#anyway usually i try 2 draw a bit of a veil over my total hideous uselessness
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the problem with having semi-fixed my sleep schedule is that now there’s all this day i hear i’m supposed to do things with???
#the learned helplessness is SO bad i’m just like. sitting here blankly#it’s a LOVELY blue and green and breezy day#76 going up to 78#probably i should go on a bikeventure but the prospect sounds so exhausting lol#even though realistically the nice thing abt biking is like. if you get tired yr already sitting down#anyway usually i try 2 draw a bit of a veil over my total hideous uselessness#but i think like. if i can’t even admit to it anonymously on a site full of other strugglers how am i ever supposed to face or tackle it#and if you guys think poorly of me for it‚ well��� it’s not like you’ll think anything more cutting than i’ve already thought abt myself#actually probs what i SHOULD do is finish changing over the tires on my bike#i got gatorskins last summer and swapped out one and then didn’t do the other‚ lol#and i’m pretty sure the remaining bontrager tire is like. FULLY punctured in spots at this point#could also stand to clean and relube my bike chain… might just cheat and use the combo product again lol#probs none of this would actually even take THAT long but i keep putting it off out of laziness#anyway am currently supervising feline yard exploration but like. could in theory multitask#slash eventually she WILL want to go in for lunch#but yeah tl;dr having even yr most harmless impulses hypercorrected from childhood on…#WILL eventually mean you stop trying to direct yr own life‚ or even being in touch with yr own impulses#you heard it here very not first#and when eventually the ppl controlling you either die or run out of preconceived hoops to chivvy you thru… you’re just. there. drifting#🍃
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