#anyways enough rambling rambler i should probably go to bed

[hochi-mama-1997]

idk if i ever posted that i played honkai star rail.. but i played honkai star rail.

heres a video i made after i looked at a kafka emoji and thought of funny meme

[ellie-24]

USS Randall Ramblers Part 3

Okay, this is the 2 in 1 deal everyone's been looking forward to not!

Writing prompts:

"Are you always this shy?"

"You're staring."

Tagging my partners in crime. @vintageshanny @from-memphis-with-love @thatbanditqueen @whositmcwhatsit @missmaywemeetagain @powerofelvis @be-my-ally thank you for the support, the debates, the inspiration and the horniness.

Summary: Phone calls aren't enough. These two just can't stay apart for too long.

Word count: ~ 5.5 k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Frankfurt am Main, Germany

"Talk to me, honey, whatcha do today?"

His smooth, velvety voice instantly made Mary shiver and she had to supress a childish giggle. She tightly gripped the phone and caught her reflection in the full length mirror on the other side of the bedroom, seeing herself blushing furiously and smiling. With a sigh she sank further into the matress and slowly twirled the cord in her slightly trembling fingers.

"Actually, I should be asleep already." She grinned teasingly, even though he couldn't see it.

"Aww, Come on, tell me something nice. Please. You know I can't go to bed without talking to you." He mumbled with a pleading tone. Mary could almost picture the famous pout he was probably sporting right now.

She raised her eyebrow. It's been almost four weeks since her visit to Bad Nauheim. It was then that he told her that he would be stationed at Grafenwöhr for the next six weeks, putting him even further out of her reach. But he'd call her every day. That's at least what he promised upon seeing the distressed look on her face. And he actually kept his promise.

For 4 days.

After that, his calls became less frequent. Mary didn't want to admit it to herself, but hearing his voice three or four times a week instead of every day didn't feel enough. It scared her a bit. She was falling way too fast for him and the mere thought of his calls possibly ceasing completely one day made her heart ache terribly.

That's why she sat by the phone on her nightstand every evening, waiting for him to call and ease some of the anxiety she felt. She'd stare at her phone for hours, eyes burning and heavy, stifling yawn after yawn. On some occasions Mary felt kind of pathetic, especially when she'd pass out from exhaustion while sitting up against the headboard, drool already gathering at the corner of her mouth. Oftentimes he'd call her when she was already fast asleep anyway, usually around midnight. The sharp ringing would pull her out of her dreams, which mostly revolved around him anyway, causing her to be wide awake in an instant.

If it was up to him, they'd probably talk to each other throughout the whole night. Sometimes he'd ramble on and on for hours as if he had no one else to talk to and sometimes he just wanted to listen to her talking about her day, family drama or the latest gossip at work. She found that gossiping was rather fun with him because he actually paid attention, unlike other men she's talked to.

"Well alright, you know it's Barbara's birthday on friday." She reminded him.

"Didn't you want to organize a little party at the office?"

"Yeah, scratch that, probably not gonna be a real party, but I really want to get a cake. I asked the other girls if we want to split the cost for a really fancy cake. You know with layers and frosting and decoration and the whole shebang. Now, guess who had a problem with that."

"If you ask like that, sweetheart, it's gotta be Kate." He chuckled.

Mary threw her hands up in frustration. "Of course it was her! Anyway I met up with Helga in my lunch break and her uncle owns this cute, little bakery and he'd probably do it for half the price... Hopefully Kate will be on board with that."

"Honey, just tell me, I'll pay for the damn cake."

"You don't even know Barbara!" She laughed.

"I-I know, but it means something to you." He clarified in a soft voice.

Mary pressed her lips together to stop the embarassing squeal that threatened to espace her and tightly held the phone against her chest. After taking a deep breath she put it back against her ear. "You're so sweet."

"I'm just trying to help my little girl."

Her cheeks started to hurt from smiling so much. "And I appreciate it... I'll let you know what Kate says."

"Alright, sweetheart. What else did ya do today? Wanna know everything."

"Not much I'm afraid. After work I just went straight home. It's so cold, being outside really isn't fun."

"Yeah, you tell me. This damn cold here is driving me crazy."

"And then it also started raining when I walked home from the bus station. I was soaking wet when I arrived. Fingers numb and everything." Mary continued and flexed her hand as if proving to herself that, yes, she could really move it again.

She heard him click his tongue. "Aw, my poor yittle baby. You all bundled up in your blankets now? All warm and cozy?"

Mary pulled the soft fabric up to her chin. "I am."

"And you're wearing your fuzzy little socks? Don't want your sooties to be freezing."

"Yes, Elvis. I'm all warm again, don't worry." She chuckled and watched the raindrops race down the glass window next to her.

When he spoke up again, his voice sounded clearer, as if he put the phone closer to his face. "I-I wish I was there with you sweetheart, sharing a blanket, just like on that ship. Remember? With you running your fingers through my hair." It sounded like he was smiling.

She smiled as well and bit her lip, the memory still very clear in her mind. If she closed her eyes she could still feel his soft hair on her skin. "And your cold hands nearly giving me a heart attack. But yeah I'd really like that. You're a lot comfier than my pillow."

He cooed. "You're such a cute thing. The bunk beds they have here can give ya a mighty back pain, I'll tell ya. Getting some real sleep is a damn hassle."

She sighed and her face scrunched up. "Oh, I know, I shouldn't complain. They make you sleep in these horrible beds and then they want you to walk miles and miles through that mud and I don't know what. Without getting some proper rest!"

He hummed. "And it snowed the other day. You won't believe it. We were knee deep in the snow. The vehicles nearly got stuck, and there were these stupid photographers everywhere, trying to get a glimpse. I looked like a damn idiot."

"Elvis don't say that. What are you supposed to do? And I think it's very brave of you to carry on and do your job, despite everything. And damn these photographers, I'd like to see them do what you gotta do, first."

"Language, yittle. Doesn't suit ya."

"Elvis, don't, you're starting to sound like my mother." She laughed.

He sighed. "One of us has to be the responsible adult."

"A responsible adult? Where? I can't see one."

"Very funny, sweetheart."

She shrugged. "I know. One of us has to be the funny one."

"I'll tell ya if there weren't hundreds of miles seperating us, I'd put ya over my knee now, little girl."

Mary's eyes went wide and she nearly pulled her blanket over her head, as if hiding would improve her situation. "Elvis!" She finally gasped.

"Where's that smart mouth now?" He teased.

She tucked a few locks that had fallen over eyes behind her ear. "I'm just trying to cheer you up with that smart mouth."

He snorted. "Getting on my last nerve sometimes, that's what you do, sweetheart."

She knew he was pulling her leg but she couldn't stop the words that followed. It was just too easy to mess with him sometimes. "Well, then I suppose you should just stop calling me."

There was a pause. "Now, you know damn well I could never do that."

She hummed.

He took a deep breath. "Talking to you is what gets me through all this." His voice got lower, almost like a whisper, which made it hard for her to understand him. "Honey, I'm already dreading tomorrow, ya can't imagine."

Mary squeezed her eyes shut as if actually feeling his sudden anguish just through his voice. She didn't even want to imagine the look on his face right now. Whenever reality would set in, it overwhelmed him in an instant. She never really knew how to respond to his complex and seemingly all-encompassing emotional turmoil. "Oh Elvis, I wish I could help you somehow." She mumbled helplessly.

His voice trembled. "...Cherry, I-I gotta see you. I-It's so horrible here, please I have to see you."

Mary still wasn't sure what to make out of the fact that Elvis sometimes nicknamed her after his dog of all things, but she tried to believe that this was just his very unique, strange way of showing affection.

"Elvis... you know I'd love to visit you. But I can't ask my mum to come with me again."

"I-I know, sweetheart. But they won't let me leave. I can't come over." He paused for a second. "I just... I miss you."

She took a shuddering breath. "I miss you too. Terribly."

He groaned and there was a low thud, which made her jump slightly. It sounded like he hit the phone against a wall or something. When he spoke up again his voice sounded strained. "Let me talk to your father, yittle. I need to see you. Y-You can stay at this inn, my father stayed there as well when he visited. The owner, she's a sweet older lady, she'll take care of ya."

Mary pursed her lips. "Well, I guess you can try. I'll also make sure to use my pout on him. Do you think it'll work out?"

"Trust me. I'll make it happen... Love you."

There it was again. He started saying it a few days ago, their phone call now always ending with the same sentiment. Mary wasn't too sure what to make of it. She always told her friends that she loved them. Was this the same thing? It certainly didn't feel the same, the butterflies in her stomach and the lightheadedness she would feel whenever he'd utter those three special words were proof of that. But what exactly did he mean by it? Mary didn't know if she would call it real love yet. Of course she deeply cared for him, but love seemed to be something for grown-ups. Something that she still felt too young for.

"Love you too." She'd still always reply, both out of a weird sense of obligation but also because it did reflect her feelings towards him and she wanted him to know.

He'd always let out a pleased hum before hanging up.

Grafenwöhr, Oberpfalz. One week later.

Mary looked around tentitavely. Everything here seemed to be made out of wood. She tried not too make much noise while walking around, the floorboards creaking with every step she took. The chairs and tables looked carefully crafted, albeit a bit used and discoloured in places. Mary raised an eyebrow when she looked over at the counter at the other side of the room, with various kinds of liquors stacked onto the shelves behind it. All in all this place seemed to be a bar rather than an inn but she quickly decided that she didn't care. Right now she seemed to be the only one here, except for a few faint voices that could be heard from behind the heavy, wooden door next to the counter. Mary pondered what she should do while carefully inspecting the crochet tablecloth in front of her. She even briefly wondered if she was at the right address.

"There she is! My sweet girl." His voice suddenly boomed behind her. With a jump she quickly turned and saw Elvis beaming at her as he approached, determination in his stride. In an instant she felt his arms around her, a feeling that seemed to be almost familiar by now. She leaned against him and hugged him back, her arms around his neck in a tight grip. She pulled him even closer, happy that she could actually feel him again, and he laughed.

When they parted again he smiled down at her, his eyes wandering towards her lips. Mary felt her heartbeat picking up rapidly when he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers in another short, yet incredibly sweet, kiss. She looked at up him, eyes wide open, her cheeks red.

He softly caressed her waist. "Little Cherry came here all alone just to see me. She's best. Been on my mind the whole day now."

She reached up and rubbed her hands over his hard chest with a smile. "It's so good to see you again."

Suddenly the door behind them opened and a kind looking, middle aged woman wearing an apron appeared. She threw a towel over shoulder, her gaze flickering towards Elvis, then her.

Upon seeing the curious look on her face he stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Ma'am, this is Mary. She's my guest."

Her face lit up. "Oh, you're Mary. I am Frau Feiner. It's lovely to have you here. I hope you'll like it, if you need anything just ask me."

"Thank you, that's very kind." Mary nodded with a smile and looked back at Elvis. He guided her towards a nearby table and promptly plopped down onto the wooden chair. Without warning he pulled her onto his lap and gently patted her stomach with a grin. "Come on, sweetheart, ya gotta eat something. Mrs. Feiner here makes the best Schnitzel. Ain't that right?" He hollered over to Mrs. Feiner who was still busy wiping the counter.

"That's true." She replied with a wink and disappeared through the same door she'd come from before.

"That sounds great, now we only need some Schlager music to round it off." Mary joked, eyeing the old jukebox in the corner of the room.

He snorted. "Ya really listen to that?"

"Helga sometimes makes me. It's not that bad actually. But I still prefer that other guy. That rock 'n' roll singer. You know the one we talked about before?"

"The one who's been on TV and everything?"

"Yeah, that's the one!"

"Mhm. You talk a whole lot about him, honey, makes me wonder if I should feel jealous."

His strong arms pulled her closer to him, so that she was now fully leaning against him. He winced a bit at his own action and squeezed his eyes shut with a shake of his head. Mary furrowed her brows and reached out to gently stroke his hair, just how he liked it. "What is it? You're not feeling well?"

He closed his eyes and leaned into her soft touch. "Just a bit tired, honey. And a bit of a headache. Spend the whole day at the Czech border, patrolling."

Her frown deepened. "Oh no, I hope they didn't give too much of a hard time."

"Honey, the thing is I constantly feel like I-I gotta prove my worth or something. Everyone in the Army still thinks I'm a damn joke."

She shook her head. "I only hear good things about you, Elvis. Part of the reason why my father allowed me to come here on my own is because he trusts you to take care of me. Word gets around you're doing a great job serving your country."

"Definitely don't feel like it."

"My father told me he heard that you're always the first one to volunteer if there's a difficult task ahead. Always doing way more than what's asked of you."

He threw up his hands. "That's because I'm trying to do everything in my power to show them that I'm worth my salt. Gotta work ten times harder than any other G.I.!"

She carefully patted his chest, playing with the breast pocket of his jacket. "I know, it's not fair. But it's paying off, believe me. You should be proud of yourself."

He looked down at her fingers, avoiding her gaze. "Don't know."

Mary reached up to cup his chin, forcing him to look at her. "I'll get you there. I'm certainly proud of you."

He furrowed his brows and his eyes briefly welled up before he managed to catch himself again. It seemed like he wanted to say something, his mouth opened and closed multiple time before he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He watched her intently for a moment before a half smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "S' good that you're here now. It's balm for the soul I'll tell ya. I already feel so much better. It's like magic." He mumbled and pressed his cheek against hers.

She giggled. "I'm no wizard, Elvis."

"Are you sure?"

She gave herself a once-over. "Last time I checked I wasn't, no."

"Maybe a little fairy then. Far more fitting. Look-wise, I mean. Although-"

"Careful, Presley." She warned jokingly and jabbed a finger against his chest, making him chuckle.

Ms. Feiner then approached them, two plates in her hands and swiftly set them down on the table with a sweet "Enjoy!" before making her way back again. Mary gave him another look and quickly kissed his cheek before sliding out of his lap onto the chair next to him. He playfully narrowed his eyes at her and pulled her chair towards him, making sure their legs were touching under the table. With a giggle she quickly started eating, feeling rather hungry because her nerves had made her skip lunch that day.

"You wanna go to the movie theatre at the base later? I'll invite some friends so I can show you off and then we'll have a nice evening, what do you think?" He asked and gently nudged her with his shoulder.

She slowly blinked at him. Actually she'd hoped to spend the evening alone with him, but the prospect of being 'shown off' sounded intriguing as well. "Uh, sure why not? Sounds fun."

He smiled at her, his mouth full and swalllwed. "Okay sweetheart, then you'll get all fixed up and I'll have someone pick you up in an hour alright? Mrs. Feiner will show you the guest room upstairs and she'll take care of ya, okay?" He lifted his fork to his mouth. "Damn, that's good." He mumbled to himself as if he hasn't eaten in years. After they both finished their plates, when Elvis finished his third portion anyway, he briefly pecked her lips again before heading off to the base again.

Mrs. Feiner took her updtairs and she quickly settled into the small guest room. She decided to call her parents to let them know that everything went well, or she'd never hear the end of it. After that she tried to calm her sudden nerves again. How would Elvis introduce her to of his friends? Who even were they? Fellow soldiers? She just hoped they'd be nice as she combed her hair, her gaze transfixed on the thin layer of snow still covering the window sill.

When she arrived at the training area about an hour later she spotted Elvis standing at the entrance of the movie theatre, along with another man and a small, brunette woman. The enthusiastic smile on Mary's face quickly died when she saw Elvis reaching out to stroke the strange girl's cheek and leaned over to softly kiss her cheek. Mary halted in her tracks, nearly stumbling over her own feet. She couldn't stop the burning feeling of jealousy coursing through her veins at the sight of him being affectionate with another woman. He had a reputation of always being very loving and warm in his interactions with the women in his life, his fans, that's at least what she knew from magazines and his many apperances on TV. But this... seemed more intimate. She didn't like it.

"Come here, Mary!" Elvis shouted and gestured around wildly. The deep breath she took formed a small, misty cloud around her face and she slowly walked towards them, careful not to slip on the frozen cobblestone ground. She tried to ignore the knot in her stomach as her eyes flickered between Elvis and the woman next to him. When she was within reach Elvis grasped her hand and turned back towards his friends. "That's her. Isn't she the cutest thing y'all ever saw?"

"Hello, I'm Elisabeth, it's so nice to meet you!" The brunette spoke up with a polite smile and a light German accent.

Mary tried to force a sweet smile as she shook her hand.

"Mary." She curtly introduced herself. The girl seemed to be nice, at least she made an effort, but Mary just couldn't bring herself to like her, no matter how hard she tried to ignore her personal feelings. She wondered if she was acting childish and tried to control the creeping feeling that maybe she did take her and Elvis' relationship more seriously that he did. Even though this was only their third time meeting each other she knew that no one ever made her feel the way he did and she was certain that no one else ever would. Her thoughts started to spiral for a horrible, incredibly long second before the other man spoke up and held out his hand as well.

"Rex, pleased to meet you."

Mary didn't look at him, her gaze fixated on the stoneground beneath her as she tried to control the chaos in her head. Elvis put his arm around her shoulders with a smile, his body pressing into hers. The feeling of his solid strength so close to her made her feel both grounded and erratic at the same time.

"Are you always this shy, Mary?" Rex inquired with a gentle smile after a few seconds of her refusing to look at him. She then absentmindedly shook his hand before it would get even more awkward.

Elvis let out a little chuckle, his body vibrating against hers. The feeling finally pulled her out of her wicked thoughts. She cleared her throat and tentitavely hugged Elvis as well, her hand gliding over his back. "Well, it's not often that you go out with a world famous celebrity, is it?" She offered and tried to look flustered instead of hurt and confused. With a flick of her wrist she carefully squeezed his side, making him jump slightly.

Elisabeth briefly touched her arm. "Don't be nervous, Mary. He's a nice man. And I should know, we're here together almost every evening." She replied with a genuine, kind smile that was probably meant to calm her.

"Is that so?" she asked and looked up at Elvis, whose face betrayed nothing, a stiff mask displaying nothing but utter neutrality. "Well then there is nothing to worry about I suppose." Mary quipped and leaned further into him.

The four of them made their way inside with Elisabeth and Rex happily chattering and leading the way. Mary barely managed to pay attention to the conversation, but politely nodded along every now and then as Elisabeth kindly linked her arms with hers and pulled her aside a bit, telling her about her stepfather being a sergeant in the Army and how he and her German mother met and got married. Elisabeth then proceeded to share the story of how she and Elvis met at this very movie theatre only a few days ago. Mary kept looking over to him, now apparently deep in a conversation with Rex. When he caught her eye he winked at her and she quickly averted her gaze again.

The auditorium was small and practical, nothing fancy, with seats that didn't look too comfortable and bare, grey walls. "I wanna sit in the back." Elvis announced and leaned in closer to Mary. "What about you, Cherry?" He whispered into her ear about a second later.

"I don't care." She replied, her expression indifferent.

He briefly frowned at her in confusion.

Elisabeth then gestured towards the seats next to her. "What about here?"

Rex nodded and Mary looked at Elvis.

"Come on then, honey." Elvis chimed in and pulled her along with him, towards the back. She turned her head and saw Elisabeth and Rex shrugging at each other as they went to sit down. Well at least she would be alone with him now, she thought as she eyes the last row where no one had sat down yet. Shortly after her and Elvis sat down, she felt him watching her intently, trying to figure out her why she's been acting so strange ever since entering the movie theatre. He was interrupted by a small group of soldiers approaching them, seemingly wanting to sit down next to them.

"Go on, get your own row, damnit!" Elvis shouted over to them, making them look at each other and shuffle away quickly.

He then let out a content sigh and put one arm around her, his hand resting at her neck. He gently smiled down at her and briefly kissed her temple. His soft, tender touches almost made her forget his earlier interaction with the German girl he apparently saw almost every evening. She still felt his gaze burning into her profile and shifted in her seat. He didn't even try to make it subtle, facing her shamlessly instead of the screen. Mary focused on keeping her breathing even and tried to act as normal as possible but despite her best efforts her head eventually turned towards him on it's own. Instead of feeling caught and looking away his eyes lit up and leaned in closer to gently bump his nose against hers.

"You're staring." She whispered.

"What, I'm not allowed to look at the prettiest girl in here?" He grinned.

She hummed, not quite believing what he said.

"What? I'm just saying how it is."

She leaned back and looked straight ahead again.

He cleared his throat. "You know, I can't help but feel like you're, uh, angry with me, honey."

"It's nothing."

His hand around her neck reached out to play with a strand of her hair, gently twirling it between his fingers. "Come on, sweetheart. You think I'm gonna fall for that? I already told ya I know everything there is to know about women."

"Really, it's nothing."

He clicked his tongue in frustration. "Stop being so stubborn. As much as I'd like to read your mind and see what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, I can't. Ya gotta help me a bit. Please, talk to me."

Mary bit her lip and looked away from him, thinking about how she should phrase what exactly bothered her. If she should tell him at all. His fingers now drew comforting circles on her arm and he was uncharacteristically patient while waiting for her to sort out her emotions. "...Alright, uh, I guess... First-" She held up a finger. "-you promised me that you'd call. Every day."

He opened his mouth.

She held up another finger, silencing him. "Second. You said 'no other girls'."

"There are no other girls, just you." He replied without hesitation.

Mary raised an eyebrow at him, her gaze flickering towards the brunette a few rows in front of them and then back to him. He lowered his face and looked at her through his lashes. "Now, don't gimme that look. Elisabeth... she's just a friend. A-And she happens to speak German, which is useful, I reckon. That's all, Cherry. Now, don't spoil the fun and be good, okay?"

She huffed. "I'm not trying to ruin the mood. And I don't want to tell you what you can and can't do. I'm not like that. Just..." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

He turned his body back towards her and gently cupped her cheek. "...A-Alright, I can see why you're mad at me. I-I get it now, trust me... I've neglected you too much. I'll make sure to take care of you more."

"Elvis, that's not-"

He lowered his head and moved to nuzzle his nose against her neck. "Mhm, that's what my widdle baby needs and what she deserves." He whispered, his hot breath ghosting over her exposed skin. It tickled her and she tightly gripped her skirt, the heavy fabric now bunched up in her fists.

"Elvis-"

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Cherry, you're my best girl, I want you to know that."

Mary sighed and tried not to let her cheek sink into his soft hair. She failed. "...Is that true?"

He hummed and moved closer to her neck again. "S' the gospel truth, honey." With that she felt the feather light brush of his soft lips against her pulse point. She let out a small yelp when he continued peppering soft kisses along her now heated skin. He put one arm around her waist to pull her closer towards him. She could feel him grinning against her when she lifted her chin and angled her head away from him to give him easier access. While he licked, suckled and mouthed at her neck she quickly looked around the dimly lit room, relieved that no one seemed to pay attention to them. Mary had to press her legs together when his hand moved over her jaw, along her neck until it rested just below her clavicle. He could probably feel her heart beating wildly in her ribcage.

"Elvis." She whispered.

He let out a low grunt in response.

"Kiss me."

"I am." He murmured, his voice muffled.

With a playful click of her tongue she promptly moved away from him and his touch, making him whine as he tried to chase after her. She let out a small giggle at his confused face and leaned over to press her lips against his, her fingers brushing over his jaw. He laughed into the kiss before eagerly moving his mouth against hers. His hand grazed over her upper body, back to her clavicle before moving down further. Mary couldn't suppress a small groan when he attempted to slip his tongue inside her mouth and briefly squeezed her breast at the same time.

"You!" She gasped with a grin and gently tugged at his earlobe. He chuckled, his teeth clanking against hers, and boldly squeezed her breast once again. It sent shockwaves of pleasure directly into her lower belly and their lips quickly met again in an open mouthed, heated kiss. He put a hand on her knee and Mary shivered when he moved it higher and higher, fingers digging into her the supple flesh of her thigh. A small sound escaped from the back of his throat, adding to the throbbing sensation she felt. He was now dangerously close her core and just when she thought he'd touch her there and ease some of the ache, he pulled his lips away from her. When they parted they just looked at each other for a moment, both breathing heavily. His hand still soothingly rubbed over her thigh and she swallowed hard.

"All good again?" He asked with a grin, still a bit breathless.

She exhaled shakily. "Sorry, Elvis, it's just, uh, I don't know."

"Tell me, honey."

She shrugged and leaned forward to press her forehead against his. "I guess I don't know why you would want to spend time with me... I'm nothing special." She cringed at herself while saying it out loud, being openly vulnerable with others wasn't something she was particulary fond of. It's not that she didn't trust Elvis, she just preferred to deal with her emotions on her own.

He urgently hugged her closer to him. "Honey, no no no, don't say that. I don't wanna hear any of this nonsense. You have no idea how special you are to me. I-I can always talk to you a-and you never judge me. You're there when I need someone to take care of me."

"I guess." She mumbled, her eyes burning.

"You always cheer me up, honey. Lemme do the same for you now. I don't like seeing you sad. Wanna see that smile again."

She hummed and shrugged, not trusting her voice right now.

He gave her another kiss. This one was slow and sweet, his pillowy lips barely brushing against hers as he held her cheeks in his big, strong hands. Then he went on to pepper her whole face with small kisses until she couldn't stop the grin tugging at her lips. He stopped and gently ran his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her head.

"There's that pretty smile I love so much." He mumbled.

She let out a watery laugh. "You really know how to make a girl feel good."

He bit his lip with a smile, his eyes twinkling. "Oh, my sweet Cherry, you have no idea."

Also tagging a few people who seemed to enjoy the first two parts. Please let me know if you don't want to be tagged! @godlypresley @18lkpeters @lookingforrainbows @richardslady121 @kingdomforapony @c-rosenn

[5hfanfiction]

you're somebody else

“I tried to tell myself, maybe you’re right. That maybe you didn’t change, but the way I see you. I thought about your words over and over again, hoping I’d figure out why you said that, but I couldn’t, because you’re wrong, Lauren. You did change so please stop lying to yourself. That’s not you, that’s not the Lauren I met in the coffee shop years ago”

(trigger warning: mention of drugs and violence)

She was still awake, laying in her bed with opened eyes when she heard the lock of their old apartment. She didn’t know what time it was, but it was too late for Lauren to come home. According to the noise the older girl was making outside of their apartment she wasn’t sober enough to actually find the lock with her keys, so Camila stood up with an annoyed sigh. While the other girl still struggled with opening the door Camila took her time and looked at her phone first, Lauren always let Camila wait before she came home so now Camila could let her wait a little before she opened the door. It had already been 2:41am but it wasn’t surprising, it got worse every day. Surprising was only the fact, that Lauren still came home at all. The reality was, Camila waited for the night where Lauren would go. It wasn’t that she didn’t love the other girl because she did. Admittedly, she loved Lauren more than herself, but maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Lauren rather spent all her nights outside god knows where, while Camila was busy all day with work so that at least one of them could pay the bills.

Of course, it wasn’t always like that. When Camila met Lauren in college she wasn’t a lost girl. No, quite the opposite, she helped Camila to find herself. It didn’t take her long to realize that Lauren was a glib person, the way she talked with so much passion behind it made it easy for Camila to listen to Lauren ranting about politics and laws all day. Back in high school, Camila hated talking with her classmates about these things, but with Lauren it was something else. Lauren knew what she was talking about. Moreover, she had no problem with speaking out loud and Camila was glad she didn’t, because that was one of the things why Camila fell so deeply in love with her. Lauren was the kind of girl that just caught your attention, so no one can blame Camila for falling.

Camila just entered a small cafe uptown when she got a phone call from the friend she was supposed to meet. “What do you mean, you can’t come?” She asked a little too loud after her friend, Normani, explained why she was calling. “How am I supposed to write an essay about the political view of a person that isn’t here?”

“I’m so sorry, Camila” Normani spoke. “It’s an emergency. But hey you know me long enough, you don’t need me there,” She continued convinced.

“Yes, okay. I’ll come up with something.” She said, more to herself than to her friend and ended the call. The truth was, she didn’t know enough about politics for her own assignment, what was kind of sad.

She looked around and immediately noticed that this place was full and her first instinct told her to turn around, and go but she couldn’t go back to her dorm, because her annoying roommate was there with her jerk of a boyfriend, probably doing things Camila didn’t want to know about.

Her eyes scanned the room and the girl found a seat that hadn’t been taken yet, so she made her way over and smiled at the girl that was already sitting across. “Hey, is it okay if I take this seat?” She asked kindly, but the other girl didn’t even look up from the book in front of her and just nodded slowly.

Camila rolled her eyes but took it as a yes. She laid her stuff down and ordered a black coffee before she went back and took her laptop out of her bag. She opened a new document and easily wrote an introduction to her project, and tried to write the rest without Normani but failed after a few boring sentences. She deleted them again and took a sip of her coffee. “Stupid law students” She cursed under her breath and this seemed to catch the attention of the girl sitting across from her. She looked up from her book, with a raised eyebrow and Camila didn’t know she was being watched until the girl spoke.

“We haven’t talked yet, and you’re already insulting me?” She asked with a slight grin.

Camila looked up from her laptop and only now saw that, the book the other girl was reading, was the same book Normani used for some of her classes. Her cheeks turned red and she nervously bit her bottom lip. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry” She quickly said. “I wasn’t talking about you, I mean, I didn’t know you were a law student. How would I, you know, we just-”

The girl cut her off and Camila was thankful because knowing herself this rambling wouldn’t have stopped anytime soon, she was a very talented rambler, in awkward situations. “It’s fine, I’m just teasing, I know that we don’t know each other, so I’m trying not to take this personally.”

Camila looked at the girl in front of her. She didn’t seem like a law student, it was not that she really believed in stereotypes, especially not in college but the girl just seemed more like someone who went to an art school or did something with music, something creative. Camila had never been good at guessing those things anyway so she banished this thought of her mind and rather thought about the fact that there was a gorgeous girl sitting across from her.

She had green eyes that were piercing through Camila’s, long black hair and skin like a porcelain doll, with red full lips.

“Cat got your tongue?” The other girl cut her off of her trance.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Camila asked embarrassed, she totally got caught staring.

“What’s your name?”

“Camila” She responded, trying everything to hide that her cheeks were turning red.

“Okay Camila, so what do you have against us law students?” The green-eyed girl wanted to know, she still smiled so Camila hoped that this was just an attempt to make a small talk and not a start for a heated discussion.

“I have nothing against you,” She lied a little, she wasn’t a fan of lawyers but this was more about her parents. “Someone just canceled our plans and now I’m praying that she goes to hell, because she was supposed to help me with my project.”

The girl laughed and it was a sound that made Camila’s heartbeat fasten, she just hadn’t noticed this yet. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”

“It’s fine.” Camila smiled, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time she heard that laugh. “So what’s your name? Or should I keep calling you ‘stupid law student’ because it seems to get your attention?”

There was another laugh. “Oh, so you wanna get my attention, huh?” Camila nodded without thinking, she wasn’t a confident person, but something told her if she didn’t take this chance, she wouldn’t get another one. “I’m Lauren,” She introduced herself. “So what is that project you can’t do without someone as important as me?”

This time it was Camila’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Important as you, wow. Law student and cocky, what a cliché” She chuckled. “It’s just a simple interview about your opinion to some of our 'special’ laws,” She said while forming quotation marks with her fingers. “Interested in helping me out?”

“Why one of us though? I’m pretty sure everyone can tell you that a special law like a person isn’t allowed to cross the state lines of Minnesota with a duck atop of their head is a stupid law.” She stated.

Camila rolled her eyes playfully, with a smile on her face. “Really? That’s a thing?” Lauren nodded. “I guess on my next vacation I’ll go to Minnesota so that I can break this law,” She joked.

“But seriously, I wasn’t talking about these kind of laws,” She answered Lauren’s questions. “And I’m asking one of you because you belong to the people who represent our laws.”

“I see, you’re a criminal. But please don’t get caught until I get my license, it feels like you’d be an interesting first case.” She winked. “Coming back to your question, I’d like to help you out”

They hadn’t even worked on this project for 15 minutes, before they switched the topic and talked about more important things, that were actually relevant. Lauren had more to say than Camila, but she didn’t mind though, she liked to hear what the other girl had to say. She listened closely, watching every time she was gesticulating with her hands because she started talking about something that really passionated her. They stayed there for hours even though it felt like only short minutes. For Camila, a few hours were enough to get drawn by Lauren, so she didn’t wanna leave when the time came.

“I’m sorry,” Camila smiled sadly, when she looked at the time and saw that she had to go and meet her parents, they didn’t like unreliability and she wasn’t at a point where she could disappoint them. “I gotta go.”

“No, I’m sorry! It seems like I wasn’t a great help for your project,” Lauren replied, eyes looking at the laptop Camila had closed, a long time ago.

“You helped me more than you think, Lauren,” She stood up and packed her things. “I really enjoyed listening to you,” She said honestly. “And believe me, I’d stay if I could. But-”

“You can’t.” The green-eyed girl finished her sentence. “It’s probably better, I have to catch up a little since someone thought it’s a good idea to distract me” She smiled, holding up her book.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Camila apologized.

“I’m just teasing,” Lauren told her, with a grin. It was this moment where Camila knew she wouldn’t forget about Lauren, so before she left, she slipped her number under Lauren’s book, hoping that Lauren felt the same as she did.

Lauren answered that same day and Camila couldn’t have been happier. She wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, because she didn’t believe in those things, but she would say that Lauren made it easy for her to fall quickly. Camila was one of those people, who couldn’t tell when someone was flirting with them or just being friendly so she assumed Lauren was being the second. She believed this until Lauren kissed her for the first time, of course, she didn’t expect this move, but it didn’t stop her from kissing Lauren back. It wasn’t a fairytale kiss, but it was perfect with every second that passed by. Camila remembered this kiss like it was her first, and theoretically it was her first kiss, at least the first kiss where she felt like she thought she had to feel when she met the right person. They dated only for a few weeks, before Camila couldn’t hold back the urge to ask Lauren if she wanted to be her girlfriend. It was cheesy when Camila asked her and she was scared that she ruined the moment with one of her corny jokes, but when Lauren kissed her and said yes with a laugh she knew she did everything right. A little time passed by until Lauren wanted to introduce Camila to her parents and although Camila had never been good with parents Lauren’s parents loved her right from the start. Their first problems began only then, when Lauren started asking questions about Camila’s parents. The only things Lauren knew about them is that they lived in New York and the obvious fact that Camila didn’t visit them a lot. Camila had her reasons not to tell Lauren about them, because she knew it wouldn’t change anything and she knew she could never tell them about Lauren, not as long as she depended on them. They weren’t happy when they heard that she didn’t study what they wanted her to, but after a lot of arguing they gave in under some conditions because they knew their daughter was talented and could be successful with everything, as long as she put an effort in it. So Camila had to go Harvard, because of the family’s tradition and she wasn’t even allowed to think about a relationship unless it could be useful for their company in some kind of way, it wouldn’t be the first time but Camila did everything as long as they didn’t hold her back from doing what she loved, writing. Camila hated that her parents were able to cause her and Lauren’s first fight, but she realized it was her own fault when Lauren accused her that she wasn’t serious about them.

“I am serious about us,” She told Lauren, searching for her eyes but Lauren kept looking at the floor. “Please, Lauren,” She begged the other girl. “Look at me!”

Lauren just shook her head. “Camila,” She slowly started. “I’m not forcing you to introduce me to them. I know it’s not easy for everyone to just go up to their parents and say hey that’s my girlfriend. But do I not deserve a reason why? Just something like 'they don’t know I’m gay’ or 'I’m not ready yet’, it’s fine when you’re not ready, okay, but you never said you aren’t and everytime I’m trying to talk with you about them, you just shut me out.”

Camila took a deep breath and sat down on the couch while she played nervously with her hands. “It’s not that I’m not ready, because I am, but they aren’t. Look, my parents are very strict and if they knew I’m in a relationship they’d tell me to end it, but if they knew I was in a relationship with a girl it would end up much more complicated. They’d probably force me to see a doctor because they think I’m sick or even worse, stop paying my bills. I can’t risk that.” She explained everything to Lauren and that was all Lauren needed. She sat down next to Camila and took her hand.

“I’m sorry, Camila.” She apologized and kissed her cheek softly.

They dropped this sensitive topic and Lauren accepted that she wouldn’t meet Camila’s parents anytime soon, but it was okay after Camila explained everything to her, she wasn’t even sure anymore if she really wanted to meet them. It wasn’t until one year later that Camila brought them up on her own. She wanted that they finally get to know Lauren, what they couldn’t know was just the simple fact that Lauren wasn’t a friend, but her girlfriend and that for almost two years now.

They once again wanted Camila to attend a charity gala with them and when Camila asked them whether she could use the opportunity to introduce them to Lauren, of course, they didn’t mind after she mentioned she was a law student in Harvard, Lauren was like the daughter they wanted to have but didn’t get. But the fact that Lauren didn’t know anything about her parent’s remanded so it was time that Camila told her they were very successful lawyers in New York. Not just any lawyers but her mother was the co-founder of Estrabao Pearson, one of the most known law offices there.

Lauren was a nervous wreck when the night came and Camila couldn’t calm her down. Camila thought it was cute, but she knew it wasn’t the right time. It took them both four hours to get ready and two of them were just to make sure that Lauren wouldn’t have another breakdown. Camila’s nerves were only then going crazy when they entered the building where the event took place. She could feel her heartbeat fasten with every step she took, but one look to her left side was enough to ease her. Lauren looked stunning in her black dress and her parents would be impressed once they talked to her and realized that she not just looked good but was smart as well. The main reason why Camila wanted to take Lauren with her was that she wanted her parents to meet her, because Lauren was important to her, the other reason was that she wanted to help Lauren’s career. It wasn’t any of her business, but she wanted to give Lauren an opportunity, it was only Lauren’s decision, whether she took it or not.

They were running late but Camila would take the blame for that. The room was full of people and it took her a little until she could recognize her parents in the crowd. She hated those things when she was younger and sometimes it still felt like all these strange people would trigger her anxiety, and she’d get a panic attack any moment. But she had to get used to it, because her parents simply didn’t care what she had to accept, whether she wanted to or not.

When she finally found them she grabbed Lauren’s hand and went up to them. They were talking to some man in an expensive tuxedo that seemed important, so Camila silently waited behind the man. Her father already noticed them and when his gaze went down to Lauren and Camila’s intertwined hands the smile he wore disappeared until Camila automatically let go and hid her hands behind her back. Her father looked away again and she turned with an apologetical smile to Lauren, who smiled and nodded as a silent “I understand”.

When they were finally done talking and the man disappeared they kissed her daughter’s cheek as a greeting. “Karla, I’m glad you’re here, we already thought you couldn’t make it,” Her mother said with a stern voice.

“I’m sorry we are late, I had a little problem with my dress,” She lied easily and her parents seemed to buy it.

“What did I tell you, dear,” Her mother scowled. “Don’t eat so much. I know you feel like your stomach is like a black hole but if you aren’t careful you’ll look like that too and then of course you’ll get these problems.”

“I’m sorry, ” She said again, holding back an eye-roll. Years ago these words would’ve made her insecure about herself, but by now she was used to it and could ignore it, because she knew her mother was wrong. “Anyway. This is the friend I told you about, Lauren Jauregui.”

She turned to the other girl who looked a little taken aback but brushed it off quickly.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cabello Estrabao,” She greeted them politely and shook their hands. “It’s nice to meet you!”

“'It’s nice to meet you as well!” Camila’s father spoke. “Please call me Alejandro, and my wife Sinuhe,” He smiled friendly and continued without wasting any time. “Camila told us a few things about you.”

“She did?” Lauren asked, confused.

“Yes, she told us a little about your school and things you stood up for in the past,”

For a moment Camila could see how it made click for Lauren and she swore she could see the other girl being hurt, but the look on her face disappeared as quickly as it came. “Well, there are not many ways to change things as just a law student, but everyone has a voice they can and should use,” She told them. “I wanna be a lawyer so I can use my voice to help the guiltless, when their own voice isn’t enough anymore. When people do other people wrong they tend to believe that they did something wrong subconsciously. So they get weaker, they stop offering opposition, they acknowledge defeat and I’ve never been someone who could watch that from the sideline.”

“You have a plan. You know what you do and you know why. I like that.” Sinuhe spoke for the first time. “Why don’t we talk a little more about what will happen after?” The woman offered and Lauren nodded.

Camila knew that look on Lauren’s face, she smiled but it wasn’t sincerely. Lauren didn’t want this evening to go like this and Camila knew it was all her fault but now it was too late and the only thing she could do was standing by Lauren’s side until it was over.

Lauren talked with her parents for what felt like centuries and they only stopped because her father could see an important business partner entering the room.

Camila excused herself and Lauren to the bathroom, and led their way without looking back. “Your friend? You didn’t tell them about us, did you?” Lauren asked when the bathroom door was closed and they made sure no one else was in there.

“Lauren, I’m so sorry. I wanted to, really. But I knew I couldn’t tell them, so I had to find a way how they would want to meet you anyway.”

“It’s fine.” Lauren smiled at her and Camila was surprised that Lauren didn’t seem to mind.

“You aren’t upset?”

Lauren shook her head. “No, you already told me about your parents, so I understand. I appreciate that you wanted to introduce me to them, but you know that you don’t have to right? It felt more like a job interview and I doubt that it was what you wanted.”

“I know.” Camila confirmed. “But I wanted to.” She grabbed Lauren’s face and stroked her cheek. “I love you, Lauren. And I want the whole world to know, believe me. But if I tell my parents now, I’d be a dead girl.” She half-joked. “And it wouldn’t help you. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to meet the amazing person you are though. I know you, Lauren, I know they’ll love you as long as they don’t know you are dating their daughter.”

“But what if I don’t want them to love me without the most important part of me, you. I don’t care who your parents are and whether they can help me or not. What I care about is you, so if you feel ready for telling them, don’t let me stop you. You come first, not my career. I’m not stupid,” She grinned. “I know, you wanted to help me, but that’s not the kind of help I need.” She said, her voice getting softer before she connected their lips.

“Karla!” Her mother called her and ruined their moment when she opened the bathroom’s door. They quickly separated before they could get caught by Camila’s mother and when she saw them they acted like nothing happened.

“Yes, mother?” Camila answered.

“You remember Mr. Bale’s son?” Camila nodded and her mother continued. “He asked about you, don’t you think it would be nice if you danced with him?” Camila knew it was a demand but she couldn’t leave Lauren here by herself while her mother forced her to dance with some guy she barely knew.

“Yes, but I can’t. I-I mean,” She started stuttering after she saw her mother’s face turn dark. “Lauren is my guest and I can’t let her here all-”

“It’s okay,” Lauren cut her off. “I don’t mind it. Maybe your parents and I could use the time to talk about the internship your father mentioned earlier?” Camila’s mother nodded with a satisfied smile and now Camila was sure Lauren could get everything she needed from them when she wanted to.

“Okay, I’ll look for him,” She eventually said, not being happy with what Lauren did, after what Lauren said she knew Lauren wasn’t interested to talk about this with her parents, but she did it for her.

Camila was already on her way to leave the bathroom with her mother when Lauren pulled her back again. She kissed her on the lips, her cheek and her jaw before she whispered. “I don’t care if you dance with some guy, as long as you don’t look at him the way you look at me.” And gave her a last kiss behind her ear, which sent a shiver down her spine. She craved Lauren’s touch the second she lost it, but they couldn’t risk getting caught, so Camila blew her a kiss and left to find Isaac Bale.

When Lauren watched them both getting everyone’s attention because 'they look so good together’ like she heard Sinuhe say. She wasn’t jealous, it wasn’t jealousy, it was envy. Envy, because he could dance with her in front of everyone, something she couldn’t. The only thing that kept her from leaving were Camila’s eyes, that didn’t leave her for a second. She was so in love with this girl, that she didn’t mind getting hurt a little.

The rest of the night wasn’t easy for both of them but at least Lauren got to know Camila’s parents a little. They weren’t too bad, they were passionate about their work but they stood up for the wrong people and last but not least, they didn’t treat Camila like she deserved to.

“Are you okay?” Camila asked when she saw that Lauren was deep in thought.

Lauren turned to her and nodded. “Yes, I am.”

“What did you talk about while I was dancing?” She asked curiously. They didn’t get another chance like they did in the bathroom, so they had to wait until they were sitting in the cab on their way back to their hotel.

“They offered me an internship next summer.”

“And…?” Camila asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I said no,” She told her. “I don’t wanna become a lawyer to save rich peoples’ asses, but to help the people that really need it,” She explained and Camila smiled, she was proud to have someone like Lauren by her side. “Moreover, how can I respect them when they don’t respect something as precious as you?” She added, kissing the back of Camila’s hand.

“Lauren,” Camila whined sheepishly. “Stop!”

Nothing changed for Lauren that night, but for Camila, everything. She realized she could never let Lauren go, she realized Lauren was the one, the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. So when she was finally done with school she gathered all her bravery and told her parents. When she felt her cheek throbbing after the first slap, she thought she made a mistake. When she fell crying to the ground after the fifth, she knew it was the right thing. They didn’t accept the way she was, but Lauren did, Camila knew she’d always be there for her and that was all she needed to be happy.

They were the kind of couple everyone adored and, of course, they had their fights but never anything big. They moved together and things went even better than before, they were a perfect team and for the first time in her life, Camila felt at home. She found a job in Boston and Lauren still went to Uni for another year, but together it wasn’t a problem.

When Lauren graduated summa cum laude she didn’t have a problem finding the job she wanted to. Everything went near to perfect, until Lauren got a case that changed her. She put all her time in it and Camila thought it was crazy that they gave her such a case, considering that she was still inexperienced, but she didn’t say anything because she knew it would only cause a fight. Camila barely knew anything, just that it was about a still 16 years old teenager and Lauren did everything to keep them away from prison. Camila could observe how Lauren got more tense with every passing day and she started getting nervous as well because it became obvious, how important this was for Lauren. When Lauren lost the case Camila wasn’t surprised that she changed, what surprised her was the way she changed. It didn’t suit Lauren to throw everything away because of one defeat. She got quieter and started avoiding Camila, she skipped work until a point where her boss could only fire her and she started going out at night, getting drunk out of her mind until she couldn’t remember her name anymore. It was hard for Camila but she tried to stay strong, for both of them. She believed in Lauren, she knew this was just temporary. But time went on and things just got worse, sometimes Lauren stayed away for the night, sometimes for two and Camila would never know where she was, or what she was doing. Camila tried everything for her possible, but she wasn’t able to help Lauren, and Lauren wouldn’t help herself anytime soon so she could only tell herself she had to be strong for both of them. She hid the pain Lauren caused in her and acted like the tough girl, she actually wasn’t. It went so far that she even asked, or better said begged, her parents to help her, she would’ve done everything for Lauren, but as she already expected they didn’t want to help their daughter’s girlfriend out and she was on her own.

“You’ll find a way to be yourself again, Lauren. I know you will.” She whispered every night and she never lost hope.

Camila laid her phone away when she was done riding down the memory lane and went to the door. It was already quiet again, so she guessed Lauren gave up. She locked open the door and Lauren stumbled in, almost falling to the floor. “Thanks,” She slurred and supported herself against the wall next to the door. She avoided Camila’s eyes once again but Camila didn’t even try to change that, it was hopeless.

“Where have you been?” She asked with sadness in her voice, but Lauren didn’t bother to answer and when she got enough strength she tried to make her way to the bedroom. “Lauren, please!” She begged, her voice showing how desperate she was.

“What Camila?” She answered, stopping in her tracks but not turning around.

“Can you not even answer my question?” She wanted to know.

Lauren gulped and closed her eyes. “I was out,” She said as if it wasn’t obvious for Camila.

The other girl sighed and shook her head. “Alright. If that’s what we have become.”

Lauren felt bad, but her pride told her to just leave her alone for now. She knew when Camila figured out what she did, she would leave her and that scared her, alone the thought of Camila leaving her hurt. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered quietly but Camila heard what she said.

“You aren’t!” She laughed bitterly. “Stop, Lauren. Be at least honest with me, that’s all I’m asking for, or is that already too much?”

“No.” Lauren took a deep breath and tried to go on with her plan until Camila grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. She turned around, ready to listen what the other girl wanted to say.

Instead of saying anything Camila just gave her a soft kiss, of course, she tasted the alcohol on the green-eyed girls’ lips, but she couldn’t help herself, she just missed those lips too much. The way they felt on hers and what they made her feel. It felt always like the first time, even when everything seemed dark.

Camila released Lauren’s lips again and Lauren had no choice but opening her eyes. When their eyes met for the first time in weeks the only thing Camila could do was to slap her and she hoped it was hard enough so that Lauren would never forget it, not even when she woke up with a hangover tomorrow. Camila had seen her in many situations but never like this, eyes red from whatever she took. Camila didn’t even want to know, it had already hurt enough to know that Lauren would do something like that. It was against anything she stood up for and Camila couldn’t understand how she could live like that. “I’m not a fool, Lauren,” She whispered after the other girl looked at her in shock. “You can let me down, you can hurt me but don’t take me for a fool, don’t act like you didn’t know I’d notice that you’re high on whatever.” She hissed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lauren denied pointlessly.

“I asked you to be honest and you’re trying to lie to me, while I can see it in your eyes,” Camila spoke, tears welling in her eyes. “What happened to the girl I met years ago? I adored the person you were and now… you just changed.”

“I didn’t change.”

“Yes, you did!” Camila wasn’t able to hold her emotions back, it became too much after all this time but she couldn’t break down in front of Lauren, she had to stay strong.

“What if I didn’t change? What if you just never noticed that this is how I really am, that this is the real me?” The older girl yelled back and Camila couldn’t believe that she was lying to herself like that.

“Goddammit, wake up Lauren!” She yelled back, with tears in her eyes. “Doing drugs is how you really are? That’s all you’ve got to say? You’re a free person. You aren’t in prison, he is. You can live, you can breathe, you can do what your heart wants, why don’t you do it?” She wanted to know. “You didn’t take this job because you knew you’re gonna be a hero who can save everyone, who isn’t guilty, you took it because you wanted to try your best to help as many people as possible. And you swore you wouldn’t give up without giving everything, so why are you giving up now?”

She looked at Camila with an angry look and opened her mouth, ready to say something, but nothing came out, she just stood there speechless until she couldn’t bear the silence anymore and stormed off to their bedroom. She locked the door behind her and leaned against it after, slowly sliding down to the ground. It was so quiet, that Lauren could hear how Camila did the same on the other side and the reality hit her. She was breaking the other girl’s heart. Something she swore she would never do, Lauren forgot who she was and Camila had to pay for it. It wasn’t the first time she came to the conclusion, but she couldn’t change how she felt, her self-hate became stronger than her love for Camila and it was just a question of time when it would break both of them completely. Lauren never wanted things to go like this, she wanted to fight against it. She loved Camila so much, she was ready to ask her, whether she wanted to marry her because she knew Camila was the love of her life and she wanted to prove her this in every way possible, but now she was just a wreck, ready to give up. Ironically, how she was breaking the only thing that kept her on the ground. Camila was right, she did change and not just a little.

It took Lauren a while until she got enough strength to get up again and open the door, and when she opened it Camila wasn’t sitting in front of it. The girl could feel her heartbeat quicken when she couldn’t see Camila and only relaxed when she saw her laying on the couch, with closed eyes. She must’ve fallen asleep, Lauren thought when she got closer and didn’t see any reaction.

She sat down on the ground and leaned against the couch, she hadn’t been so close to Camila since everything went down. She turned a little so that she could hold Camila’s wrist and check her pulse, just to feel it beat. It was a weird habit but it had never failed to calm her down. Knowing Camila’s heart was beating next to hers was all she ever needed and she hated that she forgot such a thing. When she was done she slid her hand in Camila’s and stroked the back of her hand while closing her eyes, it wasn’t the most comfortable position to fall asleep, but the moment felt so good that she couldn’t help herself.

When Lauren woke up the following morning she wasn’t holding Camila’s hand anymore, what immediately made her panic and she startled up. “Camz?” She called for the other girl.

“I’m here.” She heard her say on her way back to the living room. “I’m right here,” She said a little quieter this time.

She took a seat on the couch and Lauren sat next to her. No one said anything but Lauren was scared she knew what was coming, she had this bad feeling and this feeling was never wrong.

“I tried to tell myself, maybe you’re right,” The younger girl spoke after a few minutes of silence. “That maybe you didn’t change, but the way I see you. I thought about your words over and over again, hoping I’d figure out why you’d say that, but I couldn’t, because you’re wrong, Lauren. You did change so please stop lying to yourself. That’s not you, that’s not the Lauren I met in the coffee shop years ago” She stood up and cleaned her eyes from the last tears she had left from last night.

“Please don’t!” Lauren whispered not brave enough to look up and see how Camila shook her head.

She made a decision and even though it hurt like hell, she knew it was the right thing to do. She loved Lauren more than herself and that’s why she had to let go, they couldn’t break each other. Maybe someday they would have a chance but this wasn’t their someday. “Goodbye, my love,” She whispered into Lauren’s ear and kissed her cheek one last time.

//

Hey guys I hope you enjoyed reading this (: You can find this and my other works on Wattpad as well @Wuskripa