body felt like it was being baked from the inside out. Yet it felt like your limbs were freezing off. You needed help to at least get to the hospital.

Even thinking of the hospital made you feel worse. You could practically smell the antiseptic scent of the sterile rooms. What if something is really wrong with you and you need surgery? Under the harsh flood lights and white coats and screams and they'll kill you this time. They'll hurt you. They will cut you open with a knife.

Sylus

You jolted awake shaking, you can't stop shaking. No one can save you this time. For all you know that kind-hearted boy who helped you is dead. For all you knew his body was stained as red as his eyes.

He answered "look who it is, I didn't think I'd be fortunate enough to get your call today kitten". You weren't sure when you had called Sylus but you already had. You didn't know what to say let alone why you called him. Could he even help? Suddenly you remembered the aether core. Maybe this fever was related to this. Maybe-

"kitten are you alright?" His voice sounded gruff but gave you so much comfort. But you wouldn't want to disturb him. He probably would hate you for it.

"I'm sorry i- I mistakenly called you" you managed to rasp out. Still shaking

"you don't sound well. Are you sick? Where are you?" He spoke cautiously. You weren't sure how he knew. Not sure that you cared because before you could answer a calm swept you into unconsciousness.

You woke up to someone opening your door. Shit shit shit shit shit shit . Someone was here. An intruder was here. You could barely get up and out of bed before stumbling onto the ground, your gun was nowhere to be seen. You kept trying to think where you kept it but you came up blank. You rummaged through your bedside table trying to find something to defend yourself with but your cold shaky hands weren't making it easier. The person outside had started to open your bedroom door when you found a blunt craft scissor which you held up towards whoever was inside. Your sight was blurry and your heart was beating in your ears like a war drum but you could recognize a tall figure approaching. You weren't going to let them take you back. you have to fight. You have to

"DONT COME ANY CLOSER! GET OUT IM NOT GOING BACK I WONT HESITATE TO KILL YOU DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER STEP!" You screamed as loud as you possibly could. Tears ran down your face as you shook with what can be only described as pure terror. Scenes from the past kept flashing in your head. You could practically feel every damn cut they cut into you as a child.

You were sobbing and shaking curled up in a corner from fear and yet you kept the knife held up. It tore Sylus's heart apart to see you like this again. In the blink of an eye he was kneeling in front of you cowering form trying to reach out.

"Sweetie, Y/N please it's me. Calm down it's ok you are safe. Look at me. Shh look it's me Sylus. Its ok I won't take you anywhere, I won't hurt you." He held you in his arms even though you were wildly trying to stab him for a second. His normally smooth voice wavered and cracked.

"S-sylus? I- someone is in the house!" You deliriously mumbled from the high fever.

"kitten it was me. I came over because I was worried when you stopped talking over the phone. It seems like I was right to worry. You are burning up what happened?"

"I think I have a fever. It's ok though, I'll be ok" you said calming down. You leaned into his touch as he held you against his chest. His heartbeat was almost as rapid as yours.

"my love, I don't think you will be fine your fever feels well over 105. Why aren't you at a hospital? Why didn't you call anyone? Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"i didn't think you would come"

"all you need to do is say my name and I'll be there for you. Now come, let's get you to the clinic"

You shook your head trying to insist you were fine but the worry in his eyes only made you reconsider your choice

"Can you tell me why you don't want to go?" His eyes and his voice were lulling you to sleep again

"scared" your voice was barely a whisper. You could feel yourself slip into unconsciousness yet again.

When you came to you weren't in your house. Just before you could panic you felt sylus talk. His arms still around you like a shield from everything you were afraid of.

"it's ok you are with me. I'm here. I bought you to the N109 zone. You needed to see a doctor so I called one to my house. So no hospital, don't worry." Sylus explained without you even asking.

"thank you" you said quietly, feeling ashamed of the scene you caused earlier.

"For?" He asked with a brow quirked up.

"For not asking what all that was, and for bringing me here and also for taking care of me."

He laughed softly "You don't need to thank me for taking care of you. I always take care of what's mine." His eyes were ever so soft as he brushed away your hair from your face. "Now sleep. You are still sick"

"but I feel a bit bet-"

"Sleep kitten. I'll take care of everything else" he said softly kissing your forehead.

Zayne

You stared at your phone contemplating whether or not you should call Zayne. Though you were in a relationship you couldn't just disturb him. He was a busy guy. He had surgeries and more serious patients to take care of.

Your phone began ringing. Speak of the devil.

"Y/N? This is zayne. Are you alright? This is the second time you missed your appointment this week." His cool voice sounded across the phone.

"zayne, ah I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just have a bit of a fever."

" A fever? That gives you more reasons to come over to the clinic does it not? Do not worry about the appointments. I'm coming to pick you up. Are you at your apartment?"

"Zayne its truly not necessary I don't want to burden yo-"

"Rubbish, I was already headed out. So do not worry about burdening me. Worry about taking care of yourself" he cut the call before you could try to persuade him that you were fine. You were just grateful that someone was there. Even though zayne had abandoned you before. He didn't care about you. It was his job as a doctor to care for his patients.

You didn't realise when you had slipped into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

But by the time you had woken up your skin felt like it was burning from the fever. This wasn't normal. Glancing over at the clock you saw it was around 1 am. Zayne wasn't here yet. Why did you expect he would be here? You knew not to trust in what people say so why was your eyes tearing up?

As your fever kept increasing it became harder and harder to move around, it was painful to even sit up. He had abandoned you again. Your ex was right. You were annoying and in the end everyone would leave you. Nobody could ever love you.

The memory of zayne flashed across your mind. He had promised to always look after you. To be there for you.

You gritted your teeth kept mumbling "it's ok. I'll be ok" to yourself like a mantra as you somehow got a coat on your back to head to the hospital. You weren't sure how you'd reach there but the first step was to get out. Every promise that has been made to me has been a lie why would this one not be?

Just as you were about to get out of your room, your door softly swung open, revealing Zayne with an apron and a tray of soup in his hands. He seemed taken abac. But perhaps not as much as you.

"And where are you going? You shouldn't be up with such a high fever." He said as he kept the soup on the table. His cold eyes were filled with worry. Even seeing him had you breaking down into tears.

He scrambled to hold you as you collapsed on the floor crying. "What happened, where does it hurt?" He hurriedly measured your pulse and fever trying to find any sort of answer from your incoherent sobbing.

"Wh-when, when did you get here" you managed to croak out once you had calmed down a bit

"I got here long ago but since you were sleeping I didn't want to wake you. I was in the kitchen making soup for the fever, knowing you, your stomach is empty." He said as he slowly settled you into your bed.

As he turned around to bring the soup he meticulously made for you, you grabbed the back of his finely pressed shirt, "don't leave. Please don't leave, please stay. Please. I would die if you left me." you kept begged in your fever induced delirium. It broke Zaynes once frozen heart to see such fear and pain in your eyes.

He slowly leaned over to kiss you on the forehead "I won't. I'm just getting your soup. You need to eat something if you want to get better. You can't have medicine on an empty stomach"

Throughout the rest of the night Zayne diligently fed you and took care of you. And when you found it hard to sleep he would cradle you in his arms and read out his medical papers to distract you from your thoughts.

"I'm here, I'm here sweetheart, it will be ok. I'm not going to leave even if the gods demand me to" he comforted you every time you jolted awake. He would be whispering words of comfort to you till you fell asleep again and continue telling you how much he would give up for you. This treatment would go on for days, till you recovered. And even though you didn't remember how you begged him to stay, he would reassure you that he'd be there for you whenever he could.

[100vern]

how to cancel your faustian bargain | wjh ✦ TEASER

FAUSTIAN BARGAIN 🔥 a pact whereby a person trades something of supreme moral or spiritual importance, such as personal values or the soul, for some worldly or material benefit, such as knowledge, power, or riches. faustian bargains are by their nature tragic or self-defeating for the person who makes them, because what is surrendered is ultimately far more valuable than what is obtained.

▏pairing: attorney!junhui x devil!reader ▏genre: enemies to lovers, lawyer au; crack, fluff, smut ▏summary: as the devil, you’re more than happy to grant favors in exchange for someone’s soul, and you’re known for having the most iron-clad contracts around. which is why wen junhui—the scene’s newest contract attorney hell-bent on returning all those souls you’ve acquired—is really starting to piss you off. ▏teaser rating: mature. however, the full fic will be explicit, and i ask that no minors interact with this or any of my work. ▏teaser warnings: member pov, reader is thee devil so needless to say there is a bunch of religious themes and topics here (as a person whose roman-catholic grandfather temporarily disowned her for stopping ccd classes i am qualified to write this dw), jihan as literal devil's advocates, swearing, mentions of a handjob. ▏teaser wordcount: 1.3k ▏release date: 25th february (tentative) ▏note: this will be apart of the don't hate, litigate! collab, hosted by my beloved @haologram. thank you so much for all your hard work and letting me participate! i have had so much fun writing this and am finally feeling like myself again. current wordcount is sitting at 7k, but i'm anticipating the full fic to double that, if not go over by a bit.

The thing is, Wen Junhui is not really supposed to be here.

Not, like, literally here—sitting across from you, the literal devil, at your desk, ass burning a little because it’s really hot here and he is, admittedly, not used to the heat—but metaphorically. Big picture-ly. This is not how I envisioned my life turning out…ly.

The thing is, Wen Junhui barely made it through law school. Barely passed his licensing exam. Watched his classmates score prestigious internships and receive exclusive offers and network and schmooze and, he thought at the time, all but sell their soul to graduate with jaw-dropping salaries awaiting them and no debt.

And it fucking sucked watching that, because he was about to become a lawyer, sure, but he’d gotten scarlet fever as a kid, swore he was going to die, swore he saw not only the light but Jesus himself (his mother called this a delusion, still insists to this day the prodigal son did not travel all the way to Shenzhen to visit him), and decided if he survived he was going to dedicate his life to the church and become a priest.

(He only decided on law school after he got a little carried away with his high school girlfriend, received an honestly mid handjob that had him crying for three straight days and contemplating confession before he decided to take it to his grave, and he’d announced the next night at dinner, weighed down by an impressive amount of guilt and religious trauma, that he was just going to go to university and major in business or finance instead.)

Anyway. Turns out that whole selling their soul thing wasn’t a joke, and where others would’ve seen a loophole, Wen Junhui had seen an opportunity.

Because he didn’t have the grades. Didn’t have the family name or even the drive, because in another life he’s at least a deacon, so he had to do something. Had to think outside the box, get a little creative, carve out a niche for himself that none of his classmates would also be trying to occupy because he had student loans.

“How did you even get in here?” you ask, doing one of those really cool pen flips Jun has never figured out how to do. “A human hasn’t just strolled into my office in at least a millennia.”

Jun swallows, tries not to let show how nervous he is. “I, uh—I’m not sure? I sort of just… walked in, I guess.”

You blink. Study him for a while, eyes narrowed, before you make a small ah! sound and snap your fingers. What the heck? Jun can’t do that, either. “I know who you are now.”

“You do?”

“Mmhm, sure do. You were pretty famous around here for about thirteen seconds when you got that handjob and changed the trajectory of your own life forever. Some of the lower demons had bet money on you eventually becoming the Pope, so you can imagine their heartbreak—and the amount of coin they lost.” You click your tongue, return your attention to the scroll in front of you. “I kept telling them not to bet on that kind of stuff. Teenagers are wildly unpredictable, especially hormonal teenage boys. One of my finest creations, if I do say so myself.”

Not that he had any expectation of privacy here, but to say he’s mortified would be an understatement.

“Oh. That’s… really embarrassing.”

You nod, distracted as you press a large red button on your desk. “Yeah, I imagine for you it would be.”

Two men immediately materialize on each side of you. One is all cheekbones and sharp, calculating edges. Looks like the personification of mischief or perhaps temptation. After that handjob and the subsequent mourning period, Jun had come to really, really appreciate women, but he’s secure enough in his sexuality to acknowledge that the man in front of him—with his long, dark hair and lithe figure; his nonchalant, blasé attitude—is very attractive.

And the other one is no slouch, either. Has what Jun presumes is meant to be a friendlier disposition, a foil of the other man, good-cop-bad-cop, and they must be quite successful, he figures. Can’t imagine a world in which there’s anything that’d be denied to either of them.

Still, they’re well-acquainted with you, because they barely blink as you say, “Please say hello to our intruder,” with a frightening amount of bite.

The dark-haired one offers up a sleazy grin as he leans back against the wall. “Hello, intruder. Do you have a name?”

It’s a predictable question, and yet Jun still startles. Goes slack-jawed as he fixes his posture, sits straighter in his seat. Has the first syllable of his name sitting on the tip of his tongue when the other man sighs and gestures for Jun to stay quiet. “Don’t tell him your name. Better yet, don’t tell him anything, just pretend he doesn’t exist.”

“That’s rich coming from a person who chose to call themselves Joshua.”

Joshua pouts. “I thought there was something to be said for the irony.” A snort tumbles out of him, and Jun realizes that he is not the foil of the other man: he is, in fact, just as impish and rogue. “God is deliverance.” The dark-haired one does not react. “Aw, c’mon, it’s funny!”

“If you have to convince someone it’s funny, it probably is not so.”

Joshua rolls his eyes. “Alright, Jeonghan. As if you didn’t do the same thing.”

“At least when I strive to be ironic, it actually is humorous—”

With an exasperated sigh, you return your attention to Jun, who has suddenly found a fascinating piece of lint on his trousers. Pointedly does not make eye contact with you, because you had been intimidating and hellacious on your own, but he’s extremely out of his element sitting across from the literal devil and two demons.

“So, Wen Junhui,” you say, tossing a pair of reading glasses onto your desk, “why are you here?”

(“Wen Junhui?” Joshua whispers to Jeonghan. “As in the Wen Junhui that got the handjob?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Jeonghan whispers back.)

And now it all feels a bit silly, because Jun had walked straight into hell thinking he’d be able to… what, exactly? Strike up a friendly conversation? Start making demands? Cut a deal that didn’t include handing over his mortal soul?

Maybe the whole becoming a priest thing hadn’t worked out but he’d still learned a thing or two, and he remembers all the words used to describe you, your original purpose. Meant to reflect God’s glory, anointed, given the highest seat at the table. They’d blamed your downfall on pride, on vanity and violence, and Wen Junhui from Shenzhen, China, who once had scarlet fever and got a bad handjob, was a fool to come here and think he could go toe-to-toe with you.

Overcome with nerves, all he can do is laugh as he toys with the hair at the nape of his neck. Considers saying something like you’re gonna think this is so silly before he decides against it. You’ve been accused of having a sense of humor, but Jun can’t imagine his harebrained scheme would make the cut.

Still—he wouldn’t be where he is if the bad ideas sitting on his shoulder had kept quiet, and they’re still whispering to him now, reminding him how he wound up here to begin with: less fortunate than his classmates, less connected, looked over for all those internships and opportunities because he wasn’t born with the proper credentials. Those god-forsaken student loans. Desperation forced him to do this, and it’d be a real shame if he got this far only to give up at the last second, wouldn’t it?

So, he does what he did best all those years of law school: he fakes it.

“Let’s say I’m interested in… a partnership, of sorts.”

Jeonghan and Joshua share a look.

“Ah,” you reply, hands folded in front of you. “And what kind of partnership would that be?”

[fangweaver2099]

𝐅 𝐀 𝐖 𝐍 𝐓 𝐄 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇 - Prologue pt 1

MINORS DNI 18+ FIC

You’ve always liked the idea of having a dominant partner - BDSM was something you’ve read about, watched videos about.

Something you made Pinterest boards and aesthetic tumblr posts about when you were 18 and curious, the idea always sounded nice, but you’ve never done it in practice, not really. Sure you bought fuzzy handcuffs at a gag gift store once, but that didn’t really count.

You’re still a virgin.

You’ve always had that chronically awkward, workaholic type of vibe that made typical dating near impossible at worst and frustrating at best. Normal dating apps have proven fruitless and agitating. So poor curious little you talked yourself into making a fetlife account. You weren’t looking for true love, but at least you could get laid.

DM Request from: 10:13 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello, Fawn.”

College was for new experiences after all.

CW: BDSM heavy/centric fic. Safe, Sane & Consensual. Miguel is your professor, but you both don't know that. Age Gap (Y/N is 23, Miguel is mid 30's)

PART 2

DM Request from: 10:13 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello, Fawn.” 

You squint at the request - you can see his icon is his torso.

You knew you had to snoop - be careful. The classic teen girl not wanting to be abducted shit. His skin was tanned - pale palms and even skintone told you he wasn’t a white guy. NYC was a melting pot - so you weren’t about to think too hard about it. You scroll through his writings. Most were boring and formal. You debate reading over the ‘contract template’ he had posted but decide against it.

His pictures are, mostly, not entirely him. A few torso shots showing off dark hair and abs - or more casual showing off a normal looking body of a dude who clearly worked out. The others are a few different women in different states of undress smothered in bondage ropes, always a bright red. The one that intrigues you the most again has the face censored by a black bar, but she’s hung upside down against the wall, diamonds of rope on her thighs as she’s suspended before red rope that was weaved into a massive spider web. He was a fan of spiders - the user name made sense.

The photos were old, from 2016 at the newest. The photos of him were new - posted just 6 months ago.

His wall was what told a touch of his story. You scroll down dozens of posts, women and men acting friendly or asking to meet up again. You wonder if he used to be a community person, the anon nature of his account was new? Could you check on the wayback machine? 

You tab back into his chat.

“hey. are you really 6’9? ” - Fawnteeth - 10:19 PM

 10:19 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You think I’d lie about that?”  

“maybe. I know a lot of guys who lie about their height, I’m tall enough to tell.” - Fawnteeth - 10:20 PM

 10:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Smart to ask. Yes, I am really 6’9”. Is height a big seller for you?”  

“when you’re a tall woman, it is.” - Fawnteeth - 10:20 PM

 10:21 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “You want me to make you feel small. Noted.”

“what had you messaging me? you seem popular.” - Fawnteeth - 10:21 PM

 10:22 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “I’ve been in the scene for a long time, made my way around. Your interests line up and you seem at least somewhat concerned about your own anonymity.”  

“here I thought you’d say you found me pretty.” - Fawnteeth - 10:22 PM

 10:22 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Shallow compliments hardly get us anywhere. Besides, that’s a given.”  

“well, thank you anyway. need to keep this and my personal life separate, like you I see.” - Fawnteeth - 10:23 PM

 10:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ “We all have our secrets and reasons to keep them.”  

“serial killer sorta secrets?” - Fawnteeth - 10:24 PM

“I’m kidding.” - Fawnteeth - 10:24 PM

 10:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Would you believe me if I said no?”  

“I can try. it’s not like you’re a blank profile, web.” - Fawnteeth - 10:25 PM

 10:26 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Maybe you shouldn’t. Things like that are easy to fake. You’re clearly trying to keep a secret, which means if I met up with you no one would know where you went. Would be a good tactic if  I was preying on little girls.”

You stare at his message for a moment, forcing in a quick breath you sit up as your bed creaks. Okay, time to take things a bit more seriously.

“Good thing I’m not a little girl. I do appreciate the concern, it’s attractive.” - Fawnteeth - 10:27 PM

 10:27 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Lot’s of untrustworthy people on sites like this. Ones that will lull you into a sense of security.”  

“Trust me, I’m well aware. You think I should be afraid of you?” - Fawnteeth - 10:27 PM

 10:28 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Yes. You can’t trust me right away.”

“Well, I like the honesty. I don’t think I have any plans to meet up with anyone soon - not even you.” - Fawnteeth - 10:30 PM

 10:30 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Of course you don’t. You’re new at this.”

“Did I really give it away that quickly?” - Fawnteeth - 10:31 PM

 10:31 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Yes.”

You stare at the screen for a long moment, eyes wide. How the hell do you reply to that? Is he ending the conversation? Did you already fuck things up? At this point, most men would be falling over themselves to impress you, not making you feel intimidated . You feel your core throb as you click back to his profile, scrolling over dozens of comments on his wall from years ago - the fact is, his profile spans back years. Longer. He’s experienced, and… he isn’t wrong, either. 

“Is that a problem? I hope it isn’t. You’re the first dude who hasn’t asked me for nudes yet.” - Fawnteeth - 10:32 PM

 10:34 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “No. You should be more careful though, me explaining that and this is something you should be suspicious of. Wanting to ‘protect’ you because you’re young and need to be taught the ropes, so to speak.”  

“Got it, Sir.” - Fawnteeth - 10:34 PM

“Wait, can I call you that?” - Fawnteeth - 10:34 PM

You cringe, placing the laptop on the bed for a moment. Shit - you’ve already messed up.

 10:35 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “That’s acceptable. If you ever call me ‘Daddy’ however I will block you.”  

 10:35 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “That’s not a joke.” 

You open your eyes, glancing over at the chat and his two messages. Raising a brow, you lean in, shifting the laptop back into your lap. 

“Understood. Not my thing.” - Fawnteeth - 10:35 PM

 10:36 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “What is your thing, Fawn?”

“Well… I like giving up control… Feeling like prey. I’ve always loved deer, something about being so fiercely defenseless as a fawn in a wolf’s maw is thrilling.” - Fawnteeth - 10:37 PM

 10:37 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “No wonder you brushed over the red flags.”

“Maybe.The whole giving up control is why most submissives are here, aren’t they?” - Fawnteeth  - 10:38 PM

 10:40 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “The illusion of giving up control. Any good dominant knows the submissive is the one with the power. Safe words, limits, contracts - it all relies on knowing they can end things whenever they want to explore it safely.”  

“Of course.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:40 PM

 10:40 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Of course? So you have those things ready for me?”  

“ Safe words and how I prefer them - yes. Limits, I think so. Contract - no. ” - Fawnteeth  - 10:40 PM

 10:42PM - WebRigger2099 -   “I need one for slow down/ease up and one for an immediate stop. I also need a physical sign if you are unable to say your safe words. Please list them.”  

 10:43 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “Send me 4 lists: Favorites, Yes, Maybe, and No not ever. Include everything you can think of. If you do not include something that I am interested in I will ask about it and we will consider it a maybe until you’ve had time to consider it and possibly research.”

 10:43 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “You will not need a premade contract. I have a basic format we can edit to our needs. If it goes that far.”  

“Is the green, yellow, red method good with you?” - Fawnteeth  - 10:44 PM

 10:44 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Yes.”

“That’s good.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:44 PM

“...And I'll get you the other things - do you have any hard nos I should know of?” - Fawnteeth  - 10:44 PM

10:45 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Send me yours and we’ll go from there.”  

“Okay.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:45 PM

You take your time in a Google document, carefully considering your late-night Archive Of Our Own feed. Anxiety tells you to rush, but you get the energy that Web isn’t the kind of guy who wants you to rush.

“ Will you click links? Google Docs. ” - Fawnteeth  - 10:55 PM

 10:55 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ I applaud you if you somehow hack me from a google docs link. I have a very good firewall as a warning. ” 

You couldn’t help but grin at his reply - you’re charmed by him. Oh no.

“I’d figure as much. Here.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:57 PM

“ [Google Docs Link] “ - Fawnteeth  - 10:57 PM

 10:57 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “I’ll ask specifics soon but I want to be clear about this - I want something in person, but that is not on the table until the end of the summer. I have obligations. If that is a problem I don’t want to waste your time.” 

“That’s fine. I know we’re both in NYC. I’m kinda glad as I don’t think I’m ready to meet up soon anyway.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:57 PM

 10:58 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Gives us time to get to know each other and learn expectations.

“Then it sounds like we’re on the same page.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:58 PM

 10:58 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Good. Due to this being a distance-based arrangement for the time being I cannot touch you myself; Have you heard of a lovense?”

“I have. Aren’t those expensive?”   - Fawnteeth  - 10:58 PM

 10:58 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Money isn’t a concern for me, and anything I get you is a gift. The only expectation is to use whatever I provide. Acceptable?”

“Yes. I don’t take pictures or videos with my face in them.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:58 PM

 10:58 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I noticed.”

 10:58 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Neither do I. That isn’t a problem.” 

“Glad to hear that.” -   Fawnteeth  - 10:59 PM

“...So…”   - Fawnteeth  - 10:59 PM

 10:59 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “Your list says nothing about exhibitionism. If I were to tell you to wear your lovense during the day would that be acceptable?”

For a moment you stare at his message. Now that you’re not under your father’s roof, you have free reign to do whatever, and it’s honestly not like your roommates haven’t done weirder, less appropriate shit in far more public spaces. 

“That’s fine as long as I’m not visiting family. I live somewhere else.” - Fawnteeth  - 10:59 PM

 10:59 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ You say you like roleplay. Are there specific scenarios you’re interested in?”

“Do you know what dead by daylight is?” -  Fawnteeth  - 10:59 PM

 11:00 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “I can’t say I do.”

“...Well. I wasn’t joking about the idea of enjoying being hunted. I guess. Kinda embarrassing to admit to a stranger.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:00 PM

 11:00 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “Does that embarrassment excite you, Fawn?”

“Maybe.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:00 PM

 11:00 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “I expect yes or no answers. If you’re not sure say so.”

“Yes, then.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:00 PM

 11:00 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Good girl. What do you want me to do when I catch you?”

There’s no hesitation, no doubt in the message. What do you want when I catch you. Not would you want, not if I caught you. When. You can’t help but squirm. For a moment, you consider pacing your tiny, cluttered bedroom.

“Is whatever you want the wrong answer?”   - Fawnteeth  - 11:01 PM

“I might be new, but I think I’m kinda open. I want to please, I suppose.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:01 PM

 11:01 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ Not at all a wrong answer.”

 11:02 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Have you ever been spanked before? You said it was a favorite.”

“Yes.” - Fawnteeth - 11:02 PM

You bite your lip - it technically isn’t a lie. You have been spanked - just… not sexually. It’s fine .

 11:02 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Would you be willing to use a paddle, crop or belt in my absence if I believe you need punishment?”

“I’m not sure. I have a very high pain tolerance, but I don’t live alone, sound is a concern.”   - Fawnteeth - 11:02 PM

 11:03 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Not a problem. Making a small list for a care package if you show me potential is all.” 

“Well, what can I do to impress you, Sir?”  - Fawnteeth  - 11:03 PM

“I don’t mind homework, for lack of a better word.”   - Fawnteeth  - 11:03 PM

 11:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Eager, aren’t you? I’m not done.”

 11:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Dirty talking. What are your limits, and do you have a specific pet name you want me to use?”

“I like Fawn, obviously. Affectionate things, I think it’s better figuring it out organically. Feels more genuine.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:04 PM

 11:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “And no humiliation.”

 11:04 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ Understood.”

 11:04 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “I have rules. It’s better that I tell you about them early. They’ve scared most people off.”

“ Well. I won’t pass judgment immediately.” - Fawnteeth - 11:05 PM

“I don’t cut my hair.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:05 PM

 11:05 PM - WebRigger2099 -   “I would be disappointed if you did. Speaking of, I only allow my submissive to trim their pubic hair for one, no shaving it.” 

“That’s fine with me. I haven’t shaved anything in a while.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:05 PM

 11:06 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ If you are going to be unavailable for more than a few hours I expect an explanation so I know you are safe. I don’t allow my partners to go to clubs or bars without me either. If this becomes serious I expect you to download a location tracking app so I know where you are at all times.”

“Okay. That’s fine. I don’t go out much.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:06 PM

 11:06 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “I am not polyamorous. If you want to be mine you are only mine, and I will hold myself to the same standard.”

“That’s fine with me. I have been talking to someone else, but about as much as you at this point. Honesty and all that stuff.”   - Fawnteeth  - 11:06 PM

 11:06 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I don’t let things I own go into disrepair; You will take care of yourself and report what you don’t complete. Punishments will be given if you do not complete these tasks.”

 11:07 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “The basic daily requirements are the following: Three meals a day, showering every day, an hour of exercise and a consistent bedtime during weekdays.”

“Okay. Did this really scare people off?” - Fawnteeth  - 11:07 PM

 11:07 PM - WebRigger2099 - “People have called me controlling. It sounds like you want to surrender your control though.” 

“Not wrong.” - Fawnteeth   - 11:07 PM

 11:07 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ You’re not hard to read.”

“I’ll try and take it as a compliment.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:07 PM

 11:07 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “Deception and confusion are a waste of time. Own it.”  

“I’ll try my best. I’m used to being considered odd.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:08 PM

 11:08 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Are you?”

“I’m on fetlife. So, yes.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:08 PM

 11:08 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I suppose.”

 11:08 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ We already established you’re new to this. Will I be your first dominant?”

“Yes. Not my first partner.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:08 PM

 11:09 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “ Were they not interested in this?”

“I never brought it up to them. I don’t really want romance right now.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:09 PM

 11:09 PM - WebRigger2099 -  “And if you fall for me?”

“I’d rather talk about it then, I suppose. I don’t get the vibe from you that you’re looking for romance, just a pet.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:09 PM

 11:09 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Good, and no, not right now.”

“But you think I’ll fall in love with you?” - Fawnteeth  - 11:09 PM

 11:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You’re young and inexperienced. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.” 

 11:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ My last important rule - no drugs, limited alcohol. If you drink you must have friends with you that are reliable or myself. Drinking and doing drugs is just asking to put yourself in a vulnerable situation. It’s a precaution some have complained about.” 

With how much he spoke of other people not liking his rules it was almost like he was trying to talk you out of it.

“That’s fine. I celebrated my 21st by watching movies.”   - Fawnteeth  - 11:10 PM

 11:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “What movies?”  

“Midsommar, it’s my favorite. Silence of the lambs too. Roomies insisted on watching Barbie after that. lol ” - Fawnteeth  - 11:10 PM

 11:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “ You like horror.”

“Yes. I thought the ghostface poster in my 3rd photo gave it away.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:11 PM

 11:11 PM - WebRigger2099 - “And you’d like him or some other violent thing to chase you down and do whatever they wanted with you instead of killing you.”

 11:11 PM - WebRigger2099 - “It must make watching movies with a group tense if that’s what is going through your mind.” 

“I won’t say it doesn’t.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:11 PM

 11:11 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Let me guess: some part of you likes the discomfort?” 

“Honestly. I haven’t thought about it. Probably.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:11 PM

 11:11 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I think you’d like to walk around with a lovense in you, never knowing when I might turn it on or increase the settings. You enjoy suspense.”

“ It’s appealing, yeah.” - Fawnteeth  - 11:12 PM

You sit back on your bed, propping up the laptop with your pillows. Why did you love that this guy was reading you like an open book? You take in a deep breath, remember - play it cool.

 11:12 PM - WebRigger2099 - “What do you want out of all of this?” 

“My first thought is sex - but also to learn myself a bit more, I guess. Explore something with a partner I can trust… Please someone, feel better about myself. Like I said - I’m a tall woman, it doesn’t exactly make you feel pretty.”  - Fawnteeth  - 11:12 PM

 11:12 PM - WebRigger2099 - "Okay, sounds good."  

You bite your lip, reading over the message on your dimly lit phone screen over and over again. Curling up tighter into the cotton blanket on your bed, you exhale, the cheap mattress creaking underneath you. You flinch, eyes flickering towards the shut door of your bedroom. Your heart flutters in your chest for a few moments until silence rings in your ears. 

You haven’t woken up any of your roommates.Thank god. 

Sighing, you turn your attention back to your phone, looking over the message again.

 11:12 PM - WebRigger2099 - "Okay, sounds good." 

Usually men are more expressive in their text speech when it comes to you - to the extent that some even make you uncomfortable. But WebRigger2099… is very much not . You’ve dubbed him 'Web' in your head, easy enough with his username. 

Web is formal, speaks with proper punctuation and never a single spelling mistake or emote. He’s direct, not flowery or soft in any way. But… you kind of like that. Direct is easy. There’s no guessing games with instructions and meanings laid out plainly.

 11:12 PM - WebRigger2099 -“ You are very pretty, by the way. ” 

You blush.

[a-b-riddle]

I binged your story after tumblr suggested it to me and it’s so good it invaded my dreams seriously, I’m gonna put down a quick recap on the off chance you wanna know if not just take my praise and ignore below, you’re writing is soooooo good! I really felt for the reader and even the guys kinda you were able to evoke my empathy for these characters and had me on the edge of my seat in just a few short chapters thank you so much for sharing your work! (Seriously I’m sharing you with all my book girls they love angst this is right up their alley)

I dreamt reader washed her hands of the men and got an arranged marriage with a nerd (like square glasses pocket protector stereo type) named ?teddy? Who was really nice and had a sleeper build and I think a library job? They adopted some giant fish & idk my dream started loosing whatever plot it had around there with something about a train trip anyways I woke up confused and wondering if arranged marriage dating apps were even a real thing and google says yes, so yeah you’re story inspired an odd though kinda sweet AU dream and my husband questioning my recent google searches 😂

I'm stuck on the arranged marriage idea now!

so my previous bosses ALL had arranged marriages and were explaining how it worked or how they met (an ad or through parents). And honestly, I would eat UP one where Indian reader dumps her artistic boyfriend who she's had to financially support for four years now and finally relents letting her parents play match maker. She's shocked to find that instead of the son of one her mother's friends (who her mom and been BRAGGING about for years), her dad had arranged for her to meet his very good friend and colleague John Price.

Reader is pissed at first. 1) because he is almost a decade older than her and 2) "A white man? NO!"

But turns out, John is ready to settle down. Doesn't care if you want to be a housewife, a stay at home mom or have a career. He's just so totally over dating in his mid-30s and wants a wife.

Even funnier, your dad tries to boost the fact that his mom is dead so you won't have a mother-in-law (this is literally what one of my bosses' father did) He was like "and his mother is dead, kanna" 💀

She marries John and doesn't realize the man has had fifteen years of income just building and building in the bank since he had been deployed for most of his life and hadn't gotten a chance to spend it. When he notices that she's getting things and hasn't gotten a notification he's like "this is your money. Spend. It."

[heavcnslyre]

chapter one - j.f. ( masterlist )

GORGEOUS.

“ocean blue eyes looking in mine,

i feel like i might sink and drown and die”

the air outside was cold, which was shocking for a mid-june morning. you were awake early, as you often were since you preferred to be productive in the mornings, but today it was for a different reason. you had barely slept all night. this morning, you were returning to susannah’s beach house in cousins. you looked forward to this day every year, and it was always just as special every time it came around.

“you all ready?” a voice breaks your silence as laurel peaks her head out the front door, watching you sit on the porch swing. you smile at her.

“definitely,” you say. “coffee on the counter, did you see it?”

she walks over to you and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “i did. thank you. now get your bag in the car, we’ll leave in twenty.”

“can i drive?” you ask, following her inside. she shakes her head.

“already told steven he could.”

as she says it, steven comes down the stairs and ruffles your hair as he walks past you. “sorry!”

“no you’re not,” you grumble, turning away to grab your bags. you had just gotten your license less than a month ago but steven has had his for months, so he usually got first dibs on driving. you usually didn’t mind, but the drive to cousins was special to you, and you would have loved to be able to make the drive yourself. not driving, you thought, would at least give you more time to prepare. although, you would have appreciated the distraction. this year felt different. you felt different. you weren’t really sure if it was a good different or not.

part of you was terrified, for some reason. most summers, you went to cousins completely disconnected from the world back at home. cousins was it’s own world, in your mind. the people, the house, the entire atmosphere, it was magical. it absolutely transported you, and you let it. this year, you had a connection to back home. your boyfriend, peter. you and him started dating two months ago after your best friend cassie introduced you to him, and things have been incredible ever since. if you were honest, you had never really committed to a guy before him, but it seemed to be working out well so far. the reason why you were terrified, you figured, was because this trip to cousins could change that. jeremiah fisher could change that.

you had talked to plenty of guys, even dated a few for a couple weeks or so, but as soon as jeremiah fisher comes around, you lose sight of everything — and everyone — around you. he somehow has that effect on you, and he has your whole life. but you do really like peter, so you told yourself you wouldn’t ruin something good for yourself again, just because you’ve always been waiting for jeremiah. you’ve made a fool of yourself enough over the years, attempting to get closer to him as he flirts with everyone in the world, that you know it was time to change something.

you just hope that you’ll be able to stick to it.

“(y/n),” you’re woken up by your sister belly poking your side, “(y/n), you’re drooling on me.”

you groggily open your eyes and stretch, moving away from her, “sorry bells.”

“s’kay,” she yawns. “we’re almost there, anyways. and your phones been blowing up. all from peter,” she says the last part teasingly, pushing your phone towards you. you laugh as you unlock your phone, seeing that she was right, and peter had texted you seven times.

peter: good morning!!

peter: sorry ik you’ve probably been up for hours

peter: omg and youre probably almost to the beach already

peter: miss u already

peter: there’s a party tomorrow night i was thinking about going to if that’s okay with you

peter: cassie’s gonna be there and stuff and you know i’ll be thinking about you forever so you’d have nothing to worry about

peter: just let me know if you’re comfortable with it okay?

you: oh my peter

you: you don’t need my permission to go have fun!!! of course you can go to the party :)

you: just text me and keep me updated okay? and make sure there’s a DD

peter: of course. you’re the best!

you: 🤍🤍

you smile at your phone and as soon you look back up, you were entering cousins. you didn’t realize how long you had slept for, but as soon as you saw the sign, your heart skipped a beat. you were back. you were back, and everything was good, including your lovely boyfriend back home. this summer was going to be perfect, you just knew it. your fears from this morning were fading and you decided that no matter what happens, you’re going to be okay. you’re going to have a great summer.

“did susannah get a new car?” steven asks as he pulls the car into the driveway of the house. laurel nods, a small smile forming on her face as the house comes into few. the same smile was present on everyone’s faces in the car. this place was so special to all of you.

“yeah, she gets bored with her cars easily,” laurel finally says, a hint of distaste in her voice. “she just likes to change things often.”

steven was barely listening and was halfway out of the car by the time laurel was done talking. his eyes were set on susannah, who was standing at the doorway, watching your car pull in. she looked as beautiful and radiant as ever, and even more so, especially since it was obvious that she was healthier now than she was last summer. her hair got longer and the glow on her face was back, lighting up her eyes and giving her the most approachable demeanor possible. she was perfect.

you get out of the car shortly after steven, and follow him up the steps to hug susannah tightly. she rubs your back as she hugs you. “oh sweet (y/n), you beautiful girl. i’m so happy to see you.”

“i’ve missed you so much,” you say back, and she gives you another squeeze before letting you go and hugging laurel. you look down by the car at steven, who was now talking to jeremiah, who had his back to you. your breath caught in your throat when you saw him, but you shook it off. that was not what this was going to be. he was one of your best friends, your family. that was all. that didn’t stop your heart rate from speeding up the second that he turned around and your eyes met his beautiful, bright blue ones. his face softened as soon as he saw you, but his smile remained just as wide. you move towards him and he watches you, his eyes never leaving yours as you approach him.

“(y/n),” he says, looking you up and down and grinning. “you look different.”

you knit your eyebrows and look down at yourself. “good different?”

jeremiah laughs. “always good.”

you giggle and wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you into a close hug. you take in his scent, a mix of saltwater and his vanilla cologne, the one that conrad and steven have always made fun of him for. they always say it makes him smell too girly. you have always thought he smelled perfect.

“i have so much to tell you,” jeremiah says as you pull away from the hug. “this summer is going to be amazing!”

“i can’t wait,” you grin. the two of you always spent the first night sitting on the beach after dinner, talking all night. he would fill you in on his school year, and you would fill him in on yours. it usually ended with both of you in the ocean and sandy, but it was always one of your favorite traditions.

as you turn away from jeremiah, belly rushes out of the car and pulls him into a hug and he spins her around. your eyes catch on conrad, who had just rounded the corner of the house, and was staring at them. he meets your eye and smiles sheepishly, knowing that you had caught him. you smile and go pull him into a tight hug. “hey connie.”

“hey (y/n). it’s good to see you,” he says. as you pull apart, his eyes are caught on belly again, who is staring at him this time, too. you smile at the sight and push conrad towards her gently. the corner of his mouth slightly turns up and he walks to her as you walk back over to jeremiah and steven, who were giggling to themselves. when jeremiah sees you walking towards them, he waves you over quickly.

“belly flop time,” he says, a wide grin on his face. you laugh.

“yes!” the three of you walk towards conrad and belly, who were laughing with each other, seemingly in their own world.

“hey, i don’t know about you guys but…” steven pretends to check his nonexistent watch on his wrist. “i think it’s time…for a…belly flop!”

belly squeals as the boys grab her, conrad carrying her by her armpits and the other two grabbing her feet. you giggle and lead the way, opening the gate to the pool and letting them pass through. you and the boys count down from three and they throw belly in the water. you all laugh as she flails around, her clothes completely soaked. your smile fades as the boys turn to you, mischievous smiles on their faces. “no.”

“it’s not fair to only throw belly in there, is it?” steven says innocently. you shake your head and attempt to run away, but before you can, jeremiah has his arms wrapped around your waist and lifts you effortlessly in the air. steven and conrad help him and grab your legs, counting down from three just like they did with belly. she dove out of the way as the boys throw you into the water. luckily, the water was warm, and while the feeling of your wet clothes was uncomfortable on your skin, the water was quite refreshing. belly giggles as you swim towards her and pull her into a hug, but in the hug, you whisper in her ear. “let’s get back at them?”

she nods as if she read your mind, and when you pull apart and begin to approach the edge, she’s suddenly struggling. “wait, wait guys, my ankle.”

“what’s wrong belly?” conrad asks. she continues struggling in staying afloat.

“i…i hurt my ankle i think. i cant walk on it,” she reaches her arm out to conrad. “help me out.”

he reaches out, and as their hands connect she pulls him into the water and the other boys burst out in laughter, jeremiah doubling over in laughter with his hands on his knees. taking advantage of this moment, you grab his hands and pull him into the water too, completely catching him off guard as he falls into the water next to you. now steven is standing on the edge, struggling to breathe from laughing so hard. “no way they got both of you!”

jeremiah flips his hair out of his face and looks up at steven. “c’mon steven, waters nice! you don’t wanna be left out, do you?”

steven shakes his head, still laughing. “i think i’ll survive being left out today. these shoes were expensive.”

“lame!” jeremiah calls out as steven walks towards the house, his laughter still echoing in the air. jeremiah turns his attention to you and swims over to you, grabbing your waist and spinning you around. “i’ll get you back for pulling me in here.”

you laugh. “sure you will. c’mon, let’s go dry off for dinner.”

he hops out of the side of the pool and offers an arm to help you out. he pulls you out of the pool with ease. “race you upstairs?”

“that sounds dangerous,” you say. “wet feet on tile and hardwood floor? with your clumsiness?”

he mocks offense. “you think i’m clumsy? ridiculous.”

“jere, you tripped over a penny on the beach last summer,” you say. “and i don’t think we’ve had a summer here where we haven’t had to bring you to the e.r. from some injury.”

“the sand is trippy!” he claims. “and i just live an adventurous lifestyle. which is why i’m totally beating you upstairs.”

“better catch me first!” you say and immediately take off sprinting, up the stairs to the porch and through the sliding glass doors, which you attempt to close in front of jeremiah, who caught up with you quickly. carefully, you run through the house but the slippery floors really did make it difficult. soon, you’re halfway up the stairs and jeremiah is right behind you, laughing. “you’re such a cheater!”

“i’m just smarter than you!” you yell as you approach your bedroom, which was right next to his. he shakes his head.

“no way. just a cheater,” he grins at you one more time as he enters his bedroom, closing the door behind him. you walk into yours as well, your head spinning from the first thirty minutes you had spent here. jeremiah made everything around you feel insignificant and you felt like you were floating when he touched you. and for the first time in your life, you hated the feeling. you were with peter now. you had to focus on peter, not jeremiah.

it was hard to do that when you were spending the next two months living with him, your rooms right next to each other, and the walls thin enough that you could hear everything in each others rooms. whenever he played music, you heard every word. every conversation, every ounce of laughter, every time either of you cried. it was good, having a close connection to him, but you knew it was just going to make things so much harder.

[thearttolifesdistractions]

i know

description: when you're with him, love feels like something fleeting. you act like you belong to each other, like it's official, but refuse to make it real. you tell yourself you’re okay with it, you always do. but when his phone buzzes, when you know it’s her, the weight of being his secret becomes hard. and still, when it’s time to leave, you don’t ask him to choose. because you already know he won’t. and maybe this situation won't grow as you hoped, but maybe that's okay.

warnings: mid writing, friends with benefits (ofc... my fav trope), mentions of nsfw but nothing explicit, angst but not really, not the best ending......

a/n: HELLO!!! crazy that you guys get two posts this week wooooahhhh…. anyways! so i wrote this after listening to 'i know' by fiona apple & i was convinced i was gonna make this a multiple part fic! buuut after writing this part i couldn't figure where to go from here 😭 well! maybe i'll make some more parts later if i can like…. figure out a plot but i figured why not post it anyways since i think it's alright as a standalone… enjoy!

wc: 3,127

paring: hozier x fem!reader

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The lavish, and entirely too expensive, room he’s booked is gorgeous. A five-star hotel in the City of Lights that makes your apartment back home look trivial, and that was quite expensive too. You’re curled up on the bed, body wrapped in the softest robe you’ve ever felt, watching as Andrew thumbs through a book, but his mind is clearly preoccupied, flicking from page to page without ever really focusing on the words. 

He’s on tour right now, though somehow, he had it scheduled to have an entire week free in Paris, and it just happened to align with your schedule as well. The second you both found out you were free during the same week, you flew out to see him. But even now, in the most romantic city in the world, you can’t help but feel like you’re living in a lie, or a moment that neither of you really has any claim to. His distracted gaze keeps flickering to his phone on the nightstand, as though waiting for something. Or someone.

The thought of her has your stomach burning, with both anger and disappointment. He’s not technically dating her, but he keeps up the image to ‘keep the press out of his love life.’ You were supposed to be something real, something beyond whatever this is, but you’re starting to realize you’ll never be anything more than the girl that keeps his bed warm. 

He doesn’t even know what that does to you, the way she’s always there, lingering in the background of every conversation. The way you always spend the last moments together wondering what he's going to do with her. He always has something planned with her after you’ve spent time together, claiming that it helps maintain the illusion that you two are just friends. He says no one will care about photos of the two of you having ‘friendly’ hangouts if he’s still going on dates with her.

It’s the last day before he’s back on tour. The last day before you go back home. It shouldn’t hurt this much. This is what always happens. You both have a brief window of time that lines up, and you meet up, privately playing the perfect couple, then going back to being friends until the cycle repeats. In the times where you both took breaks from releasing music, these moments lasted longer, sometimes months. It was hard to say goodbye then, especially after you'd forgotten how to be without him. So, it should be easier to say goodbye after just a week, right? But, he just makes it so damn hard.

You sigh quietly, the sound barely escaping your lips as you adjust to lay your head in his lap. Maybe being physically closer to him can bridge the gap, maybe it can help you convince yourself that this is normal. 

His hand immediately moves to comb through your hair, fingers scratching at your scalp in a way that has your eyelids fluttering. You look at him now, meeting his gaze as he stares at you with a soft smile, and for a moment, you wish you could just ask him. Ask him what this is, what you are to him. But you know that won’t change anything. He’d probably just smile, brush it off, and go back to doing whatever it is he does. You can’t blame him for that. It’s hard being in the spotlight, knowing that everyone is scrutinizing your every move. It’s one of the first things you two bonded over.

Your mind races back to those early days, when you first met him a few years ago, working on a song together. It started as something completely professional, both of you working at the same label and they’d decided that a collab between the two of you would work well. You were both doing your part, helping each other out with a track that you’d been assigned to create. But somewhere during the late nights in the studio, they turned into late nights talks that turned into something else. You couldn’t have predicted how quickly the chemistry between you would go from creative to something more.

It was easy to grow feelings for him, almost natural. You had never really talked about what you were to each other, you just were. And it was nice. The understanding that whatever it was, it didn’t need to be defined. You think about those first days, the way he smiled when he looked at you, the subtle touches. And how, over time, it was like your lives just fit with each other’s. 

The media had no idea, so they just called you "good friends," a convenient label that kept the press off your backs. It worked, until it didn’t. Of course, rumors and speculation grew about the nature of your connection: friends or something more? It wasn’t something you were worried about, understanding that whatever they said didn’t change the fact that while you were more than friends, you were still less than official. It didn’t bother you half as much as it had bothered him. 

At the start of the rumors, he had opened up to you about his last public relationship. How she had received so much hate that she couldn’t handle it anymore, ending things with him in order to protect herself. How much it hurt him to watch someone he cared about so much go through so much pain because of his lifestyle. And she wasn’t even famous. He told you, then, about his fear of things getting out of hand with you. Since you both live in the limelight, how much worse it could be. You didn’t know it then, but that was his way of telling you that he wouldn’t be willing to take the risk to be with you fully.

It was at the height of the rumors that he had told you about her. Claiming that it was common amongst celebrities, saying that this “pr relationship” would be beneficial for both you and him, keeping the media out of whatever you two had going on. The way he had explained it, as a way to keep you private, at first, felt like a way of saying he didn’t want the innocence of your relationship situation being ruined by the harsh words of those who couldn’t keep their opinions to themselves. He told you that he didn’t want the two of you to rush into putting a label on things, only for it to get torn apart by the public eye. Now, you see that he really just wants to have you without the responsibility of defending you, you’re not worth the effort. 

Regardless, you thought that it would be over quick. That he’d tell you he’s ready to make it official, let the media know he’s ended things with her, and continue keeping your relationship private but not secret. Of course, you were wrong. But, what did you expect? You never said it out loud, never set any expectations with him. Why would he go through the effort of ending something that requires so little from him for something that might be too much to handle?

His phone buzzes again, interrupting your thoughts, and your heart squeezes painfully in your chest. Another distraction. Another reminder that you’ll never really be his priority. He gives you everything he can, and it’s always just enough to keep you hooked. Not too much, not too little. And that’s all it will ever be.

He spares his phone a quick glance, and you relish in the way he tosses it to the nightstand and brings his attention back to you. “Are you alright?” He asks, finally, his voice soft, breaking through the silence. He doesn’t know what’s going on in your head. He can’t, not unless you say it. But you won’t. Not when the end of this reality is already in sight.

“I’m fine,” you say, your voice a little too steady. His eyes narrow at you, eyebrows raising. He knows you well enough to see right through the lie, but he also knows you well enough to know that you don’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t push, just gives you a look that says everything. That he sees right through you, but he’ll let you hold onto your silence a little longer. He doesn’t argue, doesn’t try to force the words out of you. He knows better by now.

For a moment, you both just sit there, the silence between you two comfortable. You never feel awkward with Andrew. You try to distract yourself, trying to focus on the way his hand moves gently through your hair. His touch is soft and intimate, but it doesn’t reach you the way it used to. Now, it acts as a reminder of everything that’s always just out of reach. A reminder of what could be, but never will. His gaze flickers down to you, and there’s that smile again. That soft, lazy smile that’s always just enough to make your heart skip and make you forget every bit of pain and self-doubt he’s caused. 

“You know, this week was... nice,” you say, the words slipping out before you can stop them. What an understatement. You want to say that this week was exactly what you needed, that spending time being intimate with him is the greatest comfort you know. That you want nothing but to spend every second with him, that nothing compares to the way he makes you feel. But, you’ll leave it at ‘nice.’

His smile grows as he nods, a knowing look in his eyes. He’s not oblivious of your inner turmoil, but he’ll respect your wishes to move past it. “Yeah,” he says softly, his thumb now brushing across your cheek. “It was nice. It’s always nice to be alone with you”

You wish he would have the courage to say what you wanted to. To admit that this time spent together is more than just nice, that it’s everything. The thought of him finally admitting what you both know flashes through your mind before you can stop it. But of course, he doesn’t say that. He never does. He’s always so close, just a few words away, but he’s never given you more. That might be your fault, you’ve never really asked for more than he’s willing to give. The truth is, you’re afraid to. 

And not because you think he doesn’t feel the same, you know he does. You know he loves you, at least to some extent. You feel it in the way he holds you, the way his touch is always gentle, even in the most intimate moments. You feel it in the way he listens when you talk, how he’s present with you in those quiet spaces between the noise of the world. He makes you feel like you're the only one in the room, like nothing else matters when you’re around. His love is there, you know it, you feel it in every moment you share. But his fear might just outgrow it.

The thought creeps into your mind, and for the first time, it doesn’t sting as much as it used to. Maybe because you’re starting to accept that the love you share with him, as real as it is, will never be enough to make him choose you over his fear of the public, the press, everything that comes with being with someone like you.

His phone buzzes against the nightstand, and you know it’s her. You can feel it in the way his body tenses, the way his attention flickers. For a moment, you want to reach out, take the phone, and throw it out the window. But you won’t. Because that’s not you, you’ve got a better grip on your emotions. Andrew sighs softly, his eyes glancing at his phone but not picking it up. He looks back at you, the silence stretching longer now. You know he’s trying to figure out what to say, how to ease the troubles in your mind without actually knowing them.

He knows you’re tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of being the girl that no one knows about. You wish you could ask him what it would take for him to just choose you. But you don’t, because asking for that would mean acknowledging what’s never going to happen. And if you acknowledge it, the end will be real. Instead, you shift in his lap, trying to find some comfort in the closeness, and it isn’t working as well as usual. His hand lingers on your cheek, the touch warm, but not soothing the coldness you feel inside.

“Tomorrow’s the day,” you say softly, the words heavier than you expected. It’s the end of your time together. The last moment of this unending season of your life. Tomorrow. you both hit pause until the next time. “You’ll go back to the tour, and I’ll go back to everything else.”

He’s quiet for a moment, eyes still focused on yours. “Yeah,” he finally says, voice soft but distant. “I guess we don’t have a choice.” You nod, the lump in your throat growing as you tilt head away, unable to look at him. You want to scream at him that you do have a choice. That he could ask you to stay, ask you to finally do him the favour of being his. That there is another option, he just has to say it. 

“I know we don’t,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “But I wish we did.”

He sighs, eyes softening, his hand gently lifting your chin to meet his gaze. “I wish we did too. I wish I could give you what you need.” His voice is low, tinged with regret, and it makes your chest tighten in a way that hurts. 

It’s the closest you’ve ever come to talking about it, and it was barely anything. And for a brief moment, you think maybe there could be more. But the moment passes quickly, fading into that familiar silence between you two. He doesn’t press for more, and neither do you.

You sit up slowly, lifting your head from his lap, ignoring his confused look as you shake his hand from your face. His expression changes as you shift, legs settling to straddle him, lowering yourself on his lap as you rest your head against his chest. You close your eyes as he wraps his arms around you, relishing in his warmth, listening to his heartbeat, and begging for the ache to stop.

Andrew lets out a quick sigh, breaking your focus on his pulse. “So, how’s the new album coming along?” he asks, and you can hear the playful undertone.

You look up at him, seeing the mischief in his eyes. “It’s coming along,” you reply, trying your hardest to match his new mood. “You know, the usual. The pressure of getting it right, the expectations, the deadlines.”

He raises an eyebrow, leaning back slightly to get a better look at your face. “Oh, yeah? Any songs about me?” His grin widens as he teases, the atmosphere going back to something just as familiar. You can tell he’s just trying to lighten the mood, and the effort warms your heart.

You laugh softly, the sound escaping before you can stop it. It’s like a breath of relief after the worries in your troubled mind. You sit up straighter, locking eyes with him, and you can’t hide the honesty in your tone despite your teasing smirk. “They’re all about you, Andy. They always are.”

His smile falls for a second, like that’s not what he was expecting you to say, which he probably wasn’t. Before you have a chance to clarify, he’s leaning in. 

His lips capture yours in a kiss that’s too gentle for how much you both need it. It deepens quickly, the emotional tension feeling almost exactly like sexual. His hands slip around your waist, pulling you closer as your fingers pull at the hair on the nape of his neck.

You can’t help but give into him, the way his lips move against yours with the perfect mix of gentleness and desire. He kisses you like he’s always wanted this, and you think that maybe you have too. The thought of everything that you want to say but you can’t becomes a distant memory as his hands squeeze at your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

It doesn’t stay slow for long. The heat builds between you as his touch grows more urgent, more desperate. You can feel it in the way he moves, in the way his breath hitches when you tug a bit harder at his hair. You move your hands to roam over his body, exploring every inch of him. You trace the outline of his frame, the curves of his shoulders, and the defined muscles of his arms. Your hands are eager, and his hands match yours, caressing your body with a softness that has you trembling.

As the kiss deepens, his tongue teases your lips, asking for entry. You part your mouth immediately, inviting him in, and letting your tongues mix together. The taste of him is addicting, something you could never get tired of. His mouth leaves yours as he trails kisses down your neck, stopping briefly to suck at that spot just below your ear that has your back arching into him.

His hands move lower, his fingers trailing down your sides, pausing at the waistband of your silk pajama shorts. His warm touch is calming to your soul, but overwhelming to your body. He pulls his mouth from your neck and rests his forehead against yours, both of you huffing and sharing breath. Your eyes flutter open and you meet his darkened gaze, before you can speak, ask him why he stopped, he beats you to it.

“Whatever’s got you tangled up inside, let it go,” he whispers, his words slow and soft, but deliberate. “Let me take the weight off of you, love. Please.” His voice is whiny, borderline pleading. It makes your heart flutter, not just because of the softness in his words, but because he wants to take care of you. He’s offering himself, wanting to give you a release. And it’s real.

It reminds you that he’s here, now. As fully as he can be with you, and for the first time, you feel like maybe you’re both letting go of all the things that separate you. The world, the expectations, and the fear. It all slips away just for this moment. 

And maybe this is the realest you’ll get with him, but maybe that’s enough for now.

[no-gorms]

Omega Tony Stark getting baby fever later in life (at a similar time to Canon!Tony I guess so mid to late 40’s and let’s pretend there was no CW and the team is still all friends together*). And he never wanted kids before, in fact the very idea made him shudder! (à la IM3). Plus he resent the stereotype of “baby crazy omega” being foisted on him in his youth and fought HARD against it until the public all agreed with him, thank god Tony Stark never had kids.

but then he starts interacting with Peter and he’s getting more into mentoring and he’s been having these dreams of little babies with his eyes…

And like, he knows his body has been thru the wringer even BEFORE the reactor and he hasn’t been gentle since. And he’s been single for years now so it’s not like he has a partner to help him get the job done…

So good thing he has a team! And what luck, he’s besties with some demi-gods and super soldiers and wizards, at least one of them should help cheat biology a bit. And miraculously he’s still getting heats! Inconsistent ones yeah but still, doesn’t hurt to try! better get a move on, the biological clock is ticking!!!

And so he calls a team meeting and asks very sweetly for any volunteers, and Alphas or Beta’s for something like a sperm donor, but if they wanna be part of the little nugget’s life Tony is down with that! Be it cool uncle or full co-parent it’s all gravy. And speaking of gravy

(Yes Tony swung this hypothetical talk by HR and they “highly recommended against it but it isn’t technically illegal…” (thanks to archaic omega laws) so he took that go ahead and ran)

And wouldn’t you know it? Ever since Steve told Tony about his parents and Bucky and some…heated disagreements about the team and politics there’s been some polite distance between them. And during this distance Steve of course realized he had feeling for Tony (king of waiting to long over here) and has been pining every since…

…so maybe that’s why Steve stands up and essentially, loudly, volunteers as tribute, talking loudly over like say Thor who was clearly about to also agree.

Does Tony accept this outright or does shenanigans happen where like, Thor challenges Steve to some kind of contest for the privilege. Or that Tony was gonna leave it up to people to donate anonymously or something but Steve just jumped in feet first

What happens next? Do they try turkey baster style first or is it a known fact in the Omegaverse that the “old fashioned way” is the most effective (blah blah special pheromones thru touch/heat/ancient breeding magic blah blah). Does Steve wanna go full co-parent? Do they start dating DURING the “attempts”? While Tony is preggers?? After the baby gets here???

(preggers!Tony fretting about what to wear on their first date while just SO VERY pregnant is hilarious to me.)

*Or if you wanna go full angst CW DOES happen but the team was able to come together and defeat Thanos and now they are technically all together and friends again but there are ~*~tensions~*~ and (TヘT) …distance~*~ + pining

---

Lol well that's a fun scenario! I don't think Thor would challenge Steve for the honour, but he might see the determined glint in Steve's eye and think to himself, ah what fun! And make a show of trying to convince Tony that he's a better prospect than Steve, arguing about Asgardian genes and the ease of the pregnancies in Thor's family, meanwhile Steve is getting redder and redder in the face, but anyway Tony's like, actually I don't want my kid to suddenly start levitating or whatever magic nonsense you guys get up to, so Steve it is!

Steve would probably suggest the turkey baster (lol) insemination for Tony's ease but it doesn't take and Tony gets anxious because of super soldier swimmers are struggling with Tony's slightly(!) aging self then he might really have a problem so ANYWAY would Steve be up for going the traditional way?

Yes. Yes, Steve would. Anyway it's the best sex Tony's had in his life and he's just like, okay, what was that. Maybe... they can go again just to make sure. A third time, just to be REALLY sure. Then oh he's pregnant so. uh..... that's good. Good job, Steve. Thnx~

But intimacy is what it is and the spectacular sex may have addled Tony's brain because he's totally fine with Steve fussing around him, and asking very politely if he can be part of the child's life and will Tony allow him to take care of Tony during this time? With foot rubs and making drinks for him and fetching hot water bottles and calming Tony down whenever Tony has an attack of the doubts, and so on?

Then Steve is so focused on giving Tony everything he wants and anticipating his every need to make sure the pregnancy goes as smooth as possible, that he misses that Tony is having a slowly-unraveling meltdown under Steve's glorious attention.

I see your possible date while Tony is heavily pregnant, but also I think it would be hilarious if Tony is so determined not to lose focus on the baby, because his priorities have to change with this gift he is bringing into the world and there's no energy left over to do something about developing feelings for Steve (never mind that Tony is king as multitasking)...

But at the very last minute when Steve has sent Tony to the hospital and they're prepping for Tony's c-section, and Tony has another flash of fear for the soon-changing future, and grabs Steve for a big ol' smooch. Steve is shocked, but smooches back. Then Tony gets rolled out to the OR.

[changbinsboobs]

* Timeframes for meeting their FS

Please

First things first, im shit with timeframes when reading tarot so this won't be straight forward answers, rather i think i'll be getting the energy of the time period they'll be in when they meet them but unless i specifically pick on something time-wise and say it - then i have no idea when they'll be meeting them.

"Timeframes" for Skz meeting their FS

Chan

Ok this is just a wild guess but i think it might be after skz disband or he in some way loses Skz. He'll be crying over this loss but my guy doesn't know that with closing this door another one opens. Again this is a guess, it could relate to other things too - the energy im seeing is that he loses something of value and grieves over it, but doesn't see what blessing is hiding just behind the corner. Oh also forgot to mention, this won't happen right away, thats the "activator" of their meeting, and during that transition period a few months may go by before they meet, although im not seeing much more than half a year AT MOST.

Lee Know

Ok, this is really interesting but im seeing him being extremely lucky and having already met his Soulmate (mind you not FS) years ago when he was younger and had no clue at all, and them life brought them apart. This is not really in the cards but rather my own personal feeling with this energy, that this is not his future spouse, so im susceptible to believe he either will not marry long into the future, or his FS is still undetermined, he won't marry at all or he will remarry, and thats why i may be reading on a second spouse, not the first. There's many possibilities here, do with that what u will.

Changbin

Ok this is a very unclear/difficult energy to read and im not picking on much other than that he's determined to find love and for him im actually seeing 1. a timeframe and 2. reaching financial success? So idk what to make of that. The timeframe shows 1 year. So he may have some sort of plan regarding his finances and he has put lots of energy into that till now, and still continues, but now his focus is also on love. Im seeing him already tapping, no being in the "energy field" of finding a soulmate/love, so maybe in a year something career or finance wise will happen, and that could be the "initiator" of their meeting to happen. This could be the last piece of the puzzle bringing him a certain feeling of security and peace of mind that might be missing right now. Im seeing things progressing very quickly too, in the matter of weeks after their first meeting, cuz my guy will eat her up and woo her as fast as he can.

Hyunjin

Ok this is also very interesting cuz i thought i'd be looking long into the future with those readings but till now, lots of them were actually kinda close energetically wise, except maybe for chan. But i guess it could be making sense cuz they're in their mid twenties and thats the time people already start getting married, and i guess they need to date for a while first if they're gonna get married in their thirties so it makes sense for them to be already close to meeting their fs or having already met them. Cuz meeting them at all doesn't always guarantee starting to date immediately yk. But anyways back to hyunjin😅 for him im seeing he either already met his FS a few weeks/months ago (like max. 3 months) or will be meeting them around that time in the future. But the thing with him is he would be absolutely clueless and either will have a bad impression of them or leave a bad impression on them...or both. Probably both😂 cuz im seeing him having this expectation for this to be some lifechanging experiwnce, fireworks firing, waterfalls falling, the world is singing around them - but in reality its not...not at all like that. He will probably be in a bit of an annoyed mood because of something else and his FS will catch him in a bad moment, and im seeing him being really defensive, sensitive, annoyed and just kind of dismissing towards them. As i said he'll be clueless that this could be his FS and probably act like a fool, and as said - leave a bad impression. This is just a hunch but i think between the initial meeting and them actually getting together is a bit of a gap, so yeah, as i said, just a sense but could be a few years or at least a couple few months before they get together.

Han

Omg another one with very present day energy. There's two possibilities. He either is running away from his FS currently, cuz he's just not ready for comittment, afraid of love and wants to keep his freedom and feel young - oooooorrrrr he's meeting them pretty pretty soon, like in the next like week or so, and he's meeting them in a very unpleasant situation. Im seeing him feeling very uncomfortable and anxious because of something, and them they come to his rescue and bring him a sense of balance and security, and breath some confidence into him. That would be the clues for their initial meeting - and im not quite sure which of the two versions apply for his case, so yeah

Felix

Oooohhhghhgc myyy godddd, those keep getting mire and more interesting. So for this one im pretty sure has not only already met them but actually been with them✨ what im seeing here that they were either having a fling or like just stepping into the first stages of dating etc. or they were in a full on committed relationship, but they had fights, couldn't get along and broke up leaving them both heartbroken. He has put that heartbreak into creativity. Not quite sure when that was taking place. Im getting months tho. Either the heartbreak took place a few months ago or they met around 3 months ago and they just recently broke up. Y'all should look out for the bangers that will come out of that heartbreak.😂🙌🏻✨🥲

Seungmin

No soulmates for him🥲💀 my guys just looking at the practicality and he's in thoughts who out of all his options should he choose (excuse mw how many do you have🤨) im seeing him being pretty comfortable but then once again im really uncertain between 2 scenarios, either first one is being he's already thinking about that and what(who) he should choose to deepen things with and get serious, orrrrrr, he feels like he should do that soon, but doesn't want to, so he enjoys his bachelor life a bit more as long as he can and then once he gets a few years older and has quenched his thirst his choosing quickly just "the next best thing" and is getting married. Wow. His readings always shock me so much.

I.N

That one's quite a bit into the future im seeing around 4 years from now, and they'll be meeting when he's in a really bad place mentally. Im seeing him going through a life-changing stage of his life, kind of like an awakening or dark night of the soul. Not necessarily in the spiritual sense but just his state of being, or even his physical life suddenly transforms so quickly he doesnt even know where it hit him from. And he'll have A LOT to deal with internally and even externally, it will be quite the process for him but at the end he'll reach "enlightenment" (or just the next, more conscious, stage of his life) and his FS will pop up out of nowhere. As his little gift✨

* Also surprisingly this went down much easier than i thought, i think i got quite some details and quite a few timeframes, didn't expect that honestly. Not complaining😌

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: i saw that you’re opening requests for f1 drivers.. can i request angst to fluff with seb vettel where him and reader are dating but he breaks up with the her to focus on the wdc (set in 2013) and she ends up rebounding with fernando which makes seb really jealous,, anyways after winning he publicly confesses his love for the reader or something, u can choose whether the reader gets back with seb or stays with fernando idm teehee ❤️❤️ love youu (anonymous)

Word Count: 1095 words

(author's note: another longer one !! i did think i was going to have to postpone it but i managed to get it finished for you all 🩷)

Sebastian always knew he wanted to be a World Champion. Ever since he was a little boy in his racing kart, he knew he wanted to be one of the best racing drivers the world had ever seen. He also knew that he would sacrifice anything to achieve his dreams, but he never thought it would actually get to that point.

It was mid-way through the 2013 Formula 1 season and Sebastian was one of the strongest contenders for the Championship. His girlfriend at the time, Y/N, couldn't be more proud of Sebastian, especially since she knew how hard he had worked to get to his current position.

However, after a meeting with his strategists, team leaders and various other important people, Sebastian's perspective of his relationship had been tainted and darkened. Somehow the meeting had managed to brainwash him into thinking Y/N was a distraction. An enemy. An obstacle; preventing his Championship dreams from coming true.

The next step in Sebastian's Championship chase was a heated argument with Y/N in his drivers room. Insults were hurled, every single one out of anger, not one of them holding any truth. And then came the final devastating line;

“I'm done. We're over,” Sebastian said. His gaze was cold as he stared at Y/N, eyes void of any emotion.

Her lip trembled as she nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Y/N turned on her heel and headed towards the door. As her fingers grasped the handle, she hesitated.

“Good luck with the Championship. I hope it's worth it.”

With that, she opened the door and walked out.

Eventually the season came to a close. Sebastian Vettel was World Champion. Again. But something wasn't right. He should be happy, right? He had gotten what he wanted all along.

Wrong. All Sebastian felt while holding his trophy was guilt and regret. The pit in his stomach deepened even further when he saw Y/N in the crowd with a man's arm wrapped around her waist. His eyes moved to the face of the individual and he did a double take when he realised who it was.

Fernando Alonso.

Sebastian had been too caught up in training and strategizing to see that Y/N had moved on. He saw the adoration in her eyes as she looked at the man next to her. He knew that look all too well, because that's how she used to look at him.

Maybe they were just friends? Sebastian's brain was thinking of every possible explanation. He hadn't actually seen or heard any confirmation they were dating. Although he had been too caught up in his own life to even notice anything or anyone else.

Before he could realise, he was being forced into an interview on stage.

“Sebastian!” The interviewer began, “World Champion again, how does it feel?”

“Uh- yeah it feels great obviously, it's always been my dream to be up here, winning as many times as possible.”

“Do you have anything you'd like to say to the fans in front of you?”

“Well, thank you for all your continued support, it means the world to me,” He said smiling at the crowd, “But most of all, I want to say sorry to one person in particular. Y/N, I wish I could take back everything I said to you all those months ago. This victory feels hollow without you to celebrate it with.”

The interviewer looked stunned and so did the crowd.

Y/N's face dropped when she heard Sebastian's improvised speech. As she felt the weight of thousands of eyes on her, she began to move through the crowd. Pushing through bodies, she desperately tried to escape the masses of people. Fernando was hot on her heels, not wanting his girlfriend to be alone.

Sebastian saw her rush off through the crowd and he knew he had royally messed everything up.

"Y/N, wait! I'm sorry, just wait please-" Sebastian thrust the microphone he was holding into the interviewer's hand and scrambled off the stage. He shoved his way through the fans frantically, following the footsteps of his ex-girlfriend.

He eventually found her (and Fernando) outside the Ferrari garage. Y/N's face was pressed into Fernando's chest as she sobbed. Sebastian watched from afar, realising what he had actually done. He knew he needed to speak to Y/N, but he didn't know if she would want to speak to him.

Sebastian eventually mustered up the courage to walk over to the pair. Fernando spotted him first, his face twisting into one of disgust.

"What do you want Vettel? You have your Championship, come to ask for my girlfriend too?"

"No! I just- I wanted-"

"You were so bold a moment ago? Spit it out, don't you think you've done enough damage for one day?" Fernando spat.

"Look, I know what I did was wrong, and I want to apologise.”

Y/N moved away from her boyfriend's chest and looked up at the blonde man infront of her.

“I'll meet you in your drivers room Fernando, I'd like to hear this.”

The Spaniard nodded, pressed a kiss to Y/N's forehead and walked off.

An awkward silence fell over the pair.

"So, you and Fernando? When did that happen?"

"Why does that matter? We broke up months ago, Sebastian. I moved on, you clearly didn't."

"Look, I'm glad you're happy now. If I knew about you and Fernando I never would've made a scene, I promise. I just realised that all the Championships and celebrations have meant nothing without you.”

"Too little too late Sebastian. I wanted you to win as much as you wanted to win yourself. But you couldn't see that. You were blinded by your ambitions, and I couldn't compete with that.”

"I'm sorry.”

"I know you are.”

Y/N stared at Sebastian pitifully. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him gently. He was taken aback, but he accepted the embrace gratefully.

"You'll find someone else to celebrate with, you're Sebastian Vettel.”

"It still won't be the same without you.”

The pair finally broke out of the hug and tears glistened in Sebastian's eyes.

"Fernando's waiting for me, I should probably go. Goodbye Sebastian.”

"Goodbye Y/N. I hope you can forgive me someday.”

"I've always forgiven you Seb, before you even knew you were sorry."

With one last shared look, Y/N turned around and headed off to find Fernando, leaving Sebastian standing alone. He had achieved his dreams and more, but at the cost of his future.

[yourmamakira]

can you do some colby brock one shots plz?😋 love you🫶🫶

Omg. You're my first request in a year 🥹YES YES OFC I WILL GIVE YOU COLBY!

"SOMBER BEGINNINGS"

C. BROCK, she/her

Set in the early Sam and Colby days. "When Reader and Colby meet at a Highschool party in the 2000s, prom night didn't start well, until the two met and changed their lives forever."

The year was in the 2000. When being a dick was a fashion trend. And unfortunately for reader, she had been a victim of one of the biggest dicks in the school.

She had been asked to the dance by Bryce, one of the most popular boys who had a history of being a dick. Matter of fact, he was the biggest dick anyone could ever meet.

Reader wasn't the ugliest girl in school but she dam sure wasn't the most attractive. She'd seen herself as very mid. So when Bryce asked her out, she wanted to believe it wasn't some prank, but she gave it a shot. People could change, right?

It was the night of the dance, the sophomore had put on her best dress for her first real dance she ever attended. She had on converses to match with her old hand me down dark green dress.

She walked into the massive gym which was filled to the brim with explosive teens and music as She looked around in search of her date.

She further looked around while walking deeper into the sweaty gym. She had gotten there kinda late and the dance had already started, but it's not like she was in any rush.

She gave up looking for a second and went over to the juice bar, she grabbed the least suspicious looking Punch and grabbed a cup hoping it wouldn't be liquor.

She took a sip and sighed in relief tasting it was normal punch, she turned around and bumped into a chest.

She looked up to be met with the most beautiful pair of icy blue eyes she had ever seen in her life, the boy looked back down at her and they were in some type of trance.

He smiled and her heart skipped a beat, his teeth were perfectly white and his hair was straight out of my chemical romance.

She was only snapped out of her spell when he spoke, "My bad, I didn't mean to bump into you, I hope I didn't ruin you're pretty dress"

She looked down at her dress and seen is was perfectly fine, "not at all, it was already crappy anyways" she chuckled nervously. He made her nervous.

He looked her up and down from head to toe, "I don't think it's crappy." He spoke with such certainty it made her heart flutter.

She looked back up at him and then back down to her cup, she was going to speak before a voice called out and joined the pair.

"Yo Colby! What are you doing brother?" A blonde with messy hair and bright eyes came over to the her and Colby,

he looked between the two before his eyes settled on her, " Who's this?" Colby looked at Sam before looking back at her.

She grew nervous as both pairs of blue eyes settled on her, "I-I'm [Y/N], I'm a sophomore, I'm in your guy's chemistry class..."

They looked between each other before smiling, Sam smiled before nodding his head, "oh yeah! I remember you, your that girl who drew that sick ass drawing, right?"

She nodded and smiled while looking down, "yeah, that's me."

They were going to speak before they were yet again cut off, a voice drew them away from her, Sam smiled before saying a goodbye and then walking away,

Colby looked back at her with that same smile she wished didn't have to leave, "I'll see you around, [Y/N]." She nodded before watching Colby leave.

She smiled to herself before one of her few friends came over to grab her,

"[Y/N]! Where have you been?" We've been looking for you everywhere!" The girl looked back to where she last seen Colby to not be able to find him.

She sighed before being pulled away onto the dance floor, she had long forgotten about her date, not thinking much of it.

An hour has passed and she was having more fun then she thought she would, and just when she Thought she was safe out of the corner of her eye she spotted Bryce, with another girl grinding up against him.

She sucked in a breath before turning back around, she held back a few tears and turned back around.

"HEY [Y/N]!"

She spun around and was met with a cup of fruit punch to her dress, she gasped and looked up to see Bryce and the girl he was with laughing their asses off.

They snickered in joy, "You really thought I would want to be seen with a loser like you?"

She couldn't hold back the tears anymore and she began to walk out of the gymnasium, she bumped right into a chest and looked up to see Colby,

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at the girl he hadn't seen not to long ago perfectly fine. "[Y/N]?"

She shook her head as she let out a chocked sob as she ran out of the gym and out of the school.

She walked out into the play ground and sat on the swing. She took off her shoes and broke down. She had actually fallen for Bryce's Tricks. Believing she was different than any other girl at her school.

She soon wished it Was Liquor instead of actual juice.

She sobbed for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes before hearing a set of foot steps go to sit on the swing beside her.

She looked the other way not wanting to face the embarrassment of tonight.

And just when her night couldn't get anymore bizarre a voice she didn't expect piped up beside her.

"You know, your dress isn't completely ruined."

She whipped her head up to be faced with the same Icy blue eye she couldn't stop thinking about through out the night.

She looked back down at her dress to see a deep red stain from the juice. She chuckled dryly .

"Not like it matters now..."

He tilted his head to the side, "why is that?"

She looked back at him and sadly smiled, "not like I have a real prom date anyways. Just an Unless dress for a supposed unless girl like me..." tears began to brim her eyes once more, making her eye lashes stick together in a clumpy look.

Suddenly the breeze of the night time was gone and she was covered with a blazer, she looked over to Colby and saw that smile again, he held out his hand and she looked down at it.

She took his hand and he shook it but didn't let it go.

"We never properly met. Hi, My names Colby Brock, what's your name?"

She hiccups and then sniffled before wiping her eyes dry.

She shook his hand back and kept her hold, "Hi Colby, My names [Y/N] [L/N], nice to meet you."

"Hi [Y/N], Would you like to go the dance with me?"

She gasped quietly and her cheeks began to heat up, Colby waited patiently for her answer and she looked down at their hands.

She looked back up at Colby and smiled slightly, "I would love to go to the dance with you, Colby."

He stood up from the swing and she followed suit. He raised his hand and wiped her eyes dry of the rest of her tears.

They looked into the eyes of the other and it was as if two worlds mixed with one. She knew this was the start of somthing. The start of something life changing.

And so did he, and they couldn't be more happy.

Sorry this took SO long, and this is kinda a long one but I hope you and the others like it 🥹