#anyways hi i tREID TO KEEP IT LESS ANGSTY BC!!!! I LIVE FOR THEIR SOFT MOMENTS!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN THEYRE JUST. DOMESTIC

[msftsn]

@intcritus : ❛ you don’t have to be awake to cry. ❜ quotes that broke me : yae & antoine.

he doesn't open his eyes, does not dare to look at the kitsune when he knows tears stain his face and he certainly seems like a mess. he thought he was over it; thought that now even after his memories had slowly started falling into place, that even with all of his past resurfacing he was over it. what was done was done, and all that. and yet he can't help it, can't help the fact that sometimes he finds himself staring into nothingness, or that he will startle awake in the middle of the night barely suppressing a horrified scream. that he can barely conceal the terror and dread that threatens to overwhelm him whenever specific memories come back up. he hates it, wishes he could tear this self-perceived weakness out his chest with his own bare hand, and yet here he was, feeling a gentle hand on his head, grounding him to the moment as he relaxes visibly. as the tensions leaves his body. a low rumble, akin to a hum, leaves his chest while antoine goes lax. it's okay. he's safe. he's safe. she's here. it's okay.

despite the visible exhaustion drawing lines on his features, despite the tiredness he feels there is a drained smile that plays on scarred lips. he is so tired, and yet he cannot bring himself to sleep. not when the knowledge that even while asleep there is no respite; no break from the terrors that creep up on him. the only solace is the one gently, almost absent-mindedly playing with his hair. but she is never absent-minded, he knows that - he can imagine the somber smile, the underlying worry in those usually mischievous eyes and it saddens him to think he is the cause for such an expression. yet it also fills the selfish part of his heart with indescribable warmth to know he has found someone who cares for him so deeply, so honestly. his smile becomes the smallest bit more sincere and less drained; gains just a fraction of life back. his voice is groggy, tired; accent coming through no matter what.

❛ 'm sorry fer' cryin', ah kno' 's okay to cry, bu' ah promise ya' there's no real sadness here; 'm jus' ... rememberin', y'know? ❜