#anyways double trouble amirite?

[sunnysideray]

Funshine Jill save me… Funshine Jill… Save me Funshine Jill…!!!!

(tw: suggestive)

And we can’t forget about Jack!

((unfinished doodle page, I’ll pick it back up tomorrow…))

Anyways current fandom drawing drops for SWWSDJ :) (not sure if I wanna post my older doodles or not.. may go on my other blog.)

[ckhalloween23]

Tis the season of: Witches

I’ve got nothing pithy to say on this October Friday. 

There’s a little over a week left until Halloween proper, and today is a classic!

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, Witches gonna make it double!

Some of them are good, some of them are bad, most of the time they’re just doing their thing (and looking good and goth while doing it). 

And anyway, who would deny a hag a good awful spell or turning all children into mice or... whatever was going on in the Blair Witch Project? Mommy, amirite?

On to some witches:

Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus, The Witch, Witches of Eastwick, The Craft, Suspiria, Paranorman, The Covenant, The Witches, The Last Witch Hunter, The Blair Witch Project, Nanny McPhee, AHS: Coven, Fear Street: 1666, The Wizard of Oz

[knives-out20]

Mistake -  Bobby & The Buddies

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairings: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth, StarBeep, DeepSpace, Platonic!Geep,

Warnings: Swearing, Faggotry, Probably sad, The end is here, Unrealistic timeskipping because Cliff hasn’t physically changed much,

Notes: Finally, the KISS & The Buddies crossover finale is here! We can get back to normal form hereon after, woo! There may or may not be minor references to this series in future Clobby oneshots, but overall, this is it. Ramon Valdovinos is my newest OUATIC OC; faceclaimed by young Benicio Del Toro, he’s The Buddies’ manager. Enjoy!

Bobby poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he, Cliff, and the Buddies looked up at the tall members of KISS. 

For what was probably the last time- ever, or for now, was beyond him. He didn’t wanna think about it.

As long as no one insinuated the first idea (ever) to Beep and Deep, he ought to be fine. 

Bobby felt Cliff put his hand on his shoulder, the man’s touch alone helping him through whatever life was. He looked up at Starchild. “So...this is it, huh?” Bobby rhetorically asked.

Starchild tilted his head from side to side. “For the most part. With our diverging schedules and plans for our bands, we can’t take your band on tour with us. And you can’t take us with you. Besides, you weren’t gonna be our openers forever. The Buddies were bound to get separate attention sooner or later.”

Maria nodded a bit. “Fun while it lasted, though. Didn’t think the seventies could’ve been any better if our bands hadn’t crossed paths.”

“We think so, too” Gene grunted. “That’s one thing we thanked Peter for, before...y’know...”

Maria hummed in understanding, rubbing Frankie’s back.

“You sure we can’t take you guys to Australia with us?” Eric Carr, the new drummer for KISS, spoke up.

Bobby scoffed. “Ramon thinks it’s best for us to start small and work our way up. Around California, then the USA, the continent, and make our way up to a world tour” he explained.

“We’re- We’re not, like, shaming you for jumping onto a world tour, though.” Frankie held his hand sup.

“Fuck knows you guys deserve it” Peep added, eyes shining despite their dark colour.

“Thank you” Starchild smiled.

Cliff had both his hands on Bobby’s shoulders, massaging gently. “Would it make sense to thank you guys for letting Bobby’s band open for you guys these past years...?” He asked. “They were decently popular before you guys, and I feel that you kinda pushed that forward to be even more-so.”

 Starchild nodded, “it kinda would- you’re welcome.”

Bobby glanced up at Cliff, hiding a smile behind Bobby’s brown hair.

Beep, Ace, and Deep had been quiet thus far. Which was new; Ace never shut up whether it be laughing or talking, and Beep ‘n’ Deep were usually the most talkative two in the band.

Beep had his hands behind his back, feet shuffling and shifting in dead silence.

Ace picked at his costume, occasionally patting down his hair and looking up at the ceiling.

Deep held his left upper arm with his right hand, eyes glued down to his beat-up shoes.

The two bands dispersed into their own groups, Beep and Deep separately standing by themselves.

Ace approached Deep, “hey.”

Deep glanced up at him. “Hey.”

Ace cooed softly, using a finger to tilt Deep’s head up. “It’s a wonder how I’m still somehow taller than ya, huh?”

“Man-” Deep swatted his hand away, fighting back a smile. “Shut up.”

Ace trailed his hand down to Deep’s left upper arm, thumb stroking the tattoo he had gotten years back. “I can’t sneak you into any of my luggage, can I?”

“Wish y’could. But I got a double-life here, with the comedy and the band.”

“Yea, I know. I’ll ring your line, though. Through calls and letters and whatever else I can do....a mail carrier pigeon?”

Deep snorted, “you’re unbelievable.”

“Like I haven’t heard you say that enough times already.”

Deep looked up at Ace, gulping.

The corner of Ace’s lips twitched up into a slight, sad grin. “I’ll miss you while we’re down ‘n’ out ‘n’ wherever.”

“I’ll miss you too...What’s gonna happen to us?”

Ace sucked his teeth, emotions unable to hide behind his ghostly-coloured makeup. “No clue, but we’ll manage. Can’t be that hard if we keep in contact like I said earlier.”

“I guess.”

Ace clenched his jaw, thinking of what to say next.

“Think your hair will grow back next time I see ya?”

He giggled, reaching a hand up to feel his now-shorter hair. “Hope so. I know how much you like it long so you could-”

“Ace.”

“I’m joking” Ace winked playfully. “We’ll see. Think you can get it that long?”

“Never in a million years!”

Ace laughed, clapping his hands together.

The only sight Deep could ever want to see, the only one he needed. His finger traced the tattoo on his arm, it was of 'Frehley Forever’ in Ace’s handwriting.

“I’ll see you in time for your birthday, though. In November?”

“Yea.”

“I’ll see you in November” Ace chirped in a sing-song voice, earning an airy chuckle from Deep. “If not, I’ll send some stuff back to ya, a few gifts, maybe. If we’re in Australia still, maybe a kangaroo.”

Deep laughed.

Ace smiled in adoration as he leaned in, softly kissing over the tattoo on Deep’s arm before kissing Deep’s lips themselves. “Love you, Derek.”

“Love you too.” Deep mumbled, his airy chuckle turning into a typical laugh when Ace did what he always did; ruffle Deep’s hair.

Starchild and Beep looked away from the two, and back at one another. 

Beep looked up at Starchild twitching. “Y’gonna miss my tics when you’re away?” He joked.

“More than anything” Starchild played along, Beep’s eyes trailing the outline of the black star around his eye. “I’ll miss you more, in and of itself. Shame you’re not short enough to fit in my jacket and come along with us, eh?”

Beep chortled. “First time I’m too tall for something, I’ll say.”

Starchild cupped Beep’s cheek, soft to the touch. “I’ll try keepin’ in touch. I won’t give up on us if you won’t. But as the Bobby of this band-” the two shared a giggle, “I’ll most likely be distant, literally. It’ll be busy.”

“I never could.” Beep assured him, hands interlocking with Starchild’s bigger ones and giving them quick squeezes. “See if Gene can send over free KISS merchandise” he sarcastically recommended.

“I’ll think about it” Starchild winked. He pulled Beep closer, fingers tracing down Beep’s neck. “I’ll be hot blooded f’you” Starchild referenced.

Beep felt his face flush, knowing what he was referencing.

“Check it and see?”

Beep kissed his teeth, dragging his tongue across his teeth. “I’ve got a fever of a hundred and three.”

Starchild grinned, bringing Beep’s hand up to kiss it, imprinting it with a red lipstick stain.

One Beep wishes he could keep forever. He gestured for Starchild to lean down, pulling him in to imprint the red lipstick over his own lips.

Peep slunk over to Gene, looking all the way up a him. “Gene.” She bowed.

Gene exhaled through his nose. “Peep.” He returned, bowing a bit.

“If you’re gone, who’s gonna protect me from secret serial killers?” Peep inquired.

Gene groaned, shaking his head. “I’m sure your brothers can manage” he shrugged.

“Benji and Derek? Wow, you sure have higher hopes for them, don’t’cha?”

“I don’t see in ‘em what Starchild and Ace see, but, yes.”

“Well, course you don’t. What Starchild and Ace see in ‘em is what you see in Dolly” Peep reminded, though it wasn’t something Gene needed reminding of.

“Y’got that right” Gene nodded. “That aside, you’re a strong lady, Penelope. You’re more than capable of takin’ care of yourself. Ain’t that right? I mean, you’re not so scared o’me anymore, right? That’s a feat.”

Peep lightly punched his arm. “Shut up” he giggled.

Gene smiled down at her, patting the top of her head. “If you’re ever really in so much trouble, I’m sure y’know how to get to me.”

“I do.” Peep smiled. 

Gene grinned. “Y’gonna miss this?” He asked, sticking out his horrifically long tongue.

Peep groaned in fake-disgust, turning away. “Gross, this is a question for Dolly, not me-”

Gene cackled, throwing his head back a bit.

Peep smiled proudly, hands on her hips. Making Gene laugh- or so much as smile- was a rare feat she had only seen Ace achieve thus far (”look! It’s rock and roll!”).

Bobby watched the Sweeneys converse with their government-assigned KISS members (as he liked to joke), gaze flickering to the floor in melancholy.

“You okay, babe?”

Bobby reached a hand up, carefully cupping Cliff’s cheek. He hummed in response. “I dunno when we’re gonna see ‘em again, mango. What if we never have time to hang out again? What if shit goes down and we have to stop hanging up with one of ‘em, or someone breaks up with someone else and it’s all weird?” He inquired. “I dunno, I just...as much as I liked the Buddies being independent, opening for ‘em as cool as hell.”

Cliff kissed Bobby’s palm. “Somethin’ tells me this isn’t the end, Bobby. They may not be your employers or technical-band-mates anymore, but they’re still your friends” he answered, kissing the top of Bobby’s head. “And we know a thing or two about friends, don’t we?”

“All sorts’a stuff.”

“Exactly. We know lots of the outcomes that this friendship with Gene, Peter- uh, Eric now, Paul, and Ace could come to. We’re ready for any of them anyways, amirite?”

“Right.” Bobby had the ghost of a smile on his face as he craned his head up to look at Cliff, though upside down. “God, you’re my religion.”

“Love you too” Cliff purred, kissing Bobby’s nose.

Backtracking to Deep and Ace, Ace’s hand in Deep’s hair. 

Deep glanced down at his watch, literally watching as each second with Ace slipped away. Each of Beep’s seconds with Starchild. Each of Peep’s seconds with Gene. “I just wanna stay here forever.”

“Y’do?” Ace arched a brow.

“‘Cause I know in the mornin’, you’ll be gone. And the morning after  that- rats, then the next ones after that.”

Ace gulped, pulling Deep in and tightly hugging him. “Bring it in, man.”

Deep wrapped his arms around Ace’s neck, a hand in his pitch black, but godly soft hair. “Ace?”

Ace pulled away from the hug, a hand cupping Deep’s cheek. Their noses were inches apart. “Yea?”

Deep glanced down at his tattoo. “Don’t make a mistake outta me, alright?”

Ace fought back a knowing grin, simply nodding. “Never on any planet, baby.”

Beep, meanwhile, bit the edge of his lip. “Starry?”

Starchild looked down at him, “mhm?”

Beep looked at the red lips on his hand. “Don’t make a- make a mistake out of me, alright? Out of, uh, us.”

Starchild’s eyebrows furrowed together a bit. “Y’know how I say I can see into the future, Benji?” 

Beep squinted, confused. “Yea-?”

“I can say for certain that I don’t see that happening.” Starchild chuckled.

Beep slowly smiled, feeling a twinge of relief. “I love you, Starry.”

“Yea, I love you too.”

Peep tilted his head. “Gene, y’better not make a mistake out of our friendship while you’re gone.”

Gene narrowed his eyes. “How could I-?”

“I dunno, but just don’t” Peep shrugged, rolling up an imaginary sleeve.

Gene scoffed, saluting her. “Aye-Aye, Penelope.”

Bobby smiled to himself, Cliff’s hand going up and under his shirt. “I’ll miss ‘em.”

“Yea, me too” Cliff agreed. “But this isn’t the end, remember?”

“Far from it.”

[swordwomansafurry]

Season 4 spoilers~

.

.

.

So Double Trouble, amirite. Like the most chaotic little shit who is oddly sensual and just wants to stir shit up. And seems pretty money driven as they stated and because of where they came from.

So the final betrayal shouldn’t have been that surprising, right? Surely they just turned to the person with the deepest pockets, “the winning side” as they claim.

But I think they had a different reason. They could have turned and offered their services to the rebellion at any point but they didn’t until Catra was at her lowest. Why?

Because Double Trouble cares about Catra. They chose Catra to offer their services, maybe because she was amusing, maybe because the Horde seemed like a good way to get money. Whatever reason Double Trouble started working for Catra, they ended up liking her and caring about her. They take the time to try to make her laugh and reassure her that she’s a bad bitch. Double Trouble noticed that she was losing her grip and found ways to get her to keep it together. (Side note, Im pretty sure Double Trouble is the one person Catra didn’t scare off AND was the only person to make Catra laugh this season)

So what exactly happened to make Double Trouble betray Catra? Two things

1. The tide was changing and the Horde would lose and

2. Catra was a complete mess

So Double Trouble wanted to show Catra what really matters and snap her out of it, to get through to her the way no one else had and spell out all of her toxic behavior and how she had pushed everyone away

(Also remind everyone how gay this show is. Do you realize we didn’t get a real catra vs adora fight this season)

Anyway that’s my rant. To sum up, Double Trouble is a little shit that likes to stir things up for giggles but sincerely seems to care for Catra and tried to show Catra the error of her ways literally

[kameonerd566]

When Double Trouble auditions for Catra and fights Adora they don't say "Hey, Adora" when they first spot her instead they say "Watch the goods!" and that's how u know something's whack before the reveal ;-; but also that means Catra missed Adora's wink and I think about this a lot

Also I'm pretty sure Catra avoided fighting Adora this whole season and that hits different when u realize its probably because its she's afraid to face her in combat after the Portal... :'////////

Another thing that hits different is that she "got the idea from Shadoweaver" for the taser floor because Shadowweaver fkin tased her with it ;-;

Anyways, when's season 5 amirite 😅👉👉

[crescentmoonhills]

A Death’s Life

Ch. 1

23rd of Blood Moon, 768 Lunaris year.

In the ashen desert of the northern eclipse continent in front of two hundred thousand army, a single beautiful lass is standing straight holding a shining sword. The wind blows against her sleek silver hair making it flow beautifully as if the world itself is trying to emphasize her exquisiteness even more. Her body covered in shining white adamant plate armor stood firm against the ground unwavering, unswerving, and unyielding. There the hero, Elena von Dämmerwacht gallantly points her sword forward.

A sword. That’s right, a sword. An elegant double edged sword that looked so beautiful it was as if the day and the night itself resides in its body. A sword that is known all across the eclipse continent for its ability to cut a colossal dragon’s scale as if a hot knife through butter.

The Equinox.

Long ago the humans were plagued by the endless wars against demons and their evil gods. The helpless and powerless humans were trampled and treated as livestock to the demons. In their grieves, they plead to their gods for a salvation.

The gods, Sol and Luna, pitied them and lend the humans a part of their souls in the form of a sword. A sword that could cut even the gods themselves. A sword made in the sole purpose to confer judgement to the gods who had defected from the Astral council. And only those of purest heart could wield it.

And that legendary sword of judgement is pointing towards a tall and slender man riding on top of an ashen horse.

A man wearing a giant white wolf pelt over his shoulders which size clearly disproportional to his body. A great black horn sprouting from the left side of his forehead signifies that he is anything but human. His left arm looks as much as the night skies itself rather than an arm. His tiny face half covered by the wolf pelt looks like nothing but a young child. With only his clear and deep blue eyes visible on his pallid face. The blue eyes that seemed to penetrate the soul itself which is peeking through his unkept pitch black hair looks troubled for some reason.

That man is none other than me.

*time freeze sfx*

That’s right. It’s me. You must be wondering how I got here. Well it all started in summer 19- Psych! You thought I was going to use the overused comedic time freeze intro those western sitcoms and movies often used. Jokes on you, this isn’t western, nor it is a movie...

Sigh~ I should get a life for real.

Yeah, anyway, it might sounds cliched but I’m a reincarnated person. Yep, I died once in a planet called earth and now I reincarnated in another world. I already forgot my pasts for the most parts. It’s been like a couple million years since I’ve been reincarnated so no surprise right.

Oh yeah, I haven’t told you my name yet. I’m Death. Yeah, no kidding. I’m one of those so called evil gods the humans often prattle about. Not that I’ve done anything to them but, I am responsible for the deaths of a lot of people y’know. I am the god of death you know, I mean that’s like literally my job so you can’t blame that on me. But the humans sure thinks otherwise and they dubbed me as one of those evil gods.

So yeah, when a lot of people called you “evil god” it’s no surprise that a hero will come and try to cut your head off of you.

And one of those so called heroes is always some OP cheat people who preach about justice whenever they got the chance. Ironically they never even bothered to hear your opinion on the matter. So much for Justice amirite?

Hmm?

What was that? Oh, you think I’m scared of these heroes?

Nah, it’s just that...

Right, listen here. When you live for like a couple millions of years as an evil god, you’re bound to experience things like these like countless of times. It happens all the time y’know. And the most troublesome part is that they won’t stop. If you kill one another hero will pop out in the next decade or so. So it’s a really troublesome matter to me.

Why won’t they just leave me alone or something?

I’m just doing the task given to me by the council. Why won’t they understand. I mean if you wanted me to quit I would gladly do so. If you’re ok with a bunch of undeads going around on your garden or something then be my guest. I’m literally death. What did they expect when they tried to get rid of me.

Seriously this is ridiculous.

And this girl in front of me. Stop babbling will you. I’m so sick of this that I don’t even have the mood to listen to your lecture about justice and peace. God help us all. Wait, I am a god though. Sigh~

“— and for that purpose you have to pay for your sins and accept the divine judgement sent by the gods delivered with my own hands. May—“

“—the stars of Iustitia lead you to a righteous path in the afterlife.”

Elena’s eyes widened in shock as I said the exact same thing she wanted to say.

I don’t have any precog powers but y’know, the hero’s speech never changes for as long as I can remember it anyway.

“Wait— what?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. I’m sick of hearing the same shit for every single decade. Can we just get this over with already?”

While she seemed confused at my statement she readily assumed her battle stance ready to fight any time.

“Wha— hmph, fine. If that’s what you want then I will gladly serve your judgement you fallen deity.”

“Yeah, you know what? Just tell me what you want and I’ll gladly do it. Just don’t bug me anymore, got that?”

She got even more confused as she realized that I was trying to parley with her instead of fighting her.

“What nonsense are you spouting about? You as the god of death should be dethroned from your kingdom of demons and should be eliminated. For as long as you live you will bring about more deaths to this world. Now that you’ve heard what us humanity wanted there’s no way you’ll agree—“

“Okay then, I agree.” I said boldly.

“Wha—!!” she froze in her place.

“I quit from my job as a god and as the ruler of the eclipse empire. Happy now?”

“You’re lying!! There’s no way you would just agree to that! And I’ve never heard of a god who quit his ‘job as a god’? That’s ridiculous!!!”

As I was getting annoyed by her constant protests I start grabbing my horn.

And I break it off my head.

“Whaaattttt!!!!!” screamed Elena, aaaand she fell to her knees.

“Damn it kinda hurts y’know. Well with this I am no longer the god of death. Now will you let me go?”

Horns signifies a god’s divinity and roles. It might sounds weird for gods to have horns but that’s how it works in this world. As the sun god Sol has four yellow horns, the moon goddess Luna has two grey horns. And I, the death god has a single black horns with red circles around it. Although I only have one horn it was quite a big one among the gods. But yeah it was nothing to brag about.

“You— You? Eh? What just? Why??!!!”

Aah, I seemed to have broken a young girl’s mind. Umm... not in a sexual way please. But hey, she’s the one who told me to quit and she’s the one who got confused. Women. I could never understand them.

“What? You just told me to quit, so I did. And now you’re confused?”

“But I didn’t thought that you would actually quit!! I mean a god quitting that’s just absurd!!”

Yeah, now that I think of it of course she gets confused. I mean anyone will get confused if a god just quit his ‘job’ in front of them. Oh well, after working for a couple millions of years it’s not that weird for someone to quit their job.

“Anyway, I just quit my job so what now? Are you going to let me go or you still planning on fighting me?”

“Hmph, even if you quit that still doesn’t change the fact that you killed countless of people before. And for that you shall be delivered judgement.”

Not going to back down, eh? Elena and the army behind her all puts themselves on guard.

“Sigh~ why won’t they just let me be? Like seriously.”

Elena’s purple clear eyes are focused at me fully intended on taking my life.

“Okay. Do as you wish but know this little girl. I am the god of death if you decided to fight against me...”

I stopped my words and sends a glare through my eyes for some dramatic effects. What? Don’t judge me, it makes threats more you know... threatening.

“A lot of people are going to die y’know.”

Crap, that was so uncool and anticlimactic. So much for dramatic effects, a child won’t even fell for it. Heck, they’ll cringe at it instead.

But then, the hero Elena, and the whole two hundred thousand knights trembled greatly in the spot. It was as if their souls are grasped by Death itself.

Well, they are facing me and I am Death so that’s a bad analogy anyway. But wow, can’t believe it worked.

“Guh— fine, we will return for now. As long as you don’t cause any trouble afterwards, we will not disturb you anymore.”

Ooh, seems like she realized that she and her army are in danger if they continue to antagonize me. Well I don’t want to kill anyone outside of my job so it’s a good thing for me too if they backed down.

“Dämmerritten! We shall return to the capital!”

And just like that they marched back. The lass seemed reluctant to leave me though. But then again, they let me be for once so be it.

Hmm, now that I’ve quit my job, I wonder what should I do?

Well there’s a lot of things I’d like to try out since I’ve came to this world but I’m practically aimless right now. And the other gods will probably hunt me now since I’ve quit my job without even noticing them. But yeah, so be it.

For now, let’s start with being an adventurer, yeah? Yeahh, that sounds fun.

Alright, off to the human world it is.

[alley-cat-sunflower]

Pretending to have been tagged by @yuutolovesturtles​, who left it open-ended, because I just love talking about myself. (Also because I don’t know how to make the font all tiny-like on my own, so I’d like to save this for reference…)

The Last

Drink: Water.

Phone call: My supervisor, nitpicking church bulletin details.

Text message: Received? My mom telling me she was on her way home. Sent? Confirming that I received the message.

Song you listened to: The main battle theme from FFXV: Episode Ignis.

Time you cried: Half of yesterday as well as half the day before.

Have You Ever

Dated someone twice: I don’t really “date” people, but I have had a crush on someone, gotten over it, then decided to give it a try years later anyway.

Kissed someone and regretted it: Not really.

Been cheated on: Not to my knowledge.

Lost someone special: Kinda sorta not really?

Been depressed: Almost all the time. Trying to get better.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never been drunk or even tipsy because I don’t like alcohol enough to drink it fast enough to feel anything. Also, being emetophobic, the possibility of throwing up is one of the main reasons I don’t drink.

3 Favorite Colors

Indigo

Scarlet

Cerulean

In The Last Year Have You

Made new friends: Yes, a couple. Started talking to the best lead at the dance hall, and now we’re pretty close. Had a classmate last semester who showed me more about myself and the world around me, but he’s missing in action at the moment. Working on making friends among other classmates this semester, too.

Laughed until you cried: Yes. I think the last time had something to do with my wonderful and ridiculous boyfriend, but I can’t swear to it.

Found someone was talking about you: Yes…? What does this mean?

Met someone who changed you: Absolutely; the aforementioned classmate.

Found out who your friends are: I guess? Expanded my circle a bit.

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t really use Facebook that often, but considering my boyfriend has one, I’d say so.

How many Facebook friends do you know: Why would I have any FB friends I don’t know?

Do you have any pets: Three cats at my dad’s house.

Do you want to change your name: Not really.

What did you do for your last birthday: Had a minor nervous breakdown, nbd.

What were you doing at midnight last night: Writing things I really, really shouldn’t.

Name something you can’t wait for: Final Fantasy VII Remake!!

When was the last time you saw your mom: Like, a few minutes ago? She just went into the garage to rearrange some stuff.

What are you listening to right now: “Valse di Fantastica” from Final Fantasy XV.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: That’s one of my cousins, so yeah.

Something that is getting on your nerves: Walt Whitman.

Most visited websites: Tumblr, YouTube, various wikis (for research purposes).

Hair color: Brown.

Long or short hair: Long.

Do you have a crush on someone: I’m honestly not sure anymore.

What do you like about yourself: Hard to find anything these days… I guess I like that I’m passionate about things, even if they’re not exactly the ‘right’ things. And I like my writing ability, even if I tend to misuse it.

Blood type: I don’t know, actually.

Nickname: Alley or Alley Cat, in internet circles.

Relationship status: Not sure of the exact parameters as of now, but taken.

Zodiac: Wood Boar with Snake ascendant; double Aquarius with Aries rising.

Pronouns: She/her.

Favorite TV show: I don’t watch a lot of TV… Monty Python’s Flying Circus?

Tattoos: None. Might get the planetary symbol for Uranus someday, though.

Right or left-handed: Right.

Surgery: None to speak of, and I don’t want any either.

Sports: I can’t play any to save my life, but I like watching San Francisco Giants baseball. Except for last year. Last year royally sucked.

Pair of shoes: Like, my favorite? I wear the same damn pair of leather boots every day.

Eating: Just had dinner, courtesy of my mother. Salmon, spinach, and rice with mushrooms.

Drinking: Water. Considering tea, though.

Waiting: For the FFXV Royal Edition content to download so I can face Somnus and learn more Ardyn backstory. I know, I know, I’m trash.

Get married: That’s crossed my mind a lot lately, since I recently wrote a wedding and have a couple more marriage-related fics on the back burner, but… I don’t know. That’s a question for another, less unstable time.

Career: I wanna be an author and/or editor someday. I’d love to be able to make money just writing my stories. The main issue is finding the motivation to write out my original ideas instead of hyperfixating on fandoms…

Which Is Better

Hugs or Kisses: Depends, but I’d say hugs overall since there’s only ever been one person whose kisses I have thoroughly enjoyed.

Lips or Eyes: Eyes, typically.

Shorter or Taller: Not like I have a preference, but a lot of my best friends are tall.

Older or Younger: Doesn’t much matter to me. It seems like most of my inner circle are within a couple years of myself either way.

Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: I don’t pay attention…

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship for sure.

Troublemaker or Hesitant: Bit o’ both. Fuck Mars in Pisces.

Kissed a stranger: Noooooooope.

Drank hard liquor: I don’t like alcohol.

Lost glasses/contact lenses: I can’t fuckin see without ’em, so no.

Turned someone down: Roughly once a year or every couple years, for some reason, but I’ve been fortunate to avoid any… untoward encounters. I don’t go out of the house. I don’t put that much effort into my appearance. I don’t go out of my way to socialize. Where did I go wrong?

Sex on the first date: More like “sex within the first year of dating” amirite? And the answer’s still no. It might’ve edged a bit closer to ‘maybe’ within the first few months of knowing someone else, but idk whether that’s changed or not; haven’t seen him in several weeks.

Broken someone’s heart: I… might have? I don’t think so, though. The people who give me their hearts are pretty resilient. I’m usually able to convince them to give them to me platonically instead, and then we’re all happier.

Had your heart broken: Nope. I have been turned down before, but I’m the only one allowed to break my heart, thank you. It’s easier that way.

Been arrested: God, no. Never even been in legal trouble. *knocks on wood*

Fallen for a friend: Nnnnot really? Normally, they’re fairly new faces. My boyfriend was my friend first, has been for seventeen years, but I didn’t really “fall for” him.

Cried when someone died: Oh yes.

Do You Believe In

Yourself: Now and again.

Miracles: Depends on the definition.

Santa Claus: Not anymore.

Kissing on the first date: I mean, clearly it happens? Just not with me?

Also not tagging anyone, because I am the slayer of tag memes; they always end at my doorstep. But this one was actually really fun, so if you wanna do it, please do and tag me! I’m living proof you can get away with taking someone up on that offer!

[shirtlesssammy]

The End: 5x04 Recap

Welcome to the episode that launched a thousand fanworks! There’s so much hinted and untold story between the present and future in this episode. It’s no wonder it’s a favorite for many people to rewatch, and a popular platform from which to launch stories.

Now:

The brothers are still on their own paths towards the apocalypse, and Dean, done with his super platonic buddy time with Cas, pulls up to a motel to crash for the night. A street preacher pesters Dean about God’s plan. Once in his motel room, Dean chats with Cas about the Colt. Cas has a lead on the gun but Dean needs to sleep. Cas is suspicious. God, he’s cute here.

Dean’s phone rings again. This time it’s Sam. Sam is Lucifer’s vessel. Dean acts indifferent and jaded to their current reality. Sam wants back in. Dean gives Sam his sob story of how they don’t work together - they’re weaker when they’re together; they’re better off apart. He says goodbye to his brother, and any hope of stopping the apocalypse.

The next morning, Dean awakens to a spring mattress under him, no cell coverage, and an eerily empty post-apocalyptic world.

Dean wanders the streets which are dirty, derelict, and devoid of humans. In an alleyway, he finds a little girl and asks, “Are you hurt?”

She’s hurt, but more like hurt in the brain hurt, and she lunges at Dean like a rabid zombie. Dean punches the little girl (and we cheered.) It’s only then that he sees the words “Croatoan” spray painted on a wall.

Just then the local Croatoan street gang makes an appearance. Dean takes off with them in hot pursuit. Dean runs into a fence, his fate seemingly sealed, but unknown forces appear and open gunfire, blasting “Do You Love Me”. (I love this moment - it’s disjointed but so perfect. Dean is completely clueless at this point -- we we are as well. The music and bullets set this odd tone of military bravado in a topsy-turvy world.) Dean escapes through the fence and sees a quarantine sign:

It’s so weird to think that this episode is 3 years in the past! This show! May it last forever!

Dean hotwires a car and as he’s traveling down the road, Zachariah joins him for a little tête-à-tête. Zach gives Dean the low down on the state of the world in 2014 (not as bad as 2017, amirite?). He also tells Dean he’s going to make him marinate in this hellish nightmare for 3 days. He’s going to learn why he needs to say ‘yes’ to Michael.

Dean heads to Bobby’s. It’s dark and deserted, and he finds Bobby’s wheelchair with bullet holes. He jimmies open the fireplace safe and finds a picture of a group of men - Bobby and Cas included - at a Camp Chitaqua. Dean makes it to camp in the blink of a commercial break, and quickly sees the rusted shell of the Impala. “Oh, Baby, no.” He walks to the third lead inanimate object that drove him from point A to point B, and is knocked out from behind - by himself! Dun-dun-dun!

Dean comes to, chained to a post, with Future!Dean watching him, gun trained on him.

Future!Dean wants an explanation - Dean tells him that Zachariah sent him 5 years into the future. Future!Dean demands our Dean to tell him something only he would know. Dean confesses his time with Rhonda Hurley and her infamous pink, satiny panties. Like, this is possibly the most intimate thing we will ever know about Dean. Much has been made of this moment from us, but at this time, between the two Deans, Future!Dean now knows he’s dealing with himself, and all that comes with it. He tells Dean about the spread of the Croatoan virus, and how the world fell apart once the virus spread two years prior. And he tells Dean, “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn’t make it.” They hadn’t talked in 5 years.

Future!Dean needs to make a Target run, so Dean is going to stay nice and hidden away from the gen pop at Camp Chitaqua. Future!Dean should know himself better, as Dean works himself free with minimal effort.

As a newly free Dean wanders the camp, Chuck finds who he thinks is the camp leader and informs Dean of the camp’s dwindling toilet paper supply, and ponders what they should do before wondering if Dean is supposed to be on a mission. Dean gets to dodge that tricky question, but doesn’t dodge a blow from Risa. It appears he spent the night with Jane, despite his “connection” with Risa. And apropos of nothing, Dean asks if Cas is around. Interesting segue, Dean. Chuck will never guess your train of thought because they all know of your “connection” with Cas already.

Dean heads to Cas’s cabin and finds End!Cas in all his drug fueled, hippy-dippy, orgy-leading, non-labelled beauty. I’m hard pressed to choose a favorite version of Cas, but this is the version I find most interesting. Dean’s a bit nonplussed.

Cas picks up that Dean isn’t the Dean from his time (How does he do that if he’s human now. Insert <we just don’t know gif>) Dean asks for his angelic help, but Cas laughs. “What are you, stoned?” Dean wonders.

“Generally, yeah.” Oh Endverse!Cas, never change.

Future!Dean and his errand crew make it back to camp. They break open the celebratory brewskies (ok, there’s still beer in End!verse? How bad can it be?) Future!Dean then pops a bullet in his fellow comrade’s head before Dean’s warning can prevent it. The others in the crew now see two Deans and Future!Dean admits, “it’s a pretty messed up situation we got going.” (I love the meta on this statement being about Dean and Cas. I mean, the camera does pan and focus on Cas after all.)

Dean and Future!Dean face off in the privacy of the meeting cabin. Future!Dean reveals that Yeager was infected with the Croatoan virus and he’d just performed a mercy killing. In fact, Future!Dean contends, his men were probably more freaked out by the Dean double than by Yeager’s death.

Dean apologizes for interfering in his leadership of the camp and they share a drink while Future!Dean reveals details about the mission they’d just been on. He pulls out the Colt from his duffel bag. After five years of searching, he’s finally ready to kill the Devil.

In the planning cabin the head honchos (Future!Dean, Risa, and Castiel) confer about the attack plan. They’re going to bust into Lucifer’s compound and kill him. Risa is particularly snippy and Future!Dean asks if everything’s okay. Dean helpfully says, “We were in Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.”

Yeah.

Future!Dean pushes the attack plan because he knows the whereabouts of Lucifer. He tortured it out of a demon just last week.

Classic Dialogue Alert

Cas: Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.

Dean: Torture? Oh, so, we're torturing again. No, that's good. Classy.

Cas: [laughs]

Future!Dean: [bitchface]

Cas: What? I like past you.

Oh, you guys. This. Scene. People have written hundreds of thousands of words about Castiel’s familiar sass, and Future!Dean’s harsh despair. Fans have wallowed in the agony of Dean’s fall into darkness and Castiel following him - always following him. Cas may be bitter and damaged but he’s still loyally fighting, regardless. Excuse me. I need to go lie down.

Risa and Castiel head off to assemble the assault team while Dean stays behind with Future!Dean. Dean wants to know why he’s going on the offensive with the team. What if he’s killed? Won’t that kill future him too? Future!Dean believes Zachariah is going to protect him and, under pressure, tells Dean about Sam.

“Sam? I thought he was dead,” Dean says.

“Sam didn’t die in Detroit. He said yes.” Future!Dean drops the truth bomb with a snarl. “You need to see it. The whole damn thing so you can do it different.” And Future!Dean’s proposal? Say “yes” to Michael as soon as Dean gets home. He didn’t say yes to Michael, confident that he’d find a better way. But once the world started going to shit and he tried to say yes he discovered that the angels had retreated back to Heaven and humanity was on their own. He begs Dean to learn from his mistakes and say yes. “But you won’t,” he concludes in despair. “‘Cause I didn’t.”

(“There is no free will,” I weep from my pool of tears on the floor.)

Cut to Dean heading toward the trucks alongside Chuck. Chuck advises Dean to hoard toilet paper like it’s gold. This is always the part of The End I have trouble with now because with Season 11 canon layered on top of it, we have God just hanging out at Camp Chitaqua. He might as well be propped up on a chair eating out of a bag of popcorn and watching the fireworks at the end of the world. It always makes me hate Chuck a little bit, whereas before the God revelation he was considerably more sympathetic to me. I suppose I rewatch and mourn the loss of that neurotic, mostly innocent pulp writer. I do like to think that Chuck’s presence might be what kept Camp Chitaqua a safe haven for so many years. They assumed they were lucky but Chuck was doing a little under-the-table god magic in order to live a more comfortable life. (Natasha: Kicks Chuck in the shins anyway.)

Dean drives with Cas to Lucifer’s compound. Cas pops amphetamines and offers some to Dean. “It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe,” he says.

Uh...Dean would really like to know why Cas is suddenly a drug-saturated hippy. Cas tells him that he went mortal. When the angels left Earth and sealed themselves into Heaven his mojo just drained away.

Cas: I'm practically human. I mean, Dean, I'm all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months.

Dean: So, you're human. Well, welcome to the club.

Cas: Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that's just how I roll.

BRB. Just going to be curled up here on the floor for a while, processing and mentally wrapping Cas in a blanket.

Future!Dean lays out the plan. They’re going to storm the facility and shoot the Devil. So...it’s pretty straightforward.

For science

Dean pulls Future!Dean aside and calls him out on the plan beneath the plan. It turns out that most of the team are heading through the front door to kill demons in a big ambush but Dean and Future!Dean are going to sneak around the back to get the jump on Lucifer. Dean’s horrified at this. Is Future!Dean really going to sacrifice his friends so callously? And CAS? Yes, yes he is. Future!Dean bops Dean unconscious before he can tell everyone they’re signed up to be sacrificial lambs.

Dean wakes to the stutter of distant gunfire in the compound. He runs up and sees muzzle  flashes in the windows. Dean rounds a corner and finds his future self in a rose garden. Future!Dean lies on the ground, the Colt just out of reach, and Lucifer’s foot on his neck. As Dean watches, Lucifer (in Sam’s body) snaps Future!Dean’s neck.

Dean’s defiant.

Dean: Go ahead. Kill me.

Lucifer: Kill you? Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?

Samifer apologizes for skeeving out Dean by speaking to him in Sam’s shape. Dean gives Samifer his best bitchface.

Lucifer seems to take offense at Dean’s low opinion of his devilish plan. He’s got a mission, after all.

Lucifer: You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created you. The little hairless apes.

Dean: You’re the same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.

Dean tells Samifer that he’d better kill him now, in the future, because if he ever gets back to his own time then he’ll find a way to kill him.

Lucifer is unbothered by Dean’s vow to kill him. “Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here.” Dean doesn’t want to believe it but a single man tear is still threatening to slip down his face.

Zachariah zaps Dean back to the past just in time. He corners Dean in his motel room and strongly encourages him to say yes to Michael. When Dean still hesitates, he threatens grave injury to Dean once again.

Dean still says no because he is our precious, sweet, strong bean. He learned a lesson from Zachariah’s little future peek...just not the lesson Zach wanted to impart.

Just when Zachariah is closing in, Cas zaps Dean to meet him by the side of the road. They had an appointment, after all.

Under the shelter of Castiel’s gaze, Dean calls Sam and invites him to meet. At their meeting behind some secluded railroad tracks, Dean offers Sam the demon blade and a spot in the Impala once again. He apologizes and admits that he was wrong to push Sam away. “Maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.”

Sam thanks him and the brothers vow to deny the dark future Zachariah projected and make their own future.

Natasha: Lifts head from floor and wipes tears from face. “Good episode, guys. Good episode.”

The Quotes

You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped.

I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.

Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh, nineteen. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.

I got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap.

Why not go get washed up for the orgy?

I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.

Not gonna lie to you. Me and him? Pretty messed up situation we got going.

You ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it is.

Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe.

[tessatechaitea]

Batman #14

Batman? More like Fuckman, amirite?!

Sexay!

Before Catwoman will consent to fuck Batman, she demands that she be free for the night. It's not much to ask for somebody who is going to spend the rest of her life in Blackgate prison. Although it smells like a trap! Cats are tricky and sneaky and manipulative and picky! Don't trust her, Batman! Batman's dick is all, "Trust her, Batman!" Stupid Bat-dick. Always saying the wrong thing.

Gordon is a fucking cockblocking son of a prick.

Batman has been alerted to The Clock King making trouble. But he's not making trouble for Gotham. No, he's got a plan to defeat Batman. I don't get it. Why poke the Batman with your Clock Stick? Criminals should be trying to avoid facing off against Batman. At the very least, by avoiding Batman, they can be assured their health insurance premiums won't be going up next month. But Clock King, being the king of clocks, has figured out how Batman will react to anything he does in the next four hours. Clock King could play chess with Batman and beat him! I know, it seems silly that a guy who is good with clocks somehow, suddenly, has the powers of that guy and his sci-fi science in The Foundation Trilogy. But little does Clock King know that he's already going to face his first Mule: Catwoman! Nerds will get that reference. Bigger nerds will point out how the reference doesn't really make any sense. Give me a break! I haven't read The Foundation Trilogy in thirty years. THIRTY FUCKING YEARS! Batman and Catwoman spend the rest of the night punching criminals in the face instead of fucking. Maybe they fuck between all the punching. Maybe every panel which shows the Bat-Signal going off in the sky is a metaphor for one of them having an orgasm. Maybe the punching is also a metaphor for Batman giving it to Catwoman good! After the punching and Bat-Signals, Catwoman decides it's time for her to get some pleasure.

Oh yeah. These are metaphors alright!

The place Catwoman is breaking into is a place she owns. She steals her own stuffed cat full of diamonds to give to Batman. When she's gone, she won't need them. She wants Batman to build a fuck palace. I mean an orphanage. I don't know how I confused the two types of places, especially since one of them doesn't really exist. After Catwoman tosses the diamonds all over the roof, the actual fuck scene takes place. It's only one page so I could scan it if I wanted to. But I'll just scan a small part of it so that you can really concentrate on the finer details.

I was going to scan the Bat-Signal because I established earlier what that was a metaphor for. But then I thought, "I want to see these two fucking close up and my scanner will magnify the scene!"

The Ranking! +1! How can I keep giving this comic book +1 Rankings every issue?! It's going to be my favorite comic book soon and I'm not sure that's true! I like it a lot. A FUCKING LOT! And I suppose if I eventually declare this comic book better than The Sheriff of Babylon, Tom King probably won't get his feelings hurt. But can I declare it's better than The Flintstones by Mark Russell which I truly adore in so many ways?! Well, thankfully I don't have to worry about that just yet! Speaking of The Sheriff of Babylon, Mitch Gerads did the art on this story! I bet Tom King was all, "This story is about a cat. Those cats in Sheriff were pretty fantastic! I should try to remember what lowly shit artist worked on that with me and get him for this!" And then he did! Great job, Mitch! I appreciate you even if Tom King treats you like garbage which he probably does even outside of my imaginings.