#anyway. we (cringefail swag) are so back

[anneonomus]

i’m joining the war on fanon. on the side of the fanon

[the-puppet-bracket]

Spamton propaganda:

"You know someone had to do it.

This guy's whole thing is not wanting to be a puppet anymore, but uh-oh-spaghetti-o! Dude now has physical puppet strings!"

"Making a [SPECIL] deal by placing his [#1 SALE SYSTEM] into a [CLASSIC!] body, Spamton believed he could be more than [HYPERLINK BLOCKED]. But the strings told him otherwise. He lunged at Kris in [LIMITED TIME OFFER], trying with all his [50% OFF!] to be more than a puppet."

"Spam email bot who was exposed to something that drove him mad and he spent the whole rest of his existence trying to cut his strings, only to die (maybe?) when he finally manages it."

"He is the most tortured dumpster man alive. Also, not literally a puppet, but metaphorically!!! There's some mysterious outside force controlling him and limiting what he can say and god, he desperately wants to break free, trying to kill the protagonist (his only friend in years) for the chance of ""being let loose from his strings"". In his secret boss battle, he thinks he'll be free after getting a new body but he isn't, as his new powerful body has literal strings attached. You fight him, because he thinks your soul (long story) will gain him access to freedom. During the pacifist route of the battle, you cut his strings until there's one more left, he's ecstatic, being able to break free from the narrative of the confines of the game. He decides to break his own last string, and he falls to the ground into pieces. It turns out he relied on the strings after so long, and couldn't recover without them. Afterwards, he's deshevaled, hung up by vines in the dark basement that resemble his old strings and he says ""It seems after all I couldn't be anything more than a simple puppet."" This ties back to how Kris, the protagonist of the game is feeling the effects of being controlled by the player and really shows the core focus of the game and it's characters. And that's why I entered him into this poll!

Also he is genuinely so fucking hilarious bro just play Deltarune already what the fuck are you doing the chapters that are out rn are free dawg (play Undertale first though, it's like ten bucks or something you'll be fine)"

"Spamton best blorbo. Very good blorbo. Exquisite blorbo even. He's sad and adhd and insane and weird and I love him and you should too. Pipis"

"he spamt"

"[[NUMBER ONE RATED SALESMAN 1997]]"

"he's living in a goddamn garbage can. let the big shot win. it'll be funny. does he deserve it? that is up to viewer discretion. but he is our beloved tumblr sillyman and as such we need to pay him respect in some manner. <3

(iirc spamton is a puppet? probably. oh well if he doesn't count ignore this i'm not read up on

my deltarune)"

"frankly i'd be surprised if he's not one of the most submitted. anyway his whole Deal is about being a puppet and having other things control him and so he seeks to regain that control through either manipulating the player into murdering half the city or to take the red soul and use it to become a god. yet in his super powerful NEO form he still has strings attached to him (that he won't even notice if he succeeded in the player manipulation thing) and in either case he ultimately becomes an item you use just for stats. guy really isn't a fan of puppetteers"

"you propably knew this was coming lol

Tumblr's favorite awful little puppet desperately fighting to get rid of his strings

the pinocchio references are strong in this one

HA HA HA ... THIS POWER IS

FREEDOM.

I WON'T HAVE TO BE JUST A PUPPET ANY MORE!!!!

...

OR... so... I... thought.

WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? It's still DARK... SO DARK!"

"Tries to become a real boy, ends up as another puppet look guy. He's shady, he's a scammer, he's got cringefail swag and I love him"

"He's just a little fucked-up little guy"

[cantfuckbracket]

Can't Fuck Bracket - Group Stage. Group 8: The Mysterious Benedict Society (TV) Characters

LD Curtain versus Jeffers versus Dr Garrison

[ID: The unfuckable pride flag overlaid with the "no bitches" meme. Over it are pictures of the contestants. They are all tanned white people. Curtain has hair slicked to the side and is shown pursing his lips and throwing his hands back; Jeffers has a moustache and is grimacing; and Dr Garrison looks like she's about to sneeze. Over them are sparkles and a heart with a butt, and in between them are peach emojis crossed out with the word "vs" in them. End ID]

Propaganda:

LD Curtain: "He's both a cringefail loser (See: 1. repeatedly beaten by a group of literal children, at one point even saying "they have proven to be my only worthy adversaries" (<- man talking about a group of eleven year olds), 2. screaming at a child, while visibly tearing up, "I AM NOT SAD! I AM *FINE!*", 3. genuinely thinking he can simply say no to having narcolepsy, 4. keeps little painted figurines of his brother and co and does magic tricks with them to intimidate an eleven year old, sincerely thinks this is an extremely cool thing to do), a bad dad (terrible both in the sense that he's emotionally abusive and in the sense that he thinks he's doing suuuuuuuch a good job and he very much isn't), and just like. evil?? but not in the sexy way. and also he's in denial about it which makes it even LESS sexy. Negative sexy if you will. "I'm not bad. who thinks that" sir you are standing in your mind control machine. "Sticky! Friend! Evil is a bit harsh!" sir you psychologically tortured him. anyway he does stupid little magic tricks and is a complete failure but somehow manages to convince everyone that he's charming and actually very cool. while obviously like, starting a cult or being just visibly a cringefail maniac two seconds from flying off the handle. anywya this got out of hand the point is: UNFUCKABLE."

Jeffers: "he's just. a sad little man. the biggest loser i've ever seen. [shrek voice] he can't even secure a perimeter! no but seriously the way he just like. fails at literally everything he does? he even annoys CURTAIN with his incompetence/general loseritude. if he tried to have sex i think somehow the bed would end up on fire and he'd have to leave literally with his head hanging. somehow his dick would just fall off and bounce on the floor like a sad little worm on a string. i'm so sorry for giving you that mental image and if you want to kill me for it i understand"

Dr Garrison: "Dr. Garrison is *the* representation for unfuckable insane women in STEM we’ve all been waiting for. She spends the entirety of the show conducting unethical experiments. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure if she’s ever heard of the concept of “relaxing” or “having fun.” She has the energy of “someone who should’ve had a girlboss villain arc and had a midlife crisis instead.” Actually, that is literally what happens. She was fired and framed by her boss and she *should’ve* had her hot girl divorcee revenge arc; instead, she’s hiding out in a root cellar paying off a gang of teenage lesbians to kidnap a 7 year old that she needs for further unethical experiments. The last time we see her on screen, she’s sobbing collapsed on a table as the 7-year old her lesbians kidnapped administers what I like to call “malicious therapy.” It is important to note that she is wearing what appears to be a potato sack throughout this entire encounter.

Basically, her cringe fail swag combined with her “never heard of the concept of fun” energy as well as her impending midlife crisis combine to create an incredible aura of unfuckability. (However, I am a fool. I could fix her <3)"