#anyway. I am crying over the musical so maybe go listen to it lol

[pxme-granate]

I watched the alice by heart musical yesterday and then frantically doodled these screenshots I took because?? 😳😳

[harrywavycurly]

Do you think Eddie would tell Wayne about reader wanting a double date?? How would that go?👀 I know Wayne would knock some sense into him!😂❤️

Hiii lovey!!! So I wasn’t sure if I was gonna actually post this or not but I’m in a really good mood so I’m gonna give y’all this (sorry it’s at a random ass time lol) so I hope y’all enjoy💖

-find all things Trouble Next Door here✨

*also idk if it’s just me but this lowkey might make you sad? I hope not though!*

“She wants to do what now?” “A double date…she thinks it’ll help us move on or something.” “Move on? From…Chrissy and Steve or…” “please don’t start Wayne.” “Sorry…so what are you gonna do?” “Since when have I ever told her no? She seems really set on the idea…been talking about it for the last day or two.” “Who is she thinking of asking on this date?” “No fucking clue…she hasn’t mentioned anyone for her or for me.” “You’re letting her pick who you go on a date with? Damn son…you’ve really got it bad huh?” “I just want her to be happy…that’s all I’ve always wanted for her…really thought Steve was gonna be it for her…fucking asshole.” “But what about you? What’s gonna make you happy Eddie?” “Being in her life..anyway I can.” “How long has it been?” “How long has it been since…what?” “How long have you been in love with her?” “Oh uhm…I uh…I don’t know?” “You don’t know? So it’s been that long then?” “I know there was this moment when I turned sixteen and just got the van…I remember picking her up and just driving around because I was just so excited to be driving on my own and wanted to take her somewhere…I rolled the windows down and had the music up loud and she…she looked over at me with this huge grin on her face and her hair was blowing everywhere and…and I remember wondering if her eyes always had that sort of glow to them when she smiled…and if her laugh always sounded like a melody to a song that I could listen to over and over again…I almost ran a stop sign because I just…couldn’t look away from her.” “Eddie…” “I love her…so fucking much and…and I just want her to be happy Wayne…I need her to be happy.” “What if you’re the one that’ll make her happy? She deserves to know how you’ve been feeling son.” “It’s pointless…She told me she loved Steve more than she loved me.” “Well he was her husband…and she doesn’t know how you feel so maybe she just hasn’t had her moment like you did in the van at sixteen yet…because maybe she doesn’t want to risk loosing you? Have you thought about that?” “I don’t know…” “you deserve to be happy just as much as she does…I think you owe it to yourself to get your feelings out there in the open before you have to watch her be with someone else who we both know won’t be good enough.” “What if she doesn’t feel the same?” “What if she does?…we both know either way you’re gonna cry so might as well just rip the bandaid off and see what happens.” “I hate to say it…but you’re right…” “damn straight I am…now come on…coffees getting cold.”

[ohbo-ohno]

Serial killer AU and the contrast between how Ghoap treat us and other victims. Maybe they're holding our friend group hostage in the basement, and every day we're forced to see pain and torture of our friends and then Ghost drags us upstairs by our hair and....

The softest pillows ever, Soap helds pur hands so we won't struggle as Simon tortures us with cumming over and over again. We're literally covered in blood, they are covered in blood, and Ghost is so mean with everyone( Soap laughs as our friends struggle against his axe and then covers our face with kisses because we're adorable and he wants us to cry forever((

Scaredy cat whiny wet napkin reader who constantly needs to drink because we cry our daily hydration worth, and we don't really get used to them or fall into Stockholm syndrome, we're just terrified enough to comply with them. It's my favorite dynamic tbh, not just falling in love, but mostly submitting out of fear. Ghost is so soft with us, gots us sweets and vegetables even though Soap is moody because of the lack of meat, because we can't bring ourselves to eat normally after we saw what they did to our friends

🎷🐛

i am fucking LOSING IT

you're so real for preferring scared submission over stockholm syndrome btw. stockholm syndrome can be fun but something about complying only because you're scared... it's so delicious...

also... soap wanting meat... if any of you want a cannibal ghostsoap apocalypse au go read this it's sooo good. ghost kidnaps soap and takes him back to his cannibal compound to keep him :( it's written as a love story from ghost's perspective and a horror story from soap's lol it's great

anyways more about serial killer ghoap below the cut :) listened to bilgewater by brown bird while writing this if any of y'all like gothic country music

soap torturing someone with you in the room (because he hates letting you out of his sight) and he keeps taking breaks to come comfort you and gives you kisses IM :((( wipes your tears away and gets streaks of red all over your face, wants to fuck you cause you look so pretty but his victims don't deserve to see you that vulnerable, that's just for him and simon. ties you up in the corner so you don't run, maybe locks you in a little cage (i will put petplay into everything i write like god has challenged me to it personally). gags you because you get real scream-y and tend to beg for their lives, but sometimes has to tug it out so you can throw up :( tells you to close your eyes when he does something particularly nasty, the gore and your terror in the corner nearly enough to get him off without even touching his dick

being soft with you is like their reward to themselves for torturing people so well lmfao. like, they did so good making those people's last moments agonizing and now they get to cuddle up with you <3 washes off their hands and your face, bundles you up real close to them, gets to lay in all the nice soft warmth now.

ghost is so so tender when washing you off (when he doesn't want you covered in blood - sometimes he leaves it for hours, until it flakes off and you nearly scratch it away until you bleed). he's cooing to you while brushing a soft washcloth over you face, humming a little and saying things like you were such a good girl for us. such good bait, led our toys right to us, thank you so much, doll. look so good covered in their blood, wanna paint you with it sometime. that sound nice to you? no? ok, ok, deep breaths, honey, calm down. just relax for me, you're safe. gonna be real sweet to you now, you don't have to be scared anymore.

and they are sweet. place you on a mattress covered in the softest most plush blankets you've ever seen. they set a little stuffed animal in your arms, let you curl around it and hide your face in it. they know it makes you feel better, and they're nice enough to let you hide your face from them for now :( content themselves with pulling you right up into them (making you hold the stuffed animal when they kill people, look at you all smiley and say make sure he doesn't get dirty, baby, picks it up out of a pool of blood and tsks at you all disappointed, tell you to clean him and say gentle, like we are with you whey you get too rough)

actually can't stop thinking about this au it's like a curse

[clevelcnds]

I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE - JOE BURROW

(NOT MY GIF)

warnings: none really, full of angst. joe’s a complete asshole in this. sad ending.

authors note: excuse the grammar errors, i’m not the best at writing lol. lower case is intended!

they all warned you. not to fall for an nfl player. that they weren't good, they were bad news. but did you listen? no.

so here you were, heartbroken over the same man they warned you about, joe burrow. the guy who everyone liked. the man who was arguably the best quarterback in the game.

every woman fell for him, including you. how could you be so stupid? so naive to believe the lies he told you? not listening to those people around you?

you knew he was trouble, deep down you knew that. and still, you fell for his games anyway. the games that every female fell for.

you were sitting on your bed with tears streaming down your face. and the phone in your lap. as you found out joe had been seeing other women.

it wasn't just one though. it was many others. many others who fell for the same damn shit that he said. joe promised you, he'd always be loyal. it didn't seem like that now.

what were you gonna do? he was away for a game.  coming home today. you knew he was trouble, yet fell for him anyway.

your mind went back to when the both of you met. that night. joe had found you, standing on a balcony alone at an NFL party.

————

"all alone?"

you looked over at the voice, immediately recognizing it was joe burrow. you didn't understand why he was talking to you? of all people.

"yeah." you laughed "i hate parties. my dad dragged me here." that's right, your dad. he was an ex nfl player and now a senior reporter.

"well wanna go somewhere else?"

what? joe burrow wanted you to go with him. your mind was spinning. part of you told you not to go. that he was trouble. but you ignored it. it was joe burrow after all.

"but you're supposed to be here."

joe shrugged "i'm already done with my interviews and speech. they can handle things without me.. so what do you say?"

"alright burrow."

joe's lips curved into a smile and put out his hand for you to take. which you did, as he led you out of the party and into his car.

"i didn't get your name." joe mentioned starting his car and driving out of the parking lot.

“y/n”

joe nodded "beautiful name." he said looking over at you. his eyes connecting to yours. the comment made you blush.

the music was playing lightly from his playlist on his phone. it became quiet. you could feel his glances on you, especially on your body.

"we are here."

it was a festival, there weren't many people. joe got out and opened your door. taking your hand in his and walking to it.

"so tell me more about yourself."

"well, i'm twenty-three. i work for a local news channel in cincinnati. i have two cats and i love football and baseball."

"you single?"

you stopped in your tracks did joe burrow just ask if you were single?

"yeah, i am."

"great, that means this is our first date right?"

you laughed "yeah i guess it is huh?"

that night you had the most fun in awhile. with joe winning you a stuffed animal and riding on the ferris wheel. where he pulled you into a kiss. your first kiss that you had with him.

it was magical. so magical. he was so sweet that night. making sure you got home safe. you thought all those rumors were fake. you wanted to believe those rumors were fake. joe treated you like a queen that night.

————

you went back when the first time joe had asked you to be his girlfriend. kissing you with all the passion he had. it was like a dream.  how the both of you devoted that night to each other. your first time with him. everything.

but maybe a part of you wished you would've said no. or wished you never met him. because you wouldn't be here right now, crying over joe. a man who didn't deserve how great you were.

flashback

it was thursday night. joe was hosting a party and of course, invited you. joe had found you in the crowd and dragged you to be alone.

his arms were wrapped around you. it was just the two of you in silence. until joe spoke up, the words he spoke next made you smile. he finally asked the big question after a month and a half of talking.

"y/n."

"yeah?" you asked looking up at him

"i want you to be my girlfriend. i really like you. and i think you're really special."

you smiled at him "i'd love too."

joe pulled you into a kiss. before the both of you walked upstairs to his room. where the both of you had an amazing night. joe said nothing but loving things to you.

———-

it didn't take long for you to notice red flags though. sometimes he'd like other woman's pictures. sometimes he'd go out to parties and bars and never reply to your texts.

other times? joe would flirt with other women. sometimes in front of you. there were rumors he had another girlfriend. but you shrugged it off, saying the media was lying. they always lie anyway, for clickbait.

and when he flirted with other women? you confronted joe about it. only for him to say you were overreacting and that he was just being friendly. that it happens when your are famous. that he only had eyes for you, and only you.

but of course, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. believing him when you shouldn't of. people say you will do crazy things for love. that you would believe anything for love. they were right.

how could you ignore the signs? after all this time now? after every lie?

a knock at your door broke your thoughts. you wiped your tears and got up, it was joe. of course it was, you told him he could come over as soon as he got back.

you unlocked the door looking up at him. maybe it wasn't evident that you were crying, but something was up. joe didn't ask though, instead pulling you into a kiss.

it turned into a make out session but you stopped joe before he tried to take your shirt off. you lightly pushed him off. joe was annoyed.

"what's wrong with you?"

a laugh escapes your lips "what's wrong with me? i don't know joe. maybe it was the fact that you were caught with a different woman?"

it didn't faze him, not at all. the news you found out. he said nothing. you thought he'd deny it or apologize. but he didn't, which made you hurt more.

"so you're not going to say anything?"

"come on y/n you really thought you were special?" joe laughed looking down at you with a smirk on his face. did those words just come out of his mouth?

"what..."

"you really are dumb huh? you're so naive it's crazy. you really thought you were special? or that i loved you? well sorry to let you down but i don't."

"you're an asshole!" you yell with tears streaming down your cheeks.

joe rolled his eyes "your crying? over the truth?"

"gosh, you woman could be so sensitive today. i'm leaving. let me know if you ever want me back, they always do."

"get the hell out of my house."

joe left. leaving you all alone. all the things he said? it was torture. the man who you fell for was a complete asshole.

but again, they warned you. part of you knew he was trouble. yet you still fell.

and now you were blaming yourself. blaming yourself for being in this position.

that was the last time you saw joe. blocking him on everything. hating to see him succeed. going to the playoffs and all the women who were drooling over him. if only they knew who he truly was.

if only.

[missmaywemeetagain]

I’m not big into musicals and although The Phantom of the Opera is probably the most well known one, I have never fully indulged myself in it. What are some of your favorites moments from the musical and what about it changed your life?

(I figured I might as well learn about it and you seem like an amazing teacher!)

Oh, Stephanie, honey darlin’, I just LOVE this can of worms you are opening for me—thank you so much for asking!! ❤️ (Did I spend way to much time on this? yes. Did I love every minute of it? also yes. Did I cry watching the Overture clips? 100% yes.)

So, I was pretty young when I first listened to the soundtrack (only 8), and digging way deep, I’ll say that the drama of the music itself really got to me—the big orchestrations and amazing voices had me instantly hooked. Also, I was so fascinated that almost the entire musical was sung and that made it incredibly interesting to listen to because I could pretty much figure out the whole story just from the lyrics. I had been exposed to musicals prior to this, mainly Disney ones and good ole Rogers and Hammerstein ones, but this was so different. It was dark and scary (murder! crazy genius madman! problematic love story!). It was dramatic af. And it pulled at my heartstrings in a way nothing had ever done before. And I know Phantom isn’t for everyone because the opera-esque style of singing is not everyone’s cup of tea (and honestly, I am not really a classical opera fan either LOL), but I loved it cuz I’d never heard people do such amazing things with their voices before.

I saw it live for the first time just after my 11th birthday (and 12 -13 times since in various places, not counting filmed productions), and I will say I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. There is so much to look at and take in and somehow I always find something new each time I see it. It's a complete spectacle in the best way possible, honestly. It was everything amazing about theater that I longed to be a part of.

It changed my life because I wanted to be Christine Daae (lol). The more I listened, the more I wanted to sing like her and that led me to the fact that this was a musical and people could actually be in this production. So I learned as much as I could about the production and I tried to mold my little voice to be like Christine’s. And moreover, it inspired me to seek out more musicals in a similar vein, which opened an entire new world to me (hey, there Les Miserables and Evita and all the dramatic 70s/80s/90s musicals lol). Basically, Phantom turned me fully into a theater kid. I was already a dancer, and even though I was relatively shy, I thought that maybe, just maybe this was something I could do. And it set me on the path to do so! Lord knows without Phantom I may have ended up a STEM kid, but lol no. Luckily, my parents were SUPER supportive of this new passion and I owe so much to them for all the lessons and theater tickets and performances they had to sit through and for torturing them with the same thing over and over again LOL. Thanks, Mom and Dad! Anyway, I was the ultimate theater/choir kid in high school, and eventually got my Bachelor’s Degree in Theater as well.

Soooo, favorite moments! (There are many—I could go through the whole show but I’ll try to cut it down lol). 

The Overture (see links below). Seriously incredible music, sets the tone for the show, but when you see the stage production and see how the entire set transforms like magic and that chandelier rises above the audience, my god, it’s incredible. The organ kicks in and the floor vibrates and it's this (brilliant) sensory overload that will make you feel every emotion and sensation. It's magnificent, truly. And this was a HUGE deal in theater in the 80s cuz no one had done anything like it before. And let me tell you, there is nothing like watching that chandelier rise (and fall, later) right over your head! Every time I hear it to this day, I get goosebumps, but if I’m watching it, I will cry. That’s how moving it is. Here's some bootlegs of the stage production (which don't quite do it justice, but it'll have to do! WARNING: Flashing lights) Great quality BL (begins around 3:20 but the Prologue is a good watch!). Another one from Broadway (different angle)

The title song (The Phantom of the Opera) number is crazy. I’m not sure what they were thinking putting synth, an organ, strings, and electric guitars together, but somehow it works (the 80s were WILD lol). Throw in a stunning soprano cadenza at the end and it makes it both incredibly surreal and interesting. And the staging is fantastic. There’s a moving catwalk with body doubles. There’s a boat on a dry ice lake with candles rising out of nowhere. It’s just awesome. The costuming is iconic, too. 

The Music of the Night is beautiful. And it takes a major vocal and acting talent to traverse it well. I won’t get too technical vocally, but when done well, this song is so seductive and impactful. It’s a love song about music, about Christine, and it’s innocent and sexual all at once (when done well).

Masquerade (at the top of Act II) is a fabulous ensemble number and the costuming is amazing. Iconic number overall.

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again is my favorite song of the show (if I have to pick). For anyone who’s experienced loss (esp. that of a parent), the lyrics will hit you right in the heart. But I love listening to (and singing) this one so much. 

The Point of No Return is the most underrated number in the show, imo and one of my faves. It is sexy. as. hell. and a bit unexpected, really ramping up the passion btw the Phantom and Christine under the guise of this opera that the Phantom has written and is forcing everyone to perform. A good performance has a lot of nuance and will get you a little hot under the collar. 😏 I honestly don’t feel like I can explain it well enough, but a good watch/listen/reading the lyrics will get you there. 

The Final Lair is the insane climax and it’s a bit of a roller coaster but I love it. You’ll go from hating the Phantom to weeping over him in the span of the scene. 

The staging, sets, costuming, and makeup overall (of the original production). Like I mentioned above, a lot of what they did in Phantom was new tech for the late 80’s and to this day has a pretty stellar effect on stage. The chandelier rising and falling throughout the show is just super cool. The (4 hour) makeup for the Phantom was pretty cutting edge back in the day and has a wonderful effect on stage when done well. 

I highly recommend watching the 25th Anniversary at Royal Albert Hall from 2013 if you can’t see it live. The quality is amazing, the talent is fantastic, and while the staging isn’t quite the original because of the size of the venue, it gives you a pretty good idea of the vibe. If you don’t want to watch the whole thing at first, there are plenty of clips on YouTube of the major numbers via The Shows Must Go On (linked above). (If you are just watching clips, you may want to read a synopsis of the show as a whole so it makes sense what’s going on.) The 2004 film starring Gerald Butler and Emmy Rossum is actually pretty decent from a cinematic perspective (though I have some major qualms about GB's vocal performance) but if it's all you have, its a pretty good representation of the story. And listen, with 35 years of material, there are so many cast recordings and bootlegs, you're bound to find a combo of actors that you like! (I won't dive into that here though, cuz that's a whole other can of worms...)

Anyway, I could go on forever about it, but I will stop there as to not put you to sleep! If you choose to check it out, I hope you enjoy and you’ll have to let me know what you think! ❤️

[theverumproject]

Get To Know Me Tag!

Thank you for the tag @rivenantiqnerd!

I rambled a little too much in this one, woops.

Rules: Answer the questions because I want to get to know you better :D 

Do you have a pet?

No, but I frequently get visited by a cat that is older than I am (She's like 22 or something lol). But my mom, my sister and I have been wanting to get chickens!

Comfort food?

I don't really have one? A steak, maybe?

How many languages do you speak?

My native language is Swissgerman, so naturally I also speak High German and obviously I speak English. So let's say 2.5 languages, because the two Germans are similar, but not the same.

I wanna learn many more languages though, that includes; Romansh, Italian (we had it in school for six fucking years but I can barely speak it), French (these three are the other national languages of Switzerland), Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Greek, Russian, Japanese, Welsh, Old Germanic, Latin, Old English and perhaps spanish. There are just sooo many beautiful languages in the world, though I know I will probably never get past the 2.5. 

Random fact about yourself

As a kid I got so sick of radio music that I didn't listen to any songs with lyrics in them for about 2-3 years. I only listened to Dubstep, which eventually turned into only listening to Deathstep (and some robo and metalstep) for about 2 years.

One day I found a remix of the songs Psychosocial and The Devil in I by Slipknot. Slipknot was my gateway band to metal. I practically only listened to them for probably more than half a year.

And then I discovered aliencore. Aliencore is a subgenre of death metal in which, you guessed it, everything is about aliens. So I got obsessed with Rings of Saturn at first (I still mourn them deeply) and later on with Aversions Crown. So I pretty much only listened to them for probably more than half a year too.

Then I got obsessed with Behemoth and Gorogoroth for a while, that's how I began listening to black metal too. About one or two years ago I got obsessed with Ghost and only listened to them for more than half a year, AGAIN!

That was the last time I obsessed over a band. Now I just listen to a bunch of different bands and artists. I don't have a favorite band at the moment, but my favorite song is Sommer by Nargaroth. I also love Starchild by Wintersun, Fading Memories by Thy Pallor, Wieczernia by Batushka, The Sun, The Moon, The Star by Aether Realm, Million Year Summer by The Angelic Process, The Satanist by Behemoth and a bunch of Slipknot songs like Gently, Iowa, Scissors and The Virus of Life.

I really just rambled about my entire musical journey, fucking hell.

Something you’re proud of?

In my last year of school, we had to do a final project. I chose to write about how I imagined the future to look like. I researched everything to be as scientifically accurate as possible. I had a bunch of ideas for topics, and in the end I ended up with six. They were: “Can you bring artificial intelligence to life?”, “What could the future of space travel possibly look like?”, “How could the cities of the future look like?”, “Will humanity go extinct?” “What is the technological and human singularity?” and “What is my idea of transhumanism?”. (The original titles are in German).

I had a blast during the presentation, I even made somebody cry actually. I showed them a video of ChaosGPT and it actually frightened some. One girl was wiping her tears away. To me this was really funny, because I put the video on 2x speed which made the Mozart music in the background sound really funny. Imagine some evil AI planning to destroy the world, while a girl is crying as Mozart is playing at 2x speed in the background and I just stand in front of the whole class and two teachers, trying to hold my shit together.

Anyway, I got a 6 (best possible grade) for the written work, a 6 for the journal and a 5.8 for the presentation (I talked for over an hour, which was a little too long, but the rest of it was fucking great!!!), so I received a -6 for the whole project. My other teacher also gave me a 6 (It's an unofficial grade though) and the whole class had to give me a grade too, which were all 6s too!

So yeah, I did a fucking amazing job!

Tags: @teamarine777 @creative-author + open tag!

[teknicaldifficulties]

NPMD WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND NOW I'M GONNA TALK ABT IT IN A REALLY DISORGANIZED FASHION

ruth and richie were hilarious characters, and i am GLAD they didn't turn out to be smokescreens for different pre-established characters (...technically? not main characters anyway, but goddamn i was not expecting the paulkins cameo). poor richie, that whole scene with him being like "i'm not a loser anymore, i'm one of the guys! i love life! :)" when we know that he's about to murdered was such a hilarious gut punch, and ruth was just,,, god, diversity win, this sweaty disaster of a teenage girl who gets wedgied to death is canonically bisexual. what a legend.

will branner is INCREDIBLE, holy shit. he steals the show as max in every scene he's in. max may be my favorite villain in the hf stage trilogy, he's as hilarious as he is menacing. he's like. i dunno, jock beetlejuice? something like that. also new ship just dropped, will and jon's unnamed student characters during best of you.

speaking of best of you, god the MUSIC was so great. don't know if it quite beats out black friday for me yet, but it's damn good. literal monster wasn't my favorite like i was expecting, i'll have to give it another listen to pin that down. but still, what a score, not one skip happening once this cast album hits spotify.

pete and steph were once again Cute As Hell, it was really neat seeing their relationship play out over the course of a full show. their "i don't love you but maybe i actually do" song in beanies (forgot what it was called lol whoops) was a banger, and seeing them walk out in their cute lil homecoming outfits in the end put the dumbest smile on my face. also, that reprise of cool as i think i am in act 2 nearly made me cry, joey as pete was a phenomenal choice.

grace,,, holy shit, i love what they did with grace in this show. hearing her call god a son of a bitch before stealing the gun from one of the officers and turning back on them threw me into another goddamn dimension. dirty girl and bully the bully were hilarious songs (feel like i'm overusing that word, but how else can i describe it?), and holy shit, her having sex with max's ghost to vanquish him and then proceeding to go mad with power?? my jaw was dropped, that was incredible. i never could've predicted that in a million years and i've never been more delighted.

me like one month ago: yeah i don't think we're gonna see the lords in black in npmd since this is supposed to be a more standalone hf show than black friday :/. literally all five of the lords in black: we're about to end this dumbasses whole career. that was WILD. their song wasn't my favorite in the show (if only bc it was kinda hard to hear with the digital ticket audio), but i am ecstatic to have canon human designs for all five of them now.

god, i feel like there's more i wanna say, but there's just so much to talk about. all i can say is that after three years of delays, i'm so so happy that we're finally getting to see npmd. dunno how it stacks up against tgwdlm and black friday for me yet, but i'm just overjoyed. can't wait for the youtube version and the cast album, they're gonna be great.

[kloppinthekop]

15 Questions, 15 Friends

Tagged by @kraeki and @ollieflopkins, my tumblr partners in crime hehe

Are you named after anyone? Nope! My name just happens to be something my non-English speaking Chinese relatives can pronounce.

When was the last you cried? Last night I laughed so hard that I cried at a friend’s birthday party when we were playing a silly game. This was a vast improvement over the previous few weeks, when I was crying every day out of frustration over work/colleagues. 🫠

Do you have kids? No. My family’s bloodline dies with me! 😈

What sports do you play/have you played? I am so incredibly not athletic, even though I’m obsessed with watching football (and baseball when I was younger). I did ballet from the ages of about 5-10 years old but I never made it to pointe, which is somewhat of a regret in my life… but I’m very short so I would never have made it as a ballerina anyways. 🩰

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, and it is one of the only ways I stay sane and refrain from saying very brutally honest things at work that would possibly get me fired.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Honestly, I’m not really sure. I think it’s probably different for everyone, but probably hair and face? And if they have a cool/unique sense of style.

What is your eye color? Brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Both, but if I absolutely had to choose one, then happy endings. Especially LGBTQIA+ movies—I’m so sick of sad gay movies that leave you without any sense of hope. There was a time when I sought out the most heart-wrenching stories possible, but now I just want my faves to end up happy.

Any talents? I like to collect small talents/skills here and there when I go into various obsessive phases. Currently I am pretty proud that I can make little earrings and bracelets and such using some chainmaille techniques. I also used to be very good at the piano and violin (my parents have a shelf full of my trophies, and I even won a major scholarship prize when I was younger) but I don’t really touch those instruments now.

Where were you born? Boston! But I didn’t grow up there.

What are your hobbies? Watching movies, listening to music, chainmaille, occasionally cooking or baking, singing along to Kate Bush in the car, etc.

Do you have any pets? No, but I would like to adopt a cat or two!

How tall are you? 5 feet even

Favorite subject at school? English literature — so much so that I got a PhD in it 📚

Dream job? To have no job, lol… But okay, in an ideal world where capitalism does not exist, I’d love to have a job where I could curate playlists, book recommendations, photo and art exhibits, etc. — maybe in a bookshop that I’d own with my queer friends and there would be cats and pretty cocktails and lots of tea.

Tagging (no pressure, esp. if you’ve already done it and I’ve just somehow missed it!): @mebiselfandi @stormoflina @onherereading @lexqa @trenty @photmath @liverpool-enjoyer @jarellquansah @lfc-xnda @moomin279 @immortaltale @trentxaa @endowataru @shob-chop-lai @across-light-and-dark

[epikhightechnology]

@kissporsche

I am sleep deprived and my mind is a mess so this might not make a whole lot of sense. Esp if you're not familiar with the musical. Do not expect greatness cause you wont find it lol

The story begins not with Pete or Vegas but with Porsche because he is Christine in this au. He joins the Opera House owned by idk.. Italians or something, as a dancer. All the bodyguards are ballet dancers in this universe (imagine Big as a ballet dancer and cry with me). They’re trained by Chan (madame Giry. Fits perfectly if you ask me). Porsche quickly becomes best pals with a fellow dancer Pete, they might even live together like in the show.

The Phantom is obviously Vegas. He has the mask and everything cause his asshole dad mutilated him when he was a kid and made him join the circus to earn money. It’s all very tragic and sad really. He spends years being laughed at till one day he’s done with it. He kills his dad and escapes. I’m imagining rain and thunder and tears and then finally peace and quiet that he finds in the basement of an old opera house. He puts on the mask & becomes the Phantom over several years, spending his days tormenting the owners of the opera and writing music in his dungeons. Living his best life lol

Back to the present. One day as Vegas is wandering the hallways like the creep he is, he hears Porsche singing and gets inspired. He is like omg I can make that man a star and make him sing my music. (Also the current primadonna sucks and their singing makes Vegas’ head hurt… lets say it’s Tawan cause we hate him lol. Vegas has been trying to get rid of the bastard for a while now) It’s going great - Porsche is easy to manipulate cause of his childlike dreams of an angel of music that his dead father (or mother?) would send him. Also Porsche is hot and kind and Vegas is kinda delulu for him. He hasn’t had any human contact for years and he is desperate for some love. Porsche gives him a taste of it cause he thinks Vegas is an angel so he speaks with affection to him. Porsche’s bestie Pete notices something is off and keeps an eye out but doesn’t do anything for now, cause Porsche seems to be doing well even if he’s acting a lil weird. Also who could imagine the reality of the situation lol. Pete does see more than the rest tho, he has seen Vegas in the shadows before, but he doesn't connect the dots. Yet.

Then out of nowhere the Italians decide to sell the opera house to Tankhun. Yes Tankhun cause imagine him running an opera. And Arm or something cause he needs a partner. Oh maybe Tay? Idk this needs more thought than I’m capable of at the moment. Anyways.. Vegas is mad cause Tankhun is even worse at running the opera than the previous owners. Even so he does manage to get rid of Tawan and get Porsche on stage, but then fucking KINN shows up and is like hot diggity dog.. Porsche is hot and I love him and Porsche loves him back (they are childhood friends like Christine and Raoul), which simply makes Vegas lose his last marble. He’s been spending months at this point teaching and seducing Porsche and it's taken a lot of work to get Porsche on stage and he’s not about to let Kinn steal him so he goes and kidnaps him (porsche). Takes him to his dungeon and tries to convince him that life there with him could be kinda nice. Cause look at all the good he's done for him. Porsche is listening till his curiosity wins and he tears Vegas' mask off and is disgusted much like Christine the first time she saw the Phantom’s face. Vegas is hurt and lets him go. Convinces himself that Porsche just needs more time, that he just needs to try a little harder. That he has to work more to get that love that he craves.

Porsche is traumatised after the kidnapping. Pete is worried, he sees that something is really wrong even though Porsche doesn't tell him what exactly happened. Kinn is an oblivious idiot, who at this point only cares about this Phantom dude sending everyone threatening notes lol. He and Tankhun decide to disobey everything Vegas is asking for and let Tawan back on stage which leads to no good. Vegas snaps and kills someone. Porsche runs to the rooftop, Kinn follows, they confess to each other and kiss and Vegas’ heart breaks and he brings down the chandelier.

Pete our best boy who has been watching everything go down from the sidelines is like ok this has turned from weird to FUCKED & he decides to investigate. Cause he is a sneaky lil guy and doesn’t like it when his friends get hurt for no good reason. He takes it upon himself to go find this opera ghost and stop him. He finds the entrance to the dungeons behind Porsche’s mirror and goes down there. In the dungeon he is greeted by a very sad scene of Vegas crying his heart out. What a pathetic creature. Except the creature is insane and once he notices and catches Pete he ties him up and spews all his anger and sadness on him. Vegas thinks Pete is a nobody whom no one will miss (and sadly he’s somewhat right) (but Vegas does know who Pete is cause he knows everything) and decides to keep him there to torment while he wallows in his sadness. Very unfortunately the rest of the opera don’t even notice Pete is gone (they’re too busy fixing things and getting their shit back together and Porsche is too busy with Kinn). After a few days of silence they’re thinking - finally we pissed off the phantom so much that he left. When in reality Vegas is planning his revenge. Pete is trying his best to convince him to leave Porsche alone cause obviously Porsche doesn’t like him back but Vegas being the man he is can not let his grudge go. And even though he doesn’t even like Porsche much anymore (cause his heart is opening up to someone else), he wants to take revenge on Kinn.

There’s mad tension between VP. Pete isn’t afraid of what's underneath Vegas’ mask because he has his own scars too. Both physical and emotional. They do share asshole fathers in every universe. They bond over it. And Vegas gets a glimpse under Pete's mask when he notices the way Pete reacts to him and his anger. Something inevitably does happen between them but it doesn't lead to any good because Vegas still thinks he is unlovable (boy thinks love has to be earned and is going about it in all the wrong ways) and he is obsessed with his revenge plot; and Pete our dear Pete thinks Vegas is in love with Porsche cause he thinks himself unlovable too.

The masquerade happens (oh imagine how happy Tankhun would be to throw this party), Vegas crashes it and promises to bring everything down unless they perform his opera. Realising all his efforts to change Vegas' mind have been in vain and Vegas still cares more abt Porsche than him, Pete escapes to go warn his friends about his actual plans. In a way he also rejoins the masquerade when he returns to his life. There is much to be said about masks and stuff in this au but again - my brain has not the capacity to do it rn. Finding out Pete is gone makes Vegas even madder cause he does feel things for him even if he's in denial about it. Cause Pete is the only person ever to not flinch when Vegas looks at him. There's that kindness he's been looking for in Pete but he doesn't let himself see it.

Kinn comes up with his shit plan to catch the Phantom despite Pete’s arguments that it won’t work. The opera happens and everything goes to shit. Vegas once again kidnaps Porsche. Kinn shows up at the dungeon and gets almost killed. They are yelling at each other when Pete arrives. He overhears Vegas making Porsche choose between him and Kinn and he can't take it anymore. He goes all out along the lines of 'you stupid moron, I love you, i can't sing, I'm a shit dancer but I love you and why am I not enough???' Like why is Porsche the end goal here when he obviously hates Vegas? Vegas, Porsche and Kinn are dumbfounded at this. Vegas didn’t really believe that Pete would like him for real. but pete goes on about how vegas ripped pete's mask off and now he's gonna leave him stranded in this world when they could have something together and for what?? It takes vegas a moment to understand what's happening. Kinn uses the opportunity and shoots or stabs or whatever Vegas, takes Porsche and runs. Porsche asks Pete to come with them but he refuses. Kinn is a dick and he drags Porsche away. Pete holds Vegas very fairytale like, very tragic and beautiful. "Say you'll share with me one love, one life time, say the word and I will follow you.."

When the others come to the dungeon to get the phantom, they find it empty. Vegas and Pete have disappeared but they live. Away from all this, somewhere else. Maybe not happily ever after but they live.

Also korn doesnt exist in this universe cause fuck him

[oraclemoontarot]

ahh ur cool to chat with.

im sure kpop has set ways but lately im uncertain as to what they are aiming for... loved enhypens recent comeback it was so cool, did u see it yet? but again theyre an other group I can only really like and its so strange to me when theres teens who r obviously much younger than myself overly obsessing and being possesive over the idols bc i had exactly the same stance about western bgs during the 00s. now im kind of just enjoying them for the music and dont feel the need to deeply obsess over every detail but tarot blogs r so fun to ask qs and find out stuff we couldnt find out about one direction etc etc. it honestly seems so long ago the 00s and its weird bc when u find a new group and theyre so young i have to check difference in age gaps nowadays (lowkey wish there wasnt an age concept at all in society bc then it wouldnt matter). but ngl it is so awkward, like even seeing how ppl nowadays still flock to harry styles home town (yes also did that myself). yet kpop in general has so many cool themes and vast difference in terms of performance styles as well.

ik its only awkward if u make it awkward but ppl kinda take obsessing abt idols way too far. yet we have all been thru that phase so i get it but kpop stans seem next level crazy sometimes in a good way sometimes in a bad way, i also dont get how such delusional obsessions can lead to building closer relationship with said idol like u aint just going to make friends if ur crying over them in front of them yaknow? and other stuff like going to their hotels or following them whilst theyre out in their downtime. i dont think theres ever just been a non crazy time for idols at all. i cant imagine what their dorm rooms must be like cause I bet they all been doing other adult / human things lmfao. yet the way their fans overreact to mere dating rumors is ridiculous atp. or say for instance idols future spouses as well is the topic that seem to get ppl most riled up when it comes to thee sorts of readings. lowkey sometimes i ask why do i need to know but i ask anyway bc why the fuck not then i think its childish of me lol

aw tyy so are you!! I haven't watched their mv or listened to their album yet (if it wasn't a single), but I heard parts of it online and it does sound real good, I used to be an engene so maybe it's a sign to listen to this comeback.

no I get you so much here especially. Being a fan(girl) is so so much fun, you get to watch content, listen to music, learn about the members, go to concerts, collect merch, and meet other fans. There's a whole culture and community around it that, when you first get into kpop, it's so exciting. It's unsurprising people would get obsessed at first.

But yeah, I personally get really excited watching their content or over an idol (ahem haechan) when on my own, but whenever I meet them in person it's like all that excitement disappears and I'm like, 'oh, they're just a guy/person...', and it's really chill. I don't at all know how people think following them around, partaking in every single fancall, and getting overly excited and emotional would lead to them getting close with them.

You know, I think this obsessiveness dies down as we mature/get older. It's like we have other things to focus on, we become more grounded with less free time, and distance ourselves a little more.

Please, just imagining they're probably lying in bed scrolling through videos etc. while at home is kinda funny. They likely do what we do anyway as they're people at the end of the day, it kind of makes you see them more... normally?

We're alike haha. Yeah it's fun, especially with ideal type readings etc. but then you take a step back and think, am I doing too much? 😭

[jellieclogs]

october media recap ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

i love music, movies, tv, podcasts, games, books, and more. here's a recap of things i watched in october 2023!!

music ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚

i've been really into more indie blues type music as autumn comes to a head, my playlist autumn girls this is for you has a bit more songs that i really associate with this season. anyway heres the list!

mitski - my love mine all mine

mitski - i'm your man

these two songs are phenomenal, as is mitski's album "the land is inhospitable and so are we" i actually wrote a brief analysis on my love mine all mine as a love song and breakup song. the feeling it invokes in me is second to none, what a beautiful song.

olivia rodrigo - lacy

sixpence none the richer - kiss me

jane remover - search party

searows - used to be friends

phoebe briders - moon song

iron & wine - flightless bird, american mouth

mazzy star - fade into you

sting - shape of my heart

yeule - software update

yeule - sulky baby

taylor swift - "slut!"

rachel chinouriri - maybe i'm lonely

emile mosseri - jacob and the stone

i actually listen to this song to fall asleep, but i can assure you that i also cry every time i watch those videos on the internet with this song playing in the background. it perfectly encapsulates a feeling of hope and loss. beautifully done. minari was a phenomenal as a (real) movie lover, i love when movies have tracks like this that so clearly stand out from the soundtrack and score.

movies 🎞️✮⋆˙

i haven't watched as many movies as i'd have liked in october, it has been an emotional month to say the least. but, now im on anti-depressants so our regularly scheduled slaying is back. movies will be rated a 1-5 star based on how much i enjoyed it! and NO NOT EVERY MOVIE IS FROM THIS YEAR OR EVEN THIS DECADE <3

talk to me (2022) ★★★★

pearl (2022) ★★★★

the invisible man (2020) ★★★★

child's play (1988) ★★★★

doctor sleep (2019) (fucking insanely good) ★★★★★

bodies bodies bodies (2022) (so camp??) ★★★

call me by your name (2017) ★★★★

silence of the lambs (1991) (this is a perfectly made film. argue with the wall!) ★★★★★

and thats about it, i genuinely have been too busy with school to watch as many films, still have not seen barbie or the fnaf movie because im so busy and too broke to go to the movies constantly LOL. however, i will say what my favorite youtube video topics are currently in my honorable mentions section!!

honorable mentions ˙˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚

my current fave youtubers or streamers :3

dead meat (james and chelsea constantly demonstrate a genuine love for horror and have recently been branching out to video games amidst the SAG strike! love them and their work so much, they have definitely made me into more of a horror movie buff)

wendigoon (i will listen to this man talk about anything, but he constantly raises the bar with how informed he is on topics. he just likes to talk abt weird shit and thats really neat idk)

supertf (ive been watching this guy for over 5 years he is still the funniest ow streamer out there sorry)

kyedae (she is rlly funny and even though valorant is boring to watch i watch her play mostly, however i LOVE when she does variety or horror its so funny how scared she gets)

jacksepticeye (watching him play spiderman 2 bc i don't own a ps5, BUT ALSO sean just has the best playthroughs of games like this. love his takes on the game!!)

mike's mic (olivia wilde nodding gif like if you get it you get it!)

games im playing right now :3

the sims 4 (do i need to explain this rlly... i have 2000 hours on sims... currently building a tiny town for the new expansion pack :3 pics here)

sun haven (started playing with my bf, feels like stardew valley with a bigger world and more things to do! i HATE the fishing mechanic. it is not for me babes)

valorant (playing occasionally as i am not very good, but i have alot of skins so yipee)

overwatch (i have 1600 hours in the game unfortunately. addiction is real guys)

fall guys (just recently started playing with my friends again, idk why anyone wouldnt want to play this its free and fun. theres a hatsune miku skin in the game like CMON)

genshin impact (im actually really invested in fontaine's story, if i had multiple hours a day to game i would do all the story quests and things but again, im so b u s y. still farming for arataki itto, pls come home)

bloons td6 (i've somehow racked up 60 hours on this game...its so fun...i love it...)

lastly, my october hyperfixation was...

horror movies and true crime!! i watched over 100 hours of movies, video essays, podcasts, and documentaries relating to horror and true crime. i'm officially burnt out of it though, so i will be back next month to once again happily share my interests!! byeee

- jane ⋆｡° ✮

[jasntodds]

I'm new to your blog hiii 😊 This is cuz of your music fic post, this is not me requesting I just simply must gush about this because I love music and there are some musicians imo that just hit so right with Jason (*cough* Matt Maeson)

Anyways here's some songs that I think have serious tremors of Jason Todd running through them 🎵 ❤

🎵Halestorm: Back from the Dead (this one is self explanatory lol)

🎵The Pretty Reckless: Got so High/ Standing at the Wall (side note~their latest album Death By Rock N Roll is so good and so sad)

🎵Eminem: Drug Ballad/ Never Love Again (don't worry these are milder Em lyrics cuz we all know some of his word choices are vomit inducing but these are basically simultaneously love songs to the drugs but also a cautionary tale against them)

🎵Avril Lavigne: Fall to Pieces/ Nobody's Home (I just think they fit for Jason esp nobody's home)

🎵 Matt Maeson: Dancing After Death/ The Hearse/ Tread on Me/ Go Easy/ Cringe/ Me and My Friends Are Lonely/ Mr. Rattlebone/ Grave Digger

(I motherfucking love this man's music 😢💘 lyrically mostly everything describes Jason. I LOVE the line in Me and My Friends Are Lonely "The city breathes when I do not" > that is so Gotham and Jason and Gotham and Robin and Gotham and Redhood. In Mr. Rattlebone the lyrics "I am the driver. I am the shadow. I am the hearse" welp 😢🙃 The opening of Grave Digger oh my days "I can't run to you Father, I need love". Anyway I'm gonna shush now because I am getting carried away lol but hope you don't me spaming you with all this

Hey!! Uh, I love this???? lmao I love hearing songs that relate to my favorite characters!! I definitely made a playlist here with all of these songs and I'm gonna add to it for songs that just scream Jason dkfhgdf I will be 100% listening to all of these and I actually really enjoy Matt Maeson's voice so that's so perfect??????

I'm so sorry but this is me reading "The city breathes when I do not."

Look, ANYTHING relating to daddy issues screams Jason to me and I nearly lose my fucking mind every single time. It reminds me of that one quote that's like "Growing up and seeing your parents' flaws is like losing your religion. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in my father either." This will be the first song I listen to omg

You can always come and ramble to me about music and/or Jason I love all types of music and I love Jason so I am always here lmao

And since you gave me some awesome recs, I'm gonna give you a few fkghfd:

Left Behind by The Plot In You. Look, it is one of my FAVORITE songs (is it my most played of the year?? Probably lmao it's in my top most played of all time and it came out in Feb lmao and I know I clocked over 60k minutes of music this year). But, when I listen to it, I relate it to Jason and Bruce's dynamic with lines like "Just know, all the sacrifice had robbed me of my time" and "I left behind, everything you killed inside" Landon screaming the lyrics makes me wanna CRY you can hear the pain in his voice and that's just very Jason Todd to me lmao

Deep End by I Prevail. It's such a good song?????? (I used in a fanedit and they liked it on TikTok) but my mom knows every word because she has to deal with me and brother playing it lmao but the WHOLE chorus is super Jason coded "So I made friends with all my demons. Let 'em sink their teeth in. Got used to the feeling of letting it go. So give me something to believe in or throw me in the deep end. It all feels the same with your eyes closed. So you can throw me in the deep end."

And Hollow - Lo's Version by Lo Spirit. I found him on TikTok (I swear I am not on that often??) and he's an INCREDIBLE vocalist. But this song is his best imo (followed by Good Enough and Wild Things (my beloved)) but this song is perfect for Jason. I mean, in Titans, he literally says there's a poison in him. It's perfect!! "Maybe somethings wrong with me. Maybe I was meant to sit and wait." and "Why do I, why do I feel so hollow? Hollow, hollow. Try to hide from my mind, but it follows."

[emeritus-fuckers]

Ayyyy congrats on the 1k followers! 🍾 I’m going to join in on the Ministry Role if that’s alright (:

1. Would you say you're more likely to be a Sibling of Sin or a Ghoul? Why

Both? Sibling for not feeling like a person at times. And Ghoul simply for the fact I feel like a creechure but not all the time. It’s a little hard to explain with words.

2. Which Papa would you prefer to work with? Why? (Sister Imperator is included)

Primo or Copia. They both have a more laidback vibe that would save me from keeling over with terrible social anxiety lol. And both would be great to talk to if they ever wanted to speak with me. I like listening to people and their stories.

Maybe Nihil as well if he ever needed assistance. Im mostly open to whoever needs the help the most.

3. Are you an introvert, ambivert or an extrovert? Tell us a little more about it.

Extremely introverted. A few hours of being around more than two people is overwhelming and requires rest else overstimulation becomes physically painful.

4. What chore do you like the most/hate the least?

I like doing things with my hands. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, even pulling weeds from a garden helps put my mind at ease.

I don’t like doing dishes as much. The textures can make me cry lol.

5. Do you like to travel, or maybe you prefer to stay at home?

I’m in between. I love traveling and seeing new places. Especially restaurants and museums! And I love staying put to keep the same repeat patterns.

6. Freebie. You've got five sentences to tell us anything you want about you

I have several hobbies that I always shift between sketching, writing, reading, sewing, growing plants and even making bracelets to give out as gifts. I am spending a lot of time sketching up designs and creating new projects. Music is a huge part of my daily life and I often listen to help me calm down and stim. I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and autism at a very early age and do struggle a lot with social interactions and need frequent breaks.

This post is part of the 1000 followers whats my role in the ministry event. Entries (asks) for the event close on 23rd October

Your role in the ministry is… Assistant gardener to Papa Emeritus I

Primo always allocates you a part of the garden that he knows is out of the way of most people. This means you get to work in peace.

He will come and join you though. He enjoys your company a lot so you often go for a tea break together.

He’ll also happily tell you stories while you work.

You can listen to music as much as you want when you work.

Primo is very laid back you can take as many breaks as you need whenever you need. All he cares about is that you feel happy and comfortable.

You made him a bracelet taking inspiration from his favourite plants in the gardens. You used colours of their leaves and flowers and have it to him. He was so touched by the gift, he wears it all the time now and he gave you a big hug.

The Ghouls who work in the garden love your bracelets they took to following you around from a distance (making you tea bringing anything you needed to you). Primo had to explain it was their way of asking if you’d make them bracelets. Which you did. The Ghouls loved you anyway but now they totally adore you.

Primo has told you that you can write and sketch in the garden whenever you like. He and the Ghoul’s decided to move a garden bench to a more secluded part of the garden so you can sit there whenever you want. Whenever you decide to sit there the Ghouls seem to know in advance and you always find blankets and cushions laid out for.

~

Written by Nyx

[bonesandthebees]

THE SONG U SUGGESTED IS SO INTNESSEFFGW OGKYGOD IM SO SCAREDDD

PHYTHIA WANNABEE OH FUCKFHALDHDPDJFLKSLRNFKNSD

OHMYFUCKINGGODDD

THATS WHERE U PUT MR BEASTSJFKFKLGLGKSKSFLGG

IM CRYIGNKDJSKG BEEEEE

I started reading it thinking "wow what a deep commentary about the glass society and in turn ours-" before realizing it was mr beast 😭

This song DOES fit so well damn wtf

You know, I think it's interesting that rn the pov is The Pythia rather than Wilbur, even tho he's running away from well "being" the Pythia

There's smth to be said here if i were a much smarter person... lmao

Maybe the pressure of everything and being faced with his old name makes him revert back to it

Also I just had to run to catch the bus, 10/10 running music, made me run faster i think LMAO

Oh no

THE LUNGS

OH NO

IS THAT WHAT YHE VISION WAS ABOUT?!?!?! OHMYGOD NOOOO

THE MSUCIDS GETITNG MORE ITNENSE THIS FITS TOO WELL

IS

IS TOMMY GOING TO SUGGEST

IS TOMMY GOING TO SUGGEST HE TAJES HIS BLINFOLD OFF HOLYSHTI OHMGYDO WHAYRJGUVK ISHFPEURKF

IM GONANA SCREAMMMSHFLDKF I CANT DO THIS IM ON A PUBLIC BUS OHFNUCMGNFIFJGOKDR

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OHMUGUPD

THIS IS DEF ONE OF MY FAV CHAPTERS OHKYGOD THIS IS SO GOOD BEE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OHMYFUCIJGIGOGOD I CANT DO THSI INCANT DO THIS

Im going to be sick. Im going to be sick IM GOINY-

BEE.

HOLFYCUKHIGODIDKPAOEFODPIDFOJFLDHFOFHSOFBDKFBDOFBFKGKFLF

THIS WAS NOY HOW I EXPECTED THE FIRST EYE CONTACR IN YEARS TO GO NOOO PHFJJGUDOS OHKYGOD I CANT I CANT IM GOING TO DIE OHMYGOS I AM GOIGN TO GET A HEART ATATCK AN DPERISH OHMGOD

HES WILBUR AGAIN

WHO THE FU--

OHMYGOD

THEYRE BACK ALREADY?@?$,%*=[*=%

God i can imagien how fucking smug u wrre writing this chaptehrffojgkgjfydofus

I LOVE HIM

THEY MADE IT BACK?!?! NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TBH BUT I'LL TAKE, ILL FUCKING TAKE IT OHMYGOD

U DIDNT KILL HIM WILBUR ISTG ITS OKAY OUT OF EVERYONE FOR U TO LOOK IN YHE EYE HE WAS RHE 2ND BEST

I say 2nd best bc phil is pretty much dating death so- DHFKD

Im goingnto cry

THE UNDERWORLD

HES STILL WILBUR

I dont even know how i wanna react, idk if i wanna keysmash, scream, swear, or cry ohmygod

:( ive been waiting for this moment but also FUCKKK tbis is painful im gonna cry on this bus i can feel it sgfjfnf

I love tommy so much ohjygod

Glass tommy mvp :( i lvoe him hes so sweet:(*

And now during this emotional conversation i switch songs

Embarrassingly enough by boyscott is such a good song to listen to while reading emotional scenes in fics

FUCKK I DIDNT FINISH BEFORE CLASS oh well time to read in class amen, im almost done anyway

OOOHBH GOD THIS MIGUTVE BEEN A MISTAKE I WANNA CRY AT THEIR HUG OHHHHMJGODJDJFJDKD

Ohmygod

Tommy:(

Ohmygor

Ohmgydo

I am not okay

I am not okay

Ooooooohhhh my gosh:((((((

WHERE'S THEIR DAD, WHERE'S PHIL, HE'LL KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS, SURELY

Ooohmygod

ITS NOT THEIR FAULT!!!

Though, them not telling phil and tech about the vision is, but i dont think it would've changed anything ooohmygoodness my heart hurts:(

Bee blz how could u

(This was a fucking amazing chapter though holyshit, this is gonna be one of those scenes i reread over and over again ohmygoddd)

very glad you guys are all liking the song. it's such intense chase scene vibes and I think the electronic beats really makes it perfect for the glass universe. there was another song from the same movie soundtrack I debated listening to but then I tried to write to it and was like hmm no container park is a better track instead

well the mr beast moment is supposed to be an example of the dystopian capitalist hellscape that exists in the glass universe, and dystopian settings are meant to be exaggerated versions of the society we currently live in to point out the flaws so yeah it is commentary lol. I have a lot of feelings regarding mr beast and the contrast between the philanthropic work he does while simultaneously exploiting people's financial struggles for entertainment but that's a discussion for another day

LMAO not listening to the song while running to the bus 😭

I am so sorry for your heart rate very glad it invoked the right emotions though :) I was very smug writing this entire chapter

phil is out having a business meeting he'll get to deal with this mess in the morning

I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed!! I struggled a lot writing this bc I hate writing action scenes as you know, so I kept second guessing if the pace was good or not the entire damn time but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out in the end

[septembersghost]

when you said people who say weird shit maybe haven't experienced the devastating friendship betrayal, I also wonder if maybe they haven't had the intensely toxic straight girl bffs situation. I am straight and I can't understand queer experiences obviously, but I do know the toxic straight girl bond and it can be straight up crazytown. Wanting to do everything together, thinking she's the coolest person ever while people around you go, "uhhhh, is she, though?," having a weird intense bond, then massively horrendously falling out and it's so bad you feel like you'll die as much as you do from any breakup. That's such basic teen/early twenties stuff, and that's what happened with T&K, only she also betrayed her not only in a personally horrible way but in a professional one too. idk how you can listen to, "guilty guilty reaching out the sea you put between you and me, but it's fake and oh so unnecessary," and "the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not in fact what she seemed, not a twin from your dreams, she's a crook who was caught," and not get it. Unless you haven't known that pain!

that's exactly what i mean, yes, because i have also been there - i've had a couple of massively painful, devastating friendship betrayals, the longest one and the one i reference more often was with a guy, but i had a similar dynamic with a girl too. she was straight as a board and there was nothing else going on there, but we clicked immediately and spent every moment outside of class together, we shared all our similar interests, we sang together, we daydreamed about future college life together, and we had this strange, toxic codependent dynamic that of course i deluded myself into thinking was special and normal and fine until it imploded. we were mirroring each other in mannerisms and speech patterns, matching colors, equating ourselves to glinda and elphie (lol that should've been the telltale sign of doom right there, and ironically it was a boy she was obsessed with and who she convinced herself was gravitating towards me and that i was trying to "steal" that destroyed our relationship with her paranoia and her demand that he and i couldn't be/were not "allowed" to be friends. ultimately he wanted to be close to me because he was worried about my health, and also he was gay. so! good for him! we stayed in touch for a while, he's a lovely man. she married the first guy she met after all this. anyway!). this is the very abridged version, but it was a huge mess, much crying and fighting and angry phone calls and cold shoulders resulted, then i found out she was jealous and competitive with me behind my back, and she ousted me from the whole group. and i referred to her as the sister i never had. oops. girl friendships, especially in those age ranges, can be intense and formative and unhinged, and losing them feels crushing. heartbreak over friendship loss is deeply acute and tangible for me in taylor's music, even the songs that she wrote as romantic. i totally get what you mean.

[notebookmusical]

Aww okay. It was mostly me replying about stuff that you said about the shows you saw still which was in the first ask and sharing some thoughts. Maybe I will try to sum up some of it later again but I just appreciate you sharing about the shows and your experiences. I also mentioned that I agree with your thoughts about theater etiquette and new updated versions of shows. I think this version of Gypsy is doing that by casting mostly POC. I also saw your post about Kevin Csolack being in the show and going from Tulsa to (playing) Tulsa. The whole cast also made that joke lol. Honestly I only know him from the West side movie but I'm happy he is going to be in something else since his role in Outsiders was only temporary. I'm glad you're going to be reading it soon and would be curious what you think of the adaptations. I also wanted to say that I was so sad to hear about Gavin Creel. I was lucky enough to see him in Into the Woods which is so crazy and unbelievable to think about. Oddly the week before I was singing What Do I Need With Love from Millie, which I never sing. The thing that made me cry was watching him sing Put on your Sunday Clothes and it only takes a moment from Hello Dolly. I also loved him in She Loves Me and Waitress. I had a nice time watching Old videos and performances in his memory. I'm glad they decided to dim all the lights. 🩷 Ken Page who played Old Deuteronomy from CATS and Oogie Boogie from Nightmare before Christmas also passed away. Anyway I tried to sum it up and I might add more later but that was pretty much it. But I'll reply with a Part 2 later!

helloooo friend i'm so sorry this is so late :( i don't know if i told you this but i have tendinitis 😵‍💫 so am trying not to be on my computer too much aside from for work etc! but please know i always see your messages and smile when they come in!

i actually know kevin from mean girls! and speaking of outsiders... i have been in the biggest reading slump as of late, but i think i'm going to try to read the outsiders before the year is over and then also watch the movie and then listen to the musical? we'll see if that actually happens! i did finally finish rebecca (LOVED it), and am technically in the middle of two books but have not actually done anything with either book in a hot minute. so we'll see how that goes! my wrists hurt really bad & i'm supposed to have my wrists in braces for 8-12 hours a day so i've honestly been going to bed at 9pm since it's really annoying to type with the braces on 😭 deeply terrible. don't get tendinitis 🫡

gavin's loss is just so ... sudden and heartwrenching and it feels like this huge pillar in our community is just gone and i didn't even know him and i wasn't like his number one fan or anything but it was just still so heartbreaking. i rewatched she loves me recently and had a good cry. and i'm glad i watched that before that terrible awful zachary levi video came out. i hate that man. i also saw that ken page passed away :( broadway community has been hit hard lately :(

will reply to your other messages shortly! love you 🤍