#anyway…..hope ur all good and well ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[ahappyphjl]

hi everyone, i’m still an emotional mess from last weekend and i also started a new job, so my energy levels are zero. once dnp upload im gonna be back making gifs and screaming with u all, but fyi i might just sleep and work this week to survive lol

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[moyazaika]

My birthday was on the 25th of July, but due to certain circumstances we couldn’t have a celebration with my family (both sides of my family). I had a small celebration with some family on my actual birthday and it was really nice, but we will be having another celebration on the 3rd of August, this time with both sides of my family and also with some family friends. It’ll be Spider-Man themed because I’m a sucker for him. I had wanted to do a “dress inspired by a marvel character” but I don’t think it’ll happen. I’ll save you a plate of cake and also some of the food served. A family friend will be cooking and he’s amazing.

Know for a fact that the moment some sort of lore of Red is dropped, I’ll be the happiest person on the planet. I’ll defend their actions with everything I’ve got, they’re my beloved and they have a special place in my heart. I just wanna get inside their head (and Valentine’s too) and just,,, learn. I kinda feel like the pathetic yan, maybe that’s why I like him so much. But,,, I just need to understand them. Or maybe just to learn more and more and slowly piece together all the information given. I love your characters, they’re probably the first ones who have me like this.

So, while I was reading the part about the scene bitches I actually snorted and almost choked on my drink. The same thing happened while rereading an ask an anon sent that said “It’s always 2 dumb bitches telling each other exactlyyy”. I’ll keep them in the small folder I have of things that make me laugh. There’s many amazing anons here and even if they may not know me, I love all of them.

My middle school self felt attacked by the “he would totally make a powerpoint presentation and it definitely has those stupid fucking star transitions that are so slow they take 3 entire seconds to get to the next slide.” I felt so cool adding transitions and animations and even those clapping sounds in the end, now I see why some classmates thought I was weird /j😭 Twinning with pathetic yan

My main language is considered a romantic language (Spanish), so I can’t really say much regarding the preference Europeans have for themselves. Latin Americans winning once again- Still, I love languages, I love learning, and so far I’ve seen so many amazing phrases and words that have me just frozen in place having to understand just how beautiful a word or a phrase can be. Languages can be such a beauty, I’m hopelessly devoted to them. Something I wanted to share: There’s this word in Nahuatl (native language in Mexico) which is “apapacho” that could be translated in English to cuddle. It means “to caress with the soul”. It’s one of my favorite words. And there’s also this phrase in Nahuatl which is “Mitztemoa noyollo” which could be translated to “My heart looks for you”, which as far as I’m aware could be used to say you miss someone.

I feel like I write too much, end acting like some sort of overexcited puppy. I just get too happy, can’t help it. I’m jumping from one topic to the other 😭 anyways, hope you have an amazing week, you deserve it. Remember to drink water, eat well, and all the stuff you’re supposed to know. Keep the hard work but remember to rest when you need it! And even sometimes when you don’t feel like you need it but you’re supposed to. You deserve nice things, hope life treats you very well. Also, been thinking about drawing once again but I don’t really know what to draw, so please do share some ideas or stuff.

- With love, ❤️‍🩹 anon.

BRO I /COMPLETELY/ MISSED THIS ASK HEART NONNIE BELOVED HELLO <333 always loveeeee hearing from uuuu 💗💗💗

i hope ur bday was the loveliest so far!! as well as your actual celebration. would have been a week since then, but nevertheless i hope u enjoyed yourself!! spider man themed oh yEAHH i remember we gushed over the spider verse movies around the time the second one was popular good times haha when the internet was obsessed with o’hara fuck i need that man carnally 😂🙏🏼

know that every time you mention my oc’s in an ask you send i am in love with the way u talk about them. it just feels so introspective and i can tell u put thought into what u say and it flatters me greatly bshshuhshushjsj

I REMEMBEE THE CLAPPING SOUNDS HAHSU back in the days we used to use microsoft powerpoint now everyone just wants to use google slides damn 💔💔 but the dissolve transition.. the star one… they will Never lose their charm that shit was fire

languages are so lovely!! ive always wanted to learn spanish purely bc i hear it’s relatively easy for english speakers apparently, but it sounds so different to anything i speak and conjugations and grammar rules fuck me up and i’m scared 😭😭

my heart. my heart What. my heart. MY HEART LOOKS FOR YOU. IM FLOORED GAGGED THATS SO GORGEOUS OH MY GOD. bro. bro don’t even i’m like 2 seconds away from downloading duolingo i need this in my daily vocab ❤️❤️😭😭😭 oh that’s actually so beautiful; LOTE expressions of love my beloved <3 it reminds me of farsi’s jiggaram which is like,,, technically my liver,,, but comes off more as a term of endearment for people reeeealllllyy dear to the speaker and the connotations when speakers use it to mean like,, a part of myself i can’t be without,,, T_T I LOVE LANGUAGES THEYRE SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

hmmmmmmmmmm i’m super indecisive so the worst person to ask for conclusive ideas or advice but maybe try drawing some marvel character? i know you like the mcu, so that might be fun!!!

[lovelylotusf1]

hiya ❤️ noticed u said ur away from tumblr for a while so i hope u don’t mind me sending this in. i also hope everything in your life gets back on track as much as it can and that you feel better ❤️‍🩹 i stumbled across sweet kitten today and omg it’s a masterpiece… i’m obsessed. i love how clear it is that charles cares about max and understands how he can’t necessarily say some things or when to coax him through it (a little meanly) bc you’ve created a world where they’re so obviously in love 😭

‘Charles is here and he will wait for however long it takes until Max is able to gather his thoughts’ is such a lovely line that really shows this and also makes the whole thing so much hotter because they trust each other so much. charles going through the names (hitting good boy as well) and then immediately recalibrating when he figures it out was sooooo !!

and then charles being that little bit mean while max is so desperate for it really truly made the whole fic like i just adore the dynamic and whiny bottom max and u have done it so brilliantly. “But don’t you think good kittens should say please?” was absolutely LETHAL once charles had established the correct boundary. and i think “Poor little kitty. You can't just meow and expect me to understand” truly cemented this as a fic of All Time for me.

sorry for literally quoting ur own fic back at u i just really need to impress upon you the way this has rewired my brain omg. ‘Charles smiles at him, the one where his dimples show, distracting from his brilliantly sharp teeth that are trying to sink into any weak spot he finds’ is SUCH a line and really shows how poor max got lulled into his false sense of security. “Then I will stay like this until you remember your manners. Bad boys need to do the work themselves” like life changing for max and i both clearly. “Oh, have I messed you up a bit too much?” totally sealed the deal. charles u know exactly what ur doing working poor max up and then making him pay for it.

the conversation at the end was also so lovely and honest and slice of life before max got banished to the shower… u can so tell how in enamoured they are with each other. i too like it when charles is mean to u max sorry to say. anyways so sorry for coming into ur ask box and ranting like this, just needed u to know how brilliant i think your writing, dialogue and characterisations are and to let u know that i will be the second chapter’s biggest fan!!!

Anon, I don't know what to say. This is probably my favourite message/comment I've ever gotten🥹 In fact, as soon as I have access to a printer, I will probably print this out and glue it into my notebook so I can re-read this over and over again.

Coming back to this after my short break is incredible, I'm literally shaking while trying to stop myself from crying.

I'm so glad you liked the fic! Sweet Kitten has become so special to me after hearing how much joy it gives people. Very happy that the love between Max and Charles comes across, because my main focus truly was trying to convey how well they know and trust each other! Hitting the balance between Charles being mean, but also showing how much he loves Max was truly a process that needed lots of editing and rewriting. Because smut is, above all, a character study for me, I am overjoyed when I hear that people liked the characterization :D

In hindsight, I'm sorry for saying chapter 2 will be out in a month because it has been over 2 and it's still not finished lmao. But it will be out! One day! The whole fic is currently sitting at 13k words, and if fic!Charles complies, it won't drag on for much longer.

Don't ever say sorry for coming into my askbox and "quoting my fic back at me", I love hearing people's thoughts and I loved every word of this!!!💗

[mangoisms]

WAITTT, I just saw ur reply to my previous comment. I didn't like Tim too (lmao). The debates between Tim and Damian fans can (and do) get so annoying that I just started disliking his character (not the greatest). Reading Red Robin on a whim was when I started to warm up to his character, he was just some weird dude. The sentiment about him being a chew toy...so real, and perfectly captures how I feel about him. He is so cringe-fail to me.

To touch upon Red Robin relationships...I wish I could peek into the writers' brains and conduct experiments to begin to understand what they were trying to accomplish...Tam, then Lynx II? Rekindling moments with Steph, and I always forget the last girl's name... I just never understood why they thought giving him so many love interests was necessary for the plot (he is quite literally spiraling, absolute rock bottom, can not go any lower, and yet forced so many women into his life; were they expecting me not to feel bad for them?). On top of that whole mess, the last few issues were like a fever dream, I can not properly summarize them for the life of me if asked.

On a side note, Circle K has also inspired me to pick back up my reading on Steph. I started in the summer, and the summer session (I completely forgot I signed up for classes?) completely ruined that for me...

Very random but, what are your thoughts on WFA? Everyone on Twitter is fairly convinced it's absolute garbage. I never read it myself, but I see complaints about characterization all the time. It also seems to be a lot of people's introduction to Batman-associated characters and content, so I can understand why people are upset if it truly is inconsistent with canon writing.

Young Justice anon (as always, hope you're doing fine and that school is manageable and well!!)

it’s so interesting that red robin 2009 is what softened you up to him because that run still remains a sour point for me HAHA like he is compelling but he is sooo annoying </3 getting into his origins in a lonely place of dying and then robin 1993 was what slowly got me, though he still actively annoyed me for a lot of it… it’s Weird i know i like him in a silly weird way where he annoys me but. yeah. he is my chew toy ❤️‍🩹

oh absolutely it makes NO sense that he had so many love interests and. Ok rant incoming let me also put this under the cut because this got LONG

the thing that bothers me is that none of it was EVER addressed. for sure it was a questionable decision on the writers’ part but none of them had the thought to maybe address the fact that he was flip-flopping so badly? i consider tam to be the strongest out of all of them (as in the one with the most chances to have been with him) and even tim acknowledges that at some points and YET. he kept having those weird moments with lynx. like obviously he and tam weren’t necessarily in a relationship but There Was Something There and of course while tam remains ‘loyal’ to him, tim just gets to mess around with other people… and then when he needs something he relies on tam’s affection to help him out… and then of course the way their falling out was set up was sooooo obvious and i don’t think certain plot decisions are necessarily Bad when they’re obvious but they were clearly gunning for the usual ‘superhero withholds important information from the civilian love interest and they break up’ and i just feel like There were so many OTHER things they could’ve had a falling out over 😭😭😭😭 like Come on…

okay that got longer than i wanted sorry for the impromptu rant 😭😭😭😭 i just. argh. most of my grievances with it is the treatment of the female characters LOL but it’s honestly par the course for tim, he has a long string of love interests and those relationships have been. interesting. quality aside my favorites are probably tam and ariana, if only because they had So Much Potential. anyway!!!!

STEPHANIE MY BELOVED <3333 once you find the time (and i hope you do so you can rest! good luck with your classes <3) i would HIGHLY recommend batgirl vol 3, it’s her batgirl run and it makes up for all the shit that went on in war games (which i didn’t actually read, well i did read some of it, mostly steph’s parts, which i wouldn’t recommend because it is… heartwrenching) and it’s just SOOOOO good i have SOOO many thoughts on it. one of my favorite runs i’ve ever read!!!

umm i’m kind of in the middle on wfa. i read it when it initially came out and it was pretty neat! i liked the art for one. but i’ve stopped keeping up since then. as an elseworlds comic with no bearing on current canon, it can be fun! and it has some things i would like in canon (like them keeping babs as oracle, when current canon refuses to do so), but thats hmmm probably it? and honestly it’s not totally my taste, if only because characterization can be a bit iffy (there was one moment with jason early on that kind of turned me off a bit because. i’m sorry. He would not say that. but in fairness to wfa we have a lot of that going on around now in current comics! wrt him, dick, tim, etc) and well. i like drama HAHA. i have also seen that it is the ‘easy way’ to get into the bats and yeah, there’s nothing wrong exactly with that being someone’s introduction, but it should be kept in mind that it’s not canon and things aren’t like that at all in current canon at all! but yeah not everyone does that and it does admittedly get kind of annoying 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

it is kind of funny in that initially wfa wasn’t a true representation of the ‘batfam’ (at the time it was coming out. i think anyway) and more of an ideal glossy one that, well, ignores a lot to get it to that point. but now we seem to be having that go on in current comics, at least with their attempts to try and absolve bruce of his abuse (which i think they are doing in a dumb way that does absolve him of responsibility and agency and thus makes it. well. redundant. because he isn’t owning up to it and it ignores years of him doing it) so it is kind of. equally bad. except that wfa is elseworlds so it honesty can get away with it but uhhh. current comics don’t have an excuse and that’s. well. Hngh. kind of creates double the bad effect but ANYWHO!!!!!!

SO. YEAH. those are my thoughts. many thoughts. so sorry about that i just got carried away 😭 anyway!! good luck with your classes!!! thank you sm i am doing better too ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 i hope you’re doing well, take care of yourself!!!!

(also i am gonna go ahead and make a tag for you ^_^ under yj anon … if u have any emoji preferences lmk i was trying to think of something yj-relevant but not sure…)

[masterwords]

Hi Angela!! I loved the “id do it for you” and “look at that, you’re blushing,” that you wrote after my request, I just wanted to thank u sm because i loved it so MUCH AND I LOVE PEACHES SMMM. 

I was hoping you could do 3 “if you arent going to help yourself, i will,” and 4 “you look pale…” with Hotch being a stubborn bastard and refusing to do something for his convenience for the sake of bureaucracy or some stubborn useless reason - this could be sometime pre show (Haley won’t exist, I’m sorry) and Morgan would visibly see him wearing himself thin instead of taking it easy like the doctors said. 

With that being said, feel free disregard the paragraph above, as long as ur the one writing it I’ll eat it up at this point I just love everything u write sm 😭😭

-❤️‍🩹

OKAY, first of all? Thank you so much for all of your intensely kind words. I'm glad you liked that story! (And yeah, peaches are THE JAM. It was a love story for peaches, really.) And now for my groveling...I'm so sorry this took me so damn long to do. I wrote 3 different stories for this that just turned out like garbage, and I couldn't post them. And this has been sitting here so long, I feel awful. I hope that this story I finally landed on is good! (Probably not good enough for as long as I took to write it...did I say I'm sorry? I'm so sorry.)

2.8k words | Hotch/Morgan

**

“Your turn,” Hotch said, shifting the weight on his hip against the hard plastic chair. This is their second airport terminal in one day, and the layover just went from one hour to three. Outside the snow was just beginning to fall and he suspected they'd be put up in a nearby hotel for the night before long. The sky was painted an ominous blue gray and getting darker by the minute. Morgan sighed.

“I don't wanna play anymore. Nothing new to see. Know any other games?”

Hotch yawned and let his eyes drift shut. “I've heard napping is a fun game.” Morgan's laughter was subdued and tired, but he nodded in agreement. A nap did sound nice.

“Want me to keep watch? We can take turns.” Like they were two warriors on a quest, not two marooned FBI Agents in some podunk airport in the midwestern USA.

“Just give me fifteen minutes...” Hotch drawled and was asleep before Morgan even thought about replying. He'd been sort of off all day, Morgan thought, a few steps behind his usual snap. Probably just that they'd been on the road for two weeks now and every airport was starting to look the same, let alone every rented sedan with a trunk waiting for their bags and a long drive ahead of them. Sleeping in their own beds was beginning to sound like an actual luxury instead of just a desire.

Morgan read a book. Tried to, anyway. But his eyes were blurry and unfocused often enough that he wasn't getting much out of it, each time he turned the page he realized he'd only taken in about half of the words...if that. Hotch shifted on the row of chairs beside him and let out a soft snorting sound followed by a deep yawn but he never actually woke up. Morgan let him go longer than 15 minutes...he seemed like he needed it.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Morgan whispered well over an hour later, running his finger along the rim of Hotch's ear. He'd sort of lost himself in a daze watching the snow flurry outside of the windows, it was mesmerizing. Completely lost track of time and space. “We got ourselves a hotel voucher for the night. Let's go get some real shut eye, huh?”

It took them two days of delayed and canceled flights to make it to Idaho, where they would decide it was more worthwhile to rent an SUV and try to drive through the Pacific Northwest and its snowstorms than try to catch more flights between metro areas. They could drive through Washington and most of Oregon without trouble, stay in roadside motels, and be in California in a matter of days. A few dodgy mountain passes stood in their way, some road delays and scary slippery moments would make for good stories to tell Gideon when they returned but ultimately, it became a sort of adventure.

Until Hotch got sick in San Fransisco. Morgan noticed the first signs while they wandered along with all of the old folks on the cell block tour of Alcatraz. It was one of their very few days off, and of all things they could do during a two week trip across the country to conduct custodial interviews with talkative serial killers was tour a famous prison. Hotch rolled his eyes, but Morgan whined.

“You're only against it because you've already done it...” he lobbied, and Hotch had no argument after the obvious.

“Haven't we been inside enough prisons? This is the only day we have without a prison visit for the next six days...”

“One more won't hurt.” He said that in his best Sean Connery accent, and Hotch cringed at the attempt. Anyone who would humiliate themselves like that deserved a pass, so he bought them two tickets and they got on the ferry. That was when Morgan noticed him clearing his throat more than usual and massaging just beneath his jaw when he thought no one was looking.

Hotch cleared his throat as they stepped onto the island and winced at the sharp pain. “Did you want to see this place because of its value historically or because of the movie?” Morgan only smiled and shrugged. That was answer enough. Hotch didn't complain the rest of the day, he did his best to enjoy the tour through the look of bliss on Morgan's face.

In the hotel room that night, Morgan noticed Hotch behaving a little off. He'd thought about the airport terminal, and he'd bounced back from that after a good night's sleep. He was a little off while they were at Alcatraz but he couldn't have really said how off, he was a little distracted.

Still, he wasn't too bad, so they ordered room service with their combined per diem and fell asleep full and content after watching “The Rock”. Morgan was pleased as punch.

Hotch woke in the morning with a fever. He knew he was sick right away. His eyes felt crusty and wet, his skin hot and his throat had pinpricks like tiny bonfires that he knew would spread rapidly. He winced as he swallowed the lukewarm water on his nightstand.

“You look pale,” Morgan said, stepping out of the shower just after he'd managed to pull himself upright. It had taken far longer than he'd anticipated and came with a lightheaded feeling he didn't care for. Hotch frowned and searched his foggy head for an appropriate response. He was sluggish, though, and the delay was obvious to Morgan.

“I'm always pale.” He avoided the question, and Morgan couldn't help but respect his tenacity even if it was frustrating. He wasn't going to let him have it, though.

“Yeah, true, but more than usual...are you sick? Should I take you to Urgent Care? You gonna pass out on me or something?”

“No.”

It was colder than intended, and Derek read it loud and clear. He'd press again in a bit but Hotch was figuring it out for himself right now and he could respect that.

“I'm sorry,” Hotch muttered, resting his cheek against the cool wood of the headboard. “I don't know if I'm sick or just...”

“Worn out? Stressed? Yeah, this travel shit is rough. But you look pretty bad.”

In the end, he decided he didn't have time to be sick, so he allowed Morgan to talk him into the Urgent Care. Just a precaution, if it was something serious they could catch it right away, and if not...well at least they knew. They could medicate it with DayQuil or AlkaSeltzer or something and he'd just have to walk through it.

But it was never that simple.

He had strep throat. He wasn't willing to miss their custodial interview, though, so he spent the day preparing in the hotel room while Morgan explored the city with what little free time they had. Hotch reasoned that Morgan should spend as little time with him in close quarters as possible so long as he wasn't showing symptoms and while that sounded absolutely absurd, he knew better than to argue with Hotch when he was sick. He was more like a porcupine than a puppy. When they showed up for the interview, Hotch could barely talk but he was still unwilling to let Morgan do it alone.

“Stay in the car.”

“No.” Hotch's voice barely worked but that word came out loud and clear.

“You think I can't talk to an inmate?”

“No,” Hotch whispered this time, even though he'd been told not to. No whispering, talk at full volume or not at all. Whispering felt better and he never had been good at following directions. “You're good at interrogation but this isn't an interrogation...we have to gain their trust and make them want to talk. They're not confessing, they've been sentenced, they're giving us a gift.”

“A gift!” Morgan scoffed but Hotch narrowed his eyes and nodded.

“A gift. They don't have to talk to us. They're essentially teaching us how to catch them...”

They left their credentials and their firearms with the guard and walked in, Hotch letting Morgan lead the way. This was technically his interview today, Hotch's intention had been to take the backseat and just observe. Like a trial run, one of many. He couldn't count how many of these he gave with Gideon or Rossi sitting behind him watching his every move. He'd been so nervous at first, but once he got over that on-stage feeling it became natural.

Except he was on enough cold meds to kill a horse just to stay upright and it didn't help. He was nearly asleep sitting up.

“Am I boring you, Agent?” Hopper, the inmate, asked with a sneer. Morgan glanced at Hotch who jerked himself upright quickly and glared at the man in the prison blues. His arms were folded over his chest, eyes blinking slowly while he gathered his senses. Where he was, what he was doing, who he was talking to. His eyes flickered briefly, catching the tape recorder, and then Morgan's stunned features before he turned rather lackadaisically to Hopper. His sleepy eyes never changed.

“Yes,” he replied finally in his weak television static voice and Morgan couldn't help a little smile. “You're not a very compelling story teller and you're wasting our time.”

“Come a little closer and I'll show you how I tell stories...” Hopper growled, his meaty paws forming fists inside the cuffs on the table. Hotch didn't even flinch.

Instead, he stood, indicating for Morgan to do the same. “He's been lying to us for a half hour. I don't like having my time wasted. I don't feel very good and I'd rather be in bed.”

Hopper, the sudden realization of what he would lose if those two agents walked out the door, looked like he was choking on his tongue while he formulated a response.

Hotch continued in his flimsy painful whisper. “Whatever deal was made with you in return for the information you were willing to share is now void.”

“No, no wait! I'll tell you the truth! I swear!”

Hotch waved Morgan through the door now held open by a guard. Morgan couldn't believe Hotch ended the interview so abruptly, couldn't believe he'd picked up the guy lying even while he was sitting there with his eyes closed. Morgan had looked, thought Hotch really was asleep but he wasn't going to say anything. It all sounded so close to the file they had, so close to the trial transcripts he wasn't even sure where the lies were until later when he listened to the tape and made a comparison. The differences were stunning in their simplicity, and he wasn't sure if Hopper was lying on purpose or if he truly couldn't remember.

“How'd you know?”

Hotch shrugged, leaning his seat back in the car. He looked drained. Utterly miserable. “You get a sense for them after a while. Just like profiling a crime scene.” He couldn't explain it, except to say that it was why Morgan needed training time. It wasn't asking the questions, it was reading the answers. There were subtleties to these people, the way their minds worked.

“They lie a lot?” Morgan hadn't really given much thought to the motives of someone already in prison for life. Especially these guys who had already confessed to their crimes,they had no innocence to protect, they were just talking. Telling stories, like they were having biographies put in print. Hotch cleared his throat and frowned.

“Often. Depends on the deal they work out with the FBI to get us out there. Sometimes they just can't help themselves, the idea of having some kind of power over us is too enticing..” Hotch paused, letting out a wheezy cough into his elbow. “They like to feed us a line and see if we take it. If they can get us to publish their lies.”

“Fuck.”

Their schedule was packed, one after another. Each day was a presentation with a police station or two, followed by a custodial interview. Driving down the 101, motel sleeping, Hotch medicating himself beyond any reasonable amount just to stay upright and focused. It was really no wonder the travel had caught up to one of them.

“Let me do this one on my own,” Morgan said, sitting on the edge of the bed and yawning. It was only 3am, they still had hours before their wake up call, but it was time for another antibiotic dose and Hotch's fever wasn't showing any signs of improvement. That wasn't surprising since he hadn't rested one single time since finding out he had strep throat. It was almost like he was trying to outrun it. Out work it. Morgan handed him the pills, an antibiotic and two NyQuil with a glass of water.

“Derek,” he whined, glaring at the bright green medication even in the dark of the room. “I just want the Tylenol.”

“You're coughing instead of sleeping, man. Just take it. Otherwise we're both fucked tomorrow.”

Hotch considered it earnestly and finally let out a defeated sigh. “Fine. You'd better wake me up on time.”

“I can do it on my own, you should sleep. You're no good to us like this.”

“Wake me up.” He took the meds knowing that the NyQuil was going to knock him out and trusting that Morgan would wake him anyway. He might be a little tired during the interview but he'd be there, Morgan didn't need much more than that.

To no one's surprise, Hotch slept through the alarm and Morgan didn't bother to try and wake him. He finally looked peaceful and he wasn't going to bother him.

When Morgan returned triumphantly from the custodial, he found Hotch sitting upright on his bed looking furious. Pale, feverish, furious. Morgan thought he was pretty cute when he was sick and mad, with his sweaty hair matted to his forehead and the fever flush in his cheeks. Beside him, he had his phone, a bottle of water and a box of tissue.

“You said you'd wake me.”

“No, I never said I would.”

“We are a team, Derek. You don't have enough experience to do these interviews on your own, you're supposed to be training. Jason is going to have my head when he finds out you went in alone.”

“Man, you've been sick for three days. I've been doing them on my own the whole damn time. You practically slept through the one yesterday. That guy was pissed. If he hadn't been lying...Aaron, you got lucky.”

Hotch didn't have anything to say to that. It was true.

“If you won't help yourself, I will. That's all. I didn't mean to piss you off but you looked so damn miserable I just wanted you to sleep.”

Hotch had a litany of arguments he'd been muddling through about them being a team, but the look on Morgan's face was so apologetic that he couldn't. So he sulked instead. Just pulled out the big, pathetic watery eyes and Morgan almost fell into the bed with him to make that face go away. With some hot soup and the rest of the night listening to Morgan's interview (which, of course, was great) and watching movies, Morgan got his one wish. For Hotch to rest.

On their way to another custodial down the coast, Hotch wasn't feeling great but he was doing better. The fever had broken sometime over night, finally, and now he was left with a few days more of antibiotics and his throat on fire. Halfway to their destination, his pager went off. It was Gideon.

Morgan found a little diner and pulled over so Hotch could jump out and use the pay phone. They had a cell phone but they had no service out there overlooking the ocean on the highway.

“Jason, it's Hotch,” he said, forcing as much of his voice through his strained and painful vocal chords as he could muster. He would pay for it later.

“We have a bomber,” Gideon says gravely, taking no notice of Hotch's wobbly voice. “Get on the next plane to Boston. I need you both there immediately.”

Hotch returned to the vehicle with a shadow over his features, all the wind had been taken from his sails. Morgan leaned toward him, his arms folded over his chest and his hips resting against the hot hood of the SUV expectantly.

“What did mom say?”

“Looks like we're gonna have to stand up Bailey and Arlington, Gideon needs us in Boston.”

[milkyybuns]

hey dae! (a rhyme!) i’m sending a bunch of questions to people ~

1. what songs are you enjoying at the moment?

2. do you bite your ice cream or lick it? do you like ice cream?

3. what’s your favourite fic not written by you?

i hope you have a good dayyyyy!!!!!!! i love uuu !! 🥞❤️‍🩹

hellooo roi these are so cute thank you for sending them to me!! (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

(also completely unrelated but b4 i looked at your navi i used to pronounce ur url like the fish idk why but i was like huh she likes fish a lot💀💀 ...ANYWAY moving on)

I've moved the music Q last so I can hide some tunes under the cut.

2. I love love love ice cream like yall don't understand. There's a chain of fancy ice cream in my city and I know all their locations off by heart and i could talk about it for hours. my fav is hazelnut. I bite it but sometimes lick it too winkwonk

-

3. fuck fav fic thats so hard... two fics that will forever stay in my mind are:

<3 sfw: Favourite Muse (model!tengen x photographer!reader) by @alkhale The way they characterised Tengen makes me squeal + cry + die. Go check it out if you like flirty tenten hehe.

<3 nsfw: well I'd really hate to stroke her ego EVEN MORE but *siGhs* it's gotta be... the tengen Jealousy short series by @novaresque. I've read a lot of smut but i fink about this one - lot…

-

A couple songs I'm listening to rn:

[tteokdoroki]

HEY SHAWTY ITS BILLIE/KOUILLA 💪🏻💪🏻

anyway i came back to say I’m so proud of you for reaching 10k!!???????? YOU DESERVE IT YOURE A TALENTED GODDESS AND YOURE LIKE THE QUEEN OF FANFICS !!! I MISS YOU SM PLEASE HAVE SUCH A GOOD DAY AND I HOPE ALL UR DAYS ARE JUST SO WONDERFUL BABES 👨🏻‍🎓

love you and farewell ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

BILLIE MY LOVE !!! I MISSED YOU </33

REE THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GONNA CRY YOURE LITERALLY AN ANGEL :(( I HOPE YOURE KEEPING SAFE AND WELL!! RMR THAT YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING 🥺😭 ILY ILY

[woozi]

yza beloved 🥰🥰🤍

first of all, did you listen to jinyoung's title track?? how do you feel about it? <3 the whole concept pictures, teasers felt so unreal 😭 i couldn't believe it's finally happening. i'm so happy <3 he came out with such a vibe-y, dancey song i love it! and ofc the rest 4 emotional songs ❤️‍🩹😭 served c*nt in concept pictures and emotional lyrics in the album lmaoo, while we're on this topic how have you been liking the albums def released recently 🥺? i saw jaebeom is also releasing something soon but haven't gotten time to check the details hfjdjd

black eye literally went on top of my 'on repeat' playlist after just two kr three days and it's still there!! hdjdjdkd i love it so much, the composition, lyrics and mostly vernon's voice 😭🔥 this kind of genre fits him so well <3 i want him to release an album already 😔. i said this before too ( to so many people 😭💀) when 2 minus 1 came out, that he gives a mix of 5sos - green day vibes, i love it so much 😋

also the band live performance was so goood HDSKJSKSKSBD HE LOOKS SO FINE IN MV AS WELL AS BAND LIVE VIDEO AND ALSO FULL AGREE WITH YOU THEY SHOULD'VE USED THE BLACK TANK TOP FIT MORE 😭😭😭😭 I CAN'T HDDJDJ (never thought i'd get biaswrecked by him at all 😭) the way they created the band live video was great! but i wish they used the green screen a little less 😭 just personal preference. also so so excited about booseoksoon comeback <3 january is a gift which keeps giving ( i say this without even knowing what date bss single is dropping 💀) hdksks love that

love to know that you got to have some time for yourself, hope work load - deadlines aren't too much <3 ( if there are any more ), hope your real break comes soon!!

also, have you started any series or drama? i'm currently watching doom at your service, a year late but im finally here dhdjdj it's been great so far! i really love the character seo inguk has played 😭🤍 ( the pace in some episodes is a little slow to my liking </3 but it's bearable because of the cute couple, not really liking the sub plot 😭, can you tell i solely started it because of seo inguk?- ) anyway yes the drama is good 🤍😭

thank YOU for hanging out, i always have fun 🥺🤍 sending best days wishes as always, love you yza <333 rest well in between of work!

MA CHERIE <3333333333333333

im gonna get stoned for this but i havent been keeping up with the sevens lately and am now just a svtpoppie 😭 BUT IVE SEEN ALL OF THE PHOTOS <333 its exactly what i'd expect from him tbh 😋 ALSO JB'S IS SO FJKDFJKJDFKJFDKJKFDJKFD that's so him tbh,, but also so slay of him it's v unique <3 ALSO FORGOT TO TELL U FDKJFDJKDFKJFDJ i accidentally came across ponytail on spotify 😭😭 it was on shuffle and i didnt even know it was yugyeom i was just like,, what THE FUCK THIS IS SO GOOD (and the vocals havent even kicked in yet) and when i checked it was him 😭

ALSO URE SOOOOOO VALID <3 it fits him so well and i'm glad thats the route he chose to take for his solo tbh <3 early 2000s vernon i lov u

AND IK???????????? honestly i love how raw the band ver sounds i even prefer it more than the official one fdkjdfjdf but that also has its own charm and i understand why they produced it that way <3 ALSO AGREED LMFAOOOOOOOOO 😭😭 i got the concept they were going for but it was a little distracting to me (a lil funny even) ALSO CB THIS DAY HAS COME WE ALL NEED TO BE DOLLYS <#333333333333 the thing abt the svteenies is that they just have SOOO much to offer im a lil overwhelmed at times but im also so glad i cant wait for bss and ITS 😋

AND IM ON BREAK FR <3333333 classes for the next (and my final omg??) semester start 2nd week of february hehehe BUT WBU WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO <33

nooo i've actually been looking for things to watch but all my sister has been recommending me western series (sitcoms) but those r not really my vibe fdjkfdjkdf so i'll def be checking the drama u mentioned out ehehhe 😋

I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO OUR LIL HANGOUTS 🥺🥺 lov u even more wishing u only have sexy days ahead <33 MWAHH