#anyway. it is now evening time and im sure richard will check in once mil is in bed bc my GOD

[safyresky]

I ENDED UP CALLING MY MOM AND I GOT SOME T E A (a follow up to this post)

Obligatory out of context Jacqueline to preface the vent:

another oldie but goodie, lmao

SO I GAVE INTO THE FEELING IN MY BONES AND CALLED MY MOM

"hey mom, im feelin a lil low bc MIL is mad about the car and is giving Richard crap--"

"oh girl I KNOW I got the lecture too"

I was like UM. HELLO?? GIRL D I S H

so she DISHED and y'all. when my MIL went over last week for a help with technology (bc she is very bad with even the most basic of shit), she APPARENTLY went on the same rant with my MOM, who did NOT appreciate it as my Mom is A) very excited and happy that I got a new car, bc, y'know, now I can go places SAFELY and B) she is of the opinion that it is 100% MY CAR. Which isn't wrong! This was to replace MY car, not Richard's; we just went together and co-signed bc I was more than happy to share it in name (and he was too bc cheaper rates lol). "I didn't want to tell you bc, you know, Richard is ALWAYS with you," says my mom, to which I reply

"JANE it is A-OKAY bc she's giving him SHIT for it too and he's ready to explode about it, they are NOT of the same mind"

It's hard to talk turkey about Richard and his mum with my mom bc back in HS when we met he was v much a Momma's boy, but then, as most people do, he grew up and, as some people do, went away for school and learnt oh god, my mom's kinda toxic??? and emotionally incestuous sometimes??? and does NOT treat me WELL??? and has been working VEYR HARD in the last. 8 or so years. to draw up boundaries with her and such, and this has only increased post-marriage and post me starting therapy a couple of years back as well.

But my Mom does not recognize that, and trying to explain it to her is, frankly, exhausting. So I do what I can to defend his cute lil ass and get on with the point, which is what I did today, but that's not the cruz of the matter here

THE CRUX IS THE TEA!

WHICH IS THAT. MY MIL'S RANT TO MY MOM INCLUDED THE JUICY, JUICY DETAIL OF "you know, why didn't they talk to ME about this decision, I could've helped them get a CHEAP CAR and save MONEY"

Well, Margie. Margie. Sweetie. My darling darling MIL.

1. RICHARD AND I ARE MARRIED IT IS ME AND HIM NOT ME AND HIM AND YOU, AND THIS WAS AN US DECISION, WITH OUR FINANCES, AND OUR TRAVEL/WORK-LIFE BALANCE/MENTAL HEALTH/SAFETY ISSUE.

2. IT ORIGINATED OUT OF ME REPLACING MY CAR; NOT RICHARD REPLACING HIS. AND THAT IS WHY. YOU WERE NOT CONSULTED, BC THE PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO BE CONSULTED--ME AND RICHARD AND MY DAD (whomst is Fitzy's proper owner) WERE CONSULTED! AND WE TOOK CARE OF IT OURSELVES!

3. WHY WOULD I CONSULT YOU ABOUT A DECISION THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU? AH!

So, there was some interesting stuff I immediately told Richard who replied to my four option plan with a "Well I tried B, and we seem to be going back to C, so I am now going to focus on D" and like, GOOD! YOU DON'T NEED HER OPINION!

ALSO

MY GOD! I DO NOT WANT A CHEAPER CAR. I WANT A GOOD CAR THAT IS RELIABLE AND ISN'T GOING TO BREAK IN ~5 YEARS! AND IF IT DOES, GUESS WHAT? BC IT'S NEWER AND ACQUIRED THROUGH A DEALER, IT'LL BE UNDER A WARRANTY! I DON'T WANT TO GET A LESS SHITTY CAR TO REPLACE MY SHITTY CAR, I WOULD RATHER GET A NEWER ONE THAT I KNOW IS GOING TO LAST A HOT MINUTE! THE LAST 2 HONDAS MY FAM HAS HAD HAVE LASTED 16 YEARS! 16 YEARS! WITH CANADIAN WINTERS! MY GOD! THAT'S IMPRESSIVE AS FUCK AND I LOVE THAT RELIABILITY! AHHHH

So YEAH it's been a DAY and like, I was under the impression that it was ME and RICHARD who were married, not me and him AND MIL! AHHHHH

anyway, I felt better after chatting with my mom, even if she didn't really get it, bc A) TEA and B) she's up at the Falls with my aunts rn and at one point on the phone this happened:

My aunt in the background: JANE. JANE. GIVE ME THE PHONE GIVE ME THE. DANIELLA. DANIELLA CAN YOU HEAR ME

Me: yeah

Aunt: LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR MIL IS MAD AT YOU, AND IT'S CERTAINLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT I TRULY BELIEVE GRANDPA WOULD'VE TOLD YOU. FOR HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION. WHAT TO SAY TO HER

Me: okay...

Aunt: HE HAD A SPECIAL PHRASE, ALRIGHT? NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG. HE LOVED HIS MOTHER IN LAW. BUT WHEN SHE GOT TO BE TOO MUCH, HE'D TURN TO HER AND SAY, "comes merda"

Me, RECOGNIZING the Portuguese immediately and having to recalculate: DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME MY GRANDFATHER WOULD WANT ME TO TELL MY MIL TO EAT SHIT

My Aunt, without missing a beat: YES

My Mom was laughing soo hard in the background my aunt had to hold the phone for a hot minute lmao.