#anyways I'm glad we're mutuals now!

[frobisher-smythe]

alright first i don't know HOW i haven't followed you yet. second because i refuse to be alone in this. fabian would be a PERFECT osirion for nina. he already goes out of his was to protect her, the form this instant bond the moment she arrives do you see. my vision. eddie is great but the thematic element of "are we actually in love with each other or is this just another string of fate pulling us together" would be SO GOOD

😭😭 I've been intermittingly inactive for awhile

I LOVE thinking about how senkhara automatically thought it was fabian. fabian has always been naturally protective over nina, in season one we see that right from the jump when the others are questioning why nina left for school early and he says "it's probably to get away from us, we've hardly been very welcoming", then again when he protests against her 'initiation', and all throughout the first mystery: covering for her with the teachers, going after her when she was kidnapped by rufus, his reaction when she's threatened by rufus with the flies in the classroom in particular. it was never something that just jumped out during the senet task. he was the natural assumption for her osirian, he's gravitated towards her from her first day, put himself into the mystery despite having no personal connection, and has always, always protected her.

I've written about the "are we actually in love or is it fate" in the context of eddie/nina before but it works for any chosen one/osirian hc, feeling a natural pull towards each other and questioning whether it's because of some ancient fated responsibility or because you genuinely care for the other, bringing out eros. it's such an interesting dynamic that I think brings a lot of confusion for those involved and lets you have this really beautiful slow-burn type of love.

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post

[deansbeer]

make a wish !

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 adult content ; minors go away.

♡ synopsis. on your special day, your friends stood you up, but jason comes through and makes it even better than you expected.

♡ warning(s). smut, unprotected sex, oral sex ( fem!receiving ), dirty talk, slight praise kink, minor angst ( friends cancelling birthday dinner ), fluff & comfort, best friends to lovers, mutual pining.

♡ kari notes. another lil bday gift for bree since it's still the 23rd for me <3 and i'm just SO down bad for mr. todd ;) enjoyyyyy baddies lol <3

birthdays were supposed to be special. you spent weeks looking forward to yours, planning the perfect outfit and imagining all the fun memories you'd make with your closest friends.

you'd spent hours getting ready, carefully curling your hair, applying your makeup just right, and sliding into that little black dress you'd bought specifically for tonight. your heels sparkled, your lips glossed, and your hopes were high.

jason had stopped by earlier, like he always did. he was your best friend, after all—he knew your birthday was important and refused to miss out on seeing you before you left. he even brought you a gift, neatly wrapped despite his usual messy style. you couldn't help but smile as he handed it over, a shy grin on his handsome face.

"you didn't have to get me anything, jay," you'd said softly, unwrapping it carefully. you gasped quietly when you saw it—a beautiful silver necklace, delicate and dainty, with your birthstone gleaming brightly. "oh my god—it's beautiful."

he shrugged, cheeks turning pink under your gaze. "i'm glad you like it, sweetheart. figured it'd look good on you."

you smiled warmly, leaning over to hug him tight, breathing in his familiar scent of leather, mint, and something uniquely him. "thank you, jay. this means a lot."

he stayed with you until it was time to leave, offering to drive your car since he knew damn well you hated driving in heels. he pulled up to the fancy restaurant your friend had booked, giving you a reassuring smile. "have fun tonight, yeah? you deserve it."

you smiled softly, squeezing his hand gently before getting out. "i'll let you know when we're done."

he nodded, watching you walk inside before heading back.

——

the hostess greeted you with a warm smile, leading you to a private room at the back. your excitement grew, imagining your friends already waiting, ready to celebrate. but when the doors opened, your heart sank.

the room, beautifully decorated with twinkling lights, candles, and flowers, was completely empty.

you frowned slightly, checking your phone. maybe everyone was just running late? you sat down anyway, gracefully settling into a chair. to ease your nerves, you texted jason, letting him know you were safe—but alone for now.

hey jay, made it safely. nobody here yet tho, guess they're late lol

jason: late? thought your friend would be there first, right?

you hesitated, realizing he was right.

yeah... maybe traffic. i'll keep you updated.

jason: alright doll, keep your phone close.

you waited patiently for an hour, heart sinking lower with every passing minute. eventually, you texted the group chat, asking if everyone was okay. messages flooded in, each one cutting deeper than the last:

"omg so sorry girl! something came up tonight."

"shit, i thought we canceled? oops."

"happy birthday tho! rain check?"

you stared blankly at your screen, eyes stinging with tears. your throat felt tight, your vision blurred. embarrassed, you swallow down the lump in your throat. you tried to stay composed, but soon tears slipped silently down your cheeks, quickly wiped away with a napkin.

it hurt more than you'd admit. you felt stupid, embarrassed, and alone on your birthday.

with shaky fingers, you called jason.

"hey," he answered immediately, his voice soothing. "everything alright?"

"can you come get me, jay?" you whispered, voice thick with tears.

he paused, voice gentle but firm. "of course. you okay?"

"it's stupid," you sniffled quietly. "just wanna go home."

"i'll be right there," he promised softly.

——

jason arrived within fifteen minutes, pulling your car to the curb. you stood outside, hugging yourself against the chill. he immediately noticed your red eyes and the defeated slump in your shoulders. without a word, he stepped out, pulling you into his strong arms. you buried your face into his warm chest, breathing him in shakily.

"it's okay, sweetheart," he murmured softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your hair. "i've got you."

"they forgot," you whispered brokenly against his black leather jacket, tears soaking into the fabric. "everyone canceled. on my birthday."

he tightened his hold, voice low and comforting. "then they're idiots. c'mon, let's get you home."

he helped you into the car, making sure you were buckled and comfortable before climbing in himself. you noticed he drove in the opposite direction from home.

"where are we going?"

he shot you a soft smile. "you trust me?"

you nodded slowly, still wiping your eyes.

he took you straight to mcdonald's, ordering your favorite meal despite your protests.

"jason, you don't have to—"

"hey, hush. it's your birthday. let me treat you."

you smiled weakly, accepting the food gratefully. afterward, he took you to local drugstore, grabbing a basket and gently nudging you inside. "grab whatever you want. tonight's your night."

you hesitated, but soon the basket overflowed with favorite snacks, candies, chocolates, and drinks. jason only smiled fondly, never complaining once.

when you returned home, confused but feeling lighter, he took the bags inside, ushering you toward the bathroom. "freshen up, get comfy. i'll set everything up."

you showered quickly, slipping into your favorite little silk nightgown, the fabric soothing against your skin. padding back out, you found jason waiting, smiling warmly as he patted the spot beside him.

the coffee table was covered in your favorite snacks, drinks, and treats. your heart warmed; he’d made a whole cozy setup just for you.

"happy birthday, pretty girl," he whispered softly, pulling you close. you leaned against him, watching your favorite movie. his arm wrapped gently around your shoulders, fingertips tracing soothing patterns along your skin.

you relaxed into his warmth, resting your head against his broad chest. his heartbeat was steady, comforting beneath your cheek. his scent surrounded you—warm, safe, familiar. you sighed contentedly, finally feeling calm.

after a while, you glanced up, noticing him watching you intently.

"what?" he murmured softly, thumb brushing your shoulder.

"nothing," you breathed, suddenly shy beneath his gaze.

his eyes darkened softly, moving slowly to cup your face. your breath caught as he leaned closer, gently brushing his lips against yours, hesitant at first, then deepening with quiet confidence.

heat surged through your body instantly. you straddled his lap instinctively, feeling his strong hands grip your hips, pulling you flush against his body. the kiss turned messy, desperate, tongues tangling, breaths mingling.

"fuck, baby," he groaned softly, fingers sliding up beneath your gown. he chuckled huskily when he realized you wore nothing underneath. "no panties, huh? you're just full of surprises."

you blushed, biting your lip. "didn't think you'd notice."

he smirked, guiding you onto your back, hovering protectively above you. "little minx."

he kissed you deeply, pulling the top of your gown down, exposing your breasts. his mouth found your nipples, sucking gently, making you moan softly beneath him. his fingers dipped between your thighs, teasing your clit, making your hips arch eagerly.

"need you," you gasped breathlessly against his lips, tugging at his shirt. "please, jay."

he stripped quickly, his muscular frame hovering over you. breathless, you watched his cock spring free, already hard and heavy. you shivered, spreading your thighs wider, welcoming him.

he pressed inside slowly, groaning deeply at how perfectly you stretched around him. you gasped at the fullness, nails digging gently into his soft squishy torso.

"fuck," he whispered roughly, thrusting carefully at first, then building a steady rhythm. "you're perfect."

you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer, deeper, moaning softly into his neck. your bodies moved together effortlessly, pleasure building rapidly.

"jay—god, feels s'good," you whimpered, clinging tightly, feeling yourself nearing the edge.

"that's right, come for me, baby," he growled softly, thrusts becoming deeper, rougher, hitting every perfect spot inside you.

you shattered beneath him, crying out his name, tightening around him. he groaned, hips stuttering as he followed you over the edge.

afterward, he held you close, gently stroking your hair. you sighed contentedly, heart full and happy.

"happy birthday," he whispered lovingly, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

you smiled softly, cuddling closer, feeling loved and important in his arms.

maybe birthdays didn't always go as planned—but tonight, wrapped up in jason, you realized this was exactly where you were meant to be.

© deansbeer is tagging u .ᐟ @arkhamsgirl @titsout4jackles @daylighted @soldiersgirl @bluemerakis @figthoughts @beausling @starzify @honeyryewhiskey @bejeweledinterludes @h8aaz @cowboysandcigarettes @stereotypicalbarbie ౨ৎ ₊˚⊹

[takes1]

Hii, I wanted to start off saying that I love your works! You’re writing is impeccable and I’m glad I was able to stumble upon it! 🤍

I wanted to request a Kageyama x reader where they are best friends and there is a lot of mutual pining. I think it would be fun seeing them get jealous and yearn for each other while tension develops around them.

kageyama x reader mutual pining

thank you so so much!!! i'm glad you like it :,) i rlly liked this req!

warnings. none, sfw. minors DNI

details. best friends / mutual pining / jealous!kageyama / distracted!studying / track team!reader / classmate!reader / kageyama teasing you / mutual crushing / tension / questionable touches / 3k words

links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my request box.

"Are you two dating?"

It was a question you were both used to handling, at this point.

A kind, but curt, "No, we're just friends."

Despite how nice you were to anybody who found the need to ask, you wanted nothing more than to strangle the poor soul who started the official rumor that Tobio was your secret boyfriend. You had been friends for years, but it was only just now a problem.

You liked to think it didn't affect much between you. But that was a half-truth; it didn't affect how much you saw each other, but there was this new, sensitive layer to everything you said and did.

The bell rang for lunch and he was standing at your desk, still trying to shake that incessant question. That was the second time today somebody had asked if you were dating.

Tobio swiped his favorite pencil of yours and twirled it between his fingers. He looked like he wanted to ask you something, but his presence grew quieter, darker at the next unwanted presence.

"(Y/n)!" A couple friends from the guys' track team you hadn't seen since your last practice came into the classroom with a few other students, also looking for their friends for the free period.

You grinned and waved them over, taking to a knee on your seat.

"I didn't get to talk to you Wednesday, but I wanted to say congrats on your record!"

"Yeah, that was sick."

Only you could hear Tobio sigh. It was subtle, through his nose, and impatient.

They were excited about the new record you set for the school in your event, making technical jokes, being a little too sparing with the compliments.

You passed a look to him, grin frozen for a second. He was eyeing your friends, head down toying with all the stuff on your desk, glancing up at them through his brow at times, pissed off. He looked like an asshole. Your track friends were picking up on it, too.

"Thanks, guys," You waved them off, trying to be nice enough to make up for Tobio, "See ya at practice."

It was quiet between you until they were completely out of the room. You tried to stifle your smile at what you could only rationalize as jealousy, or possessiveness.

"You gonna be okay?" You joked and sat back down, just to lighten the mood. He would only get defensive if you were direct.

His gaze softened, eyes gently searching your own face as he crafted a tentative, late reply.

"Yeah," Was all.

The subject changed quick, your shared tension simmering back down, "What's the test over?"

The pencil slipped from his fingers and spun to the floor with a quiet clatter- he dove after it and bumped the back of his head on the way up.

Your hands stifled your amused grin in a flash. He was onto you anyway when he resurfaced, staying in a squat, embarrassment taking the form of a frustrated attempt to flick you in the head-- you slapped his wrist away with an uncovered laugh.

"Stop-," You grabbed the other wrist snaking around to finish the job, eye contact friendly and serious at first, "Stop it."

The look he returned seared into you.

It was too much. Tobio gave up quicker than usual. You let out a sigh, both of you unable to joke around like that for long anymore.

This was commonplace behavior at this point- he liked teasing in the form of physical contact, his specialty being flicks, jabs, soft punches, grabs. You preferred the verbal alternative. Insults to his intelligence of all kinds were your favored choice.

"It should be over chapters six through... ten, I think. All the methods, at least."

"I'm so fucked..." He sighed almost immediately.

You rolled your eyes, "That's your problem, you give up too early and don't study."

His pretty blue irises scanned your open notebook, full of highlighted paragraphs, hand written notes, and graphs he couldn't read.

"You hear me?" Your two finger nudge was ignored. He just let his shoulder be moved, as if a ghost was up to it, "Study?"

"Do you even know what that word means?" You chortled.

"I know what study means," He hissed, only making it funnier.

"I'm sure you do," You teased with a stretch over the back of your chair. You leaned far so you could pop your back, and settled down with a groan.

Tobio was looking at your shirt. You adjusted it, pulling it, fluffing it. When he realized you were aware of his staring, he sighed and looked elsewhere.

"Go eat your lunch," You put your cheek against your fist.

It served as a gentle reminder to leave you alone or people would start talking about you again.

"Why can't I eat it over here?" He squinted at the rest of the room, full of groups of people eating their lunches with their friends.

Why was it only different with you two? He could scope two other guy/girl pairs in this room that weren't dating, to his knowledge. While he was at it, he watched for anybody that might start another rumor.

"Well-," You also eyed the room, "Fine, hurry up though."

Tobio quickly unzipped his bag from two desks over and threw the container to you without warning. You caught it, but it was only thanks to your hand-eye coordination. Good form aside, it could've been disastrous.

"Don't throw shit-," You started, but he was hot on your tail before you could call him a dumbass, equipped with an argument as he swiped a chair and pulled it right next to you.

"You caught it."

"Yeah but-,"

"You caught it-," He shoveled about a third of his lunch in his mouth all at once, "I'knew you woul' catch i'."

He could truly be such an ogre. You tried to act disgusted, but there was something cute about his lack of manners- and your suspicion that he may have actually thought harder about that throw than you wanted to give him credit for.

Through the next half of lunch, you watched a mix of clips on your phone from the last year's Olympics and national level matches of multiple sports. Maybe it was because you ended with volleyball that made him so hesitant to stop watching videos and let you alone so that you could study for the exam.

"I dunno why you're studying now," He used one forearm to wipe his chin, the other hand to flip, disinterested, through the pages in your notebook, "It's Friday."

A moment to digest that. He sat, waiting for you to respond to him with an emptiness behind his eyes.

"And...? The exam is Monday."

He nodded.

"You're going to fail. And I'll have no sympathy for you," You laughed, unable to understand what was clogging up the neurons in his brain to trigger such a severe blockage of learning.

Tobio was quiet and still for so long that you were starting to get some quality time in, reading over your notes, highlighting from your text, making some new notes for later. You thought that there was a possible balance to be struck between how attractive somebody was, and how much intelligence they were allowed. Clearly, he was all pretty face, tiny brain.

You glanced a couple of times across your shoulder to him. He wasn't on his phone, and he wasn't looking at you, you could deduce after a few minutes.

It felt tense anytime you weren't speaking to each other. That's why the two of you made an unacknowledged point to talk often, or do an activity together. It was made of lengthy conversations about your respective sports, talking about your own separate friend groups, or going on a run right after school- not much in between.

"What are you doing this weekend?"

The question was quiet, like he was embarrassed, or mulling over exactly how to ask it the whole time. When you looked at him, you were glad he was avoiding you by staring at your notebook. You didn't want him to see the initial reaction on your face.

Tobio didn't sound too terribly invested, but you considered that he could've been asking it that way on purpose.

You hated when it got weird like this. It was like you were confirming the rumors. It was his fault for being so hot and asking weird questions.

-

All he wanted to do was study. You blew a long breath into the cold evening air and watched it rise until it spiraled into nothing. All he wanted to do was study.

Your foot was tapping, impatient, focused on the new chill creeping down your neck past your coat. It was ten minutes past when he wanted to meet you after his practice. The walk to the library wasn't long, but it was Friday and you had some shows to watch, some supper to eat. You enjoyed playing the intellectual high ground around him, yes, but you had no real plans to study before Saturday afternoon- until he asked you.

As you shivered outside, squinting at the frosty, dead grass, you realized you wouldn't do this for anyone else. That freaked you out just a little.

"Hey," He was jogging up to you from the gym- you turned to the side to face him in the covered walkway.

You sighed, just to express your disdain, but you were unable to control a vicious, goofy tremble in the process.

Instead of the look you were trying to conjure -apologetic, penitent-, he broke out into a half-cocked smile. But Tobio didn't acknowledge anything. No a smartass comment about your giant puffy coat, no jab at your dramatics, not even a mockery shiver.

All he did was bump your shoulder and walk in the direction of the library.

You lagged behind, all of a sudden warmer than you needed to be, and mulling over how cute he looked when he smiled. A genuine one. Not a sly, ill-intended snicker or the smirk he had when he stole your things and held them over your head.

This creeping fondness had to be shaken out of you.

Your legs carried you stronger, faster, to catch up to him. He hardly had a second to turn and look at you before you gave him a playful shove back, your grin ungovernable in such cheesy conditions.

"What was that look for?" You laughed, dodging a smack to the back of the head for such a big and surprising shove. You usually didn't return his touchiness, which in turn kept it at bay, so he took a minute to decide if he wanted to escalate things. You stayed ready at his side as you walked, just in case.

"What look?" He mumbled, careful not to look at you.

His hands were deep in his pockets. His jacket was zipped open, giving him some room to operate, but it was a sign of surrender. You put your guard down.

"You smiled at me," Was cautious in nature, but not in tone.

It was friendly and not indicative of anything- purely observational- but you wanted to know if there was more.

A tiny sideways glance told you so much.

Tobio's face was redder. You weren't imagining it, because he actively avoided your staring.

Hand still in his pocket, he went to shove your shoulder like usual- you dodged it with a laugh, about to punch his side, but got caught short when he grabbed you.

"I dunno what you're talking about," His voice was dripping in sarcasm.

His arm was wrapping around your side, keeping you from fighting back, grabbing firm at your waist through his pocket and pulling you into his warm body, into his jacket with him.

It knocked you completely off balance. Stumbling, pressed into the side of his chest for a few moments, you were trying to keep up with him before he did you the favor of squeezing you closer, taking most of your weight.

He rubbed his arm real tight along your side; it was all you could feel, aside from the floating sensation. His strength took you by surprise.

"This is why people think we're together!"

You pushed out of his loosening grip at a good time. The joke was starting to feel too intimate. You were at your destination, too.

"Well," His defensiveness was so exaggerated it looked like he was upset you wiggled away from him, "I'm not gonna take my hands outta my pockets. Are you kidding me?" He scoffed, leaving you to spiral in the act all by yourself, "It's cold."

As you entered the building, it dawned on you that it was going to be one of those things that didn't get talked about again. You had a built up quite a few moments like that over the past few years- but lately, they seemed to be a more frequent occurrence.

The table you chose was out of the way and quiet. It was far away from the sports section or any screens so neither of you were tempted by any distractions. Tobio took it upon himself to grab the extra book you needed before you got settled in.

You had time to sit and think about it. His argument made no sense. Many arguments wouldn't have held well to that little move he pulled.

When he put his arm around you, his strong, warm arm-- you were breathing in a little too much cologne, mixed with his sweat that you never seemed to mind the smell of-- the smile in his eyes but not his mouth-- the mint on his breath. Was all that really for a bad joke? Just an embrace between friends?

It was all you could think about, but you knew you had to get it together when you saw him coming back from across the library.

He got stopped short by a girl you didn't know. She asked him something and pointed at the shelf.

Your nails raked at the lining on your pants. Your eye twitched and you knew you were too far gone. Your eye was twitching at some girl talking to him.

She reached up on her tippy toes for the novel she wanted.

Sure, he was tall and she was short, but was that really necessary to communicate the point?

"Ugh," You spat- you couldn't help it, you hated those girls that acted like babies for attention. It made everyone look bad.

Tobio grabbed the novel and handed it to her like a dirty rag, chin turned towards you with a big frown that said 'Yeah, yikes.'

You were beyond thankful he hadn't fallen under her spell. But, on the downside, he caught you staring. Staring hard.

When he returned to your table and took the seat across from you, he already looked like he was about to address it. That tiny smirk said it all.

"Don't look so upset," He scanned over your unamused face and reeled it back, opting for a softer, candid, "She's not my type."

This was getting weird and stilted. You both understood there had been too many mentions of dating-adjacent topics. It was about 300% more than usual. There stood a decision to make.

To take advantage of the fact that what was on your mind finally held relevance to the conversation, or to switch the subject and risk never getting the opportunity to talk about it, nor entertain it?

You tried to strike a balance between nonchalant and inquisitive, but it wasn't possible. Your fingers tapped a dull eraser onto the table. You thought it might make you feel better, but it didn't.

"Then--," In fact, you realized you couldn't ask anything at all without looking too interested.

At the last second, you pulled back, your expression impossible to read because you felt a million different ways at once, "Let's just- um-... let's start with chapter six."

He frowned, his gaze anywhere but you. The quiet was heavy.

Without a word, he cracked upon the new textbook in a similar way to yours.

You regretted it. It would be long, uphill battle trying to facilitate a conversation like that again.

As your study session passed in mostly silence, you began to gain a sense of growing respect for the newfound presence forming between you. Whatever was changing needed to develop on its own time.

♕VIP♕

@integers @yuchacco

my masterlist. my request box.

[miriadalia]

Things you can comment on the fanfics you love when you have no idea what to say

From what takes less time to what takes more

~show those writers your love, please!! They do it for free T-T and they deserve better

1. Emojis

You know the vibe of the fic you're reading, chose the ones that suit it better.

❤❤❤

💔💔💔

🙈🔥🔥

You may think this is kind of stupid, but trust me, it is NOT for the writer. It shows you've read until the end of the chapter and that you liked it so much that you decided to say it publicly. Your presence means A LOT.

Also, leaving kudos or votes takes literally just 1 second, what are you doing NOT doing that?? 🤨🤨🤨

2. Simple phrases

I loved it so much!!

Can't wait for the next chapter!!

This was just so good 😍

Amazing as always, keep it up!! 🙌🏼

Writing is a lonely work if you think about it. When I'm in a writer's block, just one sentence can hype me up for the rest of the day and give me the spirit I need 💪🏽

3. The emotions you felt

Yes, you DO matter. That fanfic author cares more about your opinion than your stupid ex so you better write to them instead 🧐

The plotwist was so unexpected, I'm shocked 😱

You can't end with that cliffhanger, how am I supposed to wait another week??

Excuse me, I will now lock into my room and cry all night, thank you 💔

I've read some people saying they won't comment how they felt because they feel ashamed or shy. Take it as if you were about to post a tweet or comment on a friend IG's story 👍🏻

4. One piece of dialogue/prose that really amazed you

Oof 🔥 this happened to me a few weeks ago and that comment still lives in my mind rent free. There's no better way to compliment a writer's work than to highlight something they wrote that left a true impression on you.

And it literally takes no time:

[Insert piece of dialogue], oh she didn't just say that, imma throw hands 🤬🤬

[Insert piece of a description], I could really see it with my own eyes, loved how you described it!

5. Hopes and wishes for future chapters

C'mon, you're going to comment this anyway with some of your fandom mutuals or friends, why don't let the writer know that too?? COPY AND PASTE IT ✍✍

I just need Chatacter A and Chatacter B to kiss, how long is it gonna take?? 😩

Watching that scene in [Canon series name] would have been awesome!! Maybe in future seasons 👀👀

I hope [Ship Name] don't break up in the next chapter, they are so cute 😭

6. Character discussion

Okay, we're entering deeper waters here.

But the truth is: if you love that fanfic that much is because the characters really resonated with you. So express your first thoughts without any fear:

[Chatacter Name] is so important to me, like you have no idea. All the things they went through... But they still manage to be a better person ❤

[Chatacter Name] was so forgotten in [Movie/Series Name], I'm glad they're getting the development they deserved here!

7. Scene discussion

Again, you might think the comment section is no place to start "fangirling" over the stuff you liked. But IT IS!! And the writer wants to know your thoughts on their work, especially if your opinion is all positive 💞

This will take more time, sure. But if you're going to write it anyways for other people, COPY AND PASTE AGAIN, hon!

8. How this story is impacting your fan life (or even personal life)

You don't need to overshare, but simple comments like:

Your fic has really changed the way I think about [Character Name]'s decisions, I feel like I can understand them better now.

This story has motivated me to rewatch all the episodes again 😢 the nostalgia!!!

What you did with [Character's situation] was incredible! I've been there myself and I could have not explain it better 😔

... They will be the ones the writer will remember the most, I can assure you that.

9. A simple THANK YOU

At the end of the day, fanfic and fanart creators only have your feedback to rely on when the block or discouragement hits... This is about showing appreciation to someone you may not know at all, but that has brighten your day with their creations and efforts ❤

[obsessivevoidkitten]

I have some really important information that may concern you and a blogger on Tumblr that I think you might know of, or could be mutuals with…

This was an anon send in that can be found on this blog [censored, blogger doesn’t want people to mistake them being part of the drama, and does NOT SUPPORT the following bigoted beliefs]…

“Ew, you're collaborating with a white supremacist's best friend?

Just a heads up, but @fangdokja-anon has been called out by multiple authors here for being homophobic, fatphobic, and racist, as well as making multiple problematic posts (like wanting to write about genocide and infant SA). The only person who publicly supported her was @yanderedrabbles who praised her in the comments and even made a post to defend her friendship.

It's your choice to have her as a writer for the zine, but please make it public knowledge so people can at least opt out. I myself won't sign up to share space with a bigot.”

Then there was this follow up post by the same anon, who goes into detail of the issues above…

“Sorry for the sudden accusatory ask, I'm one of the people who unfollowed @yanderedrabbles after she openly expressed her support for the homophobe and I was annoyed to see her acting so careless on another blog I follow. I guess she's hoping we'll just forget about it at some point and keeps quiet on her main.

Here's the first post where she explained in many empty words she doesn't care about the issue because the blog has been nice to her and they're friends: https://www.tumblr.com/yanderedrabbles/780435897593315328/hi-idk-if-your-mutuals-with-fangdokja-but-shes?source=share

The problematic post on @fangdokja-anon blog has since been deleted or removed, but I have a screenshot of @yanderedrabbles commenting on it with ‘THATS why your pro pic went all blurry when I logged in. Literally freaked me out so bad. I'm glad to see you reorganising fang! Gonna learn to use AO3 just for you 😘’ while the rest of us were freaking out at the atrocities mentioned.

Instead of coming out and telling us why she chose to publicly support someone who fetishizes stuff like concentration camps and pedophilia she's all giddy about writing for a yandere magazine, like we're dumbasses who'll just swallow up any content. The audacity is amazing.”

Hopefully the last follow up post by the anon that goes into some more history/evidence…

“The post that started this whole drama is from December, but it didn't gain traction until some bigger blogs like ozzgin and moyazaika talked about it, which happened recently. It's still available and you can read it for yourself, including the paragraphs where she explicitly says she doesn't support LGBTQ+ content: https://www.tumblr.com/fangdokja/770117292416712704/blog-rules-guidelines?source=share

The main conclusion from it was that she's (@fangdokja-anon) homophobic, though more people pointed out she's made questionable statements in the past, too. It should've stopped there, but then she made a post basically explaining that she's been gathering an audience so she can switch to different platforms (her website and AO3), where she can finally write without censorship. It was an extremely cringe story about her ‘shackles’ coming off, listing a bunch of offensive topics from the Trigger Warning Database and saying that nothing is sacred and she won't hold back. (Yes, it included the part about children and infants not being safe from it) Same blogs called her out again and she proceeded to block everyone who interacted with those posts. I guess a lot of people reported her blog since it's now hidden and tagged as ‘mature’, for which she had a meltdown.

Anyway, friend (@fangdokja-anon) is against queer people but you (@yanderedrabbles) argue she's actually kind because you haven't been targeted? Suspicious, but I let it sit.

Friend (@fangdokja-anon) publishes entire paragraphs about wanting to write downright atrocious content and you (@yanderedrabbles) comment how excited you are for it? Yeah, that doesn't work anymore, sorry. You're clearly ok with it and that's fucked up. Go support your cult member somewhere else, not in my gay household.”

Since this all seems to be true, please reconsider any relationship you have with @yanderedrabbles and @fangdokja-anon

That's a lot to read and I do not follow these people.

[serene-faerie]

Fall of Númenor Dashboard Simulator

🦢 fruitofnimloth Following

I don't know what kind of propaganda everyone's been drinking lately, but some of y'all are really starting to scare me.

So friendly reminder:

We're not. Meant. To be immortal.

We already have a longer lifespan than most normal humans. Stop being so entitled, y'all.

💎 immortal-warrior Follow

How is it entitled to think that it's unfair that we don't get to be immortal? If it weren't for us, Sauron would've conquered all of Middle-earth!

We deserve immortality for kicking Sauron's ass!

🦢 fruitofnimloth Following

This is exactly the kind of entitlement I was talking about.

#my posts #the gift of men

( 23,456 notes )

🔥 priestess-of-melkor Follow

You became Melkor's acolyte to gain immortality.

I became Melkor's acolyte to

✨ fuck Zigûr ✨

We are not the same.

( 560 notes )

🛡️ lordofandunie18 Follow

CALLOUT FOR AR-PHARAZÔN

This will be my very last post.

For the sake of Númenor, I have to try and appeal to the Valar, just as Eärendil did back in the First Age. If I fail to return, I want all of my followers to pack up and prepare to leave. It's only a matter of time before this island comes to ruin.

Before I leave, I must spread the truth about the king. Though it pains me to do this, I cannot stand by and let his cruelty pass anymore. Here's the truth about Ar-Pharazôn, King of Númenor.

TW: rape, incest, domestic abuse, blasphemy against the Valar, violence.

Read more

( 36 notes )

🌾 farmgirlofnumenor Following

Okay, anyone else seriously angry about this new temple that the king's building right now???

Before anyone yells at me, I'm not a Faithful, but I'm not one of the King's Men. I'm just sick of the king's overspending on stupid projects and his obsession with becoming immortal.

There are food shortages in the countryside! People are starving to death and all the king cares about is building this temple! But all these nobles care about is immortality, and I'm just so tired of it all.

Oh, and if you come at me about how I should be blaming the Valar or worshiping Melkor, I will block you.

🌿 forest-lover Follow

Well said, my friend!

All the people criticizing you in the notes must be city people feeling so called out for spending their money on cheap makeup and fake treatments. If you feel insulted by this post, then you're part of the problem.

Quit focusing on making yourselves immortal and focus on helping your people for once!

( 150 notes )

👑 jewel-daughter-miriel Following

The storms are growing worse. The ground is shaking beneath my feet, and I can see smoke coming from the Meneltarma.

This will most likely be my last post. Númenor is lost, and there's no hope of saving it.

I can only hope that the end will come quickly.

( 50 notes )

🕊️ pelargirl Mutuals

Istg the King's Men are so entitled.

They all act like they deserve immortality because they happen to have longer lifespans than most humans.

But you're all ready to sacrifice innocent people and wage war in the south, all because you kicked Sauron's ass thousands of years ago.

You're all awful people and I hope that Eru smites you all.

#i'm so glad i fled to pelargir #to all my faithful friends still in romenna #please stay safe #vent posts #do not reblog

( 9 notes )

🦂 harad-traveller Follow

Reblog if you want a giant wave to swallow Númenor

Likes to charge, reblogs to cast!

💠 long-live-westernesse Follow

Wow, this is so rude. We literally introduced so many things to you Haradrim and this is how you thank us???

And y'all wonder why we destroyed your cities.

🏜️ deserts-of-the-south Follow

Anyways, reblog to destroy Númenor!

#entitled numenoreans

( 500,738 notes )

⚔️ soldier-of-armenelos Follow

*kicks down door*

WAKE UP BABES WE'RE INVADING THE UNDYING LANDS

LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!!

( 5,650 notes )

🐋 nostalgic-numenor Follow

The coastline of Hyarrostar, before the Shadow

#vintage photos #numenor #faithful #elendili #hyarrostar #nostalgia

( 365 notes )

🐚 faithful-and-tired Following

Is it bad that I actually kinda enjoy watching Númenor sink? I mean, it sucks that my home is gone, but after everything that Ar-Pharazôn did, I'm just glad that the trash took itself out.

I hope Sauron also got swept up in that wave.

🌊 maidenofandustar Follow

Bro people are dying wtf is wrong with you???

I say this as someone whose sister was sacrificed by the King's Men. I know we all suffered, but not all of those people were King's Men!

We should never celebrate innocent people dying, or we're no better than Ar-Pharazôn and Sauron.

🐚 faithful-and-tired Following

Girl my entire family was sacrificed in the Temple of Melkor.

I really don't care about 'being the bigger person'.

I just hope Ar-Pharazôn and all of those pathetic King's Men are drowning like rats right now.

( 115 notes )

🗡️ isildur3209 Following

We finally arrived in Middle-earth. It was a rough journey, but we're all safe, if not a little tired.

My brother, wife, and son are safe and sound. However, we got separated from our father's ship thanks to the waves. Don't know what we're gonna do, but for now, I'm gonna take some time to rest and grieve for my home.

#personal #numenor

( 45 notes )

Previous post here

[youryanderedaddy]

I have some really important information that may concern you and a blogger on Tumblr that I think you might know of, or could be mutuals with…

This was an anon send in that can be found on this blog [censored, blogger doesn’t want people to mistake them being part of the drama, and does NOT SUPPORT the following bigoted beliefs]…

“Ew, you're collaborating with a white supremacist's best friend?

Just a heads up, but @fangdokja-anon has been called out by multiple authors here for being homophobic, fatphobic, and racist, as well as making multiple problematic posts (like wanting to write about genocide and infant SA). The only person who publicly supported her was @yanderedrabbles who praised her in the comments and even made a post to defend her friendship.

It's your choice to have her as a writer for the zine, but please make it public knowledge so people can at least opt out. I myself won't sign up to share space with a bigot.”

Then there was this follow up post by the same anon, who goes into detail of the issues above…

“Sorry for the sudden accusatory ask, I'm one of the people who unfollowed @yanderedrabbles after she openly expressed her support for the homophobe and I was annoyed to see her acting so careless on another blog I follow. I guess she's hoping we'll just forget about it at some point and keeps quiet on her main.

Here's the first post where she explained in many empty words she doesn't care about the issue because the blog has been nice to her and they're friends: https://www.tumblr.com/yanderedrabbles/780435897593315328/hi-idk-if-your-mutuals-with-fangdokja-but-shes?source=share

The problematic post on @fangdokja-anon blog has since been deleted or removed, but I have a screenshot of @yanderedrabbles commenting on it with ‘THATS why your pro pic went all blurry when I logged in. Literally freaked me out so bad. I'm glad to see you reorganising fang! Gonna learn to use AO3 just for you 😘’ while the rest of us were freaking out at the atrocities mentioned.

Instead of coming out and telling us why she chose to publicly support someone who fetishizes stuff like concentration camps and pedophilia she's all giddy about writing for a yandere magazine, like we're dumbasses who'll just swallow up any content. The audacity is amazing.”

Hopefully the last follow up post by the anon that goes into some more history/evidence…

“The post that started this whole drama is from December, but it didn't gain traction until some bigger blogs like ozzgin and moyazaika talked about it, which happened recently. It's still available and you can read it for yourself, including the paragraphs where she explicitly says she doesn't support LGBTQ+ content: https://www.tumblr.com/fangdokja/770117292416712704/blog-rules-guidelines?source=share

The main conclusion from it was that she's (@fangdokja-anon) homophobic, though more people pointed out she's made questionable statements in the past, too. It should've stopped there, but then she made a post basically explaining that she's been gathering an audience so she can switch to different platforms (her website and AO3), where she can finally write without censorship. It was an extremely cringe story about her ‘shackles’ coming off, listing a bunch of offensive topics from the Trigger Warning Database and saying that nothing is sacred and she won't hold back. (Yes, it included the part about children and infants not being safe from it) Same blogs called her out again and she proceeded to block everyone who interacted with those posts. I guess a lot of people reported her blog since it's now hidden and tagged as ‘mature’, for which she had a meltdown.

Anyway, friend (@fangdokja-anon) is against queer people but you (@yanderedrabbles) argue she's actually kind because you haven't been targeted? Suspicious, but I let it sit.

Friend (@fangdokja-anon) publishes entire paragraphs about wanting to write downright atrocious content and you (@yanderedrabbles) comment how excited you are for it? Yeah, that doesn't work anymore, sorry. You're clearly ok with it and that's fucked up. Go support your cult member somewhere else, not in my gay household.”

Since this all seems to be true, please reconsider any relationship you have with @yanderedrabbles and @fangdokja-anon

This person @moyazaika goes into more lengthy detail too of what @fangdokja-anon writes and supports. And remember, @yanderedrabbles also supports @fangdokja-anon

Oh my! Thank you for telling me about this, I had no idea. They will be blocked. This behavior is disgusting - I scanned some of their page now and noticed they posted some really questionable things (like reader only being pale and skinny? lmao yikes). Homophobia or any type of hatred is not something I can accept or stand by.

And to be completely frank and transparent, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be tagged in their mega-recommendations post. I felt like my work was being reduced to just erotica or porn, which honestly hurt me a bit, and to be broadcasted and compared next to other blogs (without being asked first or anything) in the way they did, as if putting us in excel sheets... yeah. But anyways, thanks for bringing this to my attention. time to get even gayer :33

[genderqueerdykes]

i think that certain parts of the community are starting to become more and more exclusionist. like im starting to see a lot more pro-lesboy spaces say "lesboy doesnt mean trans man/cis man! full men cant be lesboys!" or pro-mspec monospec spaces say "mspec monospec doesnt mean being both things for the same attraction! it means being mspec for sex/romance and monospec for the other!! no one is a romantic mspec AND monospec at the same time!" or just. Things like that.

i did not see this ask until now and am i glad you sent it

short answer: yes, agreed, it's petty queer infighting that doesn't need to be happening

so from what i've noticed is most of online queer discourse really at the end of the day is about what an individual person thinks that queer label isn't, and not what it is. people are very nihilistic right now, and really love to take everything in bad faith. we're seeing a rash of reactionary content in general where people take their knee jerk reaction as their stance on an entire complex concept that requires time to digest and process. like literally the most farfetched dogshit take you've ever seen because they just found out about a concept and bullshitted and answer.

certain people wanna think they're experts on queerness overnight because they just realized they're [xyz] or whatever other reason they want to be the expert on queerness. really what it is is people who want to tell other people what it is, but not listen. like it really just is people who want to say "this is how queerness works. shut up because i'm the only one who knows why. don't ask me for a reason". like it's about control. it's about people who have never done any research into queer history in any country on any continent, has not interacted with their local queer community who still want to have a captive audience about what queerness "really is". so instead of learning history and talking to other people they tell you how they feel and spin it as the truth.

other people just send the most bizarre angry posts, asks, DMs, whatever, about how they hate this 1 really specific kind of person that they've never actually met, but hypothetically they would hate. it's mind games. people get caught up in their own thoughts long enough to believe the hypothetical guy they made up isn't real. it's the strawman argument. i don't know what compels humans to do this but for whatever reason, people really love making up a fictional guy to get offended at. it's really bizarre. if cishet men wanted to identify as lesbians, they would literally already be doing it

if you know what logical fallacies are to some extend and have been around internet discussions in general for a long time, you start to recognize the patterns. it's a type of entitled attitude that leads a person to not be in a community for very long. it's a certain kind of person who gets a rise out of being a jackass. like i've tried to word that better. no. that's what it is. like people are aware of the fact that they're being a jackass and continue to do it anyway. people are getting a kick out of this. like. people are chasing the rush you get from fucking with someone. that's all it is. when people say "how can they be so cruel?" they're chasing a mental high that fades extremely quickly, so they have to keep doing it over, and over, and over.

it's like how do i put it. now that social media is so widespread, just about everyone has one on at least a few platforms at this point. people are being exposed to these conversations. and you're gonna have some complete noobs who come in thinking they can define lesbianism because they realized they were a lesbian yesterday and it's like. people will keep fighting the same tired old argument about how trans men can't be lesbians for the 9439030985th time and meanwhile they're ignoring the 50 trans male dykes interacting with one of their mutuals like i think it's literally dumb as hell that there are people on this website mentally abusing strangers on the internet because they refuse to crack open a book, read a zine or open a pdf and read the biographies of real world trans male lesbians, or even just read an article about one. like it's easier and more fun for them to pretend it's not happening it's wild as hell to me

anyway, yes. it's really stupid. people are getting caught up in all the wrong parts of what separates identities. it's the compulsion to draw lines in the sand that is forced upon us in our binary obsessed society. it is likely tied to black and white thinking, and catastrophizing, which both can happen when someone is stressed and looking at a situation in a maladaptive way, either due to perspective or neurotype. sometimes this legitimately can be due to someone's mental health, so it's not an excuse, but it's an explanation for why people get so riled up. those headspaces get you very heated and it's difficult to come down from. it requires a lot of time learning emotional coping skills to walk backwards from those types of episodes

[imagines-by-cleo]

The Smell Of Apples

Part 1 of the Absolution series - part 2 part 3

John Ward x Fem!Reader

CW: religious imagery, priest kink/hierophilia, dub con, dirty talk, phone sex, exhibitionism/voyeurism, mutual masturbation, wet dreams, masturbation, corruption, catholic guilt but sexy, we're getting a few years in purgatory for this

I've been getting way too into Faith the unholy trinity lately and this is the result of that.

There's an interview with the creator where he talks about every ending being cannon and John being a much more morally grey character than people realize so I played with that idea. I'm really proud of how this turned out, I would even be so dramatic to call it my magnum opus. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

It starts as all mistakes like this do, innocently enough. One sunday morning after mass John is sitting there alone in a small chapel reading his bible as he's in the habit of doing. Then you come in, smiling sweetly but he can see something troubling behind your eyes. He returns the smile as he greets you, noticing a faint blush creep on your face when he calls your name.

"It's always good to see you." He says as he closes his bible and sets it aside making a place for you. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Actually, there is, Father." You answer, taking a seat beside him on the pew. "There's something I've been struggling with lately."

"Of course, my child." He comforts you, setting a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Tell me all about it."

The blush on your cheeks returns, growing deeper as you take a moment to find the courage to share your heart with him. "I suppose it's the kind of thing you would take to confession, but I'm nervous. I've never confessed before."

The way you describe your troubles so sweetly leads him to believe you had never committed a sin in your life, he almost wants to laugh at the suggestion before he has to remember you were only human. John understands your hesitation though, being a relatively new priest he isn't entirely confident in his ability to hear sins and offer absolution, but he takes comfort in knowing that your inexperience matched his own, meaning any mistakes wouldn't be noticed right away.

"Confession is meant to unburden you of your sins, it can be daunting at first but you'll feel much better when we're done." He reassures you, keeping his hand on your shoulder as he moves closer. "I'll be here to guide you through every step of the way."

"Where do I begin?" You ask, encouraged by his words.

It warms his heart that you're so eager to take part in this cleansing ritual, while he was nervous at first now he was glad that it was him you decided to come to. Normally this was done in a booth, somewhere with more privacy, but it would be more comfortable for them both to stay there and not bar absolution with pointless formality.

"Usually you would begin by saying the words 'bless me, Father, for I have sinned.' Then you would tell me what's been troubling you." He explains, taking it step by step.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." You repeat, your voice a low reverent whisper.

The way you say that sacred phrase makes a chill run up his spine, though he's not sure why just yet.

"I've been struggling with..." You pause, looking for the proper words to describe your feelings. "Lustful thoughts."

John can feel his face go pale when he hears the subject, then he feels his cheeks heat up with a blush that mimics yours. Not even a few minutes into this confession and he realizes the true purpose of the sacred booth and the privacy it offers. He longs for that safety now but it's much too late, so he continues.

"Where are these thoughts coming from?" He asks, before having to clear his throat to correct to pitch of his voice. "And how often do you find yourself struggling with them?"

"There's someone close to me that I've been thinking about." You admit, beginning your story seeming so unassuming but slowly delving into something more sinful as you reveal more information. "It started so innocently, I just liked the way he smiled at me and now I can't stop thinking about him. I even have these thoughts during service now."

This particular bit of knowledge is the most shocking to the priest, before he had no idea that you were even capable of harboring these thoughts, let alone having them during such a sacred time while he was so close to you. As he continues he worries how this may affect how he looks at you in the future.

"How do you feel about this person? Perhaps what you're feeling is just misplaced love." He suggests, still trying to maintain the image of the sweet chaste girl he had spoken to moments ago.

"I think very highly of him, he's actually a very holy man, but I can't help but have these unholy thoughts about him." You explain, a tinge of guilt in your voice at this aspect of your admission.

John takes a deep breath in, trying his best not to look frustrated as he tries to reason with the two opposing images in his head. "Is it the holiness that you find so appealing about this man? If so it could be your desire to be holy yourself."

"Oh no, it's not like that, it's..." You look away from him as the blush deepens on your face, unable to article the details of your thoughts.

He takes your hands in a comforting gesture and feels them trembling in his grasp, you inhale sharply as you both touch but he keeps his hold steady, determined to be the one to help you through this no matter the discomfort at first.

"There's no need to be afraid, anything you share here is just between us." He assures you, your shaking doesn’t cease immediately but it calms slightly at the sound of his voice. "Now tell me, are these thoughts about any specific actions? Or is it just a feeling of longing?"

You seem to think for a moment before answering, glancing down at where your hands met, back up at him, then away again with red cheeks. "It was just longing at first, then I thought about things like how his hands felt when they were holding mine, and how they would feel touching me in other places..."

John should have pulled his own hands away when you said that, but he couldn't bring himself too. Suddenly he felt the need to hear more of the confessions that made him so apprehensive at a few moments ago.

"How do you feel after you have these thoughts? Do you feel guilty? Or maybe even satisfied?" It feels like a different person asking these questions as they flow from his mouth, but they're driven by a need that is entirely his own.

"I feel so guilty, Father, but I don't know how to explain it. The guilt just makes it more tempting." You tell him, your voice quivering in shame.

This strikes a chord with the priest, he knows the exact feeling you're describing all too well. At this point he knows he should stop, offer penance, grant absolution and go separate ways. Though before he can speak up you continue.

"When I 'indulge' these thoughts the guilt makes it more intense." You explain, raising more questions.

"How do you indulge these thoughts, my child?" He inquires, without the chance think of how bad of an idea it is to delve further into this.

"Oh, Father, it's so shameful." You look away and cover your mouth in reluctance to answer, a faint glimmer of forming tears shines in your eyes as the last remnant of your chaste persona disapates.

"It's a very common struggle for young women, there's no need to feel ashamed. Tell me how these desires take hold of you so we can fight your temptation together." In this moment he feels less like the holy man he should be and more like the serpent whispering in your ear, either way your trust is completely in his hands.

"Well sometimes late at night, when praying doesn't work I-" You pause as your breath quickens, admitting your guilt in barely a whisper yet the words seem to echo through the small chapel. "I touch myself..."

John has already anticipated the words before they left your lips, but they still made him shudder with sinful delight. He could pretend this desire inside him didn't have a name or a purpose until now, but it was unmistakably revealed to be the same struggle that you came to him to have forgiven.

"I see..." He replies, tugging at his collar and feeling the sweat begining to dampen it as the air in the small chapel seems to get hotter and fills with a sweet scent that could only be your perfume. "What are your intentions when you 'indulge'? Is it just to relieve your burden or do you let your mind wander?"

"I only wanted to relieve the burden at first, to get it off my mind, but it felt so good to give in, and now I think about him doing all kinds of things to me." The answer comes out between short and shallow breaths, every question answered on the brink of sobbing. "I shouldn't be feeling this way about someone like him, but I can't help it."

Without considering how inappropriate it might be John puts his arm around you, shushing you as he holds you close. From here he can smell your perfume overpowering the chapel incense, creating a sweet aroma that weakened his resolution with every passing breath. His heart races as he wrestles with his own voyeuristic urges while trying to guide you through your own temptation.

"It's alright, I'm here to help, you can trust me." He assures, though the words are more to convince himself than to console you. "The path to absolution is difficult and frightening, but there's no same in walking that road."

With a few deep breaths to collect your emotions you prepare to finish your confession as you wipe the tears from your eyes. "Thank you, Father."

"Now are you ready to tell me more?" He smiles wide, it's meant to be comforting but it stems from the pride he can't help but feel in his ability to make you trust him so easily. "You've tried praying, but when that fails does this indulgence make your thoughts worse, or do you feel too guilty?"

"Well, I suppose it does both." You answer, no less ashamed of your feelings but much more forthcoming with the details he wants to hear. "When finally I give in the guilt makes it so much more intense, then it's so hard to stop. I do it over and over, sometimes for hours at night."

John holds his breath as every secret is shared, the magnitude of this burden is much more than he even could have imagined in his most sinful fantasies. He wants to be there, to watch you writhe, to make you writhe with pleasure and guilt. For a moment he forgets his purpose, having to remind himself that even if he isn't thinking like one that he is still a priest.

"My child, are you familiar with the concept of penance?" He asks as the most perfect plan comes to mind, it is his duty to help and this will benefit both of you.

"Not really." You answer, though unfamiliar you seem relieved to have the end of your burdens in sight.

Excellent.

"I'm determined to help you through this, for your penance I want you to write down every thought you've ever had about this man." He orders, doing his best not to seem too excited to see the results.

A flicker of doubt flashes in your wide eyes, not in his wisdom but in the practicality of this task. "Every one, Father?"

"Yes, and when you've finished bring them to me so I can absolve you." He adds on, hoping the promise of absolution will make your penance easier to accomplish.

"But, Father, what if someone saw what I wrote? What would they think?" You ask, suddenly sounding much more the innocent virgin John thought you were before this.

"I promise to keep everything you write between us and God." His vow is less for your privacy and more for his safety, but he continues to endanger himself in new ways as his intrusive thoughts get the better of him. "And anytime you ever feel the need to 'indulge' again, you have my number. After you pray about it I want you to call me."

"That might be difficult, you see I've been doing it during the day now too." You tell him, your reluctance born from consideration and kindness he no longer deserved. "I wouldn't want to burden you like that, Father."

John shifts in his seat at this revelation, knowing how desperate you are constantly does the opposite of deter him from this task.

"This is your soul at stake, it's my duty to help you any time of the day or night. This is a burden we will bear together." He reassures you as he does his best to hide the eagerness that burns up his entire body. "Can you do this, my child?"

"Yes, Father." You answer, completely unaware of the path he was leading you down.

"I look forward to hearing from you." Perhaps the only honest thing he had said since the begining of this confession.

He rises from the pew, kissing you gently on the forehead before he leaves and letting his lips linger for just a little longer than they should. Leaving you there in the chapel to contemplate the task you're about to undertake, fully believing it would lead to your absolution. You were so easy to convince, the only thing left was for John to convince himself that this was the right thing and not his own indulgence in the same temptation the woman he was supposed to help had battled.

As the day went on, he almost felt regret, and if he would have dwelled on that any longer he would have called you and put an end to this. One thought occupied the forefront of his mind though, the "holy man" you mentioned. It really could have been any member of the church, but it wasn't so farfetched to think it was a priest, why else would you be feeling so much guilt for natural pleasures instead of just persuing them? If it was a priest then it was likely that it was himself you were thinking of, every time you blushed when he smiled at you suddenly made sense.

It's an intoxicating thought that carries him into the night, imagining being the object of your desires. The innocent crush on your priest turning into something far more serious until it consumes you night and day. There was at least one sin he is committing, though he isn't sure if it's pride in himself or lust for you. If he keeps it in the frame of confession he can continue to believe it was neither and he was only guiding this lost lamb into a better understanding of the desires that plagued her.

The hours seem longer, eventually John finds himself alone with nothing to distract him from these thoughts. Staring at his phone across the room long enough that it had felt like it was staring back and judging him. It isn't too late to rectify this. Of course if he stands by the belief that he hadn't made a mistake there's be no need to correct anything, right?

It's pointless going back and forth with himself like this, he's going to be arguing with no one at all for the rest of the night at this rate. He looks around for something to distract him and the second he does the phone rings, the sound of it rattling his very soul.

He picks up the receiver, his voice hardly sounds like his own as he answers sheepishly. "Hello?"

"Father? I'm sorry to call you so late at night, is this a bad time?" Your voice comes like a siren call from the other end of the line.

"Of course not." He answers perhaps a little too cheerfully, he'll have to make an effort to tone his enthusiasm down as he speaks. "How can I help you, my child?"

"It sounds so silly now that I say this out loud, but I was feeling tempted tonight so I started to write down my thoughs like you told me." You begin to explain, building anticipation with every word.

"It's my duty to guide you through your penance no matter how insignificant your troubles seem." He reassures you, those words aren't entirely wrong; that must be why they twist his heart as he says them in this context. "I'm glad to hear you're taking this so seriously, tell me more."

"Well, it's difficult at night, especially when I'm alone with these thoughts." You continue, a slight shaking in your breath that he can almost feel though the phone. "I think writing them down is making it worse."

"You're tempted to 'indulge' again?" He asks, straight to the point."

"Yes, Father." You admit with a sigh of shame. "I'm so sorry."

John shudders at your admission, for a moment he finds himself at a crossroads. One path where he can offer the guidance that you need, that he is vow bound to give you, the other where he can indulge these new intimidating feelings that are brewing deep in his soul. He was so close to either outcome, knowing he's the first person you think of now when you're filled with temptation. Surely it wouldn't hurt his soul or yours if he asked for details. How else would he help you? How else would he help himself?

"There's no need to aplologize." He tells you, his voice low and soft. "You're not alone anymore, I'm here with you. If it's too difficult to write then you can simply tell me now."

"It's just that... I saw him today and I noticed his lips." You begin, bringing images of when he had kissed your forehead after confession to mind. "I thought about how soft they were, and how they would feel on my skin."

"Go on, the more you tell me the more I can absolve." He promises, dangling salvation in front of you like bait.

"I thought of him kissing me, first on my face, then my body, then up my thighs..." You whisper reluctantly at first but slowly getting more comfortable, every word making your confessors head spin.

John takes the phone over to his bed, exhaling deeply as he lays back. Taking a moment to imagine the feel of your thighs, if you would gasp and sigh like this while being kissed in forbidden places, he even swears he can smell your perfume again. He's drowning in these images, fighting to keep himself afloat.

"You're doing great." He praises, knowing exactly how you blush when he compliments you during the day.

A sharp inhale comes from the other line, an indication his manipulations were working. "I wanted his tongue inside me, I wanted him to make me moan and beg..."

With his eyes closed John relishes the sound of your breath as it grows heavier until he can practically feel it warming his ears from over the phone. Doing his best to ignore the tightness growing in his pants as it throbs to the rhythm of your every sweet gasp.

"I just needed him so bad when I wrote this." You confess as the last remnants of your strength waver. "I wanted to touch myself so bad."

For a moment he considers letting you indulge, though he's having trouble coming up with a good excuse for allowing it. What's left of his conscience is telling him to stop, apologize, hang up the phone, take a cold shower, anything to end this while he can. The coiling heat in the pit of his stomach is telling him, begging him to give permission to give in to both your desires, to have them be forgiven after the fact if they're so wrong.

"You need to ease this burden." He tells you as he reaches for the waistband of his pants, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. "It's alright, go ahead."

"Are you sure, Father? Can I?" You ask with no doubt in your voice, only a desperate need for the permission only he can give.

"On one condition," He adds as an involuntary smile creeps on to his face. "You have to tell me every single thought you have while you indulge."

"Yes, Father." You sigh as the sound of rustling fabric comes over the phone. "I can do that."

The touch of his hand on his own skin burns like sweet hellfire, the kind that would strike fear into his heart and make him stray away from any other temptation but this. When he's finally free from the confines of his pants he inhales sharply, facing his own desires head on. There's no denying it now, there's no way out now.

"What are you thinking?" He asks, his breath heavy and voice low.

"I'm- ugh... I'm thinking of... him. Being here, watching me." You whine your confession, struggling to find the words in your sin clouded mind. "Or listening to me..."

That last part makes him shudder, he lets out a long slow exhale away from the receiver to hide his reaction. "And what would 'he' do if he saw you like that?"

"I don't know, but..." Your answer is cut off by a short moan, followed by a few gasping breaths as you regain your composure. "I would be so embarrased, but I think I would like it."

Once again John can't help but cast himself in the role of this mystery man, he almost wants to demand you say his name, to admit that it was him and you were only fulfilling your exibitionist desires. No, he can get more out of you if he continues to be the devoted priest only interested in your soul. He shudders again at the sinful schemes he only now learns he's capable of crafting.

He pulls his mind away from his intentions and focuses on yours. "Is that what you really want? A witness to your sin?"

"I want it so bad." You concede, your moans mix with what sounds like shameful sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

The picture of you with tears streaming down your face, distraught and begging for both attention and absolution is so vivid he can swear it's happening before his eyes. Here he is witnesing you like you wanted, reducing you to a creature of base desires without even touching you. In every way that matters he is this "holy man" you're dreaming of.

"You have nothing to be sorry for anymore." He holds back his own racing breath to instruct you. "Purge these desires as soon as they come."

Wet slopping sounds can be heard over the phone, your moans shift into a higher key before you simply state. "I want more."

The guise of confession is nearly completely stripped away, John can hardly pretend to be the concerned and doting priest as the images conjured up in his head get even more depraved. As he grips the very instrument of his sin tighter he tilts his head up and mouths a silent prayer of forgiveness to the one he hopes isn't watching now.

"You need this, release your burden." He encourages, both you and himself.

"I want him inside me!" You whine, completely undignified as you pour your heart and soul out over the line.

"Good, good..." He pants, your sins merge, making him as much of your victim as you are his. "Tell me all of it."

You immediately obey him without a second thought. "I want him to make me cum... I want him to cum too..."

John groans audibly as your confession gets more and more intense, what's left of his composure is dissolving with every detail revealed. He knows if he were there he could give the real thing to you, and he would let your moans and pleas drag him straight to hell. His hand now seems like a poor alternative to willing body, but he pumps it faster as he chases those forbidden thoughts.

He swallows before simply asking. "Where?"

"Inside me, all over me, anywhere!" You scream deliriously, making it more and more obvious that you're close to the absolution you seek.

With a few whispered curses John lets the images flood his mind, trying to control his movements so he doesn't act that fantasy before you do.

"Ah! I'm almost- Oh! Father!" You call out to him as you fill the receiver with sweet moans he never could have imagined in his most depraved moments.

He waits for the gasps and wet noises to come to a complete halt before he absolves you, but they never stop.

"Are you still there?" He asks with a hint of confusion, waiting with heavy bated breath.

"I made such a mess... if he were here he could clean it up with his tongue..." You tell him with such shameless detail, the confession was not over.

His mouth waters at that thought as he draws in a sharp shaking breath, unable to draw the line between his perverted thoughts and his controlled act he blurts out. "Let your own tongue carry his burden then."

The heavy moans on the other line are muffled, leading John to believe you were licking the sin off your fingers this very moment. He swallows hard and grips his cock tighter with his now shaking hand as he listens closeer.

"More, I want more." You groan desperately into the phone, continuing to indulge.

He sighs your name along with a a few quiet curses. "Is there no end to your cravings?"

"I'm sorry, it just feels so good, I can't stop." You explain, or more accurately whimper.

John can barely hide how he gives in to his own shameful desires, unintentionally letting out noises he had never heard himself make before while he brazenly fucks his own hand. The bed creaks as his hips buck up into the tight grip of his fist, he lulls his head back and wishes it was you.

"Father! Father!" You scream as your second orgasm erupts, loud enough it practically echos through his own bedroom.

"Yes!" He shouts as you both reach the heights of absolute depravity together.

The tension in his body snaps as the sin covers his fingers, he continues to stroke himself until he's too soft and sensitive to indulge anymore. He lays his head back and waits for the weight in his chest to be lifted, but it only weighs heavier with every burst of sacrilegious release.

There is a long pause before either of you speak, it's difficult to find the words, or any words whatsoever. As soon as your breath slows it speeds up again in a panicked realization of what you had done.

"I'm so sorry, I know I should learn to control myself better, I'm so ashamed-" You babble on a long list of regrets that John is far too dazed to listen to now.

"It's alright, it's alright. You're forgiven." He cuts off your hysterical apologies, as soon as the words leave his mouth he feels something twist in the pit of his stomach.

"Thank you, Father." You let out a sigh of relief as you slowly begin to calm down

"Are you going to be okay now?" He asks, showing scraps of genuine compassion he was surprised to find remaining among his selfish desires.

"Yes, Father." You answer, the serenity that comes with absolution apparent in your voice.

He smiles when he hears your reply, finding some solace in the fact that he was able to help in some small way in spite of everything. "Well then, it's getting late. I'll see you on Sunday?"

"Of course." You whisper into the phone before hanging up, the soft words sound like they were meant for a lover and not a man of the cloth. "Goodnight."

When the call ends John holds the phone to his heaving chest, his heart pounding as he sits in silence for what seems like eons with the weight of his actions pressing down on him. He can hardly move just laying there soaking in the stains of his sin, both reveling in the satisfaction and fearing the inevitable consequences.

There were so many times tonight when he could have ended it, so many times this morning when he could have kept this from happening at all. He didn't even know where to begin asking for forgiveness or if he was even sorry.

Sunday. The day couldn't come soon enough and yet it was creeping up on him along with a looming sense of dread knowing he would fail this test of faith again; and again if the opportunity arose. Something dark in his soul hoped that he would get that chance to sin again.

Sleep does not come easily to him that night.

John's dreams are haunted by the vision of a woman, her voice is smooth as she calls out to him, her soft skin burns to the touch but he can't pull his hands away and lets them sear in her embrace. Even in places he had never been touched before the feel of her fingers and her body pressed tightly against his was so real, in such stark contrast to the ever changing fog of the surrounding dream.

Whispering things he had never said, please, more, more. Moving his body in ways he had never tried grinding, writhing, thrusting. It was both liberating and damning, the only other feeling was the sensation of falling, faster and faster even while he was held so tightly. His eyes jolt open when he hits the ground he can't see.

When his body jerks John is thrust into the waking world all at once, longing for a fraction of the warmth he felt seconds ago. His skin is cold, covered in sweat, there's another wetness soaking into the sheets and rapidly cooling under his body.

Grinding his hips forward in a motion he realizes he must have been doing all through his dreams he feels the remnants of desire he did not expect to follow him into the waking world. With an unsteady hand he lifts the covers to inspect the sensation, finding his pants, sheets and even the bottom of his shirt to be marked with several stains made through the night in various stages of drying.

John lets out a shaking gasp as he rolls forward once again, rutting into the soiled mattress and using it as a substitute for the woman in his dream that he now recognizes. He calls her name much quieter than she had called him the night before, whimpering into his pillow like a plea for mercy.

As he reaches into his pajama bottoms he feels the effects of his sin and his cock throbbing for attention, he must have came two or three times in the night and he's still hard as a rock. His face grows hot and he curls up as if to hide while he strokes himself, though there isn't a soul here to witness his indulgence.

It is the shame that makes it more intense, the guilt even more so. Now that John knew you told the truth about this temptation and he had led you again down that path the guilt eats him alive, and he had never felt anything more heavenly. Every little moan he lets out is something between a gasp in surpise at the sensations he feels and a whine of embarrassment as he pumps his fist faster and faster.

The feeling of corruption fills his body and seeps into his bones, it courses through his veins and makes his heart beat like a doom drum, it clouds his mind and stains his very soul like the sheets he's about to ruin completely.

All these conflicting feelings chase each other around like a whirlwind while John races toward the peak of his indulgence, the guilt and the shame follow him wherever his filthy thoughts wander. He thinks of a circle of hell described by Dante meant for those consumed by lust. He thinks of being damned there together with you. He thinks of you. He shudders.

The morning light begins to shine in his room, gently greeting him like an old friend. Staring at the rays of sunlight coming through the window and feeling the full weight of the bags that have formed under his eyes, John is silent in mind and body. There are no racing thoughts, not images of the forbidden, only an all encompassing shame.

His tired gaze turns to the cross hanging above his bed and the feeling grows worse. It's not the image of pure holiness that makes him ashamed, only how near it is. He knows he's not beyond forgiveness, not even now, he just lacks the will to reach out and take it.

John slowly pulls the covers over his body until he can't see it and hides himself between the stained sheets until he finds the will again.

[blossom-hwa]

shawna 🥺

some of my fave rbs or asks or comments ive received... thank you all :) - no need for anyone to respond or anything to this, just really wanted to put this together more for myself - i doubt most of your remember these but i do heh [more under the cut, and perhaps lil notes too depending on the comment]

the first three!! major huge moments for me. from sha (@dinoshaur) one of the first comments i received on a work that wasn't fanfic exactly. meant the world to me then, and still does now. | from @redevenir the very very first comment (i believe) i ever ever received on the sea is yours to take,, it's been nearly 4 years since i first posted that piece and people still somehow find it, and it all started with that rb | and from choco ! @chocosvt one of the very first comments/rbs i got when i started properly writing on tumblr in 2020, this got the ball rolling on what became (and still is) such a dear passion/hobby of mine (also also can you believe i still use the mlist banner that choco oh so kindly made for me ages ago LOL its beautiful, i'll never get rid of it as long as this blog exists

and moment of silence for my old url :0

the first one... when another line of mine is quoted in another piece of mine's comments... head in hands forever. 2/3 of these were left by @gracefulweather (one for sure is, and i think the uquiz comment was also left by them but not sure) but thank you either way sherri!! | the second sc tbh i don't remember who left it but it was on tsiytt and it made me feel like i achieved something in crafting that world. although i may never revisit that world in writing, i revisit it often in my mind.

flower anon your comments meant so much to me, i hope youre still out there somewhere doing well :) | and to the other anon that left the second one, i was speechless and honored to reach that ask

@hhjs amal's comments have always made me feel like im doing something otherworldly which isn't true at all but i will forever love rereading their tags. also just amal's mind in general, i wanna pick your brain forever

n! i already made an emo missing n post but here are some comments from them lol. and the last one!!! me and water <3333 when people starting associating me with water/ocean/sea/waves too <333333

@heavenlyhaechan zahra!!! there were so many ones i could have put here but this one seemed to sum it all up. you get me :p if you see this, i hope you've been well :))

@dapingu the first and third one are just ones that make me giggle still LOL and then the second one is one that i hold so so close to me cause i had absolutely no idea if anyone would read that piece but then you did ! and you left this comment even after the fact too! i was so touched. i feel like i should personally apologize for making no moves to continue the series (and probably also for deactivating the gifts and sins blog) BUT thank you nonetheless. and as a added bonus you never failed to make me laugh so thank you also for that

@thepixelelf ursa!!!! the first one is horribly cut off but is prob one of my fave notes you ever left on a fic of mine (battling also with that one sunwoo recovery files style inspired drabble) and then ofc i couldn't not mention the 'boo you whore' comment :D also so glad to have you on this site still and to have your friendship and to look at bees and bears and think of you :) you mean the world to me

@kabira manx i think the fact that there are so many screenshots here speaks for itself like... i just simply could not bring myself to pick one !!! i am so lucky to have found you on here. i think in a way you helped me find out what i was good at and what i liked about my own writing before i even figured it out myself <3

@sagescaffeinemania the first one made me laugh and the second one makes me emo. feels like a declaration of love in way but i don't mean that in a weird way LOL i think your support on oasis singlehandedly introduced so many others to that piece, how can i ever thank you for that? and i apologize if i haven't even attempted a thank you yet

@cuppasunu KYU your bulleted comments on my silly long fics always meant so much to me ,, i know its been a very very long time but i hope you've been well

@blossom-hwa lina! best for last some might say. i mean you must know how much that oasis rb meant to me right? because it means the world. i think you calmed every doubt i had about that piece and lifted even higher everything i loved about it too. and the first sc esp, i couldn't have said it all better myself. that scene felt like i risk when i was writing it and im so glad it played out the way i was hoping it to and not the dreadful other way lol | and as for the second screenshot. really i think i love that comment because of how you wrote it more than what you said about the piece if that makes sense. one can tell from that little paragraph alone what a writer(!) you are. i love rereading that comment but i think i mainly just love reading your writing lol (dont think im not making my way through worn out soles)

[aphroditelovesu]

I have some really important information that may concern you and a blogger on Tumblr that I think you might know of, or could be mutuals with…

This was an anon send in that can be found on this blog [censored, blogger doesn’t want people to mistake them being part of the drama, and does NOT SUPPORT the following bigoted beliefs]…

“Ew, you're collaborating with a white supremacist's best friend?

Just a heads up, but @fangdokja-anon has been called out by multiple authors here for being homophobic, fatphobic, and racist, as well as making multiple problematic posts (like wanting to write about genocide and infant SA). The only person who publicly supported her was @yanderedrabbles who praised her in the comments and even made a post to defend her friendship.

It's your choice to have her as a writer for the zine, but please make it public knowledge so people can at least opt out. I myself won't sign up to share space with a bigot.”

Then there was this follow up post by the same anon, who goes into detail of the issues above…

“Sorry for the sudden accusatory ask, I'm one of the people who unfollowed @yanderedrabbles after she openly expressed her support for the homophobe and I was annoyed to see her acting so careless on another blog I follow. I guess she's hoping we'll just forget about it at some point and keeps quiet on her main.

Here's the first post where she explained in many empty words she doesn't care about the issue because the blog has been nice to her and they're friends: https://www.tumblr.com/yanderedrabbles/780435897593315328/hi-idk-if-your-mutuals-with-fangdokja-but-shes?source=share

The problematic post on @fangdokja-anon blog has since been deleted or removed, but I have a screenshot of @yanderedrabbles commenting on it with ‘THATS why your pro pic went all blurry when I logged in. Literally freaked me out so bad. I'm glad to see you reorganising fang! Gonna learn to use AO3 just for you 😘’ while the rest of us were freaking out at the atrocities mentioned.

Instead of coming out and telling us why she chose to publicly support someone who fetishizes stuff like concentration camps and pedophilia she's all giddy about writing for a yandere magazine, like we're dumbasses who'll just swallow up any content. The audacity is amazing.”

Hopefully the last follow up post by the anon that goes into some more history/evidence…

“The post that started this whole drama is from December, but it didn't gain traction until some bigger blogs like ozzgin and moyazaika talked about it, which happened recently. It's still available and you can read it for yourself, including the paragraphs where she explicitly says she doesn't support LGBTQ+ content: https://www.tumblr.com/fangdokja/770117292416712704/blog-rules-guidelines?source=share

The main conclusion from it was that she's (@fangdokja-anon) homophobic, though more people pointed out she's made questionable statements in the past, too. It should've stopped there, but then she made a post basically explaining that she's been gathering an audience so she can switch to different platforms (her website and AO3), where she can finally write without censorship. It was an extremely cringe story about her ‘shackles’ coming off, listing a bunch of offensive topics from the Trigger Warning Database and saying that nothing is sacred and she won't hold back. (Yes, it included the part about children and infants not being safe from it) Same blogs called her out again and she proceeded to block everyone who interacted with those posts. I guess a lot of people reported her blog since it's now hidden and tagged as ‘mature’, for which she had a meltdown.

Anyway, friend (@fangdokja-anon) is against queer people but you (@yanderedrabbles) argue she's actually kind because you haven't been targeted? Suspicious, but I let it sit.

Friend (@fangdokja-anon) publishes entire paragraphs about wanting to write downright atrocious content and you (@yanderedrabbles) comment how excited you are for it? Yeah, that doesn't work anymore, sorry. You're clearly ok with it and that's fucked up. Go support your cult member somewhere else, not in my gay household.”

Since this all seems to be true, please reconsider any relationship you have with @yanderedrabbles and @fangdokja-anon

This person @moyazaika goes into more lengthy detail too of what @fangdokja-anon writes and supports. And remember, @yanderedrabbles also supports @fangdokja-anon

I'm not mutuals with any of the people you mentioned, anon. But I did see what was going on, albeit from the outside because I haven't been online on tumblr lately. I was so disbelieving that I just blocked them and decided not to engage with them. Ah, prejudiced people in the yandere community that have so many topics and subjects that can be explored? I'm not going to lie that THIS took me by surprise.

I'll speak for myself: my blog is a safe space for everyone, regardless of sexuality, gender, religion, or anything. I'm bi myself and have written for sapphic relationships, just as most of my content is gender-neutral so that everyone can identify with it, with no description of the Reader's appearance or gender unless someone specifies it in a request, otherwise it's neutral. Just like the issue of a specific religion or beliefs for a given context, I've written about Christian!Reader once because I was asked to, and I remember receiving something about Atheist!Reader and Jewish!Reader as well. I, Larissa, am agnostic and don't have a specific belief, but I respect all religions and beliefs equally.

As I said, my blog is open to everyone but I do not tolerate, in any way, any kind of hate, homophobia, transphobia and any kind of hatred towards any person or community. So, if you are homophobic or have these kinds of views, please block me.

Just like when I write about Child!Reader is and always will be platonic (I never wrote and I will never write about pedophilia) and the yanderes tend to be more softs because the Reader is a child.

And honestly, in my opinion, why would you be a friend of someone who does not agree with your sexuality or your way of life because of their beliefs? I, unfortunately, have already dealt with many people who said that "God created man and woman the rest is not natural" and I know how it is. And many of them are my relatives, sadly.

With the wave of hate growing more and more towards the queer community, I see it in my country, online, and in other places too, I avoid these as much as possible this kind of things and people. More and more I see queer people being attacked for no reason just for being who they are. And that's so fucking sad and wrong!

Anyway, I just wanted to say these things. I'm not spreading hate towards anyone because I don't do that, but it's sad to see that we're increasingly regressing and the hatred towards queer people is increasing more and more, instead of people opening their minds and understanding that human beings have been queer since the beginning of humanity.

[captainjacklyn]

Love, Love, Love Part 1-ish

A/N : a small fic made from this incorrect quote which I promised a part 2 and here it is just- longer.

Context : Rollo gets transferred to NRC for a few months, The Headmaster decides that he would be staying at Ramshackle Dorm much to Malleus' dismay (along with grim and the first years who are aware of the truth). Yuu doesn't find it nice either but with time they allow the third year to open up to them, eventually growing mutual respect for one another, perhaps some friendship..and a bit more.

Warning(s) : fluff, hints of rollo liking Yuu, this is a continuation of some sort to my joke so pls understand that it isn't from the beginning, Rollo might be OOC he's just scared of Yuu, they/them pronouns for Prefect !

A bit of background..

"I'm back from dealing with the principal's casual destruction ! How are you boys holding up ?" The prefect announced their arrival back at Ramshackle the moment they got in. A smile, half glad it was over while the other half expressed their passive aggressive bitterness from when taking care of other people's jobs. Grim was laying on the couch looking at one of his notebooks to try and study for an upcoming assessment. Rollo flamm, a new temporary resident of the manor was reading a book of his own next to the fiery raccoon, his attention turned to Yuu when he heard their voice.

"Ah. Welcome back Prefect, are you alright ?" He asked, placing his volume on the side and getting up from his seat to take their bag. Yuu thanked him and stretched their arms before walking over to Grim and patting his head. The feline let out a hum as his henchman did so and once the bedroom door closed, the two occupants glared at each other.

"Weasel."

"Simp"

.

.

.

.

Since it was the weekend, most students had the option to rest their minds or do the opposite of relax because of a test. "Hey guys what are you doing ?" This current scene happened a few days after the first, Yuu was once again returning to Ramshackle. Though this time, they stopped at the small gates when they noticed their first year friend group staring at Rollo from a distance.

When the Prefect called out to them, Ace quickly turned around and shushed them. "We're observing the enemy." Deuce explained in a hushed tone, They only chuckled at their antics and Epel attempted to defend their choice of pass-time. "We don't what he could be planning this time ! I mean he's gardening right now, you know what that means.." The way his tone of voice changed towards the end of his sentenced made Deuce frown in remembrance of that incident.

Yuu shook their head with a knowing smile as they approached them and ruffled Epel's hair. "Don't worry, I'm making sure he doesn't make the same mistake. He's getting better, I promise." They didn't buy it but Ace nodded along with a shrug, possibly considering the option since he wasn't there when it all happened.

To reassure them, Yuu continued as they all looked back at Rollo who was watering the plants at the entrance. (he stated that it would look nice because of how dried the yard was, Yuu only agreed as long as he did the work) "I'm sure he'll change into becoming a nice normal man...very normal." then Rollo started to spin around as he watered the flora. The collective all narrowed their eyes, "That's not very normal." Yuu commented.

In a minute he changed his stance completely and went back to his original position. "That's normal." The prefect spoke while pointing at him to prove their judgement, Adeuce and Epel nodded their heads at the same time. However they all scrunched up their faces and tilted their head to the side a second after Rollo sprayed fertilizer in his eyes.

Yuu ignored it and gave Deuce a pat on the shoulder. "Anyways- It's gonna be exciting to have someone new around. Nobody is born bad, I promise you that. I'll get to know him and we can all share our lands...even though I feel like contradicting my own words." they muttered under their breath as they walked away from the group and pass the gates, to go speak to their tenant who was..performing strange water rituals. "Flamm !"

Their voice was firm enough to have the eyebag silver-haired individual look their way the instance they spoke. Mostly because they made it very clear that they were the boss around this area, by using threats that is..brutal ones to say the least.

"Oh hello Prefect, I was just taking care of the plants-" "Yes I know you were performing your bizarre holy water ceremony." They cut him off halfway and right when he was about to say something, the not-so-genuine smile on their face made him change his mind. "Uh Yes..that was it." he accepted their statement, learned a while ago that saying no to someone who could force him to sleep in mud wasn't the best option.

Then Yuu suddendly perked up. "Oh right I came back from Sam's shop to bring you these, just like you requested." Reaching into their satchel, the magicless student handed him a few bags of flower seeds. He offered a small smile as he took them, "Thank you." Rollo responded, they answered with another smile and although they were serious, it was much more for setting something straight rather than intimidating him. "I trust you, Rollo..And I really hope that your brief stay with us helps you with whatever you're..going through I guess." Yuu carried on, Rollo looked at them for a while as he took in their words, he then gave them another small smile.

"Thank you..I appreciate it." They chuckled as he spoke softly. "Just looking out for my non-non magic user !" they joked.

A little further off was the trio of freshman watching the scene unfold in disbelief.

"He has to go."

"Agreed."

hope you liked reading this, part 2/3

[wordsmithic]

Hi, sorry if this comes out as a ramble, but your Troy ask made me rewatch the movie (for the umpteenth time, lol), and it brought a lot of old feelings back, both good and bad. The good is how much I adored the Iliad as a child and that's something that still thrives today—since I was a kid, I loved Greek mythology in general, partly because I'm Palestinian/a fellow Eastern Mediterranean, so there is a lot of overlap in our histories, cultures, customs and myths, but the Iliad has always been a favorite. Hektor is my favorite character (and I love him and Andromache), but I also have an immense soft spot for Briseis... and now to get to the bad, rewatching Troy reminded me how a lot of people erase her and her role—and her romance—to Achilles in modern retellings. Now, I'm not going to argue which Achilles ship is the best (especially because that man is a hoe, if we're being honest), I don't care. My problem is the modern erasure of Briseis and the other women in Achilles's life that are romantically entangled with him being reduced to, "He's gay, actually." It reads biphobic if you believe him queer (Patroclus too, who had many named women concubines/slaves), first off, misogynist second. He has a son with his foster "sister," Deidamia, and in some versions even married. In the Iliad especially, Patroclus tells Briseis Achilles will marry her and Achilles himself refers to her as his wife/bride, stopping a whole war when she's taken, and she's even allowed to aid in Patroclus's funeral rights. In some versions, Achilles falls for Polyxena, and tries to make peace with Troy so he can marry her. In the afterlife, Achilles chooses Helen as his wife for some reason. Just... all these women, with complex situations and feelings, are all reduced or erased in modern tellings (and usually for a man/Patroclus), and it makes me want to scream. People use the excuse of, "We don't like the romantic situation they're in," but then claim to "better" it by... erasing or reducing these women and their complex roles and feelings from the story overall? Brieseis, for example, mutually loved Achilles and saw him as a husband... he also killed her first husband and brothers, and you can argue part of her love is out of the need for survival. Yet, she greatly mourned him when he was killed, too. And if exploring this complexity is still not your yum, what about Polyxena? Wouldn't she fit the girlboss archetype of using Achilles' affections to gain his trust, before stabbing him in the back (literally)? Or Deidamia, who's young and left at home, bereft of her husband and son? Heck, try and fill in the gaps how Achilles x Hellen happened, if you must. All these women have an important role in the story, and to Achilles, that could be explored—but people don't because they dismiss what's already there or don't know anything about The Iliad outside modern retellings (mainly The Song of Achilles). So, we get people claiming things that are untrue ("Achilles and Patroclus are exclusively gay!"... in some myths, they're actually relatives/distant cousins, fun fact 😭), and acting like they fixed something by "adding" onto "flat female characters" in a way that reads inauthentic and ignorant to the source material. I get wanting to prop up one's chosen ship, it's just the hypocrisy of promising to be more progressive in one area, but diminishing the progressiveness of another, that kills me. Anyway! Sorry for the rant, I just have a lot of feelings I wanted to share because of the movie and I know you've talked about all this before—it's just something hard to discuss on the internet without people coming down your throat 🥲. Anyhow, justice for Briseis, is my rallying cry, I love her so much, queen made a whole war stop for her and managed to escape from Agamemnon unscathed. Queen who launched a thousand ships to my heart 🫶🏻.

I'm glad you re-watched it! It's a beloved of many Greeks since the movie is quite epic and makes you understand some of the original's glory. Hector, Andromache and Briseis are some of my fave characters in the movie, and it made me also look out for those characters when they appear in the text.

Btw, I would love to know a Palestinian's pov on our shared traditions and myths, how do you guys learn the Greek myths, what parts of them have had perhaps an affect on your heritage and since when, etc! 😍

Briseis' situation is complicated one because many people won't catch the nuance of her living in a patriarchal society as a war captive and thus developing a strange co-dependence to her captors. In addition, the Homeric Epics are a work changed by time in the Greek society, as people added and altered stuff, so many storylines have been affected by other layers of patriarchal societies. So of course the notion of "slave girl mourning her captor's friend" would seem natural, because they probably don't consider a slave woman's POV. Or perhaps she was in the mourning because she had to be there as a woman "belonging" to the Greeks, and the text does not mention it explicitly because it a given for the era. (I don't recall the whole relevant text sorry)

I am not sure if the average author - judging by what is published in the Anglophone market - can handle the complexity of Briseis and other women in the Trojan war. For Briseis one could go for a romance there but they'd have to depict all of her psychosynthesis properly, so it doesn't come off as "Achilles killed my family but he is hot so I love him". To be fair, it is a challenging task but I am still sad that I haven't heard retellings that do this well. Such a retelling done well would be chef's kiss!

As you said, unfortunately, the writers for now focus on the couple Achilles x Patroclus which, ok, let's accept it since it's a ship and there is some background to it (although those guys are most likely 1) cousins 2) very close to each other like brethren in a way westerners misinterpret). I've enjoyed Song of Achilles and I am surely not against such works, but you are right that the female heroines are reduced to flat characters. A fandom full of women manages to be misogynistic - again. We shouldn't be surprised because misogynistic influences are very strong in our societies still, although many don't see it 😕

[hangingslothcentral]

Today is the fourth anniversary of the day I launched Spirit Box Radio, and it's also the last day of trans awareness week.

I have a lot of big feelings about SBR. If you've listened to the show, you'll know that I was medically transitioning through its release. I went on T at the show's midpoint, in the middle of S2, and my voice was changing throughout the rest of the show's run. I got top surgery two months after the show ended, almost exactly to the day.

Now. We're all big enough and daft enough to be able to have a grown up conversation about this, I think. So here's some stuff about that experience I haven't really talked about before.

1. I wish there had been media which had trans creators transitioning alongside a character who is transitioning when I was younger. The main reason for this is that it would have been representation of trans people, but honestly? The main thing I wanted was to see someone transitioning over a long period of time. So often, transition seems to happen behind closed doors. Unless you are lucky enough to have lots of trans people around you (I grew up in semi-rural Wales so no luck for me there) you just do not see it happening. People, understandably, want to hide the length of the process, the messy in between stages.

2. Transitioning and playing Sam transitioning simultaneous to me was one of the most mentally challenging and emotionally vulnerable things I've ever done. I do not say this lightly; I'm a survivor of abuse and I've seen a lot of shit in my life. I've come out as nonbinary at a corporate job and argued with a university about changing my name on my graduation certificate. As much as I loved it, and still love it, and I'm intensely proud of it and SO glad it exists, making SBR was fucking brutal. Hours of editing my own voice through a period where it sounded different on a near-weekly basis. Having no idea how I sounded anymore and posting episodes anyway. Dealing with the emotional fallout of people responding weirdly to me in my real, actual life whilst portraying a character who is outcast, isolated, and terrified of himself? Challenging as fuck.

3. Many people need to examine the way they're talking about trans men. The conversations around Sam shifted very violently as my voice dropped. This is in part due to the arc this character follows, but it's hard not to notice a shift in language as dramatic as this. It started as soon as the show came back from its S2 midseason break and my voice had shifted down a bit. People talked less about Sam being cute, and for the first time, I started to see people talking about him like he was sexy. These things aren't mutually exclusive, but it was very noticeable to me, especially in contrast to conversations about Oliver, Sam's hot, cis gender, florist boyfriend, who was categorised as sexy from the off. Before my voice dropped, even though they were using the right pronouns for them, people talked about Sam with very feminine, infantilising language, and this almost entirely stopped when my voice dropped.

4. I am so fucking glad I did this. Yes, it was brutal, emotional, and I really struggled through a lot of this process, and I am so glad I did this. I will have the immense privilege of medically transitioning in the way I have over the last few years exactly once in my life. I am glad I took that vulnerable moment and made art with it. I'm glad that my transition is captured and mirrored by this thing I was making at the time it was happening. I'm glad that thousands of other trans people have listened to the show and have heard me doing this as they are doing it, or before they do it, or after, or as they're deciding not to, or finding out they can't, or realising they'll never have the chance, or any one of the myriad experiences of transness that exist. I am, frankly, honoured to have been a part of such a vulnerable aspect in the lives of so many people.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for listening to the show, if indeed you already have. If you enjoy my work, I would love to be able to pay my bills and be able to keep making it. I have never made even minimum wage for the work I do on my shows. Please consider becoming a member.

[riddle-me-fear]

Hi Riddler! Big fan, love the riddles and the murders etc. I was wondering if you have any friends besides Crane, or does your big brain, ego, and obsessive compulsive swagger make friendship unnecessary? Or maybe just not viable ? Maybe you should ask Joker out for coffee, he seems like a reasonable guy.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Eheh, oh this oughta be intrestin'.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Quiet, you! This question is for ME! Anyway, contrary to popular opinion, I do have what I'd consider friends. But you are right about one thing, in the past I've indeed found it extremely redundant, and, as you've mentioned, unnecessary to have anything but employees, acquaintances at best. That was until...

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Penguin.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Yes... Until Oswald... But! That's in the past now, no reason to dwell on it. Nevertheless I've learned the value of friendship, as cheesy as it may sound. Friends are more useful than mere acquaintances, more reliable, and also far less likely to betray me. You know, dear anon, I find your first instinct to name the Joker as a potential friend quite amusing, and I don't know if you're stupid, ignorant, or downright trying to insult me. No, friendship with the Joker is more Selina's thing, even if I still cannot understand how or why she does it. Well, that aside, let's get back to the far more important subject - me, obviously.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Pff, obviously.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I will choose to ignore that taunting comment this one time, Jonathan. For now. A pressing question must certainly be on your mind, dearest anon - Who are The Riddler's friends? Luckily for you, I am in a good mood to provide you with an answer. Firstly, Jonathan and I have a mutual friend very dear to us, Waylon Jones, otherwise known as Killer Croc. Comes as a surprise, doesn't it? Moving on, there would be fellow intellectuals I quite enjoy the company of, such as Calendar Man, Clock King and King Tut. Harley is also a friend of both myself and Jonathan, despite me continously making efforts to wipe her clown boyfriend off the face of the earth. I have Jon and Pamela to thank for that. Speaking of Poison Ivy, we're sort of on good terms with her, but I wouldn't consider her a friend.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Ya forgat someone.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Hm? Mmmh no, I'm fairly certain that's all of them.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Tetch.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

The Mad Hatter- Oh please! He may consider me his friend, for whatever ungodly reason, but the feeling certainly isn't mutual!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Aw come on, Eddie, he ain't that bad. He likes you.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

He is an irritating, disgusting little lunatic, I truly do not understand how you can tolerate him. His "tea parties" which he forces you to participate in, if you want to keep your head, is the dullest, most understimulating waste of time- I swear I've lost a couple of my precious brain cells because of him. Ah, and also, did you listen to anything I've said before? The whole "less likely to betray me"-bit? We're both running out of hands to count the many times Jervis has bailed, ditched us, and sold us out.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Hm. Fair point.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye on that matter. Haaaah, in any case, thank you for the questions, dear anon. I think I've quite excelled at answering them, if I say so myself. Now one last thing before I stop talking, as I can see Jon's patience waning from the corner of my eye. Since you're a fan of my riddles, why don't we end it on one, hmm? I'll even go easy on you.

Riddle me this!

I am alive, but do not breathe. I always move, but never truly leave. And if I die, you will die with me.

What am I?