#anyways I saw wicked recently and was extremely inspired recently can you tell

[eah-the-retelling]

Apple and Raven chat in their dorm

Apple entered the dorm, humming cheerily as she sat at her vanity and began reapplying her makeup.

Raven, already on her bed and trying to relax, rolled her eyes. "Come on! It's the first day of school. No one can be that peppy all the time."

"Oh Raven, that's where you're wrooooong!" Apple sung the end of her sentence. "I'm happy because it's the first day of school. It's the perfect start to another perfect year. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Really? A perfect day." Raven sat up.

"All my days are perfect, silly."

"I refuse to believe you have a perfect day every single day of your life. It's not realistic. Surely something bad, however small had to have happened. Come on, tell me the entire day went off without a single thing not going your way."

Apple paused. "Well. I suppose technically there is one thing that did not go my way today. Not that I'll ever let one little hiccup stop me from having a perfect day."

"What happened, stubbed your toe? Accidentally stepped in some mud? Dropped something by accident?"

"No, nothing like that... I was told I wouldn't be taking a math class this semester."

"What??? You're bad thing that happened is you got out of math for a whole semester?"

"I happen to like math!" Apple said, staring sternly at Raven as she said it.

"Who likes math???" Raven laughed.

"As I just said, me! Math is straight forward and always true. Unlike with words where sometimes people say one thing when really they mean the opposite."

"Whaaaaat? The princess doesn't like sarcasm?" Raven asked sarcastically. Seeing Apple fail to laugh, Raven quickly apologized. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine. You're supposed to laugh at me. So really, I should be thanking you."

"Actually... About that. If you don't like sarcasm, are you telling me those times where I'm rude to you and you thank me for it... Are sincere?"

Apple finally returned to focusing on her reflection in her vanity. "Well if course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because people don't usually like when people treat them badly."

"Well you're supposed to treat me badly, you're a villain. My villain, specifically."

Raven sighed then rolled her eyes. "Yeah... Your villain."

"Since we're opening up and being sincere right now... Can I ask you something, Raven?"

"I guess it's only even." Raven responded, crashing to return to lying on her back in bed.

Apple, in the middle of applying mascara, held her arm in place as she asked, "Do you... Not... Like? Being a villain?"

Raven breathed incredulously. "No, not particularly."

"Why... Not?" Apple asked.

"Are you serious right now? Who would?!"

"Well I assume I would in your place."

Raven scowled as she raised her voice. "Oh, and why is that?"

"Because... That's just nature. I was born to be a Snow White so it's in my nature to be beautiful and perfect. Isn't everyone is the same way?"

Raven took a moment to process what Apple was saying. "Your... Nature? You think you are the way you are... Because you were born that way?"

"Well yes of course. We're all born with the talents needed to help us meet our destinies. That's why you're born with magic, right?"

"Uh... No, actually. We only need to poison you with a magic apple, you don't need freaky sorcery powers like my mom and I have to accomplish that. My mom was just a natural and did... Something to make sure I was born with just as much magic potential... If not more." Raven unleashed small bits of magical energy from her hand and watched the faint purple flames dissipate into the air.

"Huh. I was always told the Evil Queen line was full of menacing witches. I guess I just assumed your powers were per the course."

"You seem to assume a lot of things about me."

"So those times where you... Aren't rude to me. Those are... You being genuine? Not just part of the Evil Queen act where you try to gain my trust to betray me with the apple?"

Raven groaned. "There is no act! I don't want to be evil. I just want a normal life where I can just do my own thing and no one has to live in fear of me."

"But why would you want that?" Apple asked. "You have a legacy. You're one of the most important people in the entire world. There's so much responsibility on your shoulders and you just want to... What, ignore it?"

"I never asked to have this responsibility! It's a lot of pressure and maybe someone 'perfect' like you can handle it but I'm just a normal person! A normal person who already feels bad every day being avoided by everyone because they see me as a monster! So sorry, if I'm not as thrilled to live out my destiny as the world's most perfect princess who at least gets a happily ever after out of it."

Apple looked away to contemplate. "I... Never considered that someone might not be as enthusiastic about their destiny as I was. I mean not all destinies are as glamorous as mine... But. Our destinies make us... Important."

"Well I'm stuck having to choose between being important or being happy." Raven said solemnly.

Surprising both the girls, Apple's makeup began to run as a single tear fell down her cheek. "Raven... I'm. I'm so sorry for you. That sounds so hard."

Raven didn't know how to respond. For as smart as Apple is, it surprised Raven that she had genuinely never considered another person's perspective in regards to destiny. She felt the instinctual urge to tease her for this astonishing lack of empathy.

But on the other hand, this was the most... Human she had ever seen Apple. She was always so well put together and also so busy. She went from extracurriculars, to volunteering for the less fortunate, to studying to get ahead on classes that hadn't even started yet. All the while, she managed to keep it up with an impenetrable, smiling facade. But now here she was, crying. Over Raven of all people.

"Thanks... Apple." Seeing her face continue to be bereft with sadness convinced Raven even more that this was not some polite social script Apple was doing for appearances. It was genuine.

"For what it's worth," Raven continued, "I also think you're more than just your destiny."

Apple seemed to rein her emotions in enough by now to begin drying her tears and fixing her makeup. "What... Do you mean by that, Raven?"

"Well... You're destined to get everything handed to you on a silver plate. You don't even... Do much as Snow White, things just kind of happen to you."

Still teary eyed, Apple's face became terse as she prepared a rebuttal, but Raven cut her off. "Let me finish. You're destined to get everything and yet you're still out here working hard like you need to earn it. You're at the top of the class, you're involved in everything. You barely even sleep. You may be the most privileged person I've ever met... But I've also never seen anyone work as hard as you. And that has nothing to do with your destiny. That's all you, Apple."

Apple let Raven's words sink in. "Thank you, Raven. That was. Very kind."

[highandlowchemo]

21.08.18 FAQ

Inspired by that show on the ABC called 'You can't ask that!" (Have you guys seen it?), I thought to answer some questions that I get often, usually from those close enough or feel comfortable enough to ask. Also, check out 'You can't ask that'; the most recent one I saw was called 'Centenarians', it got me all choked up, anyway I digress.

Q. Will you lose your hair?

A. Probably not.. they say it might thin out a little but it's extremely rare for anyone to lose their hair on this type of chemo. Then again, it's unlikely for anyone to have bowel cancer in their early 30's so Iet's not rule anything out.

Q. Will you start losing heaps of weight?

A. Let's hope so because I've been stacking it on! The anti nausea medication they prescribe (the ones that keep me awake, refer to previous post 'Lay off the drugs, maan') cause me to never feel hungry, even after eating, I could eat the same meal again. I did quiz my oncologist on this as I was scared of looking like a junkie. She corrected my assumption by telling me that the gaunt look is not from the chemo, but rather the cancer itself.

Q. Will you keep working throughout your treatment?

A. No rest for the wicked! I told my boss when I first got diagnosed that I didn't want a pity party.. he assured me "..this is the construction industry mate, I think you're in the right place to avoid one of those". I am lucky enough to be able to work from home anytime but I feel it's best to show up in the office. Based on hours alone, Im no less productive than anyone else. Is it too late to throw that party?

Q. Did you think about pushing back the date of the wedding?

A. Not for a second. Cancer can only disrupt so much of our lives and I don't want to be a shackled by this anymore than I have to be. Secondly, I've never felt more loved and in touch with my friends and family. You've all been so supportive and kind; I only wish we could invite more people so everyone can come.

Q. Why don't you have Facebook?

A. Because it sucks. I have a log in because I needed to access the members only page of my martial arts class and these posts are quite personal, I wouldn't want to tell all those obligatory friends my trials and tribulations. They're for people like you who care enough to look this blog up and read about how I'm doing. And, who wants a virtual pity party?

Much love x