#anyway. this is a note to future izzy to try thinking about this again when we’re not a husk.

[ghostzzy]

i’ve been attempting to synthesize my thoughts and concerns about going on testosterone for about half an hour now and i’m making very little progress.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Time of Death

Dr. Derek Shepherd x Reader

Words: 1966

Summary: Receiving the news after coming out of a long surgery, Derek rushes to comfort his fiancé whose sister committed suicide.

Notes: I hope to write some fluffier McDreamy imagines and more for Grey’s Anatomy, but when I got this idea, I had to go with it. This is a very very dark story, so it will not be for everyone, but I really had an interesting time writing it. As always, I’d love to know your thoughts and if you guys are excited for more Grey’s Anatomy imagines. 

Warnings: Suicide, grief, guilt (This starts out fast so I’m putting the break at the beginning so if you don’t want to read, you don’t have to.)

-

You couldn’t hear them say it but you still heard it in your head. Time of death… You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at the clock. Time had stopped. Everything had stopped. As you looked down from the gallery, nobody in the O.R. seemed to be moving an inch. Until Dr. Bailey looked up at you. As soon as your eyes connected, everything started again but it started too fast. Your heart was beating too fast, your legs were moving too fast, the tears were coming too fast. 

Your sister was dead. She threw herself in front of oncoming traffic. Her body was so broken that even Bailey couldn’t put it back together. Your baby sister killed herself. 

Nurses and doctors alike watched you sprint by.  Fellow residents, interns, attendants, all of them watched you run like maniac through the halls of the surgical wing. Of course, you were careful not to be in anyone’s way, but you had to disappear. 

“What’s with Mrs. McDreamy?” Cristina asked George and Meridith quietly. 

“Her sister just died on the table.” Izzy sighed, having been with you in the gallery. She looked at the floor. “Jumped in front of a car.” The other interns’ eyes widened. 

“She killed herself?” Meredith whispered, her gaze following your running form down the hall. “Has anybody told…”

“He’s been in surgery for hours.” Cristina shook her head. “I doubt he even knows she was admitted.” 

“Should someone page him? Should someone go get Y/N?” George wondered but nobody moved. They all just looked at each other. Cristina crossed her arms. 

“I’ll go. Somebody has to go tell Dr. Shepherd that his future sister in law turned herself into roadkill.” 

“No.” Meredith blurted. Cristina’s bluntness was the last thing anyone needed right now. “I’ll tell him.” Meredith and Derek were at least friends. He needed to hear this from a friend. 

-

Derek smiled as the water ran over his hands. After several long hours, the surgery was a success. The 18-year-old girl was going to be okay. Thanks to him. Another life saved. His smile grew when Meredith stepped into the room. 

“Dr. Grey, you missed a pretty amazing surgery.” He beamed. Something about her face was off. 

“I’m sure you did very well Dr. Shepherd.” She wasn’t looking at him. 

“Meredith what is it?” He dried his hands quickly and followed her out into the hall. Her expression made that cocky smile of his fall. “Meredith?”

“A Cierra Y/L/N was admitted about when you started your surgery.”

“Y/N’s sister?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “It seems that she ran in front of a semi truck. Dr. Bailey did everything she could but… she’s dead, Derek.” 

“Cierra… killed herself?” Derek ran a hand down his face. “Does anyone know why? Are they sure that’s what happened? Does Y/N know?”

“We all saw her run down the hallway, so I’d say she knows.” 

“Do you know where she went?” He exclaimed, raising his voice. He didn’t have time for the doe-eyed confusion. He needed to know where you were. Meredith just shook her head. He calmed down enough so he wouldn’t yell. “Thank you for getting me.”

He took off, scanning the hall for any sign of his fiance. As he hurried past doctors and patients, he thought of Cierra. He’d never even met her. Sure, you had mentioned that you had a younger sister, but you didn’t say much other than that. But suicide? It was how you lost your mom when you were in medical school. This was going to hit hard and he needed to make sure there would be pieces of you left. 

“Dr. Shepherd!” A voice called out behind him. He reluctantly stopped his pursuit to turn to Dr. Bailey. She gave him a sad, grim look. “We did everything we could, but the extent of her injuries… I’m sorry there wasn’t more I could do.” 

“Have you seen Y/N?” 

“Since she couldn’t operate with us, she stayed and watched from the gallery.” She sighed. She paused for a second before putting a hand on his shoulder. “I think I know where she might have gone.” 

Bailey had found you there once before. You’d lost a patient and needed a quiet place to be alone. If there was ever a time you needed a quiet place to go, it’d be now. She brought Derek to a closet on the fourth floor. It was mostly filled with extra linens and paper and such so it wasn’t used often. Bailey knocked on the door, but received no response. Slowly, she opened the door. 

“Dr. Shepherd?” She called out into the dark storage room. With still no response, she let Derek pass her. 

“Y/N? Honey, I know you’re in here.” His eyes adjusted and he could see a form standing behind one of the shelves in the corner. He exchanged a look with Bailey. She nodded in understanding. 

“I’ll go tell the chief. You’ll probably want to be heading home.” As she turned to leave, Derek put a hand on her shoulder. 

“Thank you, Miranda.” 

The chief resident quietly closed the door behind her and Derek walked further into the closet. The closet may have been small, but you felt far away. Hearing the sound of him approaching, you turned your head. 

“Cierra is… she’s- they said that she-” Every time you tried to finish the sentence, your mouth stopped. Like your body was trying to deny what your mind clearly knew. Derek tentatively put his hands on your shoulders. When did he get in front of you? 

“I know.” 

He pulled you to his chest and you tried not to push away. You wanted to. You wanted to run again. But his arms wouldn’t let you. He kept you from drifting away. 

-

Chief Webber had all of your surgeries for the next few days rescheduled or taken over by Dr. Bailey. Derek rescheduled the ones that he could, but some of his surgeries were on a time crunch. After he drove you home, he was paged back to the hospital for an emergency. He told you what it was, but you couldn’t remember. 

You didn’t even remember the drive home. You remembered the bloody surgical tools and the machines and the clock, but it didn’t have any numbers on it. You remembered running in the halls and Derek finding you in the closet. Now you were home. Now you were alone. Alone with the knowledge that you killed your little sister. 

Your brain started a single train of thought. You moved slowly, every motion draining more and more energy out of you, but you still made your way to your closet and found your suitcase. You couldn’t put this much pain, this much baggage on someone with a heart like his. To you, this was mercy. 

-

When Derek finally returned home, not a single light in the house was on. His shoulders were weighed down as he tossed his keys on the counter. The surgery was a success, but he didn’t feel that usual rush of adrenaline that came from saving a life. He just wanted to get back to you. 

He was about to call out for you when he saw something catch the light. Sitting on the kitchen table was your engagement ring. 

“Y/N!” He called out, tucking the band into his pocket and ascending the stairs two at a time. He burst into the bedroom and found your suitcase sitting on the bed, clothes hurriedly piled inside. “Y/N!” 

Light pooled into the room from underneath the bathroom door and was sure he could hear something inside. Derek knocked lightly before slowly cracking the door open. 

“Y/N?” His voice was quieter now but still held the same amount of urgency. You just whimpered in response. He opened the door fully, finding you sitting on the bathroom floor having thrown up any meals you had that day. 

“It’s my fault, Derek.” You cried, your voice so low he could barely hear you. “Cierra killed herself because of me. I can’t force you to live with that too.” You pulled your knees up to your chest. 

“Honey…” Derek sat beside you, putting on a hand on your cheek to make you look at him. “Cierra was sick. She’d been sick for a really long time.”

“She was sick because I left her.” You spat, jerking away. “I abandoned her when I moved here for my residency. I knew what she was going through, stuck living with my dad, and I went off to medical school anyway.”

“Deciding to make a life for yourself and to help save lives was not abandoning her.” He took your hand in his and this time, you didn’t pull away. “Y/N, you called Cierra every chance that you got. As far as you knew, she was getting help in San Diego. She told you she was getting better. You couldn’t have known how bad it had gotten.” 

“Then why did she come here, Derek?” You felt that sick feeling in your stomach turning and twisting again. “Why drive up to Seattle and jump into oncoming traffic close enough to be taken to Seattle Grace unless she blamed me?” 

Derek was quiet for a moment. Your body was still shaking from both sobs and from getting sick and you looked desperate for answers that he couldn’t give. 

“Maybe she wanted to see you one last time. This was her way of doing that.” 

It may not have been the answer you wanted to hear, but it was enough to get you to calm down. Derek shifted so that you were sitting in front of him, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your arms from behind. He gently kissed the top of your head and pulled your ring out of his pocket. 

“As for this…” He held the band out in front of you. You just stared at it, laying your head back against his shoulder. 

“I was leaving.” You were half packed before your body ached so much it made you sick. 

“I noticed that.” Derek blew out a long breath. “You said you ‘couldn’t force me to live with that’. Is that how you think? That leaving will spare me of your faults?” 

“I didn’t think that you…” You sighed, trying to collect your reasoning into words. You spun around so you were facing him, holding his hands in your lap. “Derek, you love saving lives. You walk into life ready to save someone else’s. I couldn’t make you look at me everyday knowing that I was responsible for Cierra’s death.” 

Derek lifted your hands up to his chest and laid them flat over his heart. 

“This day- this tragedy- does not define who you are. You are still the beautiful, talented, brilliant surgeon that I fell in love with. The one I asked to marry me. You will still be that woman tomorrow and the next day and the one after that. And if you ever need reminding I will ask you to marry me every single day until we walk down that aisle together because I’m not backing out. Better or worse.” His gaze searched yours for a reaction. “Okay?” 

All you could do was nod and lean back into his embrace. You stayed there on the bathroom floor, his legs on either side of you and your head tilted back against his chest. While Derek’s words didn’t erase everything from that day, they helped to take even just a little of the weight off of your heart. It was enough, at least for now and so you slipped your ring back onto your finger and fell asleep in his arms.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[julessworldd]

Cheerleader and the future rockstar

Warnings: cussing, there’s a jock being an ass talking about the Oc in a gross, sexual way. arguing a little.

A/N: I don’t know much about Izzy’s family life, like his mom and brothers name. I think the one I had is right for his younger brother. And what year he finished high school, bare with me. Oc’s home life is sorta sucky even though she’s the rich cheerleader. she’s not snobby at all like the sterotype everyone has about cheerleaders. I will make a part 2!

@slashscowboyboots​ @roger-taylors-car​ @reigns420​ @awildkaitlynhasappeared​ @ginny-rose-sixx​ @izzysguitar​ since you liked the post last night about the upcoming fic :)

High school Au of Izzy.. Izzy falls for the cheer captain after, she offers her help on an essay in English. Here's the thing the cheerleader has loved Izzy since he grabbed her from falling down the stairs, sophomore year. 

Many know Jeff Isbelle or now Izzy for lots of things. He was the cool, stoner, who was planning on being a rockstar with his buddy, Bill Bailey. To some teachers he was hell on wheels, "The badboy" even though he barely talked. Jocks: Izzy was a creep, just another shadow, stupid stoner who needs to have better life plans. To Judith Channing Izzy was: her crush of two years, wanted to spark a conversation, but her red and black cheer uniform stopped her. Izzy hated the cheer squad because their "Loyalty" to the jocks, they were too happy for his liking at 10 am. Judith remembers when Tommy Lockeler tried to push her down the 3rd floor stairway after, she told him she thought he was nothing but a whore and didn't want to go on a date.  Felt like it was yesterday.. 

I stared at Tommy as he was putting his claim about him being a manwhore. His face got redder and redder by the minute.. 

"Keith told me you had such a tight pussy, Channing. Wanna let me test his theory out? Probably won't you're just a bitch", Tommy spat back.

"Fuck you, Tommy. You just proved my point right there! God, you're so stup-", I felt the air out of my chest leave as I tumbled backwards into someone's arms.  "Whatever", I heard Tommy stomp away. "Hey, hey. You okay?", I heard a soft but gravely voice ask. I opened my eyes to see a tallish boy with medium brown hair, hazel eyes holding me, face with concern. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for not letting me bust my head open, uh?", I said, holding my hands flat on his chest, one hand clutching his Rolling Stones' shirt. "Jeff, but I go by Izzy. Aren't you that Channing girl?", Izzy said, pulling me up, pushing a hair out of my face. "Yeah, I'm Judith. Nice to know my hero's name, Izzy", I blushed.  Izzy grinned, "What made Tommy try to commit murder after lunch anyways?" I smoothed out my uniform skirt, "Just the guy I lost my-", I realized what I was about to say to the new guy. "My hat, this summer. Tommy wanted to- '', I said, but Izzy nodded and seemed to understand what my 'hat' actually was. 

"Well, Keith needed to keep his mouth shut. Tommy is just an asshole, he's a jock they're all the same'', Izzy grumpled. "Yeah, you're right", I said. "Judith! We're gonna be late to practice, come on!", Erin yelled down the hall. "Thanks again, I appreciate it a lot. See ya around, Izzy", I smiled. "No problem. Have a good practice, Jude", Izzy said, reaching into his jacket pocket for his Malobros.  I watched Izzy smirk and skip down each stair, his cute ass bouncing as he went down. "Judith!", Erin yelled again, taking me away from my hero. 

Crazy how that's been two years ago, Izzy doesn't recognize me or chose to at least. After that day, I had a big secret crush on the Johnny Thunders of Lafayette. No guy gets me like Izzy does, Izzy barely knows me but he has such a big affect on me.  I walked into Mr. Allan's senior english class, there was a seat by the window, behind this dark headed boy. I sat down behind him, judging if I liked this seat. It was close enough to board, not in the very very front, nice view outside. "Oh Mike?", the kid turned around. "Oh, you're not Mike. Hi", I looked up and it was Jeff Isbelle. "No, sorry. Is this seat taken?", I asked as my heartrate rose. "No, he came in for a minute, guess he left before I noticed", Izzy said. "Okay class, let's get started!", Mr. Allan clasped his hands together. Allan was going over what we would be doing in the class before we graduated in June. Same bullshit honestly. Read Shakeperse, write essays, read other dead guys' writings. 

Two weeks later, Izzy was still seated in front of me. Making 3rd period class time hell, if you call getting to see his beautiful self plop down everyday. "Alright guys, we finished McBeth and now I'm wanting you to write about how you took the play. I'm asking if you liked the ending, if not write how you would have ended instead. You can use the books, notes we took, even chapter tests I gave back. Due in two weeks", Mr. Allan stated before sitting back at his desk.  It was getting close to 4th period, meaning I could leave for the day, no cheer practice today too. 

"Hey Judith?", Izzy asked. "Yeah, what's up?", I asked from writing my draft. "Did you keep anything from this unit? I lost my binder", Izzy asked. "Yeah, what do you want?", I smiled. "Notes, I guess. I'm not sure how I wanna write this shitty essay", Izzy grinned. Damn what a beautiful smile. I handed him every note I took on the play, side notes, everything.  "Pretty smart for a cheerleader", Izzy said, grabbing my notes. "I liked the play really well, okay?", I fought back.  "If you say so, Judith", Izzy turned back around. 

I walked in the empty room, well thought it was empty. Izzy was sitting in a desk next to Mr.Allan's desk, "Oh sorry, sir", I started to turn around. "It's okay, Judith. Actually, I need you for something", Mr. Allan smiled. I stood next to Izzy. "With what?", I asked. "Mr. Isbelle said you gave him his notes, the first day I assigned this essay. I'm just wanting to make sure he's not lying is all", Mr. Allan said. "Jeff is telling you the truth, sir. He asked if I still had anything about the play and wanted my notes for a starting point, I guess. You said we could use anything we did for the play", I said, starting to get offended he would assume Izzy stole my notes and wanted to cheat. 

"Okay, Judith. Well, since you're here go sit down.", Mr. Allan breathed out, probably embarrassed and a 17 year old girl started him out. The ball rang making Mr.Allan go out for hall duty and talk to other teachers. 

"Hey", Izzy said, standing in front of me. "Hi, Jeff", I smiled. "Thanks for backing me up with dickhead. If I tell you this, will you promise me you won't go to practice and gossip about me?", Izzy said clenching his jaw, he looked really hot. "Of course, Jeff. What's up?", I asked, rubbing my thumb over my other hand. "Your notes helped some, but I'm still stuck. Maybe, it's writer's block I need you to help me crap out this dumb essay. Please?", Izzy said. "Yeah, no problem, Jeffrey. I have cheer until 4:45, but I can meet you somewhere after.", I smiled. Izzy stared at me for a second, "Sure, that's cool. I can give you my address, mom's working late." 

I pulled up to Izzy's place, couple cars were parked outside. I decided to stay on the side of his street and yard, leaving a place for his mother. Izzy stepped out for a smoke as I got out, pulling my brother's t-shirt down. "Boyfriend's shirt?", Izzy blew out smoke from his lips. "No, brother's actually", I said, slinging my bag on my shoulder more. "Oh. Didn't know you had siblings, you gave me the spoiled only kid vibe", Izzy deadpanned. "No, three older brothers and two younger sisters.", I said, feeling small and embarrassed by Izzy. "My brother is here, just ignore him the best you can. He brought home some hamburgers, if you're hungry.", Izzy said, holding the door open. It was an average, but comfortable home. Pictures of Izzy and his brothers, with their mother lined the walls and a few tables. Tv by the wall, couple couches, chairs. Something wet touch my shein, "Sadie! Down. I'm sorry I thought Kevin set her out.", Izzy started to pull Sadie away by her collar. "She's okay. I have two dogs myself, I'm in her house, she's just checking me out. Yeah, you're a pretty girl", I said, bending down to pet her. "What kind of dogs?", Izzy said, sitting on a chair next to Sadie. "German shepherd, named Phoenix, Golden Retriever, Jagger. Jagger is new she's my baby like Phoenix", I said giggling as Sadie licked my hand. "Cool", Izzy mumbled. "Do you wanna start your essay or let me see what you have? Might not have to even start over", I got up and stood by his chair. "Damn, you're really about that essay", Izzy got up, going where I amused his room. 

 "Boys, I'm home!", A woman's voice entered the room. "Oh hi, dear. I didn't know Jeff had a girl over.", She smiled. "Yeah, I'm helping him on an english essay. I'm Judith Channing", I got up and grinned. "Channing? Channing? Is your father's name Frank?", She asked. "Yes, that's him", I said. "I went to high school with him, how is he?" "That's nice, uh he's good. Still in Chicago", I said. "Chicago?" "Yeah, business trip", I said, hoping Izzy would dash in or holler for me to come to see his room. "Does Jeff know you're here?", She asked with a worried look. "Yeah, we met outside. He went to his room for his english stuff, guess he fell to China '', I giggled. "Tell me about it, damn boy takes forever. Jeff! Did you forget about Judith? Jeffery Dean!", His mother yelled. 

"Mom, hey. Though I told you to come with me, Judith?", Izzy said standing beside me. "How was work, Momma?", Izzy hugged her. "Hi, I'm Kevin and you are?", Kevin, Izzy's younger brother checked me out. "Kev, let her alone she's with me", Izzy said, standing beside me protectively. "You're way way out of my brother's leguage. Hey Mom", Kevin said. "Come on. Holler if you need anything", Izzy grabbed my hand, pulling me with him. He grabbed my bag on the way. "Crack your door, Jeff. I mean it!", his mother yelled.  Izzy's room was nice, typical posters, navy blue bed set, desk with papers and pens, small nightstand with a picture of his family, set of records by his recorder player. I slid my shoes off by his desk and sat on the chair. Izzy flopped on his bed, unamused. 

"So what did you think about McBeth?", I asked. Izzy shrugged. "Izzy, your perspective is gonna help write this essay. Tell me", I scoffed. "Just a crazy dude that got killed for letting his power go to his side over what a couple hags had to say. I liked when he got ambushed by the people", Izzy sighed, rubbing his hair around.  "Okay, see that helps. So,you liked the ending and we can stretch your thought out into five paragraphs", I said, looking for a pencil.  "Listen, Judith I'm not in the mood for a stupid play from a dead guy from 400 years ago. Mr.Allan can go fuck himself", Izzy scoffed out. "If you didn't want me over why did you ask for my help. I do have other shit to do, Izzy", I pinched the bridge of my nose. This fucker made me drive half way cross town for this essay. "Then why did accept to come over and help?", Izzy spat back. "I don't know? Probably because I always help people who need help. It's what nice people do anyways", I rolled my eyes.

“Why did I have to ask a smart cheer captain for help?”, Izzy groaned.

“Sorry to break your little stereotype of cheerleaders being dumb and only want to fuck. You know what, Iz? I’m leaving, who cares if you finish the damn essay. Not like you care if you fail or pass, L.A won’t care either way”, I stood by his bed at his nightstand. Izzy stared up at me with confusion. “How do you know wanna go to L.A? I’ve never had a conversation with you before english”, Izzy raised up. “Bill told me you were thinking about if after graduation, he asked my help for math. We have talked before, Izzy. Sophomore year, you caught me from falling to my death after Tommy Lockeler, pushed me down the stairs. You had a Rolling stones shirt on, your hair a little shorter, guess I landed in your arms on a good day.”, I said, with tears in my eyes. “That’s you? No wonder you look familiar besides being a cheerleader. I’m sorry for being a dick, you did come out of your way for me.”, Izzy stood up from his bed. “It’s fine, Izzy. Why don’t you just bullshit it? I’m not feeling too great”, I sighed, walking to his desk for my bag. “Wait. Please don’t leave, I really need your help. I really liked the book and I’m sorta stuck.”, Izzy grabbed my wrist. 

“Okay. If I see you slacking I’m out, Isbelle”, I said. “Sit”, Izzy said, pushing his office chair to me. “Thanks”, I smiled. Izzy pushed a hair out of my face, “Sorry, it was bothering me”  I blushed, before looking away from him. Izzy chuckled, “Something you hiding from me, Judith?” “Tell you what, if you finish the essay, I’ll tell you what I’m hiding, deal?”, I bit my lip. “Deal”, Izzy smirked. Izzy’s brain was flowing and his hand was scribbling on the paper like he didn’t need me over. “Anndd done”, Izzy said, throwing his pencil in the cup he had on his desk. “Let me read it first”, I grabbed the two pages. “You lied”, Izzy whined. I scanned his paper looking for details of the play, if he had the right grammar, punctuation. “Looks good, Izzy. I’m proud”, I laid the paper down. “Thanks, now tell me why you were blushing?”, Izzy laid his hand on my jean clad thigh. “Do I have to?”, I whined. “I did my part, so it’s your turn, Channing”, Izzy said, not breaking his poker face. “Okay, don’t get mad. I have had a crush on since you caught me that day, at times I’m happy Tommy attempted to murder me that day. You happy?”, I stood from his chair and paced besides his bed. “Judith”, Izzy said.

“Hey, Judith, calm down. I have to tell you something too”, Izzy said, grabbing my hand. “What?”, I asked, scared to death he was gonna kick me out. “I like-”, “Hey dinner is ready”, Kevin opened his door, looking down at our hands. “I better get home, mom’s probably worried.”, I lied, she didn’t give a damn about me and my whereabouts. “Okay, I’ll walk you out”, Izzy said. We reached my car, “Well,thanks for the help. Guess I needed to be forced to write”, Izzy said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “No problem, I liked hanging out with you”, I smiled. Izzy nodded, “Be safe” “Sure thing. Night Izzy”, I said, unlocking my car door. Izzy stood until I turned at the stop sign from his house. I tried to skip school, to avoid the awkwardness between me and Izzy. He got really quiet after his brother barged in yesterday, at least he was nice enough to walk me to the car and waited for me to get on the main road again. 

I was headed to lunch but was really wanting to sneak out to my car and drive around for a while. Looking through the glass doors that lead to the front parking lot, I could hear my car whine for me to leave. “Fuck it”, I thought grasping the door and pushed it open. “Where do you think you’re going, missy?”, A deep male voice startled me. I turned around to see Izzy grinning. “Oh it’s just you. Come on, let’s ditch”, I smirked. Izzy nodded and opened the door. We ran down the stairs, to my car, laughing. “Why did you wanna skip? You have a good attendance record?”, Izzy asked, plopping into the passenger seat. “Just ready to leave, school was boring. I don’t have cheer practice today. You?”, I asked, starting the car. ‘Shattered’ The Rolling Stones played quietly. “Same reason as you, just fuck it. Didn’t take you as a Stones fan?”, Izzy smirked as I pulled out of the school parking lot and headed towards town. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me Izzy. My dog is named after Mick Jagger, remember?”, I smirked. Izzy nodded his head to the beat of the song, going through my cassette tape collection. 

We got out of my car and went to a pair of swings, Izzy groaned. “What’s the matter, afraid one of the stoners will catch you with the cheerleader?”, I smirked. “No, princess. Just haven’t swung since I was 9”, Izzy grumbled. “Suit yourself, Jeff”, I pushed my legs to swing. “You like cheerleading?”, Izzy asked. “It’s alright”, I said. Izzy lit a cigarette and watched me swing my legs back and forth. Izzy caught me as I slowed down, holding the chain, pulling me close to him. I looked in his hazel eyes, cigarette creeped on his breath. “After, I killed Kevin for bargin in on us last night. I got to thinking, we’re getting closer to graduation. I’m bailing this hoosier state, you’re probably going on to join a sorority at Purdue. I wanna tell you something”, Izzy said, breath fanning my neck. “What is it?”, I whispered. “I like you and wanna know if you’ll be my girl?”, Izzy nipped my bottom earlobe.  I pulled him into a kiss, holding his shoulders, “Thought you would never ask, Jeff” Izzy smiled down at me. “And I’m not going to college, Iz. I don’t have to pay to have friends, just so you know. Thinking about going to New York actually”, I whispered. “Wanna join me out west? Don’t go to New York, just cold as Indiana, baby”, Izzy held my waist. “I can do that”, I grinned, kissing his cheek. 

[hippogriffs-and-alicorns]

Disclaimer how ever! I haven't finished the movie (kid I'm babysitting wants to finish it with me) so a quick recap will be needed -HB

IFJSOIJOFD Like.....I don't entirely wish to spoil it for u if u haven't finished it but, if u want a recap here u go! It won't be quick tho....there's too much to skip lol. The three pony races are separate again, Twilight and her friends assumingly passed away along time ago, and as things typically go, thoughts and beliefs changed, and they split up. Each race filled the new generations with propaganda about the others, Earth ponies saying Pegasi would snatch you from the air, Unicorns would fry your brains. Unicorns (and pegasi apparently) said Earth Ponies were dumb and smelled terrible, as well as the Unicorns calling pegasi brutes. Sunny's dad was big into history, raised her on the concept of the three pony races being unified. He studied Twilight's time and seemed to be quite fascinated with her specifically (this paired with his appearance is why I think they're related), and constantly gave Sunny hope about a brighter future when things could be like ancient Equestria once more. She writes a letter with her dad, telling the unicorns and pegasi to come to their town, and they send it off on a lantern. Fast forward, she's an adult now, her dad's gone (wtf hasbro, i loved him), and her best friend Hitch is now the sheriff. Sprout is also there, he's Hitch's deputy, and his mom runs a company that basically makes money off of the fear of the other two races, making products to "protect them" from Unicorns and Pegasi. Sunny sneaks in to stop this, makes a bit of a fool of herself, and Hitch tells her she needs to just...go home. She's about too, but a unicorn walks into town, enter Izzy! Izzy completely seems to ignore the fact all the Earth Ponies fear her until Sunny points it out. She gets caught in a unicorn trap, but Sunny goes against Hitch's orders and frees her. They go back to Sunny's house, then end up running off, in which Izzy informs Sunny that unicorns lost their magic a long time ago. They set off on a journey to the pegasus city, and Hitch goes after them, leaving Sprout in charge (uh-oh). They meet a pegasus named Zipp, after Izzy tells Sunny about something called "luminescence", which is a pony's sparkle, the happier they are the brighter it shines, and apparently only unicorns can see it? Anyways, Zipp has to disappear, and the pair get caught by two pegasus guards, who take them back to the queen. We get a view of the city, find out Princess Pipp is also a social media star, and we also find out that Zipp is Pipp's twin sister (They never said twins in the movie but I think Zipp's wiki mentioned that she's the older twin), and Queen Haven is not too pleased with the fact that a unicorn and Earth pony are in her castle. The three royals also flew in, while Sunny notes that they haven't seen any other pegasi flying. They get sent to "the dungeon", which is just a spa with prison bars. Zipp comes to see them, and Pipp comes by too. When Sunny inquires about the flying, Pipp tells them that only the royals know how to fly. Pipp leaves, Zipp ends up freeing them and shows them an old hanger. She lets them in on the secret that the royals can't fly either, and it's probably linked to their loss of magic. She also shows them a mural in the hangar, broken glass depicting Twilight's cutiemark, a pegasus on the right, and a unicorn on the left. The pegasus is reaching to a crystal, which Zipp says is the pegasus crystal, part of her mom's crown. They also discover there's a unicorn one, and Sunny figures that if they reunite the two crystals, they can bring magic back. They plan out a heist, making a fake crown to swap the real one with while the queen is busy watching Zipp's performance. However, two of them spook a director who's controlling the wires making Pipp "fly", Sunny discovers Hitch followed them, and through panic, they drop the crystal, and Pipp is left hanging, as the pegasi find out that their royalty have been lying to them. The queen ends up arrested, Hitch follows the trio, and just as they're panicking over the lost crystal, Pipp shows up with it, and has a bit of a

dispute with her sister. They go off travelling together, later that night they sit around a campfire, banter, grow closer, and Izzy reveals she came to Maretime bay (Sunny's home) because she found a letter saying she had friends there, and Sunny realizes that SHE sent that letter. The next morning, group sets off to the forest that the unicorns live in, Izzy shows them her house and gives them unicorn disguises, then they go out into the town, and discover that all the other unicorns are super depressed because of the loss of magic. They also find out unicorns are superstitious, and there are certain forbidden words that make them do a silly little ritual because they think they'll get jinxed. They go into a tea shop, and catch eye of Alphabittle, an older bartender unicorn, who seems to enjoy making bets, winning games, and taking whatever the other unicorn bets. Sunny sees the unicorn crystal behind him, and challenges him for it, offering the pegasus crystal as her end of the offer. They engage in some intense pony DDR, and Sunny wins! But then her fake horn falls off, Alphabittle tries to take the crystals, then Hitch shouts out ALL the forbidden words, causing the unicorns to do the ritual and allow them to escape. They end up bumping into Queen haven, guards chasing after her, Alphabittle and some other unicorns appear, and Sunny convinces them to let her put the crystals together so they can bring magic back. But....it doesn't work. Sunny is disappointed as HELL and leaves with Hitch, but when she gets home, she finds out that there's a third crystal, one that her father put in a little nightlight he made, that displays little light sillhoutes of the three races. As she goes to inform Hitch, they find out Sprout has become A FUCKING DICTATOR, and essentially declaring war, wrapping all of Maretime bay into it. The duo go to warn the others, but surprise! The others came back to Sunny, and their respective groups are chasing after them begging them to come home. Sprout drives his war machine and his army to try and take out the pegasi, but when Sunny runs off to return magic, Sprout turns course to her lighthouse, Zipp and Hitch take on the robot with the others, leaving Sunny and Izzy to try and fix things. They get the crystals together....but it still doesn't work. The lighthouse comes crashing down, but Sprout's mom managed to stop him from killing anyone in the process, and Sunny is just pretty upset still- But then she realizes that it wasn't the crystals...it was the ponies, they had to be together for magic to exist, the crystals were just a small part of that. When this revelation happens though, the crystals rise from the wreckage, glowing, lifting Sunny into the air, and she's adorned with wings and a horn, but translucent and glowing gold rather than magic her fur. Magic is returned, the unicorn's horns work again, pegasi can fly again, and the three races decide to come back together.

[clexylexy]

rating wlw ships i’ve encountered in my gay life

(but only the ones that “actually” sailed... listed in the order i watched them)

1. stef and lena - the fosters

this is the first wlw ship i remember encountering. BEFORE i realized i’m a lesbian. 

i remember seeing stef’s journey with her husband and lena and thinking, “god i would hate that” and feeling personally attacked even though i thought i was straight. -3 points on accounts of slight pettiness in honor of pre-gay me.

it’s been a while since i watched this show, but from what i remember they were good together and i felt seen, even though i had no idea why. +.5 points.

total: 7.5/10

2. brittany and santana - glee

whoever let me watch this show? it’s ridiculous. -4 points on accounts of being ridiculous.

anyway, still didn’t know i’m gay at this point. but i remember being invested. 

i did enjoy santana’s arc. again, i felt very attacked because at the time i was in denial. -2 points on accounts of slight pettiness yet again.

they were always the best part of the show, though, in my opinion. +2 points.

total: 6/10

3. lexa and clarke - the 100 

i was invested in these two for A WHILE. 

only cons include that this was a slow burn that got cut off before the good feeling of a slow burn could hit. they didn’t even get to become a real couple because lexa died the second they consummated their relationship. -4 points on accounts of unnecessary pain. 

other than that, lots of gay pining and really obvious gay proclamations made by lexa, including but not limited to: “attack her and you attack me” and “i swear fealty to you, klark kom skaikru.” +2 points.

coincidentally, sometime during this show or maybe slightly before watching it i came to terms with my sexuality. +0 points on accounts of this not being affiliated with the show or the couple.

total: 8/10

4. kat and adena - the bold type 

i didn't like this show too much. i kept losing interest often. -3 points on accounts of... being bored.

i did, however, like the ship. i sometimes struggled to connect with it, i think because i wasn’t all that into the show as a whole. i’ve never been the type to watch a show just for the gay characters. -2 points.

please note that that’s just my opinion. you could very well end up liking the show a lot. i do remember them being apart for a lot of the season for some reason, which quickly made me lose focus. i can’t remember why, that’s how little this show stuck out to me.

total: 5/10

5. waverly and nicole - wynonna earp

lovely couple. very cute together. also, they care so much about one another and they get lots of screen time. 

plus, the show is killer. i love the cast and there's a lot of relatable characters.

i only watched seasons 1 and 2, however, because it stopped recording on my tv for GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON and i’m not caught up yet. so i can’t say anything on seasons after that.

total: 10/10

6. alex and maggie, then alex and kelly - supergirl

i love alex’s story line. it felt super relatable and real, plus she got some cute ladies. her sexuality isn’t turned into a big deal. as soon as she realizes and has that conversation with herself, it drops away. nobody is like, “huh, alex is gay???” ever again. she just... is.

i also really like that alex isn’t just with the first girl she meets, like a lot of wlw who realize they’re gay in a show. she realizes that her and maggie don’t share the same views, recognizes that she wants more, and breaks up with her. then she finds kelly. it’s realistic, i love it.

total: 10/10

7. elena and syd - one day at a time

such cute little babies. they have open conversations about themselves and their future and it’s insanely healthy. also elena’s coming out arc is wonderfully portrayed. i have nothing else to say, i love them.

total: 10/10

8. nico and karolina - marvel’s runaways 

one thing that stuck out to me about their relationship is that nobody butts into their business once they’ve made it abundantly clear that they’re together. they just get to exist. 

also, extra points for the whole “light and dark balancing each other out” thing that they have going on between them. i also appreciate that they get a good amount of screen time, and their relationship is realistic. 

total: 10/10

9. casey and izzie - atypical 

another case of a very realistic relationship that i was really able to connect to. it does take some time before they end up together, but this really only sold it more for me. they’re both young, and confused, and trying to wrap their heads around their feelings, and the time that it took for them to come together was honestly, in my opinion, worth it. 

total: 10/10

10. toni and cheryl - riverdale 

i’m sorry, but riverdale is just... absolute garbage after season 1. -5 points on account of just how horrible this show actually has become.

i watched clips of toni and cheryl on youtube when i learned they were together. they’re cute, and they clearly care for one another. i did like the way they came together, even though i was extremely confused whenever they would reference stuff going on outside of their relationship. 

one thing that sticks out, though, is that cheryl is an absolute bitch, and you already KNOW i am a softy for bitches who become ENTIRE WHOLE SOFTIES for their gfs. +1 point.

total: 6/10

11. korra and asami - the legend of korra 

they don’t actually get together until the final episode, and even then... there’s no kiss or anything. -6 points.

i did, however, like their friendship. i always thought (especially in the last season) that there was something more there. +1 point.

total: 5/10

12. eve and villanelle - killing eve

i am including this mainly because of the kiss, but also because of all of the... sexual tension. 

these two are not a good wlw couple in that they aren’t really even a “couple” at all, but i appreciate the cat-and-mouse game that they play throughout the show.

they can never really have any sort of “relationship” at all seeing as villanelle is a psychopath and i don’t really see them (well, eve) ever fully being able to move away from that. -3 points.

total: 7/10

13. ali and aster - the half of it

very good movie, really good representation. they do share a kiss, and their whole back-and-forth with the letters is adorable. 

but, there’s not a lot of gay content between the two of them. -4 points.

please note that this movie is not about the gays, though. it’s more about the friendship between ali and paul, and ali coming into her own and discovering who she is.

total: 6/10

14. harley quinn and poison ivy - harley quinn (2019) 

i adore their friendship, and i love their special bond. i am really only including them, however, because of the most recent kiss and harley’s gay panic. it is not entirely clear if they will actually end up together or not, but who knows tbh. -4 points.

total: 6/10

15. scylla and raelle - motherland: fort salem 

SUCH a good story line. i’ll admit, at first i was nervous because i was afraid this relationship might put a bad rep on wlw relationships. particularly because of scylla’s involvement with the spree, but it pulled through and gave me that good “holy shit this was supposed to be a mission but i actually fell in love” relationship i have always wanted...

also, they’re adorable. i appreciate that the gay stuff happens in the very first episode, too. so if you’re looking for that shit... this is the place to be. doesn’t hurt that the story is really good, too.

total: 10/10

[bytheangell]

You Can't Keep Safe What Wants to Break

(Read on AO3)

Magnus probably shouldn’t be here for this conversation, but Jace is waiting for them when Magnus portals them back to the Institute from Idris. Jace is eagerly awaiting the response from the Council meeting, nervously pacing back and forth in Alec’s office where they thought they’d have a bit more time to figure out how to break the news to him. Alec planned on doing it alone, with Magnus at home preparing the strongest cocktails he can manage short of inducing alcohol poisoning to deal with the aftermath. Instead, Alec shoots Magnus a quick, pleading glance, and Magnus doesn’t have the heart to try and make a quick exit with them both in front of him like this.

Neither of them is ready for the conversation that’s about to happen.

One look at their faces and Jace doesn’t have to wait for either of them to speak to know what news they have for him.

“Jace…” Alec starts, but it’s no use.

“They said no,” Jace says for him, crestfallen.

“There was nothing we could do,” Magnus tries. “We pulled every favor we had.” It’s true - they really did try everything short of actual bribery to get the discussion and the votes to go their way… and, okay, maybe a little actual bribery Alec doesn’t need to know about, but even that wasn’t enough.

“They wouldn’t let go of the fact that the Angels took her memories and her abilities, and essentially kicked her out of the Shadow World. They don’t want to risk letting her back in. They’re scared,” Alec says, not that Jace needs to hear it. He’s heard that argument time and time again ever since Clary remembered him at her art show that night… ever since he started seeing her regularly, and reforming a relationship with her.

Ever since he wanted her to be part of his life - part of all of their lives - again.

But the Nephilim have strict rules about mundanes being intimately involved with Shadowhunters, rules that have to be followed to keep them out of the Shadow World. And without her abilities, without everything that once made her one of them, that’s all Clary is to them. A mundane.

“I can’t lose her again,” Jace says, sounding broken and lost. “I just got her back, I can’t let her go.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec offers as if this final verdict from the Council means the discussion is over, topic closed. Magnus knows the look in Jace’s eyes, though. Jace isn’t letting this go. Magnus wanted to stay out of this. He did his best to stay out of the previous discussions between Alec and Jace and Izzy and members of the Council, because despite his personal investment in both Clary and Jace’s well beings this isn’t a personal matter, not to the Shadowhunters - it’s a political one. He always knew how this would play out, despite their best efforts… duty before all else, the law is hard but it is the law and all that nonsense.

He wanted to stay out of this, but now he finds himself in the thick of it, staring into the blue and brown eyes of a Shadowhunter pushed to the breaking point between heart and duty.

There’s a long, tense silence in the office before Jace turns away from Alec and Magnus. Magnus can’t tell if he’s hiding his pain from them or something else entirely. Magnus thinks that Jace almost sounds determined when he finally speaks. Resolved. It doesn’t sit well with Magnus but he doesn’t pry, not just now.

“Yeah,” Jace says as he makes his way out of the office. “So am I.”

“That went better than I expected,” Alec admits once Jace is gone.

Magnus gives a distracted nod, but he doesn’t think the matter is over, not by a longshot. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to let Alec think that the worst is past. He has a sinking suspicion that the worst - much worse than this - is yet to come.

“Let’s go home, shall we? I think we could both use that drink now.”

---

There’s no warning from his wards before the knock on the door sounds, so Magnus knows the person is a friend before he checks through the eyehole. Unexpected visits in Idris are few and far between these days, and he’s particularly surprised to find Jace Herondale standing in the hallway when he opens the door.

“Alec isn’t back from his meeting yet, is he?” Jace asks, in a tone that implies he not only knows the answer but fully planned on arriving while his parabatai is out.

“No,” Magnus confirms. “He’ll likely be another hour or so. Come in,” Magnus says, stepping aside for the Shadowhunter to enter. Jace shrugs his coat off and hangs it on the rack by the door.

Instead of prompting Jace Magnus remains silent, reading the blond’s body language and the tension held in every muscle, the strain of every movement, to know that there’s something wrong. Something he doesn’t want to tell Alec if he’s here talking with Magnus first.

“I need you to be honest with me,” Jace says. “Because I already know how Alec and Izzy are going to react, and it isn’t going to be good. And I just--” Jace breaks off there, pacing back and forth. “I need someone impartial to tell me I’m not crazy.”

“I’d hardly say I’m impartial,” Magnus points out.

“But you can be. At least, you can be brutally honest when you need to be, and I need you to be. I just need to talk to you as Magnus, not my parabatai’s husband.”

“Alright,” Magnus agrees, ignoring the urge to make a joke about Jace’s ego not being able to handle Magnus’ honesty. Something tells him this isn’t the time. “What’s on your mind?”

“I want to be with Clary,” Jace says.

The words on their own aren’t surprising. Of course Jace wants to be with Clary. Magnus knows that Jace loves her more than he’s ever loved anyone - save possibly his parabatai - in his entire life. But Clary cannot be part of their world as a mundane, it’d never be recognized or allowed by the Clave. The only way for Jace to be with her now is--

Oh.

The realization dawns on him and sits like a leaden weight in his stomach. His expression must give away what he pieced together because Jace notes the look on his face and continues quickly.

“I’ve thought about it. By the Angel, all I can do is think about it. She never leaves my mind, Magnus. She hasn’t since the day she left and she’s never going to, especially not now that we’ve reconnected. I can’t live without her. And I don’t have to. I just have to…” but Jace trails off there as if saying it might make it too real. So Magnus finishes for him.

“You just have to be de-runed, to leave behind the only family you’ve ever known and the only life you’ve ever known.” Magnus manages to say the words with minimal infliction; no judgment, just facts.

Jace winces. “I did ask for brutal honesty, didn’t I?” he says, though the laugh he gives is forced.

“This isn’t a decision to be made lightly, Jace. I know that you know that, but do you truly understand the gravity of that decision? There’s a reason de-runing is the most severe of punishments for crimes against the Clave,” Magnus points out.

“I know,” Jace says. “But living without Clary for the rest of my life… at least the pain of a de-runing is temporary.”

“But the effects are far from temporary,” Magnus reminds him. At the look on Jace’s face, Magnus adds quickly, “I’m simply presenting all of the angles, I’m not trying to talk you out of it.”

When he imagined what Jace might do in retaliation of the Council’s decision before he pictured more of a fit of rage, a ‘fuck the system’ rebellion of finding a way around their ruling to bring Clary back anyway. This option crossed his mind, of course, but never in a million years would he imagine Jace pursuing it.

Jace is quiet for a moment after that. Magnus takes some small comfort in knowing his words aren’t falling on deaf ears. Jace wouldn’t have come here if he didn’t want to talk this through, after all.

“I know losing the parabatai bond will hurt Alec,” Jace says quietly. “It’s the part I keep coming back to. The rest… I know Alec and Isabelle won’t abandon me if I go through with it, no matter what the laws are. I won’t lose them, not entirely. But the bond…” Jace actually looks close to tears simply speaking of it, and Magnus moves forward to take him gently by the hand and lead him over to the sofa.

“It isn’t a bond broken easily,” Magnus agrees. “You will both suffer greatly for the loss of it.”

Jace hangs his head. “I don’t want to put Alec through that, but… but he will someday anyway, right? One of us will, in the end. It isn’t like it’s inevitable. I’m just… moving up the timeline.”

Magnus can practically hear the number of times Jace must’ve repeated that to himself before now, over and over in his head until he was nearly convinced it’s enough justification. He isn’t wrong, Magnus will give him that. But it’s one thing to lose the bond through an inevitable death, and another entirely to know that you’ve caused that pain and loss intentionally.

The look on Jace’s face as he avoids Magnus’ gaze tells him that Jace knows that, too.

“Have you talked to Clary about this?” Magnus asks.

Jace nods. “She said we could get an apartment together. I can’t tell her everything, obviously, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think we had a real chance, you know I wouldn’t.” Jace shakes his head. “I don’t want to have to choose. This… being a Shadowhunter, this is what I’m good at. It’s what I was raised to be. But Clary… she’s my future, Magnus. I was trained to be a weapon, but I was born to love Clary Fairchild.”

Magnus is struck suddenly by the memory of another Shadowhunter he knew who was willing to give up everything for the love of a mundane girl. ‘I was born to be a warrior, and I was born to be with her. Tell me how to reconcile the two because I cannot.’ The words of one Edmund Herondale rang clear in Magnus’ mind, bringing a slow, sad smile to his face.

“You Herondales certainly have a penchant for sacrificial love,” Magnus observes, not unkindly. Edmund gave up his runes, James his sanity and stability, Will was ready to give up love itself, and now Jace...

“I can give up Shadowhunting. There are plenty of others who can take over for me now, and plenty more to follow after me,” Jace says.

It’s a strange thing, to witness the blind faith the Nephilim place in their Angels from birth begin to crumble and crack - to question outdated laws and revert back to something more basic, more simply human. Life. Love. Happiness. Desire.

“I’m not concerned about the Shadowhunter’s loss of a soldier,” Magnus points out. “And you don’t have to convince me. I know better than to think there will be any talking you out of this once your mind is made up… and it does appear to be entirely made up. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Jace nods. “I haven’t told anyone yet, but I think Maryse might have an idea. I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately about her de-runing, and what happens afterward.”

Magnus nods slowly. That makes sense. “You won’t be allowed back in Idris again. If the full extent of standard procedure were followed you wouldn’t be able to see any of your family or friends again, but something tells me Alexander won’t let that bit stand.”

He knows that Maryse showed up once or twice to the Institute and that Luke and her family visit her regularly, either at the bookshop or at her home. All of which is highly irregular, but then again, not much about Alexander’s influence of the Clave’s rules and standards hasn’t fought back against their antiquated ways in one way or another.

Jace sounds uncertain when he replies, “I don’t know, there’s a very good chance that Alec won’t speak to me again after this, law or not.”

“If you think there’s any chance of Alexander abandoning you for this decision-”

“And why shouldn’t he?” Jace cuts Magnus off. “After I abandon him first.”

The harshness of Jace’s tone causes Magnus to wince.

“This isn’t just a matter of marrying someone and moving away. This isn’t even just about losing my runes. If it was just my own sacrifice there wouldn’t be a doubt in my mind, but…”

“But it isn’t just your own life this choice affects,” Magnus supplies for him, finally realizing why he came to speak with Magnus first. These are complicated, deep emotions. Alexander and Jace, when confronted with issues as personal as this, could be a volatile force. Magnus is glad Jace had the presence of mind to try and sort through his own first.

“I took an oath. Entreat me not to leave thee,” Jace huffs out with a broken laugh. Magnus knows the oath. He’s familiar with it enough to know that by doing what he’s planning now Jace is breaking every line of it, every promise. “‘The Angel do so to me, and more also,

If aught but death part thee and me.’” Jace’s eyes leave Magnus’ and fix on a point beyond him, growing distant. “How can I choose? Why do I have to choose? It isn’t fair.”

“Life very rarely is,” Magnus says sadly.

“What would you do, if you were me?” Jace asks.

Magnus considers the question, thinks back to all of the loves he had and lost over the centuries, of the love he has now with Alec. He tries to picture what it might be like if he and Catarina were bonded like Jace and Alec, but in the end, he can only shake his head.

“I can only begin to imagine the intricacies of the bond the two of you share,” Magnus admits finally. “I’ve sacrificed everything for love, more times than many would consider wise, and I’ve been burned every time but one.” It isn’t what Jace wants to hear, but it’s the truth. And what follows is also the truth. “But every time was worth the possibility of true love.”

That gives Jace a bit of hope, which is what he needs. It’s what he’s searching for, behind his call for honesty and council.

“If I were you? I’d probably risk what you’re planning now. It’s foolish and reckless, a gamble beyond measure, but isn’t love always?” Magnus smiles softly at that. “And if I were Alexander, and my dearest friend came to me in your situation, I can promise you that any anger or betrayal I felt would be temporary, eventually eclipsed by the joy of knowing they found all the happiness they were looking for in life.”

“You think?” Jace asks, daring to sound optimistic at the mere suggestion that there’s a possibility of Alec being alright with this in the end.

“But I’m not either of you, and this is not my decision to make.”

Magnus feels the gentle ripple in his warding that alerts him to his husband’s arrival downstairs. “Alec’s back,” Magnus says. “I can portal you to the Institute if you’d like to keep this between us for now.” It’s a simple offer, no judgment if Jace wants more time to consider his options, or simply to stall before talking this out with Alec. As difficult as keeping something like this from Alec will be he wouldn’t betray Jace’s trust in coming to him for advice. Magnus watches Jace closely, able to see the flash of panic on Jace’s face and the hesitation as he debates taking the offer of a portal.

“No,” Jace says with a determined shake of his head. When Magnus thinks back to his similar encounter with Edmund nearly a century ago, he distinctly recalls the feeling of witnessing a disaster, of wreckage. But this is different: Jace Herondale isn’t ruining himself, he’s rebuilding.

“I’ll make myself scarce, then,” Magnus says, standing up to make his way toward the door.

“Magnus, hey,” Alec greets, leaning in to give him a kiss in greeting when he opened the door to find Magnus standing next to it, grabbing his coat. Alec catches sight of Jace behind him and his brows furrow. “Jace? Is everything alright?”

“I’m heading out for a bit. Give me a call if you need anything,” Magnus says instead of answering Alec. The question isn’t meant for him, after all.

Magnus looks over at Jace one last time before leaving the two of them alone to speak, still surrounded by the ghosts of his past. He sees so much of Edmund’s determination to follow his heart, no matter the personal cost. He sees Will’s enthusiasm and desperate need for the potential of love. He sees James’s consuming passion.

Magnus sees enough of Jace’s ancestors in him to know without a doubt that Jace will be just fine in the end; and if he isn’t, then Magnus imagines he has enough experience assisting lovestruck Herondales to help him through.

[maylovexhs]

everytime - LOVE ME WRONG(Chp. 38)

Author’s Note: Miss Allie X and Troye Sivan is who to thank for this chapter. They really got me in my emotions. Enjoy this chapter loves! - May

Catch up on everytime here

November 27, 2019. 1 PM.

*Y/N’S POV*

I thought about it and no, I still have decided. It’s only been a week. I couldn’t possibly decide in a week. I wanted to be with Ashton. He was much better to me than Harry has been. I’ve only been with Ashton for three months. I barely gave him a chance compared to Harry. I loved Ashton. But if I loved Ashton so much, why did a part of me wish I was with Harry instead?

“Don’t you have one of those already?” Ashton asked me.

I held the guitar in my hand as I played a few strings on it.

“No” I said. “I have a blue color of it. Not an orange”

“You’re really going to pay for something you already have?” Ashton asked me.

I shook my head, putting the guitar back.

I was Ashton’s work. I surprised him with lunch and decided to stay around for another hour at his job. I wasn’t spending Thanksgiving with him so I decided to try and spend the day before with him. Ashton actually had invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family but I refused. Firstly, I didn’t want to rub the sight of us in Billie’s. Secondly, I didn’t want to give Ashton’s parents hope that he and I will stay together because I had no idea of who to pick still. And thirdly, I would just be thinking of Harry the whole time there.

We heard the store’s door chime as a customer came in. Ashton and I looked to each other.

“Can I meet you after work?” Ashton asked me.

I nodded.

“Yeah” I said. “Your place. What time do you get off?”

“I close at 7” Ashton said. “So, 8:30 latest?”

I reached up and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll be there” I said.

Ashton smiled at me.

“See you soon” I said to him.

I turned away from him. I started to walk away before I Ashton call me.

“Y/N” Ashton said.

I turned around to him.

“Yeah?” I asked him.

Ashton opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it.

“Ash,” I said. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing important” Ashton said. “I’ll tell you about it later”

“You’re sure?” I asked him. “I can stay another minute. I don’t have nothing to do for the rest of the day”

“Yeah, I’m sure” Ashton said. “Besides, I don’t want Ron thinking I’m not doing my job and fire me if he sees one more second of us”

I nodded at him.

“Okay” I told him. “But you’re telling me it later”

“I will” Ashton said.

I smiled at him. I turned away. I walked over to the door. I stopped to turn around and look at Ashton before I left. He was already talking to the customers who just walked in.

My smile slowly faded.

I exited out of the shop, beginning to walk down the block.

God, I hope Ashton won’t say he loves me. Not that I didn’t want him to say it or know he loves me, it’s just . . . I didn’t want to hear it now.

I knew Ashton loved me. He may have not admitted it directly but it was obvious ever since he flew to Paris for me. I knew Ashton loved me. I just didn’t want him to say it to me because if he does . . . I’ll have to say it back. Listen, of course I loved Ashton. He makes me so happy and I wouldn’t be with him if I did not love him a little. It’s just I am not quite ready to tell him I loved him, mainly because I was still thinking of Harry.

How could I tell Ashton I loved him when every time I looked at him I immediately think of Ashton? It was not enough I felt guilty for not telling Ashton about what happened last week. How could I even tell him? Ashton immediately suspected Harry was jealous of us after that night at dinner. I managed to quickly dismiss that possibility to Ashton since I thought Harry would never think of me in that way again. But now? If I told Ashton, I would just be confirming his suspicion and slightly be defending Harry.

I turned the corner of the block, walking towards my car.

I should have just told Ashton the day after Harry kissed me. I should have told him and I wouldn’t feel so guilty now. I told Ali I was going to tell him but I needed some days to think about what I was going to do with Harry. What was I going to do about Harry? I couldn’t tell Ashton about it and still be friends with Harry. That would be unfair to both of them. Ashton is my boyfriend. I’m supposed to be loyal to him and choose him above any other man. But Harry was my friend. I’ve known him longer than Ashton. How could I choose only one?

I took my car keys out of my bag. I unlocked my car, getting into the driver’s seat and closing the door.

I knew I had to tell Ashton at some point. I knew I had to do something about Harry too. I also knew I had to do both before it was too late.

I plugged my key into the ignition, the car turning on.

I just hope I would know soon or I would lose Ashton and Harry.

10 PM.

So far, nothing. I expected Ashton to tell me he loved me right away when I met him at his apartment but he didn’t. I was a little happy  he did not mention it to me yet. I would have no idea how to react if he did. All I had was Harry on my head. I couldn’t properly think of what to say if Ashton did say he loved me. But, on the other hand, I was surprised. If Ashton wanted to tell me he loved me, why didn’t he yet? Did he change his mind about telling me? If that was the case, did something happen that changed his mind? Did he know something about Harry and I?

Ashton entered his room, holding a bag of chips and a coke.

“As requested” Ashton said, smiling at me.

“I didn’t ask” I said. “But you know your way to my heart”

Ashton handed me the coke and the bag of chips. I sat on Ashton’s bed, watching the television. Ashton sat down next to me. I opened the can of coke and started to drink it.

No. Ashton couldn’t know about Harry and I. The only people I told were Ali and Izzy. Both didn’t have his numbers so there was no way he could know about Harry kissing me. But what about everything else between Harry and I? I didn’t tell Ashton that I dated Harry for a month before. I didn’t tell Ashton I wrote songs about Harry before. I didn’t tell Ashton anything apart that Harry was a very close friend of mine and I knew him for forever. Did Ashton know I had a history with Harry? I’ve always made it clear in the media that Harry and I were friends only but anyone could suspect more.

No, no, no. There was no possibility Ashton knew about my history with Harry. It wasn’t like he knew someone who wrote songs with me about Harry. . . OH MY GOD. BILLIE.

I choked on my coke. I coughed, clearing my throat. Ashton looked worried at me.

“Are you okay?” Ashton asked me.

“Yeah” I said, between coughs. “Drank too fast”

Ashton took the coke from my hand and put it on his bedside table.

“You’re almost done with the can” Ashton said. “Did you chug it?”

I shook my head, regaining my breath.

“Just thirsty” I said.

“I can see . . .” Ashton said.

I bit my lip, knowing how stupid I just was. I looked to television.

Billie, his sister. How could I forget about Billie? Billie - who practically knows everything about my love life just from my songs. Billie could have told him. She could have. But then again, Billie gave us her blessing. Why would she want to ruin something she wants to happen? It didn’t make sense.

I looked to Ashton.

Should I just ask him about it? Should I just mention to him about earlier? What’s the worst he could say? That he loves me? That Billie told him about Harry and I? He was going to find out anyway. Should I really just tell him now? It’s been a week. Maybe I should wait until after Thanksgiving. I don’t want to ruin this holiday for him. I could wait another week. I would know what to do about Harry by then-

“What?” Ashton asked me.

“What?” I said.

“You’re giving me that look” Ashton said.

I immediately perked up, smiling.

“What look?” I asked. “There’s nothing to worry about”

Ashton blinked at me, clearly not believing in me.

“Y/N,” Ashton said. “You just admitted something is wrong”

I frowned.

I’ll just ask him about earlier. I’ll just ask that and nothing else.

“Fine” I said. “Before I left . . . what were you going to say?”

Ashton smiled at me.

“Oh, that.” Ashton said. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to spend Christmas with my family”

I let out a little sigh, relieved.

Christmas? He wanted to ask me about Christmas?

“Oh,” I said. “Why didn’t you just ask me that?”

“I was going to but since you’re not coming to Thanksgiving, I didn’t want to make any false promises to my parents” Ashton said.

I smiled at him.

“Yeah . . . it’s good that you didn’t” I said.

Especially since I have no idea what to do about Harry or you yet . . .

“I mean, I would love to” I told him. “Anything could happen in a month and I usually spend it with my friends but I wouldn’t mind spending it with you and your family. Just thought you would ask me the week before”

“I was planning to” Ashton said. “Wanted it to be a surprise when I asked you”

“Oh” I said, looking down.

I scratched my neck, realizing I ruined Ashton’s romantic proposal. I looked up to him.

“Well, it could still be a surprise. . .” I said. “I’ll just forget about it and you can ask me a week before”

Ashton smiled at me.

“I will” Ashton said. “And not in my room”

I still smiled, looking back to the television.

I knew he couldn’t have known. If he did, he wouldn’t have asked me to spend Christmas with his family. I’m pretty sure if he did know, he would have broken up with me already and I wouldn’t be in his bedroom. But Christmas. . . he wanted to spend it with me. I never had a boyfriend invite me to spend Christmas with them. The closest I have ever received was Anne invited me to spend Christmas with her and Harry. But Harry’s my friend. He was when Anne asked me.

Ashton imagined a future with me. A future that I could actually share with him. A future where I could actually be happy.

I looked to Ashton.

If Ashton imagined spending his future with me, he deserved the truth at least. It was the right thing to do. Ashton would understand. Ashton knows I would never want to hurt him. He would know I never planned to kiss Harry back that night. I was with him. Not Harry.

“I need to tell you something” I said.

Ashton turned to me.

“You realized you can’t come to Christmas?” Ashton asked me.

“No, no” I shook my head. “It’s . . .”

How the hell do I tell him without making him upset?

“It’s what?” Ashton asked me.

I bit my bottom lip.

Well, here it goes . . .

“Harry and I kissed” I said.

“What?” Ashton asked me.

“We kissed” I said. “Well, he kissed me and I wanted to slap him for it. I ran away to my room from him but then he apologized and the next thing I knew was that I kissed him back”

Ashton didn’t say anything. He just stared at me.

“Ashton, say something” I told him. “Please”

“I knew it all along” Ashton said, looking down. “I knew he was jealous that night”

“Listen, I know how it sounds” I began to explain. “I told you he was a friend and I really thought we were because I never thought he would kiss me. Then he did and I wanted to tell you sooner but-“

“It’s okay” Ashton said.

“What?” I asked him, surprised.

“Harry kissed you” Ashton looked up to me. “And he’s your friend. You were confused and kissed him back”

“You’re not mad?” I asked him.

“Well, a little. . .” Ashton said. “This happened a week ago, right?”

I nodded.

“I wanted to tell you sooner but I’m still trying to think what to do about Harry” I said. “I didn’t want to tell you until I knew”

“And do you know?” Ashton asked me. “About what to do with Harry?”

I looked down, shaking my head.

“He’s one of my best friends” I said. “I know it’s wrong if I’m still friends with him after that while I’m with you but . . .”

“You can’t do that to him” Ashton said.

I nodded.

“Ever since he kissed me, all I ever think about is him” I told Ashton. “I swear I can’t even look at you because I just think of him. That’s why I didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with your family. It would be torture. I’ve been trying to forget him but I can’t. . .”

“Do you think of him more than a friend now?” Ashton asked me.

I looked to Ashton. I knew the answer but didn’t want to say it.

“If I said yes, would that mean I’m horrible?” I asked him.

Ashton looked down. He sighed.

I immediately felt a wave of guilt hit me. I just admitted I had feelings for Harry. And to my boyfriend.

“You should talk to him” Ashton said under his breath.

“What?” I asked him. “I can’t. He kissed me. I shouldn’t even step a foot next to him-“

“Y/N” Ashton said. “Harry’s your best friend. I can’t force you to pick between me and him”

I stayed silent.

I knew how kind Ashton was but I never expected him to be this kind to me. He was putting my happiness above his. He was willing to give up me as long as I was with the right person. I knew he had to be hurt underneath his kindness.

“You need to do whatever is best for you” Ashton said. “If you need time, you should take it”

I felt my eyes water up. I hugged him.

“Why do you have to be so nice?” I asked him. “It just makes it worse”

“It’s part of my job” Ashton said. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be”

“I don’t know if you will be anymore” I said. “I want you to be. I wish I just knew”

“It’s okay, Y/N” Ashton said. “I’ll be happy if you choose Harry. I just care if you are happy”

I cried into Ashton’s chest.

I wish I knew.

I wish I just knew.

[spookypalace]

something borrowed - chapter two

After one drink too many at her  30th-birthday celebration, Jo unexpectedly falls into bed with her  longtime crush and best friend, Alex – who happens to be engaged to her best friend, Izzie. Ramifications of the liaison threaten to destroy  the women’s lifelong friendship, while Jackson, Jo’s  confidant, harbors a potentially explosive secret of his own.

—

Or the one where everyone is a little messy but you still root for them anyway.

(ao3 link)

ok ok so i'm not entirely happy with this chapter, partly because i used a bit of backstory from the book but i kinda preffered how they did it in the movie so i included that also lol - so there is a bit of both :/ i've been sitting on the chapter for a bit but couldn't think of any way i'd want to change it up so i thought i'd just post and get it over with.

also this is a flashback and within this flashback, there is a flashback. it's the big chunk in italics, but if anyone thinks the way i have formatted this chapter is confusing then please let me know so i can change it and make it ... make more sense i guess.

anyway, thanks for reading and please let me what you think!!

May 2004

It’s to no one’s surprise that the only person left in the campus library at ten p.m. on the last Friday of their final year of law school, it’s Jo. It’s where she spent most of her evenings for the past couple of weeks, studying and stressing—attempting to cram in as much last-minute knowledge she could before their final exam on the following Wednesday.

Brunette hair tied back, save for the few small wisps fluttering over her eyes she’d blowing up at every so often. His oversized grey sweatshirt hangs loosely off her arms as she turns page after page of some old law journal, her right-hand scribbling down messy notes at her unusually fast pace.

The library was dull lit, save for the security guards lamp who sits grunting in the back corner, and the numerous lamps that lit the large mahogany table she currently sat at—books splayed across the surface, ones she hadn’t touched for hours but kept out just in case. Jo chooses not to think about how long it’ll take her to clear this up before she must leave.

A yawn escapes her lips, causing her to lift her left wrist and check the time, she’d already been here for six hours and unless the security guard was kicking her out—she wasn’t leaving. Jo had come way too far and worked way too hard to fall at the last hurdle, the last exam.

Maybe if she hadn’t spent the first half of her senior year with Izzie and Jackson and Alex so much, albeit separately, she wouldn’t feel the need to study as much as she had in the past few weeks. Jo had found herself falling behind, distracted by parties and flooding apartments and some crappy law drama Jackson had forced her to watch every Thursday night. But now, after weeks—she felt like she was getting back on track, just in time as well.

Jo’s eyes scan the page in front of her, she reads it over and over, but the words just don’t seem to settle in. With a deep groan, she throws the pen across the table and flops her head into her hands, rubbing circles against her temple.

“You look like you could do with a drink.” Alex’s familiar deep voice sneaks up behind her, causing Jo to jump in her seat—spine becoming rigid as a loud gasp escapes her lips. The sound causes the security guard to stand from his seat, glaring over at the pair. “Sorry,” Alex calls over to the guy, raising his hands in defence before letting out a laugh as he settles down on the chair next to a still heavy-breathing Jo.

“You scared me!” She exclaims through gritted teeth, trying to keep her voice quiet but still let Alex know she wasn’t all that happy about his surprise arrival. He places a comforting hand on her back and rubs softly, up and down up and down. It surprises her just how much the action did relax her, the feeling of stress no longer coursing through her body. “What are you doing here?” Jo finally asks now her breathing has returned to normal, turning in her seat slightly to look up at Alex.

Alex is about to reply with something snarky about her rigorous studying schedule but then he notices; the grey sweatshirt that engulfs her small frame, the one with their college logo fraying over the chest. He’d recognise it anywhere, with the raggedy hemline against the wrists and the small patch of white paint he’d stained it with when he helped his mom paint the shed in her backyard. It was his sweatshirt. Jo was wearing his sweatshirt. And he couldn’t explain the warm fuzzy feeling he felt after just one look at her at her snuggled inside of it. She looked so cosy—perfect, even. He wondered if he’d ever see anyone look just as good as she looked in this moment.

But, then again, she was constantly surprising him.

Ever since she first sat down next to him in their freshman year; her eyes big, lips pursed and rambling about something or another to herself. Alex had thought she was crazy; the way she ranted under her breath as if there really was someone else up in her head conversing back to her. But then, once she spotted him staring, her ranting turned to babbling as she tried to explain herself. And in an instant, he no longer thought she was crazy, he thought she was cute and funny, OK, and maybe a little crazy—but that was part of her charm.

They had been friends ever since, really good friends.

Just friends.

“Is this mine?” He plasters on his crooked smirk, hiding the warm feeling he felt after noticing, as he uses his thumb and forefinger to pinch at the material and pull her a little closer.

She leans into him with a giggle, her dainty shoulder bumping against his broad, “stooop.” She drags, trying to fight the curl of her lips as he continues to tease her with pokes to her stomach. She’s attempting to get back into the reading she momentarily gave up on, picking up a pen which was closer to her than the one she angrily threw earlier. But he doesn’t relent, forcing her to swivel on her seat and look him dead in his amused brown eyes. “I forgot to bring clothes when I crashed at your place last night,” she informs with a shove to his arm, “I would have headed back to my apartment but my landlord called, the plumber was over there—finally fixing the damn pipes.”

Jo swears she sees Alex’s shoulders deflate at her words, and she can’t pinpoint exactly why he would be disappointed about finally getting her out of his hair. Despite the fact that Alex’s apartment was tiny, practically the size of the car she lived in back in high school, the place never felt cramped when it was just the two of them. There were times that they were probably a little too close for comfort, heat rising into the small area, but even if Alex minded her showing up with a single duffel bag and an apologetic smile—he never complained, not once.

Alex laughs lightly, “it’s cool, it looks better on you anyway.”

“Shut up.” Jo scoffs, deflecting the compliment. Something Alex noticed Jo did a lot, if not every single time someone attempts to say something nice to her. “So,” she pushes the conversation along, “you don’t have to worry about me showing up anymore.”

He shrugs, “I like the company.” Jo tilts her head to the side, eyes scanning his face—trying to find something, anything, that would give her a sign as to what that meant. What it meant coming from him. A sign. Something. “Oh!” He exclaims, shooting an apologetic glance over to the security guard, before his hands reach down the bag pack he discarded onto the floor upon his arrival, “I got you something.” He tells her with a smile and a glimmer in his eyes, hands fishing into the bag.

“For me?” Jo’s eyes widen in excitement as she grins widely. A giggle escapes her lips when he produces two bottle of beers and a bottle opener, popping the caps off when he sees the small excitement in her face. He loved that about, Jo. She appreciated the simple stuff—the stuff he appreciated, they enjoyed together. “You shouldn’t have,” Jo murmurs with a smile, hitting her bottle against Alex’s once he’s passed hers over, keeping the bottle below the table—out of the guards’ sight.

“I have a proposition for you.” He states, swigging the beer.

Jo’s eyebrows raise inquisitively, “mmhmm, what’s that?” Brown eyes widening as Alex leans in closer towards her, placing a bookmark on the open page of her book before slamming the thing shut. “Alex—”

“Let’s get out of here.” It’s not really a question, more like a polite order. “You need a break.”

With a huff, Jo rakes her eyes over the mess of open books, sighing at the sight before her. Jo shakes her head, turning back to Alex, “you should be studying, too. We have five days until we take the biggest test of our lives, Alex. Our entire future is counting—”

“Stop.” Alex groans, grabbing the small woman by her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eyes. His crooked smirk never fades from his lips, doesn’t even falter. “You need a break.” He repeats, his voice almost stern.

Knowing that this wasn’t an argument she was about to win, Jo sets down the beer and picks up the misplaced pens, chucking them into the blue pencil case she’s been carrying around since he met her. Alex’s smirk turns into a proud grin as he watches her pack up her things, closing book after book.

He stands up, helping her gather her things and piles up books so he can take them back to their rightful place for her. It takes him three trips but when she murmurs a quiet thank you, raising a soft hand to stroke down his arm, he really doesn’t mind.

Once they’re done, her bag is filled and his hands are clutching at two cold beers whilst they walk out of the library, Jo bidding a sweet farewell to the unimpressed security guard, a thought crosses his mind. “You know,” he begins, watching as Jo’s brows raise in his direction and her hand comes to snatch back the cool beer, “once this is finally over, I’m taking you out for dinner.”

Jo grins, “a fancy bistro or a penthouse bar looking over New York’s skyline?” The glimmer in her eyes as they continue to walk in the direction of his apartment without even a spoken word regarding the matter, tells him she’s teasing.

“Private jet to Milan, actually.”

“How about …” Jo chuckles, bumping shoulders with Alex, tucking her small frame against his larger, “we eat fried chicken in the car like we were raised to do.”

“Sounds perfect.” He wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer as they round the corner onto the street of his apartment.

The next time they see one another, out of the classroom, she’s worming her way through the crowded bar they had agreed to meet at. Jo’s eyes are scanning across the people as her once cool skin heats up, in search of him. Fingers fumble to unbutton her thick coat within the mass of people, not wanting to accidentally elbow someone in the back—she sees him.

Alex is there, with a wide grin on his face and a bottle of his usual beer in hand. He’s laughing along to something one of there classmates have said before his eyes land on her, and if possible, his smile widens and sparkling white teeth blind her. He pauses his conversation, moving towards her and grabbing her by the hand to pull her through the crowd at a faster pace. He was glad to finally see her.

“Congratulations!” Jo exclaims to Alex and the rest of their classmates once they reach their corner of the bar, all of them cheer and offer her their own congratulations at the sight of her. She smiles up at Alex, before her hands finally move back to the one button she was yet to undo, snapping the coat open she shrugs it off her shoulders and places it across her forearm.

Alex is turned towards the bar, requesting another beer for Jo as she does so but when he turns back—his mouth goes dry. He’d never seen Jo dressed like that. The figure hugging little black dress hugged her curves perfectly, lifting and contouring her cleavage. He thought, though he kept it to himself, she looked absolutely perfect. But before he could be subject to both Jo’s and their classmates lame jokes about his drooling, he shakes his head—ignoring the feelings that rushed over him at just the sight of her. Pleased for the moment of distraction as he exchanges his cash for a beer and hands it over to the petite brunette, full lips offering him a tight smile in thanks.

Yes, he’d always thought Jo was pretty. Beautiful, even. When she was dressed in a sweatshirt or just a cardigan, even a simple t-shirt—she always managed to look utterly perfect. At least, to him she did. He’d heard her wining about bad skin and greasy hair, but he’d never seen the faults that she could see.

As they’re standing there, celebrating the end of an era, Jo begins to reminisce on how they got here …

She thinks about how she had met Alex during their first year of law school at NYU. Unlike most law students, who come straight from college when they can think of nothing better to do with their stellar undergrad transcripts, Alex Karev was older, with real-life experience. He had worked as an analyst at Goldman Sachs, which blew away Jo’s nine-to-five summer internships and office jobs filing and answering phones. He was confident, relaxed, and so gorgeous that it was hard not to stare at him. Sure enough, they were barely into their first week of class when the buzz over Alex began, women speculating about his status, noting either that his left ring finger was unadorned or, alternatively, worrying that he was too well dressed and handsome to be straight. But Jo dismissed Alex straightaway, because she thought that he thought she was crazy, convincing herself that his outward perfection was boring. Which was a fortunate stance because she also knew that he was out of her league. (She hated that expression and the presumption that people choose friends based so heavily upon looks, but it is hard to deny the principle when you look around—partners generally share the same level of attractiveness, and when they do not, it is noteworthy.) Besides, she wasn’t borrowing thirty thousand dollars a year so that she could find a boyfriend.

As a matter of fact, she probably would have gone three years without talking to him, but they randomly ended up next to each other in a significantly small seating-chart class taught by the sardonic Professor Zisman. Although many professors at NYU used the Socratic method, only Zisman used it as a tool to humiliate and torture students. Alex and Jo bonded in their hatred of the mean-spirited professor. Jo feared Zisman to an irrational extreme, whereas Alex’s reaction had more to do with disgust. “What an asshole,” he would growl after class, often after Zisman had reduced a fellow classmate to tears. “I just want to wipe that smirk off the jerks face.” Gradually, their grumbling turned into longer talks over coffee in the student lounge or during walks around Washington Square Park. They began to study together in the hour before class, preparing for the inevitable—the day Zisman would call on them. Jo dreaded her turn, knowing that it would be a bloody massacre, but secretly couldn’t wait for Alex to be called on. Zisman preyed on the weak and flustered, and Alex was neither. Jo was sure that he wouldn’t go down without a fight. She remembers it well.  

Zisman stood behind his podium, examining his seating chart, a schematic with their faces cut from the first-year look book, practically salivating as he picked his prey. He peered over his small, round glasses (the kind that should be called spectacles) in the pair’s general direction, and said, “Mr. Karev.”

He pronounced Alex’s name wrong, making it sound more similar to “carve.” “It’s Ka-rev,’” Alex said, unflinching.  Jo inhaled sharply; nobody corrected Zisman. Alex was really going to get it now.

“Well, pardon me, Mr. Ka-rev,” Zisman said, with an insincere little bow. “Palsgraf versus Long Island Railroad Company.”

Alex sat calmly with his book closed while the rest of the class nervously flipped to the case, we had been assigned to read the night before.

The case involved a railroad accident. While rushing to board a train, a railroad employee knocked a package of dynamite out of a passenger’s hand, causing injury to another passenger, Mrs. Palsgraf. Justice Cardozo, writing for the majority, held that Mrs. Palsgraf was not a “foreseeable plaintiff” and, as such, could not recover from the railroad company. Perhaps the railroad employees should have foreseen harm to the package holder, the Court explained, but not harm to Mrs. Palsgraf. “Should the plaintiff have been allowed recovery?” Zisman asked Alex.

Alex said nothing. For a brief second Jo panicked that he had frozen, like others before him. Say no, she thought, sending him fierce brain waves. Go with the majority holding. But when she looked at his expression, and the way his arms were folded across his chest, Jo could tell that he was only taking his time, in marked contrast to the way most first-year students blurted out quick, nervous, untenable answers as if reaction time could compensate for understanding. “In my opinion?” Alex asked.

“I am addressing you, Mr. Karev. So, yes, I am asking for your opinion.” The teacher groaned, rolling his eyes. “I would have to say yes, the plaintiff should have been allowed recovery. I agree with Justice Andrew’s dissent.”

“Ohhhh, really?” Zisman’s voice was high and nasal. “Yes. Really.” Jo was surprised by his answer, as he had told her just before class that he didn’t realize crack cocaine had been around in 1928, but Justice Andrews surely must have been smoking it when he wrote his dissent. She was even more surprised by Alex’s brazen “really” tagged onto the end of his answer, as though to taunt Zisman. Zisman’s scrawny chest swelled visibly. “So you think that the guard should have foreseen that the innocuous package measuring fifteen inches in length, covered with a newspaper, contained explosives and would cause injury to the plaintiff?” “It was certainly a possibility.” “Should he have foreseen that the package could cause injury to anybody in the world?” Zisman asked, with mounting sarcasm. “I didn’t say ‘anybody in the world.’ I said, ‘the plaintiff.’ Mrs. Palsgraf, in my opinion, was in the danger zone.” Zisman approached our row with ramrod posture and tossed his Wall Street Journal onto Alex’s closed textbook. “Care to return my newspaper?” “I’d prefer not to,” Alex stated, unflinching. The shock in the room was palpable. The rest of the class would have simply played along and returned the paper, mere props in Zisman’s questioning. “You’d prefer not to?” Zisman cocked his head. “That’s correct. There could be dynamite wrapped inside it.” Half of the class gasped; the other half snickered. Clearly, Zisman had some tactic up his sleeve, some way of turning the facts around on Alex. But Alex wasn’t falling for it. Zisman was visibly frustrated. “Well, let’s suppose you did choose to return it to me, and it did contain a stick of dynamite and it did cause injury to your person. Then what, Mr. Thaler?”

“Then I would sue you, and likely I would win.”

“And would that recovery be consistent with Judge Cardozo’s rationale in the majority holding?”

“No. It would not.” “Oh, really? And why not?” “Because I’d sue you for an intentional tort, and Cardozo was talking about negligence, was he not?” Alex raised his voice to match Zisman’s. Jo thinks she stopped breathing as Zisman pressed his palms together and brought them neatly against his chest as though he were praying. “I ask the questions in this classroom. If that’s all right with you, Mr. Thaler?” Alex shrugged as if to say, have it your way, makes no difference to me.

“Well, let’s suppose that I accidentally dropped my paper onto your desk, and you returned it and were injured. Would Mr. Cardozo allow you full recovery?” “Sure.” And at the end of the hour, Zisman actually said, “Very good, Mr. Thaler.” It was a first.  

The pair had left class feeling jubilant. Alex had prevailed for all of them. The story spread throughout the first-year class, earning him more points with the girls, who had long since determined that he was totally available.

Jo had found herself telling Izzie the story as well. Izzie had moved to New York at about the same time Jo did, only under vastly different circumstances. Jo was there to become a lawyer; she came without a job, or a plan, or much money. Jo let her sleep on a futon in my dorm room until she found some roommates—three American Airlines flight attendants looking to squeeze a fourth body into their heavily partitioned studio. She borrowed money from her parents to make the rent while she looked for a job, finally settling on a bartending position at the Monkey Bar. For the first time in their friendship, Jo was happy with her life in comparison to hers. Well, she was still poorer, but at least she had a plan. Izzie’s prospects didn’t seem great with only a 2.9 GPA from Indiana University. “You’re so lucky,” Izzie would whine as Jo tried to study. Really, after years of living in her car, growing up parentless, really? Luck is buying a lottery ticket along with your Yoo-hoo and striking it rich. Nothing about Jo’s life is lucky—it’s all about hard work, it is all an uphill struggle. But of course, she never said that. Just told her that things would soon turn around for her. And sure enough, they did. About two weeks later a man waltzed into the Monkey Bar, ordered a whiskey sour, and began to chat Izzie up. By the time he finished his drink, he had promised her a job at one of Manhattan’s top PR firms. He told her to come in for an interview, but that he would (wink, wink) make sure that she got the job. Izzie took his business card, had Jo revise her résumé, went in for the interview, and got an offer on the spot. Her starting salary was seventy thousand dollars. Plus, an expense account. Practically what Jo would make if she did well enough in school to get a job with a New York firm. So while Jo sweated it out and racked up debt, Izzie began her glamorous PR career. She planned parties, promoted the season’s latest fashion trends, got plenty of free everything, and dated a string of beautiful men. Within seven months, she left the flight attendants in the dust and moved in with her co-worker Reed, a snobbish, well-connected girl from Greenwich. Izzie tried to include Jo in her fast-track life, although she seldom had time to go to her events or her parties or her blind-date setups with guys she swore were “total-hotties” but that Jo knew were simply Izzie’s castoffs. Which brings her back to Alex. Jo raved about him to Izzie and Reed, told them how unbelievable he was—smart, handsome, funny. In retrospect she’s not sure why she did it. In part because it was true. But perhaps she was a little jealous of their glamorous life and wanted to juice her own up a bit. Alex was the best thing in her arsenal. “So why don’t you like him?” Izzie would ask. “He’s not my type,” she’d say. “We’re just friends.” Which was the truth. Sure, there were moments when Jo felt a flicker of interest or a quickening of her pulse as she sat near Alex. Especially once they became friends and ended up spending almost all their time with one another. Jo was only glad that by the time Jo was spending nights at Alex’s place she had dropped it. Jo had tried to remain vigilant as not to fall for him, always reminding herself that guys like Alex only date girls like Izzie.

But then came the way Alex’s hand would softly find the small of her back as they were walking, and the way his hooded gaze would meet hers after a few drinks at the bar, and then his muscular arms would wrap around her after a study breakthrough and all of the work she had put in to not falling for him … evaporated. She was completely and utterly hopeless.

Izzie was the first to notice the change in Jo’s feelings. As they were lying on the blonde’s couch and she had absentmindedly mentioned him to Jo, and the brunette sat up straighter and a blush painted her cheeks and she began to stutter out her words … Izzie screamed gleefully, teasing Jo to begin with but ultimately telling her best friend to go for it. But that had been a while ago now, and although Izzie mentioned Jo’s feelings for Alex in passing on occasion, it was mostly pushed to the back of their minds. Izzie was still very much aware, though. She proved that much when she teased Jo with a wink and a smirk at every mention of the older man’s name.

And despite Jo’s closeness with both Alex and Izzie—it wouldn’t be until tonight, now law school was over, that the pair would finally meet. About one hour had passed since Jo had shown up and she and Alex had found a free booth in the back of the bar to slip into, most of their classmates already moving on to the next bar whilst a few stayed behind but hung out on the stools nearer to the entrance.

“You know,” Alex quirks up an eyebrow at Jo, “you’re gonna’ have to finally relax now you have to stop worrying about schoolwork.” He remarks with a teasing smile.

Jo giggles, “now I just need to worry about finding a job.”

“Well, at least take a night off.” Alex rolls his eyes, letting out a laugh of his own. “I want us to have fun, tequila shots and vodka sodas on me. What do you say?”

Jo pretends to mull it over for a second, although she knows that Alex is very certain that she’ll say yes. “OK.” Jo states, leaning in closer to Alex, her breath dancing across his neck as she whispers, “but you need to make sure I end up back at my place tonight.”

Alex’s gaze finds hers and he nods, “I’m on Jo duty, got it.” She raises a hand between them offering him a handshake, and his eyes cut from her to her dainty hand, he clutches it before giving her a firm shake. He found himself quite enjoying the feel of her soft small fingers in his, and when she pulls it out of his grasp—he misses her touch. “I don’t mind keeping my eyes on you,” he flirts but it’s lost on Jo, whose completely convinced he only tried to make her blush and tease her, as she scoffs and playfully hits his arm as he slides out of the booth.

Jo is only sat alone for a moment of two before she hears the shrill screech of Izzie’s voice, “I’m hereee!” The blonde runs up to the booth, shimmying into the seat and flopping her purse down onto the table with an exclaimed huff before flipping her long blonde hair behind her shoulders. Her eyes are scanning the rest of the bar, barely paying attention to the friend she had come here specifically to celebrate with, before muttering,  “oh god, of course you’re the one sat alone in the dark corner—”

Jo cuts her off, sighing before she begins to explain she wasn’t alone, “actually—”

“I need to get drunk.” Izzie interrupts with a deep sigh before venturing off into a mini rant, “I’ve had such an awful day, running around after my boss and urgh—this client asked me to run and get him coffee, plus, I’m almost certain that the stress is the reason my hair is falling so flat on my head right now.” Izzie huffs in one single breath, fiddling with one strand of perfectly curled golden hair. “Oh crap,” her eyes widen, “how was your test thingy?”

Jo raises her eyebrows for a millisecond but chooses to ignore the comment—as if passing the bar was just another test. Like their high school math SAT which Izzie almost didn’t even bother to attend. Instead of complaining, she smiles and nods, “it went great, I’m confident—”

“Fuck!” Izzie’s voice cuts her off again.

At that moment Alex sauntered over to the booth with a tray full of drinks for him and Jo, which she now suspected she’ll be sharing with Izzie. As soon as he joins them, his eyes flick to the blonde and as if on instinct, Jo introduced him to Izzie, and she turned on the charm, giggling and playing with her hair and nodding emphatically whenever he said anything. Alex was pleasant to her but didn’t seem overly interested and, at one point, as she was dropping Goldman names—do you know this guy or that guy?—Alex actually appeared to be suppressing a yawn.  

Seemingly, this went unnoticed by Izzie—although she seemed mildly miffed with Jo when the brunette was responding to her instead of Alex. But she thought she was saving her friends from an awkward interaction.

“Do you want another drink?” Alex turns his attention to Jo, noticing her almost empty glass. She wonders if this is just an excuse to get away or if he wanted another himself, she couldn’t tell how far along he was through the dark coloured beer bottle.

“So, when you gonna’ grow a pair and ask Jo out on a real date?” “I am sick of hearing about study sessions and nights out and blah blah blah …”

“Iz—” Jo begins, stopping herself as her mouth begins to go dry with embarrassment. “I mean, he—you don’t have to … we don’t—we are just friends.” She stutters over her words, feeling a fresh deep red blush crawl up her chest and her neck and then her cheeks under both Alex and Izzie’s stares. Izzie’s eyebrow is quirked up, lips curled into a tight smirk, watching Jo’s flustered state. Whilst Alex looks more taken aback; his lips are parted, a small frown on his face and he almost looks as if he’s about to begin protesting before Izzie begins to giggle.

Both of their eyes snap in her direction as she continues laughing before, at a flip of a switch, the blondes face turns serious. There’s a slight glimmer in her eyes as she asks, “well, then when are you going to ask me on a date?”

Alex’s eyebrows almost shoot to his hair line, clearly surprised by Izzie’s forwardness. His eyes leave Jo’s and he’s uncomfortably chuckling at Izzie, his fingers fumbling with the paper that wrapped around his still cool beer.

Jo’s throat turns dry; her heart dropping and her once joyful demeanour has turned sour. It sounded selfish, but they were supposed to be out celebrating her. Her and Alex. But Izzie didn’t know Alex, she only came here for Jo. And Izzie knew, even if Jo tried to deny it, Izzie knew very well that Jo had feelings for Alex. She’d told her that much—every time Jo went into denial; Izzie would state again and again that she knows Jo better than herself and she knows Jo has a huge thing for Alex.

So, why was she sat here, on Jo’s night, basically asking Alex on a date?

“You can take me to this penthouse bar I’ve seen,” she tells him, confidently, lifting up her glass and seductively placing her straw between her lips with a coy smile, “overlooking the skyline, very classy.”

Jo lets out a breathy laugh, before excusing herself, feeling as if she won’t be able to hide her disdain any longer, “I need to use the bathroom.” She tells them both, shimmying out of the booth as Alex gets up to make way for her to leave. His brown eyes watch her retreating form, unable to tear themselves away.

As Jo takes a breather in the ladies’ room, she wonders if she could even be hurt with Izzie at all. Like she said, she had denied having feelings for Alex over and over. And it’s not like she stated a claim on him, he wasn’t hers. Yes, he was her closest friend in college and other than Jackson, he was easily her biggest confidant. They bonded over shared hatred for teachers and classes, and similar upbringings. She had always felt like they shared something, since that first-class years ago. He wasn’t hers—and it was selfish of her to decide in her own mind that he couldn’t be Izzie’s either.

It wasn’t her place. When she worms her way back to the booth, she’s almost stopped in her tracks as she hears the sound of Alex’s gruff voice next to Izzie’s loud and obnoxious laughter. But with a deep breath, Jo powers ahead and moves to stand directly in front of the booth. “I’m going to head home,” she tells them, offering her best fake smile, “I’m pretty tired—big day an’ all.”

“I’ll walk you home!” Alex offers, almost jumping from his seat to catch her wrist in his hands. Neither of them noticing Izzie’s burning gaze on the friendly interaction.

“No, no—it’s fine.” Jo places her free hand on top of Alex’s, gently telling him to let go. “I’ll catch a cab.” She lies. Knowing she’ll end up walking back to her place, needing the fresh air and the time to think.

He’s concerned as he presses, “are you sure?”

Offering Izzie a tight-lipped smile and Alex a shake of her head, brushing his concern off, “certain.” With that, the pair both nod—Izzie more eager than Alex to be left alone, the blonde shoots Jo a wink as a way of saying thank you but Jo chooses not to acknowledge it, she knows Izzie won’t remember come morning.  

As she steps out into the cool air, a wave of emotion sets on her and if there wasn’t so many people lingering on the street lined full of bars, she thinks fresh tears would fall down her face. But then she’d be the pathetic one who was crying over some boy who wasn’t even her boyfriend. Or was she crying over the betrayal of her friend. Was it even a betrayal?

“Jo!” The familiar sound of Alex’s voice shouts from behind her, stopping in her tracks and silently thanking herself for choosing not to cry, “are you ok?” He asks sincerely as she spins on her heel, turning to face him and plaster on that well-rehearsed fake grin.

In that moment, she thinks pretending that she has no idea what he was insinuating, “ … with?”

“Well,” he lifts a thumb to gesture back to the bar, “with this?”

She can’t believe her faux smile can grow any bigger, but it does, “yes—of course! Yeh, Izzie’s great,” Jo begins to nod profusely, “you never know where it might lead, right?”

“Erm,” Alex begins, eyes glistening against the streetlights before he lets out an un-convinced huff, “yeah.”

“Cool, so, good night.”

“Good night.”

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 74: 10 Short Films about 1-A

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

“What’re you watching, dork?”

Toshi looked up from his desk to see his sister, Hana, standing in the doorway.  “Oh, just a video Shota sent over.  He wanted to know what I thought.  It’s Sequoia Rose and Kestrel fighting some of the Sons of Stain… Looks like they were planning some kind of raid on the local Agencies before they routed them out.”

It was a pretty impressive fight.  But the Sons of Stain were no joke; they were followers of the late Hero Killer, who still believed Hero Society was corrupt and worked to bring it down.  There was something very satisfying about seeing them get beaten.

Hana rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you can just watch all that stuff in your free time.  Dad’s a Hero.  Mom’s a Hero. More than half the adults we know are Heroes.  You’re studying to be a Hero and so are all your friends!  Don’t you get tired of it?”

“No?” he tried. “It’s just all… so cool!  Besides, Rose and Kestrel are still pretty young!  There’s a good chance I might get to work with them someday, so it helps to know about…” She rolled her eyes again and Toshi trailed off.

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“You know,” he said, “just because you pretend you’re too cool for this kind of stuff doesn’t make you cool.  We used to watch videos together with Dad!  You used to run around in a Froppy onesie!”

Hana looked him dead in the eyes.  “Meh.” He actually felt a chill go down his spine, but pressed on.  

“Oh, come on!  You wanted to be a Hero when you were little! What changed, Hanners?  Your Quirk’s way stronger than Grandma’s! It’d be perfect for Hero work!”

“Maybe I don’t want to spend my life beating people up, dork!  You ever think of that?” Hana looked annoyed.  He’d known for a while now her interest in Heroes or in being one had been waning, but her disinterest seemed to have picked up speed since she became a teenager.  She did want to be a doctor, which was still helping people, but…

“But you could be a Rescue Hero, like Mom!  Or a Medical Hero, like Aunt Eri!  Your Quirk would be great for that!  You could move rubble or people, maybe even help with injuries....”

Hana pointed at him and he felt a slight shove in his chest, nearly knocking him out of his chair.   “Tosh,” she said. “Let it go.  Not everybody wants that life.”

“Even with a punch like that…” Toshi began, but the fire in her eyes silenced him.  “Okay, okay.  I’ll let it go.”   He smiled. “You know we’ll all be proud of you, no matter what you do, right?”

There was another eyeroll.  “Could you be any sappier?  I’m surprised you aren’t crying.”

“I don’t cry that much!”

“Suuuure….”

“But you know, though,” he said, “Aunt Eri and Katsuma got through med school way faster with way less debt…”

***

“You’re what?” Katsumi growled, staring at Dad.

Dad looked up from where he was packing his suitcase.  “Going to the Training Camp,” he said.  “The other teachers think it’ll be a good idea if I go and get an idea of what you kids can do.”

She threw up her hands in irritation.  “And you were planning on telling me this when?”

He shrugged.  “Didn’t find out until a couple days ago.”   He’d been commuting back and forth to U.A. a lot lately, getting things set up so he could start teaching the next term.  She still wasn’t sure how she felt about that or how she felt about having him around and in her space that often.  “And I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Scratch that.  She was relieved to still have him around after his injuries.  But she still wasn’t sure how she felt about him being their teacher.  Aunt Itsuka was a homeroom teacher, not a subject teacher, so it probably wasn’t as bad for Kana as this would be, but maybe she’d talk to her and see how she dealt with it.

She crossed her arms. “So you’re leaving Tai alone with Papa to eat take out the whole time we’re gone?”

He gave her a look. “I’m not that dumb.  Tsukushi’s given them a standing invitation to dinner while we’re gone.  She’ll make sure they’re fed.”  

Leaving Papa and her little brother to the Monomas?  Dad was desperate.   Well, Papa and Tsukushi got along.  And Tai loved Takeru.  It was really only Dad and the elder Monoma who fought, usually over stupid stuff like hedges and an ever escalating “niceness” war that probably wouldn’t end even when they moved.

“Don’t worry,” Dad said. “I’ll give you your space.  I’m not going to be looking over your shoulder the whole time or anything.”

She held his gaze, then shrugged.  It wasn’t like she had anything to hide anyway.  It was just the principle of the thing.  “Yeah, all right.”

He grinned after that. “Don’t think I’m going to go easy on any of you, though.”

“Wasn’t asking you to.”

“Not even Izumi.”

The words caught in her throat.  She could handle All Might pushing them.  His jocular demeanor meant that even when he was driving them the hardest, it was hard to get mad at him.  Even Aizawa’s pushing was a serious, focused thing.

Dad would push as hard of any of them, probably harder.  It was, she admitted, what they all needed, how nuts things were right now.  He’d force them to go beyond their limits, because he knew no other way.

Could she handle seeing her best friend pushed like that?  She’d been trying hard to let Izzy face her own challenges and not step in immediately to protect her.  Even since the Sports Festival, she’d been more acutely aware of how Izzy could take care of herself.  Dad knew that about her.

“She’ll appreciate that.” She’d have to try and do the same.

***

KA-BOOM!

The device exploded, leaving a large scorch mark on the opposite wall of the testing range.  Automated systems activated, with arms extending from the wall and spaying fire-suppressant foam over the flames. Later, a cleaning robot would emerge and take care of the mess.

Flipping up her protective mask, Mother let out a laugh.  “Aw, I thought for sure that baby was going to work!  But didja see the size of that explosion!  Wowee!”

Sora joined her in the laugh.  “Most spectacular!” she agreed.  “Perhaps we should adjust the fuel to power ratio by twenty-percent for the next version?”

Her brother shook his head. “If we are intended to make a rocket-propelled gauntlet for our costumes, then we will require sufficient force to do any damage.  Better to reinforce the material to survive the forces involved.”

He was incorrect about that. “Material strength will only go so far,” she told him.  “And reinforcing the material will add additional weight, which will diminish speed.”

The incorrectness persisted. “Incorrect,” he said.  “The advancements being made with lightweight alloys should prove sufficient to…”

Both of them frowned, then turned to face Mother.  At the same time, they began, “Mother tell him/her that I am correct!”

Mother let out another laugh.  “Babies, babies, babies,” she said.  “I think it’s adorable when you have a science fight.  And as much I’d love to weigh in on this one…”   The clock on her design desk chirped with an alarm.  It was loud, shrill, and impossible to ignore.   Father had insisted on her having one like that.  It would even trigger back-up alarms if not silenced with the correct passcode.  It was ultimately necessary to allow Mother proper time-keeping.

She silenced the alarm. “I promised your father I would have you both in one place so he could talk to you.”

At that, the door to the lab snapped open and Father walked in.  He had his projector laptop under one arm.  Sora looked at Tensei nervously.  It was rarely a good sign when he brought that out.  It would mean he had a topic for discussion that he considered important enough to require slides.  

Father regarded them seriously and set his laptop up.  He pushed his glasses up his nose.  “As you know, you will be leaving on Monday for the two week Training Camp.  While I trust Aizawa and your other chaperones to maintain order, I also still remember the third year camp my own class undertook.   Denki and Kyoka were somehow able to sneak away to go skinny-dipping.  The resultant pregnancy scare that resulted a few weeks later is not something I wish to see repeated with either of you or your class.”

Tensei brought a hand up.  “Father, seeing as how Takuma and I are both male, that would be a highly unlikely outcome, should we choose to engage in such behavior.”  He went a bit red.  “Even though we will not.  May I be excused from this discussion?  It seems as though it would be better focused on Sora.”

The traitor!  She made a mental note to hide his soldering kit later.

Mother, however, just shook her head.  “Let him have this.  He spent all of his last day off making these slides.  I tried to distract him, but he resisted my feminine wiles.”

“Mei!” Father erupted. “That is not an appropriate thing to say!”

“I thought it tied right in, Tenny.”

Father went a bit red, as he often did when Mother teased him.  “Regardless,” he said, “as you are both now in relationships, I feel this next stage of talks to be highly necessary.”

The presentation projected from the laptop’s holograph lens began with Relationships: How to Make Smart Decisions That Will Ensure a Successful Future for You and Your Partner.  Looking carefully, she could see the slide was numbered as one of one hundred fifty.

It was going to be one of those presentations then. Father certainly did love to lecture. Takuma, she understood, but how could he not trust Toshi?

“Perhaps we should be taking notes?” Sora ventured.  “But I believe I left pen and paper in my room.  I should go and get them!”

“As should I!” Tensei agreed quickly.  

Father seemed to be searching their faces for signs of deception, but nodded.  “Very well,” he said.  “Ten minutes, then we will begin!”

More than enough time. She ran out of the lab as fast as her legs would carry her, Tensei hot on her heels.  

***

Carefully, Kimiko closed her suitcase.  She had enough clothes to get her through the Training Camp and a few of the medical textbooks Doctor Izumi had provided her with.  According to Doctor Izumi, since she was progressing well with her studies, she’d be able to receive additional medical training at the camp.  The studying was often long and arduous and cut into her gossip-wrangling time, but she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also rewarding.  It was an application of her Quirk that didn’t involve sneaking around, didn’t make being invisible the be-all and end all of what she was.

There was a knock on her door.  “Come in, Daddy,” she said.

Her door slid open as Daddy padded inside.  He smiled. “How’d you know it was me, ‘miko?” As always, he was able to look her right in the eyes, something almost no one else could.  Even Kenta had trouble with it sometimes.

“Pretty distinctive knock,” she told him.

Daddy smiled again. “You’re getting good at observing,” he said.  He nodded towards the shelf where some of her medical books still were.  “You’re getting good at lots of things.”

“Oh, Daddy,” she said. “You’re going to make me blush!”

He chuckled at that. “You’ve got everything you need? Sunscreen?  Extra changes of clothes?  Reflectors?”

“Yes, yes, yes, …wait, no!”   Kimiko ran to her dresser and pulled out her reflective headband, armbands, and gloves.  They were useful when she was going places in the dark, otherwise it was very hard to see just her clothing.  They stood out when she couldn’t.

She stashed them in her suitcase.  “Whew! You’re a lifesaver, Daddy!”   She threw her arms around him in a hug.

“Offf!”  Daddy grunted, returning the hug.  “I still need to breathe, ‘miko!”

She let go, but gave him an affectionate punch on the arm.  “Oh, Daddy!”

“Smart, pretty as your mother, and a heck of a right hook,” Daddy said, beaming.  “No wonder you’re going to make a great Hero.”

“Daaaaaddy!” she wailed, arms flailing.  “You’re too much!”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

He always did believe in her.  When she’d told her parents she wanted to be a Medical Hero, get her paramedic’s license, they’d both been supportive, but Mom had been more cautious, telling her about all the hard work that would be involved.  But Daddy, Daddy had immediately thrown his full support behind her.

She gave him another hug. “Thank you.”

After the hug, he crossed his arms.  “Now, you’re going to behave yourself on this trip?”

“Of course, Daddy!”

“You’re going to pay attention to Aizawa and the other teachers?”

“Of course, Daddy!”

“Not going to hit your friends too much?”

“…I’ll try, Daddy!”

“Not going to spend the whole time shipping your classmates and friends?  Or trying to arrange a ‘summer romance?’”

“…I’m only human, Daddy.”

“’miko…” he began, a chastising tone in his voice.

“Fine,” she said, stomping her foot.  “I’ll try and keep it to a minimum.”

“That’s all I ask.”

***

Shopping in the upscale boutique, Takiyo reached for the designer shirt. Another hand did so at the same time. Wrapping his glowing fingers around one side of the hanger, he tried to take it.  But the other hand, ending in sharp looking claws, wrapped around the other side and tugged too.

He looked to his right and shot them a glare, finding a boy his age, with a mane of purple hair and a feline-ish cast to his face.  He was very pretty, with a style that suggested the kind of trying too hard to look like he wasn’t trying hard to look that good. “Pardon,” Takiyo said, “I had it first.”

“Oh, please,” the boy said.  “I saw it first.  It’ll look better on me anyway.”

Takiyo wondered if he could distract the boy by using his Quirk like a laser-pointer, but he doubted he was cat-like enough for that.  “There must be something wrong with your eyes if you think that’s true.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he said, his yellow, vertically-pupiled eyes moving quickly.  He tapped a finger against his chin. “U.A. student, right? First year?  I do remember seeing a glowing boy during the Sports Festival.”

Takiyo’s thoughts darkened at that.  He hadn’t stood out nearly as much as he would have liked and he was certain he’d only ended up on an Internship with Cellophane because the class’s parents had arranged for no one to be left out.  Still, if he had made enough of an impression for someone else to remember, even someone infuriating…

He put his free hand on his hip.  “If you remember me, then you should remember how stunning I am.”  He almost regretted his words.  He had told Koda he was trying to be nicer to people.  She would be disappointed in him and he hated to think of that.  He could already see her disappointed face in his mind…

The boy shook his head, sending his mane waving in what had to be a practiced motion.  “You keep telling yourself that.”  He snapped his fingers, then licked his lips. “Now the boy who took first… that’s a different story.  Though my friend was rather partial to the girl who took second.  But nobody was talking about you, honey.”

Neither of them had let go of the shirt in the meantime.  It was the last one left in that color and style and he was not backing down.  “Regardless,” Takiyo said, “none of it changes the fact that I had my hand on this first.  It’s mine.”

The cat-boy laughed, but did release his grip on the shirt.  “I suppose it’s the duty of the pretty to do everything they can to help the less fortunate.  And you, my friend, need a lot of help.”

Takiyo gritted his teeth, feeling his glow intensify for a moment.  “Must you be so infuriating?” he demanded.  

The boy laughed as he walked away.  “Oh, you’ll see just how infuriating I can be, honey.”

What did that mean?

***

“Up!  Up!”

Takuma looked down to see his little sister, Moji, tugging at his pant leg.  She looked a lot like a miniature version of Mom, with pinkish skin and horns, topped by dark, fluffy hair.  At only two, she didn’t have a Quirk yet, but he was sure it would be trouble, whatever it was.

With a grunt, he bent down and picked her up.  She wrapped her arms around him and he planted a kiss on top of her head, causing her to giggle.  “Did you come to see your favorite big brother? Or did you just want a snack?”

She gave this serious consideration.  “Snack!”

Takuma laughed and shifted her so he was only holding her with one arm.  “Okay, hang on, I think we’ve got goldfish crackers around here somewhere… Assuming Mom hasn’t eaten them all.”  At four months pregnant with twins (Or as Dad like to refer to them, “Players to be named later.”), Mom had developed a lot of cravings.

“Snack?” Moji repeated, more insistently.  She had a bit of a one track mind sometimes.

“I’m getting it,” Takuma told her, finding the small serving pouches.   He set her down, ripped the top off, and handed it to her.

“Snack!” Moji said again. “Thank you!” Her cravings satisfied, she walked off, leaving him alone in the kitchen.   She dodged around Mom as they passed each other in the doorway.

“Hard to believe you used to try and sell your brothers,” she said.

“In my defense, Kenta really wanted a brother.  He would have liked Yamato.”

“You’re not going to try and sell the twins, are you?”

He shook his head. “Nah.  I’ll be out of the house by the time they’re old enough to be trouble.”

“You will, won’t you?” Mom asked.  “Hard to believe you’re almost sixteen.  I must have done something right.  Tsu and Momo were so worried when I had you!  They were afraid I’d leave you at the park or something!  As if!  That only happened two times.”

“Three,” he corrected. “It was raining.”

“Meh, who’s counting.” She crossed the room and pulled a container of ice cream from the freezer.  Mom grabbed a spoon and proceeded to eat directly from it.   She gestured with her spoon.   “So how’s things going with you and Tensei?  Good?  Tell me it’s good.  In-Laws with the Iidas?  Mama’s gonna have a nice retirement!  You know, Training Camps are great for cementing relationships…”

Takuma felt himself flushing a deep purple.  “Nope, nope, nope, not having this conversation!”

Mom cackled at his discomfort.  “Oh, come on. You can’t possibly be traumatized by this.  Your dad and I have always been very frank about sex.”

Too frank, really. And with four siblings and two on the way, too often too.  “Nope, nope, can’t talk, gotta go upload my last video!”

Not entirely a lie; he wouldn’t be able to upload anything while at the camp.  Two weeks without external validation from strangers?  He was gonna die!

***

The Anivoice Agency was not a large organization, but the building was significant.  This was because the ground floor contained an animal rehabilitation center.  Most of the animals had been seized from trafficking operations.  Father was frequently called upon to rehabilitate the animals before they were returned to the wild.  

While there were employees charged with caring for the animals, Father also liked to spend time with them.  Akaya had many memories of helping and was accompanying him today.

They paused before a large enclosure holding a gigantic beast, combining the features of many animals. “How are you, Manny?” Father asked. “Feel like talking?  No?  Okay, let me know if you do…”

Manticore made a soft rumble.  He had been in Father’s care for ten years and was barely closer to regaining his humanity than he’d been the day he arrived.  Yet Father tried.  

Father turned to her. “Looking forward to the Camp?” With other people, Father often had trouble finding his words, but never with her or her mother and brother.

What could she tell him? That the words that had shattered her during her Internship still haunted her? That her classmates were all finding themselves in relationships, while no one had expressed any interest in her? That she was certain that no one would look upon her with romantic eyes?

“I am,” she said.  Not entirely a lie.  She could throw herself into being a Hero. And there would be plenty of time to spend with her friends.  It did not do to devote oneself entirely to romantic pursuits.  Father and Mother had not even begun dating until they had graduated.

She had time.  She could tell herself that.

“I’m glad.”  Father was also not one to push, preferring instead to simply listen.  

Her faith taught her honesty…

“I’m not,” she said. “I haven’t felt truly glad for a long time.”

“I know,” he said. “We were worried you would never tell us.”

“You knew?” she asked.

“You’re like me, easy to read,” he said.  “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“It began during my Internship.”  She told him all that had happened.

“I’m sorry you went through that,” he said. She could tell he was pushing down anger on her behalf. “The world’s filled with too many people filled with hate.  But love wins.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“It did for me.  For Grandma. For her father. Our skin is stone, but our heart still feels.  We’ve all felt it.  You’ve already braver than I was at your age.  Stronger too. I know someone will see you for the amazing person you are.”

“Would that I could be so certain.”

“It will get easier.  Someone will see you and just go ‘wow.’”

“Do you truly think so?”

“I know it.”

She wished she could believe it so easily.  Something about the way Father said it made it sound possible.  “Okay.”

For a moment, the world was all right.  Manticore cooed encouragingly.  “Thank you, Manny,” she said.

***

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” Daisuke said, sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea.  Mom sat across from him, likewise drinking tea, a nervous look upon her face.  Dad was at work.  

Mom was a tiny woman, dark-haired and serious.  She had an arm-stretching Quirk and had been a graduate of U.A.’s General Education program. She worked in finance, well away from the world of Heroes.  And she was worried.  It didn’t show on her face, but he could tell by the subtle way her teacup shook in her hands, the way her arms kept ever so slightly lengthening and then retracting to their normal length, the way she was blinking too much, her breaths quick and shallow.

“The first time your dad went away to a training camp,” Mom said, setting her cup down, he lost a hand, most of his classmates were injured, Bakugo was kidnapped, and Fumikage almost was too.”

“The hand…”

“And don’t say the hand grew back!”

“…Yes, Mom.”

Mom frowned.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just…  I’m not like Tsu or all the other spouses.  I’m not a Hero.  I worry enough about your dad when he’s out there.  Haru gets it, Mei a little, but… I remember how worried I was when the news broke about what happened at the Training Camp… I don’t think I slept a wink until he called.”

“It’s not going to be like that,” he told her.  “One, there’s no Villains after us.  Two, even if there were, Tokoyami’s Quirk isn’t like her dad’s and wouldn’t go berserk no matter what else happened.  And three, anyone who kidnapped Kirishima-Bakugo would return her within the hour.”  No offense meant to his explosive classmate, but she would be far more trouble to kidnap than anyone would want to deal with.

Mom frowned at that. “I know.  Just promise me you’ll be careful, all right?  Even with your teachers watching out for you, you’re going to be out in the middle of nowhere.  If somebody gets hurt…”

Mom worried a lot.  It was easy to forget sometimes, how many people didn’t have powerful Quirks, how many people weren’t Heroes.  At U.A., it was a bit of an insular bubble for his class, the children of so many Heroes who’d not only grown up as friends, but were all concentrated in one place.  People like his mom had to worry more about Villain attacks, about who would help if something went wrong, about who would get hurt.

His Quirk and his strength made him a frontline fighter and a brawler.  She would worry about him getting hurt no matter what.  But how could he not put his skills to use?  His Extendo-Arms might not have been as flashy as the majority of his classmates’ Quirks, but he had the right skills and the right Quirk to be the right person for someone who needed a Hero.  He didn’t seek fame or glory.  He just wanted to help.  It was enough.

“I promise, Mom,” he said.

***

“Can we have Mighty Burger for dinner?” Taki asked.  Asuka’s dark-haired younger brother was the only one in the family to look entirely human. Though the eleven year old’s shadow never quite seemed to match his movements.

“Yeah!” Nanami added. Her nine year old sister’s wings flapped furiously, though not quite enough to get her off the ground.  

“That would be good,” Asahi said.  Her frog-faced brother, all of thirteen, had not picked up the moodiness that some teens seemed to.  If anything, he was too well-behaved.

With Mom at sea and Dad at work, it was left to her to manage her younger siblings.  Normally, Asahi would be in charge since she’d started UA, but as long as she was there, she was drafted into the role of caretaker.  Not that she minded.  She had already done so before attending U.A and had been doing so for much of the Summer break.  They’d spent much of the afternoon at the library, so that Nanami could check out books and so that Asahi could begin to do research for a project he would have in his next school term, and were now walking home.  

“I don’t think so,” she said.

“Mighty Burger!” Taki insisted.

“Mighty Burger!” Nanami said.

“Mighty Burger!” Even Asahi was joining in now.

Asuka felt the familiar sensation of Frog-Shadow leaving her body.  “Mighty Burger!” Frog-Shadow insisted, joining in the now repetitious chorus of wanting to get take out.

“We have food at home,” she said firmly, using the same tone of voice her mom used to manage them. “I’m making pasta for dinner.”

Frog-Shadow zipped and around and hovered right in front of her beak, eyes wide and pleading.  “Pleeeeeease,” her familiar begged.  “They’ve got Hero Babies toys in the kids’ meals!  I wanna get Baby Ground Zero before they discontinue it!”

“…Why do you know any of that?” Asuka demanded.

“Because Toshi told you about it and I know everything you know.”

Asuka squeezed her eyes shut tightly.  Ever since she had almost lost her, she had made a greater effort to include Frog-Shadow, allowing her to roam freely and speak to her more often.  It had, by and large, been going quite well.  Being included more often had tamed some of her childish impulses, though it seemed that it was still an uphill battle.

“I’m pretty sure you’re outvoted, Asuka.” Taki said.  The shadows around him rippled a bit.

Asahi just laughed, a low, croaking sound that flared his throat pouch.  “Hey now, Mom and Dad left her in charge.  If she says we’re having pasta, then we’re having pasta.”

There were now four pairs of eyes staring at her.  She should be strong.  She should be tough.  She was the responsible adult here.  If she could wrangle her classmates as Vice-Representative, then she should certainly be able to handle her family as eldest child.

And perhaps if she flapped her arms hard enough, she could learn to fly without Frog-Shadow.

“Fine.  Mighty Burger!”

***

“Hi!  Welcome to the Nice Guy Convenience Store!  Let me know if you need help with anything!”  Isamu said to the customer who had just entered.  Ever since he’d returned from I-Island—and he still couldn’t believe everything he’d become privy to during that time—he’d been working in his dad’s store, pitching in where he could.  It was nice and normal and grounding.  The woman grunted and nodded in acknowledgement.

Weird. The dark-haired woman looked familiar.  Where had he seen her before?  That was going to bug him until he figured it out.  She headed to the back to pick up a handful of ready-made frozen meals and a six pack of energy drinks.  

The woman seemed to be eyeing him as well when she returned to the front.  As he was ringing her up, she asked, “U.A. kid, right?  One of Eraserhead’s brats?”

“Ah, yes, ma’am,” he said. Was she a Pro-Hero?  He didn’t think so, though she could have been an Underground Hero.  But not that many people would know who Aizawa was, even if his own face had been on practically every television in Japan during the Sports Festival.

That, mercifully, had started dying down.  The U.A. Sports Festival was a major event, but compared to daily Hero fights and premieres, it was easy to get forgotten by anyone who wasn’t a diehard fan.  

Was he in danger? He let one of his hands behind the counter.  Slowly, he began charging up an energy pulse, just in case he needed it.  He just needed to keep his face neutral…

“Thought I recognized you,” she said.  “You’re the zippy kid who tackled me at the last second.”

Isamua’s eyes went wide. Shadow-Thief?  She was on parole, right?  Aizawa said they earned their paroles…

“Yeah,” he said.  Should he apologize?

She shrugged.  “Just didn’t expect to see any Hero kids working a regular job.  I thought all you Hero types had rich families.”

“Not a Hero family,” he said.  “Just me.”

“They stuck you with all those Hero kids?” Shadow-Thief asked.  “What the hell?  That ain’t exactly fair to you, is it?”

“I’ve already learned a lot from them.”  Isamu shrugged.  A sudden and rare burst of confidence filled him.  “And besides… I think I’m doing all right for myself.”  Sports Festival winner, Intern with Deku, “Hero” of I-Island, even if he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that last one, especially the paycheck that had shown up from the Mighty Agency for “services while deputized” with way too many zeroes in it.  At least that adventure had been kept out of the news.  

Shadow-Thief laughed at that.  “You, you’re all right, kid.”  She took the bag with her purchases in it and headed for the door.  “Stay in school kid.  I wanna get to say I was your first take down someday.”

What did it say about his life that getting encouragement from a former Villain was not the strangest thing to have happened to him?

[palomvs]

     insert a GOOD tik tok reference here ! hey , i��m izzy ( my middle name , my actual first name is lola , but i thought having my character’s nickname and my name be the same might be confusing , but you can call me either ! ) , i use she / her pronouns , i live in the est timezone and i haven’t left my home in a solid FIFTY-THREE days ! i’m so , so , so excited for this group and to finally give netflix even more real estate in my brain — they really do own this ass ! 

     ( ester expósito , cisfemale , she / her , muse b ) — oh my god, i totally just saw PALOMA VIDAL walking through greenwich village ! you know, she plays VALENTINA ROMERO on that new netflix show, the village ? i can’t believe they’re already famous at TWENTY. i’ve watched all of their interviews, and they totally come off as BRAZEN and STOIC, but they can also be DEBONAIR and CONSCIENTIOUS. based on their social media, i’d describe LOLA like ( script pages covered in notes , silver rings , iced matcha on a warm day , coconut-scented sunblock ) — totally makes sense that people call them THE PRODIGY.

𝐢. 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name : paloma isabella vidal. nicknames : lola , loma & palo. age : twenty. birthday : september 15 , 1999. sun sign : virgo. gender : cisfemale. pronouns : she / her / hers. romantic orientation : heteroromantic. sexual orientation : heterosexual. relationship status : tbd ! passports : spanish & american. languages spoken : spanish , english & a few words of french. label : the prodigy. pinterest board : click here !

faceclaim : ester expósito. height : 5'5". eye color : hazel. hair color : blonde. dominant hand : left. tattoos : a moon on her left shoulder blade , which she got in memory of the long nights she spent on the beach in california ( malibu nights by lany , anyone ? )

positive traits : debonair , conscientious. negative traits : brazen , stoic. enneagram type : type seven , the enthusiast. hogwarts house : gryffindor.

𝐢𝐢. 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲

     paloma was born to cristian and alina vidal ( respectively a producer for film and television , and a retired actress turned director ) in los angeles in september 1999 , and grew up in the GLITZ of hollywood from a young age. though many would think a life of premieres , backstage passes and paparazzi would go straight to a little girl’s head , paloma’s parents both made sure her life was kept as normal as possible. she was raised in l.a. , and spent most of her time either in school , or by the water. 

     despite her parents’ backgrounds and careers , it was never really written in the stars for paloma to follow in their footsteps. growing up , she was a particularly active and outdoorsy child , with a penchant for sailing , surfing ( see her HEADCANONS below for more on her surfing ! ) and photography. guidance counselors thought she might choose to become a pro athlete of some kind , or perhaps some kind of sports journalist or photo-reporter.

     throughout high school , she felt a certain lack of direction , feeling torn between her childhood interests and the pull of hollywood , and what she’d seen her parents do their whole lives. in her junior year of high school , the opportunity to audition for the role of audrey in her school’s rendition of LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS came up. landing the role , and the subsequent weeks of rehearsals and performances , cemented the idea of a career in the arts for paloma.

     she eventually made a move towards the industry by attending the savannah college of art and design ( scad ) , as a performing arts major. the opportunity to audition for the role of VALENTINA , in netflix’s upcoming show the village was brought up by one of her professors ( along with her parents’ connections ) , who urged her to travel to new york. within a few weeks , filled with travel and a flurry of online assignments , paloma landed the role and decided to move to new york full-time to be present for the filming of the show.

     though she’s always been known as quite a workaholic , taking on the role of valentina has amplified it greatly. she’s usually the first in and last out on set ( actor-wise , at least ) and is known to prioritize making sure she knows her lines and blocking over beauty sleep. at present , this hasn’t devolved into anything too SERIOUS , but definitely could in the future ( will it be a slippery slope to a caffeine addiction and perhaps something more , or will she correct course in time ? stay tuned to find out ! )

𝐢𝐢𝐢. 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚

     VALENTINA ROMERO , known as val to friends , is the village’s resident pretty girl ( with a brain ). she’s what would result if serena van der woodsen , cher horowitz , cordelia chase , elle woods and summer roberts were put into a blender. from a prominent political family , she was raised between party fundraisers , easter egg hunts on the white house lawn , campaign trails and society gatherings.

    much like SERENA , her life has happened under the warm glow of the spotlight , and things always seem to have come easy to her. she’s a little more tame than serena though , and rarely ends up on page six ( when she does end up in the pages of magazines , it’s usually for something a little more decent ).

    much like CHER , she’s known for her fashion , and is the darling of amateur photographers in greenwich village. she’s not really the type to bring anyone down for their taste , but rather one to remark when someone wears something she’s into.

    much like CORDELIA , she’s not one to bite her tongue when something’s on her mind. she’s got a sharp wit , and adores honesty over everything else. again , she’s not known to bring people down for sport , but will rebut anything that comes her way if it’s meant to be damaging to her , her family or her friends.

   much like ELLE and SUMMER , she’s a lot smarter than she looks. she doesn’t always try as hard as muse a , but often ends up with good grades anyway. she’s often underestimated by group project members or fellow students , who see her as the stereotypical DUMB BLONDE. proving them wrong is her favorite sport.

𝐢𝐯. 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

     she took up surfing at a young age , and made it her primarily source of exercise growing up. for a while , many thought she’d either go pro , or end up photographing surfers professionally. since moving to new york , she’s had to CHANGE workout regimes , but that hasn’t stopped her from decorating her apartment with surf memorabilia.

   she loves experimenting with fashion , and is known for her BOLD red carpet looks. from bright colors to unusual materials , nothing is off limits ( as long as it’s ethical ! ) she chose her stylist specifically because both saw eye to eye when it came to taking a risk , rather than playing it safe.

    her favorite scents are coconut sunblock and surf wax , which she found is CANDLE form and is always burning in her apartment when she’s running through lines , practicing her blocking , or hanging out with castmates / friends. it’s also one of her favorite ‘ first day of shooting ’ gifts for the cast and crew around her.

    dried mango is her ABSOLUTE favorite snack , and she’s always carrying some around on-set. her mother used to give her that and frozen grapes growing up instead of candy ( since she has such a sweet tooth ) , and she’s been hooked ever since.

    she’s not one to name-drop her parents’ connections and friends in the industry , but the one connection she’ll proudly let people know about ( when they ask ) is that , yes , hugh jackman is her godfather. he and her father met when the latter produced x-men in 2000 and have been INSEPARABLE ever since. if paloma’s ever able to fake a believable aussie accent , it’s thanks to hugh.

    her script pages are usually covered in notes , made in pencil , highlighter , markers , or whatever else she can get her hands on. over the past few months , and during her time at scad , she found that jotting down her IMMEDIATE thoughts on a scene , her lines and / or her blocking always help her remember things better. she keeps all of her notes and script pages in binders back at her apartment , so she can always look back on her character arc and make sure she stays true to who valentina is.

𝐯. 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

     give me the WILL THEY , WON’T THEY ? , where the paparazzi and magazine editors are all convinced there’s a relationship bubbling below the surface. and who wouldn’t ? paloma and your muse have incredible on-set chemistry , are always seen hanging out outside of work hours , and are expertly paired by their publicists during press rounds. that said , when removed from the flashes of the paparazzi , nothing seems to have transpired ( yet ).

     give me a RYAN REYNOLDS TO MY JAKE GYLLENHAAL ( see this video ) , where our muses cannot be paired together for interviews anymore , after cracking jokes every five seconds instead of promoting the village. they’re fused at the hip on-set , and are usually the ones to go live on instagram during filming breaks , to the delight of fans.

     give me an EX , because working with someone you used to date ( or just sleep with ! ) creates so many great possibilities. was it awkward for them to see each other’s names in the press when casting for the village was revealed ? or did one ( or both ) of them see it as an opportunity to build a friendship ? are they jealous on-set , or can they keep it together ?

     give me CHILDHOOD FRIENDS , with bonus points if the friendship exists because of their families’ ties to the film & tv industry. if people dig deep enough through google images , there’s bound to be a picture of them together as children on some red carpet. perhaps the years of knowing each other have turned them into best friends , or maybe they now can’t stand the sight of each other. after all , hollywood can get competitive and ugly.

     give me the BROTHER SHE’S NEVER HAD , who teases her mercilessly , but will always protect her from the paparazzi. they’re protective of one another and are each other’s rock in the new world that is sudden overnight fame. 

     give me the PLATONIC LIFE PARTNER , whom paloma loves more than her own self. they have the login information to all her devices , they text people back in her stead , they sleep in the same bed , they readjust each other’s clothing on red carpets. one is rarely seen without the other , and the village’s fans revel in the two’s friendship.

     i also have a full WANTED CONNECTIONS tag right here , if you want to peruse and find something that suits you , your muse and your own wc !

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Unstable (A Fe Sides Fic)

Word Count: 2171

TW: It’s another vent fic babyyy swearing, yelling, insults, threats (sort of), an excess of anxiety, there’s an intrusive thought from one of them about jumping off of a building but its one line that she gets scolded for. I think that’s it but if there’s more let me know!

Notes: I had a really rough week last week and now that I’m done with school I have time to write fun things again and I needed a vent. It also is part of rebuilding my personal mind palace! I plan on making more with these guys, they are really easy to write honestly, it was like an out of body experience.

Pairings: Lol nope, not even a little bit no.

Summary: The mind palace was usually quiet. The facets did not all get along, and everyone is high strung during Quaranfinals. Someone needs to step in and get this train moving again.

The mind palace was usually rather quiet. All facets left each other alone for the most part, hoping to stay functional and avoid unnecessary fusions but the last few weeks had been out of the norm. Inge was high strung as ever and was snapping at the smallest inconveniences and that wasn’t even addressing the others.

“Listen here you unstable mother fucker! We don't have time for your whiny depressed bullshit right now! She has two huge finals and your fucking cahoots with Barbie is the opposite of helpful! She needs to WORK and you guys are actively working against that! Don't either of you care about her future?!”

“How about you shut your trap for 5 seconds and drop your high and mighty act? The only reason me and Izzy have been working against you is because you have been failing at your job ever since this quarantine started. If you actually did your fucking job maybe me and Iz wouldn’t be falling down a hole ourselves. For someone who needs to have so much control all the time it's surprising how little you’re ever able to keep. You act like you're the ringleader around here when it's obviously Izzy and Lia. I may not like Lia but at least she can work with me. You on the other hand-”

Lia and Isadora were nervous. They were onlookers in the argument and couldn't get a word in edgewise to stop them. Izzy was trying to hide in her Roman Sanders sweater and Lia was hidden in her hoodie that was too big on her, biting her thumb as her eyes darted everywhere but the fight. In the real world Fe was closing her laptop with a sigh, desperate to go and take a nap. She looked quickly to Izzy with all she had to say, communicated in the glance. Suddenly the palace shook and Inge snapped her head at Lia who was very interested at her chewed up Crocs and not the anger filled gazes directed at her.

“LIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“She's too stressed. If you keep at this you're gonna wake up T and that wont help you in getting her to do her work. If T gets up right now she's gonna fail and we all know it. Let Izzy calm her down for a bit. See, she's only taking a half an hour long nap, like her dad told her to. We all just need to chill for a bit.”

Lia was scratching at her face and Inge finally let the anger and annoyance leave her. She gently swatted at Lia’s hand, placing a quickly conjured sheet of bubble wrap in it. Lia smiled at the floor, still not meeting her eyes, vaguely worried at the signs of T waking up, hoping beyond hope that she was just still channeling the hyperactivity that Fe was plagued with. Izzy was meanwhile glassy eyed, placing herself on the floor blindly, waving her hands about in a way that all three recognized as her weaving a dream. It was wonderful to watch, extremely relaxing to see her go off on an adventure of her own design. It was almost meditative to watch her methodical movements, the simple twists of her wrists as she moved the story along. Lia busied herself with popping the bubbles, as Carli and Inge both left to busy themselves in their own wings of the palace. Lia sat across from Isadora, glancing up at her every once in a while. She muttered quietly to herself and maybe Izzy as well.

“She's waking up. I don't know what we’re gonna do, we really gotta get Fe through this last week, but Isa will stop us, I know she will, but how are we supposed to still get things done”

“We’ll figure it out”

Lia’s head snapped up at Izzy whose eyes were still unseeing as she spoke.

“Talisa works with us. We just need to convince her to use her strengths to support us in this. I know she can. Besides, dreams are so much more fun with her around. Who knows, maybe daydream mode will help her write her essay”

Lia smiled softly as she felt comfortable enough to look Izzy in the eyes that couldn't see her. She nodded and went back to her bubble wrap, far more content with the slow draining of anxiety from her body. At least until the palace shook again.

“AAAAAH!!! Well what a wonderful time to be alive eh? Heh, that's a joke, gods, she's asleep and she's still exuding panic like no one's business!”

Out of a darkened corridor walks Talisa in all her glory and self deprecation. There was yet another shake as Fe awoke. Isadora’s eyes cleared in an instant as she rose to her feet.

“Oh boy, Pops woke her up? Ooooh that's not great. I'm sure she's gonna be off all day huh Iz? Oh that's just fuel for this, gosh what have I missed?”

“Quarantine you lucky bitch”

Izzy walks to her with a cocky grin and does a simple handshake with the crazy eyed side. Talisa’s eyes glance around the room. She grins wider, scratching at her scalp.

“All this panic and mania and I wasn't invited? I feel like I should be insulted!”

Lia rose as well, abandoning the bubble wrap as the need to stim left her, and walked over. She smiled small and avoided her face.

“She's got homework. Its, it's all homework now, everything's homework. I haven't been helpful much, but I knew you would probably make it all harder for her, I've been enough of a hindrance for her, I imagined she probably wouldn't do well being overly mentally compromised AND lazy as all get out”

“Oh Lia! I'm wounded! I'm not all bad! Plus-”

There was a sudden shift of the palace again as Fe sat down and started furiously writing her essay, anxiety as her fuel, aided by a giant cup of soda from the gas station.

“A little blood pumping’s good for the brain, ain't it? She just needs a little push! Maybe off of a building eh? Sounds like a ball!”

“Yo, you've been up for less than 5 minutes, stop with that shit, give her a week maybe? So we can properly talk her down?”

“Oh fine, I guess my premium service can wait to activate!”

Her hands moved from her scalp to her arms, scratching without conviction. Isadora softly took her hand off, stopping the scratching and handing her a fidget cube to replace the destructive stim.

“Ohhhh! This is neato mojito Dora!!! Where'd you think this un up? It's pretty! It's my colors too! Ain't that sweeter than molasses! Why I've been so rude, how've you been doing Dora? And you Lia?”

The two smiled. They genuinely liked her, she was nice to be around, while she had her problems, she didn't get mean and angry like Inge and Carli do. She was just… manic. A little odd, maybe crazy, but she wasn’t mean. She didn't yell, and it calmed the two. And they got along well anyways, Lia because she often was a placeholder for her when Fe wasn’t extra out of it and knew how to deal with her quirks, and Dora because divergence fed her like nothing else, made her imagination run wild.

“Whoo! Well ladies, looks like I've got my work cut out for me eh? She invited that boy over last week and that was the first time she saw him in weeks? Oh and her other school friend left her group chat? Yikes, she's a right mess!”

“Yup. she… hasn't been adjusting well to all of this well”

“I’ll say!”

Talisa fidgeted absently with the cube in her hand as she walked around the palace commons, looking around at the scenery. The walls, usually a light lavender were dark violet and the paint was peeling in spots, revealing a gooey black underside. The TV was stuck on a looping image of the most recent Sanders Sides episode. She grinned wide enough to look uncanny, bending her back to crack her spine, almost splitting in half and did a spin as she rose again. She interlocked her fingers and cracked the lot of them and twisted her neck to pop that as well. 

“What are you about to do?”

“Why, what I do best dear Lia!”

She jumped in the air snapping her fingers twice. Her appearance changed, her extraordinarily unruly hair was tied back in a ponytail, tucked through the hole in the back of her baseball cap with the Slytherin logo across the front of it. Her shirt that had been well worn from being worried between her fingers as well as used as pajamas, changed to a tangent hoodie, her shorts with frayed strings switched to a flower patterned pair of leggings, and a skateboard appeared under her feet. She spun around on the board with her wild smile never leaving her face.

“WE’RE ON THE HIGHWAY TO HYPERFOCUS BABES!!! And a little smidge of depression but hey it’ll add to its effectiveness”

It was then that Inge and Carli came running and screamed simultaneously.

“LIA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER ASLEEP!!!”

“Couldn't you for once just do something that was helpful for Fe?”

Talisa stopped in mid spin, turning slowly to look at Carli and Inge. She was no longer smiling. She was glaring and she stepped off of her board and took slow methodical steps towards the two.

“Now now girls, there's no need to scream!”

She was completely in Inge’s face when she said her next words.

“Isn't that right brainiac?”

Inge nodded instantly, fear filling her instantly. Talisa then turned to Carli and grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She glared hard into her eyes and began to grin as Carli’s eyes filled with panic and she avoided her gaze.

“And just for your information, Lia is more helpful than you could ever hope to be, you coward. For someone whose supposed to be confidence you’d think you might be able to share some of that with our host instead of sitting in your room at 3 in the morning and crying into Ramen over the fact that she still isn't in a relationship”

She released Carli, who fell to the ground and scrambled as far away from her as possible and sobbed quietly in the corner she curled up in. and then a moment later, her entire demeanor changed and she smiled happily.

“Oh hi there gals! I was just starting to get Fe to get working!”

Inge blinked owlishly. Her head tilted, as if the whole interaction before held no merit over what Talisa had just said.

“What? But I thought?”

She walked to the TV screen, changing the screen to be a first person view of Fe working away on her essay. Inge made a noise of confusion as she looked back at Talisa yet again.

“But, but you’re a hindrance! You, you make her life a living hell, how is she still doing her work?”

“You know what I do right? Like, you know what my job is? Come on pinky and the pain, I do ADHD yeah, but I also do anxiety and depression. If she doesn't get this stuff done she’ll fail, doncha think that'd drive her to be anxious enough to get it done? If she doesn't she’ll be depressed as all hell, there's no chance she can do law school if she can't even pass an English course. And the bonus of ADHD is that sticky hyperfocus! She’ll be done with that essay before Thursday, and that test for math?”

The palace shook again as the TV showed her turning in her math test. Talisa grinned.

“I’d say it was a walk in the park, wouldn't you? But you know, on an unrelated note, we should really fix that shaking affect, makes me dizzy”

Inge stared in shock and Carli did the same. Talisa stuffed her hands into her front pocket on her jacket and went over to the beanbag across from the TV and plopped down onto it. She pulled her right hand out and chewed on her thumb as she watched the screen. Her job was done for the moment so she let herself relax as she felt the others do the same. Inge rushed back to her room to help aid Fe with the memories needed for writing her essay, but the others placed themselves somewhere in the common room. Carli sat on her love seat and watched the screen intently. Izzy fell asleep quickly, not being needed for the moment, same for Lia, the both of them curling up with Talisa. She let her left hand leave her pocket to pat Lia's head. The only noise was coming from the soft snoring of the sleeping sides and the TV projecting the real world. Finally, finally, the mind palace was quiet again.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing or taken off my list!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @shumsstar!

I hope you have a fabulous holiday season, hopefully this fulfils fluff and Parent!Malec.

Read on AO3

*****

A Family Christmas

Alec rolled over and buried his face into Magnus’ armpit when he heard the bedroom door slam open. “She's your responsibility,” he mumbled. “Wha’?” Magnus lifted his head and looked around. A tiny missile in the form of a disproportionately powerful little warlock launched herself at the bed, catching Magnus in the stomach with a flying elbow. “Oof!” “PRESENTS! CHRISTMAS! PRESENTS! WAKE UP!” Alec buried further into Magnus' side grumbling unintelligibly. Magnus craned his head to glance at the clock. “Madzie, sweet pea, it’s 5am. You don’t usually wake up this early.” Madzie giggled and bounced on the bed, narrowly missing Alec’s hip. “PRESENTS!” Almost as if he’d activated a rune, Alec reached out and swiped the little warlock out of the air mid-bounce. Madzie laughed louder as she crashed into the pillows between the shadowhunter and the older warlock. Alec locked an arm over her belly, latching onto Magnus’ side to stop her when she started trying to get back up. “Sweet pea,” Magnus waited until she turned to face him and gave her an eskimo kiss, nose against nose, “it’s very early and I think Alec may turn into the Grinch if we get up now.” The two warlocks looked over at the shadowhunter who scowled at them convincingly, his eyebrows furrowed into his nose. Madzie giggled again and whisper-yelled in Alec’s face, “presents!” Magnus smothered his own giggle, causing Alec to give him a look over Madzie’s head. The little warlock pushed against Alec’s arm and Alec released her, letting her shuffle down the bed and bounce off the end. She dashed out of the room, slamming the door again as she went.

Magnus and Alec rolled back into each other and shared a tender kiss. The moment was broken when they heard Madzie’s door crash into the wall. Alec groaned, thudding his head into Magnus’ shoulder. “Why did Catarina have to go away over Christmas?” Magnus laughed out loud this time, kissing his husband’s head. “Shut up, you love having her here.” The door crashed again, and Alec lifted his head. “I may be revising that opinion.” The crashing of their own bedroom door was all the warning they got before their little missile launched herself once again at the bed. She wriggled her way under the covers and settled in between the couple, the pair theatrically letting her. She showed them the present she’d grabbed. “Can I open this one please?” she blinked innocently at them, “I’ll go back to sleep after, I promise.” They both laughed. “Go ahead sweet pea.” Magnus shifted into a comfortable position on his side, his arm up over Madzie’s head. Alec mirrored him and tangled their fingers together. Magnus smiled at him over Madzie as the little warlock made quick work of the wrapping paper. The revealed present was a cuddly blue cat. “A blue cat, like mom!” Alec smothered a laugh into Madzie’s hair. Magnus didn’t even bother hiding his laughter, “she’ll be so pleased you thought of her. You like it, sweet pea?” “Yes, thank you, I’m going to call her ‘Cat’, just like mom.” Madzie carefully tucked ‘Cat’ into bed between her and Magnus, yawning as she did. She snuggled into Alec, settling back to sleep as fast as she’d woken up. Alec kissed her forehead and shared another smile with his husband, whose own eyes were fluttering shut again too.

The buzz of a phone woke Alec up just over four hours later. He smiled at the sight of Magnus sprawled out on his back with Madzie draped over his chest. His phone went off again, signalling another text. He reached over for it, his smile widening when he saw the texts from Jace and Isabelle. Jace and Simon were obviously just as excited about Christmas as Madzie was, something that did not surprise Alec one bit, even though neither of them had grown up celebrating the holiday the way they all were this year. He extracted himself carefully from his family tangle and went to put the coffee on. He made a start on the batter for the Christmas pancakes Magnus had promised Madzie the night before, knowing that if he was receiving texts from his siblings they’d be likely to descend on the Lightwood-Bane household in the near future.

The pitter-patter of feet alerted him to Madzie’s impending entrance. He stepped away from the stove in time to catch her as she took a flying leap towards him. He swung her around making her laugh and then settled her on his hip. “Merry Christmas, Miss Madzie. Are you excited?” She hugged him tightly. “YES!” she yelled almost directly down his earhole, bouncing slightly. Alec winced. “Presents and Isabelle and Maryse are coming over, right?” “And Clary, Jace, Simon, Luke and Max too. They’ll be here soon so we can all open presents together.” Alec agreed. He smiled over at his husband who had followed at a more sedate pace and was helping himself to coffee. Magnus came and joined their little huddle, one hand clutching his mug, the other arm sliding around Alec’s waist. He pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s cheek, before the smell of burning made him turn quickly to the stove. “Oops,” Alec smiled sheepishly, “forgot there was still a pancake in there.” He gave Madzie her own kiss on the cheek before releasing her and retrieving the pan Magnus was holding aloft. He scrapped the burnt mess into the bin and gave the pan a quick rinse before returning to the task in hand. “What?” he asked, catching the smile Magnus was hiding behind his coffee cup. “Nothing, nothing, you’re just so cute when you’re being all domesticated.” “Well, somebody promised someone else Christmas pancakes and then was still asleep, so I thought I’d better get started.” Alec teased, flipping the last of said pancakes onto a plate. “Plus Jace and Isabelle both texted so they’re not going to be long, especially as Jace and Simon seem as excited as a certain little miss.” Magnus laughed, “you were the one who said it was too early.” “At that point it was too early.” Alec responded dryly, placing the pancakes on the table, where Madzie was placing cutlery. Magnus laughed again, grabbing plates and joining them at the table. They took their seats and Madzie realised she had nothing to drink. She waved her hand and suddenly a glass of orange juice was in front of her. Magnus hid a proud smile behind his own mug, which widened when she waved her hand again; this time a mug of steaming coffee appearing in front of Alec. “Thank you Madzie.” Alec smiled at her, dishing out pancakes shaped like Christmas trees.

They were just finishing the washing up when Isabelle and Simon fell through the front door. “Izzy!” Madzie threw her tea towel at Magnus and ran towards them. “Madzie!” Isabelle shoved the bags she was carrying at Simon and caught the little warlock. “Have you had a good morning?” “Yes! We had Christmas tree pancakes. Come see my ‘Cat’.” Madzie wriggled down and grasped Isabelle’s hand dragging her into the bedroom. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll just bring everything in.” Simon griped, juggling all the presents. “You can take mine too if you want.” Clary laughed at Simon, teasingly offering her own bags as she entered behind him. “Very funny Fray.” Simon struggled to the tree and dumped the presents under it. Clary and Jace added theirs, wishing Magnus and Alec a Merry Christmas on their way past. Luke, Maryse and Max appeared a few moments later and joined the party, Maryse and Luke also wishing everyone a Merry Christmas with Max heading straight towards the tree, deviating to jump on Jace’s back.

Madzie pulled Isabelle back into the room and ran towards the tree. “PRESENTS!” She picked up one with her name on it and shook it gently. She looked up at Magnus and Alec hopefully. “Is it time for presents now?” They both laughed. “Maybe we should get dressed first?” Alec suggested. Madzie pouted. “I don’t know,” Clary laughed, “spending Christmas day in pyjamas sounds like my idea of heaven.” Madzie grinned and with a wave of her hand the rest of the party were dressed in comfy, fleecy holiday pyjamas, each with a different characters or images adorning them. “I am so keeping these!” Simon grinned down at his blue fleece pyjamas decorated with little menorahs. “Thanks Madzie.” “As delighted as I am to spend my day in pyjamas, and these are gorgeous, I would like my clothes back before we leave please,” Maryse noted, raising an eyebrow at Magnus, the twinkle in her eye belying her tone.

Once everyone was settled in with drinks Madzie waved her hand again and presents started whizzing around the room, settling in piles in front of the right person. Madzie’s pile was by far the largest, with Max’s a close second behind. The adults had smaller piles, but they had more fun watching the kids open their presents anyway. Madzie danced over to hug each person after she unwrapped their present; she got a rainbow art case from Clary and Jace, a sparkly new dress from Isabelle and Simon, a doodle your own pillowcase from Maryse and Max, scented markers and Ubongo from Catarina and books and a new selection of scarves from Magnus and Alec. Max got amongst other things a tablet, books and a new set of throwing knives (“Awesome!” “You are not to throw them in here, or in my house,” Maryse warned).

The rest of the day was spent playing games, watching tv, singing along to songs (some of them more tunefully than others) and just generally enjoying each others’ company. Maryse, Magnus and Luke took charge in the kitchen and part of the afternoon was spent gorging themselves on delicious festive food and drink.

Alec wandered back into the lounge after tidying the kitchen later that evening and smiled softly at the sight before him, a warm glow not entirely due to the amount of eggnog he’d consumed spreading through his chest. Jace and Clary were curled up like kittens, fast asleep in one of the oversized armchairs, while Isabelle and Simon were stretched out on the rug, sharing a pillow with hands entwined. Magnus was stretched out on the sofa with Madzie on his chest again, one arm keeping her securely in place. Max was on the other end, his legs tangled with Magnus’. His mother was in the last armchair watching them all serenely, with Luke at her feet, leaning against the chair and against her legs fast asleep too. She glanced up and noticed him lingering in the doorway.

Maryse smiled up at her eldest son, holding her hand out to him. Alec joined her, perching on the arm of her chair and draping an arm around her shoulders. “It’s been a wonderful day Alec, thank you so much for including me and Luke.” “You’re welcome. It has been good hasn’t it? We should do it more often, just turn off the outside world for a day, and spend time together as a family.” “Sounds like a good idea.” Maryse leant into Alec’s side, nodding towards Magnus and Madzie. “You and Magnus make great fathers, Alec. I know Madzie’s not yours, but you treat her as if she is and that is precious.” “We love her as our own, Catarina too. And the whole rambunctious collection of you lot too. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll have one of our own.” Maryse squeezed Alec’s leg, as he kissed her head, both happily watching the rest of their family sleep and soaking up the atmosphere.

[izamthereblliousirken]

Is it too late to ask more about the 30 question thing? I'm the anon who asked the other two before and I was curious if I could do a few of the other questions for your characters? Um just in case it is okay I was wondering about the 🎁 question for everyone or maybe the 🧠 question for any of them. Which ever you prefer.

((It's not too late at all. You and anyone else are welcome to ask any of the 20 oc questions for Izam TAF or Dylan. I'm also kind of glad for this because I woke up in the middle of the night and needed a distraction cause can't get myself to fall back asleep. I only mention this because I'm typing this answer on my phone a little past 2 in the morning so there is bound to be typos. Okay here we go!

The 🎁 questions. It just occurred to me this post may be long. Sorry about that lol.

Izam: The perfect gift to buy Izam is two things and one of them at this moment may seem like a surprise only because I haven't had the chance to show off his love for it just yet. Anyways the first perfect gift is literally anything super sweet and sugary. Izam has a sweet tooth that could rival Red and Purple. Like seriously give this boy a cookie and he will love you for life. The second gift that will be a surprise to you all at this point is some kind of cute clothes. Literally any cute article of clothes and he will also be sold. Honestly this next part of the plot is about to dive into his future love of fashion so you guys will see this come into play really soon hopefully.

The worst gift to give Izam would be...hmmm this actually took me a second to think of an answer but I got one. You know those candies that are like super gross, like the bean boozled candies for example. Give him that and also not warn him and my poor boy will be devastated and probably never trust you again. Haha! Is it bad I want to draw a joking comic around this idea now? XD

Izam would be good at gift giving only after he knows someone really well. I feel like he would be the type to look for hours just to find that perfect gift and then spend another hour just to wrap it up right. But when he does wrap it up he keeps messing up so in the end the gift is just a poor mess of crumpled wrapping paper and tape. Poor Izzy will be so self conscious to give the gift at that point.

TAF: TAF actually loves really gentle music. He finds it soothing and calming. And even though he loves Izam so much, living with him can end up stressful for my robot. So basically if you give him a lot of new ways to listen to music he'd be so happy. I also like the idea he discovers record players on Earth and falls in love with the old fashioned way to listen to music. Give him a record player and he will be your new best friend.

Worst gift for TAF is a bit vague I know but literally anything that can cause a giant mess or is unnecessary noisy He finds items like that irritating and it somehow gives him a headache. How a robot gets a headache is beyond me. He is meant to be the opposite of GIR personality wise despite both being made of garbage so basically if GIR would like it he would hate it.

TAF would be great at giving gifts, able to process the best possible gift for anyone whether he knows them well or not and being a robot and a bit of a neat freak I'd be shocked if he can't perfectly wrap any kind of gift even if he doesn't have a box for it.

Finally Dylan: Dylan is a big movie geek. He loves a lot of classic films and also has a lot of merchandise that is related to films. Give him anything related to a movie, especially a super big blockbuster like movie and he will be so happy. He especially loves movies like Star Wars, Jaws, Jurassic Park, E.T., Indiana Jones, etc. So anything related to those kind of movies is a win in his book.

Thinking of the worst kind if gift for Dylan is hard because he is the type that will love any kind if present as long as there was genuine thought put into it. But on that note if you give him something and it's obvious it was a last minute present with no care put into it he wouldn't be thrilled. He'd accept it no matter what but wouldn't put a smile on his face.

Dylan is not great at giving gifts though. Don't get me wrong he will go for hours looking for a good gift but he will go back and forth if someone would like what he is considering or spend too long trying to make something when he really doesn't know how to do that well. He thinks over gifts too much and in the end stresses over it a lot. Though he usually finds something someone will like in the end, but always fears he could have done better. As for wrapping the gift...he just tries to find the biggest bag to put the gift in because wrapping is not one of his talents.

Phew sorry this ended up long. At least I think it's long. Hard to tell on my phone. I want to answer the 🧠 questions too but I think I'll do that on another post. I'll leave this one for the gift questions.))

[imgilmoregirl]

A Rose of the Forbidden Love

AO3 Link

Notes: Thanks to everyone who read this story until here and thanks for your patiance with my slow updates. We finally have a happy ending! Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Seventeen

The church was quiet and silent that night. I had been a long while since Rose last set a foot there with a good motivation and she didn’t know exactly what dragged her there after work when she should be hurrying home to see her sweet baby girl. There were still lots of things to be done and discussed and now that Roland’s apartment – their apartment – was finally perfectly furnished, ready for them to move in, she couldn’t wait until they settled everything for their wedding.

Henry and Ella had decided to share the date with them and they were planning a camp ceremony with very few friends and Cristal, her future brother-in-law loyal furry friend entering with a board that said “true love always finds its way” hanging from her neck. They weren’t on a hurry and Rose was glad for that because everything in her life usually happened to fast, so taking things slow was a luxury she was quite enjoying.

She sat on one of the benches, looking up at the cross at the centre of the church without knowing what she should do. Should she thank the Lord for what she had? Cry for what she hasn’t? Should she pray for her family or ask forgiveness for her sins? At this point, Rose had no idea. She sighed, rubbing at her engagement ring and trying to think when she heard steps echoing and glanced at the side corridor, seeing a small, slender figure coming from the shadows.

“Rose,” he father blinked a surprised smile appearing in his lips. “Dearest, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Neither did I,” she answered, following him with her eyes as he took a seat beside her. “Think about coming back to the church?”

Gold shook his head, seeming to be a bit uncomfortable with what he was about to say, he clasped his hands on his lap, eyes focused on the altar, avoiding her glance.

“Actually,” Adam said, carefully, “I was arranging the last details of the wedding with Father Murray.”

“Oh, I forgot about that.”

“I want you to come and so does Belle,” he told her, grasping her thin, cold hand and making Rose look up at him. “I’ll understand if you don’t, but I still want you to.”

She smiled, even against her best will. Rosalie couldn’t put into words how much she loved her father and wanted him to be happy, but he was getting married with her mother and that couldn’t be hardest for her to face. Even after the things Fiona said and the many times Belle tried to apologise, Rose couldn’t still change the things she felt.

“I was thinking yesterday… It is a funny story, right? How everything went perfectly wrong.”

“Aye, I believe so,” Gold agreed with her. “Funny, but tragic.”

A sigh left her. He was gently rubbing her finger between his, occasionally brushing the piece of white gold and peridot she now wore daily. She hadn’t told him about Roland’s proposal, although he already knew about their plans of getting married ever since Ivy’s death.

“She tried to talk to me, many times. Miss French,” Rose felt a bad taste on her mouth to use those words to call Belle, but she couldn’t yet call her a mother. “I wish I could talk to her like I’m doing with you right now but abandoning me wasn’t the only thing she did. I lost my job because of in the moment I most needed it. She made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything.”

“Belle was hurt, Rose. She was bitter, she didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“She didn’t mean to hurt her daughter. If I was just Rosalie Weaver like she thought I was, she wouldn’t even regret it,” Rose snorted and when Gold arched an eyebrow at her words, she felt her shoulder shrink a bit. “Sorry, I know that I’m sounding bitter now.”

With a mere shook of his head, Gold left her hand and cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb against her rosy skin. He had that look on his face again, the one he always wore when he was feeling guilty and wishing that he would change the past.

“You have all the rights to.”

“I lost my faith, father,” she said. “I used to come to the church because I believed in something. The nuns taught me to pray and live by a code, but after everything that happened to me, I didn’t know if there was any God out there that could care for my silly life.”

“Don’t talk like that child,” he reprehended her, assuming the kind of tone he used when he was a priest. Gentle but firm. “I see a ring on your finger, I know you that have the most devoted friends and the most beautiful daughter. You’ve won as much as you’ve lost in the past two years. God doesn’t give us what we can’t take and He traces the most wonderful paths for the most special people.”

She dropped her gaze to the black purse on her lap. Years ago, even as a hopeless child, she would have believed it, but now, she found it a hard to do so, because even though she had things to be grateful for, Rose still felt like life had been too unfair with her.

“I know, I’ve been trying to convince myself of that, lately,” she whispered.

“Forgive your mother, Rose, then you’ll see your saving grace again,” Gold advised. “Bad thoughts kill as much as any decease.”

Sniffling, she nodded and enlaced her arms around him, laying her head on his shoulder and allowing Gold to pull her closer. It was good to feel like a child sometimes, even more if you had a lot of time to make up for.

“Thank you, for having my back, as always.”

“We still need a bridesmaid,” Gold remarked as he kissed the top her head.

A tiny smile spread on Rose’s lips. She wasn’t going to promise anything right now, but she was going to think about it.

Moving had been a whole new trouble Rose didn’t ever want to go through a second time. When she moved from the orphanage to the apartment she shared with Sabine and Jacinda – which was now only Sabine’s – she had very few things to carry, but somehow along the last two years she accumulated a large number of things. She had no idea Izzy herself had so many stuff, but she guessed that people loved to give little gifts to babies, which was why they had to fill two cars with toys.

Neal and Henry had been of great help, but it was still one of the most tiring things she had ever done in her life, even more considering that she freaked out with Roland’s lack of sense for tying a house and made him seat on a corner and watch as she did it all by herself. Rose couldn’t complain much to be clear because she was building she always wanted to have and she could feel sure that her daughter would have the childhood she had always wanted.

It didn’t mean she stopped thinking about her encounter with her father at the church, though. After a whole week living in new home, already used to a nice routine. Rose was making dinner while Roland played with Izzy, thinking about her parent’s wedding until her fiancé’s voice took her out of musings.

“Is she saying something?” He asked aloud, taking an attentive look at their daughter.

Roland was bouncing her up and down, making Izzy giggle and babble some monosyllabic sounds. Her eyes, once almost black were now getting a caramel tone that reminded Rose of Gold’s, her mouth had taken the petal shape hers – and she need to admit Belle’s too – lips had, but her hair, that was now starting to grow had taken the wavy light-brown shade of Roland’s.

“Obviously not, she is a five-month-old.”

“I’m pretty sure that ‘ah ah’ means something.”

“I want food, maybe? I need a diaper changing? I want daddy to stop making silly faces at me?”

“You’re mean.”

Rose rolled her eyes at him, leaving the sauce to boil as she took the baby from his arms and pressed lots of kissed on her cheek. She let herself fall on the couch beside him a she snuggled little Izzy, hearing her lovely giggles and feeling selfish again. Once she thought herself to be nothing but a decent human being for taking care of her child, now as Fiona’s words echoed in the back of her mind, she considered she was mostly lucky.

“Rol, can I ask you something?”

“If this is about Friday night’s dessert, I’m sorry to say that my mother will insist in making apple pie again and nothing can change her mind,” he said, standing up and going to check on their dinner.

“No, it is not about that,” she assured him. “I like Regina’s pie very much.”

“Then what’s up?”

Placing Izzy sat down on her lap, Rose wondered if it was a good idea to have this conversation, but she couldn’t find the peace of mind to stop thinking about the wedding and her father’s pleading eyes to her when he last begged the girl to come and celebrate with them.

“You know my parents are getting married on Sunday, right?”

“Belle send us an invitation,” Roland answered arching an eyebrow at her as he poured the sauce above the pasta she left ready to go. “I told you three weeks ago.”

“Did you? Well, anyway, do you think I should go?”

Roland went back to where she was, touching her face and offering Rose a tender smile.

“I think you should do what your hearts tells you to. I don’t want you to regret not going or appearing at the church and not feeling comfortable at all,” he said. “But I also think you should know that if you don’t give your mother a chance, maybe at some point she will stop trying for a reconciliation.”

“I know,” she murmured, avoiding Roland’s glance, knowing that he was right and not wanting to give in.

Izzy made a loud wail, pulling at her hair, begging for attention and Rose stood up rocking her gently and untightening the grip of her small fingers around her curls. Roland offered to take the baby from her again, taking one of her favourite comforters from the toy box to help Izzy calm down, until she was softly sucking at her own thumb again.

“I spoke to Alice today,” Roland told Rose, winking at her as he added: “The bridesmaids are wearing blue.”

It wasn’t until the very last minute that Rose dragged Neal into shopping. He was the only one who had seen the exact shade of blue Belle had chosen for her bridesmaids and the only one who would keep his mouth shut if she decided not to appear after all. She bought and off-the-shoulder dress in a delicate, fancy fabric, one of the kind the Hooded Beauty would produce, but certainly not one so pricey.

Jacinda was the one to style up her hair, while Sabine did her make-up with the perfection of talented hands. All three of them went to the wedding without telling a word to anyone, although Rose was pretty sure Roland had confirmed their presence to his mother, who as one of Belle’s best friends, would certainly be there.

She was nervous. Extremely nervous. Rose had rejected Belle many, many times and most of her remembrances of their time together were of her mother being cruel and bitter to her. She felt afraid of being rejected herself, in front of everyone, just like the day Belle fired her after catching her making out with Roland. It had been a dreadful and Rose wasn’t willing to repeat it, but she wasn’t doing this just for herself or for Belle, but for her father too and he was more than worth the risk.

When Rose reached the front of the church after giving Roland and Izzy a kiss of goodbye, she found Alice waiting in there too with a similar dress, her hair carefully pinned to one side of her head, adorned by a white gold and sapphire piece of jewellery

“I knew you would come,” the blonde squealed when she saw her, throwing her arms around Rose’s tiny and thin frame.

“Did you?”

“We both knew,” Gideon answered, approaching them with the most handsome smile on his lips. “Welcome home, sis.”

“Thank you, both of you.”

Alice pulled away from her and Gideon offered an arm to both his sisters, taking them in and walking them down the aisle to the place where the bridesmaids were supposed to sit, but they were stopped by Gold’s surprised gasp, his watery eyes focused on them.

“You came,” he said, stupefied.

“Of course, I did,” Rose answered. “I like witnessing happy endings and after all the painful journey needs a reward, right? Because God chooses wonderful paths for special people.”

“Aye.”

There were tears in Rose’s eyes now too, the happiness clear in her father’s expression enough to make her heart seem about to burst with happiness. He was right all along and she only noticed how true his words were now that she was here.

“Expect me to call you my dad from now on,” Alice interfered with a wink, poking Gold with the bouquet she was holding.

A chuckle left Rose as she sat down on the bench beside Alice – well, her sister – barely believing that she was really there. She could feel Gideon’s heavy hands on their shoulders and watch as Gold’s expression changed and he seemed to hold onto a breath when the church’s doors were opened again to allow Belle French in.

She looked stunning on one of the most beautiful wedding gowns she had ever seen in her life. It was white, but the tulle above it had small gold glittery flickers that gave the impression that she was a shining star. No resentment could ever prevent Rose from admitting now that she was one of the most stunning women she had ever seen.

“You look beautiful,” Gold whispered.

“You don’t look bad too,” Belle teased, before she caught a sight of her daughter sat on the corner beside Alice. “Rose.”

“Hey, mother.”

Father Murray – the church’s new priest - looked between the two of them and so did everybody in there. Rosalie was lucky she wasn’t a shy person otherwise she would already be wishing to disappeared.

“You know, we can’t continue with this wedding if we don’t have an emotional hug first,” the priest said.

In that moment, with his permission of taking a moment before starting the ceremony, Belle approached Rose, blinking away some tears and trying to decide if she was dreaming or not.

“Why are you here?”

“It was time to flip up the page,” the girl shrugged. “I’m sorry for everything I said. I can forget the past.”

Rose opened her arms for her and Belle took a step into them, hugging her daughter for the very first time ever since she left her as a baby at the doorstep of an unknown person and it felt like a new beginning. Gold joined the hug, pulling the two of them into his on arms and Rose could hear Gideon and Alice sniffling, full of emotion, at the scene.

“I love you two,” Gold murmured, kissing both of their cheeks.

Rose smiled at them and for the first time, she felt home.

“Go get married you two.”

They laughed, shed some tears and exchanged the most beautiful votes she had ever heard. That night Rosalie Weaver understood what it was like to have a family and to feel love, she learned the power of forgiveness and promised herself to whatever she did in her life, she wouldn’t forget her father’s most valuable advice. The rockiest paths were made for the toughest people.

[sapphicalexaandra]

Beautiful Mess (4/4)

Pairing: Jace/Alec

Rating: E 

Summary: The new development through Clary’s and Izzy’s eyes

Notes: Posting now the final chapter of my Jalec Secret Santa for @myltzi, because tomorrow i’m too busy to post. This is just a little epilogue from Clary’s and Izzy’s pov, to wrap the entire fic with a nice sweet bow ;) 

Epilogue: Reassured

Clary

Clary, tray of food in hand, stood in the middle of the mess hall, her eyes rapidly roaming the place, looking for a free table…until something else caught her interest.

Jace’s back was visible in her line of sight, as he, his own tray in hand, made his way towards a table to the left. When he reached it, Clary noticed that Alec and Izzy were already seated there, and Clary held her breath when she saw Jace immediately sit down next to Alec.

Jace’s face was properly visible at that point, and he seemed relaxed, a smile playing casually on his lips, as he put a hand on Alec’s shoulder, saying something that Clary couldn’t hear. Alec looked back at him, and the smile was easy on Alec’s face, too, making crinkles appear around his eyes.

Turning his head to face Izzy instead, Jace kept on talking animatedly as his hand slid from Alec’s shoulder, until it disappeared behind the edge of the table, out of Clary’s sight. But she thought she had a pretty good idea of what it did.

Jace’s eyes moved around the room, then, and they fixed on Clary as soon as he noticed her.

He was clearly taken aback, but he didn’t shy away from her gaze. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, until Clary managed a smile and Jace nodded somberly at her, before his gaze fell back on Alec.

Even though only Jace’s profile was visible now, Clary could clearly see that his eyes were transfixed by Alec’s every moment, a softness in them that Clary had seen on him before, yes, but not like this. Never quite like this.

She was glad, really, that they had figured it out. She knew Jace had just thanked her, and she hoped it was because she’d had even just a small part in making him give a chance to a future with Alec. She hoped Jace now knew that you should never let the people you love go, and you need to cherish that love, because time is fleeting and something beautiful could come out of it…

Clary nodded to herself, swallowing the lump in her throat, before she found another table. Just this once.

Izzy

“I can’t believe we still haven’t found a better cook,” Jace said as he sat down next to Alec, one hand putting the food tray on the table while the other placed itself on Alec’s shoulder. “Really, it’s almost as bad as if Izzy cooked for us all,” he added, looking meaningfully at Alec.

Izzy huffed, as her traitor brother was surely going to agree.

“Well, Jace, I also wouldn’t put you in charge of the cooking,” Alec teased instead, and a smirk appeared on Izzy’s face, as she threw a Ha! Ha! at Jace.  

“I take offense to that!” Jace burst out, but he wasn’t looking at Alec, rather at her, and Izzy couldn’t help but notice how Jace’s hand casually sneaked down from Alec’s shoulder, clearly going to hold Alec’s hand under the table. Subtle. “Am I the only one who remembers the Christmas incident of 2011?!” Jace went on.

Izzy rolled her eyes. “That was one time! And the kitchen is perfectly fine now, isn’t it?”

“The interior is all wooden, Iz, it’s a miracle you didn’t burn it all to a crisp,” Alec jumped in, far too amused for Izzy’s tastes.

“Well, am I the only one who remembers the time Jace gave us all food poisoning because he cooked rotten fish?” Izzy asked exasperatedly.

“Did I not just say that I wouldn’t trust Jace just as much as you?”

“Mmh, you better.”

Izzy smiled, but at the corner of her eye she noticed how Jace was staring fixedly at something right behind her, and she had a pretty good guess what that was, or who.

“Seriously, though, I can’t believe that of all the things I need to do, now I have to start looking for a better cook, too! You’d expect that to be a basic necessity, you know?” Alec complained, as he looked distastefully at the mush that was his food.

That was why he hadn’t noticed Jace getting distracted, nor when Jace turned his head towards him again, studying his face as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. For Jace, Izzy mused, it was probably just that.

She sighed. This was good, having Jace back, them all talking and smiling and joking together like old times, and her heart warmed at seeing Jace and Alec sit so close together, still clearly holding hands. Her brother looked happier than she’d seen him in…ever, as he finally met Jace’s stare and returned it with just as much intensity, the smile never leaving his lips.

The mission must’ve gone far better than Izzy had hoped, even if she would’ve rather preferred her brother to not almost die, like he had reluctantly admitted to her had happened. She also didn’t want to think too hard about the details of what had caused the two of them to glow like two Christmas trees.

Still, she needed for things to be said to her, out loud. She would not accept silent understandings, because that led too easily to loud misunderstandings. They were not excluding her from this.

So when they got out of the mess hall and started walking together towards the ops center, Izzy, in a swift move, caught them both by the wrist and dragged them into a storage cupboard.

“Wha-”

“Hey-”

“Shhh!”

They shut up until Izzy finally found the light switch and turned it on.

“What is going on, Iz?” Alec, his arms crossed, asked her once he could see her.

They were both looking at her expectantly, with a side of unease.

“Look,” Izzy started, “you won’t find someone happier for you than I am…”

“What – what do you mean, Izzy?” Jace said, frowning, before sharing a look with Alec.

“Seriously, guys? You were holding hands right under my nose!”

Jace crossed his arms, too, trying to keep a smile away from his face, while Alec cleared his throat a few times.

Izzy raised her eyes to the heavens. “If that’s all the subtlety you can muster, then you’ll be found out in one week, one week!”

“Oh c’mon, we knew you had guessed it,” Alec replied curtly, “we just thought we would all agree to never speak about it openly. If something happens, and it turns out that you knew about it…”

“Yeah, Iz, we didn’t want to drag you into it,” Jace agreed.

“Well, not a chance. You’re not keeping me out of it, I don’t care what happens. I’m done with secrets between us, okay?”

Izzy, crossing her own arms, looked meaningfully at them both, and they at least had the decency to look sheepish. Jace hadn’t told anyone about his death and had been drawn into a demonic bond as a result; Alec had just up and left to go ask Jace to kill him one day, and Izzy dreaded to know what it would’ve been like if both of them hadn’t returned.

Alec looked at Jace, then, before turning his head towards her, nodding. “No more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” Jace echoed, somber.

Something unclenched in Izzy’s entire body, and she could breathe more easily.

“Good,” she stated, “and promise me you will be more careful than I’ve seen so far.”

Alec sighed. “We’re not stupid, you know.”

“Debatable,” Izzy said, before adding with a smirk, “and you should thank me, by the way.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“Well, I suggested to Alec that you’d go on a mission together, to rekindle your connection, I think I said.” She was openly teasing now, and it was so much fun. Where had the fun gone from her life? “I gather your rekindling went well.”

Jace burst into laughter, while Alec was pointedly looking up at the ceiling as if he had found something far more interesting there. Izzy thought that they had both turned rather red in the face, though, even if the lighting in that closet wasn’t very good. She snickered anyway.

“I would’ve preferred it if Alec hadn’t gotten hurt, but apparently only tough love works with you two. Still, I hope I won’t be seeing you two being stupid again. At the first long face, I’m banging your heads together, for real,” she concluded with a pointed look.  

“Okay, okay, Iz. Are you done?” Alec said impatiently, and Izzy couldn’t help but smirk again at his embarrassment.

“I think so. Well then, I’ll be going back to work.” She opened the door, about to step through. “And wait till I’m out to kiss, please?”

Jace stuck out his tongue at her, then he deliberately pulled Alec towards himself – who, taken aback, looked down at him with eyes as big as saucers – before drawing him in for an open-mouthed kiss.

“You’ll pay for that!” Izzy whisper-shouted, before closing the door on them.

“Was that necessary, Jace?” she heard Alec whisper forcefully.

“As if you minded.”

When silence followed, Izzy quietly stepped away.