#anyway. ig everyone do whatever you want but i feel like this is THE EASIEST way of doing it

[comfycozycrossfox]

honest to god i thought it was common logic/etiquette to, if its a single stall with no indicator, leave a bathroom door open once you leave it. im running into this w my roommates AND at work.

if there isnt a "vacant" indicator, how else am i supposed to know if you're in there? do you WANT me to have to knock and do the "UH-OCCUPIED!!!" thing? if you lock it, do you ENJOY when you're taking a shit and someone rattles the door handle?

ive run into this both with me assuming a roommate is in the bathroom bc the door is closed AND someone fucking walking in when the door is closed bc they think it could go either way! its my fuckin house i shouldnt have to lock the door, THE DOOR IS CLOSED FOR A REASON...

and at work! there's 5 fucking bathrooms, i dont want to have to knock to make sure there isnt a customer in there! not everyone locks the door! and frankly i dont think they should have to because it should be BASIC ETTIQUITTE that CLOSED DOOR MEANS OCCUPIED!

obviously its different if theres multiple stalls but if its a single stall... in your house... or like, a family bathroom without the indicators.... why wouldnt you just leave the fucking door open if no one's in there... it's the easiest and most obvious way of showing that no one's in there...

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT CH2 EP16 First Impressions

We’ve reached the end of the chapter! A bittersweet feeling, finally getting closure on this chapter while also ushering in a new hiatus. Still, congrats to dev for making it this far! Hope they enjoy their break, while we enjoy whatever they’ve cooked up for the ending!

Without further ado, let us enjoy peak.

Spoilers for the entirety of CH2 (hell yeah). CW: Execution, suicidal thoughts.

It’s Aceover.

ONE vote for Teruko! Do we think Ace voted for himself? Did the mystery voter from Trial 1 repeat their vote on Teruko? Or did they not, and the vote’s just Ace? {Hindsight: It’s CH1 Mystery Voter probs}

MonoTV: “You got it right!” IT’S ALL OVER.

Okay wait it’s actually kinda weird to see the new David sprites outside of the Trial. Like it’s trippy idk why. That’s crazy.

Eden: “Why her of all people?” Poor Eden, at least give her an answer! Even if it’s just “it was the easiest option” man.

Whit: “I really thought that no one would repeat what happened to Xander and Min.” Is this the very first piece of anti-Whit Time Loop theory evidence? Or is he just lying? I don’t believe the theory, so I’m passing that one to the defenders.

Ace: “I killed her. And if you can’t forgive me for that, then there’s nothing I can say.”

Hey remember when Nico said they didn’t see the point of saying sorry if they wouldn’t be forgiven anyways? Yeah.

The foils are foiling :O

Both Teruko and Eden blaming themselves in their own way (Eden mentioned it in Ep10 ���just like Min!” and now Teruko’s bringing “misfortune” into the conversation), man we are in for some sad times with these two. And everyone else ig.

Hu: “How could you say it’s just misfortune?” And Hu is very against this idea, interesting.

“So we can’t blame ourselves for failing to prevent something like that.” Ah, there’s the ticket. She’s trying not to feel guilty about it, which is kinda fair, Arei’s death is 99% Ace’s fault.

Eden: “The Ace I met for the first time wasn’t a murderer.” Oof, Eden hitting us with the full highlight line. She’s so great for this honestly. Everything she says afterwards is also great for her character, I love her (and I don’t need to read her lines with suspicion!!! I’m free!!!)

Veronika. And she’s still smiling. Go worst girl! /affectionate

“The only thing anyone can do in this killing game is to shatter.” We are… getting worryingly close to secret quote wording here.

Rose: “Are you saying Ace was pushed into killing because of things like almost being killed?” (Paraphrased) Oh God she’s gonna feel guilty too because she let Nico get the turpentine! Even if that doesn’t work if Ace had already chosen to kill Eden, still! How much self-blame can we have this trial?

Teruko: “No.” Yeah thank you.

Ace: “Did you all get the Veronika virus or what?” God I’m gonna miss him so much actually.

[To Levi] “Shut up for the rest of your life and kill yourself!” Holy SHIT he’s going out with a bang. {Hindsight: I didn’t realize how accurate this would be}

David: “You still have it in you to throw stones in your glass house.” Did this motherfucker correctly use the idiom Ace fucked up earlier? He’s such a piece of shit /affectionate.

Ace: “I don’t care if it made me a hypocrite!” AGH-! New sprite and the voice acting continues the hot streak of being absolutely fucking stellar! Holy hell!

[To Levi] “I just needed a reason to stay mad at you!” Ouchie!

[The whole Levi v Ace thing] This is just fucking incredible. Levi still doesn’t understand, Ace just wanted to stay mad so he could live with his betrayal, just peak character writing all around. And peak VAing, of course.

Teruko: “I need you to do a favor for me. It might just save your life.” YOOO I CALLED THIS!!! Blackened Blaze of Glory let’s fucking goooo!!!! Thanks to shinycrows for asking me that!!!

“Kill MonoTV for me.” Alright so. Not the best plan ever, but then again, it’s not like any plan against the killing game will work on CH2. Also the way she said that was great.

MonoTV: “Yeah, more murder!” Why’s it so funny for?

Teruko: “Arei died because you’re a coward, Ace!” YO why’s she going so hard right now?! This entire scene is incredible, I don’t even have any words for this much peak. The emotion in her voice, holy fuck- Oh yeah because Arei’s crying reminded her of something! In the playground! So Teruko does have a small connection with Arei so she’d feel real bad (for more reason than just death of someone she knew)! I didn’t put that together till now.

[Ace punches MonoTV] PEAAAK! Oh shit it actually broke! That was so fucking awesome! Let’s fucking go Ace!!!!! Also MonoTV is definitely just coming back, right?

That broken MonoTV sprite though!

Eden: “Finally, it’s over—“ The lack of music is making this really impactful, even though we know it won’t work. Holy shit.

MonoTV: “A fatal error has been detected” We breaking out different fonts?

MonoTV: “Now loading the default XF-Ture personality drivers.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD!!!!

Now we have the question. Was MonoTV created by XF for the game? Or did XF just create the AI, and someone repurposed it for thre killing game?

Also what are these defaults going to be?

…Wait whose voice is this? Someone we know? Please tell me I’m bad at recognizing voices! {I think it’s still MonoTV’s VA, just doing a different act, but I’m not sure}

[MonoTV speech] Didn’t expect MonoTV of all damn characters to have a badass moment, but I guess this is the world we live in now.

“But there is no reason to punish Ace a second time.” UHHH Chat are we cooked?

The death of every participant? This is about rule 14, right? “All murderers must be held accountable”? The “everyone is responsible for Mai’s death and must be punished” theory seems to be gaining ground.

It’s also saying this is why it was created, so XF likely did have a direct hand in the killing game. Min MM not looking so implausible all of the sudden.

“I will pass the punishment…” chat we’re actually immensely cooked what.

“I will now proceed with the execution of Teruko Tawaki.” UHHH LUCK BETTER COME IN CLUTCH!!!

[Machine Gun] BRO?!?!?!

Charles: “That thing will surely kill you!” Even Charles is sounding extremely distressed here, damn! But I guess Teruko is relying on her luck maybe?

Whit: “Charles! Stop talking and cover your eyes!” I mean yeah good advice but you know- More pressing things atm

Teruko: “No :)” Why’s she so silly coded?

Teruko: “Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.” AAAAAAH!!!! The suicidal tendencies return with a vengeance!!!

[Her speech] Holy fuck holy fuck this is crazy she’s actually doing the unhinged Lucky Student thing of relying on luck she’s going in I’m so terrified for what’s about to happen.

“I’ll show you all what it means to be the Ultimate Lucky Student.” Shit boutta go crazy.

[LEVI DOES THE THING] OF FUCKING COURSE!

Bro I was not ready for this. I wasn’t ready in the slightest. This motherfucker better survive against all odds or it’s all over.

Bro that sprite- He’s so cooked.

MonoTV: “His injuries are not fatal” Wait are we saved? Arturo look I know you’re not a doctor but for the love of God tell me you can do something about this holy shit. I wasn’t ready for this.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually insane.

Arturo: “He could live…” Please??? For me???

Wait now that I’m thinking about it. He hasn’t said his secret quote. We might be saved.

[Whit sprite] … Huh??? Bro what the fuck is happening this episode.

Ace: “Execute me right now!” Ough this shit insane!!! I can’t- I genuinely can’t react. I’m just overcome with emotion at this point.

“I’ll have a third death in my hands!” … Wait the math. Unless he’s counting himself… does he blame himself for Taylor’s death???

[The entire Arturo - Ace debacle] I…holy shit???? The genuine distress in Arturo’s voice when he says he can’t save Levi??? Ace clinging to the hope that he can??? Bro what the fuck??? This is insane???? I can’t- I can’t compute- This is actually insane. This is so much. Levi better not fucking die after this I swear to god-

Ace: “I don’t want to die…” Holy shit dev did it. I’m feeling just as bad for Ace as I felt for Min. Bra-fucking-vo. Holy fuck. No words.

[Thanatophobia]

(Fear of death right? Fits)

… Okay, so. I know someone brought up this term in relation to Ace. Genius, first.

Second, that might just be one of the greatest executions I’ve even seen, if not the best. I usually don’t care much about how good executions are, but this… this is incredibly good. The music was banging. The execution method was unique. It wasn’t related to his talent, but his character, which makes it better imo.

(Also are the “unexplained illnesses” related to Xander’s family?)

And even through all this… dev showed the corpse. When they didn’t show Min’s. Why would you allow me to cope even further? You drop XF and show a corpse- holy shit. I just can’t even process anything.

And he didn’t say his quote. He never said it I don’t think. Levi better survive.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually getting more and more unhinged by the second the hell-? Yeah remember when she looked unnerved by Min’s execution?!?! She ain’t looking unnerved no more!

Hu: “The elevator is open!” We’re just- gonna ignore- Alright, I guess it’s fair. Surely Levi survives right?

Rose please tell me you looked away. I know you saw Levi so it’s not looking great either way, but still.

Teruko: “Go on without me.” Is she going to talk to David maybe? About the secret?

“Everyone was gone.” Alright no, she’s just going to mourn or something?

[Teruko reflects on her similarities to Ace and Arei] I really like this moment, it’s nice of her to say what the audience was probably already thinking.

MonoTV: “I must convince everyone that I’m the villain.” And what does this mean MonoTV? Genuinely too burnt out to think about it any harder rn.

MonoTV: “That is the fate that I have, to make others suffer.” HOW ARE WE TYING MONO FUCKING TV TO THE THEME OF FATE?!?!?!WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING “TERUKO-MONOTV PARALLELS” WHAT THE FUCK?! DEV YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! /positive

[Teruko breaks down] Holy hell…

“I had known the answer…” AUGH- The character writing… it’s so good… fucking hell this is incredible…

Where do we even go from here? Teruko’s speed running the themes of trust and fate like they’re not the main themes of the series?!?! I’m going crazy.

… Are we seriously leaving it on a cliffhanger whether Levi is alive or not? Like, I know the “surviving students” thing counted him, so I’m guessing he’s alive, but… hot damn. This is an evil cliffhanger.

(Also I find it funny that David’s silhouette sprite did in fact change to what the dev said was his new default lol)

“Seems there’s something he’s not proud of” The nailbiting right.

-

General Thoughts

…

…

…

…

Bro how the fuck am I expected to even begin to summarize this shit?!?!

Okay, in… ascending order of crazy.

Did David just… not speak almost the entire episode? Did he even have any lines when Teruko was being executed? The fuck is going on with him? He didn’t even reveal Teruko’s secret???

Veronika was unhinged. Loved that for her. Hope she gets worse, it seems like CH3 will be a fun chapter for her (I hope that doesn’t mean she dies).

Whit officially gets his very own unhinged/breakdown sprite! We’ve completed the set! I mean, it’s not as crazy as others, but it matches Rose’s so…

Everyone endures further trauma, fun.

I even feel bad for Arturo! Poor guy did not ask for this shit! There’s fun foils here with Levi trying to protect the group as much as he can and Arturo being forced into the role…

Also. Of all ships. I did not expect Aceturo to get a dub here somehow.

I somehow called more or less predicted what Teruko was gonna do. Fun how that happened. And her little character reflection at the end was awesome, I loved it very much. Jesus fuck.

That’s gotta be the best execution I’ve ever seen, hands down. I don’t care that there wasn’t a single horse there. This is much better.

Also, no secret quote from Ace. So those are 100% not a good metric for defining who is at risk of death. Wonder if that means we’ll get a flashback with him?

XF-Ture Tech?!?!?! MonoTV character building kinda?!?!?!?! I’m going crazy?!?!?!

Levi??? This motherfucker better be alive. There’s no reason he should be dead, so I’m gonna assume he’s alive. But wow… I guess weightedblankettt was sorta right on the “final orbit” interpretation of Levi’s connection to Shoemaker-Levy 9, just… not in a way we expected. (If that meant nothing to you don’t worry about it).

And Ace… Hot damn. Just… an entire character arc at the eleventh minute, huh? How’s that for the people who were saying Ace wouldn’t be remembered, huh? Levi probably owes him his life, in a way. He broke MonoTV. He faced his thanatophobia to try to help Levi survive. Just… so fucking good. I said it in the reaction. I genuinely felt just as much grief for him as I did Min. And coming from me, that’s… a lot. Just incredible writing and voice acting and everything in between…

This cements it, btw. This is my favorite trial from anything DR related ever. It’s genuinely insane. I am going to make a more detailed, more coherent post analyzing the entirety of Part 2 of this chapter, because it deserves it. It deserves more thought than I’m able to give right now on account of feeling too many emotions. Stay tuned for that, I guess.

Props to the dev, the VAs, and anyone who might have laid a hand on this at some point. It’s genuinely incredible, this is an unforgettable experience. Holy shit.

I don’t- I don’t have the emotional energy to keep writing. Just… I think I need to calm down for a few hours. Genuinely loved every second of this. Thanks for reading, and see you when I gather my thoughts enough to trust myself to be coherent.

[kidnappedbycartoons]

Who Was Playing The Game?

I know that we as a community have accepted that Hope and Marisol were playing a game. But I don’t think they were the only ones playing a game. By the way, when I say that I mean that the others were also trying to either win the money or the popularity. Now, let’s get into it.

Bobby:

I don’t care what anyone says, he was playing a game. Even if he wasn’t trying to win, he was trying to stay popular and likable. There’s no reason for this guy who isn’t in a stable couple to still be here by Day 26. None. He almost slipped up with Operation Nope, but he saved himself by saving Hope. By doing that, he got the public back on his side because they see it as him feeling bad for what he did. And the solving of the problems, staying cordial with all the girls so that they won’t dump him, come on now.

Ibrahim:

Let me explain. He starts off with either Priya or MC. Then during Casa Amor, he gets with Shannon. Was she playing a game? Yes. But if he’s in such a strong couple with your MC why would he switch? Because of the video. He gets in his head and thinks that she’s going to switch, so he does as well. It’s logical and the public could probably understand that. But then Jo comes along and he kisses her and if you’re not on his route, couples up with her and asks her to be his girlfriend within four days of knowing her. You’re trying to tell me he wasn’t playing a game by locking her down so soon? He’ll go back to MC during that recoupling because he knows it’s a strong couple and that MC is a popular girl. I don’t think he cared about the money, he just wanted the popularity.

Noah:

Listen. I can explain. You’re trying to tell me that this boy couldn’t see that Hope was clearly playing a game? You’re trying to tell me that he wasn’t performing along with her? Yeah, sure, maybe they just felt a spark or something, whatever. But if you’re on his route, he sticks with Hope until AFTER the finale when he breaks up with her, only if MC sleeps with him the night before and takes the money. He is clearly into MC and I know the public could probably pick up on the longing gazes, touches, and such. But he sticks with Hope, probably professes his feelings for her in the beach hut and refuses to speak about MC, and sleeps with MC the day before the finale. Now, if you watch the show, you know that they only show the love confessions and a bit of the prom during the final, since the final is the exact next day. He probably knew this and that’s why he slept with MC, because he knew it wouldn’t be shown. Not on the day of the finale. Yeah, I do think he had feelings for her and Hope. But he probably needed the money for his siblings or something, I don’t think it was a selfish thing.

Shannon:

Do I really need to explain? She basically told on herself during the girl’s trip when she said “It is a game and I don’t lose”. She goes after Ibrahim because he’s the easiest target, regardless of who MC is with. He’s not confrontational, he’s the most obvious with his insecurities and she could use this to her advantage. Bobby isn’t as dumb as you think, I’m sure he would’ve caught onto her in the beginning. Gary doesn’t want to deal with Lottie’s rage nor would he go off from MC, so he’s out. Noah is a sensitive area, Lurik would’ve caught on, and who is going for Jakub? Rahim is easy. She gets threatened when Jo comes and they kiss. She chooses not to go to Rahim because of a few reasons. Number one, it’s easier to target Jo because she’s the new girl and there would be more sympathy for Shannon. Number two, she’s trying to figure out if Jo is also playing a game or if she actually likes Rahim, that’s why she stays on her. Because if Jo is playing a game, Shannon could call her out and save herself. But if she actually likes Rahim, then she’s a big risk because if Rahim kissed her, there is a chance that he also likes her. Anyway, she ends up getting dumped so she played the game horribly.

Graham:

This motherfucker. Whoever is on you in Casa Amor basically tells on him when they say that Graham told them to crack on with whoever they can. He targeted Marisol from the start. Why? MC is too popular, other guys would be going after her so he’d have too much competition. Hope is a sensitive area and Lottie, for all her faults, isn’t going to switch so easily. Priya was in the mess with Operation Nope, so she is also a sensitive area and Chelsea might not be his type. Now, Marisol? She has had bad luck from the start. Got with Gary, only to not feel a spark. Felt a spark with Rocco but he got dumped. And then, if MC goes on the second date with Lurik, Marisol doesn’t get chosen for a date. She’s the most vulnerable. Yeah, she might be book smart, but she’s not aware. She’s wrong with her psychoanalysis because she’s too logical with it and doesn’t look deep within. So Graham gets with her in hopes of heading to the final, but they end up getting dumped, most likely due to lack of popularity.

Elijah:

I don’t want to spend too much time on him. But I think he was there for popularity reasons, because he keeps talking about how he’s a model, when we all know he’s a hairdresser that thinks he’s an IG model. He just wanted more followers.

Blake:

Come on now. She copies MC’s whole flow and then attempts to get with the guy she was with before the disaster recoupling before getting with the one who coupled up with her. She knew MC was the most popular and was using her whole style to get ahead. Sadly, everyone else picked up on it and the girl got dumped in less than a week.

Arjun:

I know that other guys like Felix or Carl are all on MC in the beginning if she has a high heart score with them. But I noticed that in the beginning, the girls he names off as being interested in are Priya, MC, and Hope, AKA the most popular girls. Yeah, all the guys were trying to get into the villa, but he just gave off a vibe for me.

R!Lurik:

They go for MC because she’s the most popular and you’ll have the “one who got away”. They’re very adamant about it too, both before and after the update. They can even have MC cheat on her partner with them, just to dump her after the final.

Elisa:

Including the fact that MC can cheat on her partner with her just to get dumped after the final, she also came in strong. She told Chelsea about the kiss so that she could spread it and Elisa wouldn’t get blamed for it. Anyone watching the show would know Chelsea tends to slip up sometimes and with something as big as this, of course she would say something. Elisa asks Noah on a date, probably because she thinks he’s vulnerable enough after the whole Operation Nope fiasco. She thought that if Priya and MC could do it, she might be able to do it too. She also asks whoever MC is coupled up with at the time, because it’s targeting MC.

That’s it. I don’t think Rocco or Jakub were playing a game. Rocco was just flirting around and Jakub was just having fun too. If you’re on his route, he even says that he didn’t realize how big of a problem it would be by choosing Hope at the disaster recoupling, so I don’t think he was playing a game. He was just trying to get his dick wet.

[transgenderer]

I don’t have any followers. Maybe like, 3 idr, at least one was prob a bot.

I have been reblogging with comments for a bit now, but if I click the post, I don’t see my comments anywhere. I feel like Twitter is kinda bad but like I get replies to my replies on Twitter but I never get any response to anything I’ve ever posted on Tumblr.

Also, I think I get what you mean about fake bi. I feel like I’m nominally hetero but my only relationship was same-sex (I feel like this is kinda weird bc sex is not the current term, but saying homo also felt weird, idk), but I didn’t like, do anything—kinda a fake relationship tbh but I still feel like it was meaningful idk. Also, like I find a lot of sexual stuff like repulsive but idk if that’s really ace or whatever bc everyone I know / read describes it as long nothing and if I had 0 reaction, I wouldn’t have a problem, it’s precisely that it’s not 0 impact that makes it so repulsive. Like it’s violating my desire to be totally self-managed—idk I was going to say self-control but self-control like usually means controlling actions not thoughts but the whole point is I like my thoughts controlled. Kinda a tangent but like the point is I feel like the easiest way to solve being bi or not is to like have sex with both women and men and that’s not really an option for my current self-concept—also if I changed genders it would all reverse but kinda irrelevant, idk, it was a thought i had while typing

At this point I’m kinda diary blogging (idk if I’m using that right tbh) on your blog, very unfair of me, but I feel like it requires a certain level of not caring about other people to inflict yourself as a distinct consciousness on them—like if you really cared you would wait for them to talk to you, you doing it unasked is just putting yourself above them—long ways of saying I feel kinda bad about sending this ask but not enough to, like not do it, yanno

I don’t really have a point, ig I just feel like engaging in a kind of stilted conversation—idk if I’m like lonely, every-time I talk to people for real I hate it and them and people generally but like I’m sending this, so obviously not living my principles strictly

hmm, the comments are like, in the middle thingy

^ the comments.

anyway, being sex repulsed is definitely like, A Thing, altho not a thing i know a lot abt. its just how some people are, but some people want to and can change it i think? idk

anyway dont worry about sending me asks! if i find an ask boring or cant think of a response or w/e i just delete it so like. no skin off my back yknow!

and yeah i get it in a i-hate-everybody headspace sometimes, its usually way less bad when i talk with people in person

[arrtemisia]

Hey so... If you could redo cannon Makoto what would you do? How would she change? I'm curious cause out of the main cast she was the only one that I just couldn't get a solid interest in (aside from Ann but that's just cause the idea of her being a fashion model confuses me more than anything I think)

God. So much stuff.

There's a couple big things about her that bug me, and none of them really change at all in her canon vs fanon portrayal, which means it's hard for me to enjoy her even in fanworks. In my opinion, I think her biggest flaw is that she's simply miscast, and her character would have worked much better as a confidant instead of a thief, which would've given her a place of her own to shine and avoid the weird dissonance between different aspects of her character (and this was actually their original plan, so Hifumi would have taken her place which. She would've fit in much better imo bc she's actually suffered under another's will like every single one of the others and she's an actual strategist instead of just """smart,""' but that's a topic for another post), but since we're talking about how I'd personally fix Makoto in the role she currently fills, I'm going to list some of the issues I take with her and potential solutions.

First of all, just to get it out of the way, she needs an actual reason to be here. She doesn't have one, full stop.

The big thing tying the thieves together is that they're all victims of abuse and oppression who rebel against their tormentors and want to prevent anyone else from suffering like they did. I'm not saying Makoto has never struggled, because she has, but it's really, really not the same type of struggle.

This leads to weird moments where everything about Makoto's personality and characterization, such as being a stickler for the rules, idolizing the police, etc mean that she has no in-character reason to stick with the thieves after kaneshiro is dealt with and should maybe even be opposing the thieves' way of doing things, but the plot drags her along anyway because the game really wants her to be a party member. And really, what's up with her awakening? She gets threatened once and then bang-boom-kapow she has a persona? It's weak.

Also before anyone says "well all those things about her personality change when she awakens and she sheds her good girl personality and yada yada," no she doesn't, actually, and I'm getting there I promise

The easiest solution here is also the most drastic. Swap when Makoto and Akechi join. This kills two birds with one stone; Makoto gets an actual reason to awaken through Sae, and Akechi's betrayal hits harder because he's pretending to be with you for longer (although admittedly this is much less needed on Akechi's part ever since royal).

Not only does this give Makoto a much stronger reason to awaken and join in the first place (Sae starts twisting into something horrible and Makoto wants to help both stop and save her), but it also gives her an internally consistent reason to stick around. Before, unlike the others (who all at least have "I want to stop others from feeling like I did," or in Futaba's case, "I wanna find the ppl who killed my mom."), once Kaneshiro is done with, Makoto has no real big personal reason to stick around other than "I'm a thief now and the plot says so ig." Now, of COURSE she'd want to go after Shido because he's the one that was manipulating her sister, and after that of COURSE she'd want to help take down mr divine sippy cup in order to get Shido tried and jailed.

However, if we're not going to shuffle around the order of party members bc that'd nuke the canon plot a little, then we need to rework the entire Kaneshiro arc and/or Makoto's backstory and values as a whole. Yeah this is why the first solution was the easy one.

I'm going to go in-depth about how I feel Makoto's personality and values should be reworked later I'M GETTING THERE, so I'll talk about that then. As for reworking Kaneshiro, I... don't have a whole lot of ideas. The palace itself is fine, it has one of the coolest atmospheres in the game (c'mon, there's got to be a fun bank heist in a game like this), but Makoto's connection with him is very weak. Maybe have it be that he was extorting her for years in secret and she never said anything? Maybe have him be the one that ordered the hit on her father? I'm not sure what would be strong enough to match to the other palace leaders, without feeling forced. I'll have to come up with more ideas for this one.

The second big issue I have with her is less of one specific thing and more of a collection of smaller problems that all come from the same source. She waltzes in, takes over, and starts acting like she's the boss of things. She then names herself the "strategist" and yet only ever states the obvious and, to use a word I hate, mansplains things to you that you already learned two palaces ago. She's constantly condescending and passive agressive to the other team members, especially Ann and Ryuji, berates everyone for not being as naturally book smart as her when all the other characters are smart in their own ways and just not good at academia, all the while everyone around her, even characters that normally wouldn't take that (ryuji, ann) or are too prideful to admit to anyone bring better (mona), are constantly like "You're so cool, Makoto!"

It's a classic case of show don't tell, and rhe game is obsessed with telling you that Makoto is "smart" and "cool." Once she joins the team, all the characters that were originally shown to be smart in their own ways are never allowed to say anything meaningful ever again bc Makoto is the "smart" one. She never does anything particularly different compared to the other party members, but the game is constantly insisting she's special.

I'm very hesitant to call her a mary sue, because I don't think she is one, and also I disagree with the use of that term at all as these days it's just meant to devalue powerful characters that happen to be girls, but I definitely think she's emblematic of a common writing flaw that can lead to mary sues. The problem with making a character the "smart" one as a personality trait instead of something that just comes naturally is that you have to dumb down everyone else's characterization to make them look smarter or cooler by comparison. It means that the character you're trying to prop up bends everyone else around them, making them act in ways they normally wouldn't in order to make the one character you're trying to look cool seem better by comparison.

This has an easy solution: cut that shit out. Have her slowly find her place on the team naturally instead of forcing her way in as a pseudo-leader. Don't give every single "well, duh" line to her, and cut the scenes where she stands around explaining obvious things you already know in a condescending manner so she looks smarter. Let the other characters actually act like themselves when they're in the same room as her instead of bending around her to prop her up. Have her treat those characters with respect in turn, bc for all intents and purposes when it comes to thief stuff they are her senpai, instead of just having her act like she's better than them, or boss them around, or be passive agressive about the fact that their grades are bad. Show that other characters are smart in other ways instead of acting like Makoto's book smarts are the end-all be-all. And for fuck's sake, stop acting like "smart" and "punches stuff real good" are personality traits, which leads me into my last big point.

Makoto and Queen don't really feel like the same character. Okay, so to explain this, let's walk through her awakening again.

Makoto is a good girl who's a stickler for the rules, sucks up to authority, idolizes the police, is obsessed with her grades and academic performance, and looks down on others who don't do the same. A couple people call her useless and then she gets threatened by a mob boss, after which she decides to live her life for herself and completely shed her good girl lifestyle and rebel against everyone pressuring her.

That is, except for the teensy tiny detail where she doesn't.

Nothing significant about her personality changes all post her awakening and joining the thieves, aside from the part where she sucks up to authority maybe a little less. She's still uptight, her grades (and the grades of those on her team) are still her top priority, she still idolizes the law and those enforcing it.

Y'see, persona has a bit of a common problem with saying one thing about a character, be it making a reveal or saying they're gonna change in some big way, but not fully committing to it. You can see it most in p4 (party members saying they're gonna quit/stop/do whatever and then backtracking in the last two ranks of their social link), but it's rarely so severe that it completely ruins their personality and character arc as a whole. Makoto, I feel, is the main exception.

The writers want Makoto to become this tough, rebellious biker queen who oozes badassery in every move and will never follow anyone's wishes for her ever again, but they also want to keep her old personality of the uptight naive rule-following law-abiding academic. So, instead of altering one to better fit the other, they try to do both... badly.

Instead of integrating the two parts of her personality, it just feels like she swaps between them whenever the plot calls for it which is really, really jarring. She'll be stuttering about following the rules and getting to know her generation one second, and then the next she'll be yelling about mowing down shadows with her motorcyle the next. It feels like Queen and Makoto are two separate uninteresting half-characters, with only a couple personality traits each, instead of one whole well-rounded character.

Either rework Makoto's thief aesthetic to better suit her personality as a whole and give her something other than "I'm totally not a good girl anymore" to make her compelling, or actually commit to Makoto shedding her past life everyone around her had forced on her and change her personality. Have her grades start to slip, have her talk back to Sae, change the way she dresses so it's rougher and less perfect, hell, maybe even have her quit student council. Just, anything to make her more well-rounded as a character.

I have some other nitpicks with her here and there, like the fact that her confidant is actually just Eiko's confidant and doesn't give Makoto herself any development, or the way the game keeps trying to set her up as Joker's waifu or whatever, but those are just that; nitpicks. The three big things I mentioned earlier - her not having a compelling personal reason to be a part of the thieves, the way the writers shove her into the spotlight by putting down everyone around her, and the fact that her characterization is just one badass half and one smart half that don't mesh and have little else in between - are the problems I feel are what's actually holding her character back.

Again, I do think that all of this stems from the fact that she's miscast, but it's too late to fix that now. While I personally really dislike Makoto, I do kind of understand her appeal for others when she's written well, and she's a totally valid character to like. I just wish she was portrayed better.

(Also, if anyone wants to reblog this, feel free I ask that you please don't put this in Makoto's main character tag. I know how much it sucks to get a bunch of negativity in a character's main tags as I am an Edelgard fe3h fan)

[visceraah]

The sound of music

(aka i’m so sorry for naming it after a musical it has nothing to do with dkjsdjksdjk names are hard)

My gift for @anianthe for @sanderssidesgiftxchange

Rating- Teen cause i’m incapable of not writing wayyy more swears then are necessary-

WC- 2947

Ship- Just Virgil interacting w the other sides,, feel free to interpret romantically if you want!

Warnings- not really any! Remus shows up briefly so.. beware of that. and ig Virgil is also kinda mean bUT he does it affectionately.

AO3

-

“We’re having a movie night!”

Virgil blinked. Took off his his headphones which, unfortunately, hadn’t been playing anything- he wore them out of habit, sometimes- meaning he heard everything his stupid best friend just said.

“No, we aren’t.”

Roman flopped down on his bed without waiting for any indication it was okay, something Virgil was all too used to. “We are now.”

Virgil sighed heavily and pushed Roman with his foot, trying to roll him off the bed. He didn’t budge. “And if I don’t want to?”

“Pleaseeee?” Roman employed the puppy dog eyes and Virgil knew already this was a losing battle. Ugh.

“I get to pick the movie.”

Roman perked up immediately, coming to sit next to him. “Yes! Okay! Just- Disney?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, wondering if Roman was capable of consuming content made by anyone else. He was beginning to doubt it. “Nightmare Before Christmas, then.”

“Predictable.” Roman murmured smugly, and he elbowed him.

“You want this movie night or not?”

“Okay, okay! I yield!” Roman cried, clutching his ribs. Virgil was pretty sure he was more upset at the prospect of a cancelled movie night then the ‘pain’ he was overplaying right now.

“Okay.” Virgil agreed, smugly, and set the movie on.

He’d seen it a million times already, which for most people would only make it boring by now- but Virgil found comfort in familiar things. Plus, that animation! He could happily watch it a million more times- and, honestly, probably would.

That meant he had it memorised, though, and soon enough he was singing along to the introduction under his breath. He listened along contently, until an unfamiliar third voice joined the chorus, and he startled, looking to the side. “Roman?”

Roman stared back, raising an eyebrow at him. “... Hi.”

“Were you singing along?”

Romans eyes flicked between Virgil and the screen, where the movie was still playing, in confusion. “Yes, Dr Gloom? Look, I know what a downer you love to be, but these pipes can’t stay closed all the time! They need exercise- and, the world deserves- neigh, needs to hear them!”

Virgil huffed at the dramatics, although it was fond. “I never said it was a problem, Sir Sing-a-lot, I’m just surprised.”

“One, that’s not an insult and I’m absolutely using that,” Roman retorted, “And two… It’s Disney! One of their best! Do you really expect me to not know the words?”

Virgil snorted, but he had to admit, he couldn’t disagree with that. “Whatever, nerd.”

Roman gasped, somehow seeming more upset than when Virgil had elbowed him. Of course that’d be what got to him. “I am not! I’m a prince- a very princely prince! Not-”

“Whatever you say, prince of the nerds.” Virgil hummed out, smirking to himself. Maybe Roman bursting in out of nowhere wasn’t so bad… This time. He still hated surprises and would not be convinced to do this again. He said that every time

-

Being Romans best friend, unfortunately, had its side effects. One was unplanned, unannounced Disney marathons he had no choice but to roll with. Another was actually listening to his musicals so often he learned to like them, too.

For all he said about Hamilton being overrated (and Romans reaction was priceless every time), he had to admit it was good. A little fast for him to keep with, but he rarely sang along to his songs anyway, preferring to hum quietly unless he was really in the mood.

He liked keeping his music to himself, too- he didn’t want to annoy anyone, so he always wore headphones- but sometimes he just wanted to drown the world out, and they went to full volume. Worked a treat to drown everyone out, but plenty audible to everyone else in the room. Sometimes, though, they’d just have to live with it.

Today was one of those days, where Virgil didn’t want to speak to anybody and had the volume to show it. He was playing one of Princeys musicals, too, humming along to ‘my shot’ no matter how different it was to his normal taste. He nodded in acknowledgement as he passed Logan on his beeline for the fridge, planning on grabbing the easiest and least healthy snack possible.

Retreating with his bag of marshmallows in hand- he was pretty sure they weren’t meant to be in the fridge, but they were imaginary, so maybe nothing needed to go in the fridge. Holy shit.

He pulled the headphones back, opening his mouth to ask Logan's opinion, when he heard a sound that made him freeze in his tracks.

Logan was rapping along to himself. And well. Jesus, how had he forgotten about that? He stared, still in disbelief, and Logan awkwardly trailed off when he noticed his gaze. “Ah, you could hear me.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to ask… Doesn’t matter. Holy shit, Lo, you’re amazing.”

Logan flushed slightly, looking down at the table. “I simply have an appreciation of the genre, and Hamilton has some particular, uhm- how would you say? ‘Bangers’.”

Virgil laughed, slipping into the seat opposite him and taking the headphones off completely. “Dude, I’ve spent enough time with Roman to know having an ‘appreciation’ doesn’t mean you can pull something off.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly fighting back a smile. “I am not sure he’d appreciate you saying that.”

“Eh, I’ve said it to his face before- and will again.” Virgil dismissed, feeling his lips turn up as well. “Why don’t you do it more?”

Logan shrugged, adjusting his glasses awkwardly. “It is hardly a logical skill for me to have, so it simply… Hasn’t come up.”

“Ro doesn’t need an excuse for songs to ‘come up’ before he starts singing them.” Virgil pointed out, and Logan chuffed.

“No, he certainly doesn’t. But we are different people.”

Virgil laughed, nodding. “You could say that again.”

“Oh. Alright, we are differen-”

“It’s an expression, dude. Come on.” Virgil interrupted, sounding nothing but fond as Logan widened his eyes in realisation.

“A highly illogical one, but alright. I can add it to my flashcards to avoid further confusion.” He decided, pulling out his deck there and then to add to. He paused when he heard the crackling of a plastic bag pulled open, looking up as Virgil helped himself to a marshmallow. “Please do not tell me you intend on consuming that entire bag.”

“Maybe.” Virgil held it out, grinning now. “Want one?”

“A key ingredient is gelatin, created by boiling down a pig or cows bones, skin, ligaments or tendons.” Logan deadpanned, and Virgil almost threw the whole bag away in disgust before he remembered,

“But they’re imaginary!”

Logan titled his head. “I suppose so.”

“Actually, I was thinking…” Virgil began, curious about how the fridge actually worked. Soon enough Logan was in a full-fledged rant about mindscape food, and half of it went over his head, but he didn’t mind listening. It was interesting, after all.

-

Whatever concerns Virgil had about not bothering anyone with his music, the other sides didn’t share them. Roman didn’t hesitate to sing whatever came to mind as it came to mind, offering full renditions of his favourite musical tracks daily, Logan could be heard humming to himself as he worked, Remus had no restraint about… Anything, really, and this was no different, Janus wasn’t exactly considerate, and Patton- Patton was the worst at all.

He wandered the mindscape belting out whatever was in his head at the moment which, as a father figure, was always old, tacky, and bad. They’d learned to ignore it for the most part, but some of the songs he played… Some of them were just unforgivable. And, sitting on the couch as Patton tidied up a little, Virgil had left himself completely at their mercy.

“JOLENE-”

Virgil pulled his hoodie over his ears, wishing he’d brought his headphones. Or just not left his room. “Please, no.”

“Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeene, I’m begging of you please don’t take my man-”

“Pain, Padre. This is causing me physical pain.” Virgil groaned, slamming his head back in an attempt to make it all stop. Unfortunately, the sofa was soft, and he just bounced back. Eurgh.

“Awh, cmon kiddo! I’m just singing. You could always join me.” Patton chirped, rearranging the same jar for the fourth time in three minutes.

“I might die.” Virgil deadpanned, staring Patton dead in the eyes, and he giggled.

“Don’t be silly… Come on, my music isn’t that bad!”

Virgil couldn’t quite believe his ears. Maybe they were still bleeding from being subjected to Dolly Parton. “You listen to dad music.”

“Well, yeah, but what else did you expect from your pops-”

Virgil groaned louder, shaking his head. “I- whatever. When’d you even start listening to country music?”

“Nico likes it!” Patton replied, brightly, and Virgil bristled.

“That’s it, Thomas has to break it off.”

It took Patton a second to recognize Virgil was joking, and he started laughing. “Don’t be so judgy! I listen to your music- in fact, I quite like being cautious in the disco.”

“Oh my god.” Virgil pulled his hood down further over his eyes, the secondhand embarrassment hitting him full force. “You’re so old.”

“Now, I know I’m no spring chicken, but that’s hardly a nice thing to say-”

“We are all the same age.” Logan interjected as he walked through the room, gone before Virgil could try and drag the only other sane one around him to his aid.

“Look, Patt- I love you, but Dolly is too far.” Jesus, Virgil was spending too much time with Roman. Dramatic ultimatums weren’t his style at all.

“... How about Country Roads?”

“Jesus Christ.” Virgil sunk further back into the sofa, hoping it’d just swallow him and his smile.

-

“I wanna play a song.”

“Get your own headphones.”

“But yours are so loud, they’re basically speakers! You ever turn them up to full volume while they’re on? How loud are they? Oooh, reckon they could rupture your eardrums so blood would bubble out your ears and trail down your face-”

“Stop.” Virgil interrupted with a grimace, before Remus’ imagination could go anywhere gorier. They’d been at this for ten minutes and his answer hadn’t wavered once. “It’s a no, alright? Just… Go away.”

Remus huffed loudly and dropped onto the sofa next to Virgil. Great. “What do you want?”

“Hmmm… Oh, I can do a list!” Remus declared, and before Virgil could tell him please, god, don’t, he was off. “A pony- to disembowel so I can use its guts for ritual purposes, that one dick in a Russian erotica museum they claim is Rasputins and has magical fertility powers, for Barry Bee Benson to be real so I can fu-”

“Alright!” Virgil shuddered and disconnected his headphones. He didn’t know what Remus wanted to do with a literal bee, and he liked it that way. “There.”

Remus grinned a grin with far too many teeth, just a little too sharp, and Virgil rolled his eyes, waiting for whatever monstrosity he was about to hear.

 There’s some whores in this house, there’s some-

“You did not just play WAP!” Virgil punched Remus in the arm, pulling his headphones off “You- I swear to God, don’t do the dance.”

Remus was already halfway stood up and Virgil quickly pulled him back down. He’d never wanted Remus to stay sat next to him more in his life. (To be fair, it wasn’t something he felt often.)

“But I already know it!”

“Of course you do.” Virgil grumbled, glancing over at Remus. “Why do you have to play… This, up here?”

“Jannie’s kicked me out, you know how he is.”

Virgil blinked at him, regretting what he was about to say before the words even left his mouth. “If I get him to back off, will you keep your music to the dark side?”

“That’s not fun, though! Ooh, wait, Logan likes rap, doesn’t he? Reckon he’d like to see the dance?”

Virgil stared at Remus blankly. “Please, say that was a joke.”

“It wasn’t! If you wanna hear one, though… Ooh, ok. Two kids walk into a hospice- ”

“No.” Virgil interrupted again, although even he had to snort a little at how ridiculous it was. Even if it was also deeply, deeply twisted. “I- look, I’m gonna do it.”

Remus tilted his head further then looked natural. Virgil was pretty sure he heard a crack. “Thought you hated me and Double Dee.”

“I- I’m just doing this for my sanity, alright? And Logans.” Virgil snapped back, avoiding meeting his eyes.

Avoiding things didn’t work with Remus, though, and soon enough he was uncomfortably close, peering right at Virgil with that unsettling grin. “Awww, Purps is being nice to us.”

“Shut up.” Virgil hissed, sinking out before Remus could pry any further. Creativity was so pushy, Jesus.

-

Virgil shuddered. He hadn’t been in the dark side of the mindscape in years and, after so long of the bright upstairs, the dark walls felt a little claustrophobic. He just needed to make this quick.

He strode down the hallway, trying to squash the growing nervousness in his stomach. What was the worst that could happen?

… Literally the worst thing he could’ve asked himself, he realised, speeding up subconsciously. So much could go wrong, while he was down here, and he didn’t even know where Deceit was, what if he tripped and fell and broke something and nobody would-

Piano, faint, made him stop in his tracks.

He wasn’t really an expert in classical music, but this had to be one of the more famous pieces, because he’d definitely heard it before. It was good, though, Mozart or something. Pretty difficult, too.

Exactly the kind of pretentious shit Deceit would play, and kick Remus out to enjoy. (Although Virgil couldn’t really blame him for that second part). Emboldened now he knew he wasn’t alone, and could make some jokes about what a snob he was, Virgil entered the room the sound was coming from.

He paled, because in front of him sat Deceit. At a piano. Playing the song.

“Since when do you play.”

Deceit only glanced up at Virgil, the melody smooth even with the interruption. He hated to admit it, but it was impressive. “Things have been quiet. I had time.”

“Quiet? With Remus?”

“I made things quiet.” Deceit amended, shrugging nonchalantly. Knowing him, it had probably been meant to sound as murder-y as it did. Didn’t stop Virgil from shuddering, anyway, serving as the perfect reminder of just how desperately he wanted to leave.

“Alright, look- whatever plan or plot this is, or is covering up, I don’t care.”

Deceit sighed, looking up at Virgil without faltering the music once. Jesus, he actually was good. “You’re right, I’m incapable of having any interests whatsoever without there being some deep, sinister plot behind it. You’ve spotted my evil plan.”

“I- alright, sarcasm’s meant to be for something obviously not true! That could be true!” Virgil protested, already feeling like he was losing this.

Deceit just raised an eyebrow at him in response, and Virgil instinctively hissed back, feeling more and more like he was backed into a corner.

Deceit had the nerve to laugh at him. “It’s been a while since you’ve done that.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve had to talk to anyone so- so-” Virgil groaned, glaring at Deceit. “Stop playing that stupid thing, would you?”

“Alright.” Deceit agreed, and Virgil waited. He kept waiting. The piano continued and after an excruciating minute of listening for an end, he cursed. Why had Virgil assumed he’d be honest?

“Dick.”

“That is my legal name.” Deceit agreed dryly, and Virgil rolled his eyes. He was impossible to talk to.

“Look, just let Remus back down. He’s probably scarring Logan as we speak.”

Deceit smiled at the thought, looking back down at the keys as he played them. “I never said he couldn’t be down here. Oh, and I’m sure there’s /nothing/ about ‘scarring’ Logan that could’ve appealed to him.”

“What, so Remus lied?” Virgil crossed his arms. Remus was plenty of things, but one of them was painfully, brutally, upfront and honest. “That’s your thing.”

“Not lied.” Deceit tutted, like scolding a child for not knowing something they should have. Virgil clenched his fists. “Just… Was dramatic.”

Virgil tried to figure out what he meant before realising it meant literally nothing, and he glared at Deceit. “Stop being so cryptic for five seconds and tell me, Jesus.”

“I wasn’t aware you cared about him so much.” Deceit smirked, and Virgil threw his arms up in exasperation.

“I’m trying to get rid of him!”

Deceit snickered but finally, mercifully, seemed to have already had his fun. “I didn’t tell him to get out if he couldn’t just be quiet and not…” His smile faltered… “Dance on the piano.”

Yeah, that expression was priceless. Virgil laughed as Janus furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“Just… Nevermind.” Virgil was pretty sure imagining that scene playing out was enough entertainment to last him weeks. And a reminder that honestly… Remus didn’t cause as much chaos as he gave him credit for. He was all bark… And plenty of bite, too, but nothing too permanent. “Keep playing, or whatever.”

“You aren’t going to demand I fetch the Duke?”

“He’s not a dog.” Virgil dismissed, resisting a smile at Deceit’s murmured ‘ehhhhh’. “He’ll come back when he wants to. And Logan can look after himself.”

“Amazing.” Deceit sighed heavily. “You wasted my time for nothing, then.”

Virgil could be proud of that, at the very least. He grinned in way of response, sending Deceit a nod before he sunk out.

[writersblockpeter]

desperate times and desperate measures | p.p.

summary: you're an avenger on a fake date with peter to get information from a group of villains, and peter has to think quick in order not to blow your cover... wink wink

warnings: ADORABLE, fluff, sketchy-ish situation ig, idk what else

+ + +

"this is gonna be interesting." peter says as you walk into the restaurant, sparks shooting up your arm from holding hands with the boy.

"uh, yeah, not sure why they pulled this for us to catch the guy," you respond quickly as you ignore the small ache in your chest from peter's tone.

you and peter were currently on a fake date in order to get inside details about a bad group the avengers currently had conflict with. when tony announced that they needed two members of the team to go on a fake date, everyone immediately elected you and peter to do it, seeing as it was, in their words, "easiest for everyone". you couldn't help but be slightly excited about it- you'd had a crush on peter ever since your first mission together, and it had only grown. especially after seeing peter in a suit, with you in your favorite dress, you couldn't help but wish the date were real. but, it still burned, as you didn't think he liked you back.

"this was the best way to get information, now can you two look like you're in love or some shit yet?" sam replied through your earpieces, making you lightly laugh at his words.

not gonna be difficult for me, you thought.

you follow the waiter to your table, peter surprising you by giving your hand a small squeeze. you look up at him, eyes meeting his brown ones as he gives you a small, knowing smile. the waiter leaves you at your table and you let your gaze shift over, seeing that the villains were at the table next to you. your eyes widen as a few members look up at you and peter. acting quickly, you get on your toes, planting a kiss on peter's cheek, trying to hide your red cheeks.

peter pulls out your chair and lets you sit, pushing you in before going to his seat and giving you a look that screams 'what was that about?'

"they were looking at us," you mutter, grabbing the menu and looking at the options.

"you two better not spend all my money," tony says. "actually, get whatever you want. we've all been waiting on you two to go on a date, anyways."

your breath hitches and eyes widen at tony's words as your gaze stays glued on the menu to hide your expression.  peter clears his throat and you look up to see he was also looking flusteredly at his menu. you purse your lips as the waiter returns and you both order a water.

"so..." peter says, only making you feel the awkward tension more. the two of you could normally talk for hours as you were best friends, but the fact that you were pretty much on a date threw the two of you off balance.

"so..." you copy, tapping your fingers nervously against your thigh, trying to think of something to talk about.

"give me your hand." peter whisper quickly, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you. you do so, lifting your hand to rest on the table as he grabs it, wrapping his fingers around your palm. he begins running his thumb over your knuckles, making you slightly shiver.

the waiter brings your water and you order your food, taking the opportunity to watch the table next to you. you give peter a knowing gaze as you thank the waiter.

"you two are terrible at this," natasha murmurs through the earpiece, making you laugh.

"not our fault." you mutter, looking at peter with a small smile.

"pete, do something romantic! make her laugh or something," rhodes says, making you wince. you hear the noise of him shoving something into his mouth and furrow your brows.

"are you all eating popcorn right now?" peter asks, a slightly amused look on his face as he glances at you.

"maybe," he replies, voice muffled by the popcorn in his mouth.

you let out a soft scoff, shaking your head as you look over at the villains' table. you notice one of them meet eyes with you and you snap you head back at peter anxiously.

"do something." you whisper, tilting your head to the side, signaling at the table.

"uhm," peter stutters, eyes darting around the room as if to find inspiration. "i'm really glad we're on this date." he says unnaturally loudly, enough for the people at the table next to us to hear him, making you laugh.

"me too." you say, raising your eyebrows playfully. peter laughs.

the waiter brings your food to the table and you both thank him as he walks away, your hand cold as you separate them to eat. you mentally thank yourself for getting chicken alfredo (or whatever your favorite food is) as you shove a pile of the food into your mouth, closing your eyes and humming at the taste. you open your eyes to see peter, who quickly looks away as soon as he notices you looking back at them.

shuffling noises fill the air as the villains begin leaving their table, causing you to turn at them, noticing the knowing looks they give each other. you and peter watch them carefully as they make their way into a hallway and the sound of a door opening is heard.

"follow them, kids." tony says and the two of you stand and you groan lightly.

"my alfredo..." you mutter as you make your way to the hallway, carefully turning the corner and huddling with peter as the two of you peer around the doorway into the room the villains are in. using your telekinetic powers, you plant a device on the lead villain, completing your mission. you and peter let out a collective sigh, but the relief becomes short-lived when a few members suddenly look at the two of you.

"shit," you hurriedly whisper, whipping back around the corner as you hear footsteps getting closer to you.

peter turns to you. "do you trust me?"

"of course," you mutter, looking up at the boy.

before you know it, peter grabs your cheeks, bringing your face to him and smashing your lips against his. your breath hitches before you melt, easing into the kiss and feeling the fireworks go off in your stomach. you wrap your arms around his neck as his hands go to your waist, pushing you against the wall.

the sound of footsteps in next to you makes the two of you pull apart, breathing heavily as you look at one of the bad guys, standing wide-eyed in front of you and peter.

"sorry," he mutters, walking back into the room and shutting the door.

you giggle, leaning your head against the wall as you sigh, running a hand through your hair.

"that worked, i guess," you laugh, trying to brush off the tingling sensation on your lips as you look into peter's brown eyes. he gives you a small, nervous smile. you watch as he hesitates for a moment before opening his mouth.

"i really like you," he breathes out, the look in his eyes desperate.

"you- you what?"

"i like you. i know this was supposed to be a fake date, but i just wanted to let you know that i really like you..." he says, fiddling with his fingers.

"i-i like you too." you whisper.

his eyes seem to light up, thankful that he didn't make a complete fool out of himself. peter steps forward and reconnects your lips. your hands find their way to his hair, tugging at the curls, causing him to let out a soft groan into your mouth.

"whoa there, keep it pg kids!" tony says, causing the two of you to jump apart, faces red. "go finish your food so i know i didn't waste money for nothing."

you and peter laugh as he stretches out his hand and you slip your hand in his, fingers intertwining as you being making your way back to the table.

"my alfredo!"

+ + +

chicken alfredo goes HARD i want some rn

[jainarden-blog]

A Little Bit Of Organization Wouldn’t Hurt A Bit

Today is a searching and researching online day for an end to the endless clutter I have lived with FOREVER! I am so ready to clear the decks both physically/mentally and offline/online and get to some #extremeproductivity.

This is going to involve a lot of thinking and a lot of trying out things to streamline it into this no-fluff ecosystem I am dreaming about, even as I am typing this. A big part of this is to go paperless and also to start using my IOS phone a lot more. The below may seem like a lot of places but the object of my game is to have places to put things where I can go back and retrieve them. My mind and life goes so fast a lot of the time that the clutter, even when it is just mental has a tendency to pile up and to overwhelm me. By clearing physical mess (most importantly paper) and mental overflow, I can create the space I need to be the best me. Two big goals are time to do online study and being fit mind and body.

Read on for tools and thoughts about them:

Tumblr - Reasons for Tumblr: braindumps, writing habit, connection my introvert heart desires at times, and ease of use. Tumblr is good just to write or to spend time reading. I find a lot of the people on Tumblr are pretty deep, creative and wildly entertaining. Tumblr is a good place for introverts.

Saved.io - to try and curb the worthless habit of saving fifty trillion bookmarks and adding to them daily without ever really delving into those websites or using them. No extensions for this. You just add saved.io after the http:// or https:// and to make folder (tags/labels) put a name in front of .saved.io. Super easy. Sign up for an account and have an online spot for bookmarking your heart out

Google Keep - I need something to take down my own thoughts in a browser as I am surfing/researching and do not want to make a big deal out of it. There is a Chrome extension or you can right-click to add notes with tags. Braindumps and a place to satisfy data pack-rat urges. Follows the line of thinking that I am using Google for a lot of things and it’s already there anyway.

Google Calendar - I have multiple Google accounts but one where all my emails and appointments go. I synced this as my main calendar on IOS instead of the default calendar. One calendar to rule them all! Same for the one gmail. There is also an extension to add events quickly, along with the right click option.

Feedbro - RSS feed reader - too bad Google did away with theirs. This takes away some bookmarks for favorite sites/blogs and gives me an easy and fast way to know that I am keeping up with things that are important to me. Clicking the extension lets you “Find feeds on this page,” save feeds and also to open up your feedreader. Feeds can be categorized into folders.

LastPass - I have used this for years on my computers. It is the best password keeper as far as I am concerned. AND FREE! Today, I put it on my phone. I cannot say enough about how great this tool is for your information.

Scanbot - app for scanning in documents by taking a pic of them. This will definitely come in handy for those on-the-go document situations. Things like bills, manuals, purchase papers, etc. I have at home will, most of the time, be scanned in using my printer’s scanner.

Bullet Journal (BuJo) - my offline to-do / to-did and short journal things. I have one for me and one for my computer. The one for my computer has already saved me this year when I was trying to figure out what program was conflicting with another. My memory was helped by my documentation on what programs I had downloaded and when. I also document computer problems: what happened and what helped. Everything in one book - I think everyone should have one of these and I am surprised I never thought of it before this year. My personal BuJo is not one of internet proportions. I tried that and failed miserably and lost all site of what the book was supposed to be for to begin with. I ditched the trying to make it pretty and doing weekly/monthly spreads. I am back to the original version that Carroll Ryder set forth with his inspiration and am a thousand times better for it. This is something I can hold in my hands and look back on from time to time to see exactly how my time on earth went.

SimpleNote - I have a Reminder label in this for to-do’s, but I mostly just write to-do’s on the calendar or on a post-it/index card to throw away. I also document to-do/to-did’s in my personal BuJo. No this program is going to be something I use for some time, I do believe. I decided I am going to document work with this, especially conversations. I never remember the specifics in time so this will be my second work brain. Tags will be people (initials, first name, or my nickname for them). I can then go back to specific conversations that I want to refresh myself on and also for people notes such as date of birth, family (kid/husband/wife name), and/or specific things about them. Also, dates of meetings, project dates,etc. This is in its infancy - I have high hopes for this going forward.

AirTable - This website/app has high potential. I really like that it is set up like an Excel spreadsheet. I have projects set up in it for tracking daily spending, pantry inventory, gifts, etc. etc. etc. This is so customizable!!!! In my pantry list, I can add columns to be able to know what my lowest price on an item was - so in essence, a pantry checker with a price book included. I figure the way I use it will grow as I get used to it and find its value.

mySymptoms -  $$ App for tracking your health. This is the one thing I paid for. I can’t wait to get enough stuff in it for a good PDF download. It is customizable to you, just like the AirTable. You can add/delete the things you want to track and there is a big list of them: drinks, food, medications, supplements, mood, symptoms, bowel, energy, sleep, stress, exercise, environment, and other. Some of these can be extra helpful for people who struggle with certain diseases or triggers. This is certainly a make-it-all-about-you app that can show correlations between a factor(s) causing another factor(s). Or even for people who forget when or how long they took medications or supplements. In my new found goal of creating a life that serves my health - this one is a winning part of it. I will be a participant in my healthcare.

Instagram - because, at times, I like to take photos of food and things I see that I like. And because, I hate Facebook. IG also gives me an easy way to change the way the photos look and share back to myself for other uses and ways to share my account online with my online people-ha. Braindump for photos.

Twitter - because it’s fun... and sometimes informative. Twitter is the quick connection to the rest of the world and let’s anyone fit into it. My favorite parts of the twit are hashtag and whatever “new episode” tv show I am watching. It’s fun to join in with whatever other people think of an episode and throw your two cents in too. I never feel like I am sitting at my house alone on Friday & Saturday nights with #livepd. With the added gifs on posts, it can get quite hilarious.

GoodReads - This is hooked up to my Amazon account and my Amazon account is hooked up to my local library account through Overdrive. So... free books. I read every night on my Kindle app (you can read in your browser too). The books are automatically added to my GoodReads account. At this time, I am 8 books ahead on my goal to read 100 books this year. 

Listal - As for movies, the best site I have found is Listal. You can tag, star and make lists for the movies/tv you watch (along with books, products, people, dvds, and games, if you wish). Many members do a Halloween movie list each year.

Pinterest - this place fulfills my yearnings to save a million quotes, presented in a pretty way and is the easiest way to make kick ass vision boards. I have multiple boards for this very thing: HouseVB, ClothesVB, ThingsVB and so on.

This is the big starting out list. I didn’t want to leave anything out because I need to be clear on what I am really using and be consistent on what accounts I use for what services. Pinterest may be a big black hole, but once set up with mostly productive boards, I can relax knowing that they are helping me visualize the things I want while also letting me do something that is fun (even if sometimes just losing time surfing the internet).The same with Twitter and Instagram. They are black holes for time. But this way they are serving a purpose of entertainment and braindumps to clear the way for good space in my life. I will follow up with this as being productive online is both an important topic for me and also a much needed topic discussion. In my research, I wish more people would post about their systems to help the rest of us out :D

[bunny-rambles]

yeah lmao i've been a language major all the way since high school (that's a thing in italy lol) and just changed my languages once i enrolled into uni ahah :) also known as i hate myself that shit is hard tho french and japanese? as someone who studies or has studied both good luck if you ever wish to restart learning them!! japanese is harrrrd but fun, and i personally find french so fun to speak ahah ;;

imagine being the god of good voice in literally every single dub. only zhongli could do that i love him sigh

also oh my God now that you mentioned yun jin i can just think of scara as an opera singer ;;; i mean he was an opera singer in that genshin!french au i had talked to you eons ago while discussing albedo but ;;; yeah, beautiful gorgeous makeupped scara. what a dream also very very much looking forward to the new scara piece God knows i haven't even read it but i already adore it

oh yes! boba! let's talk about boba! berry's personal recommendation is to start with the most basic one ahah ;; i love the classic milk tea with black or red tea as a base, it's always so good and i feel like it's a good beginner's choice also it's ayato's favourite so you know it has to taste delicious

it's also the easiest to try making at home to be fair!! you just like need to dissolve some sugar in water into a hot pan, when it starts reducing add a bit of tea leaves and once it's nice and infused i just like, strain it straight into cold milk :'' a bit rustic but it works in the hot italian summers

also my like personal fave is matcha latte with salted cream cheese foam on top but matcha has a bit of a strong flavour that not everyone likes so you know, i'd recommend starting with a milder tasting tea if you're not already acquainted to the matcha flavour. also like, tapioca pearls do taste a bit stiff for some people so if you try them and feel like they're not your thing i usually just either ask for them to not be put in my boba or sub them off for other jellies :333

sorry i went on a tangent ahah bubble tea is kind of my thing i literally have a fidelity card for like most of the bubble tea shops in my city and trust me i live in a big city lol

do it! put hearts on your faces, put rhinestones on your faces, put whatever! who cares anyways, the face is yours and you should do whatever the heck makes you smile, not whatever other people might think looks nice. i've started just wearing weird nail polish colours recently and like, i was mildly frown upon for half an hour and then everyone just got used to it and now everyone ended up liking the change lol

me? a wonderful human being? nahhh lmao i'm just used to being the encouraging friend ig. but if my words make you happy then i'm glad!! 💕

gladly accepting the kisses ahah summer nights spent quietly watching romcoms do make you feel a bit touch starved. sending bunches of platonic kisses back!!

- 🍓

So much information about tea,,, I’m definitely taking notes !!

Japanese was making me so confused, I think I’ve learned a few key phrases, or I’ve learned enough to know when something sounds positive or negative or neutral. (Speech patterns,,, sorry for making it sound so complicated) and French,,, Just everything sounds and looks the same with that language after a while T^T I’ve heard that Spanish isn’t that hard, I might try there first if I ever want to learn again. I’m wishing you the best of luck with it though !!

Well, he is called the balladeer, I can definitely see it having some potential. Who knows? He might just be a huge theatre enthusiast !! Oooh you have more about that? I remember you talking about Albedo being a French painter (tiny brain can’t remember the exact name but I know exactly what kind of painting) and it sounded very intriguing.

(If you’ve read the Scara piece, I hope you enjoyed it, let me know <3)

I’m not a huge fan of milk but when it starts getting hot here that actually sounds quite refreshing, I’ve had green tea before and a ‘normal’ tea and that’s the only introduction I’ve had to the tea world hehe;;;;; please go on for as long as you like, I love listening to this !! I just don’t have a lot to say back because it’s something I’m not very knowledgeable in, but I really like encouraging people about their special interests, so if you ever feel like you have to talk about it, my inbox is always here for you <3 Tea must be a very important thing for you to have that many cards oh my goodness

I tried it !! I put make up on last night and it was going really well until I used a really dark shade,,, but I did feel pretty doing it !! The hearts, ehehe,,, I think I’ll just stick with putting heart shaped sequins or gems on my face, my hands are very shaky so it didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. But !! Your advice did work for a little while, thank you <33

You are wonderful. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Even yourself.

I hope you have a good day/night dearest <3

[impala-imagines]

Fandom: Fear the Walking Dead Part: One Word Count: 2,788 Characters: Reader, Troy Otto,  Reader Gender: I don’t think i’ve said. Warnings: Swearing, zombies. That is about it.  Author note: This is based on a request I got for a one shot. I couldn’t help turn this into a fic cause I didn’t feel like they’d just jump into bed with someone, especially someone who had tried to kill them.

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You’d been sat alone in a small room for who knew how long, your head resting against a wall seeing as you’d given up on finding a way out. There was no way out. You were stuck at this post apocalyptic concentration camp until you’d be freed. You just hoped that Alicia and Madison were in a better position than you were right now, you were exhausted but you needed to stay awake, you were alone, defenseless and honestly starting to find yourself rather scared as you sat in the corner of the cold unwelcoming room.

Why did she have to chase Nick? Why did Madison always have to chase him? Part of you understood why, sure. You’d always had feelings for Nick, despite his many flaws. Nick was kind, caring, he made you smile, and he never denied that he had faults. He was rather perfect in your eyes. But then he walked away, he looked at the group as they begged him to come and just walked away into a group of infected, because that was his new high. Then as always, Madison chased him and you were once more left to comfort your best friend, as she watched her mother caring more about her son than her. Alicia was like your sister; well the whole Clark family was your family now. Your parents had been away when the world ended, you never got to see them again, and you didn’t even really know if they were alive. But the Clarks kept you with them, through thick and thin.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you started to picture the way here. You wanted to at least try to figure out if you’d be able to get out of here, once you were reunited with the only family you had. But the issue was all you could picture was the dead bodies that were strewn across the grass. Those poor people, being murdered for who knows what reason? They didn’t look like the infected; you’d seen enough of them between L.A and Mexico to know they weren’t, even if you didn’t get a good look at them. Opening your eyes once again, you wished that you were at least tied up; wouldn’t it be easier if you were? You’d not feel so much like a caged animal if you were, you’d at least feel like a prisoner.

On arrival, your eyes had darted around; trying to see what was going on around you. How many solders, how many had guns, and who would be the easiest to take down. But you’d been quickly distracted by the split up of the group. Travis was taken to one truck, while you, Alicia and Madison the other way. It was then the horrible fearful thoughts had filled your mind, men and women were only ever separated like this for one reason, extermination. You’d always been into History, and all you could think at that moment was that one of these groups was never going to see day again. “Please, please don’t split us up!”  You’d begged at that point, begged and tried to fight to get Travis with you, at least if it was the end of your journey, it should’ve been all of your journeys end, not just one, or three.

Were you all doomed?

The door slowly opened and you found yourself wishing you’d found a weapon to fight with, sitting up you watched as a solder walked into the room carrying a tray. “Sorry to keep you waiting, I was chatting with Madison and Alicia. I lost track of time.” He explained letting out a chuckle as he placed the tray down on the table. “I’m Troy; you must be Y/N? They spoke very highly of you.” Standing up, you scoffed, not even really looking at him. “Where is my family?” You questioned, finally looking him in the eyes.  

He might’ve been the bad guy, he might’ve been holding you prisoner, holding you away from the people who loved you and you loved. But you were rather surprised by his good looks. “Are you alright?” Had you been staring at him? “What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” You replied trying to compose yourself and forget about the good looks of the man in front of you. “Tea?” He motioned to the cups on the table, as he gave you a charming grin. “I’d offer coffee, but it’s sadly not brewed and we have to save energy of course.” Slowly you shook your head. “No thank you, I don’t drink tea.” You replied, folding your arms across your chest, you moved into the room, and a little away from the wall. “Where is my family?”

You watched as Troy took a seat and motioned to the one opposite him, he had a soft smile on his face as he did so, and you found yourself trusting him, even though he was holding you all captive, you couldn’t help yourself. “Are they actually your family?” His question caught you off guard, had Madison said they weren’t family? “No, they’re not. Not by blood anyway, but they’re my family. They’re all I have now, and I don’t want to lose them.” You explained softly looking down at the blonde southern man’s hands as he wrote in a book.

“What are you writing?” You questioned, Troy looked up after a moment and smiled. “I tend to write things about every person I meet.” He explained closing the book and tucking it back inside of his jacket. “What did you write about me?” You couldn’t help but lean forward, the curiosity making your eyes shine softly. Leaning forward, Troy reached out and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through your body. “That’s a secret.” He whispered looking into your eyes as his fingers ran down from your ear to your arm, leaving a trail of Goosebumps along your arm as he went.

The pair of you stared into one another’s eyes as his fingers moved gently over your wrist. “I’ve never seen a group like yours, you all feel as if you’re family, even if it’s not by blood.” Looking down, watching his fingers for a moment, you grinned. “Well, we’ve been through a lot, Alicia is my best friend, and before all of this and I was staying with them. We’ve been through a lot as a group, why wouldn’t we look at each other as family?” You questioned as you felt his hand pull away from you, leaving a strange coldness to run through your body. Finding yourself struggling for the warmth that this stranger had provided you, your hand reached out to take hold of his. Only for a knock on the door to stop you before you were able to touch. “Troy, we’ve got a situation.” Watching as he stood up, your eyes locked with his for one more moment, he couldn’t seem to help giving you a cheeky smile, before turning and opening the door and leaving you alone.

You stared at the door for a few moments, willing it to open and for him to walk back inside, but you knew that was silly. Standing up, you turned and walked over to the couch across the room and sat down. Guilt entered your body as you thought about what had just happened, even if you’d hardly been anywhere near each other, you felt very guilty, as if you were betraying your family. You were almost thankful for the distraction, whoever, or whatever it was had saved you from a moment of complete and utter betrayal, something you weren’t looking to ever do against the Clark family.

You couldn’t help but wonder how any of them would’ve reacted if they had found you together, his hand on your arm, or your hand holding his. There was something about Troy, a strange pull that you found yourself having to him. But you chose to shake it off; it had to be because you missed Nick that was it, that was the reason. Wasn’t it? If only you knew that the reason he left the room was because of Nick, and Travis. Would that change anything? Maybe, but the woman that Nick had with him, was going to cause a big change for you.

You must’ve fallen asleep, because the door flying open caused you to sit up and shake your head. “Y/N, come on! We’re getting out of here.” Getting up, you made your way to the door and froze as you saw what Madison was doing to Troy. Covering your mouth, you pulled your eyes away, knowing you couldn’t look at that. “Y/n, come on!” Pulling your eyes away, you looked at Alicia. “Alicia go and get a car, Y/N try and find our weapons.” You nodded as Madison ordered you to do something; you however couldn’t get that image of Troy out of your mind, it caused a strange uneasy feeling in your stomach. You were sure you could feel the acid starting to move into your throat as you ran. You tried to fight the urge, as your stomach started to flip. “Come on Y/N, focus.”

Thankfully, everyone was more focused on Madison and what she was doing; you were able to find where they’d been holding the guns. But as you rounded the corner you came face to face with a gun. “Hands above your head!” He ordered, causing you to slowly raise your hands above your head, he moved and pulled your arms behind you and started to drag you out. “I can fucking walk!” You snapped as he dragged you to the pit. “Little thief.” He uttered into your ear as he dragged you there, you tried your best to fight him, but knowing he had a gun, sort of didn’t help you.

As you arrived at the pit, your eyes landed on Travis, Alicia and Madison. Rushing over, you hugged them, as someone ordered the solder holding you to let you go. “Thank God you’re-.“ You found yourself pausing and turning around to see him, see Nick. Your heart fluttered, but instantly dropped into your stomach as you saw the girl he was with. Bitter, sickening feeling filled you as you realized that in your mind you’d been chasing a ghost, there were no feelings between you and Nick, not the way you wanted there to be anyway, and that girl was just proof of it all. How could you have been so damn stupid? “Come on, we’re going to get Luciana some treatment, then we’re going.” Looking away from Nick, and the beautiful girl he was with, you followed after them, your heart sinking and feeling as if it was broken.

You guessed the main thing right now was that at least you were all back together now; the family would be able to leave as a group. “Could someone get some more bandages?” Looking up, you nodded softly. “I’ll go.” Walking to the infirmary, you couldn’t believe Nick. Were you just something to pass the time while stuck on the boat? Had those moments together not meant a single thing? That kiss the two of you shared after you nearly died, was that nothing? You guessed it didn’t, guessed that something about that moment had been nothing but a cruel trick. You found yourself wanting to cry, needing to. But you refused to, as the tears appeared, you blinked them away.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” You spoke softly as you walked into the room. Watching the man stand up, you smiled softly. “How are you?” You asked Troy feeling stupid for having to ask that. “Well, someone nearly took my eye, but I guess I’m alright.” Watching him fold his arms, you looked away for a moment, your eyes glancing down. “I should get what I came for and go.” You whispered. “Y/N?” Looking up at him, you found him stood a lot closer now, your heart fluttering as you stared into each other’s eyes. “Come with me; come back to the compound with me. Leave them. Please.” Had you fallen when you were grabbed by that solder earlier, this had to be a dream. How could this person who hardly knew you, ask you to come with them to places unknown?

Feeling his hand touching your cheek, your head shot up. The distance that had been between the two of you was closed, standing with your bodies close to each other you felt your heart pounding. His thumb brushed over your cheek. “Come with me, you’ll be safe. Please.” His head started to tilt as he looked into your conflicted eyes. “Please.” He whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against yours, you found yourself leaning in too. Wanting to taste this man in front of you, regardless of what he’d just done to your family. Something about him pulled you in, every moment you were together, your heart fluttered and you felt alive. He was forthcoming with his feelings, unlike Nick who clearly never wanted you.

“Y/N!” The voice hit your ears, just as your lips were about to touch Troy’s. Pulling away, you turned around. “I’m in here.” You called, clearing your throat as Nick walked inside. “Is everything okay?” You nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, Troy was just getting me some bandages from his pack.” You lied, looking over at Troy who nodded and pulled some from his bag. “Here you go.” Taking them from his hand, you felt that same jolt of electric that had ran through your body on the first meeting. “Think about it.” He whispered softly. Pulling away, he went back to sorting his pack to leave.

Catching up with Nick, you made your way back. “Y/N…” You didn’t dare look at Nick, so many questions bubbling inside of you as you walked. “Whatever it is, can wait Nick. We have to go and help your girlfriend.” You rushed away, but found yourself stopping dead as you saw the infected coming from the other side of the hanger. Before you could even speak, Nick had run off to help them. Looking at the bandages in your hand, you put them into your pocket and raced over to help too. “Get back!” Finding something to fight with, you moved toward Madison and started to fight alongside her.

“Y/N, behind you.” Spinning around you saw an infected moving in to bite you, it was as if someone had placed a spell on you at that moment, you weren’t able to move as it reached out. “Y/N!” You could hear Nick shouting for you, but you still couldn’t raise your weapon, not when it looked like your dad. It was nearly upon you when a gunshot rang out and it was taken out. “Come on, get in the truck!” Looking up, you saw Troy and his men in their truck. “Madison, we have to go.” You told her, snapping out of the trance. “Nick, come on!” You made your way toward the truck, fighting off the dead. You could see Nick wanted to go for the chopper, but right now they needed to just go. “It’s our only option, come on!”

Reaching the truck, your hand was met with Troy’s as he pulled you into the truck. A grin appeared on his face as he looked away and shot down a couple of other infected. “Looks like you’re coming anyway.” He said clearly smirking as he did. “Come on, let’s go!” He shouted banging on the roof the moment Nick and Madison were in as well. “We’re all heading to the same place now.” You collapsed into a space beside Troy, your eyes staring at the group behind you, searching for the sign of the dead that looked like your father. “Are you alright? That undead bastard didn’t get you, did he?” Looking up, you noticed Troy looking down at you and shook your head. “No, I’m fine… it’s just… He looked like my father.” You explained, a look of sadness appearing in your eyes. “It’s alright; we all lose people in this world, it’s okay to be sad.” He said softly, your eyes looking at his hand that was resting on your knee. “How far is it?” Madison interjected, causing Troy to pull his hand away from you and focus on the other woman. Your eyes turned to look out at the dead bodies as you drove through the gates into the road, unaware that you were being stared at with a look of displeasure.

[deansleather]

I’m Here

 Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Prompt: Campfire for @fandomwritingchallenge ‘s June Fandom Writing Challenge (Supernatural Fandom). Also heavily inspired by this imagine.

Summary: After a draining night out, Castiel swoops in to offer you some much needed support and assurance. 

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 1617

Warnings: FLUFF!! Insecure and socially stressed reader, loving+protective Cas, happy times!!

A/N: A very me-infused fic. I tend to be okay socially, but I can get down about myself around others. I hope this provides some comfort and support to anyone who’s felt the same (always know that my ask/message is open). This definitely isn’t to say you need someone to come into your life to fix those things, but we all need a little support from time to time. Of course, FEEDBACK IS SOOOO APPRECIATED! EVEN A LIKE MEANS A LOT!

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“It was as if hope had appeared out of nowhere to settle beside her and it wasn't going anywhere, it wasn't going to desert her now.” ― Alice Hoffman

           You watched the fire flicker to the sky mindlessly. Your face was close to the campfire, almost too close, as you rested your elbows on your knees, holding your head. You just felt so…heavy. You looked around at the smiling faces; everyone was so comfortable. How did they do it? Just communicate so seamlessly; whether it was your own insecurity or their misunderstanding, something always seemed to stand in the way of you enjoying yourself at social gatherings.

           Marshmallows were brought out, it was time for smores. People were happy and laughing, all around you talking about their life and opening up to one another without hesitation. It was so much to swallow; you wanted to be a part of them, yet despised the idea of being like them. With a sigh, you grabbed a stick and a marshmallow, setting it just above the flames to brown. A friend of yours sat next to you, marshmallow and stick in hand.

           “Hey, Y/n, how’re you?” they asked, entirely friendly.

           “I’m doing good, yourself?”

           “Good! Excited about smores.”

           “Yeah, me too,” you nodded. And so it went; conversations about nothing, continuing into no friendship or deeper connection. It was exhausting, and not even for introverted reasons alone. You just wondered if you’d ever find that person who you could have real conversations with.

           You ate your marshmallow, looking around at the other partygoers. They all were engaged with each other, not one person but you sitting silent. It felt wrong to be there, as though you were bringing down the harmony of the night. With a sad smile, you stood up.

           “I think I’m gonna head home,” you announced softly, stretching to feign nonchalance.

           “Aww, why?”

           “It’s so early!”

           “C’mon, Y/n, stay for a bit longer!”

           You faked a laugh. “I would! But I have things to do tomorrow anyway, and I really need some sleep.”

           With that, and a few more boos, you made your way home. It was hard to explain how you felt; they wanted you there, but no matter what you did, you couldn’t really be there. It was strange, but you felt best when you finally made it home. It was cold, so you turned up the heat. You put on the kettle and instantly put on some pajamas. Your hair was pulled back, your makeup off. You felt the most yourself you had all night.          

           Finally, you lied down in bed with some hot tea, closing your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself. You sipped your tea, reveling in the silence for a moment. Just as you set your tea on the night stand, you heard that ever-familiar whooshing sound. You looked up to discover Castiel standing there in all his glory, trench coat and all. You smiled softly.

           “Hey, Cas. What’re you doing here?”

           It was always good to see Cas. You had originally met when you had managed to inadvertently get yourself in the middle of a hunt. It wasn’t too traumatic, just a little shoving around by a demon that they were running after, but the black eyes still haunted you. As Sam and Dean continued after the demon, Cas stayed behind for a moment to check on you, heal all your wounds, and transport you to safety. He left once you were safe to join the boys, but checked on you continually since that day. Despite his many other distractions, he almost became your personal guardian angel, and you were always happy to see him. Though, you couldn’t say it was just for the safety that came with his presence; you weren’t shocked when he first explained his true form, he definitely looked angelic.

           “I came to check on you earlier tonight,” he said gently. “I noticed you left your gathering abruptly; is everything alright?”

           You nodded, curling your legs closer to your body so he had room to sit. Before he sat, he placed his coat on your vanity chair, an action you rarely saw him do. It was nice; maybe he was finally getting as comfortable around you as you were around him.

           “Yeah, everything’s fine. No worries.” You smiled, but you could tell Cas saw right through it. Were you fine?

           “Were the people being mean, Y/n?” Cas pressed, his tone continually gentle, as if he were afraid of breaking you. Tears came to your eyes, but you remained composed.

           “No, no, no…that’s kind of the problem.”

           Cas tilted his head in confusion, his eyes crinkling adorably. You shrugged, sighing softly.

           “It’s hard to explain. It’s really not that big a deal, Cas,” you assured.

           He shook his head. “Your comfort is always important, Y/n. Especially to me.”

           You blushed at the sentiment, continuing reluctantly.

           “Everyone was nice, I just get so caught up in my own head,” you expressed, looking down to your hands self-consciously. “I feel like I’m not funny enough or attractive enough or…just enough, and so I shouldn’t speak or even be there. I know it’s ridiculous. Everyone is usually so nice! That’s why I’m not asking for any sympathy, I know how silly this sounds.”

           Tentatively, you looked back up at Cas after a moment of silence. He looked deep in thought as he stared at you intently. Your blush deepened. You reached up to push a piece of hair from your face, but Cas beat you to it, taking it and placing it softly behind your ear, still clearly pondering something.

           “What?” you finally asked, anxiety building in your stomach at his questionable response.

           “I’m trying to understand,” he admitted.

           “I know, Cas, it really doesn’t make any sense-“

           “Not for the reason you’ve stated.” Cas shakes his head. “If you’re feeling something, it is valid, there is no need to label it. I just can’t understand your reasoning.”

           “For what?” You shook your head, now you becoming the befuddled one.

           “Not funny? Not attractive? I just don’t understand how you’ve come to those conclusions. We’ve spent copious periods of time together, and not one word you’ve spoken has left me disappointed,” Cas spoke, practically to himself. You just started, feeling the pit in your stomach start to fill and ease.

           “I-“ you began, but were quickly cut off once more.

           “And you’re beautiful. Undeniably so. I know Sam and Dean agree.” Somehow, you managed to blush more; you doubted he was supposed to share that piece of information. “I suppose in order for me to help you, you must give me your reasoning for these feelings, because I see no evidence to lead you to these thoughts.”

           Your mouth was open, forming into a large grin as you shook your head.

           “Cas…I don’t know what to say.” You pushed the hair from your face once more, anything to keep your hands busy. All you wanted was to reach out to him. “Thank you.”

           He raised his eyebrows. “Have I helped? I still feel lost.”

           You laughed, finally giving up your restraint and wrapping your arms around him.

           “Oh Cas,” you murmured in his ear. “I’m so glad to have you. I needed to hear what you’ve said more than you know.”

           Slowly, he lifted his arms to return the hug, resting his head in your shoulder.          

           “I’m just glad I could be of assistance,” he assured. “Anytime you need me Y/n, no matter how small the instance, pray for me and I will come to you. I’m here for you, and I always will be.”

           You dabbed the tears from your cheek as the words came from his mouth, finally leaning back from the hug. You were surprised to find his face to be tear covered as well. He smiled sadly, wiping away some of yours with the back of his hand. He breathed deeply.

           “I wish I could make you understand how wonderful I find you, how wonderful everybody finds you, but I can’t. So, you’re just going to have to trust me.” The sincerity in his voice was everything you needed; this was the conversation you had been yearning for.

           “Cas?” you whispered, gathering his tear soaked hand in yours.

           “Yes, Y/n?”

           “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone; not anymore.”

           He smiled softly. “I’m glad to hear that, because I don’t want to be either.”

           Wordlessly, you pointed to your drawers, and Cas immediately followed your directions. He grabbed out one of your cozily large tees and stepped out of your bedroom for a moment, returning in nothing but the shirt and his underwear. You flushed, but kept your gaze always on his face. You flipped back the blankets beside you, and once more Cas obeyed your instruction. As he settled into bed, you grabbed your tea, placing one of his arms around you as you nestled your back closer to his chest. You closed your eyes, listening to the calming beat of his heart.

           That night, you and Cas talked. It was the most you’d talked to someone in ages, but you couldn’t seem to stop. Being with him was addictive; it was all you’d ever wanted and more. He talked to you about history, telling stories in detail of your favorite historical figures and poets. He was gentle and kind and always loving, sometimes stroking your hair, or holding your hand, or just simply pulling you close. With Cas, talking wasn’t a struggle, but an easy flow. Your smile grew larger as the night wore on, and you talked until your tea was gone and your eyes were barely able to stay open. When you finally drifted to sleep, you were at the most peace you’d been in ages, knowing he’d be right there when you woke up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tags, Michelle’s Cas Tags, Pond’s Cas Tags:

 @jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine  @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy  @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean @theficlibrarium @ruprecht0420 @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @theficlibrarium @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @castielspahdehrah @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @MrsJohnSmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @supermoonpanda  @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls  @shortandlongstories @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @bkwrm523 @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @katnharper @impossible-box @tia58 @castiels-forbidden-angel  @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @babypieandwhiskey @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @revwinchester @klaineaholic @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @inmysparetime0 @hexparker @alangel1895 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @for-the-love-of-dean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @mrswhozeewhatsis @idreamofhazel @ilovedean-spn2 @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen @revwinchester @oldfashioncdvillain @your-average-distracted-waffle @drarina1737 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @clueless-gold @melbelle45 

[survivorwakea]

Episode 10: “I CAN FEEL THE MIST IN MY VEINS.” - Jared

im so stupid LMAO i literally had 170 which is a pretty nice score, but then i decided to FUCK IT UP by typing ‘ instead of 1 and so now im fucked and im prolly gonna go home and im just. im rly upset.

me rn: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

so

these people like. really flopped in immunity jahsksjsjwn. like i did too but i won so ! ig slow and steady really does win the race.

anyways. jared wants to vote anabel this round, blindsiding johnny. i told him i don’t think it’s smart yet because we can’t have johnny going to the other side just yet. we first need to make sure there’s no other side for him to run to. luckily bodhi and lily also weren’t down so it’s likely that zack is the vote tonight

chloe... idk. i tried to pitch up our relationship, i clued her in on the vote last round. or. at least i told her that i was voting for ben and i was pretty sure he was going home, which was true. i didn’t tell her about the split but like she didn’t even tell me who she was voting for so like. not to sound like a cocky asshole but i? don’t really benefit from trying to repair our relationship so i don’t see why i’m putting in all the work. i tell her the plan, somewhat, and she doesn’t offer and counter votes, doesn’t make suggestions, nothing. she just says “oh i just don’t wanna be put in a bad spot” like girl we’re way past that. right now, i’m in a better position than her, so it really doesn’t make sense that she’s not even making an attempt. idk that whole paragraph makes me sound like a massive bitch but that’s just how i’m feeling rn. anyways i’m happy i won smth. Woo

Well I may have said that it will be another messy one but I’m hoping it’s not. Jared told me that someone leaked everything from the last vote because when he was talking to Elmo, elmo accidentally told him that they knew. Not feeling so great about that but hoping it’s in everyone’s best interest to get Zach out. I just got to 101 successfully on the board but Johnny and I are doing it so quick I’m worried that someone may have already gotten there. Hoping this isn’t the case and possibly by tomorrow morning I could have it. Or tomorrow evening Johnny could have it. Obviously I would feel good if Johnny got it and I know he has it but I’d much rather have it in my possession just in case. It doesn’t help that I’m out of town this weekend but hoping everyone still keeps me in the loop and that I can compete in tomorrow’s challenge.  

SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO START. last round was a complete MESS! i know the original vote for the other side was to split between me and ben. but then it got switched to chloe and ben. the only reason why i picked chloe over ben is because i felt bad for chloe because she was so emotional and i think she would be a bigger target in front of me then ben since she’s been to every tribal ever and has been safe all the time. people will just think her social game or whatever is fire and not wanna bring her to the end. as for this vote. i don’t really have a choice. i have to just do whatever is gonna keep me safe because i’m clearly in the minority. i know anabel and johnny are a tight ass pair and i think people are starting to see that as well, so hopefully i can use that to my advantage. now, if it wasn’t for johnny and anabel, i would have no idea what really was gonna happen last round. so i feel like i do owe them something, but i really don’t have a choice. i just have to do what’s gonna keep me and only me safe. thankfully, jared said that he’ll vote with elmo chloe and i and vote one of them out. do i believe him? i genuinely do not know but i also dont have a choice but to just take this risk and believe him. hopefully i’m still here by the end of this round and hopefully jared wasn’t lying. i wouldn’t be shocked tho, i been lied to every fucking round. and bodhi and asya and lily don’t even speak to me. people’s jury management is pure shit. lying and then going on mute. idk i guess we’ll see…

SO MUCH SHIT HAS HAPPENED I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO 

if i go home tonight then at least i went home taking a chance. it’s risky and anyone can be lying, but at least i’m trying to do something. and i’ll be able to live with that. i’m not gonna just sit around and wait for my death.

So why has Bodhi barely spoken to me all day and then messaged me asking "how are you voting?" fuck off u knob u pulled an idol out the other night and nearly sent me home ur lucky the vote tonight isn't u

tea from my thread:

so jared wants to make a move on the tumblr 6 with the minority 3 and we need someone for that so jared thinks asya is the easiest flip n we are trying to get 5 votes on anabel for this tribal to weaken johnny essentially if i got my way i would have voted with anabel + johnny for bodhi cuz that way we can still have johnny + anabel at f8 which is a BIG TARGET! but alas, johnny is selfish and wants to take out one more person from the minority before making a move i dont think he realizes that his actions might cause his close ally to go home but ya. rn there is a plan on foot of voting anabel jared/asya/me/zack/chloe would be the majoritea.

this could blow up in my face but i dont think johnny or jared would vote me out i think thats a rzn why i havent been targeted once yet bc i have p good connections to the other side

________________________________________________________________

Anabel is voted out 6-2-1. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.

[deansleather]

In Love With You

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Prompt: Can’t Help Falling in Love- Haley Reinhart for @wildfirewinchester ‘s Birthday Challenge!

Summary: After being saved on a rogue demon hunt, you feel a sense of comfort residing with Sam at the bunker. As your feelings start to strengthen, you can’t help but wonder; can something real be built off all your lies?

If you’d like to join any of my tag lists please message/ ask or add yourself to my google doc tag list! Whatever is easiest for you!

Word Count: 2888

Warnings: fluff and angst, tragic past and dark thoughts of reader (inferred thoughts by actions, could be triggering for some), despite all that still v lovey

A/N: I’ve missed my Sammy! This fic definitely has some angst, but I do feel it’s quite romantic all the same. I hope you enjoy! And, of course, FEEDBACK IS SOOO VERY NEEDED AND APPRECIATED! EVEN JUST A LIKE MEANS THE WORLD!

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“No one ever fell in love gracefully.” ― Connie Brockway, The Bridal Season 

           With labored breath, Sam finally managed to spit out the exorcism chant. The demon had picked one hell of a vessel, seeing as both the highly skilled Winchesters were exhausted by the end of their fight. Halfway through, they were tempted to just kill the damn demon, vessel or no vessel, and call it a day. Sam was quickly thankful that was not their decision. The black of the demon quickly flowed out, pouring into the ground with a sense of finality. Sam looked to Dean uncertainly when a smirk came over your features, as opposed to the usual look of terror after an exorcism was successfully completed.

           “I figured someday I’d come across the Winchesters,” you teased. “Yet somehow this wasn’t how I’d imagined it.”

           Sam’s head swiveled from you to Dean, completely thrown off. “You’re a hunter?”

           You shrugged. “Part-time. I’m obviously not serious enough to get an anti-possession tattoo.”

           “…But you’re serious enough to be in the midst of a demon brothel take down?” Dean shot back, his arms crossed.

           “More like bored enough, but essentially yes.” Both the brothers just stared at you. “Look, this place is like ten minutes away from my family. I’m just in the hunting world enough to know about the happenings. Trust me, I would have loved to have been able to ignore this. Ignorance is bliss and all. I know you two understand.”

           There was silence for a moment, before Dean let out an impressed laugh, looking to Sam.

           “Well, damn,” Dean snorted, looking you up and down. “Aren’t you something.”

           You smiled, but were quickly distracted by the pang in your stomach. Being possessed was hardly a pleasant thing, but it was definitely memorable. You remembered the demon entering you, the feeling of its damned “soul” bumping into yours, the stress as you watched the Winchesters struggle by the actions of your own hands. Blood soaked through your shirt from your fight with Sam and Dean, the cut deep enough to make you weary, but not enough to keep you down.

           “She’s hurt,” Sam whispered to himself, rushing to you just in time to save you from your own weak knees. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you prayed to whatever higher being there was that you didn’t faint.  

           “Hmm,” you purred, feeling as your eyes drooped. “You must be the pretty one everyone always talks about.”

           Sam laughed, gathering you entirely in his arms with ease. “That’s probably Dean, but I’ll take it.”

           You looked to the shorter brother and back to your current knight, feeling a resounding injustice in that fact. “I don’t know about that.”

           “Ouch,” Dean huffed, trailing behind Sam and you. “If you weren’t obviously delirious, I might be offended.”

           You smiled softly, your vision blackening more and more. “I just have a thing for hair, is all.”

           The words just escaped your lips before your vision went entirely black, your body going limp in Sam’s arms. The last thing you heard was Sam’s panicked tone before going into a deep sleep.

__

           You woke up in a simple bedroom, the blankets tucked around you softly, the open door letting a very dim light in from the hallway. You tried to sit up, but immediately gave up that plan. Your head was swimming, your entire body weak. Fighting monsters wasn’t new to you, but there was something seriously disconcerting about being possessed. The feeling of hopelessness, the complete lack of control, the disgust at what your own body was doing; it was a lot to just brush off. Then your mind wandered to what it usually does when you think of hunting; the Winchesters. They had been possessed and beaten and sent to hell, and were still standing. If they could do it, so could you.

           The thought comforted you, until you remembered that they were the last people you’d seen before blacking out. Confused, you rubbed at your eyes with a slight moan, reaching one arm out in hopes of finding a light. Your hand felt up a night stand, reaching until finally you clicked on the table side lamp. You blinked at the sudden influx of bright, turning your head away to recover. You were hurt more than you had thought. Gentle footsteps sounded down the hall, but you were much too weak to care.

           “Oh,” the voice said, stopping at the door frame. “You’re awake. How’re you feeling?”

           His voice was unbelievably gentle, his expression one of complete concern. You blinked, attempting to clear your vision. He held a tray in his hands, the flannel of his shirt rolled up his arms and his hair wildly pulled back. He was disheveled and worried, yet entirely beautiful. You mustered what you could of a smile.

           “I’m alright. Glad to see you instead of some demon.”

           Sam laughed softly, placing the tray on the stand beside you. “At least I’m a bit better than those.”

           Looking at him strangely, you began to question him, but he cut you off before you could.

           “I brought you some soup. It’s just the canned stuff, but it’s all we had and I didn’t want to leave you here to go get something better.” He shuffled slightly, tugging his hair out of its ponytail nervously. “You’re at our bunker. We have some…connections that, uh, can help heal you.”

           “The angel, I’m guessing?” You raised an eyebrow. He nodded, that lovely smile of his shining at you.

           “Yeah, Castiel.” He sat down at the foot of the bed as you scooted to a sitting position, placing the tray on your lap. Gently and slowly, you placed a spoonful of chicken noodle to your lips. Sam cleared his throat.

“Well, I guess we should properly introduce ourselves. I’m Sam, and that was my brother Dean you saw before. Him and Cas are out looking into the source of the brothel.”

You nodded, taking in another spoonful before responding. “I’m Y/n.”

Sam took out his cellphone, quickly placing it on your tray as well. “I’m sure you’ll want to call your family and let them know you’re okay.”

You looked at it for a moment, a feeling of dread in your gut. “Uh… well they didn’t know I was going to hunt, so it’s probably for the best I don’t make them worry. I don’t live with them anyway, so they won’t notice for a while.” The words left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you push the entire tray away for fear of getting sick. Or, even sicker, that is.

“Alright,” Sam said, that note of worry returning. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

You shook your head, but panicked as he started to leave, tray in hand.

“Wait!” you called out. He stopped without thought, turning back on his heel to face you. “I…Can you stay? Please? I just really can’t be alone right now.”

Sam’s eyebrows crinkled at your words, yet he placed the tray back down returned to his place at the foot of the bed. You shook your head, patting the area beside you.

“C’mon,” you smiled. “If you’re going to be stuck in here with me, you might as well get comfortable.”

He smiled back, again obeying your request.

“Hey Sam,” you murmured as he finally relaxed.

“Yeah Y/n?”

“Thank you so much for helping me. I…I really need it right now.”

He rested his head against the bedframe gently, stretching out his legs beside yours. “No worries. It’s not bad for me to get some rest either.”

           You looked around the room, noticing very little of Sam within it. There was the closet filled with flannel, and the gun resting on top of a dresser, but other than that it could have been any average hotel room. The bed was comfortable, but hardly lived in. You wondered if the Winchesters ever really got to sleep.

           “Is this where you live, or do you just pass through here?” you asked softly, afraid to entirely disturb the peaceful silence.

           “We hardly stay at any place long, but this is the closest thing to a home base besides the Impala,” he responded, his tone hushed, mimicking yours.

           “Don’t you ever feel…lonely?”

           Sam was silent for a moment, nothing but the sounds of breathing filling the room. After a bit, he finally responded, still in that soft tone.

           “Yes and no. I mean, I have Dean and Cas, and they’re family and always will be. But sometimes…I don’t know. I just wonder sometimes if there’s more out there, you know?”

           You nodded, your eyes tearing up slightly. ”Yeah, I get it Sam.”

           “What about you? I mean, by the sounds of it, you seem to have people to go back to.” His question was sincere, he could have no idea how much it stung.

           “I suppose,” you finally muttered, letting your eyes close. “I think I’m gonna nap. Would you just stay till I’m asleep?”

           He nodded, patting your leg gently. “I’ll stay as long as you want me.”

           You opened your eyes long enough just to see him blush at his forward statement, before letting yourself drift off, with a strangely content smile on your face.

__

           Weeks passed quickly in the bunker, Sam leaving your side only when a hunt called. You healed without incident with Castiel aiding you, though you still felt the resounding discomfort of having a demon once inside you. You bonded with all the boys, began to care for all of them individually, in different ways. You felt for Dean, understood his mindset, wanted him to find some peace someday. You doted over Cas, feeling a strange sense of motherly instincts over the sometimes-naïve angel. Most of all though, you bonded with Sam.

           You learned how he liked his coffee in the morning, watched how he would gently flick each page of the book he was reading, listened to his off-key humming that he thought no one could hear. He was sweet and soft and warm and the closest thing to sunshine you would ever be able to touch. You wanted his safety at all costs, prayed he could find happiness, and most of all…you loved him.

           It felt strange ever thinking it, but it was true. Somehow, within a matter of a few months, he had become your main reason for living. In that way more than anything, you could relate to Dean. Strange as it may be, you had become a part of the backwards family, yet could never fully let yourself belong with them. It felt so wrong to add yourself in with these people who completely opened their arms to you, when you had never offered up any true information about yourself. It was a crime and a sin, yet the thought of leaving was unbearable.

           The same thoughts swam through your mind on repeat, but you brushed them off as you made breakfast. The boys had just gotten home from a four-day hunt, and were particularly exhausted. You decided they deserved a little pampering; besides, if you were going to live there rent free, you might as well help them out.

           You made up Sam’s coffee in his favorite way, copious cream and scant sugar, and began your way towards his room. You finally managed to convince him to take his bedroom back, seeing as you were no longer in need of a comfortable bed to get well in. It took a lot of back and forth and stubborn statements, but finally you were able to get your way.

           You stopped just outside his door as you heard a soft conversation going on. Ever-so-quietly, you peeked in. Sam lied in bed with Dean sitting near his feet, mirroring you and Sam on your first night at the bunker. Sam rubbed his eyes, shaking his head at whatever Dean had just said. You knew you shouldn’t be creeping, yet you couldn’t pull away.

           “Sam, it’s not like you’re forcing her to be here. She’s choosing to stay. Is that not enough of a hint?”

           “I don’t know, Dean,” Sam refuted. “We’re definitely not ‘part-time’ hunters. I don’t want to drag her deeper into this if it’s not what she wants.”

           “That’s what comes with being with us. She’s heard the stories, she knows.” Dean shook his head, sipping the pure black coffee he had gotten himself earlier. “I say you go for it. I gag each time you look at each other, which is a good sign for you.”

           “You think she feels the same?” Sam asked genuinely, his eyes wide and hopeful.

           “Jesus, you’re dense,” Dean muttered. “Obviously, she does.”

           Your stomach was filled with both knots and butterflies. Finally, you could take it no longer, and knocked lightly at the door. Both the boys startled at your sudden presence.

           “I brought you coffee.” You held up the cup, giving a half-hearted smile. “Hey, Dean, you mind giving us a second?”

           “No problem, sweetheart,” Dean consented, grunting as he stood up. “I think I’m going to spend a little time in bed myself.”

           You smiled sympathetically at Dean as he passed you, the hunt taking a larger toll on him than he was willing to admit. Once he was gone, you entered into Sam’s room silently, shutting the door behind you. You placed the coffee on the stand beside him. Gingerly, you spread out next to him.

           “Thank you,” Sam said shyly. You nodded. “Listen, Y/n, I don’t know what you heard but if anything made you even slightly comfortable I’m so sorry-“

           “No, no, no,” you assured, placing your hand over his mouth before he could continue. “It’s just… I need to tell you something Sam.”

           Sam looked at you seriously, his brow furrowing in the typical Sam manner. “What is it, Y/n? Is everything okay?”

           You swallowed. “Do you remember the night we met, when I said I was there to protect my family?”

           Sam nodded.

           “I was lying. It was all a lie. And so was the whole ‘part-time’ hunter thing. I’m more like a wannabe-retired-hunter.” You sighed, rubbing your face roughly, garnering as much strength as you could to continue. “My family died a few years ago in a hunt. It was demons, a whole bunch of them. I don’t know if they just didn’t notice me or what, but I was the only one who lived.”

           “Y/n,” Sam’s voice was thick with emotion. “I’m sorry-“

           “I’ve done everything these past few years to get the same fate as my family did, even burning off my god-forsaken anti-possession tattoo. So, when I went out that night to ‘protect my family’ against those demons, I wasn’t protecting anybody. I didn’t even want to protect myself, at the time. I wanted to leave my house that night and never come back.” You chuckled to yourself. “In a way, I guess I got what I wanted, just not how I planned.”

           The room was heavy with silence as you both digested what you had said. You felt a huge weight off with the secret revealed, yet your stomach was sick with the thought of what may come next.

           “I guess what I’m saying is, there’s no way you could ruin my life Sam. There’s no way you could drag me into the world of hunting, because I’m about as deep into it as one can get. The only thing you can do is make my life better, less lonely, and you have done that more than I will ever be able to express or thank you for.”

           “Y/n,” Sam finally murmured.

           “Yeah Sam?”

           “Can I tell you something?”

           You closed your eyes, bracing for the worst. “Yeah, whatever you need to say.”

           “I’m in love with you.”

           You remained tense for a moment, before the words finally sunk in.

           “What? Sam, I’ve been lying to you for the entirety of our time together. I don’t deserve love, and certainly not from you.”

           “We were strangers, how could I expect you to tell me your whole life story on the first night? Y/n, I don’t care what skeletons are in your closet or what past you’ve had. All I know is I’m falling in love with you, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I can’t help it.”

           You grinned slowly at him, a shocked laugh erupting from your lips as the words finally began to hit home.

           “Oh, Sam,” you whispered, wrapping your legs gently around his waist until you were straddling him. “I love you.”

           With a feeling of joy completely foreign to you, you grabbed Sam’s face in yours and brought your lips together, his warmth sending shivers through your body. You let yourself drown in the moment, forgetting the secrets and the hurt and the past, letting the safety and comfort of Sam’s arms around you and lips on yours be the only thing on your mind. After a few moments, you pulled a way, your breathing slightly efforted.

           “Guess this means we don’t have to fight over the bedroom anymore,” you teased. Sam rolled his eyes, laughing as he pulled you back in for another kiss. For the rest of the night and every night after, his arms never ceased from wrapping around you, his love always there, even in your darkest moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tags:  @jarnesbrnes @spnashley @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @waywardlullabies @teamfreewill-imagine  @lucifer-in-leather @sunkissedsam @chaos-and-the-calm67 @purgatoan @stardustsam @secret-stashes @supernatural-jackles @peppermintbisexual @winvhesters @nerdwholikesword @frenchybell @feelmyroarrrr @obsessedwithmisha @thinkwriteexpress @wanderingcas @diestiel @kittenofdoomage @fandommaniacx @trinityjadec @hanny-banannyyy  @nothingtoworryaboat @growningupgeek @d-s-winchester @mysteriouslyme81 @jensen-jarpad @deathtonormalcy56 @jpadjackles @mogaruke @satans666thdaughter @bobbysingerismybaby @keepcalmandcarryondean

Sam Tags:    @captain-princess-rose @ophcelia @thing-you-do-with-that-thing

Michelle’s Sam Tags: @mrswhozeewhatsis @vintagevalentinexx @theficlibrarium @blushingsamgirl @bowtiesandapplepie @itsemmyb @ezauraemmaline @matteson-crazed @castielspahdehrah @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @i-never-said-a-pilot @thewinchestielboys @supermoonpanda  @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @fandommaniacx @meganwinchester1999 @kittenofdoomage @samanddeanwinchester67 @prettyxwickedxthings @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien @myfand0msandm0re @olitzisbae @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls  @shortandlongstories @strange-inhumanity-blog @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy @fangirling-instead-of-working @hellbentcrowley @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @roxy-davenport @chrisatplay @kayteonline @spnsimpleman @faith-in-dean @kreborn17 @mamaimpala @for-the-love-of-dean @winchesterfiesta @zanthiasplace @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @skybinx-blog @thebunkerismyhome @feelmyroarrrr @winchesters-princess @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @tia58 @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @jotink78 @everyday-supernatural-af @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @supernatural-jackles @babypieandwhiskey @mysaintsasinner @chelsea-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @wheresthekillswitch @shelovesallthethings @iamreadinginsecret @revwinchester @klaineaholic @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @supernaturalismalife @pinknerdpanda @inmysparetime0 @hexparker 

Pond’s Sam Tags:  @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @blushingsamgirl @notnaturalanahi @bkwrm523 @whispersandwhiskerburn  @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @frenchybell @scorpiongirl1 @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @waywardjoy @mrswhozeewhatsis @captain-princess-rose @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles @idreamofhazel @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @revwinchester @ageekchiclife @your-average-distracted-waffle @drarina1737 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean @winchestersmolder @bohowitchysoul @clueless-gold @melbelle45 @winchester-family-business @writingbeautifulmen