#anyways I'm literally having such a wonderful day (i am lying)

[mwagneto]

hungarian/nomadic magyar tumblr circa 998AD dashboard simulator

🏞️ vándor-ló-979 Follow

not yall still spreading emese's foundation myth??? she literally claims she fucked a bird????? like either she's lying or she cheated and she's trying to cover it up or well. i dont even want to consider the third option

🪺 magánügyek Follow

tengri forbid women do anything???

735 notes

🦅 szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay im sick of the discourse let's do this.

8,572 notes

🐎 istván-rovására Follow

that took so long lmao -> !!!!!!!∧◇ᛏ⋈∧

481 notes

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

i'm so serious rn if you support """istván""" in any way just unfollow and block me. we do NOT need him or his dumbass god and what he's been doing to our people to spread his religion is shameful.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

btw we all know your real name is vajk stop larping as a christian it's EMBARRASSINGGGG

✝️ esztergom-örökké Follow

love seeing my mutuals reblogging this /s anyway op has multiple posts on their blog supporting quartering and human sacrifice. in case you were wondering. anyway stand with István

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

1) we dont even do human sacrifices, are you fucking stupid??? show me ONE post where i talk about that. 2) are you seriously forgetting that your bestie istván LITERALLY QUARTERED HIS UNCLE?????

#sorry to put this dumbass on the dash😭 dont even engage just block them #ur not making it up the tree of life lmao #discourse

3,264 notes

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

friendly reminder that just because you're white passing doesn't mean you're not a real magyar!! people with mixed parents are just as valid <3

🏇 attila-népe Follow

cranky coz ur ancestors decided to mix with the europeans arent you

🧺 lemezelő Follow

isnt your girlfriend literally frankish????

🏇 attila-népe Follow

you had to have done some serious stalking to find that💀 and first of all i didn't have a choice, my parents picked the tribe, and second of all she's not my "girlfriend" i got her via ritual kidnapping (WITH consent. before anyone gets weird)

🌐 a-kiber-kovács Follow

Couldn't you have kidnapped another magyar woman? Or someone from another mongoloid tribe?

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

ohh sure so now human pet guy is gonna chime in to advocate for the kidnapping of our women while being lowkey racist. what are you even doing on nomadblr????

🌅 bolygó-kárpáti Follow

what the fuck happened to my post

19,276 notes

🪔 rakabonciás Follow

for the nth time, you're only a true shaman if you were born with teeth OR with extra fingers OR in the sac. the rest of you are faking & we can tell.

🦅szél-könnyű-szárnyán-szállj Follow

okay people keep spreading this but this is literally just wrong?? like congrats on the 6 fingers op im glad u and Little Golden Father have a special connection (genuinely) but like. táltos and sámán and mágus and garabonciás and javas etc are all different things with completely different requirements and life paths which you should definitely know if you're claiming to be one?? especially since your post says shaman but you're listing the criteria for a táltos, and your username looks like a play on garabonciás so. which is it🤔 maybe get your facts in order before trying to gatekeep

anyway don't listen to op!! your connection to the Upper World is yours alone and you're the best judge of what the Fathers and Mothers want your path in life to be!!

646 notes

🛐 mea-culpa Follow

It breaks my heart that the majority of my people still refuse to see the One True God and insist on sticking to their pagan spirits. I fear that when judgement day comes, we will all be wiped out thanks to their foul godless ways.

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

how tf am i godless when i literally have dozens of gods? little mothers and little fathers are in everything all around us & it must suck ass to live in a world where you're not surrounded by the small gods that inhabit everything. manifesting that the fene and the guta tag team beat your ass tonight

🔅 hadúrsimp Follow

hadúr will literally strike op down personally. he told me himself. whispered it to me sweetly even

🐴 csillagösvény Follow

while i agree with you, i feel like you might also have ulterior motives, nomadblr user hadúrsimp

#but live your truth! doubly so on the posts of these freak repressed bible lovers. meanwhile on the #COOL side of magyarhood we walk around butt ass naked!!! op have fun never experiencing joy ever again tho #discourse

198 notes

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

posting from an alt so i don't get cancelled but lowkey i'm starting to think koppány was right.... maybe this christianity thing isn't gonna work out after all

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

WRONG BLOG

👑 sanctus-stephanus Follow

THIS WAS A JOKE. IGNORE THIS

🪺 magánügyek Follow

ISTVÁN????????????? 💀

[ticklepinions]

So I had a thought talking to a friend

"What is a romantic partner if not a glorified best friend. Cause what people are doing with their shawties (romantic) I'm doing with my homies."

And I really think I ate that

[reinedeslys-central]

"Leo, not to offend you or anything, but I can't see shit."

Leo scoffed. "Wow, must be pretty bad if you, of all people, are swearing. Hey, maybe it's because -" quick as a minx, he shot his hand out and -

"Wha- hey!"

-stole the glasses out of Jason's hands. Which is. Something you never do to people with glasses, seriously, Leo? Glasses are literally everything to people who need them?

"- your glasses are dirty as hell, bless your heart. Let me get that for you." Leo continued, unfazed by Jason's yelp and raised eyebrow at Leo, of all people, cleaning.

But as Leo's perpetually grease-stained fingers gently prodded and turned his glasses, Jason found himself wondering if that was maybe unfair of him.

Calloused, nimble hands danced over the wire frames, before pulling a microfibre cloth (and how surprising was that) out of yet another pocket to erase each smudge with care that not even Jason gave his glasses.

They were lying close enough that Jason could see Leo's hunched shoulder and furrowed brow, the sliver of petal-pink tongue poking through the corner of his mouth as he gave Jason's old, tarnished wire glasses the same attention he'd give any of his newest machines. He was close enough to touch the stray curl that fell across Leo's forehead, that he kept blowing away. Close enough to smell that old smell, of syrup-sweet grease and woodsmoke and water. Close enough to hear Leo's pleased little hum as he inspected the frame a final time before straightening and raising his hands to park them right back on Jason's face.

"Better?" He whispered, and Jason didn't reply. He couldn't.

The stars really were beautiful.

"What did you do to these?" He said, finally. "I've never seen this clearly before. Maybe on new-glasses days, but.."

Leo grinned. Jason looked away.

Time and space might have a shot at diluting that burning of his. There was a reason no one went blind watching the stars. But Jason would never be far enough to escape that smile. Like the stars, like the galaxies above, it was about as inevitable as a supernova.

Leo leaned over. "That's the thing, darlin' -" — and Jason's chest went thump — "I've got it all. Perks of being the one-and-only super-sized McShizzle."

Gods. Maybe Nico was right when he said there was clearly no accounting for taste.

He cleared his throat. "Well, thanks anyway. Just.. give me a little warning next time. I could've decked you for stealing my glasses, y'know."

Leo only laughed and leaned back against their blanket. The light from the waning moon fell across him, highlighting his nosebridge, his half-lidded eyes, the spot where his jeans hitched around his knees in his artless sprawl.

Jason let out a shaky breath, and copied him, reclining to give himself a better chance at drinking in the sky.

The stars were beautiful. That much anyone could admit.

..Leo was the most beautiful of them all.

outtake from 'burning like a glowing star', this new valgrace fic I'm writing. (yes, yes I am borrowing vibes from xdinary heroes. the song is called pluto and you should absolutely listen to it).

more stuff: Writing Directory

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

All the fling posse song snippets are out !!!

👀 The Fling Posse snippets are all out now!! :D Ramuda sounds so happy I cry TwT

Hey! Any thoughts on the Fling Posse solo previews? Love hearing your opinions on the trailers and getting some neat tidbits of insight into the lyrics/motifs.

Thanks for the messages! Let's go check 'em out.

One and Only

(8 seconds in) Ramuda's saying "Let's go" too

(41 seconds in) Ahh!

(48 seconds in) Jesus, Shirai is really pushing his range in this one

(50 seconds in) Self love for Ramuda, hell yeah. Good on him

(End of video) Not a lot to say; I feel like this one was pretty straight-forward. It's Ramuda embracing his personal identity as a unique human being-- LOVE to see it-- which is the culmination of his arc through the series so far. The music itself didn't capture me. I might warm up to it later like I usually do, but Shirai's singing on its own isn't usually my cup of tea. Which is chill; I hope other people like it. The wordplay on "clap your hands (te wo tataite); I want to celebrate [being alive] (tataeteitai)" was neat.

Lies

(Title note) I'm intrigued that the title is in kana instead of kanji, giving it a simple and almost "honest" feel in its simplicity. It's been a hot sec since I've seen Gentarou use that word in writing but iirc he usually uses kanji for it.

(5 seconds in) Loving this piano.

(15 seconds in) A boku-using Gentarou? Bruh.

(35 seconds in) Ohhh I see the point of the kana. The title is the same as a famous Shuntarou Tanikawa poem narrated by a little boy (hence the lack of kanji). Since the song lyrics reference it, here's a quick 'n dirty TL of the poem: Lies I think I'll always tell lies. My mother doesn't, but she's done so before. I think that because I know lying is painful. Even if the things I say are lies, the lying feeling is the truth. There are some truths that can only be told in lies. Even dogs--if they could talk, I think they'd tell lies as well. Even when I tell lies, even when my lies get caught, I don't apologize. I never tell lies just to get out of trouble. (*) Even if no one knows that, I know that, and so here I am, living with my lies. Until I just can't bear to lie any longer, I know I'll lie again and again and all the while long for the truth. (*) Literally, "resolve [the trouble] with apologies" which is why the narrator says he doesn't apologize Anyway, the "Even when I tell lies..." verse sans "and so..." is the opening of this song. Gentarou stops at "Even if no one knows that" and sighs in his second repetition of the verse.

(end of song) Wait, the whole thing is just verses of this poem? This is really cool and artistic (I dig it) but wow, what a choice! Saitou Souma's performance is incredible, and the background music is cool. I don't know how well this would go on a playlist, but I am here for it! ...I'm also wondering what the rights acquisition must have been like. This poem isn't in the JPN public domain yet, right? Hahaha.

God in the Dice

(title note) Fwiw I usually say Dice has "spirits" in his dice; calling them gods is just as valid. That seems to be what this is referring to.

(15 seconds in) Man I love Nozuyama's rapping chops. He delivers every time

(23 seconds in) Going to take this "I don't care" and make it a reaction image. Can't adequately express how much the phrase "Thog don't care" gets me through the day; this is right up there with that

(29 seconds in) It's very, very funny that Gentarou always teases Dice about his lack of vocab when you compare these two songs back to back. Hahaha.

(50 seconds in) Call back to Scramble Gamble with a more positive outlook. I can fuck with that.

(end of song) This one seems very similar to Ramuda's in terms of message (once again, I'm inappropriately amused at the notion of Ramuda and Dice living it up in the booth like "Love yourself...! Respect yourself! Love yourse--" and then it cuts to Gentarou who's got a piano and a Dramatic Poetry Reading and Angst. Well, that's Gentarou's way of loving himself, I suppose) and on the one hand, I am very happy for Dice deciding to live his life his own way, even if it goes against societal values... but I don't know how I feel about indulging in a gambling addiction as a way to explore that. You know? Maybe I'm just going "You don't have to follow societal expectations, but you should follow MY expectations, dammit!" Hahaha. Well....... Do what you gotta do, homie.... I'm reminded of how very 20 Dice is. Very, very 20 y.o. leaving a bad home life. Do what you gotta do....

Well, that's Fling Posse! Very much their usual Fling Posse selves.

[idyllcy]

from one admirer to another : top holiday in your opinion?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as scrambled eggs // leon as christmas

Hi Christmas!

What an interesting name. I don't think many people on this service actually use something that creative. I, for one, just really enjoy having eggs so I'm called scrambled eggs. Though, sometimes the doctor tells me to go easy on them since the cholesterol in the yellows of eggs is HEINOUS for my blood tests. So, alas, I am coping through naming myself all things eggs.

I love Ada Wong. She's my beloved, and if I say I'm her second biggest fan, no one can say they're her first because I am her day ONE you hear me? DAY ONE. I AM HER DAY ONE— okay, I'm sure you're not convinced, but a person can dream. Come on. I've literally already read glhf <3 on ao3 so I'd say we're pretty neck to neck. Also, that fan event and the sticker? Thank you. Going into my phone case like right now.

As for her helicopter shoot, what Ada stan DOESN'T feel some way about it? I, for one, went manic when it came out. It was so bad I was begging for her signature on my magazine and yelled a little when she signed it. No, don't rob me. I live in an apartment with my friend and NO it's not an option to climb to the 17th floor.

History about me... I wonder? I don't do much. Well, a little bit like you, I model a little on the side as well, but only because I'm nepotism-ing my way into the industry through connections. I'm not interested in it as a full-time job, but it's kind of nice being on set and watching how it all goes down. Maybe I'll become a manager? But that's too much work. Honestly, I'd rather just be some weird form of sugar baby except not to an old man and to the people who are trying to get me into the industry. I'd love to just be their bestie who shows the bts of everything. That sounds FUN.

Hm, to speed-answer your questions, my favorite way of having eggs is actually in a nice cheesy omelet or an egg benedict, my favorite holiday (call me biased bc of my bsf) is the dragon boat festival only because those sticky rice zongzi are actually the chinese's greatest gift to man, and I write in my freetime (don't ask what. I know a degen when I see one, and YOU my friend, are no different from me).

Now, to ask you a couple of questions back. What's your favorite way to have eggs? Your fav holiday? Surely it's Christmas? All jokes, of course. How about some life updates? We can be like... besties, except not besties because we don't even know what the other person looks like and for all I know you could be some 60-year-old man who's faking everything through the letter. Just kidding! I'm not lying, so I'm sure you're not either.

I'm attaching a small Ada print I found on my table while digging for pens to write back to you. I hope you like it. I think it's signed by her? But I'm not sure. I think I had her sign two that time... or something. I don't remember.

hope to hear back ? scrambled eggs

You finish the letter and sign, print slipped in as Ada steps out from the shower, towel around her neck as she raises a brow.

"Oh, is that the model penpal service?"

"Yeah." You seal the letter and write in the PO box, humming. "Did you ever use it?"

"No. I only know it because Wesker insisted that I know that the penpal service wasn't actually for finding friends, but getting to know who else in the company shares a passion for the same things. I have you, so I don't need to worry much."

"MARRY ME!" You sob, crying into your hands as Ada rolls her eyes.

"I'm your roommate. Also, that contract you signed as a small-time model prohibits dating."

"I said marry me, not date me." You raise a brow. "Also, I made them scrap that part since I wasn't planning on becoming famous. My contract has a lot more leeway compared to yours."

"I know." Ada sits at her vanity, plugging her hairdryer in as you step behind her, helping her out. "It's a shame you didn't want to become famous."

"There's no point in being famous unless it's for the money. What of that do I need to care about if you're legally obligated to provide for me?"

"Really sucks to be best friends with you." She rolls her eyes, pulling out her phone. "Did you update that chapter yet?"

"No, I was going to update it after your hair."

"What did you write about this time?"

"I'm not telling you because I gotta lock myself in my room when I post it."

"You didn't even ask me any questions this time around." She huffs.

"Mainly because I was gonna write angst again and you hate it when I do that."

"God, you're insufferable."

"Thanks, love you too."

prev letter : masterlist : next letter

[somethingsomethingwords]

Hello y'all. Here's another little thing I wrote. This time it's just dialogue, because why not ig. Lance is not kind to himself in this one, but that's what Fernando is there to do. Enjoy 💜.

"You know I like you, right?"

"... What?"

"You know I like you, right?"

"I mean, I surely hope so after what we have done tonight"

"No, what we do is great, but I like you"

"I'm... really not following"

"Lance, you're not just a pretty face or a bed warmer, you are more to me, yes?"

"Oh, I didn't think..."

"Why, because am the bad guy? Just using the innocent boy?"

"Ok, first of all calm down, I'm anything but innocent. Second, I know how I am. I didn't think anyone would like me"

"Lance, what are you saying?"

"I mean, I have Esteban and Mick, and I have friends, but I never thought you would like me"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Mhhhh, because I'm the spoiler kid who you are literally paid to endure?"

"LANCE, is that how you see me?"

"No, of course no. You are Fernando Alonso, 2 times world champion, hungry and focused and magnificent"

"So, is that how you see yourself?"

"I mean, that's who I am, no?"

"No Lance, not even close. You're wonderful, and full of talent, and kind and brave"

"I don't understand, we are already fucking, so why are you trying to butter me up?

"Cariño, this is not about the bed. This is about who you are"

"Am I not my father's son? Or the kid who gets what he wants easily? They are right about me, you know it"

"No Lance, they don't know the real you. They don't know that every father would do what Lawrence does, if they could. They don't know how hard you work and how hard you are on yourself. They don't know shit. And if you think they do, you also don't know shit"

"Oh and tell me, oh mighty one, what is it that I don't know?"

"You don't realise how lovely you are, and how easy is to love you"

"If I was, there would be proof. But there is none, so..."

"Just because other people are shitty, doesn't mean it's on you"

"Ever considered I am the shitty one?"

"Never, not for one second"

"Why?"

"Because I see you, even when you hide yourself, when you lose yourself, when you don't know anymore. I'm always there"

"You really are, aren't you? But why?"

"Because I love you"

"Don't play with me, Nando. It's one thing to think I have some redeeming qualities, it's another to lie"

"There is nothing to be redeemed. And am not lying"

"I don't believe you"

"You really mean you can't believe me. But that's ok. I am patient. I can wait for you, and in the meantime show my love for you"

"I don't know if I can..."

"Is ok. We have all the time in the world to figure it out, no?"

"Yeah, I guess so"

-

"You know I like you too, right?"

"Mhhh?"

"The other day? We moved past it, but I wanted you to know that I really really like you"

"Ah, is it so?"

"You don't have to be a dick about it. But yeah, I like spending time with you, I like talking with you, I like sleeping with you. Yeah, both ways, not just sex you asshole"

"Wasn't going to say anything"

"Sure you weren't. Anyway, I just wanted to say it explicitly. I like you"

"You are the sweetest, Lancito. Come here, and show me how much"

"Right now it's close to zero"

"Of course it is. What about now?"

"Co... compelling argument. Tell me more?"

"Claro que sí"

-

"So, that was intense"

"Yep"

"...Is it too soon to say I love you"

"Probably, but who cares. Tell me"

"I love you. For a million reasons, but mostly because you are you, and I am who I am"

"M... Would you believe it?"

"What?"

"I love you for the exact same reasons"

[monbons]

WIP Wednesday

Posting actual WIPS on a Wednesday? Imagine that.

As long as we are all baring our hearts on tumblr, I have to admit that I have been struggling to write anything since I wrapped up Eternal Life (back in the first week of April). At first I figured I was simply burnt out since I wrote all 42k words of that fic in just about a month, but given that I've started three separate WIPS since then and made zero progress on any of them, I'm wondering if I am just out of stories. I hate all my words--even though I really love some of these concepts. So, as you may have noticed, I've been distracting myself with sewing projects because good progress is so clearly visible there...

Anywho, to motivate myself, I decided to post a snip of each today and hope that having bits out in the world will motivate me to finish at least ONE of them! All untitled. Set up and snips below the cut.

Very creatively titled "Party Robot," this WIP is a silly/fluffy one-shot inspired by an article I read a while ago about a growing trend in American weddings. This one is the furthest along and will likely see the light of day eventually...

A nervous bounce.  From a robot. I recognize that bounce. “I thought you said Shepard was working tonight.” My voice is tight. “He is.” Bunce replies, similarly strained. “What did you say he does again?” Panic rises in my chest.  “He’s in entertain–”  Whether Bunce trails off or I simply don’t hear the rest is irrelevant because the music has changed from easy dinner instrumentals to much-too-loud techno and the show is clearly starting. As the synths build, driving towards a crescendo, my brain reels with the growing realisation that Simon would never just abandon me at the last minute, would never send me anywhere alone, certainly not my cousin’s gay wedding, which is every kind of milestone given his Old Families lineage and Pitch blood specifically and– “PARTY PEOPLE!” The DJ booms into the mic. “Have the grooms got a treat for you!”

A multi-chapter AU I have lovingly nicknamed "Baz in a Bubble." It is sad and angsty and is proving significantly more difficult to execute (despite having a complete outline) than I once thought it would be. Who could have guessed having one home-bound character would make me too sad to write? Thanks to @thewholelemon and @hushed-chorus who've listened to more than their fair share of my griping about this one. Anyway, here's the first bit of BAZ POV:

There are exactly 297 stars in the sky above me. I count them while lying in my bed every night. They do not twinkle or flicker hello like real stars. Instead, they glow a constant yellowish-green that reminds me of the colour artists always make toxic sludge in the cartoons I grew up watching. It's the colour of superhuman villains and their evil plots. Of poison. Of danger. It's the colour of the plastic star stickers Fiona put up on my ceiling when I was 10 and spent the whole year crying and begging her to go outside. Just once. Just for a minute. Because I was starting to forget what fresh air smelled like or how it felt to have grass prickle against your bare feet or how the stars lit up the night sky in Hampshire. There are no stars in the middle of London. Not outside my window. Not in this room.

And then the WIP I have the least progress on (literally almost nothing) but I so desperately want to write and could really use a thought partner to help me brainstorm/plot/figure out what the hell I'm doing--- a canon divergence where Simon successfully exposes Baz as a vamp and Malcolm steps the fuck up as a father. Here's a bit of Simon POV:

It didn't matter anyway. Pitch Manor was empty. While [the Mage] ranted and raved, I wandered into Baz’s living room. The TV was still on. Peppa the Pig was playing. A half-dressed Barbie was splayed on the couch next to a small bowl of grapes, all cut in half. I picked up the doll and brushed her tangled hair out of her face.  Why didn’t I know Baz had a sister? A family that ate snacks together in front of the TV? Parents who loved him so dearly they fled their whole lives under cover of night? In the days that followed, I sat in meeting after meeting with the Coven, listening to The Mage. He demanded the casting of tracking spells, pushed through more dark creature reforms, and rambled about the miscarriage of justice and the dangers of harbouring monsters.  But Baz wasn’t a monster.  He was just a boy.  A scared boy.  A boy who ran because he wanted to live. 

Anyway...here's to accountability via tumblr. Maybe once I've slept for several weeks and feel more refreshed I won't be so frustrated by every word I know, or more precisely, all the beautiful ones I can’t seem to find…

Thanks for the tag @bookish-bogwitch. Cannot wait to devour the new chapter of BPD!

Hellos and high-fives to all. May your words (and art) be faring better than mine: @raenestee, @cutestkilla, @roomwithanopenfire, @facewithoutheart

@emeryhall, @artsyunderstudy, @aristocratic-otter, @larkral, @rimeswithpurple

@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @shrekgogurt, @blackberrysummerblog, @iamamythologicalcreature

@run-for-chamo-miles, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @arthurkko, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold

@beastmonstertitan, @supercutedinosaurs, @rbkzz, @fiend-for-culture, @theearlgreymage

@brilla-brilla-estrellita, @skeedelvee, @ic3-que3n, @talentpiper11, @ivelovedhimthroughworse

[that-one-paintbrush]

(continuation of this post)

i thought the stuttering thing was hilarious! but what had happened was...i tripped...and i dropped your soul...which i need to recover people...and i got really scared that i would lose my best bud froever...so i took a chunk out of my back and it really hurt and then now youre like that IM SORRY!!!!!!!

Wait- what?!

That.. explains a few things.

That explains a lot of things actually, holy shit??

Anyway, do you know how to turn me back to normal?

wait hold on...*stretches arm into the sky bodaciously* ok i found it *drags paintbrush's soul down cut-ly*

...That's it? That was literally it the whole time-? ...Y'know what, whatever. I'm just glad I can go back to normal.

eat it

...what.

eat the thing paintbrush you know you want to

Fine, whatever.

*Paintbrush eats their soul or something.*

*fart sound effect*

YAYYYY YOURE BACK TO NORMAL!!

Yay! Thanks, Animatic.

no prob, bob!

And uh.. by the way...

what is the up pibblebrush?

I'm honestly impressed you're able to stay- uh, as sane as you can? I mean, I can kinda see why you're so.. violent now.

i try my best! but one of these days im going to snap and i might just kill everyone on the show! but that probably wont happen for a good while!

I hope not.

Also, I saw glimpses of your memories. For some reason.

what

you did?

Uh, yeah...

HOW ARE YOU A PSYCHIC GIVE ME ANSWERS I WANNA BE MAGIC I WANNA TURN PEOPLE INTO HORSERADISHS TOOO!!!

I dunno, you gave me a piece of yourself so I got to see some of your memories?? Also, you're literally more powerful than me, but I digress. Anyways. What I wanted to say was..

*Paintbrush hugs Animatic!*

I'm sorry you went through so much, dude.

GASP!! A WONDERFUL ACT OF FRIENDSHIP!!!!! even though you've just made a horrible mistake, i am very thankful thank you!!! and i have one thing to tell you!

Yeah-?

The ones they say you are without are still there. Open your eyes.

...What?

IT IS NOW MY TIME TO GO! HO HO HO! GOODBYE *scampers off*

[merakiui]

Hello! It is me, the anon that asked where you are in Penacony. I am also Amethyst Anon! I’ve sent ideas and stuff before about other stuff, mostly TWST, through anon cause I’m shy, but I want to be more involved with my blog so here I am off anon :3

Anyways, Sunday has officially rotted my brain. I lost interest in HSR because the Luofu storyline was kinda…meh to me, but seeing all this stuff about Sunday on tumblr made me go 👀 While I did have some things spoiled for me, playing it was still sooooo fun and every time he was on screen I was blushing hehe

Anyways, he has so much yandere potential that I came up with so many ideas that I might (?) want to pursue with writing once I muster up the courage to start writing again (I’ve got a difficult relationship with it rn 😫). I jotted them down in my phone and I just have to share them lest I explode. Dw there won’t be anything that spoils past where you said you’re at!

Okay, so there’s that ability that Halovians have that he referred to as tuning. When he used it to interrogate Aventurine I was scared and horny, and thought about Sunday using it on his darling. I don’t remember exactly how it works so this is at the top of my head but! everyday he’ll ask “Question: do you love me?” and of course you say no. It’s easy to answer that because it’s the truth. But one day when you say “no” you feel a searing pain in your head, like you’re being torn apart, and you’re horrified to realize that for the first time since he used his tuning ability on you, you’re lying. It doesn’t hurt to admit the truth (literally - the pain instantly goes away) but you feel your heart breaking forever…

I think that little diorama of Golden Hour he has in the pavilion technically belongs to every head in the family, but I like to think Sunday is fixated on it the most. Imagine he puts you there as punishment. Okay, you don’t want to spend time with him? (And he has so little free time, how could you be so cruel?) Into the makeshift doll house you go! He’ll loom over you like a giant and you can try to run and hide from his sight, but he can easily pick you up like you’re a little mouse, gently laying you on the palm of your hand. I think he’d like to undress and dress you while you’re so tiny, you’re his little delicate doll >:3c

So the part where the crew win the Soulglad competition and Sunday makes them answer three questions based on his life experiences, I felt like I was being personally targeted 😫 The fact that I had to choose one option or the other, with no room for nuance, and that for the first two I actually AGREED with him made me feel like he was psychologically tormenting me. Self aware Sunday who knows he’s in a video game??? I don’t think he’d need his tuning ability to manipulate you. All he has to do is talk in order to get you questioning yourself.

And perhaps my most unhinged idea…Sunday using tuning to make you cum without even having to touch you :3c

Hehe…those are my thots! I have so much more but they have to do with rest of the Penacony story! Btw the photo of him in the confessional…I instantly saved on my phone. Have you ever seen a man more beautiful?…And I also saved a screen shot of what Himeko said about him…

…Dom!Sunday aksiejskakakwnsnqjnan

( ˶°ㅁ°) !! Amethyst anon, hello!!!!!!! It is lovely to chat with you off anon!! I must thank you for always sending such wonderful thoughts hehe. <3

I am officially trapped in the Sunday pit. It's like Kikuo's Hole-Dwelling, only this is the Sunday-Dwelling, an inescapable pit in which all are destined to love him forever. Every day is Sunday if you're obsessed like me. OTL hsr cooked such an exquisite meal. I fear no character can compete with Sunday,,,, he is perfect. ✨

I'm happy you could enjoy Penacony despite being spoiled! The entirety of the Luofu storyline was spoiled for me, but I still enjoyed it because I got to fight Phantylia. She's so pretty uuwuwaaa. >w< that aside, I was also blushing whenever there was a scene with Sunday. I've taken so many screenshots of him,,, it's crazy how one man can rot my brain so intensely, but this is no different than my adoration for Scara and Azul. orz

The tuning ability AAAAAAAAAAA. That entire scene was so tense. I loved it. Poor Aventurine really didn't stand a chance. T_T Sunday plays 4D chess; it's impossible to beat him. That's such a brilliant idea,,,, Sunday using his tuning ability on you. The way you slowly but surely adopt different thoughts as your brain feels like it's burning. Inevitably, just as birds crash to their deaths, you will love him.

The Golden Hour model..... omg I had the same thought when Aventurine was shrunk and put inside it. Sunday who peers down at you and you're nothing more than a tiny ant from his perspective, perfectly palm-sized. He would treat you like a little doll and put you in all kinds of outfits, and you have no choice but to remain still because he could crush you between two fingers if he so pleases. Maybe he builds a small cage for you so that he can keep you at his bedside when he sleeps. :D

THOSE QUESTIONS!!!! I couldn't believe it, but I was also agreeing with him. It was a moment of, "Hold on. Let him keep talking." When Sunday also said that all days should be rest days (Sundays), I realized he may have been cooking with that one. ;;;;; self-aware Sunday is such a yummy thought... he's not asking the Trailblazer these questions; he's asking you, the person behind the Trailblazer. aaaaa it really is psychological torment. >_<

Tuning to make you cum without even lifting a finger or touching you...... omg that's genius. The way he'd be so coy and self-satisfied,,, smiling at you... maybe even doing that cute, sinister chuckle of his under his breath. He would be so mischievous with that once he realizes just how wonderful it is seeing you come apart from something like this. Sunday who becomes a little too attached to teasing you!!!!

AAAAAA your thoughts are all so scrumptious...... orz orz I'm eating them up like they're to be my last meal. The confessional scene is burned into my brain forever. Even now, I'm still shocked that such a beautiful character like Sunday exists. Nothing can ever surpass the greatness that is the confessional scene and all of Sunday's religious symbolism!!!!! >:D

AND THAT HIMEKO QUOTE!!!!! I also saved it as soon as I read it,,,, the "strong conviction and a desire for dominance." Himeko, you cannot do this to me.... making such an observation like that!!!!! It's dangerous for my heart. (๑﹏๑//) dom Sunday........... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[glatisant-questing]

Heisuke, Sano, and Shinpachi's Stories from the Manyo no Shou Stellaworth Booklet

I have the feeling that Sano's use of the phrase "むさ苦しい" is not a literal remark, but I'm not sure how to translate that sense into English (especially considering Chizuru's response), so I just did a literal translation (in the "my room might be messy" line).

Heisuke's Story

“P-please wait there for just a bit! I’ll clean up the place real quick!”

I stopped Chizuru, who was standing in the hallway, from entering my room before I rushed inside.

(I can’t believe it. I should have cleaned up my room regularly…)

I regretted my everyday habits as I hastily tucked my tabi socks and sword maintenance tools that had been lying around into the corner of my room.

(Not neatly done…but it would take until tomorrow morning for me to do a proper cleaning. This will do for the time being.)

I thought so as I opened the shoji door once again.

“You can come in now, Chizuru. My room’s still a bit messy, but everything happened all of a sudden, so…I hope you don’t mind.”

I said, and invited Chizuru into my room,

Chizuru looked at me nervously.

“…Heisuke-kun, are you sure? It’s totally okay for me to sleep in my own room…”

“No, I can’t let you do that. How can I let you sleep in a room that leaks after all the things that you’ve done for me?”

“But…” 

“So please just wait here while I lay out the futons.”

But Chizuru stepped forward and started laying out the futons by herself.

“H-hey, please let me handle this!”

“It’s okay. It’s me who’s going to trouble you for the night, so please let me do what I can to help.”

She said, and with her usual deftness, she laid out the futons.

Even though the futons are a little apart from each other, seeing them side by side makes me think of something weird.

(What’s on Chizuru’s mind?)

I sneaked a peak at her, but I only caught sight of her glossy black hair and her swan-like neck and quickly looked away.

“Well, then… let’s go to sleep…”

 I tried to phrase it casually because I didn't want her to notice that I cared so much for her, but my tone ended up rising a bit.

 “…Yeah.”

 I thought I saw Chizuru’s cheeks turn slightly red, but maybe it was just my imagination.

 I turned off the light and lay down on the futon in the dark room, but I was wide awake, as if I had already slept for half a day, and I couldn’t fall asleep at all. 

Chizuru was lying on the futon next to me, and before long, I heard her toss and turn.

 (Could it be that she can’t fall asleep either?) 

As I was thinking so––

 “…Thank you for today, Heisuke-kun.” 

I heard her clear voice from the futon next to me, and it made me feel restless. 

“It’s nothing… you don’t have to thank me for anything…”  I said, but the next instant, I secretly regretted that I didn’t say anything more considerate.

But I’m not experienced enough to give a thoughtful reply under circumstances like this. 

(I wonder what Chizuru thinks? Does she feel nervous at all…?) 

As I listened carefully, I heard Chizuru breathing peacefully, and all the tension in my body was gone in an instant.

(She doesn’t even seem to suspect in the slightest that something might happen since I am so nervous…)

I felt that I was wrestling with myself all the while and got a bit frustrated, but…

(…Well, maybe that means she trusts me a lot.) 

I thought so as I turned over lightly to check on the futon next to me. 

I saw Chizuru sleeping with an innocent and baby-like face and I felt an inexplicable sense of relief rising in my heart.

(…I’ll go to sleep, then…)

 I covered myself with the futon again, and fell asleep.

(The end.)

"I never expected things to end up like this. Well, I can’t let her sleep in her room anyway."

I muttered to myself while observing Chizuru, who was standing beside me.

Chizuru was in her nightgown, and her face was all red. She seemed so nervous that she couldn't even blink.

Here's how things ended up like this: Chizuru's room was leaking because of the rain, so it was decided that she should spend the night in some other soldier's room. Souji found it amusing, and he suggested Hijikata's room. Heisuke also volunteered. But in the end, it turned out that she would stay in my room.

"Hey, Chizuru."

When I called out to her, Chizuru looked up at me awkwardly.

"Y-Yes?"

"Don't be so nervous. It's not like I'm going to eat you or anything."

However, I couldn't help but feel guilty at that response.

"I'm sorry. I do understand that. But, um..."

"I know that it's not easy to remain chill under such circumstances. My room might be a bit messy, but it's just for this one night. Please don't feel bothered."

"Messy? It's not that..."

While we were talking, I laid out two futons.

"Is it okay if I turn off the light?"

"Ah... yes, please!"

As I turned off the light, the room plunged into darkness. I closed my eyes, preparing to go to sleep, but...

"Achoo!"

I heard a light sneeze from the adjacent futon.

"Is it too cold? If you're cold, we can switch places."

"No, it's not that. Please don't worry about it."

Chizuru answered, but...

"Nn... achoo!"

I heard another sneeze, and couldn't ignore it any longer. Chizuru's futon was closer to the corridor, and therefore closer to the cold wind that came in from outside the room.

"Alright, let's switch places. Come on, use this futon."

"No, I'm fine...really!"

Chizuru said so. But unfortunately, I'm not the type to back away from my decisions.

"Just come here."

I half-forcefully grabbed Chizuru's wrist to pull her closer, trying to get her to use my futon, but...

"...!"

At that moment, our eyes met.

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she seemed anxious. She was too embarrassed and nervous to speak.

"I'm sorry for being rude. I just couldn't help it because I feel concerned."

"I-It's alright..."

Eventually speaking these words, Chizuru turned bright red and buried herself under the futon.

(...Did I do something wrong?)

I thought to myself, but I didn't feel that I had done anything wrong.

(The expression on Chizuru's face just now... )

Her puppy-like, charming eyes with long eyelashes casting delicate shadows on her cheeks... I couldn't seem to calm down when I thought of them.

(I never thought she could put me in this kind of mood. I always considered her as a child, but it seems that that's not entirely the case.)

I lay down on the futon, thinking that I might not be able to fall asleep tonight after all.

(The end.)

“Shinpachi, don’t you dare do anything weird to Chizuru! If anything bad happens, I won’t let you get away with it!”

“Chizuru, if he does anything to you, just call aloud for help. We’ll be there in a flash.”

Sano and Heisuke babbled whatever was on their mind to Chizuru-chan, who remained stiff and tense.

“I wouldn’t do anything weird to Chizuru-chan, you idiots! Just go back to your rooms, okay?!”

I said that and pushed both of them out of my room. Then I turned back to Chizuru-chan.

"Please forget what those two just said. You are just like my little sister, and I would never do anything weird to you."

"Y-yes, I understand."

Things had come to this for a reason. Chizuru-chan’s room was leaking because of the rain, and she couldn’t sleep there, so it was decided that she should stay in someone else’s room for the night.

As there were several soldiers who volunteered to help, we drew lots by rock-paper-scissors, and it turned out that I was the one to accommodate her for the night.

And then, Sano and Heisuke helped me clean up my messy room. After that, they both left with those ramblings.

“Um…”

“Hm? W-what is it? Chizuru-chan?”

“Can I lay out the futons now?”

“O-oh, sure, go ahead.”

At my answer, she started laying out the futons nimbly.

(Damn it! I should have said, “Let me do it”. She helped me clean up my room too!)

I regretted my words as all the futons were laid out carefully. When I saw the two futons side by side, I couldn't help but think of something that I shouldn't have been thinking.

(What am I even thinking? Calm down, Shinpachi!)

Then I noticed that Chizuru-chan was standing in front of me, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

“…Um, Nagakura-san?”

“Huh? W-what’s up?”

“I’m done laying out the futons…”

“O-oh, right! Then let’s go to sleep!”

I responded, and her shoulders shuddered slightly.

“Ah–no! I don’t mean anything weird by that! Like I said before, you’re…...”

“Y-yes, I know! I’m like your little sister, right?... I know that.”

There seemed to be something strange in her tone.

(With what she just said…she sounded a bit disappointed…or was it just my imagination?)

As I was thinking along these lines...

“…I’m going to sleep now. Would you like to stay up a bit longer, Nagakura-san?”

“N-no! We have to get up early tomorrow, so I’m going to sleep too. Can I turn off the light?”

“Sure, no problem.”

I heard her reply and blew out the light. The room was surrounded by darkness and silence.

I lay down on the futon, but the questions from before kept spinning in my head, and I just couldn't fall asleep.

(I always say that Chizuru-chan is like my little sister, but when I think about it, I don't have any actual sister, and this is the first time I’ve slept with a girl on the futon next to me…)

At that moment, Chizuru-chan turned over on her futon.

“…!”

Even this slight movement was enough to make my heart race.

As I heard the quiet breathing from her futon, I felt relieved and a bit disappointed at the same time.

(But that means she trusts me a lot. In that case, I am responsible for guarding her so as not to go against her trust.)

Listening to her peaceful breathing, I eventually fell asleep.

(The end.)

[that-disabled-princess]

Six Sentence Saturday/Sunday

Time? Don't know her I'm in love with her but right now I am choosing to ignore her. Happy Saturday/Sunday depending on where you are!

So I've had this outline sitting in a doc for literal years--where Simon is melting during a heat wave, so Baz buys a really good AC... and then gets jealous because the AC can cool Simon down and he isn't getting his Simon snuggles. The idea was inspired by this fic, where Simon gets jealous of a heated blanket. I pulled it out today thinking it would be good for @carryon-disability-week! POTSie Simon struggling with heat... oh, yeah. Weather sure is something when you have POTS, huh? (I am currently lying down on the floor wearing my compression socks and with gatorade and salted popcorn as I type this LOL. These next few months are gonna be fun.)

Anyway, here are some sentences I wrote this evening!

“‘M so hot,” [Simon] moans. / “Mmm.” Too hot for my movements to be anything but lazy, I draw my arms in and slide my hands up to squeeze his tits. “Damn right.”

It’s been unbearably hot this past week, and with his specific disability, Simon has virtually been dying. He’s been so dizzy with the heat that he’ll sometimes use one of his crutches around the flat to keep himself steady.

When I come out of the bedroom to see Simon sprawled out in front of the AC for the fifth day in a row, I pout so hard that it catches Simon’s attention.

“I never thought I’d miss you sweating through my clothes,” I mutter.

Simon absolutely uses forearm crutches. They are a wonder for balance. Sometimes when I'm home alone on bad balance days, I use mine around the house haha.

Tagging @bazzybelle @wellbelesbian @hushed-chorus @artsyunderstudy @iamamythologicalcreature @valeffelees @stitchyqueer @run-for-chamo-miles @imagineacoolusername @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @hoothalcyon @tea-brigade @j-nipper-95 and whoever else I'm missing 💖💖

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.58 Still scared

I appreciated her asking, but the question blindsided me and I hesitated to answer. The issues that still haunted me were mine to work through, and I didn't want to burden her with them. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel even the slightest bit of regret. But I couldn't lie to her and say everything was fine. No matter what I wanted or how I presented it, this burden would always inevitably end up at her feet. She had always handled me and my hesitations with grace, but I wished she didn't have to handle them at all.

"I'm going to be honest with you," I said, "but I don't want you to take it personally and think you did something wrong, okay?"

"Of course. Okay."

I inhaled deeply and bared my soul.

"Being here with you gives me so much joy. I am where I want to be. These feelings I have for you...I've been trapped inside myself with them for a while. You forced me to reckon with them in a way that both scared me and freed me. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have concerns."

She nodded slowly, and I feared she still took offense despite my warning.

"You think this is a mistake?" she asked.

"No! Being with you is one of the best decisions I ever made, however scary and unexpected it was. But..."

I had shared many things about my life with Sophia, but I glossed over the painful parts in favor of keeping the mood light and not wanting her to feel sorry for me or whatever women did with men's drama. But I couldn't keep her in the dark forever.

"The thing is," I continued, "My parents are divorced. You know that. What you don't know is how it affected me. I didn't find out why they broke until I was well into my teenage days. I lived nearly my entire childhood wondering what happened and confused about why we couldn't be a family anymore, especially when my parents seemed to get along."

"My mom cheated on my dad for literally no reason. She was in love with another man their entire relationship, even though she said she didn't realize she had feelings for him until right before she cheated. But anyway...I was so devastated by that. Like, I just couldn't picture it. My mom? She was so perfect and magical to me. I just couldn't imagine her hurting my dad like that...hurting me like that..."

"And to be so flippant about it? Who decides to destroy their family like that??"

My face started getting hot, and I couldn't lose my cool, so I took a moment to calm down before continuing my sordid tale.

"Ever since then, bits of information about their relationship and past lives keep coming out here and there, and every time I think it can't get worse, it does. I feel like if this can happen to two people who were very happy and in love, what hope is there for me? I have zero reassurance that I can be happy with someone for the rest of my life."

I took another moment to breathe and reflect on everything I blurted out. If I didn't have Sophia and hadn't committed to being brave, I think my words could have hardened my heart. But I continued.

"My parents started dating, moved in together, and got married within a matter of days. One thing my dad said he would do differently was date longer. We've known each other way longer than my parents did, and even though it feels like we rushed into living together, I know that's not really the case. But I can't deny how familiar this feels. On one hand, I feel like we have a solid foundation and are well on our way to a long, fulfilling life together. But on the other hand, I feel like we're following in my parents' footsteps and are perfectly primed for repeating their mistakes."

"Wow," she said. "You never really told me about their situation. I figured it was just one of those things you didn't like talking about. I had no idea it was that bad."

"Now you understand why it took me so long to ask you out. I wanted to call you so badly immediately after getting home from Mt. Komorebi, but...I just couldn't. This fear paralyzed me. I only recently decided to work toward fighting against it."

"I understand, Luca. Trust me," she said with a little extra something in her voice.

I turned back toward her with my eyebrow raised, but she turned away from me.

"I am all too familiar with what you're going through," she said.

"Yeah?"

She nodded.

"Let's just say...I've been where your dad is..."

The anger that attempted to arise in me earlier returned, and I wanted to know names and addresses. What kind of idiot cheats on a sweet angel like Sophia??

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Yeah, thanks. I've had a lot of time to get over that, but like you, there are certain things I haven't been able to shake. And also like you, I'm working to grow past them. I asked you to live here because I know you're the man for me, and I am the woman for you. I love you, and I want you around. But...there is a tiny voice inside that tells me I need to keep you close so I can watch out for threats. I ignore it because I trust you, but it doesn't go away completely. So...yeah. I know what you're going through."

I completely missed the last part of what she said because my hearted pounded in my chest so loud I couldn't hear a thing when she admitted she loved me. SHE LOVED ME?!! The weight of her admission pressed down on me, filling me with a mix of exhilaration and terror. I wanted to reach out and hold her, to tell her how I felt and say it back, but the fear held me captive. I could share many things with Sophia with ease, but when it came down to exposing the deepest depths of my heart, I freaked out. The words got stuck in a huge knot in my throat. I swallowed a few times, trying to stuff down the fear that tried to choke me, but it prevailed.

"I...I want to say it back. I'm trying to... In my heart, I know that's what I feel, but..."

I longed for the words she deserved to hear to flow effortlessly from my lips, and it pained me to admit I wasn't ready. It hurt so bad I could feel the pressure of tears building up behind my eyes. But I couldn't cry in front of her. Not over this, especially after everything I'd just confessed to her. But she grabbed my hands and caressed them, giving me hope that one day I'd be okay enough to tell her exactly how valued she was.

"Hey...it's okay, Luca. Don't beat yourself up. I said it because I was ready, not because I wanted to hear you say it back. We don't have to be ready at the same time. I agreed with what you said about us rushing. It was a long time coming, but it was sudden no matter how you look at it. You need time to adjust, which was why I asked the question in the first place. Don't rush the process on account of me. When you're ready, you'll say it."

I don't know what I did to make the Watcher deem me worthy of such a woman, but I was eternally grateful.

"I'm glad you understand. You're a real gem and I..."

I tried to ignore her and force myself to say it, but it still wouldn't come out. Instead, I said, "I care about you deeper than I've ever cared about anyone."

She smiled.

"I will take that and cherish it."

Need to catch up? See what you missed or start reading here!

When I moved in Luca, I checked her relationships, whims, etc. to see what I'd be working with. She had the fear of being cheated on! We're still getting to know her, but what do you think?

[vvatchword]

Paradise Lost, Book 2 (Non-Zoot Edition): Sin Addresses Satan; Satan Allies with Chaos

<- Part 2 || Back to the Beginning || Part 4 ->

I'm not zooted for this one, I just want to talk about it.

Keep in mind this is flow-of-consciousness, so I write down exactly what I think, and then later I sometimes discover i am wrong roflll

“O Father, what intends thy hand,” she cried, Against thy only Son? What fury O Son, Possesses thee to bend that mortal Dart Against thy Father’s head? And know’st for whom; For him who sits above and laughs the while At thee ordain’d his drudge, to execute What e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice, bids, His wrath which one day will destroy ye both.”

“To execute/what e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice” is a metal line and she IS NOT LYING

I am continually struck by how all of these characters have not only acknowledged that God cannot be defeated, they’ve always known God couldn’t be defeated. They still fought him anyway. If I were reading this in a less fantastic setting, I would be like: “M-hmm I feel like a few important documents are missing.”

Another interesting trait: all of these characters know the future. Sometimes it’s awkward—for example, they spend most of Book 2 trying to figure out what to do after falling from heaven, then wax eloquent about events that haven’t happened yet.

It’s hard to know how much was intentional here, and how much was just done in the spirit of the thing, but you know that saying: “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”? (2 Peter 3:8) It’s like these characters are not only devil-and-angel at once, but also every form of themselves from beginning to end. They haven’t yet committed horrors on the human race, but they also have. (This is not free will.)

This book makes constant asides as to God’s greatness. Everybody stops to talk him up—and by “everybody,” I mean “every single devil who gets a speech.” We haven’t had a single “good guy” yet: the only glory given to God that has been from a non-devil is Milton himself. While speaking of God, the devils’ tones rarely feel sullen or angry; instead, they feel very rote and matter-of-fact, as though they’re reading lines out of an encyclopedia. This is just the way the world is, and all the characters accept what is natural.

That’s dissonant on multiple levels. First, these devils literally JUST tried to overthrow Heaven (aka the ideal version of the world, the world-as-it-should-be). Second, given how absolutely broken the devils sound when they give their speeches—the ways they attempt to soothe themselves and comprehend their failure, added to their sudden comprehension of time (did eternity need to be invoked in heaven or Paradise until the birth of pain?)—these acknowledgments of God’s superiority ring false, like another scribe popped in and wrote BUT DON’T WORRY—

I’m trying to figure out Milton’s motivations here. Did he want to reassure the reader, the publisher, a religious authority, or himself? Keep in mind this was published back in a day where “freedom of expression” was not a thing.

By invoking the importance of the monarchy over and over, this may be Milton's attempt to say: "Mr. King sir, this is not supposed to be a story about your overthrow. Please do not kill me."

I’ve also started wondering about the political realities of when this was published. This feels extremely Protestant. Hey Wikipedia whaddaya say

[Milton scholar John] Leonard speculates that the English Civil War interrupted Milton's earliest attempts to start his “epic [poem] that would encompass all space and time”.

YEAH THERE IT IS

This book was published in 1667… by Peter Parker. Aw yeah :) With great power comes great abuse :))))

I also didn’t know Milton was freaking blind! You know, that fits; the story’s rhythm begs to be read out loud. I love the imagery that painters came up with: Milton dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters. I don’t know that this actually happened, but it’s kinda cool. Sounds like a callback to Homer so I’m a little wary—you know how people are.

Milton Dictating to His Daughter, Henry Fuseli (1794)

I bet this is exactly how he looked too.

HEEEGUUUGGHRRRHHHHH

Also, I just discovered that CS Lewis wrote a preface to Paradise Lost. I adored him as a child. I’m definitely reading that at some point.

Anyway, want to go back to reading Paradise Lost? I DO. Remember where we were? The snake-assed lady whose vagine is a Cerberi doghouse? Well, the devil asks who she and this Dart-wielding shade are…

Without research, I’m guessing the “dart” is a spear. The other option is an arrow, which sounds significantly less dangerous, and no bow is mentioned. I mean, you can still stab someone to death with an arrow, it just seems kinda silly. It’s like running at someone and jamming a bullet into their eye.

Of course, it may be meant to be an arrow. There’s a famous image in Revelations I can’t stop thinking about: the white horseman (commonly interpreted as Jesus—Revelation 6:2) comes out with a bow, but no arrows or quiver.

Holy shit, if you put Jesus and Death together you get a bow and an arrow and the arrow is death

I’m just kidding please ignore everything I say

[The devil asks: who the fuck are you guys and why are you calling me father?] T’ whom thus the Portress of Hell Gate reply’d: “Hast thou forgot me then, and do I seem Now in thine eye so foul, once deem’d so fair In Heav’n, when at th’ Assembly, and in sight Of all the Seraphim with thee combin’d In bold conspiracy against Heav’n’s King, All on a sudden miserable pain Surpris’d thee, dim thine eyes, and dizzy swum In darkness, while thy head flames thick and fast Threw forth, ’til on the left side op’ning wide, Likest to thee in shape and count’nance bright, Then shining heav’nly fair, a Goddess arm’d Out of thy head I sprung: amazement seiz’d All th’ Host of Heav’n; back they recoil’d afraid At first, and call’d me Sin, and for a Sign Portentous held me…

Suddenly, allegory!

I’ve been researching allegory lately—not well, and piecemeal—but I’ve been interested in its function, as well as what makes a good allegory and what makes a bad one. Now, before this point, I would have said that an allegory encloses the entire narrative, not just a part of it. But here we have traditional characters (Satan, Beelzebub, etc), all of whom Milton intended as representations of real spiritual beings, and all of a sudden: the allegorical representations of Sin and Death. They are not just characters, they are concepts—and yet I’d say they belong here. I feel like I can almost put a finger on why…

Was Milton a Biblical literalist? I really don’t know. There are most likely cultural and historical differences I’m missing here. I’m sure that, if Milton were a literalist, it would not be like that of the evangelicals we see today. Evangelical literalism is a particularly stupid, flat kind, and I’m not sure it was that simple back in 1660s England.

Another neat little factoid: a lot of Paradise Lost heralds back to the epic poetry of the Greeks and Romans, right? Who else sprang fully-formed from a forehead? Athena from Zeus! So this is a great callback and recontextualizing of an old myth, setting Lucifer on par with The Rapist King.

One big theme of Book 1’s was that all the other gods of the world are demons—every one of them. So Sin popping out, appearing godlike—for a moment, just like Satan himself—is a hell of a backslap. Athena was a virgin god of wisdom. You’re about to see what happens to Sin (hint: she’s a ho)

I suppose it is also possible that this is an attempt of Milton’s to represent an evolution of theology. Speaking of CS Lewis: Lewis believed that all Classical myth was composed of spiritual half-truths—like the ancient pagan faiths of the improperly-godded Classical peoples were reaching for that absolute truth of Christ, and were unable to because he hadn’t been born yet. According to Lewis, all these old faiths would ultimately be brought together under the umbrella of the Christian God’s single one. It’s one reason why Chronicles of Narnia is full of mythological beasts particular to the Greeks and Romans.

What do you mean, “what about the Jews? Weren’t the Jews around in ancient Rome? And at the time of ancient Greece for that matter?” Girl I don’t remember it’s been a minute and this is just me talking shit into the ether and I’m not even zooted right now

“…but familiar grown, I pleas’d, and with attractive graces won The most averse, thee chiefly, who full oft Thyself in me thy perfect image viewing Becam’st enamour’d, and such joy thou took’st With me in secret, that my womb conceiv’d A growing burden.

“Proshippers DNI/Sinatan shippers DNI”

Can we please appreciate “my womb conceiv’d/a growing burden.” That’s so pretty.

“Meanwhile War arose, And fields were fought in Heav’n; wherein remain’d (For what could else) to our Almighty Foe Clear Victory, to our part loss and rout Through all the Empyrean…

Back to the devil and his minions throwing in little asides about how great God is. Does this feel weird to you, too? It’s disingenuous. Every time you’re just about to accept the demons and hell-born as characters with full interior worlds, they give up on themselves. Characters should be selfish, self-oriented, self-protective. These characters keep stopping to bare their throats.

So why did these demons turn against God if they knew they were going to fail?

I mention this because Paradise Lost waffles about “free will” a lot. At first, I thought the devil mentioned “free choice” because “choice” was an inherently fallen concept, but then I remembered that Adam has a whole conversation with an angel and “free will” is uttered as a benefit.

Here’s a fun verse—one of many, they’re everywhere—that Milton was probably trying to invoke:

The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, even the wicked for the day of evil. Proverbs 16:4

That’s very cool. thanks God. Hey free will isn’t free if you brutally punish anyone who sticks a toe out of your arbitrary line you fucking asshole

“…down they fell Driv’n headlong from the Pitch of Heaven, down Into this Deep…

If you repeat this line out loud, it will heal you of all wounds. How do poets talk about this shit properly? I don’t have the language to describe why it’s good. It hurts, it’s so tasty. I started salivating like this was a delicious cookie. That delicious alliteration. Those hard d’s. HEA(D)long, then HEA(V)en. Soft f’s (fell, from). “Driv’n”, then “Heaven.” “Down” repeated twice, both times beginning a phrase. Long phrase, short phrase—the long fall, the hard stop; hard “d” to soft “v.” You can feel the drop.

I don’t know how to explain this so say it out loud ok

“…and in the general fall I also; at which time this powerful Key Into my hand was giv’n, with charge to keep These Gates for ever shut, which none can pass Without my op’ning.”

A woman who is also an opening. That’s really neat. Oh shit Jesus knocks down the gates of hell, right? Does this imply yet more rape or… yeeeeahhhhhh

Again, I’m struck by how the wicked are the tools of God as soon as the angels are. Why does Sin have to keep this key? What stops her from tossing that shit away? What stops her from opening the gates of Hell and leaving?

The glib answer is, “God does.” However, this wouldn’t be completely fair to say. Allegorical limitations apply here: Sin is not a full character.

Now, as Sin is a concept in this case, it’s like she’s transformed Satan into an allegorical concept by proxy: only by Sin might we allow Satan in. Nice.

It’s like… a tiny allegorical universe for a moment. A wee allegorical nugget.

“Pensive here I sat Alone, but long I sat not, ’til my womb Pregnant by thee, and now excessive grown Prodigious motion felt and rueful throes.

No. No I hate this. Stop

“At last this odious offspring whom thou seest Thine own begotten, breaking violent way Tore through my entrails…

remember Alien? Unfortunate

“…that with fear and pain Distorted, all my nether shape thus grew Transform’d: but he my inbred enemy…

I know we’re very grossed out but can we appreciate this use of the word “inbred” for a moment

“Forth issu’d, brandishing his fatal Dart Made to destroy: I fled, and cri’d out ‘Death’; Hell trembl’d at the hideous Name, and sigh’d From all her Caves, and back resounded ‘Death.’

Remember the “execrable shape” and the “miscreated Front”? I laughed about it, but Milton was being literal: what else could the devil say about Death? Death is a haze without meaningful form. Death can take whatever form he needs to do what he must. And, in this case, Death is greater than his father. He’s an anti-Jesus.

I also love the use of echo. The feeling of resignation and acceptance… just mwah, mwah.

“I fled, but he pursu’d (though more, it seems, Inflam’d with lust than rage) and swifter far, Me overtook—his mother!—all dismayed, And in embraces forcible and foul Engend’ring with me, of that rape begot These yelling Monsters that with ceaseless cry Surround me, as thou sawst, hourly conceiv’d And hourly born…”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Noooooo

So for the record, this is Death repeatedly raping Sin, who then gives birth to dogs on the hour, every hour, for the rest of eternity. Why dogs? Because nobody wants that.

Let’s take a step back from the allegory for a second, because we can. What did Sin do that was wrong? She was literally formed without choice. She had no choice in her nature and she had no choice in what happened to her. It’s debatable she wanted to fuck Satan. It is possible she did nothing but be born and ravished.

Yes I know she’s a concept, but she’s also playing a character here. If you didn’t want me to feel sorry for Sin you shouldn’t have made her a person. Also, the way Sin is being treated is considered an acceptable punishment. The devil characters, who can be treated purely as characters, are being punished by Milton in what he perceives as acceptable ways, and it’s arguable his audience would think similarly.

If God can treat the devils like this, there's no reason he can't treat us like this.

God is a fucking monster y’all. He’s the equivalent of every redneck who fantasizes about killing an Evildoer. Except then he MADE the Evildoer so he could purposely kill them. Worse than that: he made the Evildoer so he could make them suffer.

You ever see someone write so well they fuck up their own propaganda

“…with sorrow infinite To me, for when they list into the womb That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw My bowels, their repast; then burst forth Afresh with conscious terrors vex me ’round, That rest or intermission none I find.

Heeeyyyy are you supposed to feel sorry for Sin?

According to a quote of CS Lewis’ (from Wikipedia. Again, I’m not trying to do a great job here, I’m just fucking around, who even gives a shit), contemporaries of Paradise Lost would have known there were moments they were Supposed to Feel Certain Things, and that the Devil would be considered Bad right away, without any character-building whatsoever.

This is absolutely true. I’m coming to this slow realization that Paradise Lost exhibits traits of both modern narratives—where a character’s quality is SHOWN by their behavior, which includes their dialogue, which may not be trustworthy—and those of allegories, an older literary form. Allegories of the old days were far more straightforward, with characters written to be as one-dimensional and obvious as possible. Nobody wanted to be misunderstood.

However, this is also such a tone-deaf and willfully stupid take that I reject it in part. Look, Lewis was smart, but he would twist himself into a pretzel before he’d admit God could be a fucker: contemporary readers of this book definitely had problems with the devil’s part, and the devil’s complex qualities are part of the book’s draw. I’d argue that the devil is probably the only reason we’re still talking about Paradise Lost today—plenty of good shit was being written back in Milton’s day, and you have to dig to find it. Why did Paradise Lost not fall into a dark pit where only researchers go? It’s not because its first readers decided altogether to read it in a single manner most pleasing.

People are not monoliths guys. Movements are born and slow evolutions turned.

“Before mine eyes in opposition sits Grim Death my Son and foe, who sets them on, And me his Parent would full soon devour For want of other prey, but that he knows His end with mine involv’d; and knows that I Should prove a bitter Morsel, and his bane, When ever that shall be; so Fate pronounc’d.

This is simultaneously horrible, beautiful, and the most metal thing I’ve ever read.

Sin’s longing for cannibalism is the first overt sign of her interior monstrousness (unless she desired the incest, anyway).

This is a reminder to me that to appear ugly or distasteful was often used as a sign in old literature that someone is trash. It’s not a new concept. People confuse personal discomfort with truth all the time.

I am also reminded of the qualities of old allegorical literature. Dialogue wasn’t used to expand on a character’s inner world—it was used like an encyclopedia entry, to deliver clearcut information. The character was not a person, the character was a concept, and nobody was confused about that.

I just had an interesting thought: does Paradise Lost represent a kind of middle ground between older allegorical works and more modern character-driven works?

Wait, if she wishes she could eat Death, why did she stop him from fighting Satan

I mean, Death would win, but… I don’t know. A slave to the narrative? Yeah, probably an allegorical limitation. Allegorical symbols can’t break character or they cease being allegorical. This is one of their major limitations and it’s why writing an allegory that isn’t hamfisted is like scooping your eyes out with hot spoons. I’m starting to see how it’s unwise to just throw a random allegorical character in with a bunch of Normies: first, because they’re limited; they often can’t act like people. Second, what does that say about the rest of the narrative? It opens a can of worms. The artificial limitations of the devils suddenly becomes suspect. The allegory struggles to stretch beyond its tiny nugget prison.

“But thou O Father, I forewarn thee, shun His deadly arrow…”

Oh… ok :(

goofy-ass specter running at the devil with a goddamn arrow

I mean, it’ll work.

“…neither vainly hope To be invulnerable in those bright Arms, Though temper’d heav’nly, for that mortal dint, Save he who reigns above, none can resist.”

Every now and then, you get a hint as to how a word has evolved. Today, we think of “arms” as weaponry; here, Milton uses it to refer to “armor.” As for “dint”, it could go either as “blow, stroke” (the archaic reading, according to my dictionary) or as “force, power.” Also according to my dictionary, this is where “dent” came from (take this with a grain of salt lol).

I don’t know, it’s very cool.

She finish’d, and the subtle Fiend his lore Soon learned, now milder, and thus answer’d smooth.

I love the current-day connotations of the word “lore.” It makes this kind of funny.

Reading on, I’m honestly not sure if he believes Sin or not. You think you’d remembering fucking your brainchild. Then again, this is Hell; the characters exist in a weird between place. It’s possible that in the spirit world, concepts can be people… perhaps the nature of the spiritual is its adherence to the ideal (both ideal Wickedness and Holiness).

What makes this even harder to understand is: where does Milton intend for double-meaning and earnestness to reside? I ask because it was the style of allegories and parables to be rather straight-forward, as Lewis said. But these characters are sometimes almost modern, with clear snark and ulterior motives.

“Dear Daughter, since thou claim’st me for thy Sire, And my fair Son here showst me, the dear pledge Of dalliance had with thee in Heav’n, and joys Then sweet, now sad to mention, through dire change Befall’n us unforeseen, unthought of,

Smooth.

“…know I come no enemy, but to set free From out this dark and dismal house of pain,

Wait a minute. Is this where House of Pain got their name. IS THIS WHERE HOUSE OF PAIN

(I looked it up. It’s from HG Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, which is just as weird.)

“Both him and thee, and all the heav’nly Host Of Spirits that in our just pretenses arm’d Fell with us from on high: from them I go This uncouth errand sole, with lonely steps to tread Th’ unfounded deep, and through the void immense To search with wand’ring quest…

“From there I go—this uncouth errand sole,” is what I’ll say when I’m heading out on errands from now on.

“…a place foretold Should be, and, by concurring signs, ere now Created vast and round, a place of bliss In the Purlieus of Heav’n…

I had to look up a word. “Purlieu” means “the ground on the edges of a forest, especially when partly subject to the same forest laws concerning game hunting, etc” or “the outskirts of any place; an adjacent district; the environs or neighborhood.”

I really like the implication of “at the edge of law.” That’s what God keeps coming down to—that’s what the book keeps coming back to: the battle between law and anarchy.

“…and therein plac’d A race of upstart Creatures…

fuck yeah. fuck you satan

“…to supply Perhaps our vacant room, though more remov’d, Least Heav’n surcharg’d with potent multitude Might hap to move new broiles…

I had to look up “broiles,” and in the process, discovered what may be the best dictionary of all time: Shakespeare’s Words.

“Broil” once meant “turmoil, confused fighting, battle.”

“…be this or aught Then this more secret now design’d, I haste To know, and this once known, shall soon return, And bring ye to the place where Thou and Death Shall dwell at ease…”

This section is so delicious.

First, Satan is schmoozing, 1000%. We only know this because he first talked shit to Death and Sin, and has now changed his tune. That said, it’s wildly unclear what his motivations are, half because he’s talking to literal allegorical figures. Once allegories get involved, they are stringently policed: neither Sin nor Death can be surprising to us. They will exhibit all the traits of their counterparts as understood by Milton’s version of Protestant Christianity. Their purpose is edification and education. An allegory is an encyclopedic entry given flesh.

Second, for what purpose does Satan offer these things? To pay them off? Probably. Does he offer them because he has grown a heart? No, probably not. Is he just offering what these characters want to hear? Probably. But, as you’ll soon see, he’s not lying. Does he know he’s not lying?

“…and up and down unseen Wing silently the buxom Air…

“Buxom” used to mean “lively, cheerful, bright,” not BIG OL TITTIES

“…embalm’d With odors; there ye shall be fed and fill’d Immeasurably, all things shall be your prey.”

We know, because we are inundated with Christianity in this country, that he’s telling the truth. He’s explaining that once Sin and Death are free, they’ll be free to feed on the Earth.

Is he telling what he perceives as truth, or is he promising pie in the sky?

If we were to be blitheringly flat, like Lewis, we’d recognize Satan’s speech as literal: he’s offering a promise he can keep; he understands what is going to happen before it ever happens. But because he’s complex, and started off his speech with flattery, I’m also not completely sure—I can only know by reading on and finding out if he spoke the truth.

Of equal interest: Satan is also doing right by his baby mama and weird fucking son. Sure, he’s talking shit, but he’s also taking responsibility.

Just. Kinda weird situation all told.

He ceas’d, for both seem’d highly pleas’d, and Death Grinn’d horrible a ghastly smile, to hear His famine should be fill’d, and blest his maw Destin’d to that good hour…

God I love this description. I love how Death contains “famine”, how he blesses his empty throat with promises of glut.

…no less rejoic’d His mother bad, and thus bespake her Sire. “The key of this infernal Pit by due, And by command of Heav’n’s all-powerful King I keep, by him forbidden to unlock These Adamantine Gates; against all force Death ready stands to interpose his dart, Fearless to be o’ermatched by living might.

One guy with one arrow versus everybody.

It’s all right, tell me how it goes

“But what owe I to his commands above Who hates me, and hath hither thrust me down Into this gloom of Tartarus profound, To sit in hateful Office here confin’d, Inhabitant of Heav’n, and heav’nly-born, Here in perpetual agony and pain, With terrors and with clamors compass’d round Of mine own brood, that on my bowels feed…

OH MY GOD SHE’S DOING IT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

On that note: are you saying. That if God had maybe. Not been incredibly cruel to Sin. We may not have had Sin

Lewis would say something about how Sin had made her choice, and about how the brutalities wreaked against her were her own fault somehow, and that her nature was inherently wicked, so she would be wicked even when shown mercy. Then he'd end up with "it's an allegory anyway"

The problem with this is a) Christianity is about forgiving people who have committed some real humdingers, so this is logically dissonant, and b) so far, God hasn’t just punished: he has been nasty and cruel. The only love I have seen is between devils. If this is propaganda for God it’s not doing a very good job

“Thou art my Father, thou my Author, thou My being gav’st me; whom should I obey But thee, whom follow? Thou wilt bring me soon To that new world of light and bliss, among The Gods who live at ease, where I shall Reign At thy right hand voluptuous, as beseems Thy daughter and thy darling, without end.”

YES

Kinda weird but YES

Don’t take shit from that asshole lady he sucks

Thus saying, from her side the fatal Key, Sad instrument of all our woe, she took; And towards the Gate rolling her bestial train, Forthwith the huge Portcullis high up drew, Which but her self not all the Stygian powers Could once have moved… …So wide they stood, and like a Furnace mouth Cast forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame.

I just wanted to share this for the imagery. I love the imagery of a beautiful woman on a serpent’s tail, slipping slimy and bloody over the black earth, her body broken open in a hundred places where her hungry young have burst forth, and all around her the hellhounds loping. Then you can just feel the gates of Hell open and all I can think of is how I feel when I open the front door on a haboob.

“Redound” means “to fall out, contribute, turn out.”

Before their eyes in sudden view appear The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark Illimitable Ocean without bound, Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height, And time and place are lost; where eldest Night And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal Anarchy, amidst the noise Of endless wars and by confusion stand.

Most of what I’m sharing here, I just LIKE. I like the image of Chaos and void. I love how it dwarfs Lucifer. I can feel the wind surging from that hot black egress. It probably switches back on itself—in direction, in temperature, in violence.

Also, I can't stop remembering that weird starlit void lurking below the surface world of Elden Ring.

...Into this wild Abyss, The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, But all these in their pregnant causes mix’d Confus’dly, and which thus must ever fight, Unless th’ Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds, Into this wild Abyss the wary fiend Stood on the brink of Hell and look’d a while, Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith He had to cross.

“Frith” is an ancient word for “estuary.”

His Dark Materials is a book series. That phrase and the title of The Golden Compass originate from Paradise Lost. Speaking of which, I need to finish the series. From what I’ve read, the author had a bone to pick with CS Lewis, and I do approve of that.

Again, I love the imagery of this section, and that’s the only reason I’m sharing this. See, so far, Satan has been presented as a giant. He’s enormous. He’s powerful. But the chaos dwarfs him. Could absolutely swallow him. You believe in it as a dangerous place—a primordial place. It feels older than God.

Although the void here is technically allegorical, there’s worldbuilding here. This is an attempt at realism. The boundaries between allegorical and literal smear.

…At last his Sail-broad Vans He spreads for flight, and in the surging smoke Uplifted spurns the ground, thence many a League As in a cloudy Chair ascending rides Audacious, but that seat soon failing, meets A vast vacuity: all unawares Flutt’ring his pennons vain plumb down he drops Ten thousand fathom deep…

I had no idea that “vans” originated as a word for “wings.” For a brief, heady moment, I imagined Lucifer taking off in some cool fuckin kicks.

Here's where you see what I mean about action sequences: Milton is so damn good at making you feel the rough weather and envisioning weird spaces. "Surging smoke," "ascending rides/Audacious," "a vast vacuity."

...i love alliteration and action verbs. so much

…when straight behold the Throne Of Chaos, and his dark Pavilion spread Wide on the wasteful Deep; with him Enthron’d Sat Sable-vested Night, eldest of things, The consort of his Reign; and by them stood Orcus and Ades, and the dreaded name Of Demogorgon; Rumor next and Chance, And Tumult and Confusion all embroil’d, And Discord with a thousand various mouths.

Again, I just LOVE this. I’m trying to only share things I enjoy, but it’s so hard when the whole book sings.

"Wide on the wasteful deep." Mmmmfffffff f f f ffffffffffffff

"Sable-vested Night." You know, when people adjectivize nouns, usually I get mad, but this is gorgeous.

Had to include the bit about Discord because never before have I appreciated the name so well

“Yours be th’ advantage all, mine the revenge.”

Metal. Take whatever you want: I wanna fuck this guy over. (Satan absolutely said this.)

...Satan stay’d not to reply, But glad that now his Sea should find a shore, With fresh alacrity and force renew’d Springs upward like a Pyramid of fire Into the wild expanse…

One thing I like to imagine, especially when I see visual depictions of spectacular events, is wonder how the author came to envision them. As writers, we’re very lucky in this day and age that we can go look up videos and images and firsthand accounts of farflung events, and a lot of us take cues from film and television. Milton would have had a more limited palette.

What is more, not everyone can write an action sequence. Milton can. He understands that language is about feeling, not seeing.

It makes me wonder: what inspired the image of Satan’s launch? Fireworks? Comets? Lightning? The mere interplay with light out in the world?

“Glad now his Sea should find a shore” is a beautiful line and it’s about the devil allying with Chaos rofl

Send that one to your lover one day without explanation.

But now at last the sacred influence Of light appears, and from the walls of Heav’n Shoots far into the bosom of dim Night A glimmering dawn…

The sun is heaven confirmed

We're all gonna live in the sun someday

Oh wait I'm writing this.....

...im going to hell.......

…Satan with less toil, and now with ease Wafts on the calmer wave by dubious light And like a weather-beaten Vessel holds Gladly the Port, though Shrouds and Tackle torn; Or in the emptier waste, resembling Air, Weighs his spread wings, at leisure to behold Far off th’ Empyreal Heav’n, extended wide In circuit, undetermin’d square or round…

It’s fascinating to me that Heaven is seen right away as bending the laws of physics. A different writer whose name rhymes with "HP Lovecraft" would be like NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY

With Opal Tow’rs and Battlements adorn’d Of living Sapphire, once his native Seat; And fast by hanging in a golden Chain This pendant world, in bigness as a Star Of smallest Magnitude close by the Moon.

“This pendant world” "living Sapphire" UggghhhhHHH it’s so good

Imagine for a second: the peoples of this era already knew the Earth was round, but nobody had seen it from space yet.

Milton could fully envision it—like a jewel hanging in the sky.

What I don’t understand is “the golden chain.” It may be literal lol

Thither full fraught with mischievous revenge, Accurst, and in a cursed hour he hies.

This is a word-by-word account of my green-cheek conure flying into a plate of mashed potatoes.

To Be Continued

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Hi Rinn:))

I hope Ur having a good day:). But I literally am obsessed with Ur maze runner fics atm. Ur my fav author on here rn<3

But I was wondering if you would write a Newt x fem!reader, where she's Ben's sister and him comforting reader after he is banished or maybye just stung?

Thank u<3

AAHHhhhh thank you so much for your kind words it really means a lot <333333333

Sorry it's been so long (literal months) hope you're out there and able to read this anon ❤❤

Soul sister

Newt x fem!reader (ben's sister)

Set during tmr (movieverse)

Notes: not enough youtube clips of this part of the movie so I'm writing based on memory alone, may not be accurate, also reader's race not specified - the sibling thing is written as more of a sense than being blood related so anyone can read

Warnings: canon-typical stuff (i.e. Grievers, being Stung, Ben's banishing etc)

As a Runner you spend a lot of time away from the Glade, so when you return from a run to hear Ben, your brother, has been Stung and attacked someone, it shocks you to your core.

"Tell me it isn't true."

Newt is the first person you look for after hearing what's happened, and he blinks in surprise as you grab his arm.

"Ben," you say, your fingers unintentionally tightening around Newt's arm.

His sorrowful expression is all you need to see.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n."

"No," you back up slowly, shaking your head in disbelief. You've seen Stung victims before, and if your brother...

"When are they doing it?" you ask shakily, knowing the protocol is to Banish him.

"Sundown, today." Newt's voice is gentle, apologetic.

Your face blanches. "Right... right now?"

At that moment, you hear yelling, all the way down at the Maze doors.

"No, not yet. Not yet, please." Your heartrate picks up as you start down the hill.

"Don't do this, Y/n," Newt grabs your arm, pulling you back.

"Let me talk to him," you beg.

"Don't."

You stop at Newt's pleading tone. "Y/n, there's nothing you can do. I- I'm so sorry."

"I have to-"

"You'll only hurt yourself by going down there. Just wait in the hut for me, okay?"

For a second you don't move... but you know he's right, it's better not to see Ben stung. You tear yourself away, swerving in the direction of Newt's hut as tears blur your vision.

You sit alone in the hut on Newt's bed, everything jittering inside you and telling you to go out and save your brother.

After a while, the door swings open and you jump up.

"Is it done?" You ask shakily.

Newt's eyes are slightly shimmery, and you remember that Ben was his friend too. "He's with the Maze now."

You shut your eyes, backing up to the wall.

"Y/n, are you-"

"Of course I'm not okay!" you lash out. "He was my brother, and you sent him out to die."

"He wasn't himself," says Newt, grabbing your hands as they fly in the air. "He was already gone before we did it. Y/n, please."

"My brother," you whisper.

"I know. I'm so sorry, love," Newt's voice softens, his fingers still loosely holding your wrists.

Your head tilts down as tears start streaming from your eyes, and Newt immediately pulls you in.

You press your face into his shirt, drawing warmth from him as he rubs comforting circles on your back.

"It's okay, I'm here. I've got you." You feel kisses pressed to the top of your head, and you just let yourself cry, mourning the brother you lost.

⭒----⭒

"I remember when I first saw him." You're lying on Newt's chest, telling him everything about Ben. They're things he probably already knows, but he listens anyway.

"Yeah?"

"I recognised him, and- and he recognised me too. I saw it, in his eyes."

Newt's runs his fingers through your hair as you speak, repeating the motions over and over.

"And we just knew. I can't explain, but there was a feeling. I knew he was my brother. I guess whoever put us in here didn't erase our memories well enough." You huff a sad laugh.

"I don't think anyone could have erased the bond between you guys," says Newt. "Siblings are different... it's in your soul."

You hum quietly. "Think you had a sibling?"

"I don't know, sometimes I think I did." Newt absentmindedly curls a strand of your hair around his finger. "I think... maybe a sister. I can never picture her, or remember her name. I just..."

"It's in your soul," you say.

"Yeah," he smiles.

"We'll get out of here," you tell him. "And we'll find her."

Newt's quiet for a moment. Then he drops a kiss between your eyebrows. "Thank you, Y/n."

"He had lapses," says Newt suddenly. "Ben. I forgot to tell you. While you were out running, and he got Stung, I think he had moments where he came back to himself, just for a second."

"How do you know?" you ask.

"Because he grabbed me. Couldn't form an actual sentence, but he kept saying your name. Over and over.

"He thought of you," says Newt, looking down and meeting your eyes. "He wanted to keep you safe, and get you out of here."

You let out a disbelieving breath, and a single tear slides down your face. "I will. I'll get out." You voice is shaky, but determined.

"Good that," says Newt with a smile. "Take the rest of us with you, will ya?"

"Of course," you squeeze his hand. "I'd never leave you."

Comforting Newt >>>>>>

Anyways short fic today, trying to get through these months-old requests (sorry!). Hope you enjoyed reading :)

[ceratonia-siliqua]

Hi! Super weird question to ask, but, I was wondering if you were the person that wrote a fan fic of Bucky/Peter called “Forever.” On Ao3? If so, I always wanted to know what happened to that fic, because it was literally the best of literature I’ve read on Bucky/Peter. It was so good that I would go back to read it again, and I was wondering if you still had that fic, or if something happened to it, I just wanted to know because it still eats me up to this day that I can’t read it no more 😭. Also if this isn’t who I think it is, then I’m sorry please ignore this!

Hi!!! I'm not sure how old this message is but yes, I am the person who wrote Forever. The reason it got deleted was actually not by my choice. The coauthor was found out to be lying about faking a terminal illness and so she deleted her entire account on ao3 and I believe on tumblr as well. Ao3 terminates even coauthored fics if one person decides to remove it so the entire thing was removed and I have just never gotten around to fixing the issue because it was so time consuming and during the aftermath I was still finishing by Bachelor's degree and didn't have time to sort through and make sure I had all the files. Sadly, after checking it looks like all the files were deleted at some point.

But! I do have some good news! Ao3 emailed me some documentation of the original fic so I do have a readable version, it's just not formally posted anymore. I keep telling myself I'll get around to reposting it and so I haven't released the link but I have a feeling I might never get to it so here's the link since I feel bad its been hidden in a backroom for so long.

It is the story in its entirety and pretty much all the original information. Really the biggest hurdle to me posting it on ao3 has been needing to divvy things up into chapters and do all the tagging again.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Let me know if the link works. I tested it while logged out to make sure you didn't need to be signed into my throw away account to access the info and it seemed fine but confirmation doesn't hurt.

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyy tell me about your selfship lore with dazai pretty please

CARINAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ABT US ANGEL I LOVE HIM SM:(((((

okok so i had a chance to brainstorm a little with a friend the other day and now i'm gonna tell you all about it hehehehe:3333 also uhh.. i think this might get long so i apologize for that lmao

mizai takes place in a cute little university au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dazai is majoring in literature (he's so pretentious i love him so bad) and i am an art major!!!!!!! this is how i get to live out my silly dreams okay lmao so i'm thinking about studying pottery or something!!!!!!!!!

and and and since the they're all so very important to me i also need to tell you that chuuya is also an art major, he's doing classical painting (but he takes some pottery classes with me and that's how we met:333). kunikida is ofc gonna be a teacher, so he's studying education aaaaaaaaaaand fedya is... a psychology major. i'm scared of him a little i won't even lie.

AAAAANYWAYYY MIZAII:333 he pretty much just lives at my place; he does have an apartment but it's super small and he just.. doesn't like it there. so he has his own key and he's free to come and go whenever he wants!!!!!!! when i say 'go' i'm actually lying bc he really is just always at my place,, like i come home and he's there. i wake up and he's there. i go to take a piss and then come out only to be met with him laying on my couch. he's weird like that i love him sm.

i also have a cat!!!!!!!!! well i mean my irl cat is just canon in the mizai world hehehee and ooooooooh my god dazai loves him so much. and shrimp really fucking likes him too (so much so that i get jealous sometimes.. ) my cat is very talkative and so is dazai so there's just constant meowing going on. and well sadly, i am no better okay i am a meower too......................... we have a proper fucking cat choir going on smh i wonder if the neighbors hate us...................

though we're both big talkers, one of our favourite things to do is literally just parallel play. he's laid out on my bed like the princess that he is with his newest book while i sit behind my desk, typing away at whatever it is that i'm writing at the moment and it's just sooo so comfortable. and then after we decide that we've been productive enough we always go to the little cafe that we both love and then go to chuuya's just to bother him a bit (he loves us) >:333333333

whenever we're out taking the bus or the train, we're sitting shoulder to shoulder while sharing earphones!!!!!!!!! he rests his head against mine and fidgets with my fingers while i choose the music<333333

oh and neither of us can sleep alone btw. we both struggle with sleep all around but it's not that bad when we're together. it's like thing apparently too you know? that like you get sleepy when you're around a person you really feel safe with? so yeah... we take a lot of naps together it's kind of like a shared love language of ours!!!!!!

OMFG WAIT I ALSO NEED TO ADD THAT UHH ODA IS HERE TOO. HE'S DAZAI'S FAVOURITE PROFESSOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAA oda loves him sm... he loves hearing all of dazai's ideas and his takes and they talk after the lectures all the time too. they actually even go to grab a coffee every now and then. dazai just really really loves talking to him and sometimes (read: every time) he comes home after seeing him, he's sooo happy:((( he has the biggest smile on my face as he just plops down on top of me and starts retelling everything they talked about with oda:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( AAAAAAAHHH CARINAA I LOVE HIM SOOO SO BADDDDD I'M GONNA DIEEEEE

he once kinda dragged me into one of oda's classes too and i was so scared that he'll throw me out bc well.. i'm not supposed to be there but then he was just checking who's there and who's not and his eyes met mine before moving to dazai's twinkling ones and he just smiled and let me be there anyway. (he would literally never throw me out)(btw i fear that.. dazai... yaps about me to him too.............. )

BUT WAHH OKAY OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP HERE BEFORE I ACTUALLY EXPLODEEEE I LOVE TAKING HIM TO STUDY DATES AT THE CAFE AND I LOVE TAKING HIM TO ARCADE DATES AND I LOVE LISTENING HIM TALK AND I LOVE WATCHING HIM CUDDLE WITH SHRIMP (MY CAT:33) AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAHHH THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS CARINA MY ANGEL<333333 it means a lot a lot a lot hehehehe MWAH MWAH MWAHH I LOVE YOU SM!!!!!!!!