#anyways i hate his over educated elitist ass

[xicanaroja]

My toxic trait is that I'm anti student loan forgiveness. Not in like a "higher education should be pay walled ra ra ra" kinda way, but in a "of all the things we as a nation are going to invest debt forgiveness towards, it's this???"

I'm sorry but I just don't think American public policy should be focusing on forgiving the debt of people who chose to go to college/university, and who will then get a leg up on other people in the workforce who don't have degrees, simply by virtue of having a degree? Like the debt forgiveness conversation should focus more on medical debt and school lunch debt, things that Actually are killing and starving people, than student loan debt. And it's not to say that I think debt forgiveness for student loans shouldn't be a priority - trust me, I believe fully in the total and complete abolition of money and debt. I just hate how "boo-hoo pity me" these college educated assholes are, when they CHOSE to go to college. You can say "oh, but they were minors/barely adults when they made this choice", but that argument doesn't fly in the US for crimes committed by minors/barely 18 years old. Why should you get debt forgiveness because you were young and naive when you took it on, but people that same age who commit a crime get tried as adults and held fully responsible for their actions? Just things to think about...

[skold]

Hi Marina! So I am thinking about going to art school and you've mentioned it before and I was wondering it it was something you'd recommend?

ok so here’s the thing. i didn’t go to an arts college i went to a specialty art school within a regular high school that you had to apply to get into and there was an extra tuition fee or whatever. so it wasn’t the true art school experience and i can’t attest to art school any later than a high school setting.

that said. going to that art school is one of the biggest regrets of my life lmao. it sucked out all of the joy i got from doing art. it turned it into a competition and a grading rubric and now i don’t draw or paint anymore. because it was fucking borderline traumatizing to go into freshman year loving to draw and by the end of senior year i never wanted to pick up a pencil again because i realized i wasn’t actually good at art - i was by far the least technically skilled artist in my class. but i was also so far behind skill wise i never was able to learn how to do stuff “right” so i never got any better. i realize this is probably just a case of my art program being trash. idk how many times i turned in half finished life drawings cuz i knew they were trash and i didn’t want to bother to improve it and no one was teaching me shit. i just looked stupid next to my peers doing nothing but shitty drawings of band members when everyone else was doing this incredible shit. and anyway. i won’t sit here and bitch anymore or whatever but like. i’d always dreamed of going to art college as a kid till i hit high school. it just. made me hate doing art. i spent most of my senior year half assing assignments and doodling shit in my sketchbook and sitting on my phone cuz i was so miserable. i felt stupid lmao.

anyway obviously i have no idea about higher education type art schools but if you’re even slightly worried that having to make art in a competitive context with deadlines is gonna be a struggle i don’t think i’d recommend it. but. if you’re actually gonna learn shit.

i also was essentially forced to drop out of the creative writing program at that school because the teacher hated me and my writing and she would constantly “lose” my assignments so i got a shitty grade and i dropped the class because it was my last period and i would dread it all day despite y’know, writing being my thing, and i KNOW i was one of the best writers in that class, but my teacher was so awful i dropped it and after i dropped she said she would’ve had me kicked out of the class anyway because of my low grade. which was her fault. and also i’m a shitty test taker and we had 2 tests per week, one vocab and one grammar/spelling/usage. not to mention the toxic elitist environment of the whole art school and the way the admins favored certain media/programs over others but whatever that’s a whole other mess lmao

sorry this probably isn’t very helpful but if any of my followers who went to art school (especially if you had a positive experience) pls feel free to drop a reply for anon in the notes

[ohthatbunnygirl]

Engines can be Rose (part 4)

An art school AU Reylo Drabble

______________________________

It was Lisztomania.

Well, not exactly the eighteen-forties fan-frenzied response to classical composer Franz Liszt, but the Phoenix song of the same name was certainly causing a present day scene. Walls and bodies shook in the living room, people screeched along with the lyrics at the top of their lungs, and arms flailed as intoxication ruled the night. Up against a wall, a far less enthused Rey clutched onto a cup of something she’d never drink. Desperately scanning the dancefloor for an escape route, her face took on the appearance of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ as she took a brave step forward. Horror for Rey was feeling a sweaty wet arm on her sweaty wet arm. That meeting of moisture made her want to wring old Liszt’s dead ass, and Rey thought she’d reached the end of her wits until when a shoulder bumped into her spine.

“Sorrrrrry!”

A slurred stranger’s apology didn’t count for much when sugary punch seeped between Rey’s toes. She shuddered with revulsion, but Rey miraculously refrained from flicking the drunkard off. It wasn’t anybody else’s fault that she felt awkward and out of place, but once “soiled by rum punch” was added to the list of reasons why she hated the party, Rey decided to call it a night. It wasn’t her scene at all, she couldn’t stop thinking about her art project deadline anyway, and if anybody met the girl’s gaze they would have assumed that the only possible explanation for her attendance in the first place was likely trickery.

In truth, she’d been bribed - and not even with money. No, Rey had been bribed with pizza- and not even with good pizza.

Four, eighty-cent frozen pizzas in exchange for accompanying her friend Poe to the party so he wouldn’t be alone was the deal once considered too tempting to turn down. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Rey had made a bad bargain on cheap pizza. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time that she’d been lured with pizza by Poe that month, but there was the bonus that night of getting to pat herself on the back for being a selfless best friend who cheaply fed herself too. It was basic broke ass college economics that led to Rey entering a three bedroom apartment party, but the minute they’d stepped into the chaos Poe had predictably swept away into a sea of loud greetings as Rey longed to bash her head on the rocks.

Every damn time.

After an hour of accidental shoving around a dancefloor, Rey weaved through the crowd. Pretending to dance in order to push past sweaty bodies, she slid along a wall. It took three songs to make her slippery way, but one darn good eel impersonation later she’d reached the hallway. Dabbing off her cheeks with a dress sleeve, she deeply inhaled. She tasted sweet freedom in the air mixed with a hint of nag champa incense, but her buddy Poe was nowhere to be found. Positive that her friend was likely charming the literal pants off of his crush, Rey inched closer to the front door. She was almost home free until she picked up on the faintest whine coming from behind the nearest bedroom. Much like Rey knew that she was caked in at least four people’s sweat, she also immediately recognized that that particular noise could only come from something cuddly with a nose squishy from inbreeding. 

That was the noise of something so spectacular that the normally shy girl threw open a door to a room that she had no business wandering into.

“Oh. My. God.”

Both of Rey’s hands fluttered up to her mouth as she gasped in delight. Bouncing on her toes, she loudly squealed as an adorable roly-poly puppy snorted up at her. The jumpy fawn-colored French bulldog joyfully pawing at her ankles while snorty-whining as Rey could not even….she just could not even. 

“Look at you!” Releasing a whine of her own, Rey picked him up. “Oooooh my god, you are the best thing in the world.”

Forgetting that she’d barged into somebody’s room, Rey sunk down onto the corner of the mattress resting on the floor. Lying on her side, she allowed the full on puppy attack to commence. A fluff invasion was thoroughly welcome after her crap night, and Rey swore that each little cheek lick was worth all the cheap pizzas in the world. Heck, each puppy breath snort was well worth all the flaky friends too.

“Who do you belong to?” she cooed at the little tub of velvety butter, scratching around his ears. “Who could leave you for even one minute alone?”

The question was meant to be rhetorical, but Rey had her answer when the door flew open.

“Be right back, just gotta throw down my bag-” a booming excited voice called out before his laughter died. “Uhhh, Rey?”

No, no, no, no, no.

Standing frozen in the doorway, her shocked TA gawked at her.

“There was a dog,” Rey rapidly explained, scrambling to sit up as the pup in question padded over to snort all over Kylo. “I-I heard it…he was whimpering-”

“You’re in my room,” Kylo cut her off, unconsciously scratching at the scruff along his jaw as his eyes widened. “You’re in my room…on my bed.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know that you lived here.”

“Well, I do.” 

Sinking into a thickening discomfort on top of Kylo’s comforter, Rey winced. The flustered girl felt smaller by the second as he continued staring at her with a dazed expression, and poor Rey rushed into a bad case of the rambles, “It’s just that my friend Poe was invited by this guy Finn who works at the coffee shop we go to. Poe didn’t want to come here alone in case it turned out that Finn wasn’t single -even though Poe’s pretty sure that a topped off coffee is an invitation for a blowjob. But anyways, some pizza propositioning was involved in getting me here, and then the puppy made me stay…”

Great talk, Rey.

Too mortified to meet his gaze any longer, Rey stared down at the mattress she was sitting on. The black sheets were rumpled from recent use, there were pillows on the ground, and Rey’s lips turned down into her own confused frown as she took in more and more of her surroundings. The room was stark. There were exactly zero pops of personality aside from a red painting on the wall, there was no clutter, and Rey would never have guessed that a talented artist could inhabit some place so utterly lacking in passion, so militaristic. To be fair, Rey didn’t know what she would have expected. She’d never given Kylo’s life outside the classroom much thought, but when she didn’t recognize a glimmer of the Kylo she’d obsessed over it hit her that she didn’t know him at all.  

He was absolutely altogether foreign to her.

Rey didn’t know what band posters she’d expected, or what awards he might have framed. She couldn’t guess the author of one single book on his bookshelf, and with each swallow of bittersweet clarity, her stomach turned. Feeling foolish, feeling naive, and more than ever feeling like a little girl with an out of her depth crush.

Cringing, Rey moved to get up when his voice stopped her. “So you met Ramen?”

“Who?”

“The puppy,” Kylo answered, scooping up the yipping animal for a cuddle so brief that Rey almost missed it. Sitting beside her on the mattress, Kylo continued petting Ramen while casually explaining, “I’ve actually only had him for a couple months, but he’s a pretty cool dude.”

“He’s awfully cute.”

“I think so too! Yeah, my ex-girlfriend’s family breeds French bulldogs for competitions. The pedigree is apparently strong with this family, and every puppy in his litter went for nine thousand dollars.“ Cupping the puppy’s ears, Kylo whispered, “Then some elitist twat suggested that Ramen’s walk wasn’t up to standards, and when I defended his perfectly fine trot, my ex’s mom gave him to me for free.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “You own a nine thousand dollar dog, but your mattress is on the floor?”

“Yep.”

“And you named your nine thousand dollar dog, Ramen?”

“Yep,” Kylo answered back with a grin so wide that it crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Ramen was the food that basically kept me alive freshmen year. So what better name for something else I love?”

Not about to argue with sound logic, Rey gave Ramen’s humongous ears some soft tugs. Purring at him, “And here I thought you were just adorable, but little did I know that you’re pet royalty too.”

As the puppy took an ungraceful leap off the bed, Kylo laughed. “He’s the fanciest one in the flat.”

“Well, your room is-”

“Boring.” Kylo finished for her, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you were going to say the honest answer is that it’s boring.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Something nicer then?”

“Probably,” Rey carefully considered her answered while absently leaning in closer to Kylo. ”My building on the outside honestly looks like scrap metal decided to get together in the nineteen-seventies. I don’t have much room to talk when it comes to running a place down, and I’ve always thought that you do what you can with what you have. At least the room is roomy.”

Kylo’s lips quirked to the side. “The room is roomy?”

“I meant large.”

“Yes, quite boring and large,” Kylo added with an over the top head bob. “Glad we can be honest now about it.”

“Boy you enjoy tearing it down, don’t you?”

“No, I just call a spade a spade,” Kylo shrugged, pushing his hair back behind his ears without a trace of agitation. “Honestly, my money doesn’t go into the room because any spare funds I have immediately get funneled back into my education or my art supplies. I’m too busy to worry about aesthetics inside a place I’m barely at, and I’m practical about where I spend my time- and who I spend it with. If it’s an option between taking a girl out on a date with forty bucks or buying a fancier IKEA tv stand, then I’m going to choose the girl every time. ”

To avoid the torture of hearing anything further about Kylo’s dates with other girls, Rey said the first thing that sprung to mind. Taking charge of the conversation while suspiciously eyeing his shiny black boots, “Hmm, you never struck me as all that poor.”

“I didn’t use to be.”

“You still don’t look it now.”

“Thanks,” Kylo’s gravelly voice rolled into a chuckle. “It’s nice to hear that the mostly all black ensembles I rock are doing me some covert social status favors after my fall from grace.”

“What happened?”

“Ah, that’s a good story,” Kylo sighed, his broody expression falling back in place. ”Pretty much everything about my current lack of funds has to do with a marvelous double whammy school screw over. Back when I was an undergrad, the Financial Aid office claimed that my parents made too much money for me to qualify for help. That made sense, but then after my parents cut me off after a political disagreement, I still couldn’t receive assistance.“

Rising up from the bed, Kylo placed a drowsy looking Ramen in a kennel in the corner of the room. Going through the motions of something nurturing even as the muscles along his spine tightened with tension. Back conveniently turned away as he explained, “Oddly enough, the school doesn’t exactly accept pictures of a heated up Thanksgiving Day frozen food meal as definitive proof that you’re financially screwed at eighteen. So all of the sudden, while I was taking on a sixteen-hour course load I had to simultaneously work two jobs just to afford my books, my tuition, and this apartment shared with a guy I met on Craigslist - who thankfully was not much for murdering. ”

“Wow, school’s pretty expensive here without any grants.”

“Indeed,” Kylo agreed. Sitting back down again beside Rey, he was unable to fight back the bitterness in his laugh. “There’s a reason the last gallery collection I showed was titled ‘Daddy Issues’ “

Before Rey could talk herself out of it, she took his hand in hers. Squeezing sympathetically, offering whatever comfort her small fingers could while dwarfed by his massive hand. The acrylic paint chips underneath her nails stood out so vibrantly against his skin -the quirky boldness so very her- and Kylo’s smile softened.

“You’re sweet.”

Dragging her teeth along her lower lip, Rey shook her head.

“Not entirely…”

A loud thump sounded from outside the door. Instantly, the illusion of intimacy dissolved away from them when they shifted apart from one another, hands releasing. Staring at the widened gap between them, Rey was struck with the ugly reminder that a party raged outside. Up until that moment, she’d plum forgot that her handsome crush hadn’t actually invited her to his room for an intimate chat. It wasn’t a date. They weren’t even friends. No, she’d barged her way into his life, and on the off chance that he was only humoring her, Rey gave him an out.

Stammering out, “Sorry again for slipping into your room.”

“Well, I’m not exactly kicking you out am I?” Kylo said, shifting his piercing gaze back to her.

“No, guess not,” Rey swallowed hard, chest rising and falling without hope of a steadying breath when he looked at her like every step of his day had been geared towards having her with him in his bed.  

Before the girl could trip over her own nerves again, Kylo intertwined his ink-stained fingers with hers again. An innocent enough hand squeeze kept her beside him on the bed as her heart fluttered up into her throat. Oxygen and excuses blocked off, feeling temporarily safe from embarrassing herself with words that would have proven useless after he proceeded to steal away her breath.  

“I should probably say something clever now,” he told her, “but I can’t stop staring at your lips.”

For a few stuttered heart beats, Rey was sure that she’d heard Kylo wrong until his thumb brushing against her knee proved otherwise. It was no daydream. There was nothing more real than those small maddening circles grazing against her skin as he shamelessly admitted,

“I actually think about them a lot.”

“Oh,” Rey exhaled.

Shifting his gaze from her eyes to her mouth and back again, Kylo continued, “I keep thinking about…”

“What?” Rey whispered.

“Thinking about how sweet you’d taste.”