#anyways i feel that theres a point where im too old to reread books i first enjoyed at like age 7 or 8 😆

[alexhatessupermarketcola]

The tension between me and the 14 Alex Rider books on my shelf which I kind of want to reread again but there's FOURTEEN 😭😭 (because secret weapon is staring at me too that is)

[leafy-wings]

qibli!! for the send a char

for this meme!

Sexuality Headcanon: bi definitely Gender Headcanon: it is with a heavy heart that i say i think he is cis. but like gender non conforming about it A ship I have with said character: i think qibli/winter is fine. idk if i just think im obligated to ship it or not. i dont even like qinter that much or winter but its like, two guys and im so fucking hungry for rep. again i dont think relationships born from trauma are really great but i feel like after everythings said and done they should be happy together because they deserve it. but like, theyre both so emotionally stunted that my original thought that theyd improve each other doesnt really hash out. i dont even really like peppy/broody as foundation for a relationship. i think non canon there are a lot of fun romantic intepretations of them though. i like the sun/moon imagery! i know its more accurate to label nightwings as moon aligned, but winters white. i also think that probably qibli and winter have too much beef about like, everything, like the monarchy or how they treat their friends. yknow what i just realized i spent this entire paragraph talking about how much i dont actually like qinter but ship it anyways because im a desperate little fruit A BROTP I have with said character: i like it when qibli is friends with turtle and there should be more qibli and turtle friend momence. i think both of them are kind and observant to their friends but inclined towards unrealistic expectations, but both also not observant inwardly and outwardly level headed, leaving them in a good combination where theyre both looking out for each other where they wont take care of themselves. i also think he should hang out with sunny more A NOTP I have with said character: qibli and moonwatcher. sorry. i know theyre like “canon” or whatever but every relationship tui makes it so bland and boring. i think qiblis really unfair to have been afraid of moon in book 6 and then immediately rebound into wanting to take advantage of her power within like 5 pages; i think itd be way more cool if he was more excited about it, considering that he never felt afraid of turtle when he found out about turtles power and the immediate rebound is just inconsistent and makes him look flaky instead of understandable. i also just am not super excited to read about romance between horrifically emotionall damaged 4 yr olds who really never get better. its fine its not like i dont see it its just.. theres so little there. its not like theres negative-qibliwatcher points but i just see nothing for it. A random headcanon: i want. catholic qibli. LIKE I MEAN a qibli who disagrees with Bad Behavior like swearing and drinking and gambling and abides by morality really hard. i think itd be funny. its not even really accurate but i think if inexplicably qibli insisted upon proper behavior itd be funny because i like it. General Opinion over said character: i actually dont like him that much. hes fruity i guess, but more jockish in canon than people represent him in their fan interpretations at least at first, everyone always turns him into this slick suave and soft bubbly sort of guy when hes more rough and tumble, which i think is neat but i dont really like. and ofc tui likes her fan interpretations so he ends up getting watered down into some mischief maker joker by the end of the series where i preferred him as a good example of being raised in a rough childhood but ending up on top and being charismatic but distant from it. and i dont really like the softboy intepretation a lot of people take with him because i like canon, and it kinda spits in the face of the original idea of him being put together. like ive said before i hated cracking darkness of dragons open and its just qibli going “WAAA WAAAAA” . i think i need to reread arc 2 though

[karamazovdmitri]

Ive noticed people seem to admire ivan a lot and when they say “oh i relate to him” its their inner desire to find themselves in him somehow, to have his depth and complex world.

Remember in the beginning of the book ivan was more passive and wasnt introduced like the other two brothers were. He was the typical smart guy whos edgy and serious and all. And thats it until later on in the book. “See, i dont seem like much neither however i am complex like he is too. I am more than what i seem to be/what people give me credit for.”

But he is actually the hardest person to relate to. Like sure you can support his opinions and all, but ive seen people who say “oh im just like ivan” and arent but hes who they want to be. Its very interesting. He is really unique.

Also he deserved much better than katya

hey anon first of all thank you for the ask!! second of all............ im gonna say it from the get-go, im not sure im entirely with you here but lets talk.

so first of all, i definitely agree that ivan is the most lowkey of the brothers when first introduced, ive talked about that before and ive also joked about dostoevsky perfectly illustrating middle child syndrome there lmao so im on board with you, not the biggest impression at first, but he comes back and makes up for it big time in my opinion (ive said it before but despite him not being my favorite character, a lot of my favorite chapters of the book are ivan-centric ones) and i have to say... i cant bring myself to agree with the portrait you paint of him. sure i have called him edgy and whatnot before, and joke about it, but to me its more of a persona, an image? he might look smart and edgy, but i think once you’ve gone through pro and contra, it’s really hard to still pin him down as that. he’s not being your typical idk reddit atheist or whatever, im not gonna get into that specifically but returning the ticket etc etc, he has some fundamental moral disagreements that make him imo, the opposite of edgy. one of his big arguments is that if suffering is necessary thats one thing, but why have children be a part in it? he goes on so much about how its unacceptable for him that children must suffer, that they are not only allowed to suffer, but that they have to, and you know how it goes theres more than one chapter centering around that. and like to me, someone who cares so deeply about something like that i just cant in 100% good faith call edgy. there’s also the quote where he talks about how the sticky little leaves and the blue sky are so dear to him, and he literally says “i will be drunk with my own tenderness” and i just think.... if after that chapter you still think of ivan as a cold, serious, edgelord type, you really should reread it, because ivan is so deeply caring and human, and i think book V really is the turning point in showing us that. ANYWAY lmao that went on a bit longer than planned but i just believe that like... it’s really easy to misread ivan, while after all he is simply 23 years old and confused and desperately searching for answers, and answers that will stand his moral test. unlike his brother, he can’t just thrive off faith, despite the fact that personally i feel like he wishes he could, but that’s where you get more of the “rational” mind feel to him, but that doesnt make him all edge and no point.

as for if he’s easy or not to relate to..... personally i cannot dictate that. ive said lately that being 23 myself, the passages on youth and youth carrying you through everything but feeling like it might all come crashing down in your thirties is extremely relatable to me. as someone who has some gripes with my own faith, some of his questionings are very relatable. and people can relate to his personality too, personally i do not as much, and being the first born of 3 siblings, i cannot relate to the middle child thing he has going on either, but im sure some people can. there’s many ways to relate to a character. that being said i do agree that maybe some people say theyre just like him while they want to be like him, im not doubting that this exists so yeah i’ll give that to you, but i dont think its necessarily bad. i think you can be like Oh i relate to his mindset, to this situation of his, and kinda. hope to absorb through osmosis what he does lmao

anyway not to drag this on forever, but at the end of the day i just think, ivan is SO much more than just an intellectual with his complex little opinion. just like his brothers, he has scars from a tumultuous childhood and the thing that plagues them all, which is: are you doomed to be a karamazov, is there no escape to it? he might seem externally more stable, but i think the more the book goes on the clearer it gets. ivan is not an entirely rational being, he IS very complex and deep for sure, and to me he’s also deeply human, with questions that i think a lot of people found themselves asking as well, and yeah idk how somehow along the way this became the Defending Ivan Karamazov Manifesto lmao but as i say.... just because i dont personally mention him as often as the other two, i still have so much deep love for him. also as for your last statement i honestly wont get into it because thats kinda besides the point and im still finding myself picking at ivan and katya’s relationship in each of my rereads i will say that it is a fascinating one to me though

SO? sorry i went on for SO LONG lmao i didnt plan on to but here we are, and i just want to say, this is really not to be read with a hostile tone or anything i think everyone can have their interpretation of the character but personally i just find it a little reductive to say he has nothing going on for him (”thats it”) while he has some of the most memorable and thought-inducing chapters imo, but yeah if i didnt scare you away youre always free to come back i just love discussing that book!!! and thank u again for the ask it was nice to get to talk about ivan for once lmao

[irregulardiaryposts]

23:08 23/10/2020 Fuckie wukie :( i have a chem and math test next week and i have to start proper doing my personal statement, im so stressed :(

 ive always wanted to keep a "diary" coz i think it would be cool to look back on but they are also kinda cringe . i wish i kept diaries when i was younger cos i dont remember anything from before age like 10. do i have amnesia? probs not but a diary wouldve still been cool to look at. i think it wouldnt have been cringe for an 8 year old to keep a diary because they dont have any concept of what cringe is, but it could be weird looking back at this and say CRINGE even tho all im doing is writing some works on a notepad.. maybe everything we do is cringe with enough time and growth. ill probably wake up tomorrow and delete this cos i think its cring. im writing cringe a lot. cringe cringe CrInGe CrInGe cringeeeee. oh well. 

i kinda like typing this out tho and the font looks cool so i might keep doing this every now and then. wifi is currently broken or some shit idk and i have to entertain myself without internet. i feel like an oogabooga man. thoughts... brain,... hm... 

i cant wait for christmas, but its the same every year isnt it? i feel like as a child you love the holidays and the holidays love u by giving you a break, time to spend with people, and presents and gifts and shit. but as you get older it dies down into a dull love for the holidays because time doesnt move as slow as it once did and its over before you know it , and youve got deadlines and stress and youve spent all your money on other people, you barely had time to go out with friends because you were studying or whatever and suddenly youve gained 30 pounds coz youve been stuck inside for ages. when i get older i want to really love christmas again, because at the moment i dont feel the love i once felt.. it gets crushed by school and stress and shit. im not even gonna reread what ive wrote because i feel like ill just delete everything or edit it so its so boring. if theres spelling mistakes deal with it. 

ive gotten into reading again which is good. i really do like reading since its like an escape, but it gets so hard to want to read and then i feel so crap if i havent read in a week or something. i need to be easier on myself , at least im making an effort to read which is good . 

i have this thing where i dont feel even slightly productive doing something for a long time (like reading or studying too) but then i get to a point where ive been doing as much as i can for a wee while and i look back and it really fucking adds up. like jesus ive read over 15 books since july and yet i still feel like its worthless everytime i try to  read. like what??? its like i do and also dont understand that small things add up to a big thing and that anything i do can help even if its just a small amount. go big or do at least something ya know. i never understood why go big or go home was a phrase because it doesnt really make sense. its always better to do a little positive thing when you cant do something bigger than nothing at all. yeah . the little things really do matter ya know. 

anyway bye

[gayregis]

OK first episode reactions

OHHH that was THE KIKIMORE............... im glad we get to see the fight because i mean. i would want some money for doing that crazy shit too. also you noticed how he killed the deer because he was probably starving. 

the moment of hesitation before he enters the tavern......... OK... [jaskier or yennefer voice] dont you just wanna stroke his gross dirty white hair

wait the uhhhh... “tavern scene” occurs in the witcher right, so i dont have to be scared bc this is the lesser evil, right, right, maybe not, idk what theyre switching around

the fucking cease of noise as geralt walks in.... the MOOD

cavill is like way too fine to be playing geralt rn i mean this shot where he says point me to the aldermans house is really showing off his profile. i feel sympathetic for this pretty pretty man

oh im regretting not rereading the lesser evil right now. i cant remember WHAT the fuck happens in that story. he goes to stregobor first though right??? right? he meets with the alderman and the dude’s like nah you cant get shit for that kikimore head, but maybe this wizard will give ya smth

my lesbianisms thinking renfri is pretty VS my morality knowing what shes like VS my witcher fan knowing what the hell happens in this story.... fight

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE RENFRI SO PRETTY!!!!!!! shes SO pretty and cute..... yall are making me like her fuck you fuck you SO hard.

the voice acting is sending me kind of... this is actually a good geralt voice imo if you dont mind me saying that. i still prefer polish tw3 dub but this is actually better than fuckin delvin mallory in the audiobooks. no disrespect, peter kenny, you did dandelion and yennefer and the hansa well, but geralt..... hm....

okay jk actually i need more geralt lines in order to develop my thoughts on his voice. ill wait until edge of the world where he SHOULD be more talkative

are we really going to stregobor’s fucking tower where a naked woman illusion waits on him and he offers to give geralt a go at this basically fuck doll illusion

“where are you from, geralt?” “rivia.” SURE.... YOU LIAR...... liar .... just WAIT until baptism of fire oooohhh just you wait

also this girl marilka is so sweet, also makes me think because milva said she was called that by some. but thats why she changed her name to milva

“because girls cant be witchers right” OK you reminded me 50% of ciri but now youre literally just proto-ciri

oh.... no foolery with the magic door knocker?

YEP I WAS RIGHT WE GOT NAKED LADIES!

wow this exactly what i pictured the inside of stregobor’s tower to be like lmaooo

WHY DOESNT GERALT KNOW STREGOBOR???????

oh its so weird to see ciri like. like old at cintra you know what im saying . like im like wait wait how is she alive if geralt hasnt been there as ravix yet. not BAD just weird for me

“speak normally” this reminds me of in bounds of reason dandelions like should i give the account in verse or in prose and then he starts speaking with the most flowery prose and geralts like PROSE prose please

“if you had been alive during falkas rebellion” please dont mention falka already we’re moving too fast soon enough leo fucking bonhart will be at our heels!

“and she possesses the power to destroy us all” “i dont believe anyone has that power.” WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET YOUR DAUGHTER DUDE LOL

wow he’s really full body dressed in black leather. huh . and people say hes heterosexual fml

okay i thought them calling the girls “girl” was kinda tender in the series but now its even more tender when heard aloud.

eist is like really present here and i like him enough its just that calanthe was like way more important than him in the series though right

“it needs to rhyme” and “pretty ballads hide bastard truths” so are we really just stealing every clever word that jaskier can say before he even comes into it

LOL CIRI LESBIAN LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO GET TO ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKS..... she said BEGONE HET!

OH I LOVE HOW THEY CONTEXTUALIZE IT SO WE KNOW THIS SHIT IS TAKING PLACE IN THE PAST..... WOW GERALT IS OLD AS HELL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO  calanthe was like 14 then right so LOLLLL GERALTS OLD AND TIRED lol

me: is a regis fan / also me: GERALT IS A SHITTY OLD BITCH LMAOO

uh oh spaghettios! its nilfgaard and one of their fun funky officers, son of ceallach! i havent seen him yet but im terrified anyways!

okay see this is how you do a  PROPER adaptation. calanthe in the books committed suicide so she wouldnt be r*ped right as she sat in a stupid castle but this calanthe is on the fucking battlefield. this is why we stan middle aged women

eist: [dies] me: AAAAAA cahir: [is there Waiting] (i think its him maybe) me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ah fuck ah fuck fuck

ciri: why [is nilfgaard attacking] ? calanthe knowing DAMN WELL stupid fucking duny is her dad: uhHHhhHhH idk lol

“you will rule this land someday” nope again! [thinks about lady of the lake] nope and nope!

ciri’s “are you dying?” to calanthe on her deathbed is the new “was he human” yennefer asking if regis (as a giant fucking bat) was human

i love how looongggg these episodes areee omgg

but also i always thought of the fall of cintra as something you know like. it happened in two shakes, cahir kinda just took ciri up by her underarms (like longcat) and left

OHHHH THEY IMPROVED THIS SCENE SO MUCH I WAS HOPING WE’D GET THIS OMG OMG BUT INSTEAD OF TELLING SOME YOUNG GIRL WHICH HAD WEIRD KINDA GROSS CHEMISTRY WITH HIM ROAVCH GETS TO HEAR IT!!! THIS IS HOW YOU DO AN ADAPTATION YAYY

renfri: who were you talking to? geralt: .. my horse.......... all of the fans: [dialing 1-800-TROUBADOUR immediately]

ugh i really thought they were gonna adapt the sex between renfri and geralt out. ugh ugh . too much heterosexuality

WHOA. HOLD THE FUCK UP. HOLD> HE FUCK UP. CALANTHE ADVISED CIRI TO TAKE MERCY. THATS LITERALLY FORESHADOWING FOR WHEN SHE CHOOSES NOT TO SLAY CAHIR AT THANEDD. WOW. WHAT THE FUCK WOW. WOW’

ciri you are gonna regret stalling so hard when mr. ceallach marches in. just saying. RUN.

CAHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR I ALMOST SCREAMED AND TORE MY STITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh.... ok...................... hm not what happened in the books.... where ciri is shot off in the midst of battle and crawls up next to a dead man and acts dead ........ lol cahir is even more evil now how is this possible i didnt think he could get MORE evil

[cahir voice] he deflected the arrow with his sword! ive never seen anything like it!

also have i said already that the cinematography is amazing. like the room where calanthe was on her deathbed.... that renfri dream was pretty cool too... just a lot of things are very pleasing to the eye

due to a injury in the carotid artery blood would be gushing everywhere. also is she prophecizing ciri? stop this there are already so many women in the witcher universe that give prophecy. theres like the girl in baptism of fire, ciri, everyone in ciri’s bloodline, and now renfri?

LOOOOLLLL THE HORSE

cahir: nice, GG guys, im gonna go get that cool promotion now, this will be epic, my mom will be SO proud of me-- ciri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA cahir: OH FUUUUCKKK

well that’s MUCH MORE of a report to file with your superior officers! “yeah so the girl fucking opened up a hole in the earth” instead of “ahh idk i fell asleep and when i woke up she wasnt there :/” .... cahir really is not getting that promotion now, huh

okay yall can say whatever you want about cavill as geralt but when he said “do not touch her” and moved his mouth like that? oh geraltisms.

this is a really nice episode i like how it just went into the action i wasnt convinced at first but ah this is quite nice. i like how it has JUST geralt and ciri in it and later yennefer will come in as her mom. renfri prophecizing was actually pretty ok, at first i thought i wouldnt like the change, but it makes it easier to digest for television. i like how they really emphasize that geralt is hated to all hell, and that ciri is powerful yet still babie. this is a good portrayal of both of them in these stages of their lives you know what im saying. also is cahir gonna chase ciri now for those Good Boy Black Rider points? bc there were shots of him in a forest. ah well whatever lets move to the next episode