#anyways I’ve had a major crush on her for the longest time and we are pretty close and joke around and this month and last have been so..

[softforallofit]

I left things off on the wrong foot with her before I left work tonight and now I feel terrible about it :/

[hischierswhore]

eternal pining | jack hughes

pairing: childhood bff!reader x jack hughes

warnings: major angst // unrequited pining // slight cursing // probably other stuff that i missed

author’s note: this might be the longest fic i’ve ever written??? anyways i’m backkkk and hopefully i’ll start being consistent soon. i have so much planned and this has been in the works for quite a while now.

You were sitting on the couch at the Hughes lake house as you discussed your plans for the day. Well, more like you were listening to Ellen & Jim as they told you that they would be leaving on a trip for a few days and Jack was just there. He was on his phone, typing aggressively like the world would end if he didn’t finish whatever he was typing.

A sigh left Ellen’s lips when she realized that her middle child wasn’t even paying attention to what she was saying. You looked at Luke & Quinn, who both also saw that he was just not focusing. Quinn extended his arm to hit Jack’s knee in attempt to get his attention.

You said bye to Ellen & Jim, wishing them a safe trip before helping them carry their bags to their car. As you made your way back inside, you plopped right back into the same spot you were in before.

Moments passed and you turned your phone off, sparking conversation with Quinn & Luke about what the groups plans were for today.

“What do you guys wanna do?” You asked, hoping someone would come up with something fun.

“Boat day?” Luke suggested and you nodded in agreement.

“Are you gonna join us, Jack?” you questioned as you turned around to look at your best friend. His eyes didn’t shift from the device in his hands, causing you to roll your eyes.

You were annoyed, so you moved off the couch and walked to your room to change into your swimsuit.

"Where are you guys going?" Jack asked as you, Quinn & Luke walked towards the deck, his phone now off and on the couch.

"Boat day. We were talking about it but you were too indulged in your phone to even contribute to the conversation" Quinn stated as Jack's mouth formed an 'o' shape.

"Are you joining us or not?" Luke asked, waiting for his brother to respond so he could finally get some sun.

“Oh uh yeah. I'll join y'all. Just give me a few to change" He hopped up from his spot on the couch and went to his room to change while you made your way outside, the other Hughes brothers following.

10 minutes passed and Jack had not yet come outside. You were all getting rather impatient and annoyed with the boy.

"Can we just go without him?" Luke sighed, beyond frustrated with his brother. Just as he said that, the boy trotted out of the house and down the dock to where you all sat. You all immediately noticed his lack of swim trunks and rather a button-down shirt & some jeans.

"Hey guys. Sorry to bail on you all but I've got a date in like-" He looks down at his phone for a moment to check the time. "20 minutes so I've gotta get going. See you all later" Jack waved as he hugged everyone goodbye.

Your heart shattered the moment you heard "a date". You had been hopelessly in love with your best friend since you were kids. You'd known the Hughes brothers since you were 6, and you'd all been inseparable since day 1.

The ever-growing crush you had on Jack was evident to everyone around you except for him. Quinn and Luke would relentlessly tease you when you three were together. Hell, even Trevor and Nico would join in on the teasing whenever you saw them.

You faked a smile at his words, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in your eyes. You looked around at Quinn and Luke, who had already been looking in your direction, knowing damn well what you were thinking.

"Have fun, J. See you later" You said as you looked down, seeing as your mood had now been more ruined than it was before and you didn't want to deal with all your emotions, or rather the cause of these emotions, right now. You knew that if you made eye-contact with the boy, you would have a breakdown.

Jack jogs back up to the house and shuts the patio door, leaving you and the two other Hughes brothers on the boat for the day.

2 pairs of eyes immediately found your figure as you curled into a ball on the couch and let it all out. Both boys immediately came to your side for comfort, knowing how difficult this must be for you.

Luke rubbed your back as you sobbed while Quinn held you in his arms, holding you ever so carefully.

Hours passed before you all decided to head inside.

“I’m gonna head up to my room. If he asks, I'm out. I don't want to talk to him right now" You told the remaining brothers before going into your room and locking yourself away.

— later —

Jack arrived back at the lake house.

“Hey, where’s Y/n?” He asked as he wandered into the living room, noticing his brothers sitting on the couch watching a movie but you were nowhere in sight.

“She went out” Quinn simply said, not feeling the need to give his younger brother details.

"Out? What do you mean she went out?"

"She's not here, Jack. She wanted to go out so she did" Luke shrugged, trying to focus his attention back on the movie.

"And you both let her go by herself?!" Jack was practically shouting.

"She's 22 years old, Jack. She can make her own decisions" Quinn paused the movie to turn his attention to his brother. Jack let out a huff and sat next to his brothers to watch whatever movie they had put on, still ever so slightly upset that you had gone out without him.

20 minutes had passed since that initial exchange when Luke's phone got a notification. He glanced down at it and immediately got up and excused himself to the kitchen with a simple "I'll be back".

“What’s up with him?” Jack whispered to Quinn, who shrugged and paid no mind to his brother's curiosity. Moments later, Luke emerged from the kitchen and raced upstairs quickly.

You had texted Luke asking him to bring you some medication for the growing migraine you had from crying nonstop. He quietly knocked on the door to avoid attracting Jack's attention. You slowly unlocked the door and let the boy in as he handed you the pills and a bottle of water.

"You good?" He asked as you had a hand on your forehead and your eyes were red & puffy.

"I'll be fi-" The words got lost in your throat as you heard footsteps ascending the stairs and you saw the one person you did not want to see: Jack.

You muttered "shit" as you tried to hide behind Luke's tall frame, which was to no avail.

"Y/n? What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be out?" Jack asked as he made his way to your doorway.

"I uhh, came back early. Didn't feel too great" You lied through your teeth.

"How'd you come in? And when did you even come in?" Jack questioned you as he leaned against the door frame.

"Came in through the back door. Didn't wanna make too much noise to interrupt the movie" You slowly tried to push your door closed, but Jack was blocking the way.

Luke was stood there, watching the encounter unfold.

"Oh what's that Quinn? We need more popcorn? I'll grab some" He shouted down the stairs to remove himself from the extremely tense conversation he was witnessing.

“What’s wrong?” Jack's voice was low as he slowly pushed the door open and grabbed your hand.

“I’m fine, Jack. I just don’t feel good” You were on the verge of tears as you pulled yourself out of his hold.

“You look like you've been crying, Y/n/n... did someone say something to you?" Jack's anger slowly increasing at the thought of someone hurting your feelings.

"Nobody said anything. More so what you did. But I'll be fine, I'll get over it" Thankfully, he had back up enough to give you space to close the door, and his reflexes weren't fast enough to grab the door handle before you shut and locked it, leaving him on the other side of the door.

Your words left Jack extremely confused. More so what you did. What in the hell did he even do?

Once you had locked the door, you slid down the back of it as more tears spilled freely onto your cheeks. Why did you have to fall for your best friend?

Jack stomped down the stairs, confusion & frustration written all over his face as he threw himself onto the couch.

“What the hell did I even do?” He screamed into one of the cushions. Quinn & Luke exchange a look before ultimately deciding to tell him bits of the truth.

“You went on that date” Luke said quietly, praying that Jack has heard him the first time so he wouldn’t have to repeat himself. Fortunately for Luke, Jack lifted his head up as soon as the words left his mouth.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jack was more confused than before. He didn’t understand what was going on.

“How is it that we all see it except for you, dude? She’s in love with you. She’s been in love with you for years now, and you’ve never once noticed or acknowledged her feelings. It’s evident to everyone in our lives except for you. You leaving on that date today made her feel like shit” Quinn spoke.

“Well, it made her feel more like shit than she already did before. You neglected her all morning because you were on your phone and then when we all agreed to go on the boat, you bailed on us and she felt more forgotten than ever before” Luke added onto Quinn’s speech.

Jack sat there in shock. There’s no way that you, his best friend of 16 years, were in love with him. He couldn’t fathom the thought, but slowly the realization sank in and now he felt horrible for his behavior. He didn’t mean to hurt you. He never knew.

He didn’t say anything before he raced up the stairs and knocked on your door but received no response.

“Y/n please let me in. I want to talk to you. Please hear me out” Jack pleaded as he rested his ear against the door, listening closely in hopes of hearing movement on the other side.

Silence. All that could be heard was the sound of the fan circulating air throughout the room.

Quinn & Luke had followed him up the stairs and watched as Jack slowly fell to his knees infront of your door. They’d never seen him like this before.

“J, she needs some space right now. Let her get some rest and talk to her in the morning. It’s the least she deserves” Luke suggested as he placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

— the next morning —

You woke up to a massive migraine, probably from all the crying you did last night. You felt uneasy as you stood from your bed and made your way to the connected bathroom.

You knew you’d have to see him again. You couldn’t avoid him, hell it was his house.

You braced yourself for the day as you washed your face and changed into something more comfortable before heading downstairs for breakfast.

You overheard a conversation taking place as you silently made your way down the stairs, in hopes of not alerting anyone of your presence quite yet.

Just as you turned the corner and entered the kitchen, silence filled the room. You chose to not acknowledge it, just as Jack had not acknowledged your feelings for him.

You felt multiple pairs of eyes on you as you grabbed yourself a bowl to pour some cereal. You slowly carried your bowl to the dining room, where everyone was seated.

It was only then that you had noticed the extra eyes staring at you. Seated at the table included Quinn, Luke, Jack, Trevor, Cole & Nico. The latter 3 must’ve flown in early in the morning because they weren’t here last night when everything happened.

You softly wave at the 3 boys before placing your bowl on the table.

“Morning” you quietly said as you sat on the bench between Quinn & Luke, which was ironically as far away from Jack as possible.

Small talk is made and you barely speak unless you’re spoken to. You quietly converse with everyone except for the middle Hughes brother. He hasn’t said a single thing to you this morning except for stare at you occasionally when he thought you didn’t notice. Of course you did, you always noticed.

Breakfast finished & you kindly collected everyone’s dishes and headed towards the kitchen to clean them.

You stood infront of the sink on your own for about 5 minutes when you felt a presence behind you.

“Can we talk?” You knew that notice all too well. You placed the plate in the sink as you turned around slowly, resting the plane of your hands on the edge of the counter.

You took in his appearance for the first time since he left for his date yesterday afternoon. His eyes were swollen, much like yours, and his hands were fidgeting at the back of his neck.

“Sure” You simply spoke, not wanting to be the one to bring up the elephant in the room. Jack cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Could we maybe go outside? I’ll get Luke to do the dishes or something so we can talk in private” He suggested as you nodded your head.

Jack led the way to the backyard before holding the door open with a simple “After you”.

You sat on the couch next to the fire pit, leaving Jack to sit next to you.

You sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the calming breeze the morning had brought. That peace was interrupted when Jack cleared his throat and turned to face you.

“I want to start with an apology. I genuinely had no idea that you even felt neglected yesterday. I was a shit friend and I shouldn’t have ditched you for someone else. I know I messed up. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me til now to realize how you feel towards me. All this time I thought it was just you being friendly, I never knew you liked me. I was so confused by what you meant yesterday that the realization didn’t click until Luke & Quinn said it. I couldn’t believe the fact that I had been the one to hurt you and I will forever be sorry for that”

Jack looked into your eyes, and he swears he could see your heart shatter into a million pieces at every word. God, how he wishes he wasn’t the reason behind it.

“I’ve been in love with you since we were 6, Jack. I’ve spent years pining after you, only to watch you pine after every other girl on this planet. This summer was different though. You paid no mind to other girls and you treated me like I was yours, and I stupidly believed that things would change between us. That was until yesterday. You act all lovey with me one second and then suddenly I’m nonexistent the next” You watched the frown grow on his face as you spoke.

“I’ve never been in a relationship because I’ve been holding out hope for you, Jack. Hope for you to finally come to your senses and see that I’ve been here waiting for you this whole time, stupidly thinking that my chance will come” Jack stayed quiet as you let it all out.

“I’m in love with you, Jack. I have been for the longest time and I really shouldn’t be” You cried into the hands as he stared at you in silence.

“Y/n/n…” Jack was at a loss for words. He didn’t know you felt that strongly about him, or that you watched everything unfold from the sidelines of his life.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/n/n”

“It’s okay, Jack. I’ll be fine, I’ll get over it. I just don’t know if I handle anymore heartbreak” You sobbed as Jack brought you into his embrace, holding you in his arms.

Despite you feeling this hurricane of emotions, his arms still felt like home to you. He felt like home.

“I hope I’m not too late” He whispered softly, causing you to remove yourself from is hold, a look of confusion spread across your face.

“Huh?” You sniffled as you wiped your nose.

“I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you. Not even, the second I saw you holding that little bear of yours as you walked into your new house, I knew you were someone special. Someone who would be the only consistent person in my life besides my family. I always thought you saw me as a friend and never anything more, hence all the failed relationships. I’ve tried to get over you so much since I thought you’d never return the feeling. I looked for you in other girls, but none of them were you, so they never lasted. You have been the only person I have truly wanted since we were 6, Y/n/n. I now know that you’ve felt the same this entire time, and I have somehow misread everything for 16 years. The timing of this is horrible and I’m afraid I may be too late, but please know I do love you, Y/n/n. I always have & I always will” Jack confessed as he held your hand in his.

You searched his eyes for some sign of this being a sick and twisted joke, a prank that would forever haunt you and ultimately be the end of your friendship with the boy.

But you found none of that. You found love & hope & sadness. He hoped that the love he had for you was enough to fill the hole of sadness that he had accidentally burned into your heart. He hoped that you would forgive him and give him a chance to redeem himself.

A shy smile appeared on your face before you removed your hands from his to wipe the tears on your face, and the tears that were slowly trickling down his.

“I love you too, J. You’ll always have a chance” A goofy smile took over your face as the boy brought you into a tight hug, holding you there for what felt like an eternity.

After who know how long, he finally pulled away and let you breathe.

“I’m so happy right now that I could kiss you, but I won’t solely because we just made up and I’m not trying to ruin my chances & lose you again”

“Oh shut up” You placed both hands on the sides of his face & pulled him for a kiss.

The world felt like it had stopped but like it was also spinning simultaneously. The butterflies you got in your stomach when his lips touched yours felt heavenly.

Jack, who was a little taken aback by the kiss, immediately kissed you back once he realized what was happening. One of his hands found its way to your face and the other at your hip.

You wish you could live in this moment forever, and you genuinely believed you could, that is until you heard cheering coming from behind you. You both pulled apart to see Quinn, Luke, Cole, Trevor & Nico all cheering from the patio.

“THEY FINALLY DID IT!!!” Trevor shouted as he jumped up and down.

“Hurt her again, Hughes & you’re gonna regret it” Nico said before making his way back inside the house. You looked back to Jack to see him gently caressing the back of your hand.

“Wouldn’t even think about it” he smiled as he pressed a kiss to your temples, holding you closer than ever before.

[sw2-serials]

The Tawse – Not My Favorite

It’s not just that the tawse is such and ouchie strap – a lot worse than most the others – and never folded – it’s how Mrs. Ortiz uses it, and where, and why.

I admit I was being a major ‘B’ but I was trying to be careful, it’s hard to stay out of trouble when I’m in that mood and sure enough, I didn’t.  I’d been grumbling all morning and didn’t realize that she was about sick of it until she said she’d be going to some shops I find really boring and wanted me to come along and I said ‘If I have to.’  She got particularly annoyed because she wanted to buy me some clothes more suitable for when we hang around with her friends – really nice clothes, and though I get off sometimes on being told what to do, being told to wear new clothes basically because the ones I own aren’t good enough sometimes rubs me the wrong way.

(Poor Mrs. O, sometimes it rubs me the wrong way and sometimes I find it super-exciting, having her just rip the way I dress, my shoes, my grooming (especially, for some reason) – so I understand that I make it really hard for her.)

Anyway, one solution is that when I do react the wrong way, I get the tawse – sometimes just for starters (not often – once I’m told, I usually go into almost a ‘spell’ of submissiveness.  The fact that she had to warn me was frightening, thrilling, and super-hot).  To be taken home – no longer in a hurry to get there – and punished in a very particular way…

Of course there was shopping to do first, but by now I was completely meek, seeing every item for its full ‘required’ potential and feeling worthless for being ungrateful for some really lovely stuff.  Mrs. Ortiz has a great eye and never puts me in something that would embarrass me – I always end up looking great! (though putting me in something awful would serve me right sometimes, I think I may even prefer the tawse to that).

Unfortunately, by the time we got home she hadn’t changed her mind and by now I was convinced that I deserved it (though not the cane as well). So…

What she makes me do is strip, all the way naked, and kneel in a doorway with my head touching the floor (well, on my hands which are on the floor).  This in itself is a very submissive, groveling pose but it’s just the start. 

She approaches, tawse in hand (though I can’t see) and stands straddling my head.  Holding the doorjamb for balance, she leans forward so she can whip me straight down the middle of my bottom!  (Yes, exactly like you are thinking!)

At first I crush my legs together and keep my bottom as high as I can.  The cleft of my bottom and backs of my thighs gets it but that’s the best place in this situation.  The tawse has a truly awful sting, and really hurts!  But that’s about right because I haven’t been behaving very well, being rude when she’s doing things I normally really want her to do – even demand (in a way) that she does!

So I deserve it, even though it’s awful, and when she thinks I’m ready, she’ll give my back a little push and tell me to lower it.  This protects my thighs (if they’re getting it too, too badly sometimes I do this a little anyway) but opens up my cheeks for a much ‘better’ whipping (as she says).  Even if I don’t get it ‘there’ (on my rosebud) it still hurts like you really cannot believe (and if one does land ‘there’, there’s no way to describe it (though she usually gives me a little break)).  Sometimes she puts it right down the middle, one strap on each side (that’s how I always think of it), sometimes both go on one side (or more likely, one will go heavily on one side (awful) and the other goes down the middle which, unbelievably, is nowhere near as bad).

When she’s had enough of that she tells me to spread my knees but allows me to raise my bottom again.  This is not good!  It lets her bring both straps down the inside of my thigh – or, on my left, angled across my thigh, biting way inside and low!  These are the ones that let me know how bad I’ve been and hurt the longest afterward.  It also lets her angle some across my cheeks with the tips of the tails landing in awful places.

I know what you’re thinking – do I get it ‘up front’ and how do I stand it?  The answer is basically ‘no’ and ‘I couldn’t’.  The tawse is just too bad for that!  She did, one time, ‘tap’ (I didn’t think so at the time!) me there.  I shot forward like a bullet from a gun! (She had been expecting it and had just stepped out of the way).  She didn’t apologize or say it was a mistake, just told me to get back in position.  For a long time I kept expecting another one, always aware of how vulnerable I am (also, um, it’s scary but exciting in a physical response way) but she’s never used the tawse that way again!

It’s a really hard punishment to take though knowing I must deserve it plus the position plus her insistence – I wouldn’t dare resist in any way – makes it, well, not easier, but possible.  Also, I usually grab one of her ankles early on and both about halfway through.  For this particular punishment Mrs. Ortiz brooks no nonsense, allowing no begging and telling me to keep in position and reminding me how I know I need it.  And it’s a little easier because we go straight from that to having me serve her, turning over (despite my tortured behind) and getting right to work on satisfying her.  I know when she walks in that she’s not wearing panties and will get her reward just as soon as she’s gotten me straightened out!

upper photo from @servitor-again

[magnhild]

Before the Dawn didn’t ‘retcon’ Sun- an explanation from an actual writing major

Since the release of Before the Dawn, the sequel to RWBY’s After the Fall, I’ve seen a lot of different takes on it, but there’s a consistent one that it completely and utterly absurd- the idea that Sun Wukong’s persnality was ‘retconned’ for the book. The idea is, quite frankly ridiculous.

Before I get into why this take is so stupid, let me first explain what a retcon actually is, seeing as this fandom has so little understanding of the word. Retroactive continuity, often shortened as ‘retcon’ is a literary device that ignores or outright contradicts something already established in a work’s canon. For example, one actual retcon in RWBY would be the DC comics, while being canon, showing Ruby talking in full scentences shortly after Summer’s death, when Yang previously stated in the show that Ruby could barely talk when it happened.

A retcon is not something being explained differently or adittional information being given towards soemthing, even if these other details hadn’t been come up with to begin with. Salem’s backstory, for example, is not a retcon of the show’s opening narration, because not only is the opening narration very simplied so that it’s easier for the auidence to understand, but it’s also done by Salem herself, who would natutally not be telling the full story.

Now, the case with Sun is not the first time I’ve heard the claim that a character was retconned in the novels. While I don’t know if it’s at all a popular idea, one Redditor ranted at me in fury about how bad After the Fall must have been if it characterized Velvet as at all sassy because we’d never seen her that way in the books, ignoring my attempts to explain that, realistically, shy people are not going to be as shy around people they know well.

The couple of times I’ve shared these screenshots on Twitter were met with the same scorn I felt upon recieveing such responses (espeiclaly since the last comment was posted around two weeks after the rest of the conversation). So, when people failed to see that the situation with Sun was the same, it surprised me.

People claim that BTD characterized Sun completely differently as he is in the show. This is...weird, but I can slightly understand why people would jump to the conclusion that the personality he has in the book is somehow different to his personality in the show.

The first thing of note is that Sun still very much exhibits the personality traits that he’s known for; the positive ones. The very prologue of the book shows that, even in a fight, he’s still cheerful, easygoing and goofy, and we see several moments of this throughout the entire book. The second thing is that 99% of his scenes in the show are with Blake, who he has (or had) a literal crush on. Of course he would act differently around her and her friends than he would around his team, or people he didn’t care as much about. Right away, this shows that his personality was not contradicted and was, thus not retconned. But, of course, I have more to say than that.

The first big complaint regarding something that was indeed added in the book- or, at least, that we didn’t see in the show (given how Sun is not at all a character of focus) is that he’s shown to be angry and on-edge at certain points. And yes, this is not soemthing we saw of him in the show, but it’s also not out-of-character, and very easily understandable. Sun returned to his team expecting everything to be fine and dandy after a quick apology for leaving them, so when they don’t instantly forgive him and are still angry with him, he doesn’t understand, and thus becomes angry with them in return. He had an idea in his mind of how things would go, and when this didn’t go to plan and he continued to be confronted on his flaws, he can’t help but be a little salty about being treated this way by the people he’s known the longest among the main cast. For him, it’s a personal issue. The only reason we never saw him this angry in the show is because nothing ever personally affected him. He had no reason to be truly angry at anything because they were Blake’s problems, not his, and while he would natually want to help her out, he didn’t have any personal feelings towards the matter. But his team are supposed to be his friends, and here they are, not forgiving him after he apologized and everything. In his mind, he was being critizied even though he thought he’d fixed the problem with a simple apology.

The second big complaints are those of how Sun’s not-great relationship with his team throughout most of the book are contradictory to the last time we saw him in the show. People thought that his acknlowedgement of his shortcomings as a leader meant that he was going to be an instantly better one after the fact. These people fail to realize two major problems with this- the first being that there’s no rushing personal improvment. It’s very weird to me that people thought that Sun could instantly become a better leader when he was such a bad one in the first place. The second problem is that Sun, despite his name, is not the brightest bulb, and I say this in the nicest way possible. It’s made clear by both the show and the book that, while he acknowledged that he shouldn’t have ditched his team for several months without explanation, he still failed to realize the seriousness of his actions, or how the team dynamic was affected when he came back and took over again from Scarlet’s temporary leadership. As mentioned in the above paragraph, Sun thought that he could fix everything with a simple apology, and that it would absolve him of all wrongdoing. But more importantly, but the end of the book, he has realzied the weight of his negligence and that he needs to work harder to gain back respect from his team. And yet, critics ignore this and seem to this he acts badly throughout the whole book with no change in behaviour, when this couldn’t be further from the truth.

The third complaint, and the most absurd to me, is that Sun’s dismissiveness of serious situations and regular insensitivity in the book are out of character. Excuse me, but...did we watch the same show??

Perhaps it’s easy to forget because we haven’t seen him in show for a while, but these are two of his core personality traits, especially earlier on in the show. It seems that the fanon depiction of Sun as a sweet and loveable himbo who can do no wrong has caused a lot of people to forget his very prominent flaws, but Sun has always been this way, from as early as Volume 1. He treats serious situations as a joke or bit of fun, and he is constantly making insensitive comments, even to Blake, who he likes. Just to show a few, with replies from Blake for context regarding the second two:

From Black and White:

From Of Runaways and Stowaways:

From Menagerie:

Even in situations where he isn’t outright insensitive, he still frequently exhibits a struggle to read the room. He fails to understand why Team RWBY don’t want him and Neptune coming with them, he fails to fully understand why so many faunus take issue with humans despite being a faunus himself, and he fails to understand why stalking Blake across a continent was a very, very bad and creepy thing to do, even if he had good intentions. In fact, he never even apologises for any of this, at least, not that we saw, so it’s enitely plausible that it’s not soemthing he’s learned from.

So the fact that he continued to demonstrate this insensivity in BTD is very much in-character. That has always been a part of his personality, even though it’s often played off as a joke.

With all that said, it really bothers me that people list what is, in objective truth, a deeper insight into Sun as a character, as a flaw of the book. This is not a flaw. I’ve been studying writing through university for over four years, and believe me, showing that people act different depending on the situation or people they are around, as well as expanding upon any flaws they might have, is good writing. Something is not a ‘retcon’ because it contradicts your headcanon, or what you wanted to happen. That would be like if Nora were (not that I think she ever would be) confirmed cis and I called it a retcon because I headcanon her as trans. That would be stupid. 

After the Fall and Before the Dawn are honestly amazing books. They do have their issues, but character writing is far from one of them, and I would, in fact, consider it one of their biggest strengths. The way they flesh out both pre-existing and new characters, the way they can get us to love them within just 20-something chapters, is wonderful. They dive so deeply into even more minor characters, and make them all unique. So the idea that characters like Sun and Velvet were written badly because they were expanded upon and further characterized than they were in the show is an absolutely ridiculous concept, and one that I’ve hopefully changed people’s minds on with this.

Sun was not retconned. You guys just need to remember that the picture you paint of a character in your head is not always going to be the way a character is in canon. We’re not Adam defenders, people (at least, I hope not). 

Anyway. Read the RWBY books. I don’t care if you have already. Do it again.

[spenciegoob]

The Fifteenth

A/N: I’m so sorry in advance.

Pairing: Spencer!POV x Fem!Reader

Category: Angst/Fluff

Content Warning: death of a major character, talk of drug abuse, mentions of blood/cases (usual criminal minds terminology), mentions of panic attack/depression

Masterlist

Word Count: 2,163

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As I sat down with the woman that made me feel whole, I felt the familiar serenity of her presence fill my senses even as the rain around us poured down in sheets. The pressure felt like sharp, cold glass sinking into my skin, but with her in front of me, I couldn’t find myself to care because her warmth held me like it was always meant to do.

“Hi, sweet girl. Do you remember the day you told me I was your world for the first time? I think about it everyday. I wish I could go back and just-”

She laid her head on my bare chest, her hair spreading out to tickle my sides, and her arms tucked securely around my back. Usually, a position so intimate would cause me a great deal of discomfort, but with her it felt natural; peaceful; perfect.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” She asked out of the blue. Even as a whisper, the question startled me. Before, in the moments of serene quiet, her breathing evened out, and I thought she was fast asleep. I was about to allow myself the relief of saying everything I couldn’t find the perfect words for when she was awake, looking at me with those loving eyes I fell in love with.

“I love you, too, Y/n.” But that answer did not satisfy her. She pulled her head from it’s previous position to look at me directly, and while I love to look at those eyes, the tears that welled there were gut twisting: soul crushing; heart wrenching.

“I mean it, Spence. You are my whole world.” A tear escaped when the words left her mouth, the ones that caused my own eyes to water, threatening to join hers.

I brushed my thumb across her cheek, catching the fallen drop before it finalized on my chest.

“And you are mine, sweet girl.”

“But what I meant to say was you’re not mine. Y/N, you are bigger than my world. You are the sun, the one that I rotate, the light that I need to survive, the power source that keeps me habitable.”

I had to clear my throat before continuing. 

“The first day I met you, you unknowingly saved my life, and to this day, I regret not telling you until now. It was the day I quit. I didn’t understand it then, how my mind changed so suddenly, but now I do. It was that smile, it was always that smile-”

I need a fix. Just one. It was one of the worst cases I’ve ever worked. I deserved a fix. I would say it was out of my control once I set that text message, but it was long before that. The second the jet landed my mind had been made, and once that happens, not even me could stop it. 

So I walked out of my apartment into the night that held too many unknowns, pulling myself further into my jacket and keeping my head down. I know that no one knew me to judge, but if I were to look at the very few strangers as they walked past me to live their own equally as destructive lives, I would’ve felt daggers piercing my skin instead of a needle that night.

But then I turned a corner, and from my position with locked eyes on the concrete, I could see a head come into my vision, hit my chest, and fall to the ground.

“Oh my g- I’m so sorry I wasn’t loo-” I had started to explain myself before a giggle interrupted my plan. I allowed my eyes to forget the laser vision on the sidewalk, and meet the eyes of the source.

My god was she beautiful. Her eyes so full, looking up at me from the hard ground with something that could only be described as pure, unadulterated joy. 

“It’s quite alright, I wanted to be on the ground tonight, anyway.” I titled my head, peculiar with the beautiful strange woman on the ground, but when she let out another giggle at my confusion, I couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle.

And then she held her hand up, silently asking for help from the position I so rudely shoved her into. While I would usually politely decline hand-to-hand contact, it didn’t feel right to refuse to help her stand after I all but tackled her.

So I took her hand, and the warmth generating from her in the cool night was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for so long.

When she regained her balance in front of me, she asked the question I least expected her to.

“I was just on my way to get coffee. Would you like to join me?”

“Wha.. I um- I’m a stranger on the street that just pushed you to the ground, and you’re asking if I want to get coffee?” When she nodded, I asked her another question, hoping to be able to teach her a lesson in stranger danger she so obviously lacked.

“How do you know I’m not a murderer?”

“With kind eyes like yours? I find that highly unlikely.”

“How could I say no to you? Y/N, you were my guardian angel that night. I didn’t look back when you linked your arm with mine, and led me to your favorite coffee shop. I still go there, you know? I don’t even have to order anymore, they just silently start making my coffee when I make my presence known-”

“Can I have an iced french vanilla with 3 pumps of liquid sugar?” She asked the barista Sam who had already started punching in her order before Y/N started speaking.

“What the hell did you just order?” I couldn’t stop the question from leaving my lips. Whatever concoction the barista was making was quite possibly the weirdest coffee order I’ve ever heard.

“Hey, Sam, can you make it two?” She��ordered another instead of answering my question. “Trust me, stranger on the street. It’ll change your life.”

“Oh, um, my name’s Spencer by the way.”

“Well, stranger on the street named Spencer, I’m Y/N, and it looks like our coffee’s ready,” she said to me with the most beautiful smile. That smile can cause grown men to drop to their knees. Quite frankly, I almost did. She was the most peculiar and intriguing woman I had ever met.

She grabbed the two cold drinks and sat on one of the many different couches around the tiny shop. I just watched, my eyes following her lead without my control as she put me in a trance her presence induced.

“You coming?”

“Oh, uh, yeah sorry.” She only giggled as I quickly shuffled my way to her. We were the only people in the cafe, not surprisingly so as it was 10:42 pm on January 15th, a Tuesday night.

“You, Spencer, are infatuating.”

“Me? Why me?”

“It has to be something in those eyes.” We stared deeply at each other for what felt like an eternity, even if it was merely a second too long. She was the one to pull away as if she was done studying whatever she found. 

With a deep inhale, she shook her head and handed me my beverage.

“Allow me to change your life?” She asked like I wouldn’t let her if she continued to beam at me the way she did.

But instead of freaking her out and saying that, I took the coffee from her hand, and hesitantly took a sip.

It was so sickeningly sweet, like drinking melted candy with the amount of sugar to send someone into sugar shock. It was perfect.

She was perfect.

“When I first started showing up to work with a large iced coffee that was basically cream with a dash of coffee bean, I got weird looks. Derek even made a couple comments, but I didn’t care. It was a part of you you decided to share with a stranger that night. Eventually I told them the story, and now when I walk into the bullpen with the same coffee like clockwork, they give me solemn looks, but no comments.”

“The day you met them was one of the best days of my life, even if it was by accident-”

“Reid and Morgan, I want you two to go down to the dump site. The woman who found the body is there, I want you to interview her.” Hotch’s voice boomed. It was a local case, and while no case is the end goal, the locality was enough.

I got to go home to lay in her arms.

Derek and I drove to the site, bouncing off theories to each other to fill the time. When we got there, news vans had already taken up most of the space, and a sea of reported crowded behind the barricade. 

We shuffled our way through, avoiding eye contact and the “dire” questions from the press. When we made it to the front and flashed our badges, one of the officers led us to the body.

A prostitute in an alley. Easy profile, not so easy scene. There was major overkill, the blood from the body deep in the hallway trailed all the way to the sidewalk. It was only 7 am, my theory being a morning jogger found the trail and followed it to the horror show.

“Do we know where the person who found the body is?” I asked the officer who was next to me.

“We tried to ask her questions, but she got too worked up and couldn’t breathe. She’s on the back of the ambulance now I believe.” A panic attack.

It wasn’t uncommon for an unready participate in a criminal investigation to have a panic attack. Not everybody was made to see such things.

Derek and I made our way over to the ambulance when we started to hear a very heated argument.

“I AM FINE! There’s no reason for thi-”

“Y/N?” There she was, sitting in the ambulance, fighting with the EMT who was just trying to do his job. I don’t know who I felt bad for more in this situation. She knew how to win an argument, trust me.

“Oh Spence, thank god.” She quickly got up to crash her body into mine. I don’t think there was a speed that would be sufficient when it came to how quickly I squeezed her back. “It was so scary.”

Her body started to shake with tears she was probably holding in. She didn’t like to cry in front of me for the longest time, let alone hundreds of cops, reporters and pedestrians. 

“I know, sweet girl. I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m so sorry.” I ran my fingers through her hair. It aways calmed her down.

And it seemed to partially work, because she pulled her head from my chest to look up at me with wet cheeks and terrified eyes.

“I just... I was runni... She’s d-”

“It’s okay. You’re okay. It’s over now, okay?” Slowly she nodded, her eyes trailing down to her feet. That was until Derek spoke up. In the midst of my concern, I had completely forgotten he was there.

“Uh... what?”

“Oh Derek, this is Y/N. My uh, my girlfriend. Y/N this is Derek.” She looked up to find my baffled coworker looking between me and her and smiled. Hey, his stupidity got her to smile!

“So you’re the lady’s man he tells me about?” Shit.

“Hey now wait a minu-”

“Maybe we should go back to Quantico. You’ll be safe, and we can ask you questions when you’re ready, yeah?” I had to deflect quick, but Derek would rip me a new one for this.

We all piled into the SUV. I got in the back knowing that she gets car sick back there ever since she was a little girl.

“So, you and Spencer, huh?” Maybe that was a mistake.

“They loved you so much. I loved you so much. I still love you so much. I miss you every day of my life, but it doesn’t hurt to think about you anymore. Life gave us all the time it could spare, and I am so grateful I literally ran into you that Tuesday night 8 years ago. Sometimes I hate my mind, my eidetic memory is a curse on it’s own, but when it comes to you? The memories we shared I will never forget are the ones that keep me fighting. You still keep me going, sweet girl. You always will.”

With that, I got up and placed the sunflowers on top of her headstone, brushing off the dirt and leaves that accumulated during the fall season.

The rain stopped pouring then, and the sun shone down on me. On us.

My sun.

____

Join a taglist here Tell me your thoughts on this fic here Have a request? Send it in here

[cloveroctobers]

Requested: no, I’m going off a angst prompt list here and there.

A/N: I’ve always had this storyline for Jordan in my head but also for who it’s surrounded by, so therefore this one will have a name & it COULD be a series if there’s enough feedback that is! I’m shaping it by where we are now present time in the series and I’m excited that we’re getting season four with only three episodes out! YES!

Anyways since I wrote a piece for Chris I’ll do this in hc form and the next should be a full written out piece depending on what my day is looking like the next time I can write. Happy Sunday and if you’re experiencing another snow storm like I am, keep warm & safe!

warnings: usage of “foul language” , mentions of abuse & drugs

LOVE BLIND — Part i. | J. Baker

It was Layla’s bright idea for everyone to head up to big bear for winter vacation, after how this senior year was going— the teens all needed it

If there was any opportunity for Delphine-Soleil to get away from her parents, she was the first in line. So when Layla called her first through a Group FaceTime delivering the news, it took seconds for Delphine to get up and yank her hard-shell suitcase from underneath her bed

“Wait, is this just a girls trip?” Delphine asked, hunching back in front of her phone lens that was resting on her vanity

Layla took a deep inhale at that, “actually...I’m pretty much inviting everyone?”

Delphine let out what may have been the longest groan until Olivia popped into the group chat

“What’s the reason for this?” Olivia asked

“Layla wants to invite...everyone. Which I’m assuming means the boys, majority of them I like as you both know, but I know one is going to be up my ass in particular, so my peace will be interrupted at some point on this trip I’m so sure.” Delphine explained with her hands, something she commonly did, which Olivia pieced together quite quickly

Delphine-Soleil Wateridge was the childhood friend of both The Baker Twins and from a young age all the adults just knew Delphine and Jordan were going to be together. Of course if you looked at the situation then, you would wonder why the adults were so keen on forcing? Or speculating that these two children would be romantically involved but that’s another conversation for another day

Delphine couldn’t recall the first time she realized she actually had a crush on her best friend but a part of her was in deep denial about it for awhile; she couldn’t like Jordan. It was just not ideal for her?

She was more of the touchy-feely friend who had no issue holding your hand, resting her head on your shoulder, cuddling, etc. you could say her love language was touch and that’s how she expressed it if she cared for you. She was always like this, even as a kid with the Baker twins

Don’t get her wrong, she loved Jordan but she couldn’t be IN LOVE with him. Why? It just didn’t seem right, she literally grew up beside the kid and they’ve seen the gross, the ugly, the worse, and absolutely the best of each other but she didn’t believe in the whole “friends to lovers trope.” Delphine felt like that ruined relationships

It wasn’t until freshman year of high school when Jordan started to turn heads (from even the upperclassman)

when he got his first gf, “Hadley” Delphine slowly felt that she was more than jealous, she was in love with Jordan fucking Baker!

But that wasn’t even the worse part. He dated his first gf for maybe about a month or two then broke it off because he liked someone else and was trying out for the football team? The poor girl no longer fit into his criteria

Which brought more attention to him when he was on the team and then dated two more girls that same year and started spending less time around Delphine, which was whatever ya know? She was never dependent on Jordan Baker

She and Liv started to get into the party scene, which was not healthy at all since it became an addiction more so for liv but still an issue overall for delphine’s well being

It was sophomore year when Jordan hit his growth spurt and became muscular taking the gym seriously...TOO seriously while also encouraging Delphine to try out for track again since the other coach tried to get her on the team freshman year

Delphine was a bit of a diva and a shopaholic with a past of being a kleptomaniac if she couldn’t buy (which she could with her parents $ since her parents were wealthy) something she was going to steal it...she went to therapy for it and got rid of the habit but shopping? That was never going away

So when the thought of exercise was brought to her attention, she laughed about it but Jordan and Mr. Baker persuaded her since she was super fast as a kid and used to win the races on field day. She had the speed and the legs

Her father was thrilled that his daughter found a real hobby that didn’t require running up her credit card bill and her adoptive/step-mother was indifferent about it...she felt delphine could do something better with her time

You can’t say Delphine didn’t try cause she did try out, made the team, and then quit the team once she caught a few of the girls talking shit behind her back + she hated the pole vault and didn’t like being told what to do, her coach took this shit too seriously and delphine hasn’t done gymnastics since she was six? So wtf did she need to stretch her body out like she was Mrs. incredible???!

Fuck that team and fuck track and field

so she sat off from the field after she told pretty much the entire team they could kiss her ass, smoking a joint while letting the sun warm up her face when it suddenly became blocked “hey the world is big enough as it is, get your own damn spot ‘cause this one is mine, fucker.”

“Wow, your mouth gets worse every time someone pisses you off, Delly.” Jordan laughed moving to plop down beside his friend and bumped his shoulder with the fair-medium skinned girl’s

“Must be the Aries in her, Jordan.” Olivia’s voice came in from behind, approaching the two smiling with a shake of her head as she squinted out towards the field watching as the track team kept sneaking glances over at Delphine who kept the joint in her lips and raised both middle fingers in response

Jordan quickly reached over with a small laugh to pull delphine’s hands down who fought against him, “stop with the astrology bs, liv. It doesn’t matter.”

“Typical Taurus thing to say.”

Jordan frowned, “Are we not twins?”

“Taurus boy.” She corrected

“I’m a man.” Jordan argued, earning a snort from both girls

Nonetheless things took a turn for the worse for Delphine and Jordan’s relationship when it was the end of sophomore year where Jordan was freshly single and asked Delphine if they could be each other’s first so they could both be “prepared” when they found someone else to do the real deal with...

“it wouldn’t mean anything” according to Jordan

Delphine was at a lost for words when Jordan brought it to the table. Part of her didn’t expect this from Jordan or to at least ask HER to participate! Delphine’s never “done the deed” and never had guys that she claimed as her bf’s since she never got out of the talking stage

“It was a stupid idea, forget I ever asked.” Jordan tried to back pedal when Delphine sat silent after she closed her agape mouth a couple of times

“No...it was just bold.” Delphine said getting up from the kitchen stool, “let me think about it JB and I’ll get back you.”

“A-are you serious?” Jordan managed to get out as Delphine began retreating from the room with her school bag tossed on one shoulder, “h-h-ow long—

“Jordan! Don’t push this, I’ll let you know.” Delphine interrupted over her shoulder, trying to ignore the nerves that sat in her belly trying to leave the place as quick as possible

It’s not like she didn’t want to, it sounded like a not so bad idea? At this point, Delphine knew how she felt about Jordan so maybe she was letting this crush cloud her judgement into saying yes but she thought about it for a total of three days before they both set the date

And that’s when everything changed

Junior year came around and Jordan Baker was a complete asshole, a typical jock now. What del didn’t know was that he got himself a new fling maybe a month after they slept together and spent the entire summer with Ripley while continuously blowing del off to be with her instead

The drama around that? Was too much, and went too far with del having to beat ass which Jordan found humorous? His ego was too big for his brain now and it disgusted del. she didn’t want to be his friend anymore so...she stopped

Del and Jordan became enemies once he found out that she was involved with someone else!!!?

who then became physically, s*xually, and mentally abusive, which didn’t become knowledge until Olivia and Coop went snooping finding where the Pakistani girl was since her parents said she hasn’t been home in a week and went 2 weeks missing from school

This said drug abuser bf shockingly got off with probation and was still allowed at Beverly high which was not great for del’s state of mind

The best deal del was given was a restraining order against the guy, that was the BEST they could give her

she picked up stealing again, smoking weed more than usual, got some tats, cut her chest-length hair up to the nape of her neck, partied and slept around even tho that was always triggering for her now but she hid it well

No one was ever going to have control over her again not even Jordan Baker

There was a point where Jordan did have a change of heart after learning what she went through with that pos and even threw hands with the guy resulting in his suspension and finally an explosion for the other but he kept coming around to deal and taunt del until security finally caught him

Del and Jordan didn’t talk until he and ripley broke up or rather she broke up with him? And he felt like he needed to say something, realizing that a part of him was missing... but it all felt like insults on how del chose to live her life, she wasn’t doing anything different than what he was, except her situation was a little different as a result of her new persona

It hurt the both of them not to be friends anymore. Underneath all that anger that is. Friendship break ups were 1000x times worse because that always felt like a forever love, you feel more secure in friendships but unfortunately that didn’t work out for Jordan and del

she smoked and dropped acid while he slept around up until the point one hook up had him shook, miss. Simone was having his baby and Delphine sure had some shit to say about it

Until...it wasn’t his baby! yet he wanted to still stick around and del couldn’t believe Olivia was more here for this relationship than the previous ones. Del didn’t get it and maybe she didn’t have to because she was no longer in Jordan’s life

“well I guess that means you won’t be riding with us then?” Olivia asked with a hopeful look in her eyes

Delphine pushes her lips out in thought, “so there’s already car arrangements for this?”

Olivia cringed looking off to the side hoping Layla would jump in to answer, which she did, thankfully

“Uh, yeah! Olivia and I kinda discussed it. It would be Spencer, Coop, Patience, and I in my car. Asher and JJ are coming up together, I extended out a invitation to Vanessa—

“I’m sorry, what did you just say and why the hell would you do that?” Delphine asked, eyes wide and brows furrowed. Olivia let out a low sigh in response knowing this was coming.

Layla continued, “—but she’s not sure if her mom is going to allow her to since usually they have a bunch of family come in. We’re not planning to stay through Christmas or New Years, even though I wouldn’t mind that...I have to respect it.”

“Again, why? She’s not any of our friends, plus wasn’t she trying to start shit with Liv and Asher, to excuse the fact that they were emotionally cheating and with Asher’s pick me ass? Of all people?” Delphine was too confused about this and why Olivia seemed to be okay with it?

“We can’t put the entire blame on just Vanessa. It takes two and Asher lied in the first place, that’s not really Vanessa’s fault is it?” Layla tried to look at it from the Latina’s perspective

Delphine rolled her eyes ready to say more but Olivia spoke, “Guys! I’m not making it that big of a deal so neither should the two of you. Asher and I are done and are moving past it so who am I to stand in what he really wants? If that happens to be Vanessa, It’s fine. And I just want to have a good time with my friends, that’s it, okay?”

With a pop of her tongue Del went to say more, most likely a threat towards Asher but Layla cleared her throat already knowing how their hot-headed friend could be, “As I was saying, She’ll let me know by tonight since we’re leaving in two days! So that leaves Jordan, Simone, and Liv—

“I’m guessing that’s a no on riding with us then, Delleil?” Olivia asked using the nickname she often called the dark haired girl

“I’d much rather balance on my tongue the entire trip there as my source of transportation than ride in a car with your brother, k thanks? Liv.” Which erupted laughter between the other two girls behind their screens

“That’s a new one and very dramatic.” Layla commented with a smile still on her lips.

“And not to mention extra.” Liv added with a shake of her head

“I mean that.” Del stated earning a nod from both of her friends

“We believe you.” Olivia and Layla replied in unison

Del shuddered away the thought of being in a car with J*rdan for over 2 hrs, “anyways! Is that all for this guest list?” She pressed looking at her chipped nail polish

“There’s Chris...so maybe Vanessa can catch a ride with him only if she decides to come up, if not Chris can possibly ride with Liv and the rest? and I wanted to surprise Spencer with Darnell, he’s coming in for a few days to visit Mrs. James and Dillion, then he’ll be up and will be leaving first to get back to his mom.” Layla explained, Del didn’t miss how Layla kept throwing Liv’s exes her way.

Why didn’t she offer Chris to ride with her group instead? Chris is one of Spencer’s best friends...sure Layla’s car wasnt much bigger than Jordan’s but since she’s instructing everything couldnt she get a rental? but del wouldn’t say anything unless Olivia did. If she didn’t care then del would let this go

“What about Kia?” Del had to throw that in because she decided that she liked the girl the few times she was around her

Layla kept a smile on her face nonetheless too excited about getting to the snow, “I didn’t think to ask her.”

“Why? ‘Cause she’s Spencer’s ex?” Del added bluntly while Olivia muttered something, getting up from her couch taking her phone with her, knowing this could be huge disagreement or minor, it all depends on the girls

Layla flicked her eyes up at that, “that literally has nothing to do with anything and I don’t have her number. There’s nothing deeper to why I didn’t, I just didn’t. So I really wish you would stop looking for issues when there really isn’t any. I hope this trip brings you some time to relax, Delphine. it seems like you really need it.”

In response Delphine just laughed and said nothing else. She said all that she needed and Layla said what she felt so that was that. Shortly after Layla said she had to go, probably to get out of the tension but Delphine paid no mind to that

“why couldn’t you just, idk not bring Kia up?”

“Didn’t think it was a sore subject.”

“She’s Spencer’s ex.”

“Layla had no issue trying to throw Vanessa into the mix, there’s apparently no way to get rid of Asher, and she tried to throw Chris on you—

“I don’t have any problems with Chris. We’re cool, and don’t have any bad blood. We’re not exactly the best of friends but I don’t mind him being around? So why are you fishing for arguments?”

Delphine appeared offended, “I’m not! I’m just pointing out the obvious and calling it as I see it, you both know how I am and I don’t have to be quiet about things that I notice if I don’t want to. You say it doesn’t bother you and she says it just slipped her mind, fine. Whatever we don’t have to talk about it anymore, I wasn’t trying to be a bitch about it. Sheesh.”

Olivia sighed knowing that this was all true and moved on, “I’ll tell Jordan and Simone that you and I will ride up together and if Vanessa doesnt come, Chris can ride with us. Cool?”

“Do you even drive in the snow?” Del asked since she’s never been in a snowy environment with Olivia

Blinking Olivia answered, “no bitch that’s why you’re driving.”

“Then wtf? I should just drive my car instead of messing around with your mini rodent car.” Del fanned her hand

“You’re gonna stop talking shit about my baby and I have a beetle now not the Mini Cooper anymore, rip.” Olivia sniffed whipping away a fake tear

Del waved her fingers about in mock fear, ���the difference? Please find it.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go now before I have to get ugly on you.” Olivia held the phone downwards as she finally made it to her bedroom

“You could never.”

“Aw, that was sweet. Who knew you could be?”

“Ha, whatever! Ttyl, love you.”

“Love you too bitch, tata.” Olivia waved as she plopped on her bed with an umph

Two days later and Del was more than ready to get away from her household

The night before she kept her partying to low key, smoking it up and dancing in her room and had her 6 ft fling come over to enjoy the party who thought it was fine to spend the night but she was too slumped after taking her bubble bath to kick him out—plus he was warm and added to her peaceful slumber

she woke up late, not super late but enough to sleep through two of her alarms and not all five. Liv already sent her a text an hour ago to see if she was up since it was del who was coming to pick her up

which meant Vanessa was coming...

“i know you’re just getting up so I’m out getting us coffee and I hope by the time I get back home, you’ll be leaving to come and scoop me.” — liv

Del smirked sending a few emoji’s before she untangled herself from her fling and went into her connected bathroom to get ready for the road trip

she took her time since she wasn’t a morning person but tried to move not like a sloth since this wasn’t school but eventually she got herself together throwing the sunglasses she left on the bathroom counter over her tired eyes before entering her room again

She saw her fling—sorry Cody, sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes as he glanced over Delphine’s clothed frame, “Aw, you’re leaving me already?”

“yup, remember how I said i was finally getting away from this place for awhile? Today’s the day!” Delphine cheered moving around her room as her phone went off back to back as she searched for her desired jacket

Cody tilted his head to the side, “and im not invited?”

Delphine had her back to Cody as she dug through her closet to latch onto her faux brown cow print fur jacket with satisfaction but cringed as she realized what was asked, “are the mountains really your thing?”

Cody chuckled, “I’m originally from Pennsylvania and always go back to visit my dad, I’m no stranger to greenery, baby.”

Delphine shrugged draping the coat over one arm and moved back to her mess of a bed to grab her phone to read multiple messages in the group chat, “oh. then do you want to come and keep me company then?”

Cody tapped his chin in thought gaining Del’s attention as she looked up from her phone. It was his choice if he wanted to, they weren’t initially a couple and never talked about it but they definitely enjoyed each other’s company so she wouldn’t be mad if he did or didn’t. Del didn’t want to get too attached even tho she was beginning to like him!!! just a little bit but will she tell him this? Nooooo! just in case things changed

“I mean if you’re serious and not just asking because you feel bad? I’d have to go home and grab some things, and I’ll be behind you guys.” Cody rubbed his hand against the back of his buzzed hair, waiting to see what Delphine would say

Delphine reached out for Cody’s hand which he gladly handed over, she brought the back of his hand up to her lips and placed a kiss there. “I’ll see you tonight then, and I’ll send you the addy.” Which brought a smile to Cody’s lips as he pulled up her sunglasses to see the sincerity in her eyes before he tried to cup her face and bring it in for a kiss

“Uh uh, no can do. Morning breath!” Del warned, dropping on the bed and rolled from his reach to latch onto her suitcase and make a break for the door

“I’m gonna make you regret that later, and don’t forget to text me!” Cody called out, leaning back on the bed with his arms folded behind his head in his shirtless glory

And Delphine was off to pick up Olivia

As soon as the curly haired girl finally got into the car del gave Liv a quick peck right on the lips when she handed over her signature order: venti iced chai latte with oat milk and 4 pumps of hazelnut syrup

It wasn’t the first time Delphine’s laid one out on Olivia, the first was when she was drunk off her ass and Olivia questioned it the day after if there was anything more to it and if they needed to clear the air but delphine laughed saying she was already in love with one of the bakers she didn’t need to add Olivia to the mix. “That’d be too much heartbreak for me Liv! Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, or if it was borderline harassment. I love you, no doubt about that but not past friendship and sisterhood.” Olivia wiped the fake sweat from her brow as the two friends shared a laugh and a hug

“Good morning to you too,” Olivia greeted with a smile on her lips and a shake of her head holding onto her own beverage which was hot and transferred into her yeti, “I know you don’t have heels on.” She caught on taking a look at the driver’s fit

Del sighed in satisfaction at her drink, “and why wouldn’t I? I had to make myself feel sexy somewhere and I wasn’t doing my makeup this early and these babies are giving, honey!” She put her seat back as far as possible from the pedals and wiggled her sweats covered thighs like a stripper

Olivia snorted as she got comfortable in Del’s Honda HRV before connecting her phone into the aux to give the ride more life than del was already giving

A/N: PART 2

[harryskalechips]

The rookie in the playing field

A/n This was really cute, i think it might be a fav! Anyways, this is just a one shot, I don’t think I’ll be writting another part unless someone requests LOL anyways, enjoy!

Harry has had the longest crush on his best friend’s sister, luckily for him a beer pong game got him just where he needed to be. With her. 

fluff and mentions of smut! ( not edited )

Word count: 2008

The loud music was blasting through the Alpha Sigma Phi frat house. It wasn’t a surprise since parties and raves were always occurring throughout the week for the boys to have some fun. Y/N however, usually never came to these parties. She knew better than to get pissed drunk in a house full of horny men.

Tonight though was different. It wasn’t the cliché story of her going to meet a frat boy who needed her to tutor him. It was her older brother who called her down to the house for an “emergency” yet she didn’t know what had actually happened. Thomas, her older brother made a bet with his best friend Harry, another member of their frat. The bet was just on a game of beer pong, being the competitive duo they are, Thomas bet his sister in exchange for Harry’s range rover. Too bad, Thomas knew exactly what his best friend’s weakness is; his little crush on his baby sister.

“Thomas!” Y/N calls her brother’s name as she catches a sight of him lying on the wall near the steps entering the house. “Are you okay? What happened?” She asks frequently, touching her brother and checking if he’s been hurt.

“Oh yay! My baby sister is here!” Thomas enthusiastically says as he trips over himself, trying to get up. He’s very well drunk.

“What’s wrong? Why did you call me?” Y/N couldn’t help but feel angry at her brother who called her to his house foolishly for no reason.

“You got to help me sis.” Thomas slurs as he drags his sister into the house. It was loud, the string lights that once hung on the walls now dragged on the wooden floors as college students danced and slobbered on one another. Thomas brings her to their living room as she catches a sight of a sober Harry sitting on the couch unamused, as he watches his friends play another stupid college game. “Harry!” Thomas yells as he drags you closer towards his best friend. “Look, I brought Y/N!” Y/N closes her eyes in embarrassment as Harry looks at her.

She knew Harry for two years now as he was a senior and she’s a junior. She met him a couple times when he would come over for family dinners or when she would visit her brother. He was very quiet though… around her. He never tried to get to know her, only catching him stare at her a couple times or little smiles from here to there. Yet, the funny thing is Harry didn’t mind being loud and friendly to her parents. He didn’t mind participating in the parties with her brother. He was also carrying the reputation around the university that he was indeed the hottest guy any girl can sleep with. She had a bit of a crush on him because he was so mysterious. She wanted to know who he was.

“Why did you bring her?” Harry asks unimpressed as he keeps a frown on his face.

“Our bet was-” Thomas slurs as he let’s go of his sister’s hand.

“I know what it was.” Harry interrupts. He didn’t want drunk Thomas to let Y/N know that Harry was interested in taking her on a date. He didn’t want Y/N to know he had this crush on her ever since she sat in the back of her brother’s car while he glanced at her through the rear mirror.

She was breathtaking, At least for Harry. He liked how simple she was. Her casual wear was just leggings and a sweatshirt. She didn’t wear too much makeup and she spent all her time in the library. She may be the cliché girl any frat boy can fall head over heels for but for Harry, he likes to think he was different. She was simple yet she was daring. She hides her dirty wild side that Harry wanted to see so badly. He heard Thomas once in a while skip over some details about her when she was in high school and he was interested almost suddenly. How little did Thomas know that his best friend and his little sister had so much in common.

“She shouldn’t be here right now, Thomas.” Harry looks at his best friend as the girl beside him took a few steps back. Y/N was definitely feeling the vibe Harry didn’t want her presence at the moment.

“You asked for her.” Thomas blurts out as Y/N widens her eyes. Harry asked for her to be here tonight?

“Not tonight though, There’s so many guys here who are way out of their minds, She’s not safe.”

“I think I can handle myself, Harry.” She interrupts their discussion as she steps up once again. “Why did you ask for me anyways?” Thomas laughed… like really hard. Their friends around them are smirking at the conversation being held between the three.

“Y/N, did you know Harry and I had a bet while playing beer pong today? He won but like I’m pretty sure he cheated.” Thomas yells over the loud music.

“Okay.” Y/N glances at Harry who was staring at the coffee table, clenching his jaw hard.

“Thomas, shut up.” Harry stands up and threatens his best friend to close his mouth. In reality, Harry was only acting this way because his secret would be blurted out tonight. Of course, he wanted to take Y/N on a date but not tonight! He wanted to do it romantically and not have his drunk best friend call her over not even 15 minutes after the game.

Thomas rolls his eyes. “Y/N, Harry has a crush on you!” Thomas smiles at his little sister as she widens her eyes, caught off guard. Harry likes me? Y/N thought to herself. The boy gave no signs whatsoever, he can have anybody in the world but he’s interested in me?

“I do-” Harry stutters trying to stare Y/N in the eyes but he can’t, especially when he knows damn well it’s a lie.

“Harry, it’s fine! I support it! Now you two go to a room and fuck so I can find some girl for myself!” Thomas waddles to his friends and lands on them, making them groan.

Without a word, Harry drags Y/N to his room upstairs leaving the party to the rest of the boys. Y/N stands awkwardly in his clean room, taking in her surroundings of the pretty drawings and paintings pinned up around his walls. Harry lets out a sigh as he locks his door and faces Y/N. He’s never really had a conversation with her. The real tense aura swirls around them both as Harry has his hands on his hips, what should he do?”

“So do you like me or not?” Y/N asks as she keeps her hands in the back of her jean pockets, biting her lip. What should she do?

Harry looks up at her and stares at her pretty mouth. Fuck, the things he can do to that naughty thing. “Yeah, I do.” He closes his eyes. One may probably wonder why it was so hard for a frat boy to confess his feelings to his best friend’s sister. You may probably wonder why is Harry acting like Edward when he first took in Bella’s scent. He’s acting as if resents the poor girl in front of him, even though that is far from the reality he faces.

“Why are you acting like that?” Y/N continues on, “Why do you always act like that?” Harry lifts his eyes to see her, standing in his room with a pout.

“Like what?”

“Like you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Y/N” He walks closer to her as he lets his shoulders fall. For the first time, they both enjoyed each other’s warmth. Something they both have been looking for ever since they met one another. “I’m just shy.” He smirks while she laughs and walks away from him so she can sit on his bed.

“Shy? More like avoiding being with me in the room almost every time.”

“I’m here now though, aren’t I.” He shrugs his shoulders and puts his hands in his jeans as he walks to sit beside her on the bed.

“You know I don’t know anything about you right?” Y/N smiles at him as she eyes his picture frames filled with his family, she assumed.

“My fault.” He laughs. “Look, I do want you to know more about me. I mean, I like you I really do.” he pauses, “Tonight, Thomas and I had a bet and he made the whole thing up, I wasn’t going to disagree with it because I kind of wanted it too.”

“What was it?”

“We made a bet on my range rover and me getting a date with you.” His cheeks flush red as he laughs. The first real emotion that Y/N had ever witnessed from him, at least for her anyways.

“So you like me?” She bites her lip.

“Well, you don’t have to like me back. Maybe go on a date with me?”

“What happens if I tell you…” Y/N teases as she makes her way in the center of his bed right before taking off his shoes.

“What?” He smirks at her as he watches her get comfortable in his bed.

“I like you too. Since the first time I saw you.”  He widens his eyes as he takes his shoes off too and hovers over her.

“You did, Baby? You thought I was cute too?” He teases her as he kisses the top of her nose.

“More like hot.” She licks her lips as she watches his breathing change.

“I wish I can take you here right now.” He whispers in her ear as he takes a hold of her hips right underneath her sweater.

“I wish too.” Y/N intertwines her fingers into his hair.

“Can’t though, wanna treat you right. Take you on a proper date first love.”

“Can’t we just say this is a pre date ice breaker.” She runs her finger mischievously down his throat.

“I don’t know about that.”

“Wanna feel you though!” Y/N whines. She may look like an innocent girl but Harry wasn’t wrong, she was a bit wild, she just never appears at the frat parties.

“You want me to touch you?” Harry runs his fingers to her core, biting his lip as he watches her bite hers too.

“I just want you.” She pouts. “I have to tell you something though.” She lets out a sigh. “I’ve never.. I haven’t had-”

“You’re a virgin.” Harry stares into her eyes seriously. He didn’t want her first time to be with him after she just found out about his major crush on her. She nods her head and fervently tries to reply.

“‘M not trying to tempt you or use you! I just want you to be my first. I really like you and you know you’re hot!” Her cheeks flush as she tries to hide in his pillows. Harry straddles her, careful to not put all his weight on her.

“I’m hot so you want me to be your first so you can tell all the girls you slept with me.” Y/N couldn’t tell if he was disappointed in her. He was right but in a way he was also wrong. She wanted it to be him because he turned her on so well. She was attracted to him and she wanted to have this bond with him, that even if they never get together and they forget each other, he’ll always have some type of mark on her.

“Well, basically?” She shrugs her shoulders as his smile re appears. He bends down to kiss me as I take in his soft plump lips.

“Okay, but let me take you out first.” He murmurs against my lips as we continue to make out.

“Alright.”

[klvbxlove]

finally (chie x american! gn! reader)

a/n: i’ve got another persona 4 drabble. this time it’s dedicated to another cousin of mine, matt. i hope you like this, i lowkey had fun writing it! i think it’s now the longest drabble i’ve written so far (it has, i think, 400 more words than my yosuke one, damn). i do plan on writing a rise drabble for my other cousin, chuck, soon, but i also kinda wanna write a kanji drabble. idk which one to start off with, so i’ll see what my mind decides. but anyways, enjoy this drabble! :)

reader type: gender neutral

reader specification(s): reader is from america and is also a bit flirty LOL

genre(s): fluff, romance

trigger warning(s): none

summary: as much as chie loved being with you, she was saddened by the fact that you lived in america, which is far away from japan. however, one day you give her a surprise, one that she wasn’t expecting at ALL

word count: 2.9k words

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

key:

(e/c) = eye color (f/a) = favorite anime (f/c) = favorite color (n/n) = nickname (y/n) = your name

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

   It started with Chie meeting you online after finding out you were a fan of (F/A), an anime series she had recently started watching. Having been in love with it for years, you were glad to find someone else (regardless of whether you met them online or in real life) who also loved it as much. 

   Then it slowly progressed into the both of you talking about everything besides (F/A) almost constantly. Every day, whenever you woke up, whenever you were waiting for school to start, whenever you were about to go to bed. Hell, even when you were out with your friends, the both of you found ways to text each other! Also, both of you may or may not have stayed up on school nights to continue the conversations.

   Conflicted feelings eventually showed up at the front door months later, when the both of you realized you had crushes on each other but had no idea how to bring it up. Neither of you originally wanted to confess in fear that you would be rejected, and the friendship would end up tensing up (cliché, I know). But ultimately, the two of you got over that fear and eventually ended up in a relationship.

   And that is where the two of you are at now.

   Now, here was the thing. It was not as if there were any major problems throughout your and Chie’s relationship. It was quite healthy, to say the least! 

   So what was wrong?

   Chie lived in Japan, and you lived in America. 

   Those were different countries and two different continents. 

   Even before entering a relationship, the two of you initially had some difficulty having the time to chat with each other due to the huge time zones. It was especially hard since both of you were high school students who had to focus on their education. Although like troopers, the both of you managed to deal with the time difference and found time to talk. 

   And of course, Chie could not forget to mention this was not only her first relationship but her first long-distance relationship. It sucked not being able to see you every day (not including face-time calls. Sure, she has seen your face, but not in real life). Chie was not one to constantly watch couples. However, when she did, she could not help the slight jealousy in her eyes. She had no idea if she would ever get the chance to get a ticket to America or vice-versa. 

   All Chie could do, whenever she missed you badly, was to sulk. There was no other way to do it. Was it healthy? Probably not. How was she supposed to help herself? But then again, it was not her fault she had been raised in Japan her entire life. Same as you, you have been in America for a while now. And the both of you certainly could not help the fact that you were miles away from each other. 

   Of course, that was not enough to stop Chie from being sad about it from time to time. She had a feeling she would not see you anytime soon.

-

   The short brown-haired female found herself sitting alone on the bench, scrolling through her phone. Out of everyone in the Investigation Team, Chie was the only one who did not feel like going to the restroom. So she insisted on waiting for them outside. Although, that was not the only reason. She did not want any of them catching her reading her text messages with you and questioning why she was smiling. 

   But then Chie remembered one time Yosuke had caught her doing that. Yeah, he was the first (and unfortunate) person. As he had continued to tease her, she eventually got irritated and took out that irritation by kicking Yosuke right in his scrotum area. (**)

   Oh God, she just had to bite the inside of her cheek. She was already seeing him riving in pain on the ground as he held the affected area and the rest of their friend group looked on in either confusion or concern. Hmph, served him right!

   Scrolling up towards the older texts, Chie was reading a conversation she had with you. It was about how you wanted to visit her in Inaba and explore the town. 

   Chie: I mean, of course, I’m down to you coming here and meeting me. But let me warn you, Inaba is a bit boring. I don’t think you could even compare it to other places like Tokyo or Osaka.

   (Y/N): Babe, I don’t mind at all! And besides, you know I’m willing to visit any part of Japan, not just Tokyo. I’m like head over heels with Japan at this point BWAHAHAHA

   Chie: I think everyone knows. But knowing you, I think you would especially want to go to Akihabara.

   (Y/N): Hey, stop calling me out!

   Chie: You know it’s true (N/N). Eh, not that I blame you. They got cool stuff there. It would be nice to visit sometime.

   (Y/N): For sure! We should go together, too ;)

   Jeez, even reading old texts you sent Chie always managed to make her blush! Although they were not the only reasons for her blushing, besides your flirtatious remarks. On a few occasions, you would poke fun at her (Not in a way to make her upset, of course). You were lucky that Chie considered you more tolerable compared to Yosuke. 

   She could already imagine herself not bothered by you teasing her about something like how Yosuke did. And when Yosuke would see, he would ask, “Oh, so (Y/N) can tease you, but I can’t?! WHERE’S THE LOGIC IN THAT, CHIE?!”

   Oh, wait. Chie looked up. Now that she realized, she had not told anyone in the Investigation Team about her relationship with you. No, it was not because she was ashamed. Well, it was more of the fact that she did not have a logical explanation. 

   Was it because she could not find the time to tell everyone? Maybe.  

   Or was it because she knew that some of them might not even believe her? 

   Looking up from her phone, the brown-haired girl saw everyone else heading in her direction. As she stood up, placed her phone in the back pocket of her shirts, and followed the rest of the team, she thought, ‘There will be a day where I can introduce (Y/N) to everyone. One day. And I’ll be sure to do it!’

-

   INCOMING CALL: (Y/N)

   Chie immediately sat up from her bed at the sudden sound ringing. Her first instincts were to assume someone had broken into her room. However, those instincts vanished when she looked over at her nightstand and saw that it was her phone making that sound. When Chie looked at the screen, her eyes lightened in excitement upon seeing what it read. 

   “(Y/N)!” She said after picking up the phone.

   “Hey, Chie,” you answered over the line. Said girl could never get tired of hearing your voice. “How’s my favorite girl doing?”

   Chie could feel the blood rushing towards her cheeks again. You were not one to call her many pet names. But when it comes to you referring to her as “your girl”? Do you even realize the effect you have on her?! She was lucky she was not like this when she was sneakily texting you next to the Investigation Team! 

   “I--” she cleared her throat, “--I’m good, thanks!” 

   You chuckled over the phone. “You know, for a sec it sounded like you were getting flustered again. Don’t hide it, Chie. I know you sometimes clear your throat when I see those cute cheeks turn pink!”

   “H-Hey, shut up!” Chie retorted. If this was an anime, she was sure she would have had a tick mark above her head. “Why do you always tease me whenever I blush? I don’t get it, (Y/N),” 

   “It’s ‘cause you’re so cute, baby.”

   ‘STOP. OH MY GOD, PLEASE!’

   It wasn’t exactly helping that Chie had made some weird sound at what you had said. And it wasn’t any better by the fact that she heard you snickering. “Jeez, if you were an anime character, even though you don’t act like one, you would surely be a tsundere!” 

   “(Y/N),” Chie gritted her teeth. To hide her flustered form, she acted as if she was angry. “I swear to God I will...get back for you one day.”

   “Get back? Hmm? If I didn’t know any better, I thought you were going to say, ‘I will kick your ass.’ Is my girl getting too flustered now? How cute.”

   “Grrr, (Y/N)...” Damn it, Chie wanted to fight back against you. Sometimes (or more like, a majority of the time), you were way TOO MUCH to handle! You knew how to get her going, that was for sure. 

   “Alright, enough about that,” you spoke up, the teasing tone in your voice already gone. “I wanted to call you ‘cause I got a surprise!”

   At that, Chie’s eyes lit up in slight interest. “A surprise?”

   “Yep! I’ve been planning it for a few months so I can get it right. And now I think it’s the perfect opportunity to give it to you!”

   The surprise was more intriguing than learning about a new steak meal at Junes and practically drooling over how it would taste. Chie could not hold back her excitement anymore. “What is it, (Y/N)?!”

   “Ah, ah, ah! I can’t tell you what it is. You’ll have to find out for yourself, babe.” you snickered. 

   “Oh, come on!” Chie grumbled. “You know I can’t do that. You’ve gotta at least give me a hint! Just one hint! 

   “Well, how about this,” you suggested. “Just open your front door, and you’ll see it right then and there.”

   Okay, that was a bit suspicious. Chie raised her eyebrow. It was not as if she had little to no faith in you when it came to surprises. Coming outside to the front door, though? Just what were you planning? “Are you sure?” she asked. “You’re kinda weirding me out,” 

   “Just trust me on this!” you said. “I’m not trying to do anything creepy, I promise. Come on, Chie. Just open your front door.” 

   “Fine,” the short brown-haired female gave in, sitting up from her bed and exciting her bedroom. Maybe Chie was feeling a bit too doubtful about this. For all she knew, you must have sent her something like an anime figurine of her favorite character. Or even better, maybe you ordered her some food and had it sent to her front door! 

   “Okay, I’m at the front door,” Chie spoke over the phone as soon as she arrived. With her free hand, she unlocked the handle before fully opening it.

   And what did she see? Just someone wearing a (F/C) shirt (Chie was sure that was your favorite) and carrying a backpack. In one of their hands was a suitcase, and they had a smile on their face. 

   Chie was extremely confused. Did she invite someone to come over to her house for a sleepover? She did not remember, nor did she think she ever did. She highly doubted that this was the surprise you were mentioning. 

   A few seconds of silence passed before the person snickered. “What’s with the confused look?” they asked. Their voice sounded so familiar, but who was it? “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t recognize your s/o! You’re breaking my heart over here, Chie!”

   Wait a minute.

   Wait a Goddamn minute.

   That voice. 

   That familiar smile.

   Her eyes widened.

   There was no way. Was this real? Was she dreaming? If so, someone needs to knock her out right now! 

   And she meant RIGHT NOW!

   Chie almost dropped her phone on the floor. “(Y-Y/N)?” she spoke up. 

   Their smile-- no, your smile grew a bit. “Yep, that’s me!” you nodded. “Live in the flesh, and not just some photo on a screen.” 

   ‘So it was you, holy shit!’ 

   Chie could not believe it. Her mind was feeling so many things. One part of her accepted the fact that this was real. But the other part of her was in disbelief. Chie had no idea what to do at this point. Besides, she already knew she must have looked foolish right now, and you were there to see it in real life. 

   And then the tears came. 

   Chie could no longer control herself. She practically jumped out towards you and wrapped her arms around you. She almost knocked you to the ground, but luckily you only stumbled backward a bit before balancing yourself. “Y-You finally came!” she sobbed into your chest. “You’re real! You’re right here, oh my God! I-I’m not dreaming, right?! Please tell me I’m not!!”

   Meanwhile, your heart felt like it was being pulled on tug strings watching your girlfriend cry out of happiness. You wrapped your arms around her waist to complete the hug and rubbed her back soothingly. “You’re not dreaming, darling,” you reassured Chie, “I’m right here. After many, many months, I’m right here.”

   Chie pulled away for a bit, wiping her tears with the sleeves of her sweater before looking up at you with a tear-stained smile. “I never thought the day would come when I get to see you right in front of me,” she said, “I thought it wouldn’t even be possible, either! You’re here, at my house. Speaking of which--” 

   Then the realization hit her, “--How did you even get my address? Because I don’t think I ever gave it to you after months of knowing you.” 

   “Well,” you scratched the back of your head sheepishly. You were somewhat scared that Chie was going to question it, but now she did. 

   “Please don’t kill me when I say this. But I talked to one of your friends, Yosuke, and I told him about my relationship with you. After a while, I tried to bring up the suggestion of wanting to visit you after I realized I have a chance of going to Japan. Then he gave me your address, and I kept it. Then as soon as I arrived in Inaba, I went to your house. I know that sounds so creepy. I’m sorry!”

   Chie would have kicked Yosuke’s ass (literally) if he ever did something like that. She would never approve of him giving any stranger her address, especially without her permission. And she would have kicked your ass for coming to her house as well. Chie would want you to consider yourself lucky since she understood where her friend was coming from, so there was no anger in her body. 

   Oh yeah, and it seems like Yosuke already knows about you and Chie. He better not have told anyone else on the Investigation Team. She was planning to do it very soon.

   “Don’t worry, I get it,” she said. “If getting my address from one of my friends meant that you got to see me, then I don’t mind at all!” 

   You were expecting Chie to yell at you about how creepy that was. After being shocked at her calm reaction for a while, the feeling disappeared, and you smiled, patting her head. “Thanks, babe. I appreciate it.

   “Oh, and by the way,” Chie spoke up. “Now that you’re here and not just on a screen, I’d like to do one thing with you. 

   Puzzled, you tilted your head. “What is it?”

   A smirk appeared on her face. “I want to kiss you!”

   Your eyes widened a bit. Now it was your turn to feel flustered (you could already feel it in your cheeks). You were not opposed to the matter, as you could understand why Chie would want to do it. You had no idea why you were feeling nervous in the first place. You cleared your throat. “Well, alright. I don’t mind,” you smiled. 

   “Oh wow, you’re getting flustered now, aren’t you? I guess this is karma for all the times you’ve made me flustered.” Chie snickered. 

   You sighed. Somehow you had a feeling that your girlfriend would say something like that. But you decided to brush that aside for now.

   Rewrapping your arms around her waist, you slowly inched towards her face. Both of your eyes closed at the same time as she placed her hands on your shoulders. It almost felt like an eternity for the moment to finally happen. 

   And then, the moment happened. Your lips connected into a kiss. 

   You instantly realized how soft her lips were, and you had to admit it felt amazing. You almost considered not pulling away for a while. Both of you did not want this to escalate into some steamy make out session, so you kept it slow. But there was a feeling of love and passion in it. You could feel the bliss coming into the atmosphere. 

   Seconds passed, and both you and Chie pulled away. You smiled. “God, do you know how long I wanted to do that?” you asked softly, caressing her cheek. 

   “I could ask you the same thing, (Y/N),” Chie answered. “I waited for so long, and I thought it would never happen in a few years. But now it has, and I’m so happy.” She rested her head against your chest to feel your heartbeat. “Thank you. Thank you for coming here,” 

   “Of course, Chie,” you whispered, running your fingers through her hair.

   At this point, you would have asked if Chie would let you inside her house. But you did not care about that right now. All you were thinking of was hugging Chie and never letting go. You were almost tearing up just thinking of the fact that you had been in a relationship with Chie over a long distance for months. It had been months where you two could not even have your first kiss or any affection. 

   And here you are now. Hey, you (unfortunately) might not be in Japan for too long, but it was better than not visiting at all. As long as you were able to spend every single second with your girlfriend, you were as happy as they could be.

-

(**) lowkey feel bad about hurting yosuke like this, but i felt like i just had to LMAO 

[eohachu]

Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.

Ali tagged me, thanks. I guess 😘 @lanzhansmiles​

A’ight so I’m simply taking this as an opportunity to show off my frankly impeccable taste 😌 *coughs into the crook of my elbow with my mask on and from a safe distance* More under the cut, godspeed!

I’m tagging uhh I really don’t want to expose anyone but uh. @morifinwes​ @ttaechwita​ @sunshine304​ @treemaidengeek​ @flamingwell​ no pressure tho!!

Since 2006

Janina Fautz: Die Wilden Kerle, anyone?? Tbh i had a crush on quite a lot of the characters/actors but in hindsight Janina was and is the most influential one. Also probably my first ever girl crush (again, in hindsight bc it took me until 3 years ago to finally find out i’m queer lol)

Eva-Maria May: Yeah well I’m not gonna talk about where I know her from let’s say it was an incredibly bad soap opera my mom used to watch. She was one of the reasons why I went Yeah I Have Always Been Into Girls. I was pretty obsessed with her to the point where mini me secretly printed out a photo of her to look at lmaooo the signs have always been there and it’s truly amazing how I had been missing them for years

Amy Adams: Her as Amelia Earhart in Night at the Museum was also definitely a huge Thing to young me. Again, I had been completely oblivious about this crush for years

David Luiz: HAH! This is the point where we do NOT get into my football/soccer crushes bc this list would get WAYYY too long hahaha. I had to cut loads of people from my list for this post bc I develop a new celebrity crush every 5 minutes basically but yeah. David Luiz was definitely my biggest football/soccer crush out of..... everyone else

M*rvel

I don’t have a lot to say about any of them since I’m not into m*rvel anymore TFATWS makes me want to stick the tip of my toe back into m*rvel waters but otherwise NO THANKS

Sebastian Stan was, if my judgement of my archive is right, the longest highkey celebrity crush I’ve ever had. Mostly because I love Bucky a lot and he was so amazing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I must’ve had a crush on him for as long as I had been in the m*rvel fandom

Recent Past

some celeb crushes from last year that were all more or less short-lived tbh

Ester Expósito: As it often goes I didn’t find her spectacular in the beginning but as Élite went on I started to develop a huge crush on her. I still find her pretty hot but I’m not invested in Élite so yeah..... I have no object permanence

Mina El Hammani: Got to know her through Élite, too. She’s so incredibly beautiful. Had a hard time choosing a photo of her bc I’d stare at every single one for ages. Wow.

Danger Days!Gerard Way: Hah! The ones of you who’ve been following me for longer might remember my posts about wanting to dye my hair neon red. Well, him’s the reason and also clinical depression. Ended up with natural red/ginger bc my hair is too thin for bleaching lel. ANYWAY

Maxence Danet Fauvel: Pretty short-lived crush from my Skam days

Ramy Moharam Fouad: So Ramy has a brother, Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad, who makes INCREDIBLE music. Ramy made some of his music videos (directed them? not sure), that’s how he came to my attention. Idk man he’s just so incredibly beautiful.... gives me a hint of genvy, too......

Janelle Monáe: Became a fan when Make Me Feel came out, listened to the entire album for days and eventually inevitably crushed on her

Lera Abova: Saw her in ANИА and fell in love. I screamed to my friends for weeks about how she was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen etc etc. Eventually my crush went away mostly, but I still think she’s stunning

Keiynan Lonsdale: Keiynan said FUCK gender and I said 😍😍😍 and that’s all you need to know.

Current

*deep breath* alright let’s gooo

Bright (Wachirawit Chivaaree): Crushed on him for as long as I watched 2gether/Still 2gether lmao. I still like him a lot and sometimes lose my mind over him but I’m not exceptionally Thirsty™

Tul (Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai) and Max (Nattapol Diloknawarit): If you search either of them on tumblr you will have to scroll for a long, long time to find seperate photos of them. However, I’m not patient enough so here we are. Re: Tul, actually I want to copy/paste what Ali said bc DAMN a man who is confident about his masculinity and sexuality really is kinda hot. Same goes for Max tbh. Also Max’ lips look so soft I [redacted]

Lukas von Horbatschewsky: Also known as Lukas Alexander. He did an amazing job in Druck and he’s just a person I admire in general. As one of the few out trans actors in Germany, he had a main role as a trans boy in Druck and also co-wrote Druck’s seasons 5 and 6. He’s just a huge role model to me and, apart from that, Big Crush Material (h i s  e y e s)

Li Wei: Someone suggested him as Hua Cheng for the TGCF live action and my life hasn’t been the same since. While I’m open for whoever will get that role in the end, I could look at his face for hours and not get bored. Major Genvy, too.

Li BoWen and Liu HaiKuan: I will have to deal with these two in one paragraph bc LanLan bc they have the exact same effect on me which is. that they’re not 100% my type but I WILL go absolutely feral about them at regular intervals, if you know what I mean

Song JiYang: ohh honey. oh honey.......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a natural affinity for aquarius ppl and this one lives in my heart rent free. I’d even make him soup if he’d ask.

Wang YiBo: WELL HOLY SHIT. listen. LISTEN! the hype around him is 100% justified imo he really is That Bitch and I love him so so much for it. Fucking ICON

Honorary Mentions: Gender Envy

Here’s to the People I Thought I Had A Crush On But Not Quite until I learned the word Gender Envy:

Zhu YiLong: Man, this is the person who’s mainly responsible for me finding out AT ALL about not being entirely cis. The POWER he holds!!! His performance as Ye Zun in Guardian was like a breakthrough point for me which. certain people witnessed in real time hahaha oh I love this fandom!!

Zhu ZanJin: HIM. AAAH!! He’s literally so beautiful and whenever I see him I just go ZANZAN!! in my head and in the tags bc. well. hIM.

Xiao Zhan With Long Hair: Look, Xiao Zhan is always amazing but BLESS the person who made these manips. I can finally rest.

Wang YiBo: uhh what’s he doing here again?? Tbh YiBo is one of the few, if not the only person that gives me Major Gender Envy that I would also [redacted] if they asked. Do I want to be him or be with him? The answer is Yes.

I skipped the fictional characters bc I tend not to crush on them 👉👈 Instead I will just directly crush on the actors/actresses lol!

Thank you for bearing with me. As a prize, you can choose between a ladder supported forehead kiss, or a bowl of homemade soup. ❤

[soulwillower]

me and you together • richie tozier

richie x reader

(based off ‘me and you together song’ by the 1975) <-- pls listen to this it’s so good i cry

warning: swearing, mentions of sex, some real pining shit

[losers + reader are aged up 18/19 in this!!]

1.5k words

♡

richie puts out the tiny end of his cigarette on the cement step next to him and crushes it with his converse as he stares at the door at the end of the driveway. tonight was the night. 

your porch light was on, along with your bedroom light, but your folks’ cars weren’t in the driveway. he smiles softly as he sees your silhouette faintly as you glide past your closed curtains. 

yeah, okay. tonight was the night. 

or maybe it wasn’t, because richie tozier has told himself that very phrase almost every night since the ninth grade. 

and it’s never really been the night. but now, almost six years after meeting you, he is suffering through every day acting like he’s not in love with you. and he figures it’s time to do something about his feelings because it’s unfair to you to keep you in the dark and continue to walk on eggshells around you - he can tell you’ve started to notice how he tries to act different around you so you don’t find out on your own. he knows he doesn’t deserve someone like you, yet he thinks about you with a fond smile on his lips. 

i can't remember when we met  because she didn't have a top on i improvised a little bit  she said my references were spot on

you were a friend of mike’s. that’s how you met: in the summer of ‘89, because mike had asked if he could bring a friend to the quarry one day early in summer and then along you came, the last member and missing piece of the loser’s club. 

richie’s pretty sure that everybody instantly liked you that day, from the way that you smiled and introduced yourself to the way you held your own against richie’s immediate teasing. 

you went along with all his shitty impressions and told him they were great, much to the rest of the loser’s surprise. he knew you were lying, but he loved it anyways.

he can’t remember much from that day because that whole summer is pretty fuzzy; he remembers that you and bev jumped into the quarry together and richie’s mouth couldn’t close as he stared at you sunbathing on the rocks. he felt like a creep. 

“can i take you for a drink?"  she said "oh god i'll have to think because we're mates it doesn't feel right?!" and i said "it's cool" and "i was messin'" but it's true yeah it's you, you're the one that makes me feel right

he remembers still loving you after that one time during sophomore year of high school where richie had gotten the courage to ask you out - but he’d done it in typical tozier fashion, which led you to believe he was joking. you turned him down with an awkward laugh and an eye roll and richie had agreed that he was just messing around. but he wasn’t. he could never joke about his feelings for you. 

and he loved you even when sophomore year, richie had his heart really broken for the first time. he went to ben’s house to talk about it and found you and ben sprawled on his bed, reading comics and using richie’s walkman. 

he was glad you were there because you were the only one who really made him feel normal. you were the one that made him feel right. his life was hectic and you were always the calm in the storm, never quick to judge his compulsions. so he vented to you and ben the whole night. 

he’d walked you home and you had hugged him and kissed his cheek. 

i've been in love with her for ages  and i can't seem to get it right i fell in love with her in stages my whole life

every time richie tells himself it’s time, that he has to confess, he goes back on his words. and it’s out of honesty - honesty being that he knows you’re too good for him. 

you’re his best friend- the girl who matches his energy perfectly whenever you were together. the one who has all the patience in the world for him but still knows when to intervene if he’s taking a joke too far with the losers. you’re the stupidly beautiful girl who always falls down and scrapes her knees when drunk and who hides his cigarettes under your mattress when he tries to quit, even though he finds them every time. 

he knows he fell in love with you in different ways all throughout your friendship. and you loved him, but not in the same way. 

i had a dream where we had kids you would cook, i'd do the nappies we went to winter wonderland  and it was shit but we were happy

senior year, richie had a fucking dream that he married you. this was alarming because not only was he only eighteen, but more importantly because he had spent the majority of that night with some girl that looked enough like you to pass, laying in her bed afterwards before sneaking out after she’d fallen asleep. 

but he dreamt that you’d had kids and went to do all the sappy shit that you do with a family and it was pathetic and shitty, but the smile on dream-y/n’s face was nearly enough to make richie say “i do.” 

he imagined that perhaps you’d be the perfect person to spend the rest of his life with because you kept him on his toes, you support him but know how to keep him in line. you’re driven, know what you want to do in life, and are passionate about it.

i've been in love with her for ages  and i can't seem to get it right i fell in love with her in stages my whole life

he snaps out of it, walking up to your front door and knocking on it. he only has a few moments to gather himself before you’re opening up the door, looking up at him with a beautiful smile. he can’t help but smile back. “hey there, sugar.” richie says as you step back, allowing him to enter your house. 

“what’re you doing here, rich?” you ask curiously as you lead him up to your room. 

he gets nervous when you shut the door, sitting next to him on your bed. he stares at the floor, “i actually have to tell you something.” he mumbles, looking to you and finding the face that he’s known for years, the face that he’s loved for most of those years. the face that holds love for him, but not in the same way. 

there's been no way for me to say  that I've felt a certain way for ages i think our story needs more pages  'cause i've been in love with her for ages and ages, and ages

“richie, are you okay?” you ask nervously, placing a delicate hand on his arm. he flinches accidentally, afraid that he’s about to freak you out. but hurt flashes across your beautiful features and richie feels even worse. 

“i- yeah, y/n/n. sorry, i just don’t really know what to say.” he admits, toying with his hands to occupy himself. 

you let out a small laugh. “that’s a first.” 

he chuckles despite himself and looks at you. how does he do this? what’s going to happen when he admits his feelings and you turn him down? you’re still talking, a teasing smile on your face, “i don’t think i’ve ever heard you say that. you even talk when you sleep-“ 

“i’ve been in love with you for ages, y/n.” he blurts, interrupting you and effectively shutting you up. 

your smile drops from your face and the color drains. he wants to punch himself for making you feel so bad. fuck. 

“richie. this isn’t funny. please don’t joke about that kind of stuff.” you whisper, looking betrayed. his eyes widen because of course you thought he was joking. 

he shakes his head, looking right into your eyes. “y/n/n, i could never joke about this. i mess around all the time, but i could never joke about how i feel for you.” he says genuinely, his stomach twisting with guilt. 

the silence that follows is the longest moment of richie’s life. 

“you love me?” you ask again, your face neutral. he swallows, “yeah. i’m so sorry. i can’t help it.” he says, feeling like the world’s shittiest best friend. he thinks he might cry. 

but then you smile. 

“i... i love you too, richie.” you say, beaming so hard that richie thinks your face must hurt but he doesn’t really care because he’s so in love and you’re grabbing his face and pulling him towards you, pressing your lips to his. 

you taste like vanilla chapstick and mint mouthwash and kiss him like you need him in order to survive. 

he hears music playing in his ears as he pulls away, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you around. the squeal and thumping on his back you respond with makes him smile. 

he sets you down and presses kisses all over your face. “i love you, i love you.” he mumbles into the skin of your neck before kissing your cheek, nose, other cheek, forehead, and then your lips again. you giggle into the kiss and richie knows he’s the luckiest person in the entire world. 

“i’ve loved you for so long.” you say with a blush, your hands around his neck as you pull him in for another kiss. 

[dragcns-den]

A co-worker was talking about her shitty ex— major bitch, this guy —and it got me thinking about someone I used to know and how Oblivious as Hell I am. Something that has been proven several times and gives my bro a migraine whenever I explain my ‘reasonings’, rip his soul and patience

Anyway random relationship musings below— feel free to ignore as I ramble into the void. Just got sum thoughts and feel like typing them down, since they’ve been nagging at me lately and maybe getting them out will- I dunno, make them ease off a bit. rip Warning, it’s LONG, a lot of questions/introspectiveness, and literally just me trying to organize my Fucking Thoughts

There was this guy at work who ‘liked’ me. Which struck me as odd because I’m pretty sure we’d never talked— and I say pretty sure because apparently he was working on the same area as me once and I legit had NO idea XD But to be fair, back then I kept my head down, earbud on, and made very little eye contact with others... because that’s just How I Did. Hhgvsgjfdh — Anyway, I eventually found out who he was and we started talking during lunch, eating together every day and getting to know one another. Honestly, he was a cool dude.

Nice, dorky, creative, made me laugh and laughed with me... Clicked on how we thought about things, how we were socially awkward and nervous as Hell people— but it was easy to talk to him, and I liked talking to him. He seemed to genuinely enjoy listening to what I had to say too. Just- a good guy who I considered a friend. I think he might have still been into me for a bit— even though I made it clear I wasn’t interested in entering a relationship with anyone —but I’m not sure because as I stated, I suck when it comes to noticing things like that when it’s directed at me. Obvious signals I either don’t notice or overthink and doubt, and it’s just- hindsight should be 20/20 but it never is with me. With friends and fam, I’m good at the advice and dissecting how they are feeling/thinking... but not about how they feel towards me. rip 

Anyway— I honestly don’t know if I had a crush on him. If I did, it definitely wasn’t anything I would consider major. But still, I feel like it’s weird I’m not entirely ‘certain’. Because I DO think he was attractive-looking... but I also know that he isn’t someone I would have taken a second glance at before we started talking- as proven by how I literally didn’t before. He hit some of my fave aesthetics: flannel, tall, glasses, kinda scruffy-looking... but he wasn’t like the people I look at and automatically think ‘oh, they hot’. I dunno if that means I was feeling FEELINGS because just... people gave the ‘he’s kinda cute’ shrug and stuff when describing him when they first mentioned he liked me, and that’s the response I give when people tell me about who they are crushing on and I don’t really ‘see’ the appeal. Well, now I was on the OTHER side and I have no idea what that meant. And whenever people asked if I liked him I’d give a-

‘Nah, not really... but if i WAS going to be with someone- then yeah, he’d probably have the best chance.’ A LOT of - ‘if I was’ and ‘he’s the closest so far’ and ‘he’d have the best shot’ and at the time I was kinda- iffy about why I kept reiterating that but I still believed it, even though I partially felt like I was trying to convince myself. But damn de nile isn’t just a river in Egypt, and fuk maybe I was floating down it? But I feel like if I LIKED him, I would know? Then again, I am repressed as Hell when it comes to relationships because for the longest time I’ve never had any interest, and even when I started thinking about what it’d be like- I know that logically I’m not good for one. I don’t want to hurt someone because I’m so confused about what I’m capable of providing or how I feel about certain things. People deserve better.

I just hate that it’s so difficult for me to know if I liked someone or not because I always thought that if you have feelings for someone, you’re supposed to KNOW. It’s just- if anyone should know it should be me. But that’s a song and dance I keep running into. Not that it even matters because I wouldn’t have pursued anything if I did, since he’d only have been disappointed. Besides, that super nice guy ended up ghosting me jskdnffjkdsnfkds — One day he didn’t eat lunch with me, which was fine and I respected that. But after that day he simply stopped talking to me at all or even LOOKING in my direction; I said hi and waved and smiled and was polite at first but he ignored me like I wasn’t even there. Which, ngl- kinda hurt :’D

It was for the best because now I spend my lunch watching vids and writing, which I did before he started talking to me and is how I normally prefer to spend my time. So, silver linings... but it was still a dick move and it made me feel like shit for a while after. Especially seeing him around and feeling awkward as Hell and wondering if I did something wrong. I know I didn’t and he had personal shit too and maybe he even just got tired of the Friend Zone, but still... the mind can be a real Bitch and that definitely didn’t help with my whole ‘being good enough’ dilemma. Sooooooooo- anyways... Yeah, just had to get some stuff off my chest I guess.

Moral of the story: Doesn’t matter if I had feelings for him or not because he ended up completely dropping me anyway. SDNFKJDSFDS - I hope he’s doing well and wish him the best because he really was a good guy, but also - ... fuk him for approaching me and then deciding I wasn’t even worth the courtesy of a goodbye or explanation.)

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 17 OF 22

No crush Of ink or injury, no lacerating wish. Extinguish me from this.

- "A Girl Ago", Lucie Brock-Broido

--

And because the world treats every one of us like a joke sometimes, what had kept Theo up all night tossing and turning in bed without any relief goes unnoticed by her.

Blame it on the excitement, blame it on the adrenaline, or maybe just blame Theo for how good he is at hiding it, but she misses all the signs. When Theo comes out of his room, she is already long gone, on her bike crossing the university to meet up with her other friends to tell the good news; only staying long enough to tell Theo and Vincent, who she intended to tell first.

So she does not catch Theo hunched over a mug of hot chocolate his brother made, looking at his reflection on the surface. She does not catch Theo looking out at the road outside. She does not catch Theo fumbling with his phone wondering if he should send a message, ask to follow, ask if he can join in their celebration.

She only catches the after.

Like Theo half-heartedly responding to messages.

Or Theo’s lukewarm small talk when she comes to visit at the bookshop.

Or the way he can’t look her in the eyes when they are talking.

Or the fact that he keeps asking Arthur to take the books she’s returning to Theo, even if she insists she wants to hand it over to him in person.

Or Vincent asking her if she and Theo have had a fight, because Theo has “been acting a little strange lately”.

The dots do not connect.

Not for a bit.

Whether or not they ought to is missed by the both of them, both already too deep into their own heads worrying about the what then. She would like to say it’s just like their first argument at the rooftop, the need for an explanation, the want for an apology, but then—then it isn’t.

Because what went wrong?

She doesn’t know.

When two people who don’t want to put into words what must be put into words get into something like this, it is almost like a dance: a conversation in slight movements and gestures, hoping that the other understands what they’re trying to get across. Her, looking over her shoulder before she leaves the bookshop, hoping Theo’s gaze is chasing after her and forces her to come back and ask what is wrong. Or him, swerving each conversation they have away from what he wants them to talk about, hoping she takes notice, hoping she confronts him for it.

They don’t.

Just narrowly missing each other’s feet as they twirl around each other.

For weeks.

She pretends nothing is wrong. Nothing can be wrong, right? Otherwise Theo would have reached out to her. Would have told her to her face what was going on. Isn’t that how Theo is? So instead, she goes on with life as if nothing is happening. Still sends links to slam poetry performances to Theo. Still drops by the bookshop whenever she can. Still makes small talk. Still asks Vincent how Theo is doing.

Nothing is wrong.

Theo is doing the opposite.

Beating himself up for the feeling. He doesn’t want to be selfish. It’s the last thing he wants to be. But how silly it is, that all that had been in Theo’s mind has been setting Vincent out into the world, but now that someone else has the opportunity to spread their wings and fly, Theo only feels conflicted. And he shouldn’t be, because he does not have a say in the matter, but the feeling remains anyway.

He isn’t sad that she’s going. He wants her to go. He’s sad that she will go and nothing will change and he will carry this feeling in his heart until it buries him.

Of course, there are easier ways to solve this matter, and all of them involve some sort of a conversation. But he doesn’t want to have them. Does not want to impose. Because saying it out loud is just going to make it harder for both him and her. He loves—loves—her enough to lie to her about it. Just so that if one of them has to carry around the weight of… this, then—

Let it be him.

Let it be just him.

She’s never wanted him.

So when she comes into the bookstore with bribery, a lunchbox full of the fluffiest pancakes he has ever seen and his favorite syrup—comes up to him and asks, “Is something going on, Theo?”

He gives her the best smile he can muster and says sweetly, “Never better.”

--

It’s a longing that she can only describe as a haunting.

Mostly because for the longest time she hadn’t even considered falling. Not that it was the kind of thing you could consider—but it had never crossed her mind that she would be able to look up and see Theo that way. She told herself he wasn’t going to be a distraction and—he hasn’t, and now he’s something completely different altogether.  At what point, she wonders, did his gaze start to feel different? When was the last time she had truly last seen him as nothing more than a friend?

When did it change and why hadn’t she noticed it?

And did Theo notice it too?

If he did, since when?

Why did he not tell her anything about it?

The next time she brings over food to him, it’s a lavish meal of chicken and soup and vegetables. Even Theo notices it’s a little more than usual, and he says a lot of thanks to her, promising to take her out to a meal one day. The mere promise sends heat rising up her face—and for the briefest of moments, she worries that maybe, maybe it has always been this way. That the flutter of warmth in her stomach and the feeling of softness in her mind has always been there, she just hasn’t paid enough attention to it.

How much has she lost in missing this?

The more she figures out, the more she craves it. It’s like suddenly realizing you can speak a language once foreign. Her tongue curves around the sound of I love you, whispered in secret—while she’s under the covers, when he’s out of earshot. Too scared to say it out loud because it might echo back. What then, if it did? What is to be done with it?

She isn’t in a rush. Besides, Theo is always there for her anyway, and—for sure, maybe, before she goes, she might tell him. Just to get it off her chest, she ought to tell him. For now, this is what she treasures. Blushing when he’s looking away. Brushing her hands against his so lightly but the warmth sears up her arm anyway. Calling his name: Theo! like ringing bells of starlight.

The more she notices it, the more obvious it becomes.

The hardened expression in Theo’s face when he talks to her. The way he flinches when she begins to talk about something related to the scholarship. His fisted hands. The way he sidesteps conversation when she talks about going away.

Why is Theo pulling away?

Nothing has changed. The months have passed and it’s still the same. She’ll always be chasing after the silhouette of Theo ahead of her, just one step out of reach.

--

When she asks Arthur to meet up with her at the literary club’s gazebo, Arthur asks Dazai to come with him too. And then Dazai asks Isaac to come with him too. So now, on a sunny Wednesday spring afternoon, the four buddies are huddled together around some sliced apples and tea.

“Did you bring apples on purpose,” Dazai asks, more statement than question, and Isaac flushes red.

He answers through grit teeth: “It was the only thing I had in my office.”

“Keeping apples in your office, huh. I see,” Arthur says smugly, but then she interrupts.

“I don’t know how this ended up to be quite a group, but can I ask what I’ve been meaning to ask, now?” The three turn to her like scolded boys, and she shakes her head. “Why are you guys like this?”

Arthur’s “Like what? Like good friends?” and Dazai’s “That’s what you wanted to ask?” overlap each other.

Isaac glares at the two not-lovers and turns to her instead. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to ask how Theo has been,” she says, turning to Arthur. “Is he okay?”

He blinks. “You haven’t been talkin’ to him?”

She shakes her head. “I think he’s avoiding me…”

“As I expected,” Arthur says. “He’s been awfully gloomy lately. How long has this been going on?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” she shrugs. “Did something happen at work?”

“No, pretty peachy,” Arthur answers. “And with Vincent?”

“Not that I’ve heard…” she says. “I still go to their house sometimes to help out on the exhibit, but…”

Dazai leans forward on the table. “Did you fight over something?”

She frowns. “Not that I know… He was fine one week and then not the other.”

Isaac pipes up, already invested in the case. “What happened on that week?”

For a moment, she pauses, trying to think of when it all started; upon realization, she lowly whispers: “The week of the scholarship announcement…”

Isaac’s forehead creases with uncertainty. “Why would he be upset about that?”

“I have an idea,” Dazai says, a placid smile on his face.

“I think we have the same one,” his not-lover answers, and they look at each other and nod.

“No, no way.” She waves her hands in denial in front of her face. “I don’t like him that way.”

Arthur and Dazai give her a look.

Isaac looks confused.

“I can’t,” she says, and it takes all that she has in her to say that. She made a promise to herself that there would be no distractions. She does, but she can’t. “Besides, he doesn’t like me that way,” she explains. “I’m okay—entirely alright—with being friends. And that’s my concern right now.”

Dazai gives a disapproving look. “You seem to be more concerned than he is.”

“He’s… he’s just always like that, okay?”

“And you’re willing to just go on with it?”

“Babe, relax,” Arthur says, hand going over Dazai’s. Dazai immediately calms. She wonders what it would be like to have something like that.

“Look, I’m sorry,” she says sheepishly, looking over at Dazai. He’s obviously riled up—and for concern over her too—but, “I think this is something we have to sort out on our own. I just… see, this is why I only asked Arthur over. I just wanted to ask if he’s doing alright. It’s been weird.”

And weird is the tamest adjective she can choose for the back-and-forth they’ve been doing.

The conversation between the four of them goes some way or another after that. She doesn’t… exactly pay attention anymore. It’s a good thing her friends know she’s here to be listened to more than anything else. She tunes in and out of the conversation like a broken radio losing frequency in the middle of a raging storm. At some point, Arthur begins talking about her having “gained wings” and how Theo is just dealing with his own issues—the kind he doesn’t want others to sort out with him. At some point, Dazai goes quiet, just glaring at a point on the table as she nods and pretends to be listening to Arthur’s little dialogue about friendship and trust. And at some point, even Isaac speaks, something about focusing on her instead of him.

But she doesn’t really catch it.

At least, not until Dazai’s stern voice brings her back to the ground, a serious “I’ll walk her home” in that tone of voice that’s the kind you can’t argue with, the same it’s decided way when he told her he was going to start being fuck buddies with Arthur. It’s only then that she notices the sun is making its way out of the sky. She glances up at Dazai in concern, but it seems like the other two have gotten the message crystal clear, Arthur already getting up off his seat.

“Well, I guess I can walk my way home as well, hm? Newt, won’t you come with me for a little while,” he says, not really asking for permission, already tugging Isaac up to his feet. “See you soon, little miss.”

“See you soon too, Arthur, thank you for today,” she answers, and she and Dazai watch the other two men scamper off. God knows where Arthur is taking Isaac, but she sure feels a lot quieter with only Dazai with her. Dazai’s been with her from the start of all this, after all—the little crush, the stupid dare. It only feels right that she spent what seemed like the end of it with him as well.

Why is she catastrophizing? It doesn’t have to end. Sometimes some friendships drift off and then come back later on; sometimes even years in between. She’ll only be gone a year, just a little over 365 days—it’s not the end of the world. And when she comes back, she’ll still have at least another year to stay here in the university, to finish her thesis, to wrap up her college life… she’s not going away for good.

But why does it feel like that, then?

It is nearly evening now, and the sky outside is that beautiful kind of lavender that’s so nice to take photos of. She sits next to Dazai under the gazebo, quiet, all the thoughts about friendship and the scholarship and Theo and going away simmering like some sort of sadistic mind soup. Arthur is right—she’s gained wings, and she shouldn’t let any sort of weight try to get her from lifting off the ground. She should focus on the more important things right now, because the wind is right there, and she should just focus on jumping into what she’s long wanted, and not the awkward push and pull of someone—something—that doesn’t even know if it wants to stay, if it wants to exist.

But still. It continues to tug at her heart like a trap, and her ankles are securely locked underneath the knot of rope. It’s starting to burn with how hard she’s pulling, but—she doesn’t want to cut it off, either.

If she could. If that was worthwhile.

Instead, she leans against Dazai’s shoulder and takes a deep breath, trying to quiet down all the screaming going on in her heart and her head.

“Still unsure?” Dazai asks, each word weighed carefully, and she shakes her head, closing her eyes.

In the darkness, she sees Theo’s familiar, comforting face.

She doesn’t want to see it.

Not when he doesn’t want to show it himself.

“Not really,” she tells Dazai. “I’m pretty sure of going.”

Dazai hums. “But not of anything else.”

“No, not anything else.” She sighs, deeply, the kind that makes her feel like her bones are rattling on the inside. “You know of the international finishing courses, don’t you?”

“The ones where they let you take your thesis abroad? Yeah.”

“They offered it to me,” she says. Gently, like it’ll come true once it’s said. “They offer one every year to the batch they send off. This year they offered it to me.”

“Are you taking it?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “I told you, I’m sure of going but not anything else.”

“Like staying and coming back.”

“I’m terrified,” she admits, to partly to Dazai, but mostly to the evening wind. “I didn’t mean to get this attached.”

They let the confession get lost in the silence. The both of them, sitting in their usual spot, their version of the rooftop, the place they can be alone and be themselves. The anchor of their friendship. And Dazai, he is the anchor today. He lifts his arm and places it around her shoulders, surprising her with the motion—and then presses a kiss on the crown of her head.

She feels like crying.

Maybe Dazai wouldn’t mind, a little wet sleeve?

“Didn’t I tell you?” he says, softly. No chide, no reprimand. “Steer clear.”

[prettyboylovemail]

since he’s been on your mind lately, i’d love to hear any headcanons/thoughts you have about your ship with kaito

Ahhhhhhh shit. W-well— 🥺👉👈

A lot of the thoughts I’ve had have been kinda angsty/bittersweet by nature of danganronpa, but I do definitely have some cute thoughts for him too!!

General/Non-Killing Game HCs:

-Kaito is absolutely oblivious to my crush for the longest time. He needs it literally spelled out for him. He teases Shuichi for crushing on Kaede, but has absolutely no clue that I feel the same way about him.

-He’s naturally a physically clingy person. He’s constantly got his arm around my shoulders, hugging me, leaning on me, etc, even before we started dating. Most of the time, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

-At first, Kaito’s loud and extroverted nature was a little tiring, but I got used to it. And it helped to bring me out of my shell a lot more. My s/i is a lot more talkative and friendly with people since she started hanging around him and everyone notices the life that he brings out in her.

-This goes without saying, but stargazing is one of our favorite activities to do together. We spend time just laying on a blanket together, pointing out constellations, and talking about anything that comes to our minds.

-Kaito’s constantly asking me/my s/i tons of astrology questions. He’s super eager to learn anything and everything he can. He would’ve already been interested in learning about my talent anyways, but the fact that it has to do with stars and space makes him even MORE enthusiastic about it.

Plot/Killing Game HCs (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!):

-My s/i has been adopted as one of Kaito’s many self-proclaimed sidekicks since early on in the game. Although, this title eventually drops (by the 5th chapter) when Kaito acknowledges that Hana is too good to be just a ‘mere sidekick’.

-Kaito is always the very first person to defend me in a trial. There are a couple instances where someone (mainly Kokichi) will try to instigate conflict by throwing me under the bus, even if he knows that I’m innocent, and Kaito falls for it every single time.

-My s/i feels useless in a lot of the trials and investigations, but Kaito praises her observational skills on multiple occasions and claims that she could very well be the next Ultimate Detective after Shuichi. She turns that idea down every time.

-Going off of that, they actually spend the majority of the investigation together during the 4th chapter. While Kaito usually hangs around Shuichi during the previous investigations, due to him being a suspect in the 4th case, he is kept away from Shuichi by Kokichi. Because of this, I volunteer to stay with him, and we investigate together until it’s time to meet back up with Shuichi and the others.

-The 4th trial is the one moment where Hana actually loses her composure in front of everyone when Kaito attempts to punch Kokichi and ends up getting punched instead. When Kokichi mocks him, along with the others, for being sad about Gonta’s death, Hana catches Kokichi off guard by smacking him and yelling at him for being heartless.

-The only other time that Hana loses her cool and completely breaks down is during the 5th trial, for understandable reasons. Kaito tries to reassure her that he’s alright with this outcome and that she should survive on with everyone else, but she can’t control her tears. Kaito’s execution is extremely hard on her, but she doesn’t blame him for what happened.

I know I have way more thoughts than this, but these are the ones that come to mind immediately lol. Thank you so much for asking!! ❤️

[propertyofnikkisthighs]

Afraid Ch. 11

Sorry it’s taken me so long to update guys

Taglist: @sparxx27​, @kaitieskidmore1​, @fandomshit6000​

“How do you have a baby shower without knowing what baby stuff to buy?” Sharise huffed as she helped me set the long table outside with an array of snacks for the guests that would be here any minute.

“Because our baby is not in need of anything and this is a celebration of love.” Nikki mocked my words from when he questioned the point in having people over ‘when they could just send gifts’.

“I only get to do this the first time once. Assholes.” I scowled arranging the cupcake tower.

“It’s like the attitude was sucked out of Nikki and transplanted into you via baby.” Sharise giggles poking my cheek as I swat her hand away.

“Yeah well this is Nikki’s baby so let’s just pray he doesn’t come out with hooves and horns.” I grumble. Nikki’s hand connects swiftly with my butt and I yelp giving him the finger as he makes his way into the house.

“What names have you guys narrowed down?” She leans against the table and takes a cookie from the tray on display.

“We haven’t discussed them much with everything going as fast as it has been.” I sigh. Between the boys working on their album, Nikki and I moving in together, and the press that has been hounding us since word spread of my being pregnant; we just haven’t had the time to discuss the simplistics like names.

“(Y/N), you guys have to make time for this.” She crossed her arms and fixed me with a glare that she’s clearly perfected from scolding Vince.

“I only have a middle name picked out for a boy, but I haven’t approached Nikki about it yet.” I rubbed my hand down my face. “It’s Thomas. For Tommy.”

Sharise nodded her head as if she was stockpiling a list of first names that would sound perfect with Thomas.

“WHERE IS MY FAVORITE INCUBATOR?” Tommy’s boisterous voice booms through the house and to the backyard despite all doors and windows being closed.

“Who the fuck taught him that word?” I groan in time for Tommy and Heather to come through the back door with gifts in tow.

Tommy sets the oversized gift on the ground and beelines toward me to press his hands against my stomach as he always does. Out of the corner of my eye I catch Heather rolling her eyes and I try to suppress my urge to spit venom in her direction. Nikki really did give me his attitude via baby. I smile warmly at the sound of Tommy cooing about how he can’t wait for the ‘little dude’ to make his appearance. The family our baby had was unorthodox and full of leather and bad decisions, but I couldn’t deny that he was loved beyond compare.

Skylar napped peacefully on the makeshift bed we had created out of couch cushions while the boys, Sharise, Heather, Sam, Tom, and I chatted in the kitchen. Whiskey and Alarik were curled up close enough to each other on the sofa to not look as if they actually enjoyed each other’s company. The food was put away from the festivities and the boys had kindly taken care of putting the baby’s gifts in the room we had begun to set up for him. I sighed contently from my seat on Nikki’s lap as he rubbed my thigh and focused back in on the conversation being had around me.

“You ferals really are as dumb as ya look.” Mick scoffs sipping his new drink of choice, sweet tea.

Tommy tosses a small bit of bread off his plate at Mick in retaliation, but is immediately scolded by Heather to not throw food in the house. I’m surprisingly grateful for her doing so since it’s less I have to try to clean up and the baby bump is already making bending difficult and I’m only six months along.

“I’m just saying it would be cool to bring (y/n) and the baby at least for the american portion of the tour” Tommy defends his stance.

“Bringing a baby on tour is idiotic.” Mick insists.

“I might have to side with Mick on this one man.” Vince shrugs rubbing Sharise’s shoulder where his hand rests. “We didn’t bring Skylar on any of the tours.”

“Skylar wasn’t a newborn when we went on any tours.” Nikki pipes up. “I don’t want to miss out on any crucial moments.”

A dozen pairs of eyes fall on me as they await for me to pipe up on the subject. The subject that I hadn’t even considered yet.

“Uh I think there’s still time to think about that don’t you. I mean the album isn’t even fully finished and you guys still have to name it.” I fidgeted nervously.

“Speaking of naming the album” Nikki’s sudden excitement shifts the conversation. “I think Dr. Feelgood will fit best.”

The boys argue back and forth on the name and concept art ideas which resulted in Sharise, Heather, and I going to the living room to play with Skylar. Although in typical Nikki fashion, in the end the name that he wants and the concept art he scribbled out is what is the final decision for all the boys. Mick is the first to leave once that is all settled with Vince and company not far behind. Heather left to meet a few of her friends while Tommy hung back with us.

“So since it is just us three” I start and take a deep breath to gather the courage to do this since I hadn’t even run the idea by Nikki yet.

“Yo (y/n) I love you and Nikki is my husband, but I can’t have a threesome with him and his pregnant girlfriend.” Tommy interrupts and soda shoots out of Nikki’s nose sending him into a coughing fit.

“No Tommy. What? That isn’t what I was going to say.” I shake my head. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Oh shit” Tommy laughs. “My bad, it’s just what usually happens when Sixx and I are alone with a girl”

I raise an eyebrow at Nikki who is still recovering and holds his hands up in the best defense that he can muster.

“Anyway.” I continue “I wanted to ask your permission to give the baby the middle name Thomas, for his uncle Tommy.”

In retrospect I don’t know what I expected his response to be, but crying hadn’t crossed my mind.

“I was actually gonna ask the same thing.” Nikki smiles rubbing Tommy’s back as small sobs cut through his body. “I was even going to take it a step further and ask you to be his godfather and take him if anything were to happen to (y/n) and I.”

Tommy’s suddenly swooping me up in the air and hugging me close before placing me back on the floor and wrapping Nikki in a bone crushing hug. He wipes his tears and places his hands on my stomach leaning in close.

“I promise to be the best uncle Tommy you could ask for little dude.” He speaks to my stomach and a face splitting grin replaces his features.

“He kicked my hand!” He bellows in his excitement. “And he just did it again.”

Nikki and I exchange grins over his head and I know we’ve made the right decision. Tommy spends a good majority of the rest of his time at the house talking about all the cool things he was excited to do with the baby once he was old enough. That night I surprisingly had the best sleep I have had my whole pregnancy because I didn’t have to worry about my baby ever not feeling loved. Calm down. Be calm. It’s fine that Nikki’s birthday is a week away and you haven’t gotten him anything. That’s fine. I paced the kitchen while I bit my nails and tried to narrow down ideas of what to give Nikki. He only bought a house for us and is the father of my child, it’s totally normal that I would have no idea what to give him. The idea pops in my head and before I can even double think it I’m dialing the number into the phone connected to the wall. I twirl the cord around my finger and pray there’s an answer.

“Hello?” Mick gruff voice comes through the speaker.

“Mick! It’s (y/n).”

“Oh god what did Nikki do this time?” He groans.

“No nothing. Jeez those boys have really traumatized you.” He chuckles under his breath and I continue “I just don’t know what to get Nikki for his birthday and you’re kind of like their hateful drunk uncle that no longer drinks, but you know the boys through and through and I need your help.”

“First take a damn breath you’re making me feel winded. Second, Nikki loves to capture moments. Get him a camera.” He said as if it was obvious.

“What kind of camera?” I ask grabbing a pen and paper.

“I don’t give a shit.” And the line goes dead. To give him credit that is the longest he’s stayed on the phone as far as I’ve seen.

Alright, now to just find a store to get a camera that would satisfy Nikki’s needs.

Nikki adjusts the ill fitting birthday hat on his head and grabs another present off the coffee table in front of him.

“From Tommy and Heather, May all your struggles be in bed.” Nikki reads the card attached to the nicely wrapped gift and turns three shades of red. I had heard all about the so called speech that he gave at their wedding mirroring those exact words.

Nikki tears the wrapping paper off the package and shakes the box a little to see if he can guess what could be in there. Unable to guess what it could be, he opens the box to find red fuzzy handcuffs.

“Tommy!” I squeak turning a shade of red to match Nikki’s.

“Hey man I’m just trying to help my friends” He winks and takes a sip from the wine bottle in front of him.

“Lets move on” Nikki nervously chuckles and I see him grab my gift for him. I gulp down the nerves that are building in my stomach and brace for impact. “Aww baby this one is from you.”

I can feel my heart beat rushing in my ears as he tears the paper off the box for the camera and freezes once he sees the packaging. A small grin graces his features as he opens the package containing a Leica M4-P and he pulls it out to examine it.

“How did you know I needed a new camera?” He asks not bothering to look up from the camera he was turning over repeatedly in hand.

“I can’t just divulge all my secrets.” I flick my eyes over to Mick and mouth a thank you to which he just gives me a quick nod.

Nikki motions for me to come sit in his lap and I follow suit letting the boys wolf whistle as we exchange a few kisses. Nikki gives them the finger and a I suppress a small giggle at their behavior.

“Well you know what this means don’t you (y/n)?” Vince asks smirking.

“What does it mean?”

“That you have to be his first photoshoot.” Vince waggles his eyebrows making sure I understand his innuendo is sexual.

“All right time for cake!” I exclaim to try to take the pressure off of me and I stand quickly.

Pain rushes through my body and I clutch my stomach. No this isn’t right.

“Babe are you okay? Is the baby on your bladder again?” Nikki asks concern thick in his voice as I double over in pain from the cramps suddenly hitting my body.

“Hospital. Now.” Is all I can muster out with tears falling from my eyes. Another cramp hits my body and I’m curling in on myself more.

“What’s going on?” He scoops me in his arms as the boys help him with our stuff and carrying me to the car.

“I think the baby is coming. Early”

[purplesurveys]

1096

survey by doedear

When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? It depends on what I’m signing up for. For social media and informal sites I use the same username I’ve been using for like a decade now just because it makes it easier for me to remember; for more professional websites I use my first name, my middle initial, and my surname. 

What do you think might be someone else's first impression of you? The most common impression is quiet and aloof, which I’m honestly fine with.

Is texting having a negative or a positive effect for social relationships? I appreciate that it makes staying connected with my loved ones a lot easier, but I disagree with how it’ll sometimes be used to deal with situations that are ideally handled by person, like breakups or serious arguments. In other words it can definitely have both; it depends on how it’s used.

Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? I might have a personal problem with it, but it’s not like I would do anything to prevent it from happening. I would not be in the place to do so. I will probably distance myself from that friend though, just so that I don’t have to get updated on what’s going on between them.

Have you ever been addicted to something other than a drug? No.

Have you ever been addicted to a drug? Nope.

Do you like macadamia nut cookies? Sure, though I really ever only eat one kind; Starbucks has a dark chocolate macadamia cookie that I like to get from time to time.

What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Philippine English, which I’d say sounds a bit similar to American English, excep for the small differences here and there  of our differences in pronunciation.

Bruno Mars - fail or win? He’s a win for me. When it comes to Top 40/pop music, he has always been one of my honest favorites. Have kind of a crush on him too lol, so there’s that.

Can you sleep without a fan on? During this time of the year, yes. It doesn’t last that long since Philippines was never meant to be a cold country, though.

Does history interest you at all? It really does; I can watch, read, and go to museums about it all day if I could. It was also my favorite class and it was the subject I could rely on to have good grades in and pull my average up, hahaha.

What's something you wish you could do-over? As much as possible I don’t really think of this as I don’t see the point in focusing on situations that are already done and over with. But if I had no choice, I’d pick the time I was a college freshman and make myself less-breakdown-y and less-depression-y.

How many times a day do you apply deoderant? Once, at the start of the day.

Have you ever tried any drugs? Other than caffeine, no.

What caused the most intense physical pain you've ever felt? The time I accidentally ripped my earring off and permanently disfigured my piercing. Also, when I touched a plugged-in clothing iron thinking it wouldn’t be hot enough.

Do you like those Sperry Top-Sider shoes? They’re actually pleasant to look at, yes. I’d buy a pair for myself.

Can you wear shoes like that without getting blisters on your ankles? When I’ve worn them like 5 times already, yeah. I always get blisters with newly-bought pairs, though.

Would you agree that dark chocolate tastes like rotten chocolate? Uh, no? That’s some poorly-made dark chocolate you have. 

Do you touch your lips when you're nervous? I have other habits.

Do you think you can read other people's body language well? Yeah. This is on surveys a lot...

Are you a good driver? I’mmmmmm honestly a little reckless because my temper is shortest when on the road lol. But since I’ve driven the longest out of all my friends and have grown used to parking in tricky spots, changing lanes, overtaking, etc., they all still prefer to ride with me.

Did you pass your driver's test the first time you took it? Yes. I think he passed me out of sympathy though (because I did terrible and we both knew it), because failing me would’ve taken so much more time on my end and theirs. And in the Philippines, getting things over with matters more than quality control haha.

Would you rather be involved in a watergun or a paintball gun war? At this point maybe a paintball gun war, since I’ve been to many water gun fights before.

Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? It’s the same length. I haven’t had it layered since the 5th grade.

Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? A friend who’s new to driving, like Jo or Angela.

What's a quick fix for a bad hair day? I just dab my hair with some water at the sink; it’s usually able to do the trick and make me look prepared when I’m unable to take a full shower.

Do you enjoy flying or do you get scared? The idea of accidents and crashes scare me, of course, but I try not to let it ruin my experience of flying and traveling.

Be honest. Do you like making other people feel jealous? Sometimes but it has waned more as I’ve gotten older. It has just started to mean less and less through the years and as my priorities change.

Have you ever purposely made someone of the opposite sex jealous? No. When it came to Mike, I didn’t really flaunt my relationship since I felt bad for him.

Are you addicted to shopping? Nope, but I can definitely see myself being if I ever decide to make it a weekly habit.

Do you always wear mascara and eyeliner? I never wear either.

Do you have any huge hoodies lined with snuggly fur on the inside? No, and I can tell you that is uncommon to see here because that sounds insanely warm to wear.

Is there anything you do, kind of habitually, that's completely mindless but helps you think? I don’t think so. I’m not sure I understood the question, either...

Do you like headphones or ear-buds more? Earbuds. Headphones undeniably have better quality, but they’re bulky.

What's your favorite winter sport? I don’t watch or play any.

What's something you're very good at? Meeting deadlines. I never miss one.

Where do you spend the majority of your summer? At home? ...Where else am I supposed to spend it in? Haha.

Who do you usually spend the most of your summer with? My family. I don’t have any yearly practices set every summer.

How old were you and where did you go on your first real date? I was 16; it was a quaint, Italian-American restaurant in Greenbelt.

Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach at night? I don’t think so. I would love that experience.

Do you like sour gummy worms? Yeah. I like the more gelatinous kind than the gummy candies with sour powder on them, though.

Have you ever helped a complete stranger with anything? I’m sure I have, but nothing super specific is coming to mind at the moment...just little things like holding the door open for someone carrying a heavy bag, cleaning up the plates and utensils on my table so that the server won’t have to do much work, teaching a stranger the COVID safety protocols before entering an establishment if they look confused, etc.

Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? Probably not.

When playing a sport, are you more focused on winning or having fun? Winning, which I know doesn’t make me the best person to play with so I prefer to watch by the sidelines anyway. I do have fun playing table tennis though :)

Who's the last person who gave you a piggy back ride? Gabie.

Who's the last person that you gave a piggy back ride? I’m lighter than everyone else I know so I’ve never given one.

Rock, paper, or scissors? I switch it up every time.

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? No. I liked lightly biting my ex as a show of affection and just to get her attention whenever I wanted to be playful.

Are you any good at dancing? No. I’m good at memorizing routines, but could never do them on my own.

Even if you aren't, do you like to dance? Only by myself.

What makes you feel the most 'alive'? New places and new experiences.

Whose conversations do you appreciate the most? Angela and Hans.

Is there anyone's advice you value enough to take against your own judgment? Gabie. At least in the past.

How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? Very seldom, which is why I try to give it to myself every weekend as a reward.

Do you like being alone or does it drive you crazy? I appreciate if I’ve been around people for too long, but I also shouldn’t have too much of it.

Do you have a trampoline? No.

Do you get nervous when driving in convertibles, knowing that if you flipped, you'd be screwed? I’ve never had this concern because I’ve never driven in one.

What's your favorite Pixar movie? Toy Story, of course.

Are you capable of successfully lying to someone you love? I guess, but I’ll hate doing it.

Who do you adore? Angela’s mom.

[chirpycreations]

#Memento Mori

So, I guess this is my story. I wanted to write this during the stream but my dyslexia forbays me from being able to write and listen to two completely unrealed things at the same time, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away, so here it is, nice and late ^^;

- - - - - -

Well, I was late to the party like most things in my life. I found the channel at 16 days to go thanks to MatPatt's theory.  I haven't watched all 369 videos. My last count put me at 100 and something, maybe 150 ish. I did concider pulling an allnighter the night before to watch all of the remaining ones but I chose against it in the end. I'm happy with the memories I have and not seeing all the videos, because those videos I did watch I'll treasure forever; bing watching them while despritly trying to finish my Level 3 Design board for school. 

Working away on Clipstudio paint, and in the corner of my eye laughing, crying, rolling my eyes at the chaios that was unfolding while my wrist screamed at me, my head hurt....I was so sure I was going to burn out again like the two years prior and not manged to finish, but you're videos gave me the strength to do the impossible.  If you guys could make over 365 videos in a year, I could finish x2 A1 pannels worth of art and...I did. To a good standard too. I won my schools Top Visual Artist award yesterday at prize giving and top of my Design class.

At first I saw the channel as nothing more than a bit of shit posting, so I wasn't too bothered. A bit of random nonses (It took me soooo long to convince my self to watch cooking with Sex toys, but it was one of the greatest laughs of my month if not longer). The last few months have been hard on me, my family have been waiting 4 and half years to get NZ residency and missing all the Uni application dates and schollarships has had me quite down the last few months listening to everyone around talking about there future plans while I can't progress with mine, because my GOD have you seen international fees???Anyway, your shit posts really helped bring a smile to my face while I was struggling, especailly the halloween stuff: I loved the edward sissors hands, it was the first one I watched and I still love it- so plan and utterly dumb. I'm doing better now. It's still hard, but I really think your videos have have helped me so much. 

 I think the video which hit hardest for me and acutally helped me to really understand what the channel was about was the hypnotist one with the lemon.  What the lady said to both of you really, really hit home hard for me- I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry my eyes out. 

Ethan, your story hit home for me because I also went through that as a kid. I was bullied so badly as a kid. Told I was nothing, would be nothing- I have dsylexia too, and I stunk in school for the longest time; bottom of every class, made to take lessons to learn how to put a wooden alphabet together forward and backwards in YEAR 6 (I was 12 and could do so just fine, but the teachers obviously didn't think so). I've been reserved, shy, had the most crippling self of steem issuse for all my life and only in the last few years since moving to NZ I've started to recover and regain some of that confidence I lost; had broken.  

"If there was a little girl inside who hurt, who had a discomfort, imagine sitting next to that younger version of you that was in pain or hurt and let her know that she's safe. That little girl looks up to you, trusting you to keep her safe: You're safe." -Unus Annus, 294:11:34:20

It really hit me so hard because I needed someone to tell me this as a kid, hold me close, tell me everything would be ok when I thought my world was crashing down and listing to these words I saw my current self giving back what she needed. And now when I'm scard, doubting myself I see her, I see both of them, current me and past me holding hands and me giving her the support she needs. I have a illustration I made on my desk with the quote, as a reminder when times get tought and that little girl forgetts she's not alone anymore.

Mark, your story also hit home with me too.  Like I mentioned, I have dyslexia and for me english -mostly writting- has always been a major problem which had held me back, like a brick chained to my leg and I have to hike up this moutain with it. I still remember disnictly this one time in science I lost out on a high mark because I couldn't spell auoghaous (oesophagus- still can't XD) and my teacher wouldn't believe that was what I had tried to write. I was so bitter about that for the longest time, I still am, 6 years on and still remeber it like yesterday. Anyway, the reason your story hit home is because it reminded me of my old english teacher and what she did to me. Made me into the person I am now. I was in Year 8 (14 years old) and at a parents meeting infront of my dad she said, "you're daughter will never ger higher than a 5- in english. This crushed me so much, because a -5 is avarage for a Year 6 and at this level I should have been getting 5+/6 (like everyone else in my class) - fucking dyslexia. It's like a brick wall of titainium when you're a kid.  

I don't know what happened but something in me snapped and I was determained to prove her wrong. I had that teacher for 2 years before I left to NZ (from the UK) and never ONCE did she give me a mark higher than 5- (mostly because the Brittish system require good spelling to reacher 5, something which again, my dyslexia was against and at the time computers weren't a thing in my school as a resorse for dyslexic kids like myself). It sucked, but I kept trying to prove her wrong. I studied, practiced, revised hard and then in my last exam, an external she didn't mark I got a 7+ for reading and 7- for writting with an 8+ being the highest. I proved her wrong.  I proved a lot of people wrong. I kept working hard and now I'm near the top of every class I take. You're story reminded me of myself and why I keep pushing myself. Why I continue to drive to achieve the best I can. Be the best person I can. 

I know this is long, so before I wrap up I wanted to say thank you. You're channel has not only helped some of my old traumas heal, but I also have a much greater appreciation for life which I guess is crazy concidering I was only apart of it for 16 days, but...it really has made an impact to me. I don't think I ever relised how valuble life is. How important every second is. Death and moving on has always scared me. Moving to NZ and leaving everything I knew and had behind has been one of my biggest trumas for the last 4 years, learning to let go and move on- I use to hate change- ,but now I think I can accept it and move on. I've just finished my last year of high school, I have to make this drastic change in mylife again, moving on, going to uni one day, but I'm ready for it. "Death gives life meaning"; the end, moving on, give the past meaning and means being able to except and be ready to imbrase the future that's coming. Whether in the next few seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months years... I really do feel better prepared for it. 

I hate the end, I've been writting a story now for 3 years and I've been scared of how to end it, I've been avoiding it because I love the characters. I don't want them to go, to end, but now. I think I'm willing to acept the fact that maybe it's time I let them go. Write them the end they deserve and move on. Nothing last forever, all great story are great because like the channel it's the ending which gives them meaning. 

So...thank you guys, Mark, Ethan, everyone behind the camera. You're work has really made a possitive impact in my life, escpecally the hynpotist video, so thank you. I'm going to start treasuring every second, making every millifractal of a second count. I've been torn for the longest time between a stable career in science, or a dream career in art. And I'm gonna go for it. I'll take the risk, the gamble, shoot for the stars and if I miss I miss. Atleast I can say I tried to do what made me happy and when I do succed it'll be even more rewarding to know I did the impossible. So thank you, I'll treasure every memory and the page of quote I have from todays live stream. 

 “Every second is a chance to turn your life around." 

"When you get those ideas in your head say YES! You never know how you're going to suprise yourself."

"Death gives life meaning."

"Don't cry because its over, cry because it happened."

"Don't take any second for granted, don't waist any moment."

"It's easy to live life in wants and desires, but it's making every second count that matters. Do what makes you happy, use every second wisely, you'll never get that time back."

And my own personal quote, because I want to give back the wisdom you've shared with my own: 

"Memento Mori - Remeber death. Embrace it, don't fear it. Live life to it's fullest and take every opportunity that comes your way, because death is a promise, not a bargain. Life the life you want, so you can move on without regret. "

"Life tough and scary, 2020 for sure, but regardless I smile. Laugh in fears face, it happens. Laugh at the problems in life, they happen. Laugh at how close life comes to and continues to fail at killing you. Fill every moment with joy and positivity; we all need more of it in life."

"Bad days are like cloudy skies, they come and go. The weather can get stormy, but the sky will always clear eventually, the sun will shine again."