#anyway update btw if you even care etc. made it off the bathroom floor i am now. in bed
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if nobody got me i know autoheart got me
#sailor song 🤝 hungover in the city of dust#<< songs that affect me so very deeply every time i listen to them /neg /affectionate#feelin moody dark and heavy theres no feeling in my left arm resonance is far away#try to complicate my thinking am i falling am i sinking powder in my fingernail#<< lyrics that fucking DESTROY me !!!!!!!!!#anyway update btw if you even care etc. made it off the bathroom floor i am now. in bed#loki kept crying @ me and i felt bad and now he is. laying across my legs#dare i say. esa behavior (he is not actually trained for that but. sometimes it feels like he is)#ughghggghhhhghgh#i need to. do something#i need 2 not think abt tomorrow. dont wanna sleep. also im afraid if i stay up i will Text Her#which is something i have NOT thought about doing in. god almost 5 years?#like. not even after i kept getting all of her tiktoks on my fyp. not even after i saw all those videos of her on new years.#and like. logic brain. i KNOW its a garbage idea i dont even know what i would even want to SAY#i just. wanna sit in her living room again at 3am watching cartoons and eating microwave pancakes and writing shitty fanfic together#rhgrhhhgrrrghghhhghhhh. head in hands#anyway dont look at me im . going thru it#delete later
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