#anyway...job hunting again
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Holy shit I miss my old manager wtf is wrong with managers at this job
#in 1.5yrs I've worked with 6 different managers/supervisors and he was the only one that wasn't constantly screaming or spamming slack and#publicly shaming everyone as “motivation”. he also wasn't a jackass about scheduling. I hope he's onto better things but fuck I miss him#in fact he's the only reason I stayed this long & tried to get this role back bc I spent most of my time here on his team#anyway...job hunting again
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This is probably because I grew up watching 24/7 animal planet, but what finally made the allo/aplatonic thing click for me were the nature's of big cats.
Lions are powerful, regal creatures who are uniquely adapted to pack life. They need these connections to live a healthy life; A lonely lion is a miserable creature indeed.
Jaguars are solitary, beautiful creatures who live happily solitary. They prowl their lush world with self-sufficient majesty. A jaguar is not lonely without a pack. In fact, forcing jaguars to share space with others they do not enjoy is just as damaging as forcing a lion to live alone.
A lion may choose to head out on it's own for the most part, but in the end must return to the pack to thrive. A jaguar can choose to trust and enjoy the company of others, but they never feel the need to form a pack.
Is a jaguar selfish for this? A psychopath, a narcissist or any other such horrid assumptions? Is it a less moral creature than a lion, who seeks others like it to thrive?
Is a lion pathetic, or needy, or selfish for wanting community? For requiring contact with others like they require water? For their inherent need to string complicated webs of relationships that may seem silly or dramatic to others?
Of course not. These are ridiculous questions to even ask.
They are simply lions and jaguars.
In fact, is a jaguar that chooses to spend time with you not as magical as a lion's love? For a creature that needs no bond to thrive to still enjoy your presence enough to share it a time? Is a lion who can prowl the night alone not impressive in its strength and resilience? Is it not awe-inspiring in its ability to conquer a life it was never wired for and reign still?
Are they not both beautiful and awe-inspiring in their own ways, without being wrong?
Alloplatonics. Aplatonics. Are we not both special and beautiful in both our bonds and self-confident happiness equal, in each our ways? Is there not unique beauty in lifelong bonded packs and magical encounters that need no perpetuity to carry life forward?
Are we not but lions and jaguars? Neither wrong, neither selfish, but just different and beautiful creatures in each our ways?
That's how I've come to see it, anyway.
#lgbt#aspec#lgbtqa+#asexual#aromantic#aroace#loveless#aplatonic#alloplatonic#animals#I woke up at like 3 in themmorning to write this so I apologise for weird wording#I'm not awake enough to go hunting for the videos but if you want to see more about the equal majesty and difference in cats bonding#I suggest looking up Kevin Richardson's work with lions and panthers#I love animals. I hope I didn’t come off as degrading to anyone by using them as comparison#I can assure you the association only carries the deepest respect from me.#anyway all the aro discourse floating about made me think of this issue again#and how explaining allo/a-platonic needs has been a difficult task in the past#you're all valid no matter your labels or shapes or spots or manes#remember that when an orientation you don't understand comes to the lgbtable your job isn't to test them#it's to make room
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Last line challenge
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like.)
Sorry I took my time to answer xo Thanks for tagging me @just-here-with-my-thoughts <3 <3 <3
Actually I can't show much cause all my wips are for fanzines or commissions but!
I can show you a hint of what I'm actually doing for @devinsisland apocalyptic AU zine hehe
Very sketchy 'cause some of theses were just ideas exploration I ended up throwing (they'll be cleaned and posted on social for bonus later probably)
Also follow the zine here: https://www.instagram.com/aftermathzine https://x.com/AFTERMATHzine
(not me changing a tag into a promo post xD)
I don't really know who to tag, always scared of bothering, so I'm gonna try hhhh @lightspringrain (I'm the worst, I'm tagging while you're on break so Hm, no pressure) @wrenkenstein (hello I love your art and your whole vibe apparently we're mutuals so *flies away*) @clownery-and-fuckery @electrikworm
@scarletv0id (Please ignore if you don't wanna) And mutual who see this post but I'm too shy to tag!
#last line challenge#thanks for tagging me again#this forces me to post so this tumblr doesn't die while I'm in 10+ fanzines XO#I wish I had fic illustration to show but alas no time to xo#I need to redo a whole portfolio for job hunting#I'm so bad at it#I should do more social media stuff#have an insta and linkedin#post a lot#do other stuff than fanartsss#are you looking for a storyboard artist? well I exist!#a reason I don't is that I know my former classmates will see me and be like#"haha this b* who was first in class never made it cheh to her#or be glad I failed (I deserved to fail)#*sigh*#on another note#A friend invited me to see her thrilled but I need to travel in a new country and this stresses me very muchhhhh#especially with my disastrous English#I wish I wasn't 90% of my life paralyzed by fear#ok ANYWAY
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That is all thank you
ANSWERED: Art credit for da first Ren meme goes to @meo-eiru!!
BUT HELPPPPP THESE ARE SO FUNNY JDSGJH T_T The Moth meme + Uno meme had me CACKLING lmaoooooooo
#This has been happening a lot recently (and is by no means directed to OP) but!! Just a reminder to credit artists if you use their art!!#And it's always better to ask for permission beforehand; some artists don't like havin their art shared / reposted / reuploaded / etc.#They put in effort to create content for you to consume; so it's only fair to give them da proper credit and exposure in return!!#''Credits to the original creator'' and ''I found the image on google / pinterest / etc.'' isn't a good enough excuse >.<#If you can't find the creator; don't share it. And at the very least try to reverse image search to locate the source#But!!!! With all that being said:#Everyone is welcome to use the official 14DWY sprites/game assets without asking for my permission or giving credit!#I personally think it's ok because game assets can be found /within/ the game itself; it's not like folks have to go on a search hunt--#--to find a specific artist. They can find the art/asset within the game without having to do the extra steps.#If that makes any sense??#Like the 14DWY style is fairly recognisable if you're familiar with the game; folks don't need to reverse image search for anything.#Anyways I'm done ranting in da tags#I might make this an actual post in the future because; again; this has been happening a lot recently in the 14dwy tag/my askbox#and all these talented artists don't deserve this ;n;#Plus it shouldn't be my job to be the one giving credit..... T_T /lh /nm#OKOK I'm done for realsies now#Thank you OP for making these memes!! And sorry for ranting on what's supposed to be a lighthearted post dghjdgjhsg ^^;#💜 — 14dwy memes.#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.
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a woman and her daughter were on my tour who were descendants of one of my favorite guys involved in the boston tea party (partly bc i find him and his catastrophic marriage fascinating and partly bc he's portrayed by a man i consider a good friend) and said she didnt know much more about him than the name
and i got to tell her about his elopement, and who his closest friends were and i wish i'd had more time to talk to her further but i got her the contact info for our research dept
but she got a little emotional when i was talking about him as a young man with friends who went to parties by the river and made his best friend his best man at his wedding, and i got the sense she'd never thought of him like that before
and idk man thats what its all about to me. im sure when she gets in contact with nick, she'll get more substantial biographical stuff, but it felt really nice to turn an old name into a normal 23-year-old for this woman
#messages from the ouija board#sadies day job#i think it also touched her to see that i really cared about her ancestor. bc he is like. NOT a founding father type. most of the guys aren#but im like joe??? my friend joe????? betsey hunt palmer's husband? james condy's best friend???#anyway once again im talking about joseph pearse palmer on my blog#i did not tell her he probably killed himself. she can find that out from nick and kristin in research#also did not tell her theres like a 50/50 chance shes not biologically a descendant depending on which of his daughters she comes from#bc the second one super duper is not biologically his. but she gets written into family trees as such a lot#but like. some guests u dont get the sense want their family's dirty laundry handed to them by a random tour guide
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still thinking about it (announcing to the party i paired with in leveling roulette that i would do my best, but i am new to healing and that was my first time acting as healer in a dungeon, and our tank immediately 1.) running to try and w2w, 2.) not mitigating, and 3.) not even successfully pulling all mobs towards them so me and the other DPS got flanked too, and only after the tank died did they go ‘oh, okay, i’ll go slow for you then’)
#» vin.txt#granted . i did not do 100% that run . i boofed it. as one does when they are Just starting a class for the first time#bc despite me having level 30 in white mage and scholar i did very minimal healing / did not pay attention during the job quests#and Only did duty support / FATEs / hunting log to level up#anyway. we will try again because there is no getting better until i actually suffer Real People —#anyway x2. if anyone has any healer tips -
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you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3
ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere
#life has been so so so hard <3#i've never fully recovered from long covid so an average workday was leaving me absolutely drained#and on top of that i had an incident where i was trying to look into a prior auth for a patient#the kid was trans and cried on the phone because he was afraid his insurance wouldn't cover his testosterone now that trump had won#his doctor was at her wit's end because she had been assured on three separate occasions that the authorization was all set#so since it was literally a dead day at work anyway i spent about half an hour playing phone tag with the insurance#trying to find out what their mcfucking issue was#only to eventually be told they wouldn't speak to a representative from the pharmacy about it and that the prescriber had to make the call#so i did let the prescriber know and found a goodrx coupon that made the price like $20#patient was thrilled and very grateful for the effort#(this was like. the day before christmas and his last chance to get his medicine before he had to travel.)#pharmacist however immediately jumped my shit when i hung up for ''wasting time''#despite the fact that there was??? literally no other work to do???#we had three other techs on and i was keeping up with the data entry as things came in while i was on the phone.#tried to defuse the situation by apologizing but she was literally top-of-her-lungs screaming at me#in front of my coworkers and the like 2 customers nearby. so loud that one person could hear her clearly from the bathroom#had worked with this woman for 5+ years and she was the reason i went to this particular pharmacy in the first place#left and texted my boss what happened and told her that this gets fixed or i'm out. had a meeting with the store manager and everything#told them i would have a conversation with her to see if we could move past this. and she refused to speak to me#so i quit and my bestie quit in solidarity and we have been job hunting except that we both also got sick as FUCK the next day#like vomiting shaking massive headache unable to function sick#his fever was like 104.7 at one point? it was ungood#i'm finally about 85% better and back on the job hunt but like. yeah#thought i had something lined up that would free me from the shackles of customer service but unfortunately the guy changed his mind#and the one pharmacy interview i had they wanted to pay me $10/hr 💀 homie that's a $9/hr pay decrease#so yeah life is a prison etc etc BUT not having a full time job anymore DOES mean#that i have the time and energy to tungl again without all the chronic exhaustion#silver linings!!!
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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
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I can’t sleep because I keep getting myself worked up over all the shitty things in my life and I can’t even talk about it to anyone because I have no one to talk like that with, but man my job is killing me and I’m on the verge of just giving up man
#vent#I’m just so drained I don’t even feel human anymore#I haven’t felt like I’m living this entire year and I think it’s just going downhill now#I’m so upset I’m going to self isolate even more so I don’t feel as upset#I’m job hunting again but man I hope something comes up quick so I can just quit#I just don’t talk to anyone anymore because I feel bad for being a burden lol#and I still won’t talk this is just a vent to get some frustration out#anyways back to normal posting
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i have decided it’s hunt who does the cooking because claire can’t. she just knows how to bake cakes. but also helloooooo? she’s not cooking. any girl born after 1990 can’t cook… all they know is matcha latte , charge they phone, scam men, be bisexual , dissect dry insects & lie
#huntclaire#okay look claire knows how to cook to some degree she just doesn’t do it bc it’s stupid. she’s not cooking. i did my nails like yesterday#i’ve said before you should NOT let claire near fire. this is not true of the oven. this is true of the stove#i just don’t trust her with fire. she looks like those kids who really liked matches and would light them up successively#and then light tiny bits of paper of fire. and then she would watch it and giggle and do it again and again#on*#also i don’t trust claire with knives. do you? i know hunt doesn’t.#ACTYALLY. omg.#okay there’s a funny dialogue i must write. soon. one day#anyway claire’s job is to sit on the stool watch him cook and tell him he’s doing EVERYTHING wrong. and then she swings her legs smiling 😇
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#may or may not be losing my job soon#no idea bc I’m being left in the dark and I am feeling weird#kind of want to freak out - kind of want to yell - kind of want to cry#this current job causes me anxiety and pisses me off anyway#but like I NEED an income so I put up with it#🥹 the thought of job hunting again is making me want to throw up#personal
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Me, with my incredibly patchy memory, when I open my fanfic WIP docs:
#“wow who wrote this dialogue..... she was cooking so hard”#shy talks#not art#seriously. Seriously...... I entertain myself I hate this#anyway I spent hours job hunting/applying today and tried not to feel sad at getting rejection emails! on a monday! when I applied for jobs#on the weekend! instantly tossed in the bin!!!!!!!#and now I'm watching Live Free or Twihard again to feel something
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idea for a game i thought about while on the appalachian trail this year.
ÜPPS: unoye parks preservation society! you're an alien going on a pilgrimage along the great unoye trail, but you get conscripted by a gang of kids trying to preserve conserve the parks along the route. not really sure about the gameplay, but i think something like TOEM and chicory: a colorful tale. meeting and helping people out of jams. healing nature. enjoying nature. that kind of stuff.
#my art#ocs#UPPS#game idea#worldbuilding#sorry i havent posted ive been playing a lot of DWARF FORTRESS AGAIN.#but i think the spell is broken for now; my fortress just had an outbreak of werelizards and every single person but one hunter was killed.#she was doing the jobs of about ten different dwarves to keep one infected dying dwarf in the hospital alive#and i finally stranded her on the other side of the river while she was hunting and abandoned the fortress to ruin#because i couldnt bear to see her killed by the infection too.#i started a new fortress on the same world i wish i could find her and make her come to my new fortress#thinking of you loram idromast.#ANYWAY I HOPE YOU LIKE MY GAME IDEA
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Spending almost $500 just to take a test that I'm soooo stressed about failing to study for (due to both time constraints and stress breakdowns and desperately wanting a new job)
#in theory *passing* the test will finish my certification which *might* really help with my job hunt#but also soooo stressed that i'm going to struggle to job hunt because of the studying. but i'm struggling to job hunt anyway so.#and if i fail this test then i get to pay $500 again 🙃🙃🙃 yay#work#ladyluscinia
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I will always be vocal about how much dr stone sucks and how stupid it is but to be quite honest it consumes 80% of my waking thoughts and yes i also downloaded the chinese kemonomimi doujin so i could pretend to read it in my spare time
#Listen to my problems#i was thinking again about how well picked the animals are for them like i really couldnt have done a better job#i always have something to say but this cowed me ....... a lion and a deer ... almost beastars but not .... amazing#no one will ever do it like him again. and not a red deer a white tailed deer like what other creature can present itself#with both majesty and cuteness .... the little bobbing tail ....enough to drive anybody crazy. even his allies want desperately to protect#him... and the one hunting him literally fell in love with him at first sight and licked him all over before letting him go#to be honest you look very delicious but unfortunately im not hungry ...#honestly the smell of blood is hard to ignore so can you tend to that wound first ...#and he sits quietly with him to listen to him because hes so well behaved ... you can be tamed with a fearlessly outstretched hand#the fiercest beast .... hyunjae was right when he said who would turn down that kind of affection#and the view of senku from the bottom up that tail again front and centre... slightly raised so you can see the softest whitest fur under...#but also the cut on his leg that he sustained from wandering the woods with such a tiny skirt. utterly obscene#i understand this is a dj about them eventually having lots of cross species babies but holy fuckkkkk never in history has there been two#characters who are such a perfect match for each other they can do it all#i think senku should get tsukasa pregnant actually. YOU will breastfeed. uhn... leave it to me#anyway since nobody wanted to hear it from me i'll say it here but white tailed deers literally get chased as foreplay because the female#only mates when shes ready so she just evades the male until its time but also it would be funny if senku just isnt fast enough to escape#and he gets mounted right away and tsukasa doesnt let him go until the 24 hour lion mating period is over#every fifteen minutes to half an hour he will get a load up his rear and by the end of it he will look like (pile of shredded lettuce)
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How do people date while also having a job? I feel like I need to be unemployed to devote enough time to this. I’m becoming a “married to my work” person against my will.. i just don’t have the energy to fall in love T^T
#cyn talking#i’m planning on giving myself a little time before serious job hunting again after I move back home anyway#maybe that can be my time for romance!
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