#anyway: even young ZSJ is a great watch for me

[blizzardsuplex]

Zack Sabre Jr. versus Roderick Strong from EVOLVE 45, 7/10/2015

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW / ROH G1 SUPERCARD Review (April 6th 2019, New York, Madison Square Garden)

Honor Rumble  **

NEVER Openweight/ROH TV Title vs. Title Match: Will Ospreay vs. Jeff Cobb  ****

Rush vs Dalton Castle  DUD

WOH Title Match: Mayu Iwatani (c) vs. Kelly Klein  **

New York City Street Fight: Flip Gordon, Juice Robinson & Mark Haskins vs. Bully Ray, Silas Young & Shane Taylor  **1/2 (I guess)

IWGP Jr Heavyweight Title Match: Taiji Ishimori (c) vs. Dragon Lee vs. Bandido  ****1/4

IWGP Tag/ROH Tag Title vs. Title Match: Guerillas Of Destiny vs. Brody King & PCO vs. The Briscoes vs. EVIL & SANADA  ***3/4

RPW British Heavyweight Title Match: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi  ****

IWGP Intercontinental Title Match: Tetsuya Naito (c) vs. Kota Ibushi  ****3/4

ROH World Title Ladder Match: Jay Lethal (c) vs. Marty Scurll vs. Matt Taven ****

IWGP Heavyweight Title Match: Jay White (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada  ****3/4

Photos.

Well this was a historic and interesting show, as at times it was like watching two completely different wrestling shows at the same time. First things first, the lion’s share of ROH stuff on here was... not good. ROH is a company that once had such a unique identity, that watching it now is so weird. Lets face it, without this relationship with New Japan, what identity would Ring Of Honor even have? Also the booking on here from the ROH standpoint, was a tremendous example of not knowing what your audience wants. Nobody in the sold out MSG wanted to see guys like Minoru Suzuki, Tomohiro Ishii, Hirooki Goto and others, wasted in the pre-show batle royal, and have nearly half an hour dedicated to a disinteresting Bubba Ray Dudley street fight, or a TNA nostalgia act, not to mention a Ladder Match, that whilst great, was horrendously over-long at 29:35. Also Matt Taven winning the belt seemed like a total anti-climax.

However, the NJPW stuff on this show was excellent. The pre-show Rumble was what you’d expect, it was mostly disinteresting, and it went on forever (42:21). The ROH guys got zero reation coming out, whereas the New Japan guys all got respectable to enormous pops, depending on who they were. The biggest responses were for Minoru Suzuki, Tomohiro Ishii and Jushin Thunder Liger, the latter of whom got the legend treatment. However, the biggest reaction was saved for the surprise appearance of The Great Muta! It was tremendous to see him, even though he moved like a glacier, he was in really good shape, and his exchanges with Liger got over huge. Kenny King won to no reaction, when he eliminated both legends. The first bout of the main show saw NEVER Openweight champion, Will Ospreay, take on ROH TV champion, Jeff Cobb, in a title for title match. This was great stuff, as you’d expect, but probably wasn’t as good as expected. They worked a great big guy/little guy style, with the added wrinkle of the big guy being able to fly too. The crowd was hot, the action great, and the stuff creative. The finish saw Cobb hit a top rope Tour Of The Islands, followed by a regular version, to win both straps in 12:52. This means Cobb defends the NEVER title against Taichi at the next NJPW show, which is quite the styles clash. Next, Rush squashed Dalton Castle in 15 seconds in what was an effective way to get the Mexican star over, but felt somewhat superfluous on this show, and Kelly Klein won the WOH title from Maiyu Iwatani in a profoundly uninteresting contest, with a horrendous post-match.

The never-ending Bully Ray stuff was next. I must admit, I was so disinterested, I went and did something else for a bit in the hope I’d miss this, and came back only to find it still going! What I did see was OK, at best. The show really wasn’t doing well at this point, with a single match worth a damn thus far, but it picked up considerably from here. The 3 way Jr Title match was excellent. Yes, it only went 8:54, and with even 5 more minutes, could have been outstanding, but it was still the best thing on the show up to this point, by far. The spots these guys did were mind-blowing, culminating in Bandido hitting a DOUBLE top rope Fall Away Slam into a Moonsault on both Lee and Ishimori, which blew the roof off the Garden. In the end, Dragon Lee won the title in an all-action sprint, when he pinned Bandido (not the defending champion) with Desnucadora. This was so good. Next up was the insane 4 way tag title vs. title match, with IWGP tag champs, GOD, taking on ROH tag title holders, PCO and Brody King, with the Briscoes and EVIL and SANADA thrown in for good measure. This was another wild bout, which saw PCO take the craziest bump of the weekend, that I saw anyway, when GOD gave him a double powerbomb out of the ring, and he landed hard on the concrete. This was insane, and I feared he may have been dead. Tama hit King with Gun Stun, then the Tongans won both sets of belts when they pinned him with a Super Bomb. I really liked this, it was an unhinged four-way brawl. The ROH guys, and even GOD, looked really good here, however EVIL and SANADA were literally just bodies going through motions here and if they weren’t in it, I’m not sure it even would have mattered. Toru Yano stole the IWGP tag belts in the post match, whilst the Enzo and Cass bullshit kicked off around ringside.

ZSJ successfully defended the Rev Pro British title against Tanahashi next. This was another excellent bout in their series, but coming after three crazy matches in a row, two of which were great, and with them working a considerably more methodical style, the crowd were slightly more subdued here. Despite the slow start, they finally won the crowd over, and Sabre retained after submitting the Ace with his new stretch he’s calling Yes! I am A Long Way From Home (which I believe is Mogwai reference) after 15 minutes of action. Tana was apparently injured in this somewhere though, which puts a bit of a dampner on things. Naito defended the I.C. Title against Ibushi next. What more can be said of matches between these two? Every time they get in there against each other, I’m fearful one, or both, might die. Which is never a great feeling to have when watching a wrestling match. Of course, the fact their matches are always out of this world good makes up for it slightly. But only slighty. This had loads of crazy stuff in it; Ibushi hit a snap rana on Naito off the apron to the floor, as well as that deadlift German off the second rope, which when Naito landed, his head snapped like he’d been thrown out of a car. They had a stiff strike exchange, before Naito hit a reverse rana and Destino for a great near fall. Ibushi battles back with a headkick, two Boma Ye’s, a Last Ride, and Kamigoye to win the Intercontinental title in decisive fashion at the 20:53. This was the right move to me, as with Kota part of the company full time, New Japan really should be positioning him at the top of the card, and Naito is already an established star (even if that star has fallen somewhat over the last year), so he isn’t hurt by the loss. Ibushi’s first defense is against Sabre Jr at the Sengoku Lord show in Nagoya on April 20th, which should be great. The ROH World Title Ladder Match followed. It too was excellent, and featured some incredible bumps, but it went on much too long, and Taven winning hardly invokes enthusiasm, it must be said.

Which brought us to the main event of the evening. This was an exceptional piece of drama, which took its time to get to where it was going. I’ve heard people complain about how the first half of the match wasn’t exactly scintilating, but it was all part of telling the story it set out to tell. It built to an incredibly dramatic climax, which saw, amongst other things, Jay White joining an incredible elite club of guys who have ever kicked out of a full on Rainmaker, probably the most protected finisher in the business. In fact, it took Okada four dropkicks and four variations of the Rainmaker to finally put Switch Blade away. After hitting a Blade Runner (which noticeably wasn’t kicked out of here), Jay went for another, but Okada turned it into a German Suplex. As the sold out MSG went crazy, and after a series of blocks and counters, Okada hit the spinning Tombstone and another Rainmaker to win his 5th IWGP Title at the 32:33 mark, and send everyone home happy. Honestly, Okada looked like the best worker on the planet (I mean, because he is. Even better than Kenny) and he put in a superstar performance here, doing everything to make White look like a star. To his credit, Jay carried his load well here too, and looked great throughout. At only 26 years old, the future is very bright for him too, but the title change was the right call I believe. Okada is still your franchise player, and whilst he doesn’t have a whole load in the way of fresh challengers, his main events are unequelled. Next up for him is a title defense against SANADA in Fukuoka on May 3rd, as he promised to Cold Skull after beating him to win the NJC. Their last match was a classic, so I see no reason for that not to be too.

NDT

[closetofanxiety]

Show Review: Beyond Wrestling, “Feeling Minnesota”

Third wrestling show in two days! What was I thinking? Tell you what: after I got home from this show I watched the WWE Payback ppv. I gotta fever, and the only cure is more wrestling! Let’s get to it:

Where: Aurora Nightclub, downtown (actually they say “downcity,” whatta buncha fancypantses) Providence, Rogues Island

When: Sunday, April 30, 2017, 2 p.m. belltime

What: Yesterday’s show was “Looking California” and today’s is “Feeling Minnesota,” and this is a Soundgarden reference, specifically to their first big hit, “Outshined.” But also, does anyone remember the moody Keanu Reeves/Cameron Diaz mid-90s film “Feeling Minnesota”? God, it sucked. It was from an era of lousy movies that attempted to be Tarantino-esque but only came off as smarmy and incoherent. Reeves’ character in the film is named “Jjaks Clayton.” Seriously: “Jjaks.” What kind of bullshit are you trying to put over on us with that? The soundtrack also had that shitty, post-grunge vibe to it; I remember there was a lackluster Helmet song. God, what a bad movie. I hope this show is better.

Bonus Match: Some guy defeats Jay Freddie

Another “bonus” match! We came in just as this one was ending. I didn’t catch the winner’s name, but from the two or three minutes we saw, it looked fun. I’ll have to pay more attention to this Jay Freddie fellow! He’s going to Japan for a few months, though.

Janelope (Joey Janela and Penelope Ford) def. XXXL (Brian “Kingpin” Milonas and Ace Romero) via pinfall

This was a great way to start the show. It was like watching a live action cartoon, because Milonas and Romero combined are like 750 pounds. The whole creative thrust of the match was waiting to see whether these two giants would completely squash tiny Penelope Ford, who stayed alive by flirting with the easily smitten Romero, much to the consternation of Milonas, who kept slapping his partner in the face and barking, “Focus!” Eventually Janela rallied, Penelope turned on heartbroken Ace, and Janelope triumphed. Then “Cold Steel” Chuck O’Neill ran in, knocked Penelope over, and put Joey in a triangle choke on behalf of Matt Riddle, who has accepted Janela’s challenge at Americanrana. I want to see this match so bad, but more: I want to see Janela’s promos leading up to the match. Yesterday the crowd chanted “Spring break!” for Janela, today they chanted “Grapplefuck!” in a nod to his delightful contempt of that ethos. Rating: Three and a half Keanus.

David Starr def. “Hot Sauce” Tracy Williams via submission

Buddy, did I mention grapplefuck? This was a fuckaganza, a grappletacular, a veritable clinic in the fucking of grapple. Lots of chain wrestling here, so much so that the ghost of Lou Thesz hovered over the first five minutes of the match, nodding paternally. After that they started smacking the shit out of each other, which I enjoyed. David Starr is a huge talent, they just need to find a program for him. He had a budding feud with Nick Gage which ended when the Nickster went back to the hoosegow, and then the Starr-Janela feud kind of fizzled out. He’s spinning his wheels in Beyond right now, but he’s always entertaining. Rating: Three Keanus.

Deonna Purrazzo def. Karen Q and Tasha Steelz via pinfall

I like all three of these wrestlers a lot, but this suffered from the standard problem of triple threat matches (i.e. for much of the match, at least one person has nothing to do), and there were a couple of seriously blown moments, although I think both might have been the referee’s fault. He missed a near fall, like to the point where the crowd started yelling at him to count the pin, and then he didn’t indicate that Tasha Steelz was tapping out (it was an elimination match) so the ring announcer had to do that. Kind of messy! Not terrible, though, and I’d like to see more of Karen Q in particular. Rating: Two Keanus.

Dan Barry def. Swoggle, Johnny Cockstrong, “Supercop” Dick Justice, Stan Stylez, and Jarek 1:20 via pinfall

I think this is one of the legacies of the Spring Break show: a match that can only really be billed as a clusterfuck. You had Stan Stylez, who was new to me, whose thing was that he used a Shake Weight like he was jerking off, and then sprayed whipped cream all over himself, like ejaculate; you had Johnny Cockstrong, with a light-up codpiece; you had Swoggle, who attracted the ire of three virulent haters in the crowd who kept holding up a “Swoggle Swallows” sign for some reason; and you had Dan Barry, who is the make-believe wrestling cop. Except! Dan Barry wants to be taken seriously as a serious wrestler now, disavowing his comedy gimmick and grimacing through this match in which he is pitted against five goofballs. I actually think this is a neat storyline and hope to see them run with it some more, presumably building to a match with Bill Carr. A fair number of little kids were in attendance, which made all the dick jokes and ass-biting seem even more grotesque than they would have been. If you aren’t a fan of comedy wrestling, this is Extremely Not Your Thing. Rating: Two and a half Keanus.

EYFBO (Mike Draztik and Angel Ortiz) def. The American Destroyers (Donovan Dijak and Mikey Webb) via pinfall

This was a hoot. Pure chaos, with none of the comedy that both teams can do, just a full-on sprint from start to finish. EYFBO had the Impact tag team titles with them (the titles still say TNA, DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT BRANDING) and the Destroyers came out full of cocky swagger. Mikey Webb has really grown on me as Dijak’s shit-talking sidekick, and Mike Draztik should be a huge singles star one day, the dude just has so much ability and charisma. This has been the best Destroyers match I’ve seen so far, and one of the best EYFBO matches. Rating: Four Keanus.

INTERMISSION!

The editor at Spectacle of Excess wants to do more interviews, and she asked if I wanted to interview Janela (she is interviewing Su Yung, and I am jealous). I do, although I really don’t know what to ask. I feel like wrestlers are more guarded about stuff that you’d really want to know, and as a result most interviews tend to be things like “How did you get into wrestling/what are some of your favorite matches/who do you want to wrestle next.” I don’t know, man. I’m a weird awkward fuck at the best of times, and never liked cold-calling interviews when I was a journalist. We’ll see. If you have any questions for Joey Janela, send them my way.

Team PAWG (LuFisto and Jordynne Grace) def. Alpha Sigma Sigma (Anthony Greene and Brick Mastone) via pinfall

Team PAWG (That’s “Phat Ass White Girls,” your holiness) were introduced by ring announcer Rich Palladino as having a combined weight of 325 pounds, “25 of which are athletic ass meat,” and I thought, Boy, I come from a family of college professors. Which is true. I, however, dropped out of grad school to become a newspaper reporter, and now here I am, in a bar in Providence, Rhode Island on a Sunday afternoon, listening to a guy in a tuxedo describe the “ass meat” of two women in front of an audience that includes preteens. Say what you want about me, but you can’t deny that I am a total disappointment. Anyway, this match was pretty lukewarm. Greene and Mastone are talented young dudes, but trapped in this fuck boy (fuckboi?) gimmick that, in fairness, does get a fair amount of heat. I kind of thought this would be a knockdown dragout, as all four wrestlers can really go, but it was mostly a comedy match focused on the ass power of LuFisto and Jordynne Grace. A little disappointing! Rating: Two Keanus.

Keith Lee def. Michael Elgin via pinfall

If this were Wrestling Twitter, I would just write HOSS FIGHT and be done with it. Two gigantic men who are both skilled wrestlers colliding in a hard-fought battle with lots of spots showing off Elgin’s incredible strength and Lee’s amazing athleticism. This went a little long, which is something you can say for like 75 percent of indie matches, but in this case that was especially noticeable, since the awe of this matchup starts to wear off after 10 minutes or so. Still a lot of fun and may come across better on video. Rating: Three Keanus.

AR Fox def. John Silver via pinfall

Silver was originally scheduled to wrestle the absent Davey Richards, who had a family situation he had to be present for. Silver came out to the ring and said there was only one man he wanted to face in Richards’ absence: Dave Bautista. His “I Walk Alone” theme music started playing, but instead of the “Guardians of the Galaxy 2″ star, Ansonia, Connecticut’s favorite son, AR Fox, emerged from the back. Delightfully, Fox kept up Batista-esque mannerisms throughout the match, including the machine gun pose. This was, like all AR Fox matches, completely bonkers, with the man seemingly determined to prove his neck is made of rubber. Lots of back and forth on the offense, with Fox winning via rollup after Silver tried to go for the Batista Bomb. Rating: Three and a half Keanus. 

Doom Patrol (Chris Dickinson and Jaka) def. Jonathan Gresham and Zack Sabre Jr. via pinfall

I loved this match. The back story is that since Dickinson attacked Jordynne Grace, Gresham’s real-life girlfriend, the Octopus has been out for revenge on the Dirty Daddy. This had a lot of rawness to it, with Dickinson and Gresham getting in each other’s faces before the bell and getting pulled apart by their tag team partners and the ref. Very few people do nasty as well as Chris Dickinson. (Side note: Doom Patrol came out with the EVOLVE tag team championship belts, and it was neat to realize Team Pazuzu has the team gold in two separate promotions right now) The match itself was a gritty classic, with Gresham and ZSJ being pushed out of their customary technical wizardry into brutal striking contests with Jaka and Dickinson. Chaos started to reign down the stretch, and when the Doom Patrol got Gresham up for the Doomsday Device, Jordynne Grace ran in, ostensibly to help her man but in reality causing confusion that allowed Dickinson to get the win via rollup. Afterwards, she and Gresham bickered, with Grace saying she should have been his partner for this match instead of Zacky Three Belts. They decided to settle this in the only way possible: INSIDE THE SQUARED CIRCLE, at Beyond’s show in May. Fun! Rating: Four Keanus.

Final verdict: Not quite the start-to-finish classic as yesterday’s show, but well worth your time and dollars.

[closetofanxiety]

Show review: EVOLVE 77

This is it baby! The last time to hear the Chris Hero rap! The last time to see him wear 1990s NBA gear! The last time to call him “Chris Hero” instead of Kassius Ohno! Also, other matches.

Where: Woodlawn Park Gym in San Antonio, Texas

When: Saturday, January 28, 2017

Who: Big crowd, close to a sellout, no idea on the head count

The opening match was originally going to be Darby Allin vs. Peter Kaasa, but after Kaasa’s near-injury (semi-injury?) when the rope broke last night, they kept him off the show as a precaution, per EVOLVE honcho Gabe Sapolsky. So in Kaasa’s place we get Barrett Brown, who I believe is a Texas indie guy. That’s how he’s dressed, anyway. But before the match starts, Ethan Page comes out with the Gatekeepers and they start hassling young Darb for his heroism in saving Zack Sabre Jr. from a Gatekeepers beat down the night before. This leads to a three-on-two tag match, namely:

Ethan Page and the Gatekeepers vs. Darby Allin & Barrett Brown

Pretty fun action to start. Page and the ex-Chikara men have a huge size advantage, and they pummel the hell out of the shorter, faster Allin & Brown. Brown not getting much time, but using it well. Eventually, size and numbers worked to the bad guys’ favor, and they started going to town on Allin, until the son of Zack Sabre himself stormed into the ring and started knocking nine bells of shit out of the Gatekeepers and Page. THIS IS LIKE ECW-STYLE BOOKING HERE! I love this reckless side of Sabre Jr. I had more fun watching this than virtually any other EVOLVE match I can think of. At one point, Allin shinnied up a giant metal column like a dang monkey and did his coffin drop on the other wrestlers. Berserk! ZSJ gets one of the Gatekeepers to tap out to the Kimura lock. Really fun! Rating: Four Dang Monkeys.

Tracy Williams vs. The Laredo Kid

Oh, what a relief, Human Serving of Wheat Germ Tracy Williams is here to sloooooow things down from that fun opener! I was excited to see the Laredo Kid, mostly because of the hilarious anecdotes about him on AIW’s “The Card is Going to Change” podcast, but midway through this standard matchup I realized those anecdotes take place outside wrestling rings. Laredo Kid is a good luchador, Tracy Williams is Mr. Catch Point, this is fine but has no real reason to exist. Rating: Two Dang Monkeys.

The Doom Patrol (Chris Dickinson and Jaka) vs. Jason Kincaid and Sammy Guevara

I want to be clear in that Dickinson and Jaka are not billed as the Doom Patrol, but that is in fact the name of their team, even though in EVOLVE we’re supposed to pretend that they are not the degenerate New York torture thugs of Team Pazuzu, but instead are members in good standing of Catch Point, the dryyyyyyyy cracker of wrestling factions. Guevara, like Laredo Kid, is making his EVOLVE debut here, and gets a nice reaction from the local crowd. He and Kincaid do a lot of impressive stuff: Guevara with a really sweet shooting star press, Kincaid with a circus-level rope walk. All the pretty moves in the world can’t stand up to raw brutality, though, boys! Dickinson and Jaka eventually overpower the other dudes and win with a doomsday chokeslam. Or, since this is Catch Point, I don’t know, a do-your-homework chokeslam. A vegan-breakfast chokeslam. A tandem chokeslam, is what I’m trying to say. Rating: Three Dang Monkeys.

ACH vs. Fred Yehi

It’s sort of telling that in the year of grace 2017, guys like ACH and Keith Lee would choose to work with EVOLVE (and other indies) than to stick with Ring of Honor. When was the last time you cared about Ring of Honor in any sustained way? It’s just so dull, and with the WWE giving jobs to guys like Tommy End and to gals like Heidi Lovelace, why wouldn’t someone like ACH want to take his chances in the open waters outside the Sinclair Broadcasting Shallows? Anyway, this match is super fine, but ACH is starting his EVOLVE tenure this weekend, and so doesn’t have any storylines or reasons to be wrestling, so it has something of an exhibition level feel. I mean, this is true of many EVOLVE matches, but whatever. I liked this match, but it wasn’t quite the top level of what both guys are capable of. Rating: Three Dang Monkeys.

Matt Riddle vs. DUSTIN

I cleaned the bathroom during this match. I’m worried my dislike of Matt Riddle is starting to become pathological. I bet Riddle won.

EVOLVE Championship Match: Timothy Thatcher w/Stokely Hathaway (c) vs. Jeff Cobb

The indie wrestling fans have turned on Thatcher in the last year or so, leveling complaints against him that sound like my complaints about EVOLVE in general: boring, no personality, wrestles the same match every time, etc. Oddly, while I think these apply to much of EVOLVE, I love Tim Thatcher, particularly since his inexplicable alliance with Stokely Hathaway, who comes across like a minor character from the 1990s TV show “Martin,” which is a magnificently weird gimmick for a wrestling manager. I also like Jeff Cobb, and had high hopes for this matchup, but it was a little on the dull side. It was basically an old-school NWA match: Thatcher worked Cobb’s arm throughout, and Cobb sold that brilliantly. But it’s 2017, and as much as people claim they want old-school wrestling, they mostly don’t. The crowd was dead. Thatcher retained. Thatcher has been EVOLVE champion since July 10, 2015 and is only the fourth man to hold that title. Think of how different things were on July 10, 2015! Everyone was laughing at the prospect of a Donald Trump candidacy. We were so innocent then. Rating: Two and a half Dang Monkeys.

Chris Hero vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Hero came out in New York Knicks gear, a sly nod to his next place of business (in the territory days, going to work in the WWWF was known as “going to New York”). ZSJ started things early, refusing the handshake and trying to get an early submission win, which turned into 15 minutes of Hero using his size and strength to basically beat the shit out of the smaller man. Any time Sabre Jr tried to get in any office, Hero effortlessly overpowered him. After hitting a tombstone piledriver, Hero decided to fuck with the crowd by giving ZSJ a pedigree to finish him off, but Sabre Jr kicked out of the pin at one, which popped the crowd like a firecracker and made me exclaim, “Fuck yes!” out loud in my house, startling my cat. Really great stuff, although admittedly purely for the insider fan. But hasn’t the Internet and social media made us all insider fans? You’d think so, but then you go to the Instagram pages of, like, Mia Yim and Cherry Bomb, and read the enraged comments of TNA fans accusing them of cheating to win matches. Maybe we’re not all insiders. Anyway, an enraged Hero hit two more piledrivers and went for a third, which Sabre rolled into a submission, forcing Kassius Ohno to tap out. This was a great match, and a tribute to Hero’s status as the top man in indie wrestling: you leave a territory on your back, putting the young guy over. That’s the right way to do business. This could have been shorter, but ended on a tremendous high note. Rating: Four dang monkeys.