froginamoodboard

[deiaiko]

#22.9 Kindness

Ran woke up with far less aching than he anticipated. Though what shocked him more was that the long haired FUG was the first one to greet him.

"Oh. Hello." The FUG guy, Bam –as A.A called him– wore a soft smile, but half of his face was still hidden behind his long bangs. Ran didn't know if he wanted to respond to him or not. 

"Ran~!" Shibisu cried fake tears, "My cutie~ you made me worried!" Ran grimaced when Shibisu leaped from his seat with two hands outstretched. He was so troublesome, but at least he was good at noticing the line he shouldn't cross, by stopping himself from actually enveloping Ran in an embrace.

Ran gritted his teeth and pushed himself up to sit to get a better look at his surroundings. Seemed like there were only the three of them in the room.

"Mr. Agni said he has healed most of your injuries, and he left you here to rest until you feel better." Bam informed him unprompted. "Khun and Mr. Rak had just left to get lunch at the cafeteria, they should be back soon."

Ran ignored him. He had no intentions to be friendly with this guy. He also noticed that Shibisu was oddly quiet, observing him and Bam. And Ran felt his judging stare pricking his skin and poking his conscience.

Bam glanced at Shibisu, and Shibisu raised an eyebrow. They seemed to have a short telepathic conversation.

"Ah, sorry. I should've introduced myself first. My name's Bam, but you can also call me Viole. I'm Mr– ah, I'm Shibisu's old teammate."

Ran already knew. He had heard about Bam from hushed tales between his allies; about an irregular that took the test with A.A's team and died back on the second floor.

Despite the fact that this person named Bam was long gone, A.A's world seemed to still revolve around him. Like how he couldn't seem to let go of their team that bickered all the time, and how his goal was to take that annoying blonde girl to climb despite his unsubtle hatred toward her.

But the worst of it was how A.A would be so hard on himself to ensure every floor test went perfectly. 

And truthfully, Ran had hated this Bam ever since, for making A.A live like that.

"Are you thirsty, Ran? You haven't spoken in a bit." Shibisu pulled Ran out of his thoughts.

Ran cleared his throat at the mention. And Shibisu was right; his throat actually felt so dry that he wanted to talk even less. Too troublesome.

"Ah, right. Uhm…here." Bam picked up and offered him a glass of water, along with a pill in a small container. "Mr. Agni told us to give this to you, he said it could help relieve some pain."

Ran was skeptical about taking the pill, so he only accepted the water. He watched Bam place the container back on the table, silently glad that neither of them forced him to take it.

Bam was being really thoughtful so far. Maybe he'd consider giving Bam a chance to justify himself. To prove that he could be forgiven for hurting A.A in such a way.

"...Ran." Ran mumbled, "My name's Ran."

Bam beamed and Ran had to mentally squint from the sudden rays of sunlight, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Ran! If you need anything else, just tell me. I'll do my best to assist you."

Ah, troublesome. Ran immediately regretted his decision.

However, now he understood why A.A had been so devoted. A.A was weak to kindness, because Ran knew they both grew up without it. And as far as Ran knew, A.A had always chased after something hard to attain, one of a kind. Whether it was jewelry, weapons, authority,...even people. And Bam fit the criteria too well.

The automatic door opened and revealed A.A. Their eyes inevitably locked and A.A's disappointment was clear to Ran.

Think of the devil…Ran felt his annoyance bar rapidly rising.

"What did I tell you?" A.A navigated his way to them, not once breaking his glare. "Only consume redan when it's absolutely necessary."

Ran was taking none of it. "Hmph!" He had lots of fun with the spar, so he wouldn't say he regretted it.

A moment passed with A.A still staring daggers into him. It almost made Ran feel bad. Almost. In the end, A.A sighed and let it slide. "Suit yourself."

A.A brought three plates filled with an assortment of food. Though Ran figured that none of them were for him. Ran's stomach rumbled defiantly when the smell reached his nose.

Instead of being teased, Ran was taken aback when Bam offered him his yet untouched food. "You can have this, Mr. Ran."

Ran didn't know how to react to that, feeling a little uncomfortable. He felt like it would be wrong to refuse, but he didn't want it. He looked at A.A instead, hoping that he'd get the hint.

A.A noticed this and said, "You don't have to be nice to him, Bam."

"Hm? Why?"

Unfortunately A.A didn't say a better explanation other than, "Because that's how it is with him."

Shibisu slung his arms around Bam's neck. "What Khun meant is…Ran appreciates your thoughtfulness, but I think he would rather get his own food than take yours because he doesn't want to bother you. Right?"

Isu winked at Ran, and Ran rolled his eyes. That was not exactly true, but it was a softer way to put it. "As he said."

"Ah," Bam retracted his offering hands, "I see."

Ran wasted no time and swung his feet off the bed, glad to find that they weren't hurting as much. 

Bam had leaped from his seat as well, ready to catch Ran with his free hand if Ran didn't make it to stand. However it only made Ran much more eager to leave the room and get away from Bam.

Getting nice gestures from someone else he barely knew usually means they have ulterior motives, and he was so tired of being treated that way.

Bam might have meant well, seeing how much A.A trusted Bam. But Ran just hadn't gotten used to receiving kindness.

"Well then," Ran went for the door and it automatically opened for him. He didn't bother to look back to check if they followed him out. "I'll go and get some food."

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[aklaustaleteller]

Hi sweetie! Hope you're doing well. Could you write a Klaus Mikaelson x reader (the reader is Hope's bio mom, so the whole Dahlia betrayal didn't happen and no one was turned into a wolf) where it's set in season 3, the reader and Klaus are married and happy until Aurora comes along, and with her jealousy she makes y/n believe she and Klaus slept together (they didn't) so they have a big fight where Klaus didn't deny he slept with her (cause he was hurt she didn't trust him and stuff) causing them to split out. They only saw each other because of Hope, and they were verbally hostile towards each other (not much, just petty arguments) and after a while he kills Aurora bcs she threatened yn (or something similar) and they go back together and it's all fluff.

Have a great day!

Said Yes To Heaven

Y/n and Klaus are in love, happy and overwhelmed, especially since having welcomed their newborn baby only weeks ago. But what happens when an unwanted guest appears on their doorstep out of the blue, and suddenly Y/n isn't sure if she's just going crazy or there truly has been some infidelity?

Warnings - Mentions of pregnancy, blood, thoughts + scenes of trying to unalive someone else, and some light after-birth changes/affects our reader is going through. Word Count - 4.6k

So, long time no see, everyone? Hahah, it's surreal to me how you have stuck around, but I'm very glad at the same time :) Thank you for sending in this request, anon, and I'm sorry for taking so long! This is part 1/2 and this mainly has fluff, as I wanted to show you the happiness and all about this family before I tore it down in the next part (just so it'd hurt a little better, yanno?) Anyways, I'm a little rusty but I hope you'll enjoy this one even a little and I'll let you go now! Have fun reading <3

UPDATE: You can now read part two here!

Klaus took a few steps back from his doorstep, looking rather unpleasant to see his guest for the day. Because of course, out of the very blue, his ex-lover had been reminded of him. On the very day he had woken up to a crying baby and a cranky wife who was high on hormones after just having given birth.

Some days, he just couldn't get it right. But today was going to be the hardest of it all and he was not ready to face the music.

"Aurora," Y/n spoke from somewhere behind Klaus, her voice carrying a threatening echo. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" She was approaching the door slowly, her eyes and tone an exact contrast to the welcoming words falling out of her mouth like sweet honey.

Klaus' shoulders relaxed when Y/n brushed against him while she moved past to stand in front of him, making him lean against the doorframe.

"It's a lovely day, isn't it?" Aurora spoke, her voice like a little girl’s – sweet and gentle. But Klaus saw straight through it as well as the tick in his wife's jaw. "Heard that you gave birth to a baby g --"

Before Aurora could've finished, Y/n had her pinned to the doorframe opposite to the one Klaus was leaning against.

"Don't you even dare speak of my family," Y/n snarled, her fingers digging into the woman's throat as everything in her told her to rip it out. But before she could've, Klaus' lulling voice began slipping into her ears.

"Now, love," He said softly, grabbing a hold of her shoulders and bringing her back into him, knowing fully well that this wasn't something she truly wanted to do. Then, tucking her lone hair strand back into her braid, he cupped her cheeks – "Why taint the porch with her blood, hm?"

"Because I'd rather see her dead than listen to that filth for another second," she smiled sweetly, her anger evident in the grit of her teeth.

And she'd just begun turning to take a look at an embarrassingly flushed Aurora, when a cry tore through the silent household. For a small second, both Klaus and Y/n shut their eyes, taking a deep breath simultaneously before Y/n was walking back into the house.

"Take a nap with her, why don't you?" Klaus proposed, his back facing the unwanted guest. "I'll take care of this and join you two in a bit," he nodded, passing the exhausted mother of his little girl a sweet smile, encouraging her.

Then he turned back around, almost shutting the door behind him to keep whatever noise was to come at bay.

"What do you think you're doing here, Aurora?"

"I just wanted to see you, Niklaus," she muttered softly, taking a step closer to him. "I miss you," she confessed, reaching to place her hands on his chest.

He backed away just in time, releasing a sharp breath. "I didn't suspect you to be so idiotic and careless with your life," he said sharply.

"Only for you, Klaus." She was looking up at him with a million emotions swirling in her eyes. But Klaus knew better than to not notice malice being one of them.

"Whatever you're planning to do, drop it," he gritted through his teeth. "And stay far, far away, from my family," he warned her as he walked her off their porch and out of their house’ perimeter, tempting the woman in front of him to backtrack.

"Don't test me against this Aurora,” he started, his hands placed behind his back but his frame remained all the more intimidating.

“I will kill you if you even bat an eye in the direction of this house," he was almost beginning to shake now, trying his best to keep his anger at bay and not cause any destruction out here while his little family rested inside the house not too far away.

Leaving her standing, Klaus turned to get back in the house when Aurora called out his name.

"You love me, though! You know you love me," she shouted at him, and Klaus' eyes glowed golden, knowing exactly what she was trying to do here.

And the moment she saw his eyes, she stumbled a little.

"I know you love me, do you not?" She managed to croak out just before Klaus had his hand wrapped around her throat, enhancing the bruising his wife had marked earlier.

"This is your final warning," he growled in her ear before slamming her against the wall behind her, walking away and trying to lose his temper at the same time as he entered the house and shut the door behind him, wincing when a baby's wails followed the noise.

—

As the next morning rolled around, so did the first official day of Summer.

With Hope's little frame already covered in fresh grass, Y/n couldn't foresee the day getting any better. A loud laugh escaped her when Klaus pretended for it to have been hard work getting a hold of the very frantic Hope, who was as happy to see the sun as Y/n was.

"Look who's gotten herself all dirty," Y/n pouted, dusting off as much dirt as she could off of Hope's onesie, while Klaus softly wiped her face.

"Just learned to crawl and of course she's abusing the skill," Klaus murmured, only making his wife laugh again.

Y/n kept Hope caged in her lap with one arm, leaning back on the other one to soak in the sun. She exhaled a deep breath, before turning to look at Klaus, who was already smiling at her.

"You've been such a good father, have I told you that?"

He laughed at that, looking down to hide the blush creeping up his neck, and nodding with his eyes still set on the little ducklings printed on the blanket they were sitting on.

"You have," he began softly. "Many times, actually," huffing out a laugh, he looked up again, now catching Hope's big wondrous eyes as well.

"Good."

With a light groan, Klaus moved to lay beside her. "Hope couldn't have a better mum, though."

"Wouldn't want her to have another mum anyways," she laughed, leaning in just a bit to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth that was curled in a grin.

And as the beautiful day passed them by, with Hope's full cheeks turned red due to the amount of fun she'd had, and Y/n's heart swollen with all the love she couldn't muster up properly at all, no matter how hard she tried – and Klaus knew that he could give it his all and still be unable to put this keen feeling rushing under his skin upon a canvas.

They'd truly said yes to heaven, when they'd said yes to each other on that one day in particular.

So, once they had shuffled back inside their house due to the chilliness increasing, Klaus made his way straight to the kitchen to heat up the leftovers while Y/n changed Hope’s clothes upstairs, in their bedroom. It didn't take long for the tired little girl to slip into sleep's arms and for her head to lull to the side, while Y/n was rocking her back and forth. So she stacked pillows around Hope’s body and went back down to Klaus, reaching just in time when a there was a knock on the door.

Now, with whatever Y/n had been expecting to come across, Aurora Martel at her door once again, was not it.

As she stood still on her ground, looking into the very woman's eyes who was not even supposed to be here anymore, her eyes began to fade to black only for the golden rim of a Hybrid to come through -- to caution the vampire standing in front of her before she attacked.

Because while Y/n hadn’t mentioned it to Klaus, she had heard her fake little love confession to Klaus yesterday and thought about the multiple ways she could unalive Aurora. 

But she decided against putting in such effort and put her body through another wave of pain for the day. She was going to go about his normally, after all, she was the mother of the very man's child that this woman had clearly come after. And his wife, as well.

"Aurora De Martel, the hopeless-romantic human, who only grew more daring once turned into a vampire, at my doorstep all over again," Y/n began, walking to complete a circle around the woman.

"Not an ounce of stupidity was shred in the process-- you know, of your turning; I suppose, since you're clearly still in possession of it," Y/n continued. 

Once she was in front of Aurora again, she took a step closer, the gaze of a predator still present in her eyes.

"Cat got your tongue darling?" She spoke, tilting her head to the side. "Where's that feisty little Vampire that I remember, hm?"

"I'm not that person anymore," Aurora began, struggling once Y/n had her in a choke hold again.

"No need to be a stinking liar, Aurora." Y/n gritted, dropping the choking one on the ground. "I can smell your intentions from miles away."

Y/n didn't tend to be such a threatening and volatile person, that was the reason that she'd fit so well with Klaus. And yet, she wasn't quite sure as to why she'd brought up this side of hers. She knew she wasn’t afraid or insecure that Aurora might get to Klaus; not at all.

But what she did know was that Klaus’ lovers popping back up only made her heart thud because of the potential danger they put Hope in.

She scoffed when Aurora scrambled to her feet, hands around her neck as she swallowed thickly.

“How are you, Y/n?” She croaked out, looking ahead of her despite the fact that Y/n was right by her side, now making another round around her. 

“Hm, concerned, I’d say,” Y/n hummed. “For you, of course.”

Maybe the pregnancy had changed more about her than she’d originally thought. Or maybe, and hopefully, Y/n thought, it was just the hormones. 

“How’s Klaus?” Aurora asked, mustering up the courage to turn and look Y/n in the eyes. “I supposed he’d be here,” she shrugged, "with you." The venom in her voice could be well detected, especially when she mentioned Y/n. And while her guards were high up, prepared for the hybrid to rip her to shreds -- she still held the fake confidence that that won't happen. 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself? I’m sure he’d love to have a chat,” Y/n smiled at her before she walked into the house, towards the room she knew Klaus was putting away Hope’s stray toys in – but not before passing Aurora a cautioning glare, warning her against doing something stupid in her absence. 

“Klaus?” She asked softly, entering the dark room, her eyes already following his figure as he put away the box of toys.

“We have a guest, I hear?” Klaus asked, walking up to her with a lazy smile. One of his arms snuck around her waist to pull her into him to press a kiss on her mouth. 

“No actually – we have a doting lover on our door,” Y/n chuckled. “She’s eager to see you again,” she shrugged, quickly going back to press a kiss on Hope’s forehead before grabbing a very confused Klaus’ hand, leading him outside. 

“Aurora,” he realised in annoyance, a deep frown in between his brows as he caught her sight from the top of the stairs. His mind was racing through a million things, the loudest question in there was, what in the hell was she doing here again? Didn't he warn her just yesterday?

“Isn’t it a pleasant surprise?” Y/n smiled brightly, coming to a halt herself. “I’ll leave you two to it,” she said, ignoring Klaus’ pleading look with an inner laugh as she turned away, most likely to arrange the dishes for their awaiting and heated dinner.

"Just make sure she doesn't ever dare to lose her way and end up here, again," she said, looking straight into Aurora's eyes before crossing over to the kitchen. 

And from the corner of her eye, she saw Klaus shut the door behind him. So, trusting him against making a mess, she quickly cleaned up the kitchen before she was making her way upstairs to Hope’s room, to now feed her some formula and put her to sleep for the night. 

"Are you in there, little wolf?" Y/n spoke from just outside the door, a silly grin on her face as she waited for the same reply she got everyday.

A random babbling noise that showed that Hope was indeed hungry. 

Despite Hope's loud squeak and the sounds of her rolling around in her crib, Y/n walked into the room with the same look on her face – the pretended to have caught her daughter, awake, red handed.

"Hope! You don't wake up once I put you to sleep!" She gasped, swallowing a laugh and reaching with one hand to pick up the little girl, bringing her to sit on her lap while she backed to sit on the rocking chair.

With loud giggles, Hope hit her chest a couple times, grinning up at her while drool began pooling on the boundary of her mouth.

"Uh ah!" Y/n laughed, closing the baby's mouth and watching as she squealed again, this time her palm landing flat on Y/n’s cheek.

Risking a mess by placing the small bowl on her thigh, Y/n held Hope up with her back against her chest and lifted a spoonful.

"Yes!" She cheered when Hope took in the bite without closing her mouth halfway and spilling the rest down her chin.

Slowly and steadily, she let the girl swallow her meal before making her burp.

"Did I get you sleepy, little wolf?" Y/n giggled watching Hope's eyes droop.

"You're so sleepy all the time!" She pouted. "Never got the time on your hands to play with your mummy," chuckling and shaking her head, she got off the chair and walked over to the crib placed near Klaus’ side of the bed upon his insistence, putting the already asleep girl inside.

Lowering with her, Y/n pressed a chaste kiss on her full cheeks that now hung low. Silently, she walked over and peeked out of the door to see if the matter down the stairs had been sorted out.

But she didn't catch sight of either Klaus or Aurora. So, with a sharp frown between her brows and an anxious tick among her fingers, she hurried down the stairs -- only to confirm her first realisation, it seemed.

Knowing that Klaus couldn't have been hurt in any way, she headed back into the master bedroom to get herself into a nice bath and take some time off to relax. 

She lit the candle that Freya had gifted her some time ago, and stepped into the bathtub full of soap foams. Her head lulled back and her eyes shut off, and she began to think of all the time she had been spending building this new little family recently. 

It still felt so surreal, that Hope was finally here. It was all so new and overwhelming, but Y/n knew that neither her nor Klaus would trade this period of their life for anything. It was almost as if everything had fallen into pieces to fit a puzzle the moment they had welcomed their little daughter into this world. 

There was no other source of light in the bathroom apart from the flickering candle, Y/n didn't feel like turning on the bright white light. And, as she began to tune into Hope’s breathing, she felt her heart begin to beat in sync with hers. It would’ve only been silence to human ears, but Y/n could hear the little puffs and the little movements of her mouth that she made in her sleep. 

She could picture Hope’s head lulled to the side, her mouth slightly ajar and her small frame rising and lowering with each breath that she took. Then, Klaus faded into the photo and she could see Hope’s drool slipping onto his arm and drying up there, because of course Klaus had fallen asleep with her on the rocking chair. 

And finally, she entered the picture herself and took the two of them into the master bedroom, laying Hope between the two of them and pressing kisses on both of their foreheads. After turning off the lights, she was looking at the two pieces of her heart sleeping peacefully, because she felt like she couldn’t miss this sight, because she probably won’t feel the time pass before Hope had to be put to sleep in a crib in her own room. 

Just the idea of that brought tears to her eyes. Everything made her cry these days, and she does realise that it’s because of the hormones. But she doesn’t know how to explain the exhaustion of it all. The untrue and mean thoughts she got throughout the day, whether it was regarding her body or her new journey of being a mother and feeling scared that she’d go wrong somewhere and be hated by her own family for the rest of her life. 

Just the energy it took to shut all those thoughts down and to reassure herself, remind herself of what was true and what wasn’t – took so much out of her that when Klaus held her in his arms at the end of the day, she just wanted to let go and fall into pieces, so that he’d bunch her up and tell her or show her stupid brain that Y/n was indeed right and that the thoughts were just her mind playing games. 

Taking in a deep breath, Y/n rose and washed the soap off of her. She could think about this all day and all night, and she could drown in her sorrows for way too long than healthy. But right now, she needed to go and eat dinner if she wanted to sleep on time. 

Which reminded her – she hadn’t heard Klaus come home. Had she missed it, or had he genuinely not come home yet? She began to focus on her hearing, and only came across Hope’s breaths, nothing else. 

Maybe something had occupied him, she thought, wrapping a towel around her and exiting the bathroom. 

—

Klaus was walking in their backyard with Hope in his arms, asleep, as always. He couldn’t balme her though – she was a newborn, after all, and had a lot to register in her brain in the couple hours that she was awake during the day. 

She had been a calm baby so far. The midnight tantrums weren’t as frequent as others had warned him and Y/n about, maybe because they had way more stamina than an average human.

Y/n, right when she had woken up, had been dragged out by Rebekah and Freya. Trust me, Y/n, I’ve been through what you’re going through and it’s been two weeks since you’ve left the house with us! He had heard Rebekah say to Y/n in the kitchen, and he had agreed a hundred percent. 

They had gone out for brunch, and maybe it was because they had a lot to catch up on, that Y/n hadn’t yet come home and it was nearing lunch time. 

And Y/n, as much as she was enjoying her time out in as much sun as New Orleans got on an average, she was dying to go home. She was missing Hope and Klaus and before she could’ve said anything, Rebekah had herself proposed that they should have some dessert already because Klaus and Hope are probably seeing your sight on the doorstep, she’d laughed. 

“I think I’m gonna walk home, the weather’s really nice,” Y/n said when Rebekah began to try and convince her for a lift in her car. 

“Oh, okay!” Rebekah laughed. “You have come out after a long time, so sure!”

Y/n just passed the woman a narrow-eyed glare as she was hugging Freya. 

“Juut text us when you reach home,” Freys said, walking off towards her car. 

Y/n nodded, bidding goodbye and watching the two drive off before she dropped her smile and sighed. God, her cheeks hurt from how much she’d been smiling and laughing. 

She had only walked a couple paces away from their eating spot when she heard footsteps. It was a busy time, a nice day, so many people were out and about. The city was kind of bustling. But still, Y/n turned to look and immediately, she groaned, coming to a pause. 

“Seriously, Aurora?” She almost whined. “You take annoying someone to a whole another scale,” she said with a face that was genuinely twisted into annoyance and irritation. 

“C’mon Y/n,” Aurora said with a newfound confidence, drawing Y/n’s attention right away. “Can’t you have a chat with me, too? Just us girls?” She grinned, and then rolled her eyes when she saw that flash of Hybrid golden in Y/n’s eyes. 

“I’m not here to fight,” she said. “I’m here to make friends with you,” shrugging, she dared to take a step closer, testing the waters. 

“Don’t be so over confident, Aurora,” Y/n gritted, having pinned the woman on a wall. “It almost got you killed, right this moment,” she said, giving her a final flash of her eyes before getting up and walking away. She was not in the mood to kill today, especially not after the amazing brunch she’d had not too long ago. 

But of course, Aurora was too dumb to get that, Y/n noted as she heard feet jogging to catch up to her pace. 

“Just talk to me this once, and I swear I’ll never show you my face ever again,” Aurora rushed to speak, desperate to get Y/n to stop.

They were still a little far from her home, Y/n realised. She could very conveniently kill her right now, and not get blood anywhere near her family home. 

“What?” She asked instead, coming to a stop. 

“I get why you married Klaus now,” Aurora spoke, a smile creeping up on her mouth. Y/n didn’t want to admit that there was a blush as well. It was probably sunburn, she told herself. 

With a slight roll of her eyes, Y/n forced herself to focus. “What do you mean, Aurora?” She asked her, ready to snap her neck if she tried to beat around the bush once more. 

“I mean, you two got together, had a baby so early on in your marriage. I now realise that it’s because he is so good in bed, you had to lock him down somehow, didn’t you?” She laughed, not noticing the gold swarming Y/n’s eyes as she smiled at the ground, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“I would too. Guess I got a bit late, huh?” She continued with a joke, and then stopped. 

Y/n didn’t even talk to her girlfriends like this. How dare this dumb little piece of work, dare to speak of her and Klaus in such a manner? So, she sped through her movements and sunk her fingers in Aurora’s throat, cleansing her insides.

“I rushed. Think I would’ve liked ripping out your dirty fucking tongue instead,” Y/n hissed, her mouth right next to Aurora’s ear and she was so close she could hear the loud thudding of her heart. It made her feel good, and she almost didn’t want to kill her becuase that noise was music to her ears right now. 

Aurora couldn’t say anything, the only noise she could muster up was the sound of choking, because she was. And she was pretty sure her blood was rushing to places inside her where it shouldn’t be. 

But then, something came over Y/n and she slipped her hand out of Aurora’s throat, leaving it intact as she wiped the blood on the very woman’s clothing. “Sleep good. Maybe some rest will knock some sense into you. After all, all this stalking and annoying someone must be exhausting,” Y/n spoke with an understanding shake in her head. 

And then, before Aurora could even realise much, Y/n had her hand placed near her throat and with that, she snapped her neck, quickly rushing to put her back in her house. She wasn’t cruel or angry enough to leave her asleep in the middle of nowhere. 

But she was riled up enough that she needed to rush home and ask Klaus some questions before her mind could get the better of her. 

She knew that this was the time Hope was usually asleep, and she was praying to the gods above that today wouldn’t be any different. And she opened the door to the house, quickly sensing that Hope was, indeed, asleep but she could hear that Klaus wasn’t.

The shower was running. 

Removing her shoes, she walked to the kitchen and washed her hands in the sink. Then, tiredly, walked over and sat on the sofa in the living room, knowing that Hope was in the master bedroom and they couldn’t talk, potentially argue, there. 

A lot was taken out of her today, and she needed Klaus to reassure her so that she wouldn’t have a breakdown somewhere in the house because it felt like she was going crazy. She knew that he hadn’t done it, knew that he couldn’t have done it. 

But just for the sake of her brain, she needed him to say it. Needed the words to come out of his mouth so that she would know for sure. For she trusted him more than she trusted herself. 

Because right now, her brain was telling her that she had heard Aurora’s love confession that day, but she hadn’t heard Klaus’ reply. Or that Klaus mostly shut the door when she left him with Aurora or how that one night he had come home late after she had left the two of them alone for Klaus to sort out the matters, and he’d told her not to worry about it – that it was nothing and he had taken care of it.

She knew that it truly was nothing. But once, just once, she wanted him to tell her that. 

Waiting and waiting for the shower to turn off, Y/n slipped into a slumber. So when she felt someone close to her, she caught Kalus leaning in to pick her up, probably to carry her to their bedroom. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” he smiled, his gaze so soft and his dimples evident as he instead pressed a kiss to her forehead and stood up straight. “The girls tired you out, hm?” He asked her, raising her head and placing it on his lap once he had sat himself. 

Y/n only mumbled something, before turning to hide her face in his hip area. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him about this when he was caressing her hair so gingerly, but she knew she had to. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said then, looked up at him. 

“What is it, love?”

God, this was going to be hard. She sat up and fixed her bed head with her fingers before she looked at him again, this time with a wavering sigh. 

“Did you sleep with Aurora?” 

Klaus’ eyes hardened then – the exact response Y/n hadn’t been longing to receive. 

[sunderedazem]

Hey! It's been a while :D I've been off the Internet for a bit but just know both of your updates have been giving me essential bits of life energy, even though I haven't had time to type something out in appreciation until now. First things first I absolutely love what you wrote for the 'stay?' prompt, it's exactly what I hoped and imagined what could have happened if things hadn't gone so wrong back then. Seriously, it's like you took a look into my brain, I was really imagining scenarios of helios coming back and taking care of an exhausted emet selch 😩 such good food thanks so much for that.

Okay so back to the actual ao3 updates, I couldn't believe that you guys did the tempering cure so early XD ahhhhhh it was so good! The way it was just a slight shift of perception, how emet selch goes off just barely holding it together, the line "I always believed I would see them again" broke me so bad like how dare you 😭 but honestly finally processing his grief now is great cause it'll be so much better when Hyth comes back 😈 iirc that that's happening. One of my favourite bits was emet selch having company while the cure was being administered, idk there's always something about having support while you're healing. Corrain's writing is superb as always, in the tempering fic as well as the Sharlayan one, he comforted emet selch so well and it was very interesting to see his point of view when he snapped at thancred, poor guy needs a long break and so much therapy. I haven't read the most recent lelesu writings yet but ahhhhhh she has such big sister energy? Such a solid anchor, it's so great every time she gives support.

I think that's all my thoughts for now, so that this doesn't get too long. Thanks so much for the new content, and I hope the both of you are doing well!! Many well wishes <3

Okay! Now it's time to sob over this ask so excuse me while i

And YEAH we couldn't wait to untemper that bastard man and break him even worse. Like imagine waking up and the thing you've been working towards for the last thirteen thousand years is not only principally opposed to what you believe is right, but also now you have to accept that everyone you'd ever loved is dead and gone and will not come back.

(And then they do. Because we are stealing Hyth. And then also stealing Elidibus from Pandaemonium like sorry Athena that man is ours now. And then Hyth is spotting Lahabrea's soul mixed in with Nidhogg and they are Stealing (and helping him put himself back together, and confiscating his wife's evil space rock) him too. And we are stealing the Sundered Ascians as we find them and curing and collecting them, because they all deserve a chance to recover from the literal apocalypse knowing that the star is actually safe. Anyway. I have emotions about the first Final Days and how nobody who lived then deserved what the world and Hydaelyn ended up giving them, no matter if it was necessary or not.)

To be fair it most likely only feels fast because most of what happens in Shadowbringers and the post 5.0 patches happens as it does in canon and tby rewriting all the Same Stuff seems kinda jejune so we skipped it XD. There are a few more pieces from SHB in process though, we just have to finish them.

And YEAH GOD. Corrain can be very cruel on occasion, and him snapping at Thancred for having EXTREMELY JUSTIFIABLE RESERVATIONS (even if he was a jackass about it) wasn't his finest moment. He doesn't even honestly feel so upset about Minfilia, he liked her alright as a person, and she WAS kind to him, but in the moment he's purely reacting in anger, and it dredges up some really nasty parts of him. This is a trait Helios had as well, if uh. You read the Final Days breakup fic XD.

And YEAH I ALSO NEED MORE LELESU ALWAYS. She is so SASSY sometimes. Hey @azems-familiar give us your girl. Grabby hands.

Honestly I know I'm late actually answering but this made my week last week 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙

[queenofbaws]

ah, and once more, it's wednesday my dudes!

a slightly different update from me this week - things have been slow in terms of words being put to paper lately, and this will probably be the case for a little while. i'm gonna be trying to get a chapter of something out in the near future (probably like wringing blood, but don't quote me on that), then ya gurl may or may not be taking a slightly more official break from the internet to deal with some stuff here at home ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

such is life. ANYWAY, for this reason, i'm offering a few snippets/sneak peeks of multiple projects this week, just to show y'all what's bubbling away on the backburner. if you're interested in seeing any of that, click the readmore! either way, hope you're all having wonderful weeks so far, and taking care of yourselves as best you can <3

like wringing blood from a stone

There were a million things he could say to that, maybe even a million and one. What he settled on, however, was probably the lesser of all those evils. “You kidnapped my counselors.” Travis’s whole face puckered at that, letting him know in no uncertain terms the lesser of those evils had still been pretty fucking evil, in fact. “What did you want me to do, Chris?! Huh? Huh?! You bit one of them! They both saw—” “Oh for Chrissake, quit fucking whispering, wouldya?” Obviously he’d been expecting something else—an actual fight, maybe—and so Chris took Travis’s surprised spluttering as an opportunity to dig his own heels in. “If you’re gonna bitch me out, at least do it with your big-kid voice.” A vein ticked furiously in Travis’s neck, making it look like something was itching to burst its way out of him. He narrowed his eyes to slits, then leaned in until the two of them were nearly nose to nose. He could smell the blood beginning to clot where Jack had split his eyebrow, the ointment he’d smeared over it before covering it with a bandage. “You and I both know,” he began again, still fucking whispering, “That anyone could be listening outside. I don’t—” Before he could finish that thought, Chris threw his arms up into the air, shouting at the very top of his own voice, “I DON’T CARE! I do not fucking care, Travis! I couldn’t care less if you paid me to! Know what?” He cupped his hands to his mouth then, tipping his head back as he did so, and, tapping even deeper into his (presumably very bruised) diaphragm, hollered, “I HOPE YOU’RE ALL LISTENING! I HOPE EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMN COUNTY CAN HEAR ME LOUD AND FUCKING CLEAR!” If Travis’s face went any redder, it probably would’ve started looking purple. It was Chris’s turn to narrow his eyes; instead of glowering like an asshole, though, he flashed him a grin, sarcastic and savage and sharp enough to nearly slice through his tongue. “Big-kid voices, Travvy. Why the hell not, right?”

of mummy men & bathtub soup

“My oh-so-charming brother is just running his oh-so-charming mouth,” Julia said sharply, calling the Smith brothers’ chit-chat to a screeching halt. “Here’s what I think actually happened: Conrad made up a story in his head, decided it was funny, and now he’s done so many mental gymnastics convincing himself it’s true that he believes it too.” Her head swiveled on her neck, only adding to her overall mean girl vibe. “That’s something Connie likes to do, you see, mix up details from stupid made-up bullshit and real life, then decide it’s all real.” Oh. Oh! If she thought he was gonna be easy pickings just because he’d brought a date along tonight, she had another thing coming! Hell, she hadn’t been paying attention to his whole deal! Jules was the one who got embarrassed by this shit when other people were watching—Conrad reveled in it. So he did the one thing he knew would get her goat (the only move a self-respecting sibling could take in a situation such as this): He brought up the bathtub. “If this is about human soup guy, you’re actually calling Dad a liar and not me, sooo…nice try, but my feelings remain totally unhurt.” Then, he waited for what he knew would come next. He held Julia’s gaze. He took a drink. It was Daniel, God bless him, who finally bit. “…human…soup…guy?”

the tale(s) of the champion

“All right. If you are so…determined to have me discuss Hawke, then fine. I will discuss Hawke.” He leaned forward over his desk, a gesture, she thought, meant less to evoke authority than to simply steady himself as he braced against the unpleasant tide of memory. His eyes found hers for only a moment, but that moment was all it took for her to understand perhaps ‘unpleasant’ was too delicate a word to describe a return to Kirkwall. ‘Agonizing,’ maybe. ‘Wretched.’ “Cassandra and I are of a mind on one thing, at the very least—Varric is a liar. However. I would be remiss if I didn’t draw your attention to the one thing, the only thing, I’ve heard him say about our shared time in Kirkwall that at least approaches the truth.” She couldn’t help but notice that Cullen spoke the city’s name in much the same way Hawke had spoken Elthina’s: as though it tasted bitter on his tongue. “Namely, if, for whatever reason, you wanted to find Hawke,” he continued, speaking with a terrible evenness that smacked of everything but calm, “All you had to do was follow the blood. “What blood? Whose blood? Some might argue that since Hawke killed so often, so indiscriminately, that it wouldn’t matter—couldn’t matter—which blood trail you picked. Oh, I’ve heard the jokes. I’ve heard them all. How it must’ve sometimes seemed Kirkwall was populated solely by nameless, faceless throngs of gangs and ruffians that she cut through at nightfall, slashing and hacking her way towards the betterment of the city. How Varric had to keep a running tally of all the vendettas held against her, lest she forget which seedy element might be coming after her next for putting an end to their leader. Hilarious. Truly.” Had Cullen not been wearing his gloves, the Inquisitor had the singular sense she’d be watching his knuckles turn white as bone; the way he’d taken to gripping the edges of his desk, she was a bit shocked that nothing had given way. Yet.

A MYSTERY CREEPS PROJECT OOOOOOOOOOH!!!

"Which is why, boys and ghouls, we’re gonna be packing our bags and taking a roadtrip this weekend.” Which was…also what Ashley was afraid he was going to say. Her shoulders slumped, and she felt Chris turn to her as he noticed, but Josh kept going, as he was wont to do. “Turns out ‘ghost shit’ was a gross understatement. You lovely ladies aren’t going to believe what a little snooping dug up about this place…” “It’s pretty messed up,” Chris nodded. “But pretty messed up in a way that I gotta admit sounds like it’s gonna make a juicy episode or two.” “Or five. So c’mon, hop to. We got a business dinner to catch—on me, obvs—and details to hammer out. You’re not ready for the shit that went down over there. Hope you’re ready to start trending in the true-crime feeds though, because I know I am!” Dropping the book back on the table, Josh hopped to his feet and playfully tweaked Sam’s ear before starting back for the microfiche where he’d left all his stuff. “Hey Edgar,” he said as he passed him by, “level with me here. Have you been a ghost this whole time? Is that why you know all this crap? When we get in the elevator and leave this floor, do you just poof off into the ether and cease existing until we come back?” In a voice so flat, so disaffected, so wistful, that Ashley very nearly forgot about the pang of fear that had seized her at the sight of those five Death cards staring her straight in the face, Edgar sighed, “Don’t I wish.”

[gurugirl]

Guruuuuuuuuu it's meeeeeee 🍸 Tomorrow is the weekend and my brother is coming to town to visit and he wants me to entertain him but I'm exhausted so wish me luck! And I've been meaning to stop in and say hi but I've been so busy since I was promoted at my firm. Just everything has been a big whirlwind. But I love it.

Update ~ My ex (the one who I kept sleeping with after he broke up with me) is seeing someone else now! It's so funny too because the last time he tried to hook up with me apparently he was dating her and I almost gave him and invited him over too. I'm so glad I was too tired because when I found out he'd been seeing this chick (who I know by the way but that's a different story) I was like doing the timeline in my head and yeah... it's very possible I slept with him while they were dating but as far as I know they're not exclusive but for me that's an ick. I'm not casual like that. So I had to go get STD tested and that's when I decided to block him completely. I am a well educated, grown adult who is on her way to some very successful career and saving up to buy a house (on track for end of year) and I'm fucking around with some loser asshole still? So yeah... that's all in the past and I know last time I said it was over with us but this time it's for real 😅

How have you been?? How's school and Mexico and your adorable dog?

Also I just read the ex's dad Harry last night and I'm absolutely hooked already. I don't make it on tumblr often anymore unless I need to shut my brain off after a grueling day at work but for this one? Honey let me tell you how well written and absolutely gripping it is and it's only part 1. No one does that tension like you and this one is no different. So I'm just here to tell you that I will be reading this series and opening up Tumblr every week for this one because it's so good already. Not one paragraph was boring or out of place. That's such a pet peeve of mine when I'm really into a good story and there's a chunk that absolutely does nothing to move the plot forward or it's just for funsies but that takes me right out of the experience of reading when a writer starts to add too much just for bulk.

tootles! -🍸

OH MY GOSH! I've been wondering how you've been! Congrats on the promotion attorney girl!! Amazing! You are such an inspo! 🎉 Busy is good when you're doing something you love! And I hope you have an amazing time with your brother. How nice that he's coming to visit! I miss my brother like you can't even imagine so it's making me all teary eyed just thinking about it.

And I'm so glad you are officially done with the ex. What a weirdo trying to sleep with you while he was seeing someone else. LOL. Men just aren't always the smartest but you were right to get tested because you never know. Smart girl!

And things are good here! The weather is warming up so midday is quite warm! School is good! I took an accelerated communications class and just finished that one (8 week condensed class) and now I'm just waiting on grades to be posted and still have another class I'm taking currently but I think spring break is soon? Also my dog is so fun. He's kind of showing his age these days but he gets 3 good walks every day so he's not just relegated to using the bathroom in our backyard. The walks help with his mind and his body and it puts him in a good mood (me too lol). He has pups he likes to play with up the street but that wears him out and he limps back home after he plays with them because his hips are sort of aging so he usually winds up resting for hours after 20 minutes of playtime. Anyway I could go on about Barry... he's the love of my life (don't tell my SO lol).

So happy to hear your thoughts on ex-boyfriend's dad! Thank you hon! I'm so flattered 🥰 Love that you enjoyed it!!

xoxo

[avemstella]

Random fic updates because I realize it's been a while for all my fics and wanted to let yall know.

I've actually written a lot! I just suffer from much of it being scattered about, so it's not remotely postable until I write the stuff to bring all the pieces together haha.

Most notably, my Neuvi fic is the worst offender of that. I've written what is probably 20k of it (about half is in a notebook so that's why it's an estimate) and uh, it's nowhere near done, good lord. I've written the beginning, a ton of the end, and some random middle bits (of that is 5k of Neuvi interacting with 2 characters who were not in the draft pfft). While I'm loving it, it also was driving me mad, so I've taken a break to write smfwtwd, as I really didn't mean to leave u guys hanging on that cliffhanger for so long lol. Also, I've decided the Neuvi fic will have multiple chapters, probably 3 (I really underestimated how much room I would need for the different parts of his life).

On smfwtwd, it's going really well! I've written a bunch this week and I think I should be done within the week (though with posting I do have to account for editor sister's schedule). A bunch is in a notebook, so word count is ??? but I do think it'll be, while not short by any metric, just for the time it took to come out it's not massive. But I do really like what I've written so far, Dottore is so fun to write haha (also the continued saga of Childe having to grapple with family issues both his own and everyone around him pfft).

I'm sorry Venti fic u will come out when u come out. I think I'll work on a chapter (or two or whatever) right after smfwtwd chap, or I'll finish the first Neuvi chap and then work on it. We shall see. You've been on my brain a lot lately, and I've been super tempted to add a whole extra arc to this fic because of my Fontaine related brainrots. But while I do think it would be really good and does help set up something nicely, I also think it would really fuck up my pacing (not that my pacing is great in the first place, but it would be a big pain to make work without really derailing the narrative for a couple chapters), so I think I'll restrain myself. However, saying that there is a real chance there will be a side story to my side story at some point pfft.

But yeah, if anyone's curious, between my warring desires to write smfwtwd and all my Furina ideas at the same time, going home for a while for christmas, and a slew of other smaller things, my writing schedule has been a mess pfft. Also, there's an incredibly high chance I'm getting a dog and that's been a whole thing that's been highly distracting. Also blame ace attorney haha (to clarify no fic for that coming at all, I've just been finally going through all the games).

Anyway, while that is a lot, I currently feel a lot better about my plan for writing and stuff should hopefully be coming out semi-soon. Thank you for being patient!

[recurring-polynya]

Writing Update/Art Update 5/9/2023

Many things happened last week. Not very many of them were drawing. I'll get back to that.

I have finally started posting the big (it's not really big. Medium-big. It just felt big) fanfic that I have working on for most of the year. You can start here if you want to read it, Chapters 1-3 are currently available.

I finished the smut. I had mostly finished it by Friday, but then we had a belated-because-we-were-waiting-for-spring-weather backyard birthday party for my daughter this past weekend, so I had to spend a solid 48 hours in the paralyzing deathgrip of anxiety at the prospect of socializing with people I don't know (the parents of some of my daughter's classmates), so I didn't get much of anything else done, although I did clean my house and buy a bunch of hot dogs.

I only got one doodle done this week, which took me three days, spread out over the anxiety deathgrip, but I'm pretty pleased with how it came out. I really would like to start on a more serious project this week, but I may get back to them, we'll see how it goes. I do want to thank everyone who sent in prompts, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to more of them. Turns out I'm real bad at doing quick, fast-turnaround doodles! Is anyone surprised??

After that, like, I said, I finished up the porno. I was hoping to post it yesterday, but it was pretty late at night by the time I finished my editing sweep. Today was a go places posting day and I didn't really want to post two different fanfics in one day, plus I had made kind of a lot of edits, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a day and then do another sweep before posting. In other words, tomorrow, probably.

This morning, I re-read what I've gotten written so far of Ductwork, which is the working title of the next story in the Heart is a Muscle. It's 7707 words at the moment, and I get hot mad every time I read it because I want there to be more of it, and unfortunately, there is only one way to make that happen. But it's gonna!! I keep telling myself that it was really worthwhile to have taken the time to write go places first, because Ductwork is largely about Rukia and Renji finally digging down into a lot of festering insecurities from that time in their afterlives. I have a couple different approaches to writing these days, and I'm gonna try to do the thing that ended up working for go places, which is 1) try to write something every day, 2) chronological schmonological, write whatever I can possibily come up with, I'll just cram it all together at the end, this was very fun and easy last time and definitely did not take six drafts and a color-coded spreadsheet. Based on past experience, I do not think I am going to be able to power through to completion, so my goal is to add at least 20k words to the thing before I flame out in a blaze of beautiful depression and spend the rest of the summer on something insane, like bringing back the Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU. My overall prediction is that it will be around 60k, but I'm not discounting the possibility that it could be another 100k-er. (it better not go over 120k tho, I will die for real)

Anyway, that was my week! Whew!

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI HELLO HI HI DANI🌻🌻🌻

I HAVEN’T BEEN HERE IN WHAT?? months??

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN????? I MISSED YOU!! And the Tumblr chaos as well.

Life update: the past six months have been shit?? I had a mysterious illness lmao and some other crazy shit happened but I finally finished my masters and now I’m a post grad in public health??? truly thought for a minute there that this degree will finish me before I finish it. But I just came back from Goa and the moved out of Bombay (Shahrukh Khan; you will be terribly missed). I mean not everything was bad—there was sone good in between too but it’s my life motto to be as dramatic as possible!!.

Anyways, BIG NEWS, I might be moving to Sri Lanka for a few months for this new project?? It’s not finalised yet (I’m only like 30% sure for now) but there’s a big chance that I might cause it seems like amazing work in the health sector and the location is fucking bangers. Living in Bombay has made me realise that I’m a sea person ooofff>>>

Also, I finished part 1 of LRHWY last night finally lmao. Only took me a year lol. I’m starting the amnesia and murder mystery au now and part II now that I finally have some time free.

You are writing another MAVID Pain fic?? I’ve been through hell in these past few months dani this is not what I need right now. I will first read that parent LB fic though.

Once again, HOW ARE YOU????????? pls tell me someone had a better time than I was having these past few months ffs shsjsjjkkl

Here’s a picture of a sunrise from Goa.

Eeshu! Hello!

I'm so sorry the last six months were so difficult. But I am so proud of you for managing to get so much done (and so brilliantly!) despite the challenges.

I'm even more proud that you came back and finished LRHWY. It always gives me hope when writers come back to fics because even though we are not writing them, it doesn't mean we're not thinking about them :)

Congratulations on your degree and on completing this marvelous story! You totally deserved that break in Goa.

I hope you are settling into your new place well. Please take it easy.

The last six months for me were just working + writing. I managed to complete one of the big projects and published a book (for work!) and now we're moving into the second phase of the project which will run for the rest of the year. So, I'm gearing up my team for that.

I myself am currently in Thailand (for work - sigh) but I am hoping to stay back for a week after my work thingy and have some fun. So, I'm really looking forward to being done with May and starting Pride Month with a bang hehe.

You will most definitely enjoy Sri Lanka. But remember to not go down south because even though they have the 'beach towns' they are full of tourists and are very....overwhelming. If you like party beaches, then that's the place. But if you want to enjoy the ocean and its beauty and just chill in peace, always go to the East <3

Sending love x

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning!!! we woke up before the snow but it’s gonna snow so soon!! also I woke from the DEEPEST sleep omg really took a while for my conscious mind to come back online lol. I must’ve been at a weird point in a sleep cycle. now I am blearily drinking coffee in bed. I don’t have any meetings until 9 so I can lounge for a bit before I have to get ready :)

chatty life updates: I am re-housetraining ruthie and it’s going really well! she gets a little bit of cheese every time she uses the bathroom outside so she’s started announcing to me when it’s time for her SPECIAL TREATS. I am also just trying to be better about watching her closely during the day and taking her out as soon as she starts wandering around the house sniffing stuff. I think the mistake was I put her on Pip’s schedule but he’s bigger than her and can hold it longer. so she may just consistently need a couple extra breaks during the day. anyway fingers crossed for no more accidents that was not my favorite phase!!

mm okay. I have one million errands to run but I don’t think this will be a great weather day for it so I’ll probably put those off sigh. here’s the day:

up at 6:15, coffee/lounge, emails

email car leasing company ughhhh

7:45-8:15 shower & get ready

8:15-9 chop veggies and make big veggie scramble for the week!

tape up UPS return and haul it outside in case they come by for it (THEY DID HURRAH!!)

9-9:30 HR team mtg

9:30-10:30 finish making the veggie scramble and answer emails

10:30-11:30 AS mtg

11:30-12:30 ok jes you can take a ~30 min break now but at 12 please grab your laptop and look for those rec letter drafts.

12:30-1 review module with CH (ask about org chart graphic)

1-2 make module edits as needed, send a zoom link to AU, and maybe call FSC?

2-3 AU mtg (yay!)

walk dogs if weather permits (Pip won’t want to go but Ruthie loves the snow)

there’s a hockey game at 4 but I don’t think I’m going to plan the day around it. might put it on the radio while I meal prep or something but I’m turning it off if the vibes are bad

finish SD’s rec letter

read my library book for 60 minutes (three 20 min bursts throughout the day)

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

hey everyone, I'm still alive! and! I have a writing update!

I haven't done any writing.

okok that's not totally true, I've done bits and pieces since I published 'i still talk to you' (link here, I had fun with that one) but I'm nowhere close to having anything ready to publish. Still, I figured I'd give y'all a (totally sober, for once) update on where I'm at in the stories I've promised.

So, okay, the big one first: TMHYHM. I've got about 3k of chapter 9 done, so we're about halfway through it. I'm starting school again in a few days (senior year, woohoo) and I always seem to write better at school, so we're keeping our fingers crossed that it'll get done in the next few weeks. About ten days from now is the one year anniversary of me 1: starting my AO3 account and 2: publishing chapter one of TMHYHM which is.... both exciting and a little sad? Genuinely didn't expect this story to take so long, but here we are.

A lovely commenter pointed out that I must put a lot into each chapter, and I honestly hadn't really thought much about it but they're right. I'm not gonna ramble about it for much longer, but every chapter takes a lot of time and energy. There was the re-read I did to write down the main plot points I wanted to hit every chapter, and then scouring the internet for quotes to put in once I decided I wanted to go that direction, and then I re-read each individual chapter twice; the first time to get more specific with what happens each chapter, finding places to put extra scenes etc. and a second time to figure out a chapter title. Actually writing the chapters is a lot too. I put a lot of myself and my experience into my interpretation of Andrew, and I feel like it fleshes him out more, but it also makes these chapters so much more mentally draining to write. Anyway, all that to say: happy early birthday to TMHYHM and thank you all for your patience.

Okay anyway, some of you may remember that I started teasing a hospital/amnesia fic (here, here, and here) a month ago during the AO3 outage, and I've almost got three chapters finished (halfway done !) I decided a few months ago that I wasn't going to post multi-part fics until after they're finished from now on, so as soon as I finish the whole thing it'll be up. I took a break from it for a little while, but when I came back and read through it today I genuinely cried a little? I'm evil guys why do I write these things??

Third: the minyard triplets. I'm going to be so honest here, I have not made any progress since last time I updated yall. Looking back at the story, I'm honestly kinda starting to hate it? I don't know, I still like parts of it but it just doesn't feel anywhere close to being my best work. I'll keep working on it and hopefully finish it soon, but I don't know when it'll be done. I had thought about turning it into a series, but I'm just not sure how attainable that is anymore.

Also, you may or may not have read my last fic, but if you did: I'm working on an alternate ending!!! I can't say much (cause spoilers) but I'm working very hard on it so keep an eye out for that one. Not sure if it'll be a separate fic or just a second chapter, but it's coming.

ok uhhhhhh.... i think that's it? TLDR: I don't have a lot of answers for y'all, but I'm working on things.

Oh, also? I'm writing a book. So fics might go on the backburner for a little bit lol. Let me know if that's something you'd like to hear more about though, I'm super excited.

Thank you for all your love and support <3

[jodilin65]

SUNDAY, JUNE 30, 1991 I told Ma all about what’s been happening when she called last night. She says I should be getting a package soon and also, she won’t be up till September.

I touched base with Tammy too, about what’s been going on with me, and her as well.

Before I write about the band, Maliheh, and the warts, I’ll update what else has been happening. First, I’m ticked off at Andy for delaying my money which I’ll probably get in the next few days. Now, as you know, I get paid on the 1st of each month and I make so little, so I can always use the money. What angers me is how he had me believing I’d get the money at the end of the month when I’m totally broke. He tried calling the night before last but I had stepped out to get cigarettes. He’d better call soon and tell me what the hell’s going on.

I finally heard from Hank about a week ago who was in the hospital, and tried to reach Jenny and Jai about coming up. Jai’s seen the place, of course, but I have not seen Jenny in ages and I miss her. She’s so sweet.

Last night I spoke to Steve who’s going to Chicago to see his two boys but will be back July 8th. I told Steve I was tired of waiting for Jessie to either call about visiting and bringing my bathing suits up or mailing them. Steve said he’d get the suits for me. She’s had these suits for over a year now.

Later…

I took time out to cook a pork chop with applesauce and I chatted with Kim. I also called and spoke with Jai and Jenny who seem to be doing well. They’re coming to see me within the next couple of weeks.

After my checks for the rent, gas, phone, and electricity clear, I’m going to close my checking account with SIS. When I say “gas” bill, that means the heat. I thought that the AC bill was that same bill, too, but I guess not. I thought they were the same bill cuz they come from the same place. There are 5 8” vents in this whole huge place. Can you imagine that? Those 5 tiny vents do a fine job, though, considering how big this place is. It’s definitely not 1200 square feet either. Kim’s is, but this one is 1400 square feet for sure.

I mailed the pictures Dad took to Tammy who was quite impressed when she saw them. Who wouldn’t be?

Anyway, as far as the AC goes, it goes on the electric bill.

I have just begun to get a tan. Of course, I have a very long way to go, but at least my hair is finally down to my waist. It isn’t in the finest condition, but I’d rather have long dead hair, rather than short healthy hair.

I did a little bit of rearranging here today. Nothing major, but the usual swapping things around I do every month or two.

It’s amazing how I’ve been up in the daytime, have had fewer all-nighters here, and today it was so cool and dry. I got up at noon and it was somewhat overcast till almost 4:00. Today was a far cry better than the 3 days we had before. It was 100º and incredibly humid. Keeping the central air on was a must. You couldn’t even breathe outside and there was no way I was going to tan. Lying on that blacktop will scorch you well enough.

Shortly after I got up, I vacuumed out the stairwell and played with Shadow for hours. God, is he ever getting huge. He’s up to 12 pounds now. Last night, just as the sun was going down, I opened the door downstairs, put him on his leash and basically ran around like a kid.

It’s so nice to sit there and feel the cool air with a great breeze and drink coffee or smoke cigarettes. I did that tonight too, and it still feels so beachy. Even Jai agreed when he was here that he felt like he was on Long Island Sound.

Ok, time to tell the wart story now. I decided I would follow up with it so Kim took me to the GYN Dr. Leitch referred me to. Before we went she said, “Maybe you can will them away.”

I laughed and she then said, “Well, I’ve seen the things you can do.”

So, of course, anyone would wish they could make it go away in a blink of an eye, but I was surprised after the pelvic exam. When the doctor. finished he said he knew Dr. Leitch to be a good doctor, but that I had no warts. At first, I was pissed at Dr. Leitch for having me terrified for nothing till I realized he is only human. Humans do make mistakes and he did bring my asthma under control. I figured it’s better to end up having been scared for nothing, rather than a valid reason.

Kim insists I willed it away. Maybe I did do something, maybe not. I sure still wish I could will away the cigarettes as I did with the Navane.

I’m going to listen to music now but will be back next month which is in half an hour.

FRIDAY, JUNE 28, 1991 The last few days have been really weird. Yeah, I willed my warts away, met a woman I’m finally attracted to, made a prank call, and got in a band.”

I at least think I got into a band. I should know tomorrow night for sure.

Since I mentioned North Star, I’ll write about my trip to Pearl St. I thought North Star was so fancy. Pearl St. is even fancier. Kim and I planned to go last Saturday when we went to North Star. Pearl St. is only gay Wednesday nights.

First, as I figured, that girl who looked like Gloria never called. Secondly, Mark gave me The Advocate with an ad in a local town called Montague looking for a female vocalist. Mark was also telling me how he reads the person-to-personals just for kicks. I do, too. There are several amazing and humorous ads. My eye caught one that seemed ok, so I left a message and my number on this answering system you call and punch in the code for that particular ad. It’s better than that 900-line thing as it’s more discreet. Only Tanya, the girl I left the message for, hears my message. Unless you leave a message for anyone on the main line. I’d forgotten all about it till she called the next evening and we spoke for 20 minutes or so and she said that she too was to be at Pearl St. on Wed. The night before we were to meet, she called me and we spoke for almost two hours. I was very impressed, but when I met her, as usual, I was not attracted to her. She wasn’t a major butch, but again, not at all appealing. Her body was so-so but her hair and face did nothing for me. She was very nice though, but I had to be honest and tell her that I had to be attracted both inside and outside.

To me, being attracted on the inside, but not the outside, is like eating a raw steak. It’s a half-assed ordeal.

Then, I noticed a girl with nice long hair who was sitting with two obvious lesbians. Even though this girl had beautiful hair, her face was so-so and the dress she wore was hideous. I was out to be friendly anyway. When I approached the 3 of them and said my name, one girl said, “Does this work for you? I mean, I always wanted to be able to just walk up to a woman myself.”

I told them, no it doesn’t work as they’re either straight, gay and taken or gay and not interested. They laughed and I went back to where Kim and Tanya were sitting.

SUNDAY, JUNE 23, 1991 Well, I have decided to call about that thing I last wrote about. After discussing it with Mom and Tammy who say it’s common and doesn’t hurt I figured I should get it over with. Whether I’m having sex or not, it’s time I end the itching, burning, bloated feeling I always have.

I spoke with Andy who’s still enjoying Phoenix but can’t stand the people.

Last night was pretty amazing. Kim and I went to a gay bar called North Star Seafood since Pearl St. is only gay on Wed. nights. Bill’s boyfriend Arthur told me about it and that it’s a restaurant in the daytime but at night it’s a gay women’s bar. It was small as Kim said it was but very fancy. It makes the Pub look like a dive. Sure there were several butches in there but there were a few that were ok.

The first one I spoke to was about a 5 but she said she was straight. The next one was an 8 with nice waist-length hair, tall, and wore an awesome outfit. She never said whether she was gay or straight, but she did tell me she sells jewelry and was traveling the east coast from San Francisco.

Then, right before we left, man did I get the shock of my life. She was a perfect 10 and Gloria to a T!! Except that her face didn’t really look like Gloria’s, but it was still beautiful. I mean, she was gorgeous! If I saw her from behind I’d think she was Gloria. She had long dark curly hair, dark skin and eyes, and a nice body. She wore a black dress such as Gloria would wear.

She walked to the payphone and I followed and I told her how I recently moved and was meeting new people and how I felt like the only feminine gay woman in the world and that she was gorgeous. She hugged me and said she was married with 3 kids but was bi. Also, she told me she was really flattered and she really did seem it. She was just so friendly and I gave her my name and number. Of course, I know not to expect her to call me as God surely knows I’m attracted to her, but it’s so nice to see another feminine woman who’s gay or bi. Maybe they do really exist here and there other than in Spfld.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19, 1991 Yesterday turned out to be a horrible day. I didn’t go grocery shopping, nor did I tan. Instead, I ended up at Dr. Leitch’s office as I no longer could stand my sinus problem. My nose was swollen and tingling. The pressure in my head was too much as well as the hot flashes. Also, I was still itchy and red and had discharges down below. So, he said this time he’d try a very strong antibiotic and that I may need a few rounds of it. As for down below, well, he took a swab to send that to the lab and they’ll let me know, but get this - I have warts. I said I was gay and hadn’t been with many people or for very long. He said it may or may not be sexually transmitted. He said it could be caused by too much moisture. Also, my being with a woman will make my chances of serious diseases practically zero. Diseases like aids, syphilis or gonorrhea, but a person could have a virus in their mouth or on their finger and not even know it. Meanwhile, he says I need to see a GYN and they burn them and it’s not painful and it takes only 10 minutes. He said it’s not serious, but that I’ve had it for a while and it could get worse.

I’m still debating on whether or not to see a GYN as I have had it a long time, so how much worse can it get? Also, I planned never to be with anyone again cuz of not getting anyone I’m really attracted to. Nor do I want to go through the hassle and stress of being with someone even part-time.

I was right about those suspicions I’ve had for so long. Whether I have sex with a male or a female it’s like it’s a sin for me. Maybe not for some people, but it seems that way for me it is. I’ve always felt I would be punished and I was right. All the more reason I will never have sex again for sure. I have definitely resigned for life.

I called Tammy and she had that procedure done too and she said she was terrified at first, but it didn’t hurt at all. She told me they don’t even need to go in and that they just put a topical medication on the outer lips and you feel a very slight burning sensation and that’s all. She told me that after Becky was born she had a lot of bleeding and that all the moisture is what caused it. She told me not to blame Brenda, though, as it may be from the moisture of the discharges I’ve had or if Brenda did have a virus, she may not have known. I still have to think about it, though, and I also have other things to write about that are on my mind, but I’ll do it later.

TUESDAY, JUNE 18, 1991 I’ll not write too long as I’d like to try to go back to sleep soon. I had a fairly productive day today and finally got my food stamps. I got a few things to hold me over until tomorrow night when I go to Food Fart with Kim. However, I’m dying for my coffee!

I received the pictures in the mail today that Dad took of the place when he was here. They came out well. I also got some pictures of Tammy, Bill, and the girls. The girls look fantastic but Tammy looked like she was sick that day.

It’s funny how Tammy’s had the same hairstyle for years and always wears the same clothes while I’m so into variety. Kim told Dad what most people would agree on. When she comes over here she never knows what my hair’s gonna look like or what I’ll be wearing.

Hank called a few hours ago. He was in the hospital as I suspected. He had a valve in his heart closed.

Another thing is, if a phone you’re using has call forwarding, you could check for that if you know how. By pressing 72# and if you get a busy signal, you’d know that phone didn’t have it. You couldn’t check for call-waiting unless you were talking to someone and it beeped. Then you’d know if it was on the line. 3-way calling, you don’t have to check for or be familiar with to figure it out. For example, if you call 411 to get a number, then hit the receiver to make a call, you get an instant dial tone if it didn’t have it. If it did, it beeps 3 times, then you’d get a steady dial tone.

The last time I spoke with Ma, she had mentioned the “extras” and I told her, I didn’t have any “extras.” Well, of course, I do not have call-waiting or call-forwarding and I never intend to get them. I don’t need them. However, I’d hate to live without 3-way calling, which I got a month or so after I moved here. So, after I told Ma I didn’t have any extras she goes, “Mhm,” in a tone of voice as if to say, “You’re full of shit.” After I hung up from her was when I realized that Dad probably caught that when he was using the phone to call Ma with his calling card.

Of course, what it all comes down to once again, is I’m an adult so I’ll have on my line whatever I damn please.

Later…

Well, it looks like I’m going to be up for a while, so I might as well continue with the past. First of all, it was through Crystal that I met Mary D and I’ve already gone through her story.

Mike, I met after Al L, but I don’t remember his last name. Al, as I’ve already stated many journals ago, was the most hideous creature of all 6 guys I slept with. Jessie, Steve and Andy also agree, he is a pitiful person as well. Only Ron and Al out of the 6 guys, were for more than one night. Al wasn’t for too many nights, though, and I’ll never miss him. It’s no wonder he was so insecure and had been alone for years before I met him. His attitude was sick and pathetic. So rude and negative and I’ve never seen someone so eager to cut a person down. He was so downgrading. And he really thought in his mind that he was a wonderful person. In the end, I didn’t lose him. He lost me and if I had ever run into him in public, I’d spit on his face and walk away.

Mike, I met through these two brothers, Jim and Joe P. Jim’s the one who had a band and so did Joe till Joe had personal problems and Jim went into business. Jim owned a cleaning service for a while and I worked for him. This was when I first moved back to Woodside Terrace. While still on Oswego St., though, Mike was a roommate of Jim’s who I had a one-nighter with. He honestly told me up front he had a girlfriend, and I didn’t want a relationship with a guy. Of course, if I met him today, I wouldn’t sleep with him any more than I would with a butch. I’d sleep with no one if I could not get a decent enough woman. Mike was very friendly and very gentle and I’d probably have been very attracted to him if I was straight. When he first came over we talked, had coffee and agreed on only oral sex. He did a nice job down there.

Next, I’ll write about Tammy W, then Andy and Jessie, but I think I’ll go take a shower now. Then I may walk down to the coffee shop at Cumberland’s. Later, I’ll also have to go talk to that guy at the Chowder House about a part-time job there.

Later…

I am now in this little breakfast place that sort of reminds me of Dunkin Donuts. God only knows I don’t miss Springfield, although, I wish there was a Food Mart close by. Soon, I’m gonna go back home and try to catch some sleep, then get up to go to the Chowder House.

Later…

It’s amazing how friendly the people were to me at the breakfast place. I mean the man and the woman that worked there today and yesterday when I was there. I told them how I talked to this guy at a seafood place (the Chowder House) about a job as I simply need the extra money. So desperately that I’d even work 4-5 days. Especially since I see I’ll never be a singer and have been living on that dream for 25 years that seemed so real and so destined it had me fooled for so long. For 25 years. They told me to speak to the owners in the afternoon hours if the Chowder House doesn’t fall through.

I think it will, though, as I already met with Bob who’s the owner of the Chowder House and we discussed it and he showed me around. It’s small but nice and from what he tells me and these two girls tell me, the tips are good.

Those two girls, Tina and Kathy are so nice. This town amazes me. Especially Kathy, who I think might be gay, even though she says she’s married and hates her husband. You can somewhat tell she might be gay, but she’s not ugly and seems very friendly and outgoing. She’s a lot like me in speaking her mind and being open-minded. Two other things suggested she may be gay. One was that she used to do drugs. Two, her name is Kathy. Every Kathy, Ann, Mary, Carol, and Karen in the world is gay just about.

So anyway, last Saturday when I met Bob, he told me we’d meet again Tuesday or Wednesday. I just called him and he said he’s going to Springfield today, so tomorrow before 11 AM we’ll meet. That’s good.

When I fell asleep yesterday, I’d been up 18 hours or so, so I expected not to sleep only 4 hours. However, I woke up with an attack as I hadn’t had my Theodur in almost two days. When I got up I took it, as Kim got my refill and after an hour and a half, the attack died out.

At 9:30 or so last night, Tammy called and I spoke to her briefly, making no sense at all. I was still quite exhausted till I showered and ate. Tammy, Bill, and the girls may be coming up this weekend. I never thought she’d get here until the year 2000.

I could wait for the sun to come out more and finally get that tan I want. If I do that, though, I won’t be able to go grocery shopping later. I’ve been up since 8:30 last night. Then again, I don’t think I’ll fall asleep for a long while yet anyway. I guess I’ll get a tan.

SATURDAY, JUNE 15, 1991 After 6 or 7 months of Ron, I ditched him from my life. That was at the beginning of February, I think, then on June 30th of 1987, I moved out of Woodside Terrace. It was a mutual agreement between the landlord and me as I was having problems with some of the other tenants. They were kind enough to let me take my time and they never gave me a legal eviction notice. If only I knew then what I know now, as I could’ve fought it in court and won cuz you know me. I’d never cause anyone major trouble unless they did shit to me. Other than calling people I don’t know or those that have given me a reason to dislike them, I don’t want hostility so close to home.

So, this was when I moved to Oswego St. which at the time was 10 times worse than Woodside Terrace. First, let me back up to Feb. when I met both Fran and Nervous who lived next to each other on the 1st floor.

Ron had worked as a maintenance guy at McDonald’s where we met. Fran had worked there also at one time, so that’s how they met. Before I moved, Fran got evicted and I met up with Stuart B who I went to Longmeadow High with. Stuart’s gay too, and also was not at home most of his teenage years. He and I have been friends now for 2½ years and I think he still lives on Locust St. where he’s been for 8 years now.

I feel our friendship ending was for the better as he was the same as Fran in most ways. Both Stuart and Fran and I could hold nice conversations and lots of laughs, but at the same time, they were too off the wall and unpredictable. And I thought I was once about as bad as you can get.

Around April before I moved I had a second roommate by the name of Barbara T. She was quickly in and out before a month was out. That was the one who only stole an afghan and some coasters which didn’t mean shit but rang up a $143 phone bill. When I called the phone co. about it, they removed it from my bill due to my good acting. However, I don’t think I could get that lucky again in a million years. God was with me that day.

As for Nervous, I met him one day in February when I had the flu and asked him for a ride to the ER. I liked Nervous so much till I found out what he was all about but keep in mind I’m not the same person I was when we met. If we were starting all over and I met him for the first time now, I’d never associate with him. His obsession with me back then pissed me off and rather embarrassed me cuz of the way he is. Today, I find it quite amusing and I know that that’s life no matter what kind of person you are or what you look like. I really miss his spying and my playing dead or crossed line with him. Also, I miss taping him and Fran or Andy. That, I’d do all over again if I could in a minute.

Later…

About half a year after I moved, my friendship with Jenny C and Mary C ended. Jenny and I had grown to be two totally different people. We had met in grade school. Mary was too flaky and never returned stuff she borrowed. Her brother was a loser, too.

I missed Nancy H who had lived next door to me on Woodside Terrace. She moved out a month after I did and got married.

I still spoke with Emily B every now and then and shortly after I moved, Larry and John sold my building and hers. Right before Larry and John sold out all their Springfield property, they evicted Nervous for not paying his rent. Nervous then stood at the Y and when he couldn’t afford that he was out sleeping in his car. Because he was so obnoxious and had a lousy attitude too much of the time, I wouldn’t take him in. Eventually, he got a room in a rooming house.

My neighbors were ok, except for Nellie and José, who stole checks and a boom box from me. The bank reimbursed my money, but I always liked Nellie and felt that she’d be a decent person if she weren’t a thief and a druggie.

Hank pissed me off at first till I shocked him by going after him. Not punching him or intending to harm him, but scaring some sense into him. I intended to go further if I ever needed to, but we became friendly. Hank began to respect me, not cuz he would’ve liked to get down my pants or cuz I was gay but cuz I wasn’t scared of him. He was going with the woman next door on and off and she was ok. I only got mad at her once when she accused me of fucking around with Hank when I was only downstairs talking to him or bumming smokes. Hank lived below me and Mattie lived next door and that night she pissed me off I chased her into her apartment. She beat me to it, slammed and locked the door and I stood outside it kicking it and screaming at the top of my lungs. I heard her calling the cops, so I ran inside my place, shut my lights off and just stayed there. They knocked on my door, but I never answered. Hank told me the next day Mattie was scared of me. I told him as pissed as I was and with all my cussing at her, I’d never be dumb or cruel enough to lay a hand on a 62-year-old woman. I told Hank if Mattie wanted to be friendly, so would I but to ask, rather than accuse me of anything.

The nicest and sanest neighbors I had were these two sisters who were in their late 60s. Anna and Julia. They lived next door to me on the other side of me. Also, Dotty, who lived on the 1st floor next to Hank.

There were two adjoining buildings, each with two apartments per floor. My side was the 1-bdm side and the other was the 2-bdm side. Very different from the Woodside-Locust complex and much smaller. All the apartments were big on Woodside-Locust. The Oswego St. ones were smaller.

Locust had three 1-bdm apartments per floor. Woodside had three 1-bdm apartments per floor and 1 studio per floor.

Next time I write, I’ll write about my third roommate, Crystal C. I’ll always have mixed emotions about Crystal, but she was definitely the best roommate when she wasn’t being lazy or stealing from me. When I remember Crystal, I feel sorrier for her than angry. We had things in common, such as our backgrounds and hit it off instantly. She and I had a lot of laughs and we made phone calls and ranked on Nervous together. She was hardly ever home, though, as she was too busy hanging with the wrong kinds of people. Such as her boyfriend who was always beating the shit out of her, yet she’d keep going back for more.

She’ll always be a lost cause and forever naïve. Always be a loser and know people who are losers. She’d have a much harder time attracting decent people than I ever would.

Sometimes I feel like a lost cause only cuz there’s no possible way to get anything I really want no matter how hard I tried and how much effort I put into it. If humans lived to be 1000 years old, I’d never be a singer or get even one night with someone I’m sexually attracted to, whether I tried to or not.

However, Crystal’s the type you could hand something to on a silver platter and she’d refuse it.

So, she moved out in either late Feb. or early March of 1988.

I really don’t feel like writing now even though I have nothing better to do. I’m bored and I’m hungry but can’t get my food stamps until tomorrow. Also, I feel like shit.

FRIDAY, JUNE 14, 1991 Now, I’m going to try to wrap up this story once and for all. Then, I’ll get back to the past. I called Laurie since I couldn’t reach Sergeant D. Right away she came out and she told me I had two options. One was they’d seek an arrest warrant. Two, was for me to be at the Police Department the following night at 7:00.

The next day I called Sergeant D collect and told him there was no way I could get there cuz I had no car and no ride. I told him how and why I recently moved and that Kim and Mark were the only ones I knew and they were at the Cape. I also explained that Dad was coming up and that I only see him once a year.

I was honest with him, yet tried to make him feel for me at the same time. Luckily he’s very sensitive and understanding to begin with. I told him that, yes, I did have a flaky side to me, but that I’m not a bad person. He said, “I know you’re not a bad person and I know why you left the city.”

Then, he put me on hold. While waiting for him, I realized he had spoken to cops who knew me. Especially as he was just so nice and gave me a 3-day continuance until next Sat. I knew Kim could drive me then.

We also discussed the warrant about Jenny C and I told him the whole story. He said that the courts take care of that and that I’d have to go there.

So right after Dad left I discussed it all with Kim and Mark. Kim agreed to drive me. She was a little nervous, but not overly worried. I was a little on edge about the warrant, but at the same time, I told myself not to worry. Kim and I both figured Laurie would be there but she wasn’t.

I dressed up nicely and carried myself as well as I could.

Sergeant D looked nothing like he sounded. He laughed when I told him he sounded older. In fact, he was very young and Kim thought he was cute.

After we spoke, I could tell he thought I was attractive and I could see that he was honest and friendly. Of all the times I wished I was ugly and could turn people off, I really appreciated my looks that night. They helped, along with my attitude and knowing other cops. Also being related to Jim who’s a lawyer.

Finally, Sergeant D said, “The case with Laurie is over as far as I’m concerned and out of my book. I’m not even going to have you go to court as prank phone calls are not our top priority. We don’t want the hassle any more than you do.”

Then we discussed the warrant and I told him I couldn’t get to court last Thursday or Friday and I planned to go Monday. He said the W. Springfield police would have to come and get me and hold me there till Mon. morning when the courthouse opens up.

As he was saying this, Kim and I mentioned my asthma and I pretended to be terrified.

Finally, Sergeant D said, “Well, there’s no bail on defaults, but I’m gonna call W. Springfield and try to talk to them along with the clerk from the courts. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try my best. Meanwhile, you’ll still need to go downstairs and give them general information.”

Kim waited upstairs in his office while he took me downstairs to that garage area I was in 3½ years ago when I called that pig. The one I supposedly threatened over the phone that threatened me in my cell, which was perfectly ok for him to do and get away with, along with the sexually harassing calls I later got as well. There, he left me with another plainclothes cop while he went to make those calls.

That cop was nice too, and we chatted here and there. Then, as two young cops in uniform came to get in a cruiser, one looked at me and said, “Ooh.” Then he asked me if I was a social worker. I said no and that I was a singer. He was confused cuz I wasn’t handcuffed. He asked why I was there. I told him, then he asked if I’d be around for a while. I said no and told him I lived in S. Deerfield.

When I finally got inside where the cells are and began to give the guy at the desk the information, I could see 3 cops in a room with glass windows. I read their lips. They basically commented on my looks.

Then, this other cop came and stood right next to me and says, “I like short girls with nice long hair. You wouldn’t mind a guy with buck teeth would you?”

I told him I had buck teeth, too.

Then, when the guy at the desk asked for my last name, the cop that hit on me said, “Jodi?”

Then it hit me who it was and I said, “John P?”

He said yes and asked how Andy was. Andy had met him on one of his nighttime walks with his Batman cape.

So, that was when the phone rang and the guy behind the desk said that W. Springfield wasn’t coming. Then another cop came around the corner saying to another cop, “She’s going to be ROR’d right out of here.” There were maybe 6 or 7 cops.

The guy at the desk then said, “I hate to put you in a cell but it’s for your own protection as someone violent could be brought in. You’ll only be there a half-hour till the clerk of court arrives.”

I said, “Am I going to be in a cell with other people who may be violent?”

John said, “Nope. You get your own room.”

Then the matron took me to a cell till I paid bail and got out half an hour later.

On the way home, Kim and I were amazed at how nice everyone was. No one at all gave me a cold shoulder. Kim was saying, “You are so lucky. They broke the law for you. There’s no bail on defaults.”

Mark was shocked when he heard about it, and the following Monday, he took me to court. Even though we weren’t there long, Mark found it interesting.

That Saturday night when I got home from what Kim and I described as an interesting and somewhat adventurous night, I called Sergeant D and thanked him.

I go to court again on September 12th. I do not know if Jenny will be there, but my guess is that she’d love to be. I hope she is and I’ll write why after the court date.

Wait till I show Kim just how many pages it took me to write about all this.

Later…

The last thing I wrote about in my past was when I ditched Ron and told my family I was gay. That wasn’t quite the end of my sexual encounters with men as I was still naïve. I still hadn’t learned how to say “no” and was still wondering, like most 21-year-olds no doubt, how do I go about acting on being gay and finding a woman? I still was insecure and had yet to learn that you just can’t make someone feel, want or think what they don’t want to. You can’t make someone want and love you. I still didn’t know that love was out and sex was in. At least it was the in-thing in 95% of the population. Yes, guys more so than gals. I still didn’t know about gay bars or what a butch was and that gay women looked like men and not like a woman which I wanted. I still thought I was one in many thousands. That’s until my aunt Ruth told me that being gay is not as unique as I thought it was and I read statistics saying how every 1 out of 10 people is gay. I still had not met other gay people with which we both discussed it face to face. I mean, I had met plenty of gays, but was too young to understand and had met many I suspected were gay. I think it was how ugly and unattractive gay women are that’s more disappointing than how fucked up so many people are. It was still to be a while before I learned all this, though.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12, 1991 Anyway, as I was last saying, I realized Laurie was awake so I once again said to hell with it. I called back without giving out any information and I got right to the point. She flipped on me immediately, denying she was gay and demanding a name. I hung up without telling her a thing and was curious as to why she’d lie about being gay. Usually, hardasses like herself tell it like it is with no fear. They’re the types who don’t give a shit whatsoever what someone else thinks. It was so obvious too by her looks, the sound of her voice and definitely her attitude.

I gave up on her for almost two months till I looked in the phonebook. There were 3 others with her last name listed so I called her mother and her sister-in-law. Her parents were pissed and her sister-in-law was too, then became friendly figuring I was trying to help Laurie. I told them both that Laurie was gay and told them Laurie was afraid to tell them. The mother was swearing at me and telling me it was Laurie’s business what she does. I asked the sister-in-law if she knew. She said no and that people’s sexual preferences are none of her business. She also said that Laurie knows she can talk to her and Laurie knows she works with a gay woman.

So finally late one night at 3 AM, I called her brother Tim and crossed her with Laurie. They were confused at first until I whispered, “Laurie.”

She goes, “What was that?”

Tim said, “Someone just whispered ‘Laurie’.”

Laurie asks, “Are you serious?”

Then after Tim said yes, Laurie told him to hang up and let his machine pick up to see if they could get a voice. So I did call the brother and left a tape of Nervous and Fran’s brother Rick fighting on his machine. I did this a few times till I called back begging for him to pick up the phone all the while playing to be the AT&T operator. He did, and I crossed him with Laurie.

Laurie immediately told Tim, “That woman’s on the line. I’m gonna kill you and pummel your face in. We’re gonna come down real hard on you, woman, as soon as we get a name. We know you’re connected with the hospital. That much we got.”

Tim said, “Laurie, when you get her, have her killed.”

She said, “With my very little hands.”

So finally I spoke up with all my wacky lines and really confused them as to who the fuck I am and where I am and how I have so much information. I told her how I saw her and liked what I saw.

I asked her how you get aids in your ear and she said she didn’t know. I said by listening to assholes and then she said she must have AIDS in her ear.

Tim asked me which one was going to be the dominant one and I began singing, Crazy in Love with You by Linda and Laurie said, “You are crazy for sure.”

I said I was half sane, half-insane.

Laurie says, “No, you’re leaning on a good 95% insane.”

I said, “Well, if you let me have a date with you, I’ll drop it to 90%.”

Finally, Tim told Laurie he thought the whole thing was amusing.

Laurie said, “Well, I don’t. Not at this point.”

Even though she was pissed, you could tell she was quite curious.

After Tim hung up, I told her at that time that I’d only seen her once and mentioned her lighting my cigarette. I never mentioned Kim’s name or my last name or address but I did give her my first name and phone number.

She swore she’d never harm me and said, “We all have our skeletons in the closet, but I don’t think you’re a bad person. I have the information now, Jodi, and I could do something if I wanted to, but I’m not going to. I give you my word as a woman and as a cop, I could but I won’t. However, if you agree to stop calling my family and call me here at a decent hour, I’ll talk to you.”

After I hung up, I realized she could find out who and where I am as I know so many cops. I also knew that if she were to speak to cops who know me, they’d put in a good word for me. I figured why worry about it anyway as yes, I was skeptical, but she really had me believing she was sincere.

The next day, I left two messages on her machine in the early afternoon. Plenty of time before she’s to be at work. I tried other times too, to reach her, but hung up as soon as I’d get the machine.

It was at that point that I started to get a bad feeling. Then, after 3 days of not hearing from her, I got a call from a Sergeant D at the police dept. At first, I hung up on the guy till I realized two things. One was that he and Laurie probably had found out my full name and where I live. Secondly, I noticed this guy sounded so nice and not “out to get me” in a bad way. He sounded much nicer than Laurie. At this point, I could see that Laurie would freak out over anything and was just another insensitive, lying butch.

I then went to call Sergeant D back, but he’d already left.

I called Laurie after that, who of course, had her answering machine on and said, “I want you both to call me back and I want to know why you lied.”

I’ll write more after I watch A Current Affair. I spoke to Andy last night so later I’ll write about that, too.

Later…

I watched A Current Affair but decided not to watch Unsolved Mysteries as it’s another repeat. You’d think that with all the crime in the world, they’d come up with new shows, but I guess not.

Last night when Andy called he played me a tape of some calls he’s made. They were funny. He said that as soon as he fills up the tape, he’ll mail it to me so I can edit it.

He also told me that he and a friend of his are going to see Gloria in July. He’s going to send me two tour books. Two cuz they put pictures back to back. We figure they’ll be $10 apiece so instead of him sending me $35, which he owes me, he’ll send $15. I told him to send me the money right away and that I’m mailing him a tape of the new edits.

Now to continue once again with Laurie, Sergeant D, and the bench warrant. The following night I went to the movies with Kim. Upon returning home there were two messages on my machine. First was Sergeant D, sounding friendly and patient, telling me he just wanted to run a few things by me and to call collect if I wanted to “save a dime.” Lord only knows what my phone bill is gonna be even though it was worth it.

The second message was from Laurie with a slight snobbish edge, although she was calm. She said, “Hi Jodi, this is Laurie H. If you’re there I’d appreciate you picking up the phone (pause). Well, obviously you have my number. Return the call and I’ll talk to you at this point. Thanks. Bye.”

First I tried reaching Sergeant D, but once again it was too late. He had gone home.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11, 1991 I’m not gonna write too long about Laurie or all the other stuff. I can barely keep my eyes open and only had 3 hours of sleep. I had to be up by 7:30 this morning. So, about Laurie…Kim found out her name and also that she was originally from Greenfield. Kim saw her 3 times or so and also had an instant feeling that she was gay, even though she doesn’t look overly butchy. So, one night before Kim left the ER, she saw Laurie going home in a wheelchair. Kim told me she was in uniform and had been hurt on duty. Kim didn’t know how she got hurt but informed me Laurie would be out of work for a few days.

Right after this discussion, I called 411 and got her no. Although it was 2 AM and my heart was pounding, I thought, “What the fuck?” Of course, I knew I’d never have a fling with her so I figured I’d just have fun. When she answered I realized the voice sounded much manlier than I remembered. Her attitude is that of a major bull butch, too. At first, I asked for a phony name and at that point, she was nice and told me I had the wrong number, of course. I hung up and then it hit me that she was fully awake. Second-shift people usually are at that time, but I’ll finish the story tomorrow.

I am zonked so I’m gonna listen to music, then crash.

MONDAY, JUNE 10, 1991 First I’ll write about my very interesting adventure which will bring my current life up to date. After that, I’ll go back into the past.

Well, cuz I never went to court for Jenny, there was a default warrant out as I figured there’d be. Before I get to that, though, I need to back up a bit and mention something else. They’re connected, though.

I’m not sure if I mentioned Laurie H or not. Nevertheless, I’ll run through it anyway. Once, right before I moved, I was in the ER and I noticed an attractive lady cop. I knew right away that cuz I liked her, God would never let me have her. So, I decided to play chase and snoop anyway like I usually do. The chase is always more enjoyable than the capture. Even though there never is a capture unless it’s someone I don’t want. After I left the ER and went outside to wait for Brenda to pick me up, she came out to her cruiser to smoke a cigarette. I asked her for a light so I could talk to her and get a better look. I noticed that yes, you could tell she was gay but she was pretty at the same time. Her hair was a little below her shoulders and she had beautiful brown eyes.

That was the last I saw of her. This was either directly before or after meeting Kim. After I moved, while Kim was still working at Baystate, she got some information on Laurie H.

After I see The People’s Court I’ll finish the story.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9, 1991 The last week and a half have been incredible! I have some amazing stories to cover. First of all, the visit with Dad was great. He also stood here overnight. He brought up a few knickknacks and we went out to dinner and then to Sugar Loaf Market. I sang him two songs and played the tape Bill made of the voice exercises. I also played him a few “appropriate” edits and I showed him my drawings and some new clothes. He saw the tape of the Frontier and the Pub performances and he really got into it. We watched TV, too.

Mom will be up in a month or two, she said, and told me how beautiful Dad thought the apartment was. He really freaked when he saw it and he took several pictures of it.

Both mom and Tammy called and mom asked me if I was sure nothing at all was included in the rent. When I said no, she said from now on they’ll send in a check for $150 rather than $140. That’s great. I’ll have an extra $10 and it’ll surely help.

Again I told her as soon as anything singing job comes up, I’ll notify her and I feel it will.

That guy Joe called that I met roller skating and we had a great talk. It makes me feel better knowing Kim and Mark have known him for years. He said I sounded very serious and determined, then he mentioned my fears before I did. As far as sleeping my way there, he said, I wouldn’t embarrass myself, either. We sang some Spanish over the phone and he knows Linda’s songs from her album Canciones de mi Padre. He says he’ll call soon.

I’m gonna go listen to music for a little while, then I’ll write about the most adventurous event I had earlier.

[standardquip]

Big "pond" Update

Previous update here.

Summary of last update: I had to disassemble my huge pond into 3 kiddie pools and 3 mixing bins to save the plants. That didn't stop wildlife from moving in.

---

My water lillies are in dire need of being split. So I bought a LARGE kiddie pool (that is also deeper), and a bunch of fabric pots, and I started trying to split my lillies last week.

The problem I noticed early was that I had waited so long to split my lillies that most of them were splitting into 3-4 plants (sometimes even 5 or 6) instead of 2.

Unsurprisingly, I ran out of fabric pots and I also had to run out and buy ANOTHER big kiddie pool to house all the extra lillies.

I'd only managed to empty 2 of the 3 mixing tubs so far. I still had the 3 small kiddie pools and that last mixing tub to deal with.

(the third kiddie pool is off-camera.)

Here's where I'm at with the 2 additional big kiddie pools: the top one is already completely full and the bottom one is about half full of lillies already.

I THINK I can fit the rest of the lillies (once they're split) into this large pool and then ONE of the smaller pools, but these large pools are only $18 at walmart so I may just buy a third one because....

Now I have fish [maybe].

Somehow.

I've only had a real, in-ground pond for like 4 years. But no, the fish show up this year. In a god damned kiddie pool.

It's been a while since I've seen frog tadpoles (the toad tadpoles took over years ago) but I don't know, guys. These look suspiciously very fish-like to me!!! What say you???

So I guess what I thought were frog eggs were actually fish eggs. How did they get there?? I have no freaking idea. And why now? IN A KIDDIE POOL. REALLY???? So if they manage to survive til Autumn, I guess I'll start an aquarium after all!

[edit: I'm now questioning myself. These could still be frog tadpoles!]

But wait, there's more!

I had a red slider turtle stop by last year in my big pond. Every year there's always a turtle that comes by, but they never stayed for long. Until last year. Last year, that turtle stayed ALL YEAR.

The turtle that passes through is very young. It's not that big. But today, a slider showed up that was adult-sized. I assume it's the same one from last year. It must be hella confused lol. I picked it up and moved it to one of the large kiddie pools. I didn't get a photo, sorry.

Who knows if it will stay, but hey, updates.

Additionally, I have these new things in most of the kiddie pools as well:

These little clusters of green/yellow things. They look a bit like mini corn on the cobs. I have never seen them before, but I'm pretty sure they're eggs of some kind. From what? I dunno. I'm not interested in looking it up currently. But if you recognize them, feel free to tell me in the comments/reblogs.

[edit: I caved and looked it up. They appear to be caterpillar poop! 😂 Probably dropped into the pools from the trees above them.]

I am surprised, amazed, and baffled by all of this happening this year. I don't know if this will force me to try to build the replacement pond earlier or not. I don't even know if my lillies will survive the winter in these flimsy plastic pools (though they probably will considering they've survived this long already).

(Will the POOLS survive the winter though? I guess that's another argument entirely) Anyway, The fabric pots are arriving next week, so we'll see if I can ever finish splitting these lillies and if all these eggs hatched by then.

[hekkoto]

BIG life update + ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!

Hi my little darklings <3

Here I come with this big life update and some announcements!

So first - Im feeling way better and I can say I will be truly active and post a lot <3 Im so excited!

Important thing - I drew those Patreon prints I owed some people: I will send mail in March and it will have prints for November, December, January and February [+ for March if you will still be my Patron]. Im sorry it took me eternity to catch up on those but finally I can send you those <3 Im super super grateful for your support and understanding that my health was killing me

Print for February will be sent to everyone who are my Patron before 10th of March! Plus then you also will get March one ;p

I gonna focus a lot on my YT this year, I wanna post there artistic stuff but also life vlogs and some gaming. And I will be posting speedpaints where I talk in background ;p My goal is to post 3 videos per week at some point. I also hope to maybe do weekly livestreams?

My other focus will be my Patreon, I wanna go back to posting all planned stuff :> I might do little changes to Patreon tiers but I will let you know!

Oh, about that Gorenuary challenge... Yes, I failed it ;p But I gonna draw arts for every prompt anyway ^^ Hopefully I will finish it to the end of a year hahah >XD

I have idea for some bigger projects for this year, like I wanna start making new game and work on some horror ARG :> I wanna also come back to working a lot on my universe Terroether ^^ Hopefully I will make big progress in designing/redesigning my ocs! I also hope to come back to making lil animations and animatics :>

My health still isnt perfect, also some of illnesses will be present for a rest of my life. I decided to live my life with accepting this as I cant do anything about this. So there will be days I wont do anything. My meds and doctors are super expensive, thankfully right now my parents support us a lot financially. If you wanna donate to help me go through it here is my fundraiser: https://pomagam.pl/nhg96m I will be updating it when it comes to my health

Also, great news - my parents said I dont owe them money I borrowed to upgrade my graphic card. They gave my brother money for car so Im not in debt ;p daaaaaaaaaaaamn, Im so happy about this!

Im again happy and full of motivation; I was able to escape depressive episodes [hopefully they wont be back too often {cause of borderline}] and I found joy in creating again. Im not terrified anymore if Im not good enough or what others think about me. So I hope I will be able to draw and post again regularly :>

Okay, I guess thats all for now :> I missed you a lot guys and I hope to be truly back for real this time :>

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, so here we go.

As per usual, this also means an open question night--my askbox is always open, but I'll be actively keeping an eye on it tonight. I do take prompts, but am not necessarily fast in filling them. Any fandom I've posted about here or on AO3 is fair game, as is any of my original stuff.

Short one this month, because I didn't get much done last month, whoops...a big work project took up more brainmeats than I expected it would, ah well.

Mostly moved, mostly everything is sorted; a few things I still need to finish organizing/putting away/etc. But that should also free up some brainspace hopefully!

Anyway. Actual updates.

Star Wars:

Pretty much the same as last week--need to catch up on OTP meme fills; poking back at my original plan for last year's SWBB so I can use it for this year. Not a lot of progress, but hopefully this month will be better!

BSG:

Big Bang matches have gone out! I'm excited to see how everything turns out. And hopefully get actually back into writing the many plotlines that are floating around in my head, lol...particularly The Other Battlestar which still needs an Official title and has been waiting to come out of my head and get Shared for like. over a year. even discounting the like 8-10 year gap when I wandered away from the fandom...

I should be picking up my rewatch soon, too! I have the back half of season 3, plus season 4, and maybe the webisodes (I have access to Face of the Enemy but not Resistance, so we'll see if I actually watch those). Which does mean we're coming up on my absolute least favorite episode in the entire series, haha. I haven't even gotten to it yet and I'm already mad about it (and have found an Additional Reason to be mad about it that I hadn't had before! Yay!) But also after that I get Lampkin, who I love, and while season 4 is a mess in terms of cohesion/continuity it has some of my very favorite episodes in the entire series, So.

Castlevania:

I haven't actually sat down and watched Nocturne yet (mostly because of the aforementioned work stuff), so I haven't quite fallen back into this fandom yet. I do want to get back to Incinctus, and I had one other plot thread idea for another fic based on the first series (essentially, shifting Alucard's S3 timeline by six weeks so the night Sumi and Taka plan to attack him is the same night Greta's messenger gets there, and then see where things go from there).

It's kind of interesting--I have approximately zero knowledge of the games, apart from a few bits and pieces I've picked up from reading fics and/or hanging out on a discord server. Which, of course, has been talking a lot about Nocturne...but almost entirely in the context of how it relates to the game characters/plotlines it's drawing from. Which means I'm both...more and less hyped for it? I don't know, I'm not sure how to word how it's impacted my interest/excitement/etc. for the followup series, because a lot of the comments about certain characters/choices completely fly over my head but they Dominate the server and I'm like "...okay?"

Anyway, we'll see how I feel about it when I watch the series. And if I do end up building a VC crossover in my head (because like. armand and the theatre are right there and while I was able to confine myself to a quick Easter Egg reference in Incinctus...lol.)

Les Mis:

The next chapter of P&J is coming, I swear. Also planning to debut Acheron this month because...I mean I know it's technically a Groundhog Day AU set in June, but it feels appropriate to start posting it around Halloween? IDK XD

Original Fic:

Again I do need to catch up on OTP memes. I do like the one piece I put out this month, which was about the Horsemen in Lux. They're a Delight and I love them.

...yeah, that's about it. Like I said, short post this month because I didn't get much actual writing done last month. Hopefully October will be better for me (if nothing else, hopefully I actually will catch up on all the backlogged OTP Meme fills, lol...)

[woahajimes]

the batfamily is stupid as hell and they're self isolating because SOMEBODY got covid (steph) and then SOMEBODY (cass-- who also has covid bc uh stephcass) sneezed on tim who drank from jason's cup without knowing it was jason's cup and anyways everyone in the manor got covid so ✨self isolation for 2 weeks✨

ANYHOW they were all bored out of their minds and jason was about to throw damian out the window bc siblings right

SO BASICALLY cass came up with the big brain idea of a competition (prize being complete immunization of sibling interaction UNLESS they ask for it-- eg. "hey can you open this for me")

teams were made (just two people per team-- duke/damian, jason/cass, steph/harper, dick/tim)

there were "rounds" and these consisted of

round 1: person a has to feed person b a whole jar of peanut butter and they could switch places ONCE (team to finish last was disqualified)

round 2: they had to recreate this picture and had ten minutes to do so, at the end every team compared pictures and alfred decided whose was the worst and that team was out

round 3: they had to run five laps around the manor with their team member on their back, first person to get through the finish line (for the fifth time, there was a picture taken each time they crossed it) won.

simple, right?

WELL NO

first round basically went like this:

jason: NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID PEANUT BUTTER cass: jason: okay okay ill go first

tim went first, harper went first, and duke went first (duke didn't want to go first but he lost to rock paper scissors so)

tim puked in the first two minutes but alfred had forgotten to clarify that if you puke you're out so basically he kept eating

cass and jason were the first ones to switch

dick and tim switched immediately after (they were waiting for someone else to switch)

steph and harper fucking DIED

"im never eating peanut butter after this"

"by GOD EAT FASTER ITS NOT EVEN A SOLID"

"CAN YOU NOT SHOVE THAT SPOON DOWN MY THROAT"

"IM NOT GOING TO LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND FUCK YOU"

duke and damian finished first and when ppl asked how (they're the youngest ones, people were sure they couldn't handle it) damian was like "i simply moved all my internal organs to the side" and duke was like "tf you literally ate two spoons and a half"

STEPH AND HARPER LOST and tim laughed (his team got to the next round by literally a second) so harper and steph both threw him the containers and spoons

second round:

tim thought he had a big brain for calling dibs on being on the pool mat but nOOO (duke was on the pool mat, damian was the lightest so yeah--- jason was on the pool mat solely because cass called dibs on jumping and crushing him-- imagine all the chaos)

literally they(jason/cass) took 14 pictures total and all of them were fucked up because of jason (his hands weren’t in the right place, both his legs were picked up)

duke and damian couldn’t do it skjdfhskfh they were D Y I N G (every two minutes you heard a really loud scream/groan with a sudden splat and yeah)

steph and harper had never laughed harder

cass was so done with jason she literally shoved him off the pool mat

tim was literally dead they had taken the shot around 20 times and none of them looked good it was horrible (dick didnt even apologize for crushing tim 90934757894 times -- not every shot was decent so they deleted around 40)

when the timer went off, alfred carefully took all the phones (jason’s phone was somehow at the bottom of the pool and jason was tired(tm) so he asked cass to get the phone pls and cass just got in the pool and shoved the pool mat over (and then got out)

after around 20 minutes of alfred going through the pictures, he decided that the best ones were dick and tim’s (how i have zero idea but)

and then the worst ones were duke and damian’s (so jason and cass made it to the third round)

cass asked alfred why theirs weren’t the best, and alfred said “well master jason’s arm looks very off and he looks genuinely scared” and cass was like “GODDAMNIT JASON” and lost her shit 

LAST ROUND: 

so they did think this through and basically cass on jason’s back and tim on dick’s back

jason: HA! YOU’RE NOT FASTER THAN I AM! dick: i don’t need to be??? you’ve got CASS on your back. you know what that means? jason: .... you wouldn’t.. tim, on dick’s back: *snorts* YEAH OKAY

cass: what are they talking about?  jason: NO NOTHING jason: you might want earbuds or something to like... block the sounds... they’re gonna be wanting to distract you cass: yeah well. I’m not distracted easily

the timer goes off, tim on dick’s back, and they’re pretty even for the first two laps, but then tim’s shoe falls off and tim’s like “WAIT MY SHOE” and dick goes “WHAT THE FUCK” 

and tim is like “whoa youre right KEEP RUNNING” 

cass on jason’s back: HEY STEPH CAN YOU PASS ME THE PRETZELS

update: cass does get pretzels and gives jason a few  jason: CASS THATS MY NOSE cass: OH OOPS LOL

dick: tim i think its time to pull out our secret weapon tim: yeah you’re right tim: tim: HEY CASS *starts humming to ‘levitating’ by dua lipa* tim: 🎶 if you wanna run away with me-  🎶

jason: NO  jason: NOOO CASS COVER YOUR EARS DONT LISTEN TO THEM cass:  🎶 IF YOU WANNA RUN AWAY WITH ME I KNOW A GALAXY WHERE I COULD TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE  🎶

(you may ask how this distracts jason but it just DOES)

dick takes this as a head start and runs faster (theyre on their third lap now- both)

tim gets a bit too excited and leans too much and makes them both fall over (they were abt half a lap ahead)

tim: GET UP GET UP dick: THIS IS YOUR FAULT TF YOU MEAN 

cass:  🎶 YOU WANT ME  🎶 jason:  🎶 I WANT YOU BABY  🎶  *runs past them*  dick: HOW jason: JUST DONT FIGHT IT 

karma’s a bitch (and dick paid steph) and jason slipped, causing them to fall almost the exact way that tim and dick fell

dick and tim have now caught up to them, as jason and cass pick themselves up

jason: we should switch cass: yeah alright do you want me to momentarily kill you so we can distract the others and then you wake up and we run jason: ...no cass:  jason: ... maybe

*two seconds later*

cass: HE’S DEAD! MY POOR BROTHER HE’S DEAD! steph: YEAH WE KNOW YOU MOMENTARILY KILLED HIM GET UP cass: ok jason lets go stand up 

they keep going and dick stops for a second (theyre ahead)  dick: hey its your turn now tim:  dick: yeah i know you cant cmon climb on

COMEPLETE HEADCANON jason and cass won anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 10.24.2023

Well, it's been three weeks since I said I could stop working on Ductwork if I wanted to, and I'm still working on it. (At least I was, as of yesterday. I haven't done any writing yet today and who knows what tomorrow will bring?)

I didn't have quite as many words for this week as I would have liked, but my big goal for this week was to finish Chapter 2, and I did. The wordcount on my document increased quite a bit, but there were two big scenes that were already written and just got copied over (although one of them required some pretty major rewrites, which took up a bunch of time and energy without increasing the wordcount much). In any case, my "clean version" document is now at 17,860 (+5421) with an estimated 2,563 of new words for this week.

Chapter 3 feels a little daunting right now. The first two chapters featured a bunch of flashbacks to Renji getting his arm broken and now that story has been (mostly) told, and the next two chapters transition to having a bunch of flashbacks to the time Rukia got gored by a boar. (This fanfic is really a ride. I am the first one to admit that I jumped the shark three fanfics and I can't believe I am still going). Anyway, it's tricky, because I'm trying to retain themes without being repetitive, and also they need to tie into what's going on in "real time" and also, basically just that I have not planned it out yet, and I do not want to plan it out because my brain hates planning things. I actually have some of the flashbacks written, but I was honestly just freeballing at the time, so I'm not even sure if they're useful at all. So, anyway, I would like to be writing, but I have this planning activity in the way and I very much hate it.

I also got a little bummed because I kinda feel like I am not making any progress on this, despite how long I have been working on. I mean. It's only 2 chapters/18k. That's so little. It's not really, though, there's an entire other document. It's hard to count, because a lot of scenes are in both of them. I did bother to do some accounting, and I actually have more like 37k altogether, which is...more like something, I suppose.

I actually am not really sure how long it's gonna end up. The first two chapters are about 8-9k each, and I think Ch 3 and 4 will follow. The fanfic kind of takes a big transition after that, bisected by the surgery itself. I've sort of been imagining that the post-surgery part will be 1.5-2x the length of the pre-surgery (so, 6-8 chapters), but what I am going to do with all that space? This is the sort of thinking that leads to 100k fanfic. I will try to come up with things to fill the space and then I will have too much stuff. That's just how it is, I guess. Wouldn't it be nice if this could just be, like, 60k, and I could be almost done?

That's enough of my prattling for this week, I think. In other news, I finished the Rukia-and-Renji-have-sex-in-a-cave-in-Hueco-Mundo smut, and you can read it now. Much like the last one, it is, uh, not proving to be particularly popular. I'm not gonna let it stop me. The only way to get the smut you want in the world is to write it yourself, tho, and thanks to the handful of other people who appreciate my vision.