#anyway. if you know me irl i believe this post sufficiently explains like. at least 3 separate things wrong with me. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

featherymainffins · 14 days ago

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To make things funnier in my family, wanting is actually considered a crime. Like I cannot stress how mad my mother gets when anyone gives "I wanted to" as their reasoning. She literally goes on rants about how morally awful it is to want and to do something because you want to, unprompted. I'm not exaggerating btw.

#obviously this funny habit has resulted in me being debilitatingly incapable of doing anything i want to do #unless i have a Good and Beneficial and Productive reason. like I'm not kidding when i say that I can't remember the last time #I used the word 'want'. it feels like saying that I vandalised someone's house. it feels morally wrong. it feels like I'm an awful person.#i try to avoid the situation entirely instead or i try to find different words. i don't even think about it. i just do it. but if you asked #me if i wanted something. well. i wouldn't be able to say yes. and in a way it's way harder to say yes than no.#no is restrained. no is proper. if you refuse a drink well you're just being proper; aren't you? it's good of you. you won't be punished #what you don't want is much less dangerous than what you do. 'i don't want to' is less likely to be punished #though i still prefer to soften it 'i guess i don't want to' 'i don't think i want to' 'probably not' 'i shouldn't'#'i want' are words that have go be followed by 'im sorry. I'll be better. i promise I'll be better.'#anyway. if you know me irl i believe this post sufficiently explains like. at least 3 separate things wrong with me.

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