#anyways 2020 was a horrible year and I was a cringe teenager

[max-makes-art]

Absolutely horrified to be admitting this one publicly

addendums: cult classic tv overlaps with early supernatural seasons somewhat, i am aware, just choose based on the cultural context in which you read your first fic.

for weeaboo crew i was thinking of examples like hetalia, black butler, soul eater, etc--popular anime absolutely included but the distinction is that people who were into dragon ball weren't necessarily going to anime club every week and making deviantart stamps about yaoi, but people into ouran high school host club ABSOLUTELY were.

homestuck is in its own category because homestuck changed fandom forever at a critical time which just happened to be when i was growing up in fandom. harry potter, lotr, star wars, and twilight are in their own categories because they were such multimedia juggernauts they had entire archives dedicated solely and only to their fic that spanned multiple franchise reboots (books -> movies -> extended universes). (i acknowledge star trek technically would fit under this but at the time culturally it had more overlap with other cult classic tv fandoms.)

honorable mentions that didn't make it to the list because i had to pick-and-choose with the 12 answer limit: the final fantasy franchise (axed because i am not familiar enough with the fic scene to know if it was as iconic of a gateway drug as, like, naruto or twilight or star wars fic), a general YA lit category (YA lit outside of twilight only went mainstream slightly after this time period), the MCU (i have a hate boner for the MCU), a broader "american superhero comics" category (this would be valid as an option but i don't have the space)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All multiples of 10 for the ask meme!

10. What song sums up this year for you?

Fun question. For the world at large, I would say History Now by Two Cow Garage. For me personally… I almost hesitate to admit this because I feel like it’s a bit embarrassing to listen to this at all and just downright "cringe" to admit that it’s because the lyrics are relevant to life, but I finished listening to old the Russell Howard and Jon Richardson radio show a couple of months ago, and from that show's ending (well, the end of the Russell Howard era, anyway) I learned about a song that did, in fact, resonate with the year I've had. And that I proceeded to download and listen to probably too many times in the last couple of months. So I’m going to say I Can Do it Without You by the Kaiser Chiefs.

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

Well I definitely continued with the obsession that started in 2020, of British comedy generally. There are a few specific parts of British comedy that I only got into in 2021 and I’m really, really into them now, so I suppose that would count. Such as… The Last Leg, Nathan Barley, and everyone who was remotely involved in season 12 of Taskmaster. Oh, and Mae Martin.

30. Did you fall in love?

I certainly did. I first fell in love with Sandi Toksvig when I first ever listened to The News Quiz in about 2008, but I fell in love with her all over again when I got into QI and then Between the Stops in 2021.

…I’m joking. The person I fell in love with in 2021 was my amazing, perfect girlfriend. My love for Sandi Toksvig has never waned and therefore did not need to be renewed this year. Seriously though, I did fall very much in love with my amazing, perfect girlfriend.

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

This is a good question and I’m not sure what’s the best answer to it, but somewhat unconventionally, I’m going to go with the COVID-19 pandemic. It made me realize how much of a fundamental difference there is between myself and many of the people I know, as they found their mental health severely adversely affected by just the lack of social interaction. In the same way that my mental health is often adversely affected just by the fact of having to spend too much time in social situations. The pandemic didn’t change this about me. There are many specific things about pre-pandemic life that I horribly miss and want back – my friends, everything about the sport I’ve coached for years and the kids and teenagers and adults I work with there, a good pint of some local lager in a pub with my co-coaches after a practice. Big and little aspects of traveling to coach tournaments.

I miss all those things specifically, and hope they will come back. But I don’t miss social interaction generally. The mere experience of being alone doesn’t mess up my mental health. In 2020, I watched so many other people fall apart, not from losing specific things they cared about, but just because they need to physically be in other people’s presence or it ruins their mental health. I kept thinking that if this pandemic drags on long enough, I’ll find that happens to me too. I’ll hit the limits of my introversion, I’ll also realize I need to be around people just for the sake of being around people.

Well, it’s the end of 2021, and I’m still as much of an introvert as ever. I still miss all the specific things I loved, but for the general experience of just being alone a lot… honestly, I like it. So I guess that’s something the pandemic didn’t change for me.

50. What do you wish for yourself?

I think I answered this one in the above question. I want my life back. I want my pre-COVID life to come back in a way that’s genuinely safe. It’s a life that involved travel and tournaments with lots of people from all over the province/country/sometimes those who’d traveled internationally. It involves spending many hours a week in a crowded room full of people doing a full contact sport. It’s something that can’t be done in a socially distanced way, that can’t be done safely while the pandemic is still a threat, no matter how many “safety measures” people try to add. I want the pandemic to do that thing that people keep telling us it won’t do for a long time: go away so completely that all those things I used to do become safe again.

I also want to travel around Ireland and the UK, with the knowledge that doing so is genuinely COVID safe, and not just “technically allowed but still putting lots of people at risk”.

[nerdzzone]

Light After Dark: Chapter Two

Summary: Brooke Harris was trying her best to be grateful. As the world tackled the COVID-19 pandemic, she was healthy and safe and so was the rest of her family, but her dreams had very quickly been crushed by the economic fallout. Trapped on the quaint island of Jersey with nothing, but free time to wallow in her mistakes, Brooke’s mental health was taking a hit, but when she collides with a handsome stranger she starts to realize that the future might not be so bleak and there might still be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Note: I was planning for this to be longer so I’m sorry if this is a bit of a boring chapter, but I figured something is better than nothing and it gives some more insight into Brooke’s life. The next chapter shouldn’t take me as long as this one did so don’t lose hope! And a big thank you for every like and reblog of chapter one!

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April. 17. 2020

Considering I was anxious and restless before injuring my ankle, the few days after were fairly close to absolute hell. I couldn't put much weight on it, not enough to walk on, so I was stuck on the couch with my foot raised up on the ottoman unable to hobble away from my mother's fussing. She felt guilty for forcing me out of the house the day I got hurt and therefore felt she needed to hover and fret around me all day to make up for it. I mean, it was nice to have someone bring me drinks and snacks whenever I needed them, but for the most part constantly being asked if I was alright and the endless fluffing of cushions was suffocating.

There was a reprieve though on the fifth day after my injury. For once, during the evening, everyone was off doing their own thing and I had the living room to myself. I had a full glass of wine, a bowl of popcorn and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. It was just the break I'd needed and I was feeling fully refreshed as my movie finished and my sister flopped down on the couch next to me.

"Hey, Cassie," I greeted her, but was met with a simple grunt in response. "Where's Molly?"

"I sent her out to the garden with Mum," She sighed. "I just got off the phone with Luke."

I shot her a sympathetic look before nodding my head towards the bottle of wine on the table.

"Pour yourself a glass," I instructed. "You look like you need it."

She nodded, quickly dragged herself off the couch and headed to the kitchen before appearing moments later with a glass in her hand. Once she'd poured herself some wine, topped mine off and settled in, I resumed my questioning.

"Is Luke doing alright?"

She sighed again and took a large gulp of her drink before nodding.

"He is, yeah," She assured me. "It's just hard. He misses us, Molly in particular of course, and he's down about all the horrible things he's been seeing. So like, he's fine, but he's not. He's struggling emotionally, I can tell, but he doesn't want to talk about it when I call. And I'm so worried about him. They don't have enough PPE, supplies are dwindling, as if his job just isn't dangerous enough at times like this."

Her words came out in practically all one breath as she toyed with the necklace around her neck, one that Luke had bought her just before we left London. Her grip on the wine glass in her hand had me worried she would snap the stem, but my heart really went out to her.

"He's going to be fine," I assured her, knowing my lack of expertise on the subject would really do little to comfort her. "Luke is responsible and cautious. Even if they don't have enough protective equipment, he won't go running into a situation that isn't safe. He knows what he has to lose if he gets sick, he'll do anything to make sure he gets back to you safely at the end of all this."

"I know, I know," She took another swig from her glass. "But it's not always in his control and I know him well enough to know he wouldn't ignore someone who needed help just because he didn't have the right protection."

"But he'll take whatever precautions he can," I insisted. "He loves you more than he loves the job."

"I know," She repeated with a sigh. "It's just hard being apart for so long. I really miss him."

"I know you do," I smiled sympathetically. "I can't even imagine how hard that must be, but if we all just stay home and away from other people this whole mess can't go on forever."

Cassie shot me a suspicious look with a smirk on her face.

"That's the most positive thing I've heard you say since we got here. Are you feeling okay? Did Dad slip you some good painkillers?"

I tried to swat at her from my side of the couch, but my elevated ankle restricted my movement.

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes. "Being the tortured, mopey one is my thing. I'm just trying to stop you from stealing my aesthetic."

"Your aesthetic?" Cassie raised an eyebrow at my word choice. "You sound like a wannabe teenage Instagram model."

I giggled, realizing it was true.

"What can I say?" I asked in a very bad valley girl american accent. "I like totally have to keep my followers happy or I won't get any likes."

She stared at me blankly for a moment before she burst out laughing.

"That was horrifying," She informed me. "Please, never do that again."

"Oh, you just wait," I teased. "Only a few more years until Molly discovers the world of likes and followers..."

She cringed at the thought.

"A few? I'm hoping for at least ten..."

"Ten?!" I laughed at her optimism. "Maybe five, but I seriously doubt she'll stay off social media until she's seventeen."

"I didn't have Instagram until I was twenty-four."

"Only because it didn't exist," I scoffed. "If it was around when we were teenagers, you would have been all over it."

"But we didn't so I can still hold that over Molly's head when she starts insisting she needs it," She smirked as she reached for the bottle of wine on the table. That was when she noticed that Man of Steel was on the TV. "Oh my god, are you watching his movie?"

I felt my cheeks up as I realized she'd caught me, but I tried to play it cool.

"I've never seen the whole thing," I shrugged. "It was on Netflix so I figured I'd give it a go, it wasn't because he's in it."

"Oh, I see," She nodded as she filled her glass and poured the last splash into mine. "It's just a coincidence that after being carried around in Superman's arms, you're suddenly interested in watching his movie."

Her words were dripping with sarcasm, but I just rolled my eyes.

"He carried me out of necessity," I reminded her. "And I told him he didn't have to."

"How was it out of necessity if he didn't have to?" She smirked. "And then he just had to have your phone number, was that out of necessity too?"

I tossed the last few kernels of my popcorn at her, but she just shielded her face as she laughed.

"Asking for my phone number was clearly out of politeness," I informed her. "Since I haven't heard anything from him."

"Didn't he message you that night after you met?"

I nodded, but felt a familiar disappointment.

"He did," I confirmed. "And we chatted a bit, but I haven't head from him since."

"Well that was only, what? Four days ago?" Cassie pointed out. "That's not long enough to give up hope, he's probably just busy."

I raised an eyebrow at her suggestion.

"Busy doing what? We're in the middle of a pandemic, no one can go anywhere or do anything."

"People still have commitments," She reminded me, frowning at my pessimism. "And mum says he hasn't been home for ages so he's probably got a lot of catching up to do with his family."

"I guess that's true."

"Besides," She started, a smirk replacing her frown. "Why do you even care so much?"

"I don't!" I lied. "It doesn't even matter. Nothing could happen between us anyway with all this going on. He's just nice to look at so it was nice to daydream for a moment."

"Of course something could happen! My friend met a new guy on a dating app since all this started and she seems really happy with him."

"Have they even met yet?"

"No," Cassie admitted sensing my skepticism. "But you have met Henry so you don't have that issue!"

"But we wouldn't be able to get within six feet of each other for potentially a few months," I resisted. "And even when we can get closer to each other, kissing or whatever might not be allowed until there's a vaccine so what’s the point?"

"Ooh, ‘or whatever’," Cassie wiggled her eyebrows, her low alcohol tolerance clearly showing. "But seriously, if things start easing up in a couple months then kissing a man might not be so dangerous."

"I have asthma," I reminded her. "Kissing a man could actually kill me."

She tossed her head back and groaned at my stubbornness.

"Well by the time you're able to, you might not even want to. But you won't know unless you send him a fucking text."

As she was speaking, the door to the back patio flung open and a tiny, but very loud voice filled the room.

"Mummy said a naughty word!"

My niece, Molly, screamed as she flew through the door.

"She did!" I agreed. "That wasn't very polite of her, was it?"

"No!" Molly shook her head, dirt that had been smeared in her hair falling to the floor from the motion. "Naughty words hurt people's feelings!"

"They do! My feelings are very hurt."

Molly frowned at that information as she put her dirty little hands on her hips.

"Mummy, you need to apologize."

Cassie rolled her eyes as she turned to me and I smirked.

"I'm sorry for using a naughty word and hurting your feelings, Brooke," She said reluctantly. "But I stand by what I said. You don't have to wait for him to make the first move."

"The first move?" Molly questioned, her face lighting up. "Are you playing a game? Can I play?"

I laughed at her enthusiasm as her mother and I shook our heads.

"No, sweetie, we're not playing a game," Cassie told her. "And you can't do anything until we get you all cleaned up! Shall we go run you a bath?"

Molly looked disappointed, but nodded her little head.

"I got really dirty helping Nana plant some plants..."

"I can see that," Cassie smiled. "Let's go wash it all off."

I smiled as they left the room, leaving me to my thoughts. I went back and forth on whether I should message Henry and was just about to pull out my phone to maybe write a draft when my parents came through the door Molly had just appeared in. Taking it as a sign to not do what I was about to do, I locked my phone and put it back down.

"Hey, sweetie," My mum smiled at me. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine," I assured her. "And honestly, my ankle's a lot better. I can hobble around enough to look after myself."

"I know, but you don't need to while I'm here," She insisted. "I never get to dote on you girls much anymore, it's been nice having an excuse."

"I know and I appreciate it, but I'm fine."

My mom nodded and kissed my head as she walked past on her way to the stairs that Cassie had just chased Molly up.

"Just shout if you need anything," My dad added as he followed her. "Goodnight, kiddo."

The days were getting longer so I hadn't realized it was almost eight o'clock already. I shouted my goodnights before putting the empty wine glasses in the empty popcorn bowl, scooping up my phone and limping into the kitchen. Once the dishes were tidied away, I went up to my room and quickly changed into some pajamas before getting comfortable on my bed with my foot elevated once again.

I set my laptop up next to me with something mindless playing on Netflix before turning my attention back to my phone. I opened my conversation with Henry, but I was at a loss for words. He was a world famous superstar. He worked with and probably dated some of the most attractive women in the world. Why would he want to hear from me?

I closed the conversation again with a sigh, wishing I had some more wine to relieve some of my inhibitions. I was just about to put my phone away in defeat when a stroke of curiosity hit me and I opened Instagram instead. I liked a few posts that friends had made before tapping on the search bar and tentatively typing Henry's name. A few fan pages popped up, but his account was there with that coveted blue tick. I felt a strange nervous bubbling in my stomach, like I was somehow infringing on his privacy, but it was there for anyone to see so I decided to scroll just a bit.

He didn't post much, but that made sense from what I knew of him. He didn't strike me as the kind of person who wanted everything in his life to be on display plus he was a pretty busy guy with all the movies and shows he'd been in lately. There were a few pictures of Kal, a few pictures of some baking and cooking he'd been doing, a few horses and some lovely selfies. One in particular caught my eye. He was wearing a rugby jersey and his hair was long with a slight curl. His jaw was strong and he looked incredibly handsome.

I clicked on it eagerly, hoping to get a better look, but my heart sank instantly as that little heart popped up. I'd liked it. A picture from six months ago. He would know I was creeping through his photos, it was such a rookie mistake! I cursed myself, quickly closing the app and tossing my phone onto the bed as if it never happened if I couldn't see it. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I suddenly remembered why I always felt like social media was much more suitable for the younger generations.