#anyways i hope gavi and all of you are having a great day!

[pablogavira]

Volem la pilota.

[lucy90712]

Hey Lucy 🌷

I was wondering if you were open to do some boyfriend/ dating headcanons for the boys you want to write it for?

A/n: This is a headcannon all of the random ideas I came up with over the course of a few days there is no structure too it but I hope you enjoy it anyway

Gavi 

- He is as passionate off the pitch as he is on it he always gives his all in everything in life and your relationship is no exception once he's in he's all in and that's what makes him a great boyfriend. 

- Anyone that knows Pablo knows he's not much of a talker he's always been quite shy and for a while he was the same around you until he felt completely comfortable around you and he was able to open up. Once he opens up you almost don't recognise him as he will sometimes spend hours just talking at you without any breaks. You love it though as it means he feels comfortable enough around you to break down all the walls he's put up. 

- Pablo is incredibly physically affectionate. That is how he shows his love as he often doesn't know how to find the words to express his love for you so he shows it in his own way. This way involves having his arms around you as much as he can and constantly giving you kisses. He probably gives you over 100 kisses each day and he won't settle for any less he makes sure he gives you kisses from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. Any free time he has is spent with his arms around your waist as there is nowhere he'd rather be than enjoying your company. 

- Jealousy is just something that comes with dating Pablo. He's very possessive he doesn't like any other guys flirting with you or even looking at you the wrong way. No matter how subtle these guys try to be he can always tell when they are trying to flirt with you and he will always give them a death stare until they back off. Sometimes he goes too far and tries to stop you talking to other guys but once his jealousy calms down he realises he can't control you and he has to just trust that you'll always come home with him.

- He is obsessed with seeing you wear his Barça or Spain shirts part of it probably comes from his possessiveness and liking you to wear his name on your back. He is always bringing you new shirts any time they are released so half your wardrobe is made up of football shirts. The shirts can't just be any shirts though they are always ones he's worn in matches as then they are special and sometimes he'll even write on the shirts if they are from a special match so that when you wear it you are reminded of that day. 

- Pablo has quite a short fuse it doesn't take much to annoy him most of the time but he never gets mad around you. You can tease him like his teammates do but he won't get mad he'll just distract you by kissing you or he gets all shy until you stop. No one understands why he doesn't get annoyed at you but he just doesn't he can't bring himself to shout at you or playfully hit your arm to get you to stop. Something about the mischievous look on your face when you tease him stop any anger from building up in him he just can't bring himself to be mad when you look so cute. 

- Pablo doesn't seem like the type of person to think too much about the future but he loves to think about his future with you. His injury reminded him that everything in life isn't a given so it made him appreciate everything he had including you a hell of a lot more. He really started to think about how he wanted to marry you and have kids with you he wants his whole future to be with you. At one point he seriously considered proposing but someone manage to talk sense into him and told him to wait a couple more years until he was back playing and you had finished your degree but it's still something he thinks about a lot. 

Pedri 

- For a while Pedri wasn't sure he was ready to settle down but as soon as he met you that changed. Suddenly all he wanted was you to be in his life and he knew you wouldn't accept a quick fling but he didn't want that either he wanted you and no one else. Once you two had started dating he couldn't be happier and he wondered why he was so hesitant to live his life that way beforehand but that doesn't really matter now he has you.  

- Pedri's family is everything to him so it was important to him that they liked you but there was nothing for either of you to worry about as they all loved you. From the moment you met them his parents loved you like their own child so you became part of the family straight away. Over time you have become so integrated into the family that it's pretty much expected that you'll attend any family event with or without Pedri as the whole family sees you as one of them. 

- There is nothing Pedri enjoys more than a quiet night in with you. He's not one for going out and drinking he much prefers to spend the evening on the sofa cuddling with you while watching a movie. Half the time he doesn't even watch the movie he just watched you as you are leaned against his chest while he plays with your hair. After a long day getting to unwind on the sofa with you is all he wants. 

- Before meeting you Pedri didn't have the best style but once you got your hands on his wardrobe it improves. He liked seeing you wear his clothes so you had to tell him he needed to get better clothes if he wanted you to wear them and he takes that seriously. He happily lets you go shopping with him to find some new clothes that aren't the hideous skinny jeans he had before which he wasn't sure about but when he sees how much you love his new style he begins to like it more too. 

- You were a football and barca fan long before you met Pedri so of course you are a fan of some of the older players. Being the great boyfriend that he is Pedri will get you signed shirts from some of your favourites because he remembers what it's like to be a fan of all these players and now he has the luxury of playing with or against them he likes to take advantage of it. He has managed to get you shirts signed by Busquets, Messi, Neymar and a few others which are proudly in your collection.

- Pedri sometimes gets jealous of you and Nilo, he knew you'd love the dog as you'd been talking about getting a dog for months but he didn't expect to lose his place in bed every night. When he comes home you are always cuddling with Nilo and when he tries to take the dogs place he usually gets growled at or pushed to the side. You do try to teach Nilo not to do that but he doesn't seem to grasp that Pedri was here before he was. Pedri does love to see how much Nilo loves you even though he brought him home and now he's been long forgotten your love for the puppy does make him smile. 

- When you move into Pedri's place you can tell that he's the only one who lives there the place is completely devoid of character only what is necessary is there. You completely change that you bring lots of little decorations to have round the place so it feels more homely. To start with he hated it he thought the place looked cluttered but he soon got used to it and started to love seeing all your little touches around the home including your million hair ties and lip balms that you leave everywhere. 

Jude 

- Jude is very proud of your relationship he truly loves you and he wants to show you off if he can sneak pictures of you onto his Instagram either on his story or his photo dumps he will. Your relationship is private but it's not at all secret if you want to post together you will and if you want to go somewhere together even if you'll be seen you do. You are always at Jude's games wearing his shirt to support him because you supporting him means more than hiding everything from the media and fans. 

- He is and always will be your passenger princess even if he learns to drive or you teach him he will still want you to drive everywhere. He just loves to sit in the passenger seat and watch you drive he has a whole album on his phone filled with pictures of you driving. You just have the cutest concentration face that he can't help but stare at as you drive. 

- Jude loves to buy you gifts. He's alway coming home with things for you they aren't always big things more often than not it's simple things like flowers or your favourite chocolates but on occasion he will bring home jewellery or other things that he sees that he thinks you'll like. Anything that reminds him of you he will get for you as he loves seeing the smile on your face. Every time you tell him off for spending his money on things for you when you already have enough but he doesn't listen in fact he enjoys watching you try to be mad at him when you actually aren't. 

- Since Jude went to Dortmund you made a lot of sacrifices for your relationship and Jude doesn't just sweep that under the rug he really appreciates everything you have done for him and to keep your relationship alive. For him to have his dream you've had to put yours aside but once you move to Madrid he really wants to let you have a go at yours dreams too. He makes sure to support you and help you as you are finally able to finish your education and work towards the career you want so you two can be a proper power couple. 

- His family are all really close despite not living all in the same country which is something you really admire. They are all so kind and are willing to help whenever you need them they are truly like a second family to you. Even if Jude's not around they will treat you like part of the family in fact when you go home even if it's just for a day or two they always offer their spare room to you or invite you over for dinner. You always appreciate how they always treat you the same whether Jude is there or not as to you that shows that they really like you.

- Jude is always just the sweetest boyfriend ever. You can never feel insecure when Jude is around as he's always complimenting everything about you until you are a complete blushing mess. He always seems to know when you aren't feeling confident and he'll go to extra effort to make sure you know that you are perfect to him which usually makes you feel better. After realising that what other people say really seems to affect you Jude makes sure that he blocks any accounts that say bad things about you and filters comments on yours and his posts so you aren't as exposed to all the negativity and can be the happy confident person he loves so much. 

- You and Jude really grew up together you were so young when you started dating that you really learned who you were and matured together. Jude really helped you come out of your shell as you got older you were always quite shy and would rather let other people do the talking but he encouraged you and helped you become more confident in yourself. It's thanks to him that you are able to talk to people at parties and events that you go to with him and you can stand up for yourself because his confidence rubbed off on you. 

Joao 

- Joao will be forever grateful that he found you you've been a constant in his life when everything else was changing. He finds comfort in your presence you are the one person he knows he can go to about anything as you always know what to say and how to make him feel better. 

- After a few instances of losing you in a crowd he refuses to go anywhere with you without touching you in some way to make sure you are safe. In big crowds he will always have hold of your hand and stand in front of you to lead you through to wherever you are going. Other times he will just have a hand on your waist or your back to keep you close. 

- One of the first things that told Joao you were the one was when you met Floki for the first time. Floki can be funny around new people he doesn't always like them and he seems to always be a good judge of character but the second you walked into Joao's place for the first time Floki was running up to you licking all over your face. That dog loved you probably more than him which told him all he needed to know about you as a person and how you would be the one for him if he could just keep you around which he managed to do. 

- Joao bought both of you necklaces with your respective initials as sort of a joke gift one Christmas but now he doesn't take his off. Unless he's playing he always wears his necklace with your initial on it even though it's only a cheap necklace he bought as a joke he love always having a piece of you with him. While he's playing and can't wear his necklace you always wear yours as he thinks it brings him good luck and because you like to support him in your own way. 

- If there's one thing Joao loves it's a trip somewhere warm when he has any time off and of course you have to come with him or the trip would be no fun. It doesn't matter where you go as long as there's a beach and you bring plenty of pretty sun dressed and bikinis as Joao loves to admire you when you have that sun kissed glow. Holidays with Joao are always great as they are the perfect mix of relaxation and getting to explore wherever you go and he always treats you like a princess the entire time. 

- Any big life decisions that Joao has to make he will always tell you about before anyone else. Whenever his agent receives offers from another club or his contract was up for renewal he always discusses it with you as it impacts your life just as much as his. If you even so much as hunt that you aren't happy with him moving to a certain club or country he'll tell his agent to decline the offer because if you aren't happy then he knows he won't be happy. You two are a team and you always come as a pair no matter the situation as that's just how your relationship works. 

- Joao loves to learn things from you. You are always leaning something new even if it's just silly little fun facts and Joao loves to hear them. He's learnt so much from you which he's always sharing with other people but he has to make sure they know the facts came from you. He loves when you get obsessed with learning about a new topic and all you do is passionately tell him all about it while you both lay in bed. Sometimes you realise that you are talking a lot and try to stop but he doesn't let you he always asks more questions to get you back talking as he never wants you to feel insecure about one of his favourite quirks of yours. 

Ruben 

- Ruben is all about commitment, once he knows he has feelings for you he won't talk to any other girls even if you aren't exclusive yet because he knows he wants you and he doesn't see the point in talking to anyone that's not you. Once you are officially together he is well and truly committed you won’t find him texting other girls or commenting on posts that aren't yours because he doesn't want anything to be able to be taken out of context and upset you as he loves you. He's fiercely loyal and you love him for that as it makes you feel much more secure in your relationship. 

- He's all about keeping healthy and working out so when you actually agree to join him in the gym or for a run he loves it. On those days he usually gets less done as he's always watching you or spotting you as he teaches you new exercises to work different muscles. Working out is something he enjoys so he likes to do it with you as it's a part of his world he can actually share with you. 

- Usually Ruben hates to do nothing he doesn't like sitting still and relaxing but when he's with you he will do it all day. If you want to lay in bed all day and relax he will be right there with you watching silly rom com movies and cuddling you. When he's with you he doesn't find it so boring to do nothing as he enjoys the way you comment on how idiotic some of the characters are and he enjoys just watching your face as you finally get to relax after a long week. 

- Ruben will always at least attempt to try out any hobbies you pick up whether it's something simple like reading a book from a series your obsessed with or joining you at a painting class as you've decided you need to be more creative. He will try anything at least once because he likes to know what you do with your free time so when you talk about it he can understand a bit more. It's not often that he sticks with your hobbies as most of them aren't his thing but he also wants you to have things you can do without him he just likes to try them out as you do the same for him. 

- Pretty much as soon as you are serious in your relationship Ruben asks you to move in with him. You already spend so much time together and more often than not you sleep over at Ruben's so to him it's a no brainier and it makes your life so much easier. He's so ready for you to move in that by the time you've got boxes together he's already cleared room in his wardrobe and chest of draws for your stuff. He also sets up his spare room as an office for you with no questions asked all of a sudden it's not longer a spare room there's a desk and a computer as well a little decorations he knows you'll like. 

- Ruben is your biggest supporter because you are always his. Anything you do he will be right behind you cheering you on whether it's something small like finishing a big project at work or getting a promotion. He will always try to make time to come to your work events like the Christmas party as he knows these sort of events aren't your favourite things and he's more than happy to take over the conversation about how great you are. Of course he doesn't always have time but he will always support you the best he can as he wants you to feel like what you do is just as important as football. 

- Some of the best memories you two have together are from your days spend back in Ruben's hometown. Quite early on you got to know his friends and family so whenever you go out there you always have lots of fun. That's not the main reason you love it though it's the getting to spend quality time together without worrying about you having work the next day or Ruben having training. It's not often that you get to spend that much time with Ruben so you always enjoy every second with him and the people he loves the most. 

[oliviablancmom]

"Enemies - Pablo Gavi (Part III)"

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x OC! character

A/N: These two decided to talk to me tonight. As I said before, it is challenging to write them, but fun. I loved writing this chapter because they begin to have realizations about each other's presence while the enemy side is screaming lol. Anyway, for obvious reasons, some game events will have to be changed for the sake of the plot. I hope you enjoy it!!"

2021

Florence was attentively reading the papers her grandfather had given her, marking them as he had taught her, completely focused on the task, so she didn’t hear her father entering her room. The man watched her closely and then approached, gently touching her shoulder to avoid startling her.

“What’s all this?” he asked curiously, trying to get a glimpse of the documents. Florence looked at him, finally noticing the older man’s presence, who smiled and placed a kiss on her head. Florence smiled at the gesture.

“Hi, Dad. These are just some club reports that Grandpa wanted me to review before starting college...” Florence replied with a smile, trying to ease the concern she saw in her father’s eyes. She knew that he was still uneasy about her involvement in the business, but there was nothing he could say to change her mind.

"Don't you think this is too much? By the way, I don't think we've ever talked about this directly, but are you sure this is what you want? Your grandfather can't force you to follow this path." The man said in a firmer tone, and Florence suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. The relationship between them wasn't great, and she often felt like a pawn caught between the two, a means for one to get back at the other, even if it wasn't intentional—that's how she felt.

"Of course, this is what I want. And it's not like I'm taking on anything tomorrow. I have a long way to go before I'm considered capable, and not just someone receiving an inheritance," Florence said firmly. "I'm just learning; it's no big deal." Her father let out a nasal chuckle, looking at her with pride.

"I know, but your grandfather can be quite harsh when he wants to. I...I just don't want you to push yourself too hard." He crossed his arms with concern, and Florence felt a tightness in her chest. She understood her father's worries; she never quite understood what had happened between the two of them, but they both carried wounds that were completely visible to her. Florence smiled once more, hoping to soothe her father's heart, got up from the bed, and walked over to hug him.

"You guys are being so dramatic about this. It's no big deal, and I'm fine, I promise." Florence assured him, and the man breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're right, and you can count on me. But don't tell your grandfather I said that," he added, laughing, and Florence joined in. The older man gave her one last kiss on the head and soon left the room, leaving her alone.

She understood her father's insecurities. Many of his were her own, but she also didn't want to disappoint her grandfather, who had already invested so much time and effort in her. She just wanted to make the older man proud for having seen something in her.

**********************************************

Gavi bitterly regretted accepting the invitation to that party. Not that he didn't like it, but he just wasn't in the mood to enjoy himself that day. So, he limited himself to sitting on the couch outside the house, fiddling with his phone.

"Wow, Gavira, you're so welcoming and friendly," said Cris, his friend, laughing as he approached the couch where the player was lying. Gavi looked up at him, shrugging, himself didn't understand his lack of enthusiasm for being there.

"You should be celebrating your call-up to the national team," Cris continued, trying to cheer him up.

"I am, internally... Who are all these people by the way?" Gavi asked, referring to the others present in the house. "I thought I was your only friend."

"Ha! Well, friends and friends who bring other friends. At this point, I have no idea who they are either," Cris said, looking around making Gavi laugh. "I'm going back inside. Please go enjoy the party, there are plenty of girls around wanting your attention.

Gavi just nodded, rolling his eyes at the last comment.

After his friend disappeared again inside the house, Gavi took a few more minutes to mentally prepare himself to muster the courage to interact with other people. He got up, heading inside the house, greeting some familiar faces, and others he had no idea who were. But despite his efforts, he was bored.

The girl incessantly talking in front of him only heightened his desire to leave, and he was seriously considering running away, especially as every two seconds he saw a phone camera pointed at him. He sighed internally, frustrated. He didn’t want to look like an idiot; his friend would kill him if he mistreated any guest.

His attention on the girl in front of him completely vanish when he noticed someone in the distance.

"This has to be a joke..." he murmured to himself, his eyes focused on the woman quickly running to the stairs. It couldn’t be; his mind was probably playing tricks on him. He blinked a few times, but the person didn’t disappear. He looked at the girl in front of him, who was watching him with confusion, trying to figure out what had caught his attention.

"Excuse me, I need to check something..." Gavi apologized and headed up the stairs.

The upstairs was silent compared to the downstairs. He walked cautiously down the hallway as if a monster could appear at any moment to attack him. And well, technically, it was a monster he was following. The door at the end of the hallway was open, and he could hear the voice coming from inside. He was sure it wasn’t a hallucination; he would recognize that damn voice anywhere—it was imprinted in his mind.

He approached slowly and leaned against the doorframe, seeing the girl on the phone, her voice tearful as she paced back and forth, completely unaware of his presence.

"But I finished everything and left it all ready..." she cried. The sight caught him off guard. Gavi swallowed, embarrassed and regretting following her. He commanded his legs to turn around, but they ignored him, preventing him from moving.

'Great,' he thought.

The girl ended the call, after many tearful agreements, hung up the phone, and threw it on the bed.

"Tough day?" Gavi said before he could even think, mentally chiding himself for drawing the girl’s attention. She turned around startled as she look at him, and Gavi wished she hadn’t, as her red, tear-streaked face caused him some discomfort, an effect he couldn’t understand and decided to ignore. Whatever the reason for her crying, she deserved it. God, if his mom or sister heard him, he’d be in trouble.

"What... Are you following me?" she asked, confusion crossing her face. As if realizing whose presence she was in, she quickly crossed her arms in front of her body and raised her chin in pride. Gavi chuckled; but at the moment no matter how much she tried to appear indifferent, he was seeing right through her.

"In your dreams, querida. You’d be the last person in the world I’d stalk. You’re not that interesting," Gavi retorted, using the same words she had used against him. God, why did every word she said stick in his mind?

"Then leave me alone," she said, irritated. Gavi laughed. What was this? Didn’t she have any words of offense for him? It was somehow disappointing.

She grunted and walked over to the bed, picking up her phone. Her firm steps headed toward the door to leave the room, but he, impulsively, blocked her way. Fury gleamed in the girl's eyes, and she hit the player’s chest, shoving him. The action caught Gavi off guard, and he immediately grabbed her arms, feeling that little shock again from the contact with her skin.

"You can curse and insult me, but you can’t handle it when it’s the other way around?" Gavi grumbled, his face inches from hers. He could see every detail of her face with precision—the bright, swollen eyes, the discreet freckles hidden under a layer of makeup he was sure she didn’t need.

"Oh, did I really hurt you, didn’t I?" And there it was, the challenge in her eyes, the arrogance, and something he couldn’t quite explain, but it shine intensely in the girl's gaze. Unconsciously, Gavi decided he would push her to her limits to see that reaction again. The tension between them was so intense it could be cut with a knife. "Let me go. I could end your career," she snarled, and Gavi couldn’t help but laugh.

"What, are you going to ask your fan friends to ramp up the insults? Nothing I can’t handle. And don’t play innocent; you started this," she narrowed her eyes.

"You have no idea..." she whispered, a victorious little smile appearing at the corner of her lips. Gavi furrowed his brows, confused. But before he could say anything, they were interrupted.

"Florence," someone called from the hallway. Gavi turned, seeing another girl watching the situation in shock. He turned back to the girl in front of him, still holding her arms.

"Florence," he whispered, realizing as if he had just put together a puzzle. He had the voice, the image, and now the name. As if she understood what he was thinking, she rolled her eyes and, with a sudden motion, pulled her arm away and shoved him out of her way. She tossed her hair over her shoulders and confidently walked towards the girl who had called her.

"Are you out of your mind?" He heard the friend whisper, looking over her shoulder at the player observing the sly interaction between the two.

"It’s nothing," the girl said in a nonchalant tone as she pulled her friend down the hallway, disappearing from his view. Gavi stood stunned, still trying to process the encounter and suddenly he couldn't wait for the next el classico.

**********************************************

March 20, 2022

Florence took a deep breath, soaking in the energy of the field, the stadium filling up with fans—God, she missed this so much. Since she started college and studying with her grandfather, her trips to the stadium had been drastically reduced. Now, almost all her time was devoted to her grandfather's office and the administrative sector of Ciudad Real Madrid.

She had almost forgotten the feeling of being inside a stadium. Okay, maybe she was being a bit dramatic, but it felt like years had passed since her last visit. Now, as she could no longer watch the games from the stands with the fans, being on the field with some staff was the closest she could get to the excitement she loved. Even though she had to act professionally now and couldn't shout or curse at the players, especially the rivals, so she would have to do it mentally.

And she had used that trick a lot, since the end of the last year, especially during the games of the club that shall not be named. She cursed and sent all possible negative energy, hoping to satisfy her need to do it personally, particularly regarding a certain player. She even hoped he could hear that she was still rooting against him. Even during the national team games at the end of the year, she had to resort to mental curses, as the moment she cursed the blaugrana player, she received several angry looks from the fans of the national team who had adopted him.

So as soon as she saw him entering the tunnel leading to the field, all her excitement about being back faded, replaced by irritability. And as if he knew exactly that, the moment his eyes fell on her, a mocking smile spread across his face, his eyebrows coming together in surprise and recognition.

"You know, I was sure we’d win today’s game, but now that I see you’re finally here, I’m absolutely certain," he said in a lower tone, so only she could hear.

Florence took a deep breath, trying to contain the ironic response that came to her mind, and fixed her eyes on the tablet in her hand, her fingers gripping the edge tightly.

"Nothing for me?" He insisted, and she finally looked at him, feeling her face heat up and an uncomfortable feeling near her temples, he was definitely a pain in the ass. The player’s eyes scanned her face as if he had noticed her reaction, and the smirk grew.

Florence wanted to shout and curse him, but she had to settle for an eye roll that seemed to amuse the player, who ran onto the field for warm-up. He was lucky she had to behave, or she would have used up all the curses she had been saving.

The match was a disaster for Real Madrid. Florence had to leave her position next to the club reporter on the sidelines as her fan side started to take over during the game, and now she was watching the rest in the tunnel entrance that led from the locker rooms to the field.

And she couldn’t believe it, simply couldn’t. Anger burned inside her, not just from witnessing the defeat and the embarrassing game her team was playing, but because the midfielder’s words burned in her brain. The implication that she was a good luck charm for him gave her a cold shiver and a rage that heated her face. Her mind even searched for the results of the matches she had attended and which were good for him.

The dissatisfaction in the stands grew with each passing minute of the match. Furious, some people were even leaving before the game ended—it was a disaster.

Florence huffed again as she heard the fans near the tunnel cursing each staff member who passed by, as if the blame for the defeat was on them rather than the players on the field. She understood the frustration because she shared many of the same feelings.

However, the comments began to get heavier. Looking up, she saw a group of men cursing her grandfather. She frowned, not understanding why, and they noticed her attention, laughing and commenting among themselves.

The young woman gritted her teeth. She knew the reason well enough without needing to look; she had developed a sixth sense for sensing the player before seeing him. She wondered what sin she had committed in another life to deserve such karma.

"You can’t stay here," she said without looking at him. "This could result in penalties for your club, and well, I’ll make sure that happens," she said with false confidence. Gavi laughed, a deep and genuine laugh that made Florence turn to him, their eyes meeting. She furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes scanning the player’s face, and Florence felt something strange besides irritation at him mocking her.

"I was just getting my shorts from the locker room, and I’m heading back to the bench. There’s no prohibition on that. But fine, i know that you can’t win on the field, so your team need to interfere with the referees and all other means..." he replied, looking around. Florence narrowed her eyes at him.

"That’s a serious accusation..." Florence tried to stay indifferent, turning her attention back to the field. And great, another goal. The stadium roared with boos, not at the blaugrana team but at their own. Florence watched everything, perplexed and a bit nauseous.

"See? I told you that you’d bring us luck today..." Gavi commented right next to her. Florence turned, pushing him away. He laughed. Before she could say anything, she was surprised by a cup being thrown in her direction. Florence looked up at the stands, the group of men from before had an angry look for her.

"You’re fraternizing with the enemy. That’s why we’re losing." Florence decided to ignore it, but the curses only increased.

"You’re losing because you’re awful." Florence widened her eyes at the player who was laughing at the group, and it was done. It was as if he had poked a swarm of bees. Boos, curses, drinks being thrown at them, security started approaching, noticing the escalating anger. She really was determined to ignore the situation, not even fighting with the hand pulling her into the tunnel. But when her grandfather was mentioned, it was the breaking point for her.

"Your grandfather is ruining our club," the fan yelled.

"Florentino made this club what it is,"

Florence shouted back, her blood boiling as she exchanged insults with the Madrid fan who cursed her with every possible name. Security approach to try to calm things down, especially when the fan threatened to jump from the stands. Florence heard the referee’s whistle from afar, and by the time she realized it, chaos had erupted in every corner of the stadium. When a cup hit her head, she felt arms around her waist pulling her away.

She was so immersed in her anger that she felt as if the world around her was spinning out of control. The drink thrown on her clung to her clothes, and the sensation of being completely soaked only added to her frustration. When the sound of the boos became deafening, she finally snapped out of her angry trance.

'shit...' The player’s low murmur brought her back to reality. She wriggled free from his grip and pushed him away with a force that surprised her. A member of Barcelona’s staff approached, pulling the player away. Florence then looked at the TV screen, seeing the final minutes of that disastrous match. Her phone vibrated incessantly, but she had no energy to care. The realization of her actions and their consequences began to weigh on her, and the sense of shame and regret was almost overwhelming.

"What were you thinking?" Her grandfather’s harsh voice sent shivers down her spine. It wasn’t fear—Florence had never feared her grandfather in any way—but the tone he used was that of a businessman, not her grandfather, and honestly, she didn’t feel prepared to face that version of him. "Has everyone lost their minds today?" he shouted, and Florence finally looked at him. "What were you thinking?" he repeated. "You should be setting an example. How can I trust you if when you should be working you’re talking to opposing players and fighting with our own fans?"

"I was defending myself..." Florence questioned.

"You were immature, it’s disappointing..." The older man said, and silence cut through the air. Florence could feel tears in her eyes, and she knew they were there by the quickness with which the older man averted his gaze from her face. "Your father was right. Go home, Florence, you’re done for today."

The younger woman looked at him confused. She didn’t know that the two men talked; they did their best to ignore each other whenever possible. Florence opened her mouth to question him, but the man gave no space, just walking past her with a look of disappointment. Florence watched him head to the locker rooms, but before he left, he stopped and took a good look at Gavi. If he was intimidated by the older man, he didn’t show it; his face remained impassive as he stared back at the man, while the staff member from his team was dying beside him.

Florence’s heart was beating so hard she could hear it in her ears. The look of pity from the communications head was enough to break her. She turned and walked away from the situation before anyone saw her break down.

Florence had a mix of feelings—still angry about her confrontation with the fans but anxious about the disappointed look she received from her grandfather. She understood his side, and she was genuinely dedicated and took her duties seriously, so her own reaction had been a surprise to her as well.

But then realization hit her. The reason she lost her composure in the first place was because of him... She was fine until he showed up and provoked her with his taunts. Just his presence was enough to irritate her, and if he hadn’t provoked her minutes before, she wouldn’t have exploded at the fans... And with perfect timing, Florence felt a tight grip on her arm.

"What the fuck... What’s with you constantly holding me?" Florence asked angrily, turning to face him. The action took him by surprise, but he quickly masked it with a smirking.

"In the end, it was really your club..." He said, referring to their conversation when they met at the event last year.

"As the part of ruining your career, so leave me alone," Florence felt her voice breaking, and this made tears come back to her eyes. She mentally cursed herself for breaking down right in front of the player. "This is your fault," Florence accused, shoving him.

"Mine? You asked for it, remember? Every time you insulted me..." Florence rolled her eyes but couldn’t help a small smile on her lips.

"You’re so affected by this; is it that easy to get into your head?" Florence asked with humor. "If it is, then what they say about you isn’t true..." The player furrowed his brows, and Florence caught a glimpse of confusion on his face.

"Pablo!" The Barcelona staff member called the player, looking furious. "What’s so hard about staying where you’re supposed to be?" The man asked seriously. "Come on, before you get a warning." The player didn’t even question it and just followed the older man, but not before glancing once more at Florence, his expression twisted in confusion.

**********************************************

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I revised it several times, but there's always something that slips through. Ah, I needed to introduce Flo's life as an heiress because it was necessary lol. I'm excited for the next chapter. Idk if you guys understand, but when there are asterisks dividing the chapter, it automatically signifies a passage of time, days, and a change in point of view.

[pedrisbanana]

Maybe a fic about y/n being a footballer for fcb? And her and Pedri share the same number and have a lot in common? ( I’m pretty sure his teammates would tease him and ship them to get him mad (even tho Pedri likes it) btw I love your fics!! 💓

Sometimes destiny likes to watch football...

Enjoy 🍌

The Only Number 8

It all started during the international break. Due to the lack of players staying in Barcelona for the two week break, it was decided that the women's and men's first teams train together. 

You were one of the last to arrive at the training grounds and you immediately joined the small group for their warm up run. Being on friendly terms with most of the players from the first team, you set a pace were you could chat with Ferran Torres and Pablo Torre. 

"Did you steal Pedri's clothes? You look exactly like him, just with better looks." Ferran commented, eyeing your outfit. 

You laughed. "You forgot that I'm a better midfielder as well. It's not my fault were both under contract at Adidas-" 

Ferran gave you a look. "Adidas, Plátano de Canarias, Springfield, let alone the fact that you both wear the number 8"

"You two should make some cute Barcelona babies for the next generation of great midfielders" Pablo teased. 

"Pfft, not all of us want to support nepotism, please and thank you." You scoffed.

The brunette waved your comment about his family off and increased his pace. 

"I don't even know Pedri. The only time I talked to him was that mandatory congratulation ceremony they held for Alexia and Gavi the other day."

Ferran pushed you playfully. "We're just teasing you, okay. Relax." 

After the warm up, Xavi, who lead the training today, announced that you would partner up for exercises, so that both teams could improve by learning from each other. 

He started to read the list and of course he teamed you up with FC Barcelona's starboy. Earning laughter from both Ferran and Pablo, you shook your head. 

Pedri was making his way over to you. His hair was tousled from the slight breeze on this rather windy day. 

The royal blue of his shirt and matching shorts complimented his tan in a way that made it hard not to look at him. You weren't so sure anymore who of you has got the better looks, because Pedri set the bar quite high. 

A small smile crept upon his lips as he was approaching you. He scratched his chin where a shadow of stubble defined his jawline. He must've decided not to shave this morning. 

"Hi, you must be Y/N. I'm Pedri." 

He was slightly taller than you, so he had to tilt his head down a little bit. From the quick movements of his eyes you took that he scanned your face, maybe waiting for your reaction. 

"Es bueno conocerte a la fin" his canary spanish dialect was melodic, soothing almost. He extended his hand. 

His touch burned like fire, making your whole body shiver. Trapping your small hand with a firm grip, his thumb slightly brushed over the skin between your thumb and your index finger, causing you to let go of the breath you didn't realize you held until now. 

"Yes... I mean thank you.. umm you too I guess ?" You couldn't remember the last time you embarrassed yourself like this. You could only hope he didn't notice the effect he had on you, but he would have to be blind not to.

Luckily Xavi interrupted your rather uncomfortable conversation to instruct the first exercise.

- 

It's been a week since you've officially met the real number 8 of Barcelona and a week since you couldn't get him out of your head. The others didn't really help. They'd been teasing you and Pedri whenever they had the chance to, your only satisfaction being the slight blush that also crept upon Pedri's cheeks. 

Every training, Xavi paired you up with Pedri. It turned into some sort of silent competition on who was the better number 8. 

You two didn't talk about it. You weren't friends, just colleagues and you only had 3 days left of the break, then you would never see him again anyway.

Much to your luck, it was announced that there would be a special charity match. The women's team against the men's team and as if it couldn't be much worse, Pedri and you were chosen for the press conference. 

So now you stood here, dressed in lilac nike shorts and the matching shirt (both having a stitched on 8) and waited to be called in. You tightened your high ponytail and tried to look relaxed. 

Why were you even so nervous ?

A pull on your hair startled you. "Ow, what the he-" 

It was Pedri. He moved to stand in front of you, smirking. 

"Can't wait to kick your ass on the field on sunday." 

You scoffed. "Oh, like I kicked yours in training all week ?"

Pedri leaned back against the door to some attic next to the entrance of the media room. He crossed his arms, which made his biceps bulk up. Nike really needs to stop offering these armless tops. 

"I was holding back. You wouldn't be able to keep your balance if I really tackled you."  he eyed you up and down, making you straighten your posture. 

"Pff. We'll see who's the better 8 then." you replied, stepping closer. "I won't be the one on my knees begging for a freekick." 

His smirk widened, looking at your lips, then into your eyes. Your lips parted, mouth dry from the sudden closeness. You could feel his breath on your face, sending shivers down your spine.

"Oh I'll personally make sure that you'll be on your knees." His eyes flickered behind you, obviously annoyed that he was interrupted by the media representative. 

"Pedri. Y/N. We're starting." 

Giving a quick nod to him, you wanted to go ahead, but Pedri stopped you. His hand cupped your cheek. The pads of his fingertips were rough against the soft skin of your face. The touch burned and pleasure shot straight in between your thighs. 

"Begging you'll be too. Not only for a freekick, te lo prometo" 

He followed the media representative into the room. After collecting yourself, you followed as well. Journalists were already seated in rows in front of the large podium. 

Stepping up onto the small stage, Pedri smiled and held out the chair for you. Obviously to trick the journalists into thinking he's a gentleman. You smiled back and thanked him. 

When the media representative gave his small instruction, you tried to calm and crossed your legs. Big mistake. 

The earlier conversation with Pedri had left you more aroused that you expected. Your panties were completely soaked. 

Smiling at the crowd you, leaned forward, trying to concentrate on the first question. A middle aged woman with blonde hair introduced herself and asked Pedri about him missing nations league qualifiers. 

You rolled your eyes. It had been all over the news for the past weeks. The brunette midfielder hadn't been nominated for the national team. What a scandal ! 

As Pedri gave his answer, you felt a burning touch on your knee. 

Pedri. Or better his hand. 

That bastard sneaked his hand up your exposed thigh. He pushed at your leg, making you uncross them. Neither his facial expression or tone changed. 

He nodded to the woman and waited for the next question, all while pushing your legs further apart to make room for his hand. 

He wasn't going to-

His fingers sneaked into your shorts, pushing your panties to the side, interrupting your thought. 

Oh fuck. He was going to. 

He shot you a surprised, but smug look when he felt that you were dripping wet. You caught his wrist, holding it in place to keep him from moving any further. 

The next question was addressed to you. How you felt about playing against the first team. 

"Oh-" you swallowed. It came out as a moan, because Pedri managed to loosen your grip on his wrist and started to explore your slick folds with his long fingers. 

He cleared his throat. A message to you. 

Concentrate or I'll embarrass you in front of everyone.

So he wasn't joking. 

"I think it's a great opportunity to show our abilities-" you paused. 

Pedri's finger found your entrance, slowly pushing in. You clenched around him. 

"-abilities and that women's football can be just as exciting as men's. We hope we can pick up some new fans."

You forced a smile. Pedri added another finger. He pushed them in and out teasingly slow. Your clit was pulsing for friction. 

"Are you okay, Y/N ?" he asked and faked a concerned look on his face, as if he wasn't fingering you under the table. 

He really enjoyed this. 

"I'm just a little-" your breath hitched. 

A third finger. Knuckle deep and curling inside of you. 

"-nervous." 

"No need to be. We're all here to support you and no one wants to make you uncomfortable." 

Every word that came from his mouth pushed your urge to come for his throat. 

You pushed your thighs together to create some friction on your bundle of nerves, but it only made Pedri slide his fingers in deeper. 

Luckily the journalists didn't want to startle you any further and only asked Pedri some questions. He answered them with quick sentences, like the well-behaved professional he was. 

Meanwhile you tried not to moan out loud. He was very skilled with his fingers, twisting and curling them inside of you, spurring you on. If only he wasn't avoiding the spot that needed the most attention. 

You bit your lip before you could whimper out his name. The teasing idiot retracted his fingers and hand from your lap. The digits were glistening from your arousal. You expected him to wipe them on his shirt, but he didn't. 

Instead, his other hand reached for one of the Gatorade bottles on display and opened it just as skilled as you knew he was with his other hand. You were hypnotized by his movements.

What was he up to now ? 

Squeezing the bottle just the right amount, a little bit of liquid spilled, coating the table and the hand that had been inside of you mere seconds ago. He laughed, looking at the crowd. They joined in. 

"I'm sorry." It was a genuine laugh, but you knew this show was for specifically for you. 

Your lips parted as Pedri took each of the three fingers coated in your wetness and lemon - lime Gatorade, one after another, between his lips and sucked them clean. 

You swallowed, not daring to breathe. He stopped at his index finger. 

"Did they change the recipe ? It tastes better than before." he turned to look at you. 

Extending his hand to you, he raised his eyebrow. "Don't you think ?" 

Was he really offering you to suck on his finger right now ? In front of the press ? 

Sure. Everyone knew that the lemon - lime flavor was another similarity between you two. It was the best one. 

You contemplated the choices in your head. If you declined, you'd turn tables and embarrass him. If you didn't, you and Pedri would be all over the news tomorrow. 

Smiling to yourself, you grabbed his wrist and brought his hand up to your lips. Locking eyes with him, you guided his index finger into your mouth. Just the tip. You didn't want to give a whole show, being in public after all. 

Your tongue darted out to lick your lips, letting go of him. The sour taste mixed with the sweetness of your own arousal spread on your tastebuds. 

"You're right. It's better now." 

Pedri flushed, making you smile in victory. 

The media representative closed the press conference and stood up to lead the two of you out the room. As the midfielder stood up, your smile dropped. 

He was so hard in his sweatpants, it looked painful. 

His dark blue Nike tech fleece pants were showing a very prominent bulge, but with a confidence like he had, he of course didn't seem to care and stood up. 

Pedri waited for you to go ahead and you urgently prayed that there wasn't a dark spot on your lilac shorts. 

No one seemed to notice the little action that happened between you and him. 

Feeling relieved that you survived it, Pedri suddenly pushed you into the little attic next to the media room with him. 

His lips captured yours into a feverish kiss, leaving you breathless. Once again, his hands found the spot between your thighs, this time pushing your shorts and underwear down first, baring you to him. 

You moaned his name into the kiss and he broke it. Lips wandering from your cheek to your neck, he pulled you closer. His erection pressed against your thigh and you cupped it, making him hiss. 

Pulling away, he helped you undress him, sweatpants and briefs falling to his ankles. His dick was swollen and the tip red. Precum leaked and you caught a drop, spreading it with your thumb, massaging him. 

He dropped his forehead to yours. His pupils were blown wide and he looked helpless from pleasure. Neither of you talked. You didn't need words. Maybe you were linked by faith or something after all. 

Holding onto your hips, he thrust forward. Slowly, guided him inside of you. His length was stretching you even more than his fingers. He felt heavenly. You dropped your head back inviting his lips to explore your throat. 

His thrusts were needy and sloppy, but they massaged just the right spot inside of you over and over again. With your hands tangling in his hair, you tried to meet him.

Your heart was thumping in your ears as he pushed your shirt up, exposing your cleavage. His hands were definitely going to leave bruises on your hips when they wandered down again. His thumb found your clit and you screamed out. 

The whole teasing had you sensitive and aching for touch. You felt him whisper some Spanish against your breasts in between kisses, but you couldn't hear him. 

You held onto him even tighter when you felt your orgasm building up. Only a few more thrusts and he had you over the edge. He looked up at you and stopped his actions, earning a disappointed whimper from you. 

"If you want to come, beg me." The same smug expression from earlier crept upon his flushed, sweaty, beautiful face. You wanted to slap him. 

"Pedri-" you tried to move your hips. 

His lips were kissing your chin and jawline. "I'll pull out." 

He started to withdraw, which made you pull at his shirt. 

"No, please. Pedri. Make me come. Please." you whispered into the thick air. 

You looked at him. He stopped, waiting. 

"Please Pedri. I need you. I need you so badly. I need you to make me come. Please." The pleas came out of your mouth almost automatically and didn't stop when he picked up his thrusts again.

Your whole body was shaking and the blood rushed in your ears. All you could think was Pedri. 

Pedri. Pedri. Pedri. 

He pressed his face into your chest when he followed. His moans muffled by the soft flesh. 

Being out of breath you held each other for a few seconds, enjoying the bliss. 

Pedri pulled up your panties and shorts again, kissing your inner thigh softly. 

"I'm still going to make you beg for that freekick, princesa"

A/N: I know y'all love when Pedri's acting like an asshole😌

This was really hard to write as a one part, so I hope it doesn't feel rushed.

I'm excited for your feedback 🥰

[pablitogavii]

heyy! i loove your writing style. could you maybe write a smut where gavi is very veeeryy dominant i’m dying for that pls 😭🙏🏼

You were currently scrolling through your phone bored out of your mind while your boyfriend was "busy"playing FIFA online with some of his friends.

"Amor.." you move your foot over his crotch hoping to signal that you were in a particular mood tonight...I mean he did satisfy your craving only one day ago but you couldn't help it when he looked so hot all the freaking time!

"Shh princesa, I'm playing" he moved his headset only to tell you that before putting it back on and laughing about something one of the guys said. You groaned rolling your eyes and retrieving your foot from his lap.

Send to: bestie<3

you: I'm going to start hating football!

bestie<3: Pablo not giving you attention??

you: yes!!! It's annoying! And he keeps licking his lips girl..fuck!!

bestie<3: just make him pay attention to you ;)

you: how?? his eyes are glued to the stupid screen!

bestie<3: I'm sure he will pay attention the moment you start talking about some other dude?? ;))

That gave you a great idea since Pablo did show quite the jealousy about Ansu in the past few days when you came to watch some of his trainings at the camp.

You put your phone away moving behind Gavi and tapping his bicep which btw was flexed and absolutely delicious looking..fuck this better work!

"Que?" he said moving his headset once more pausing his game and muting his mike.

"Sorry! Just one question, amor. Ansu scored more goals than you this season right??" you said pretending to be serious feeling his bicep flex under your hand the moment you mentioned his friends name.

"He only has two more goals and it's still not the end of the season! Why do you care about goals he scores anyways!?" Pablo was defensive right away and you liked seeing him riled up like this...it was such a turn on!

"I bet he scores more "goals" somewhere else too..." you poked the right spot while messing with an old Barça t-shirt Pablo was wearing while he stared at you in disbelief.

"What did you just say to me princesa!?" Pablo's voice got deeper whenever his dominant side surfaced and you loved every second of it feeling your panties dampen under deep vibrations.

"Nothing...keep playing your game. I'll go to sleep" you say smiling to yourself victoriously but as you tried to get up his rough hands grabbed your hips tightly pulling you back and making you land on top of his lap.

"You are gonna regret doubting your papi princesa..." his hands squeezed around your ass cheeks tightly enough to make it painful and you winced now helplessly turned on ready to take your punishment if it meant he will stop playing that stupid game and play with you instead!

"Really papi??" you teased which was a big mistake after getting him riled up regretting it the moment he spanked you hard leaving a red mark on your cheek.

"I'm gonna score so many "goals" tonight that you won't be able to walk for weeks!" he growled tossing you on the bed before getting on top of you and starting to kiss down your body tearing off any remaining pieces of clothing.

"Papi..please" you moaned and he spanked you once more making you wince and whine in desperation..he was driving you crazy and he knew it.

"Shut your disrespecting mouth princesa! I treat you so well every night...and you dare say Ansu is a better than me!? You dare tell me he can fuck you better than I can!? Well, I have news for you princesa..nobody will ever fuck you like me and I think you know that...that's why you are such a slut for my cock, aren't you?" he was biting marks into my sensitive skin as a way of marking his territory and you enjoyed every second of it.

"I asked you a fucking question!" he opened your legs presenting you to him and you whined as the cold air hit your sensitive core.

"Yes...I'm a slut for your cock papi..only your cock" you pouted hoping he will have some mercy but he was nowhere near forgetting the poisonous words that left your mouth.

"Prove it..." Pablo stood up looking down at his hard member and you took a hint getting on your knees in front of him and staring to lick his tip like a starved kitten.

"Enough teasing! Unless you never want this punishment to end!" Pablo grabbed your hair pushing more of his cock into your mouth as you started to suck him off still unable to fit all of him into your mouth.

Your hand massaged his balls while he threw his head back rutting more into your mouth feeling himself getting on the verge of his orgasm.

"Stop! I don't want to cum yet...not until I'm inside of your princesa" he said pulling your head back and making you remove your lips from his cock and look up at him patient for next instruction.

You loved the way he dominated you but still made you feel special at the same time. He helped you up wiping some saliva from your lips before kissing them passionately and making you fall back down onto the bed.

"Try saying Ansu is better than me now!" his hand was wrapped around your throat while he got so deep inside of you that your mind went blank.

"I can't hear you princesa....who is better than me??" he released your neck a little letting you breathe while still pounding roughly into your pussy with no mercy.

"N..nobody is better...ahh. than you..papi" you menage to speak in a broken language seeing his smirk grow as you stroked his ego with those words.

"That's right! Nobody is better than me on that pitch! And certainly nobody is better than me at fucking your tight little pussy..fuck you clench around me so perfectly princesa!" Pablo groaned kissing your lips feeling your high approaching as your thighs shook violently from over stimulation.

"Please..please papi..give it to me..fill me up good" you begged feeling his cock twitching inside of you as Pablo arrived at his own orgasm rutting in and out of you furiously.

"Fuck princesa! Tu eres perfecta para mi" he groaned into your neck while still buried deep inside of you and you moaned when he started moving again.

"I told you I will score so many goals tonight.." he smirked twisting you around and sitting up with you straddled in his lap and his cock buried inside of you.

"Be a good princesa and ride my cock baby" he smirked and you obeyed moving your hips as he hit all the right spots making another wave of pleasure spread through your body.

"Is this why you were mala princesa? HUh? You wanted my attention?" he smirked starting to pound into you once more and you threw your head back from how good this new angle was making you feel and he smirked.

"YES! Ahh yes..please don't stop!" you begged feeling him only speed up as another orgasm washed over you leaving you sweaty, exhausted and happy holding onto Pablo's shoulder's for dear life.

He laid you down and you were breathing heavily seeing stars form how intense the last orgasm was but Pablo was far from done..he was determined to prove himself to you tonight.

His lips attached to your overly sensitive core and you whined grabbing his hair while he was eating you like a starved man his first meal.

"P..P..Pablo.ahh..too..too much..ahh I can't..uhh" you felt your thighs shaking afraid of completely losing control but Pablo reassured you were in safe hands and you completely trusted him.

"Tell me..who is the best player in Barça?" he spoke into your pussy sending vibrations that felt better than any orgasm you ever had.

"Pablo Gavi...ahh" you said and he added more tongue sending your mind into overdrive as your back arched while he kept your hips glued to the bed torturing you.

"Who scores the most goals?" he asked rubbing his chin on your clit and your eyes were tearful now from how badly you needed to come and form his merciless teasing.

"Pablo Gavi!" you screamed in frustration and he smirked continuing to eat you out and just as you orgasm was about to come he asked one last question.

"Who is the only man who can fuck you this good!?" he said

"PABLO GAVI!" you screamed and the moment his lips met with your folds again orgasm washed over your as you squirted and he licked you clean proud of his achievement.

"Next time better watch your mouth or I will make sure you don't get this cock for a whole week" he warned and you pouted feeling almost drunk on ecstasy so the only thing you could do is nod while he put his t-shirt over your body and tucked you underneath the blankets.

"Sorry boys, my princesa was misbehaving.." he said before continuing to play his game...little devil ;))

[ntdiwtz]

I work at the local children's hospital, I went to pediatric school and since then I've been doing what I love most in the world!

Today would be a great day for everyone present here, due to a partnership with Barcelona some of the team's players will come to spend the day with the children. Which will be great, after all, many here are discouraged and crestfallen.

Now I was with George, an amazing little boy who was suffering from leukemia, but to everyone's delight, his treatment was progressing more and more.

I was talking calmly with the child until he heard the door open and a huge smile formed on the little girl's lips.

"OH MY GOD GAVI AND ANSU ARE HERE!" he screamed hysterically.

I just smiled seeing her happiness and walked away giving them privacy to talk.

On the outside he was calm, but on the inside he was freaking out to an absurd degree! Don't get me wrong, but I've been a fan of the team for as long as I can remember!

"Did you know Y/N supports you too?" Tell them! - I froze when I heard George mention my name, but I froze even more when the two players stared at me. Instantly I feel my cheeks burn, great I'm a bell pepper now!

“Well, it's true, but today the focus is on you, not me! Anyway, I have to go see Jade. - I say heading to the door and leaving the room.

"Hope to bump into you later!" - Pablo said giving me a cute smile.

————————————��———————————————

I particularly liked this one! Please remember to like and feel free to do your orders!

And I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Life Update:

I have been away for a BIT but a lot has happened since then. Aside from some crazy energy shifts (some early spooky spirit-level vibes coming from Pluto coming out of Retrograde on the 3rd) having wild vivid dreams and bizarre experiences, there's some that took the cake and also I needed some time to just be quiet and spend my little free time not chatting to anyone or being online.

Anyway a story I wanted to share is the on going saga with that rich man who spent his years saving and conserving a rain forest in Tanzania. We met on Autumn's Eve to discuss his project he was trying to raise money for. He is going through a lot right now cause it's his second Saturn return and this huge farm he owns in Tanzania that he made a shit ton of money from is falling apart due to climate change and corruption. It turns out this man has dabbled in/has interest in the occult (as all bored white rich people do) and was interested in my craft. He's an American born and raised in Louisiana that moved to NYC for a while to write for a magazine, had some wild experiences with a vodou church there and moved to England when he got married but now has been divorced for like 17 years and is still not over it. Anyway I felt comfortable opening up about my practice and that evening anyway I was going to go to a friend's house to do some autumn eve magic and had some stuff in my bag. So he asked for a tarot reading for insight in his future and we like hang out in Hyde park which is GORGEOUS in fall colors right now and I do a reading for him. This is the beginning of a very long story so if you are interested in reading another episode in my hot mess ass life, get a nice cup of tea and click the read more lol. 

Essentially we can summarize his current life as his job is going through a tower card phase due to saturn return shaking up all that foundations are weak or no longer serving him. He's supposed to resurrect the rainforest conservation project and he already knows this answer deep down inside. I am like cool that's great we connected cause I have been making a lot of friends recently that are getting involved in forest conservation or are buying land to grow forests on with native trees so its cool we created this friendship.  Nice. Now he wants a love reading which I just feel reluctant to do. I already had that feeling you know when someone wants a love reading when they really shouldn't be focusing on that? Its fine though cause Tarot is honest as hell and validates my feelings. He essentially wants someone to distract his current troubles and saturn return lessons to get whisked away in a romance and dump his issues on from the failure of the farm and his divorce of 17 years he's still not over. 

He's still unsatisfied so to placate him I do a lenormand reading of what type of lover could suit him now in his troubling time. Lenormand just shows someone that is ambitious and working in the same field but also a side kick. Cool so you want a cheerleader to support you when you are down that’s nice don't we all. He then says the reading is vague and doesn't everyone want that? And I am like no not at all like for example, I currently don't want any relationship I want to work on myself but if I were to have an ideal relationship I'd love it to be with someone who is a home maker, someone who is emotionally available, who's love language is like smothering me physically with affection, definitely not someone who fucks off for two weeks to months at a time to the other side of the hemisphere, but anyway it’s all hypothetical so it doesn't matter. Anyway with his lack of satisfaction I am like, look sir, next week is the Libra new moon, it's a great time to ask to find a partner that will be a great match in this trying time.

I completely forget that I gave him this information. We smoke a blunt he was keeping in his nifty dressy blazer inner pocket and I go off to see my good Aries witch friend and have an INSANE NIGHT where we nearly BURNT down her fucking apartment in an episode of  ✧ *:・ﾟFire Magic Gone Wrong *:・ﾟ✧. 

I was trying to make some candles for autumn's eve with carved green apples and when I melted the wax we didn't realize how powerful her oven was. Plus my stupid lazy ass left the wick in there. So when we tried to open the oven cause we were smelling the intense smoke, a fucking PLUME of dark smoke would come out BURNING THE SHIT out of our eyes and choke the shit out of us. We tried to open the windows and vents, I tried to quickly pull it out and some wax splashed out and burned the shit out of my leg and arm and I have little burn mark scars now, but with the wick in there with that heat it IGNITED there was a burst of flames coming out, My friend was NOT HAVING IT like imagine an Aries hollerin and a Fire Ablazin and the fire alarm is louder than a fucking rave EDM beat like I was trying to think as clear as possible and see if she had a fire extinguisher she was like: BITCH DO I LOOK LIKE A RESTAURANT TO YOU and so I call the emergency line to get the fire department while she fucking, just, gets a massive fucking cauldron of water and dumps it in the oven and wax is oil so you know what happens when you throw water on flaming oil it fucking EXPLODES so she's like fucking James Bond slow motion running away from a ball of Fire and fortunately the fire is out cause it gets smothered by smoke and water 

...so I am like: Oh thank you mr. police sir but the fire is gone no need to come, but as my friend is still HOLLERIN in full panic mode in the background and the police on the phone still hear her Panic and is like: Uh no we are still coming.. 

Its a bit comical and surreal at this point cause I try to calm my friend down with some water as I air out the apartment and she goes from Hollerin to   q u i e t   real quick when she hears all these LOUD ass sirens. She's like.. Alex.. What are we gonna tell the police when they arrive?? I am like damn bitch why you acting like we did something contraband like its just an oven fire we extinguished it. But she was having that Black Moment of Fear™ like we were two hot mess black witches gonna have the police up in her apartment due to some dumb ass witchcraft gone wrong like I was still trying to be calm but she was like whispering my name like Aleeexx those sirens, they are coming for us!! And I was like oh my god you are panicking they are probably just police cars for something else we are in London shit happens here all the time. 

Anyway the loud sirens just STOP in front of the building and she's like: a l e x... All of a sudden we hear a Bing! And its the fire department outside. We see the windows in the hallway outdoors and this MASSIVE ASS FIRE TRUCK THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING'S WIDTH is just parked there y'all.. The neighbor across the hallway opens her door to see what the fuck is going on and she was not pleased. Since her windows face the street her whole living room looked like a rave disco with red and blue flashing lights she was like what the fuck were you dumbasses doing and my friend is like ohh my god.. 

So next thing we knew there were 5 Fully geared firemen in the apartment and like.. Miraculously with the power of all that is good in the world there is like no sign that there was ever anything that happened?! So the firemen of course were wanting some explanations. Of course they can smell a little bit of smoke but I am like: Oh yeah sorry it was a grease fire gone wrong it was the first time we used this oven but we managed to squash it, it was just overwhelming and we wanted you guys over just in case it escalated. So one fireman is like snooping around for some further answers like: haha cooking sausages usually kicks up a lot of grease, what were you cooking? And my friend who is guilty as hell is like: its just oil but so sorry wejustletitburnintheovensosorryitwasjust and I am like taking the conversation by the horns like: We were trying a recipe to bake the apples over there (yes the ones still hollowed out on the kitchen counter,) but it went wrong. Anyway the firemen noted that there was like no damage ("don't even mention it to your land lord! Haha!" one says) and they just install two fire alarms for free and leave. So me and my friend who are Shaken from this Drama especially when after the firemen left there was no trace of like anything even happening and this all escalated and deescalated in less than an hour so we just scrap any magic we had planned that night and watch The Craft instead. Autumn’s Eve completed..

Ok so I have a blissful and amazing Mabon then a few days pass and I am back at work with the shenanigans of the weekend out of my mind and I get a text from the old rich guy again. He wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday and chat some more about the forest conservation project. I am a bit annoyed as it's Libra new moon but maybe I could balance dinner with him and go home and do some spells (balance, see what I did there? lol.) So I say yes, it's Libra new moon afterall and maybe its nice to make a new friendship revolving around helping the planet.

 He's texting me like: Do you like Oysters? And I am like.. that's so random why Oysters? And he goes on about how he's from Louisiana and he gets homesick so he likes eating them I am like ok I guess.. But he's also like: let me get some Gavi (white wine) and I am starting to get that feeling of unease but I am like: I got to work early the next day so I am not going to drink. He's like ok fine. 

I mention it to some of my coworkers and they are teasing me about how this old man wants to 'play in my rainforest' and it makes me want to gag. Like I am hoping that its a case of me misjudging some man like surely this is a sensible old man that is lonely and just is happy to find a friend that cares about the earth and his project? Anyway Sunday night comes and I am on my way to his house. He lives in some gorgeous townhouse off a main street. The stairwell spirals up the 3 floors of the house with exotic trees growing in between the landings and reaching up through the center of the spiral stairs. There are pictures of artwork he's collected as well as some chameleon named after him in the rain forest in Tanzania as a thankyou to his conservation efforts. I get to the second landing before his kitchen and I hear to my DREAD some fucking jazz music. Oh hell no. I immediately am like: I need to use your toilet. So I go to his immensely large bathroom which also has little trees growing in there in between the large sink and deep teal painted clawed foot tub. I am texting my Aries witch friend cause she lives around the corner like: GURL GET ME THE FUCK!! OUT OF HERE!! and she's like: Oh no baby you's in danger, let me know if you need help. So I gather my strength like: Ok he can't be this delusional especially after the Talk and the Tarot on his lovelife and the fact that he's old enough to be my dad, so let me keep the convo friendly and hopefully this will be a big misunderstanding.

I mean by now you know my fool meter is immensely high, but anwyay I go into his kitchen and I ask him boldly what's the occasion for this dinner? So he skirts the question by saying how he designed his home after stuff in Louisiana that he misses blahblah and stuff from the rainforest I am like: Cool, whats the occasion for this dinner? And he's like: You know, celebrating friendship, you want wine? I don't want wine cause I told him I need to go home early I have to work, and he mentions the spare bedroom on the top floor. I tell him I'm uninterested in staying over even though yes it's conveniently 10 minutes walk from my job but I have house plants to take care of (yeah I use that house plants excuse I don't give a fuck! lol).  Anyway he steers the conversation to the fresh oysters he just shucked. So we are eating oysters, I try not to put any energy on the nature of him eating his oysters and I direct the conversation to how he came about conserving the rainforest, his networking skills and how he raised money to buy that much land and plant millions of trees. I end up gleaning a lot of helpful and not so much helpful info (I mean, it just helps if you are a wealthy well connected white man lmao), and we even talk about other interesting stuff like I get him to talk about how the stock market works, his daily routine at the members club I work at, William Kamkwamba who built the windmill in Malawi from some inspo from library books (his ex brother in law made a film about it which he suggested I stay over to watch with him, which I declined cause of my house plants I needed to get back to at home), his divorce he can't stop talking about cause he's not truly over it. Anyway dinner is nice, we eat some very unseasoned gumbo he made that reminds him of his childhood and throughout the dinner I am doing shielding energy exercises and channeling the power of Saturn to re-affirm my boundaries and practice the glorious power of "No". So with Saturn's channeled influence I am ready to put an end to the night and I am like: thanks for everything I think I'll go now, but before I go should I help with the dishes? He says no cause: It's a one-man show. I ask him to Elaborate, and instead he offers me to get some chocolate so I am like.. ok... 

Anyway he is standing at the other side of his kitchen so I get up to get some and he turns around to embrace me, and y'all... it's a LONG and UNCOMFORTABLE hug complete with 1. back rubbing, 2. neck sniffing, 3. aura invading, so I pull away to ask about what chocolate it is and it's dark chocolate oh god. Anyway this is actually the beginning of the climax of the tension of the night to my foolish self cause this man who is unwillingly ignoring my discomfort has the fucking audacity to ask the question: Do you like dancing? I literally answer him with the same boldness that he asked that question: I hate dancing and never danced in my life. lol. He wasn't taking No for an answer so he decided to be like: Let me show you music I like to dance to. So he puts on some old 70s-esque rock and starts dancing alone in his living room like: Dance with me! I am like No. He says something like: I love dancing it helps to open you up. We all just got to get over our embarrassment and let loose! I am like: Ok I gotta let loose in your toilet again be right back.

So I hide in his bathroom again texting my witch friend like: S.O.S. BITCH let me come over to your apartment and she's like: Oh sorry I am in a party in north London .............. 😭

So I go out to face the mess and he's now trying to get another song I could potentially relate to so he's like: Let me play this song my 13 year old picked out for me.. Great..  Next thing my Ears are hearing is: Mr. Brightside by the Killers and I am dying y'all.. I am over it.. He is taking my laughter as an invitation to get me to dance but now with the full power of Saturn I was like: No. I am going home, I don't feel well, I have been having some kidney issues ("Oh is that why you were always in the bathroom?"- "Yeah that's.. why.. definitely..") and I gotta get up early. So he looks sad. I am like it's ok, we can hang out in the day time, outside of your home next time and talk more about the rainforest conservation. He's like, ok but before you go we have to do this? I am like: Do what?

NEXT THING I KNOW TO MY HORROR I SEE HIM LEAN IN, TAKE MY SIDES AND TRY TO KISS ME AND I AM LIKE: 

NO!!

I Push him away, and FLY down his 3 flights of stairs, spiraling down his house, and he's chasing me like fucking No-Face chasing Chihiro saying: I WASN'T GOING TO PUT MY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH!! The fact that he said that I could feel my fucking bootyhole clench with dismay. I was mortified. I grabbed my shoes and was like.. see you around I guess (He is a regular at my job lol), and I fly down the street. 

When I get home he texts me if I have a moment for a chat so I am like ok fine why not? He fucking VIDEO CALLS ME and on top of it is eating something fucking nasty and I have misophonia so I am fucking disgusted and I turn off my video (I mean its like modern millenial tech etiquette but video calls are pretty intimate or you have to prepare for them, just springing up a video chat is a bit violating?) and he's like: Oh should I turn off my video too? I don't answer.. so he does..

So he calls to essentially apologize. He admits that I at MANY TIMES have expressed that I was not interested in any relationship other than friendship and that he just wanted a friendly kiss on the mouth and it wasn't supposed to be sexual. Ok... He also says that he doesn't understand why we can't be intimate and be friends.. With my DEAD SILENCE he then fills it like: Ok yeah that's true there is a massive age gap and different comforts with intimacy.. He then admits he has a sexual attraction to me and it would be dishonest to say otherwise but we should still be friends.. I am like: I wouldn't mind being friends but I can't trust someone who doesn't respect my boundaries like I have boundaries. We end with him saying: I understand, you have your boundaries then.. Lol.

Anyway as a blessing I haven't seen him since..

It took me like a full several days later after seeing another witchy friend who asked me about my new moon libra rituals I realized I didn't get to HAVE ANY cause he fucking Eclipsed my night with his bullshittery, that it was actually my fault as I gave him an idea to use that evening to try to find a partner when I did his tarot reading on Autumn Eve but instead he was trying to use all kinds of tricks of seduction for me to be his unwilling cheerleader. Goes to show that a man can spend years of his life planting 16.7 million trees and still be trash lol.

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Other than those recent drama episodes not much has happened to me other than some resurfaced trauma and closure from years ago in college that ended a chapter in my life for me once Pluto came out of retrograde. Other mildly exciting news, I also worked my Alchemist friend's bar yesterday on Sunday for a Fungi Fest in Hoxton. (Look up her work she's Mama Xanadu she does cool shit.) She made non-alcoholic cocktails potions with spirits based with roots and herbs like damiana, maca, passion flower etc that makes you feel energized but also mellow (three spirit is one of the partners that work with her their stuff is kind of nice though you do feel like you're drinking some type of brew) and her brews were made from different mushroom infusions like one was a delicious turkeytail brew made with hibiscus and douglas fir and another was with kombucha and seabuckthorn juice and one with a mushroom named amethyst deceiver and hops. She also makes her own essences and made some mushroom essences (like flower essences but with the vibrational influence of mushrooms) to add in there. I met some interesting and Strange people like you do at any alternative spiritualish wholesome event. I met a beautiful boy who is sadly in a relationship that we vibed very hard to the unfortunate dismay of his disgruntled girlfriend and I met a couple from poland who looked like a lost boys vampire couple (one was dressed in a black iridescent latex trenchcoat with one long earring with playing cards attached to it with long hair and his girlfriend had like layers of black scarves and coat like some mori grunge style with a black bowl hat on) who were trying to convince me how MDMA is the same as medicinal mushrooms and that it's its own type of spiritual ritual now. (I was like, sure Jäan..). Now that I have had a moment to like rest and reflect, and accept that I can't save some of my house plants and my life's direction still seems so uncertain and Hot Mess I am like ready to focus on my craft again and interact with my blog lol.

Anyway if you read until the end wow, thanks so much. I hope you had a great new moon.

[crohnsdigest]

Self-Distancing Vital Tactic in Coronavirus Fight

March 16, 2020 -- Whenever people gather, there are opportunities to spread germs. From one recent corporate conference in Boston, where 175 people gathered, for instance, the new coronavirus spread to more than 100 people. Although not every gathering will be so contagious, it’s impossible to know ahead of time who is going to be coughing or sneezing and remember: You don’t have to have symptoms to be infected and contagious. That’s why the Trump administration on March 16 asked everyone to avoid gatherings of 10 or more for the next 15 days, including restaurants and bars and food courts, along with discretionary travel. It's why more states are taking the extra step to close restaurants and bars. It’s why schools and universities are closing and why people are working from home. They want us to stay apart -- “self-distancing” in their lingo. If we don’t get within 6 feet of another person, or at least lessen the number of people we let into this 6-foot zone, we will cut our chances of getting sick, says Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, a professor of medicine and director of the Division of Infectious Diseases at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. “At this point, we’ve got nothing else, which is why people are willing to jump on board,” she says. It’s hard to make life-altering decisions based on what may seem like a theoretical threat to those who apparently aren’t infected. “I and many other Italians just didn’t see the need to change our routines for a threat we could not see,” Italian journalist Mattia Ferraresi wrote in a Boston Globe op-ed published over the weekend, headlined: “A coronavirus cautionary tale from Italy: Don’t do what we did.” Now, the entire nation is on lockdown. “In the end,” Ferraresi wrote, “each of us is giving up our individual freedom in order to protect everybody, especially the sick and the elderly.” That’s the best approach right now, echoes Michael Mina, an assistant professor of epidemiology at Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health. “It seems like in the U.S., people are really starting to take this seriously and we are starting to see cities empty out,” he says. “I can only hope that this is going to be beneficial to reduce the peak of the curve of this epidemic and slow it down.” Unfortunately, there is no specific treatment for COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus, and no vaccine to protect against it, though researchers all over the world are rushing to develop both. Treatments are likely to come first, with one already being tested; vaccines could take several years to be approved and then made on a large enough scale to make a difference. For people who think “I’m going to get it anyway, so why to bother” -- yes, it’s possible that 40%-70% of the public may ultimately get COVID-19, says Seth Berkley, CEO of Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance, a nonprofit that supports the use of new and underused vaccines for low-income countries and outbreaks. But if it’s unrestrained in the community, “then, it’s a numbers game,” he says. Several Chinese doctors died, despite being in their late 20s and early 30s. “If enough people get it, there will certainly be deaths” among them, he says.

Tips and tricks aplenty

So, what does it mean to socially distance yourself? Here are some guidelines from Marrazzo, Mina, and the CDC: Stay at least 6 feet away from other people, if possible.Avoid sports arenas, theaters, museums, and other places where you are likely to come into contact with large numbers of people. The Trump administration on March 16 asked all Americans to avoid gatherings of more than 10 people for the next 15 days. Avoid restaurants or bars. Mina, who ordered takeout over the weekend, says that’s a better way to go. Many states are already ordering bars and restaurants to close, except for takeout and delivery.It may also be a good idea to stay away from hairdressers, barbers, and nail salons, for instance, because these folks have to get closer than 6 feet. Massages may be great for easing stress, but you might consider finding another path right now.Skip playdates, parties, sleepovers, or families visiting each other's houses. Do not visit nursing homes, rehab centers, or assisted living facilities, as older people are at the highest risk for complications and death from coronavirus. Find virtual ways, such as FaceTime or Skype video visits, to lessen the social isolation of people in these kinds of facilities.Riding mass transit is a major challenge because it’s hard to stay 6 feet from other straphangers. Having fewer people go to work will help cut the risk for those who don’t have an alternative.WebMD Countdown: Dirtiest Things You Touch Every DayPlayCurrent Time0:003:05MuteFullscreenProgress: 0% WebMD Countdown: Dirtiest Things You Touch Every Day Arm yourself with some soap and hand sanitizer, cause it’s a dirty world out there! These surfaces are just crawling with germs that can make you sick.ABOUTWash your hands frequently and longer than you usually do. The recommended length of time for handwashing is 20 seconds, or about as long as it takes to sing “Happy Birthday to You” through twice. Soap and water are just as good if not better than hand sanitizers. But hand sanitizers are OK to use if you can’t get to soap and running water.The virus can remain alive for up to 3 days on hard surfaces, meaning if you touch a metal doorknob that someone with the virus has recently touched, you could pick up the virus. (But the CDC does not consider this to be a major way the virus spreads.)Touch your faceless, especially your eyes and mouth.Don’t wear a mask unless you are sick yourself. Every available mask may soon be needed by health care workers, and masks haven’t been shown to prevent healthy people in the general public from falling ill.It’s important to stay healthy, so don’t forget to get enough sleep, and ease stress by exercising, talking with friends and family, and practicing your hobbies, if possible.Walks outside and hikes can be a good way to get exercise without coming into close contact with others.If you must go to the gym, wipe down equipment before and after use, but Mina thinks exercising outdoors is a much better idea, as people might emit more virus particles when they are breathing heavily.Keep going to the grocery store and drugstore as needed, but postpone other nonessential shopping trips.Purchase a 1- to a 3-month supply of prescription medications, if possible.Monitor information about COVID-19 in your community.Know the signs and symptoms of COVID-19, such as fever, coughing, and body aches. (It’s spring allergy season in some parts of the country, with trees budding, so stuffy noses maybe allergies.)If you think you may have COVID-19, call ahead before going to your doctor’s office or an emergency room to avoid spreading germs to others.

Be ready to hunker down a while

If you are sick or have likely been exposed to the virus, you should take even more extreme measures, staying at home and sending others to the store and on other crucial errands on your behalf. If you live with others, you should try to isolate yourself as much as you can, staying alone in a bedroom and using a dedicated bathroom, if possible. Obviously, frequent hand-washing becomes even more important for everyone in this situation. People over 65, those with reduced immunity -- because of cancer treatment, other medications, or medical conditions that weaken the immune system -- and people in contact with either of these groups need to be particularly careful. “I realize that not everyone can do everything,” Asaf Bitton, MD, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, wrote on Medium. “But we have to try our absolute best as a community, starting today. It is a public health imperative. If we don't do this now voluntarily, it will become necessary later involuntarily, when the potential benefits will be much less than doing so right now.” How long will we need to keep this up? Projections suggest that the U.S. is less than 2 weeks behind Italy in terms of the growth of our COVID-19 caseload. No one can predict how quickly the danger will pass. In China, at the epicenter of the outbreak, where the virus raged out of control for weeks, the government shut down all public life and enforced quarantines beginning almost 2 months ago, and they haven’t let everyone out yet. President Donald Trump said at a White House news conference that experts have told him the outbreak could last until July or August. That doesn't necessarily mean we'll be in self-quarantine for that long. Trump said they will evaluate whether the social distancing measures need to be extended beyond 15 days at that time. click here to read more on crohnsdigestnews Read the full article

[ayeletgalena]

Bris Speech for Gabriel Solomon (Gavi) Galena

“Angels All Around” - Lincoln Square Synagogue 5/30/19 

--

So I was walking to shul this morning and I saw a watch store – with a big watch in the window. I walked in thinking I could get my watch fixed before the bris. The man behind the desk said, “Sorry sir, this is a mohel office – I’m a mohel, my father, my grandfather... in short, we’re all mohels.”  

“So you can't fix my watch?” The mohel responds abruptly “No”. 

So I ask while leaving, “So why then is there a big watch in the window if this is a mohel office?”

He responds, “And what exactly would you like us to put in the window....?”

Ha, I mean how many times do you get to do a Mohel Joke? I heard Seth Rogen got his start writing mohel jokes.....

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So anyways, thank you Rabbis, friends & family for being here to welcome our little malach (malach means angel) Dovid Gavriel...

spoiler alert: We’re calling him Gavi…. I like the alliteration in a newscaster voice: “I’m Gavi Galena, The 10 O’Clock News” 

….A special thank you from myself and Hindy to the grandparents: Rabbi Reuben Poupko & Mindy, Bobby & Arna Fisher, and my mom Rita Lourie Galena for everything we know you do ...and even more for what we don’t know. It’s so special to have the blessing of grandparents on this special day as our Gavi joins the tribe.

Also to our siblings here and not here: Adina, Sarah, Benj, Isaac and Yael, Avi/Shifra, Tamar/Elliot, Ezy/Chany and Jen/David, Ari/Elyssa and Amy & Ben Fisher, Ben actually here from Chicago, thank you!

I say if the number of Poupko WhatsApps is an indication of love, this kid is set for life.  

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So to talk about our little angel, in Hebrew Dovid Gavriel, in English Gabriel Solomon. I’d like to point to his two great grandfathers - Grandpa David Panar and Zayde Solomon Galena of blessed memory who he is named after.

This is a malach/melech (angel/king) theme – so the names David and Solomon. Two kings, standing beside you right now little Gavi.

First to the Hebrew. Dovid - Hindy’s famous grandpa Dave Panar. Arna’s incredible gentleman of a father who embodied integrity & ingenuity.  A mechanical engineer and later professor for over 25 years at the University of Alberta - he specialized in building, fixing and flying aircraft engines. He was trained first during WW2, he later found himself in Israel right before the war of Independence, and Israel had no airforce or fighter planes.

Miraculously, like everything in Israel’s history, out of the sky an Egyptian fighter jet crash lands on the Tel Aviv beach and the Israeli’s thought, heck we might be able to use this plane. In came David, who guided the search for building parts and then eventually figured out how to built Israel’s first fighter plane - The “Black Spit" -- critical to Israel’s success in the War of Independence. He gave Israel their wings. 

He went on to become a dedicated, beloved, and inspiring teacher and storyteller, so much like his daughter, Hindy’s mother Arna embodies, through her innovative educational work at Wexner Heritage and the University of Cincinnati. Both giving their students the profound unexpected inspiration, the angelic wings to go out there and soar.

So for Gavi, the wings of Israel were built on the back of your great grandpa David Panar and they are passed on to you little Gavi, to wear with pride, wisdom, strength & courage.

---

The next Melach is King Solomon, My Zayde of Worcester Massachusetts. Basically the exact opposite. He was a big, big guy, with an even bigger Massachusetts accent, and after serving in WW2 he took over his dad’s garbage business and almost everyone in town knew him. He could have easily been cast in the Sporano’s - “Solly Baby!” they would say when he appeared, The Jewish garbage & rubbish man. He cleaned up messes all around town. In fact, my year in Israel I get to yeshiva and when I say my name an older rebbe stands up and says what I hope is some connection to Philly or Twins etc, “Galena? Is your grandfather the famous garbage man in Worcester?” Nachas I never wanted but Galena’s always somehow make a name for themselves. 

My dad and our Zayde would always call us “his helpers” -- his literal malachim, surrounding him with love. And I find myself doing the same with my own children, my helpers.

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Then the final malach - the Gavriel -  is the name we added. Gavriel is one of the archangels in the Torah, meaning God is my strength, my courage, my hero.

Funny thing about angels - my son Akiva once saw a Christmas special on TV and asked me about angels, he said so is Santa invisible? I said yes not really listening. Like Moshiach? I turn around um NO. Oh more like Hashem?? NOOO. So anyways I have some educational work to do but you get the point.  It’s a weird concept. Angels have one mission? They are invisible? They are holy? 

But when you look at who Gavriel is, he is kinda the badass angel. He represents justice, strength might, din. 

He is sorta the Fixer, the Michael Clayton, he cleans up messes. But Gavriel is all about the courage to do and fight for what is right. The original Avenger. He burns things down to build things back up. 

Side note: Gavriel is also apparently the angel of fire, and since Gavi was born on Lag Ba’Omer we found this a fitting sign for his name. Gavriel’s fire, not like Shimon bar Yochai’s fiery eyes, is often, in the end, used for the good of the story….Like the Dragon in Game of Thrones it can be fire for good (against white walkers) or fire for bad (women children in King’s Landing). Making hindy the mother of dragons..

Here are some Midrashic examples of the angel Gavriel interceding:

-Gavriel is one of 3 angels that visit Avraham after his bris, only to tell him he is off to destroy Sedom -He points Yosef in the right direction of his brothers, only so they can sell him into slavery -He collects the signs Yehuda gave Tamar only so she can confirm his paternity -He castrates Potifar (bris theme) so his wife needs Yosef, only to throw him in jail -He knocks out all the maidservants so Batya can pull out baby Moshe from the basket - He pushes baby Moshe’s hand to choose the burning hot coal instead of the gold, only to cause lisp    -He puts a tail on Vashti so she cant come out for Achashveirosh, 

There are many more.  It’s wild. Angels are nowhere and everywhere. And all these instances seem bad or painful, but in the long term ended up being the most critical pivot in our Jewish narrative.

And I ask myself - how many angels have done minor redirects in our lives? I turn left not right, meet this new person or see this old face. How many angels are in this beautiful shul alone listening. 

What I call Invisible Interventions. Little things change the course of the story. The faith in seeing the long of the story. This is the Gevura.

As the famous question around this time asks: Why is the chapter about Har Sinai next to the laws of Shmita? What’s one have to do with the other?

Because real strength is not just doing all the mitzvot- it’s the faith in waiting, holding off, the perseverance of staying the course for a year - and for some, many years. I think about on a personal level: How many needles, doctors, IVFs, retrievals did Hindy go through for this baby to get to this very moment? How many angels intervened? To believe that holding strong, come what may, is a real strength.

Azeh Ho Gibor? Hakovesh et yitzro... When do we feel most holy like angels? at the end of Yom Kippur, by holding off, by not eating. Neilah we are like angels. It’s the holding off that allows us to soar.

In our story - If our son Akiva represents comfort from loss, and Talia our blessing, Gavi represents our return of being fearless. The courage to continue. To move forward.

We have been blessed to be surrounded by angels on all four sides, as the song goes, with Rafael healing and comfort behind us ...and now Gavriel by our side. 

And as I think we can all feel in this room, if we close our eyes – V’al Roshi, V’Al Roshi - Shechina’s Kail, God’s presence, embracing us holding us, like a Rabbi Poupko classic bearhug.

---

One final interpretation of angels is in Pirkei Avos, and with this, I’ll close, it says that with each and every prayer or good deed a person does, you create an advocate, an angel. Angels are created by doing good. 

And what seems like yesterday, with the loss of our first star, angel Ayelet, still burning bright guiding us – like the torch of Lag Ba’omer...I don’t know the number of angels/advocates created by each of you here and our Ayelet Nation beyond – you have gotten us this far, your prayers/deeds were advocates - and with the new strength of our new little helper Gavi, I know we will continue to shine. 

May we all be zocheh today, tomorrow to go out there and keep creating angels… for ourselves, for others, and for our community - bimhayra vyamenu amen.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (22)

Anonymous said: Fake-Dick death angst headcanons? Sorry if you already did this tho

*finger guns*

There’s also some in here and a couple fics over here :)

Anonymous said: I want to start reading the comics where Damian first appeared. Do you know which comic that would be? Thank you!

Sure thing! That’d be Batman and Son (2006), Batman #655-658. After that it’s The Resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul.

@macko-99 said: Amy was it you who wrote Batman #16? It looks like something you would write. P.S. I hope you're having a great day. ☺

Lmao yeah it does kinda remind me of this one. I think most of us have written a restaurant fic or two in out time, but it was interesting to see it in canon. I wish I really could claim credit for it, mostly because that would mean I have a job (@DC please hire me. I don’t have a job. Catch me while you can)

And thank you, my day is going pretty well so far <3

Anonymous said: WHY ISNT DEXTER SOY THE ARTIST FOR RHATO REBIRTH ANYMORE?!?!???!?!??!!? HIS STYLE IS BEAUTIFULLLL!!!!!! WILL HE BE BACK??? (srry for the caps...)

Ah well artists move around a fair amount. I think a lot of times they get offered a specific number of issues, and then they’re out.I’m afraid I don’t know if he’ll ever be back

@therobin53 said: If the Batfamily attempted the Krispy Kreme Challenge, who would come out on top (without puking)?

Jeeeeez I had to look that challenge up, and kinda wish I hadn’t, because that sounds awful

Suppose I’d go with Tim or Dick tho

Anonymous said: I love all the Drake Protection Squad fics, but I was wondering how Harper Row would play into them. Would she help Damian and Jason with Tim, or would she be more like Tim (not taking care of herself)? Or do you think she would get involved at all? Anyway, I love all your headcanons, thank you so much for all of them!

Hmmmm she’s got a pretty strong protection instinct and very little regard for what Tim wants her to do, so I reckon she’d be more on Damian’s side of things. Problem is, she doesn’t know Damian, so I don’t think she’d ever be in a position to get involved. 

Anonymous said: Who's the scariest batboy? Like, who's the one that the others would at least low-key fear if they were villains? Who's the one no one wants to get on the bad side of?

Well on the one hand Jason totally kills people, and the rest of them don’t do that. On the other hand, Dick is scary as hell and I would never cross him ever

Anonymous said: *raises hand* Mother, do you know when Steph learned that Bruce Wayne was Batman?I've been trying to find it, but haven't had any luck so far.

Hm.... that one might be a little up in the air? I can tell you exactly when she found out who Tim was (Robin 87):

At this point, however, Tim’s birth dad was still alive, and he wasn’t living at Wayne Manor, so knowing about Tim doesn’t definitely mean she knew about Bruce. That impression gets reinforced over here

where “Who pays for all of this?” makes it pretty clear she doesn’t know. Worth noting that this panel occurred before the Tim reveal though.

I skimmed through Steph’s Robin run and the first bit of War Games, and I couldn’t find any time that she referred to Bruce by his name-- it’s always “Batman” even though she does use Tim’s first name in her mind. She didn’t know Catwoman’s secret identity, and she didn’t know that Matches Malone was one of Bruce’s aliases. Bruce always wears his cowl around her. I don’t think we ever get to see her find out?

She died/fake-died at the end of War Games, and she definitely knew by the time she came back. The cowl comes off in Robin 174, but you’ll notice she doesn't seem surprised.

After that, she refers to Bruce by name a lot. It’s possible that there is an explicit reveal that I’m missing? But I’ve never seen one

Anonymous said: Have you ever thought about the culture clash that would have happened when dick first showed up? Traveling Romanian “g***y” boy who grew up in a circus with a huge circle of people who counted as family, meets super rich emotionally closed off bachelor who’s literally only had Alfred. Batman probably got along with dick better than bruce did at that point.

Okay I’m.... guessing by the quotation marks that you know that word is a racial slur, but I’m gonna go ahead and star it out anyways.

Beyond that, yeah, I always figured Dick and Alfred got on immediately because of the performer angle. Alfred was a Shakespearean actor, and I reckon that would have felt familiar. I have a fic about it over here

@therobin53 said: Just listening to a playlist full of sneaking music for midnight snacking, and had an image of Alfred cleaning the manor like Christopher Walken in the Weapon of Choice music video. Do you think he does that when the manor is empty?

Pfffft that’s a great image, and I certainly hope he does

@quadpen said: Do you have any opinions on the rhato rebirth?

Hmm not strong ones, I guess. I definitely appreciate the move back to Jason’s post-crisis origin story, but I still don’t trust anything written by Scott Lobdell.

I’ll also say-- and RHATO isn’t the only book guilty of this one-- I don’t like it when Bruce’s attitude towards the Red Hood is “well maybe it’s good that there’s someone to do the things Batman won’t do.” I consider that kind of tacit endorsement very out of character for Bruce. The fact that Jason kills needs to be a huge problem for him. I can take it when he sort of ignores it and pretends like he doesn’t know what’s going on, but for him to explicitly say yes, this is going on, and I think it’s a good thing? Not a fan.

Anonymous said: Imagine Jason and Dick doing that acrobatic maneuver together??? Like??? I need a fanart gif of that

Pretty cool, right?

Anonymous said: I just thought about an au where Cass is a dancer because it's an awesome way to express herself without needing words and I'm :') idk i just felt like sharing I guess??? Sorry for bothering you

Cute!

Anonymous said: When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy. Then send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. (✿╹◡╹)

Hm post offices, chocolate cake, anything that glows in the dark, spoons, straight lines

Anonymous said: Hi I'm here for the ace in the hole project how do I sign up

Greetings, new applicant! Due to the wide-scale success of our program, we have moved into a localized recruitment model. If you are still interested in joining our organization, please contact your local office with your completed application and schedule. Snacks are provided. Thank you for your interest!

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I want to say that I love your blog and all your headcanons. They're seriously the best. Do you have any more songs for the different members of the batfamily/bat-affiliates, especially unusual characters like Harper Row or Maps? Thank you for your time!

Oh hm I always forget which songs I posted, so bear with me if there are any repeats here. I don’t actively search for this kind of thing, so all I can give you are the ones that I already associate with characters... which means nobody unusual. Sorry bout that

Laura Palmer (Bastille): Jason

21st Century Breakdown (Green Day): Tim as Robin

Great Big Storm (Nate Ruess): Dick

Wait For It (Hamilton Soundtrack): Tim

Gavi’s Song (Lindsey Stirling): Damian

Alone Together (Fallout Boy): Jason

Drown (Seafret): Tim

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For (either the U2 version or Peter Hollens/Sabrina Carpenter): Stephanie

There’s a certain kind of music that always reminds me of Dick for some reason, and these are all it:

The Parting Glass (Peter Hollens)

Happiness (Needtobreathe)

Hallelujah (Pentatonix)

Also just because you specifically asked about Maps, the first song I think about is My Eyes from Doctor Horrible’s Singalong Blog. Don’t ask me why. Seems like something she would like singing I guess. For Harper it’s I Wanna Get Better (Bleachers)

Anonymous said: Sorry you didn't get that job :/ not that a strangers consolation on the internet will do you that much good but i'm sure the next thing you apply for will feel all the better when you get it as a result

Ah it sucked, but I’ll get over it. I suppose I’ll start applying to law schools now :/

What are things/concepts/aesthetics you associate with me?

Anonymous said: For things I associate with you? I often think about you in relation to family, because of the great things you say about yours, and the lovely stories you write about the batfam. Also the colors red, green, and yellow, because duh

Ohhhh that’s good that makes me very happy

@accidentallyhopeful said: I associate you with warm hot chocolate, the smell of old books, and pens that have spilled ink everywhere

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ thank you

Anonymous said: aesthetic- rain and freshly sharpened pencils

Oh I like that yes I do

@inkdropfox said: southern accents, sweet tea, cheeseburgers, surprise presents, history, damian wayne, batfamily, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the (ง •̀_•́)ง emoji

GOOD

You never did get back to me on the sweet tea thing, did you? I’m guessing that means you didn't like it. Outrageous. Heretical. Unacceptable. 

Anonymous said: batfamily, angst, and jail.

How did you know I went to jail

[seasonreaper]

Lindsey Stirling Live at the Hammersmith Apollo - 03/04/2017

.Eh, a week later but I might as well make a post about this. It was rather a good live. Also sorry in advance for shit quality phone photos, should’ve gotten a new phone before the event really since I’ll be getting one in a few days anyway, or taken a camera, but oh well. There’s quite a few of them and a bunch more text below the break.

She put on a hell of a show, to say the least. It had pretty much everything. Dancing, sweet violin playing, magic tricks, backdrops, frontdrops, her bouncing around the whole stage a fuckton, like 7 different outfits, comedy skits, it was... an experience.

Now, one thing I do need to say is I wasn’t a huge fan of Brave Enough on first listen. In fact, a friend of mine (who I also went to the concert with) got it on release and sent the music over to me. I gave it a listen through, and promptly forgot about it for months. I think it was a case of getting into her music a few months prior, liking pretty much everything and picking up a copy of Shatter Me, plus hearing The Arena when she previewed it and thinking it was great. All of that got me pretty hyped for the new album, and that hype wasn’t met. I didn’t care for most of the vocal tracks at all and the instrumental tracks, whilst good, kind of got lost in the mess. I didn’t even bother listening to the album again until a month or so before this concert, even though I bought tickets for the event on the day they came out. Frankly I still don’t care for a few tracks (namely Something Wild and Those Days, although considering what Lindsey was saying about Those Days I do *want* to like it, but I just can’t get on with those vocals in the slightest, sorry) but the album grew on me a lot. Even so, I was kind of hoping she wouldn’t put too much of a focus on it for the live.

Well, she kind of didn’t. She did have half her set from the album, but the rest of the set was from the other two albums, plus a mini set of covers on a micro-violin and mini instruments which was great (see top pic here). Setlist is here. On top of that, whilst she did play Something Wild, she did it as an acoustic instrumental which I must say, is VASTLY better than the regular version. Somewhere under that vocal mess is a really nice song, I hope she releases it somewhere (or maybe she has and I haven’t noticed it yet) since I prefer it a lot. The setlist as a whole I was happy with, and that’s good. Gavi’s Song especially sounds gorgeous live, plus her talking about it was super heartfelt and genuine (it’s written as an elegy for a great friend and bandmate who died), I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her it’s all okay. Also fuck yes, Crystallize.

I really cannot fault Lindsey’s performance or that of her bandmates and backup dancers throughout this show. They all put everything into it and made it a really enjoyable live. And man, Lindsey has so much goddamn energy, constantly running around acrobatically and dancing whilst playing her violin almost flawlessly. Girl’s got a fuckton of talent, that’s for sure. Thankfully the venue sound was great for this concert, which was a relief since I was there a couple weeks back for a Devin Townsend concert and the sound was muddy for a lot of that. We were seated pretty close to the front in this case, similar to the distance for that gig, so I was a bit worried initially. Luckily my fears were unfulfilled and it was decent.

Also worth noting that there was a support band, that being vocalist/acoustic guitarist combo Sonya Stein. They were also decent, so check them out. Girl’s got a good voice. But yes, I highly recommend seeing Lindsey perform live, she puts everything into her shows and it’s really goddamn fun. Also gonna shill but in a few days my friend and I will have our video review up for the show (no live footage, just us talking and messing about on camera) on YouTube under Music Geekery, so hit us up if you want a little more info.

Also naturally I bought merch. I initially just got the right hand shirt, but ended up picking up the other one after the concert because fuck I’d had so much fun I wanted to support her more. Also that’s the only one that has the tour dates on it. This also confirms that the UK is not part of Europe :|.

[lucy90712]

I’ll be there for you- Pablo Gavi

A/n: this is a long one- 4.1k

Warnings: pregnancy; mentions of birth 

I don't quite know how it happened as it all happened so quickly but my life just fell apart right in front of my eyes. Today has been such a rollercoaster of emotions I've gone from anxious to crying to angry then back to crying and now I just feel absolutely nothing. I've heard of people saying that you can just feel numb but I've never experienced it until today and what they say couldn't be more true I just feel nothing it's like I don't have the energy to feel anymore. 

For the last week or so I haven't been feeling great and I could just tell something wasn't right but my fears were confirmed when my period was a few days late. I really didn't want to take a test as then it would become real but I knew I had to so this morning I went and got one without telling anyone. Of course when I had the courage to take the test it showed two clear lines meaning I really am pregnant. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears flowing down my face as there was so many thoughts flooding through my mind like what will my boyfriend think, how will this affect my studying and how am I going to cope with a baby. Growing up an only child means I've not had much experience with babies and I don't know much past the basics about pregnancy which makes all of this a whole lot scarier. 

For the next few hours I was so in my own world that I didn't even realise the time until my boyfriend came home and I knew I had to tell him straight away just to get that out of my head. We have been together for a few years and have talked about having kids in the future but not yet so I know he won't be overly happy but hopefully he will see that something out there believes this is the right time for us. I wanted a minute to think of the right thing to say to him but he noticed that there was something up straight away. I tried to brush it off for a second but he was persistent in trying to get the truth out of me. 

"I'm pregnant" I eventually said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm pregnant" I repeated

"Oh" he said bluntly 

"I don't think I can do this I'm not ready for a family and I feel like I haven't been as into this relationship recently anyway" he said 

"Wait so you're leaving me?" I asked 

"Yeah I'm sorry I just can't do it I don't care what you do but I don't want to be part of all this like at all" he said before just walking out 

With that everything got a whole lot worse. As if things weren't challenging enough I now have to do it all alone. In that moment I began cursing my decision to move to Barcelona away from my family and friends to follow my boyfriend and start school as now I have no support system and I definitely don't have the money to move back home. Most of my friends out here are from my boyfriends friend group as he introduced me to them when I moved here so even those people probably won't be here for me. Even thinking about having to do this all alone had me balling as not only is this a tough situation I also have a lot of hormones raging through my body making me even more emotional than usual. 

As I was nearly drowning in my own tears my phone began to ring so I grabbed it hoping it would be my now ex boyfriend telling me he regrets his decision and actually wants to stay together. That wasn't the case though it was actually my one friend who isn't associated with my ex, Gavi. He doesn't usually phone me at all let alone at this time so I felt like I had to answer just in case he needed something or something was wrong as despite my disastrous situation other people's lives still go on. I tried to sound like I hadn't been crying and asked him if everything was alright but he noticed something was wrong straight away and told me he was coming over before hanging up. 

It wasn't long before Pablo arrived and came straight into my apartment calling for me but I couldn't bring myself to get up from my position on the floor by the sofa. Once Pablo saw me he practically ran over and sat down next to me putting his arm around me to try and provide some comfort. For some reason having him by my side made me even more emotional and the tears began to flow again. Pablo then held me closer allowing me to cry into his chest which was just what I needed, he was there for me, he wasn't saying much he just provided some comfort which is all I want. He rubbed my back gently until I managed to gain control of my emotions enough to finally look at Pablo whose eyes were full of worry. 

"Whenever you're ready please tell me what's going on" Pablo said 

"It's a lot" I said 

"That doesn't matter clearly you need to get whatever this is off your chest and I'm here to listen" he said 

"I'm pregnant and y/bf/n left me saying he wants nothing to do with the baby" I finally admitted 

"Wow what an asshole" Pablo whispered under his breath 

"Are you ok how are you feeling?" He asked 

"Right now I just feel numb I don't know what to do it's all just a lot to think about" I ranted 

"Its ok I'm here for you why don't we just talk everything through" he said 

After that I took a deep breath and Pablo who is usually always messing around and having fun was actually serious for once and ready to help me. He allowed me to say everything that was on my mind and bit by bit we began to figure things out. Pablo promised me that he would do everything he could to help me and even insisted that I move in with him as this apartment isn't mine. I didn't want to have to move in with Pablo but he keep insisting that I need support and to have someone around and eventually I gave in and agreed with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later 

It's been a long hard few months. For pretty much my entire first trimester I spent the majority of my time laying on the sofa feeling exhausted and incredibly sick. However now that I'm approaching the halfway mark I have finally started to feel better and have been able to do a bit more. Pablo has been a godsend during all of this he's taken me to all of my appointments and done everything he possibly can to make me feel even a little bit better. On my really bad days he will spend as long as necessary sat holding my hair and rubbing my back as I throw up and when I'm tired during the day he will let me rest my head on his shoulder so I can nap. As much as those things have been nice the thing I appreciate the most is how he's been there for me mentally. When I moved in with Pablo I completely cut off my ex and anyone to do with him which was hard as it left me feeling pretty lonely but Pablo has been my rock as he's been able to help me see the positives of the situation and the right way to move forward.

Today is my 20 week scan where I should be able to find out the gender of the baby. Pablo begged me to make the scan for after his training as really wanted to be there. He's been to as many scans and appointments as he possible can but he missed the last few due to being away but he really wanted to find out the gender with me. Of course I had to oblige and make the appointment at a later time so Pablo is coming back straight after training to pick me up. Having Pablo at appointments has been nice as it makes everything slightly less daunting plus while I'm stressing he's able to actually listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. The only downside is that all of the staff think Pablo is my boyfriend and the father of the baby and neither of us are brave enough to correct them as we don't want to have to explain the situation plus I would rather not have the judgment. 

There are worse things than having people believe that Pablo's my boyfriend but it has certainly messed with my head. Since everything happened I've started to see Pablo in a new light and my feelings have drifted to beyond just friends. It's all very complicated as I can't tell whether my hormones have anything to do with my feelings plus I can't risk telling Pablo how I feel in case he doesn't feel the same and kicks me out as then I'd be truly alone. Day by day it's getting harder to keep my feelings to myself especially on days like today where Pablo is so excited to go with me to the appointment even though the baby isn't his. Pablo has treated me and the baby as though we are his the entire time which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I so badly wish that that was true but he's not mine no matter how much I think about it nothing will happen as Pablo doesn't need anything else on his plate right now. 

Just as I was starting to spiral into my little dreamworld Pablo came home and helped me up as I'm starting to struggle a bit so we could head to the doctors together. Recently my bump has really started to grow making it a lot more obvious that I'm pregnant which has made me a bit insecure as I always think people are judging me when I'm in the streets. As we got in the car like always the baby started kicking like crazy so before we left I grabbed Pablo's hand and placed it on my stomach so he could feel the kicks as he mentioned how weird it must feel the other day so I wanted him to experience it. 

"Wow that's so cool can you feel that all the time?" He asked 

"Not all the time but it's been getting stronger recently and baby's always really active in the car and when I want to sleep" I said 

"Aww so you like to keep your mama up at night already do you little one" he said to my stomach and I think I nearly exploded from the cuteness 

"Oh yeah getting me ready for the months of no sleep soon" I laughed 

Pablo laughed too as he started to drive towards the hospital but he kept his hand on my bump rubbing it gently which made the baby go crazy and had me feeling all sorts of things. I could tell that my cheeks were bright red and my heart was beating at a million miles an hour just because he had his hand on me. Having his hand on me made the car ride feel a million times longer but eventually we arrived at the hospital and I could begin to calm myself down so that the nurses didn't think I was dying or something. 

The wait for my appointment wasn't too long so before I knew it I had the freezing cold gel on my stomach and the nurse was checking the babies development to make sure they are growing as they should be. Once the nurse had done all of the important checks she asked if I wanted to know the gender to which I obviously said yes. As I responded Pablo grabbed my hand which made me look over to see that he had the biggest smile on his face as he was so excited to find out what I was having. Looking at him only made me smile as his smile was that infectious and it made all the nerves I was feeling about being able to be a good mother disappear in an instant. Right after that the nurse happily told us that I was having a girl and we were both super happy but confused as we were sure it was a boy but clearly we were both wrong. 

"Thats so exciting a little mini you" Pablo said once the nurse left 

"I know I'm surprised I was sure it was a boy" I said 

"Me too but you know now we have to go and buy loads of cute clothes and decorations for the nursery" Pablo said 

"I'd love to but I don't have the money to buy loads of things" I admitted 

"Don't you worry about that I'm happy to pay for everything and before you say anything I want to do this" he said as we were now getting back in the car 

"I can't let you do that Pablo as much as I appreciate it you shouldn't spend your money on a baby that's not yours" I said 

"But I want to plus I can't help but feel an attachment to the baby even if she's not genetically mine I already can't wait to meet her when she's born" Pablo admitted 

"Thats so cute your going to make me cry" I choked out

"Please don't cry I love you and your little baby" Pablo was quick to say

"Wait I don't mean I love you oh who am I kidding I definitely love you and I get that nows probably not the best time to admit that but it's time I told you how I really feel" he said 

"I love you too Pablo but if we are going to try this we need to take it slow" I said 

"We can do whatever you want I just want to give this a go" he said 

~~~~~~~~~~

Another few months later 

The second half of my pregnancy has been so much better than my first Pablo and I started dating taking things slowly of course but I've never been happier in my entire life than I have been the last few months. Pablo has been so good to me I thought he was super sweet before but now he is an angel he literally waits on me hand and foot and does anything he can for me to make my life easier. Everyday when he comes home he takes over and does the chores even though I tell him I'm fine to do it and then every night he gives me a massage as I'm at the stage of pregnancy where everything hurts. He has also single-handedly put together the nursery, we picked out the colour and furniture together and then Pablo put it all together and even decorated the room which turned out perfectly. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend than Pablo I thought things would be difficult at some points as I still have a very obvious tie to my ex even if we don't speak but that hasn't bothered him at all and at this point he might as well be my daughters father. 

Yesterday was my due date so I have officially reached the point of pregnancy where I could go into labour any minute. Luckily Pablo has a few days off so I'm kind of hoping that I go into labour soon so that he can be with me because I really don't want to give birth alone. This morning my back has been hurting more than usual which I have been told is signs of early labour but that could last a hours or even days before turning into active labour. I want to be done with being pregnant so badly that since we woke up I've been getting Pablo to help me do things that induce labour. I have gone up and down the stairs about a million times and we went on a walk so that I could walk with one foot in the road and one on the pavement as that supposedly helps too. 

Someone recommended eating spicy foods so I sent Pablo out to get anything spicy for me to eat but once he'd left the back pain I had started turning into more like cramps all over which was a bit more painful. When I have pain I have been bouncing on a yoga ball so I got up from the sofa and all of a sudden felt liquid rush down my legs which I knew straight away was my waters breaking. Until that moment I'd been feeling quite calm about giving birth but now that it's actually happening I'm starting to freak out as so far it hurts more than I thought it would and my waters have only just broken. Once I calmed down a bit I grabbed my phone and called Pablo straight away as right now I just want him home so we are ready to go when things get more intense plus I need some support. 

"Hey love is everything ok I'm just getting to the store" Pablo answered completely clueless 

"Forget that I need you home like right now my waters have just broken" I said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm going into labour you idiot please just come home" I yelled 

"Oh god I'm on my way I'll be as quick as I can" he said 

"Thank you and I'm sorry for yelling I'm just a overwhelmed" I apologised feeling bad 

"It's ok love I'll be there soon to help" Pablo said before hanging up 

It felt like forever before Pablo was home but in reality it was only about 15 minutes until he burst through the door and ran over to be by my side. Just as he got to me I had another contraction so I instinctively grabbed Pablo's hand and squeezed it to help with the pain. As the pain began to fade away I loosened my grip until I was letting go of Pablo's hand who was looking at me with fear in his eyes clearly worrying about me. He helped me sit down as I'd been standing up walking around and got me some water because he didn't know what else to do. I was trying to keep myself calm as I know that's the best thing to do but seeing how worried Pablo was was making me feel bad. 

"What do you need me to do amor?" he asked 

"Everything is already in the car right" I said 

"Yes everything is in the car and the car seat is installed too" he said 

"Ok then I just need you to be here and time my contractions as when they reach five minutes apart we need to go to the hospital" I explained 

"I can do that but please tell me if there's anything else you want" he said 

My contractions stayed quite far apart for a long time but eventually things started to progress and my contractions became more painful and were getting closer together. By the time they were consistently 5 minutes apart it had been nearly 9 hours and it was pitch black outside. Usually at this time Pablo and I would be sleeping but instead we are both wide awake and he's helping me to the car so we can go to the hospital. It really started to feel real once we got in the car as the next time we're home there will be a baby with us in the backseat. There was no time for me to panic though as a contraction hit just as I was beginning to spiral which took my mind off everything but the pain I was feeling. I needed to hold Pablo's hand as for some reason being able to squeeze it makes me feel better and of course he obliged but he looked a bit nervous about having to drive one handed. He drove with a mixture of extreme care and speed as he wanted to be careful and I wanted him to get to the hospital before I have the baby in the car. 

Once we arrived at the hospital everything happened so quickly we were given a room and then what felt like millions of people came in and out to check on me. I was hooked up to all sorts of monitors one to measure baby's heartbeat and another to show when I was having contractions which felt like a cruel joke as now not only could I feel them I got to see a visual representation too. Pablo was trying to be as helpful as possible but there wasn't much he could do other than let me squeeze his hand and rant at him about how much pain I was in. He was such a sweetheart no matter how much I was yelling as he was putting a cold flannel on my forehead and giving me ice chips which were weirdly nice to eat all while giving me encouraging words. 

We were there for another few hours before I was fully dilated and ready to begin pushing. By this point I'd been in labour for over 12 hours and was completely exhausted so when I was told to push I wasn't sure I could manage it with the very little amount of energy I had left. Luckily I had a minute while the nurses were getting themselves ready so I looked up at Pablo hoping to gain some motivation and I was met with his beautiful smile which really did give me a boost. 

"Come on amor I know you can do it, you're so strong, it will all be worth it when she's here in just a few minutes" Pablo encouraged as I was pushing 

"It hurts so much and I'm so tired I don't think I can do it anymore" I panted trying to catch my breath 

"I know carino it will all be over soon but you have to keep going for a bit longer I know you can do it" he said 

"Thats it you're doing so well" Pablo continued 

A few seconds later cries began to fill the room which was the best thing I've ever heard as it meant my baby was here and ok. The nurses then placed her on my chest and I got to see her beautiful face for the first time which was a truly magical moment and something I'll never forget. Tears begin falling down my face as I was so overwhelmed with happiness but they were quickly wiped away by Pablo who when I looked at him also had tears in his eyes which only made me more emotional. It truly felt like this was our little family however unorthodox this was our family and blood relation is never going to make a difference in that. Pablo was allowed to cut the umbilical cord and then the baby was taken from me so she could be weighed and have all the other tests they need to do done. 

"I'm so proud of you you did amazing" Pablo said softly 

"Thank you but I couldn't have done it without you" I said 

"Don't say that I did nothing I just stood here, literally" he laughed 

"Well that's exactly what I needed" I said 

"Pablo I know this might seem a lot and you can definitely take some time to think about it but how would you feel about me putting you on the birth certificate and giving her your last name because she's more yous than that dickhead who provided his dna" I said 

"I don't even need to think about that I would love her to be mine" he smiled 

Suddenly I felt so at ease knowing that I had Pablo to support me and that he was happy to raise my little girl as if she were his own as that had been on my mind for the last 9 months. Pablo truly meant it when that night he told me he'd be here for me and despite everything I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out.