#anyway uhhh this is how i think it should've been handled

[ultfan]

MY DESPAIR DR3 IDEAS LFG

firstly, i just wanna say that i am basing everything here based of info we get in dr1, dr2 and dr0. i'm just wiping the actual anime itself from my brain. so anime exclusive editions are just gonna be scrubbed. i may be able to fit them in somewhere, but they're not my focus. this is origin story centric.

kick off during the first year of the dr2 cast. i think rather than showing how unified the group is it would actually make more sense if everyone was kinda struggling. obviously some people would form their close bonds, like nekomaru and akane, gundham and sonia, etc. but i don't think it makes sense for the cast to have as close a bond as they do in dr3.

hajime and chiaki were huge pieces when it came to keeping the peace/unity between the members of the dr2 cast during the game. they would not be present in class 77-B. because hajime is in the reserve course and chiaki is an ai.

if their first year of school was all sunshine and rainbows i don't see why they would erase memories of ALL of their time at hope's peak academy.

narratively it makes the most sense for their first year to be setup as to why these people would fall for junko. they shouldn't be having a great time at hope's peak. fuyuhiko's sister is killed, sato is killed, people have health complications, people are dealing with family troubles... even if they try to keep together there is a lot boiling under the surface.

nagito, as a known troublemaker, would 100% fucking make the problems they are facing worse. because on god you know komaeda would tell fuyuhiko to his face that his sister's death was a "stepping stone" and he could overcome it. — he is definitely a disrupter of unity, even if he's not trying to be.

hajime's deal is likely a seemingly disconnected b-plot until the izuru stuff happens (at least if you're watching without any danganronpa context... which would be stupid... but narratively that's how it would look). ——— he's separated from the rest of the cast, probably often witnessing things form the sidelines. the focus on hajime should be on his worsening mental health, going from being excited to be going to hope's peak to learning what it really means to be in the reserve course.

he strikes me as someone who would at least TRY to get involved with the main course students. i think it'd be interesting to see him all hopeful and trying to make ultimate friends or act like he's on the same level as them. only to get completely shut down and rejected by the people he does end up reaching out to.

really use him to show just how poorly reserve course students are treated by the school. the disparity between the two kinds of students — the fact that the reserve course are ONLY there to give hope's peak more funding and nothing else.

highlight how badly he wants to be part of that world. how desperate he is. how he'd be willing to do anything to feel "special." like he's worth something.

yasuke has to be important as the ultimate neurologist. he helped with the memory shit, he's implied to have helped on the kamakura project, and he is also said to have his research used in the neo world program. not including him in all of this would honestly just be a crime. he ties everything together in a neat bow.

given that they're both entering the school in the same year, and nagito got his diagnosis this year too, there is no way he wouldn't see this as fate. he is going to hope's peak at the same time as the ultimate neruologist! that has to be a sign. i can easily see nagito offering up himself to yasuke so he could study his illness and monitor his brain activity. yasuke, who has a past with this kind of disease, would probably be more than willing to as well.

in the middle of the year the school, being impressed with his work, yasuke is reached out in private to assist in the kamakura project. he accepts and gets on it ——— in the background hajime is scouted and accepts to participate out of desperation, not entirely aware of what he's getting into.

enter class 78 — and junko and mukuro — who, thanks to yasuke, are able to easily integrate themselves into the plot and where they need to be.

junko's relationship with yasuke allows her to learn about the kamakura project early on into the school year. she learns about it's progress, it's purpose, and where izuru is being kept (for future reference).

by coincidence — or perhaps thanks to bad luck — she is able to meet nagito through yasuke. this is a guy who's brain doesn't function normally. simply put, he is an incredibly difficult guy to predict/truly understand. i imagine he would interest junko — and his hope fanaticism would be something of note that can be taken advantage of. it is via nagito that junko is able to get an interest in class 77-B and learn about the misfortune they faced last year (when she wasn't here). this will eventually domino into her turning them into ultimate despair. this makes a lot more sense then randomly running into a guy and deciding he's important to the plot, imho.

izuru would get "rescued" by the despair sisters. with a combination of the information they got from yasuke, mukuro's skills as the ultimate soldier, and junko's ultimate analyst ability they are able to avoid trouble and smoothly get to him. this is the real start of her plan.

in dr2 it is said that junko "broke izuru's spirit" — which implied he had a spirit to break. in dr3 he was already dead inside, but i feel like it would make sense if the scientists really tried to make him incredibly loyal to hope's peak and the idea of hope. you know — actually attempt to make the ultimate hope. make that his entire identity.

izuru, incapable of remembering anything that has ever been told to the contrary, is given an entirely different view of the world through junko. izuru, given his little reaction to being on the boat (his excitement at the rocking) strikes me as someone who is surprisingly ignorant and impressionable. which makes sense. they took away all his memories/feelings/personality. and so, when junko gives her philosophy to him, he asks for her to prove it.

he doesn't initially believe her, thanks to how he was created, but then the idea of the first mutual killing game comes up. izuru participates out of sheer curiosity to see where junko is coming from — to see if there is anything at all to this. and given that is the incident that leads to the inevitable fall of hope's peak... it seems to izuru that there is. THAT is what breaks his spirit.

izuru learns that everything he went through, that everything he thought he knew, was a lie. and that the concept that he is meant to embody and put forth into the world isn't... really... anything. "hope" — what is that? it's such a vague idea and it's different for literally every person. it's just an empty promise. there's no hope for someone like him. and there's no hope for this school — or this world. not really.

the events of dr0 happen. most people actually know that ryoko is junko and that she lost her memories (at least class 78 and people who knew her beforehand were aware) — and we know the school is also covering shit up too. izuru goes into hiding. the reserve course students start rioting. kyoko goes to investigate the killings of the student council and is eventually told to stop by her dad (because if she got any further she'd learn about things the school couldn't risk getting out). mukuro tests out her junko disguise here and there, but probably not in public often (mostly just with ryoko). and yasuke is killed, his death covered up by the school.

if kyoko is able to investigate, i think it is logical that nagito also investigates. i mean, his beloved symbols of hope are dying! he is pretty close to kyoko's levels of deduction in dr2, often having solved the cases before everyone else and just watching things progress as he drip feeds hints. i have no doubt kyoko would've been able to uncover everything if she wasn't stopped, but nagito also has an advantage: knowing yasuke.

he would know yasuke wouldn't suddenly drop out and stop their research — he's the ultimate neurologist, after all. it's also likely that he knew he was treating junko (ryoko) for a while. and if he were to investigate his lab/dorm he could be able to find the research papers on memory that were stolen by the despair sisters for their future plans.

with this knowledge, as well as seeing that junko SUDDENLY regained her memories after yasuke's disappearance, i think it's reasonable for him to confront them and figure out what they're doing.

junko takes advantage of the kind of person nagito is. we know from monokuma's behavior in dr2 that it seems he really trusts nagito to go above and beyond when given the opportunity to challenge his symbols of hope. monokuma was supportive of komaeda in the first killing and even actively helped him a little bit when it came to setting things up for the investigation (hajime even mentioned it seemed like nagito had trained monokuma). and i've already talked about how the final dead room's highest difficult setting was likely made specifically with komaeda in mind — knowing he would do something extreme upon finding out about their identities of ultimate despiar.

what takes place is a proposed battle against hope and despair. junko would know enough about nagito from yasuke to know about his love of hope, as well as his abberant behavior. and, with mukuro around, she's not in danger if she spills some stuff to nagito. if he threatens to spill things before they're ready to be spilled, he'd get killed. luckily, nagito is 100% the kind of person to side with his enemies.

this school and the ultimates here are basically komaeda's coping mechanism. he believes that hope can overcome any despiar. and so he fully believes junko's plans will fall flat and that the symbols of hope will easily overcome her despair and be stronger for it. junko is able to egg him on — get him to prove it  — and he agrees to help her spread her despair just to prove her wrong. he doesn't believe his assistance will do much. because he believes himself inconsequential and irrelevant.

it is through nagito that junko is able to learn more personal details of class 77-B, and through him that she is able to manipulate them directly and indirectly. she is able to break each of them down one by one — really dig in and target them in ways that would break them specifically. and eventually brainwash them (in the culty sense, not the mind control sense) into accepting her despair mindset.

junko works a lot like a cult leader in my mind. she is able to perfectly analyze and predict others, and has great charisma. after breaking them down she could easily offer them despair to give them some "meaning" back into their life. and we know from mikan and nagito that "just despair" isn't always the reason for the members of ult despair to do what they do. mikan was doing it out of love and devotion for junko, for example.

as nagito sees each of his classmates fall over to junko's side and begin to add fuel to the fire of the tragedy, he starts getting a little nervous. but he managed to convince himself that they were just surprisingly weak in the end, and holds onto hope that the school itself and the majority of students would be fine. unfortunately, that's not the case.

the new members of ultimate despair manage to push the reserve course students over the edge — and start pushing the world towards the edge as well — leading to the mass suicide and the complete collapse of hope's peak. class 78 being "coincidentally" the only class to survive. this would end up getting nagito fully despair-pilled, even if he is still fighting for hope. and it would end with all members of ultimate despair (aside from mukuro and junko, who agree to be locked up in the remains of hope's peak) going somewhat into hiding to spread despair from the shadows (i say in hiding because we know that they didn't know the identities of the remnants, and didn't even know there were 15 other survivors).

i imagine part of junko's motivation for getting all these extra members into ultimate despair was to ensure that things wouldn't die down in the outside world without her directly involved. and, of course, to get help with the things she needed help with (building monokuma, for example).

EXTRA STUFF I WAS VAGUE ABOUT

how junko would get each individual member of ult despair is up in the air. i have nagito and izuru clear in my mind because i think it makes the sense for them to be the most directly involved in the plot, given their overall significance in the series. but i do have some ideas:

she probably preyed on maihiru's guilt involving the twliight syndrome murder case.

mikan is obvious — she preyed on her need for love/acceptance and gave it to her.

fuyuhiko and peko were probably targeted together, preying on the death of his sister and peko's role as a tool.

took advantage of ibuki's loneliness after leaving her girlband.

etc etc etc.

however she did do it for each of them, i believe it was a matter of ensuring they got to their lowest point (probably even with nagito's help, given his skills of manipulation and complete willingness to be a fall guy), and then swooping them in and being the person that they need in that moment. her true colors probably only really being seen/felt by the time they were all despair-pilled and it was too late for them.

at some point treating each other horribly is part being ultimate despair, yeah? like... kind words aren't used between them. it's similar to mukuro in danganronpa if ——— when she realized junko is cutting her off because she's being super kind and speaking about how much she loves her. for ultimate despair verbal abuse becomes a love language, it feels. hence why i think junko was pretty mean to the remaining remnants in the last dr2 trial. that's just how they interact! they make fun of each other, they're mean, they're abusive. so they can feel despair. because that's all they have at that point.

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I mean, the answer is that you're supposed to feel sympathy towards both of them I think. Sort-of. Arguably, you're SUPPOSED to feel more sympathy for Anakin than the Tuskens since, by the time of this film coming out, there WASN'T a lot out there that explored the Tuskens as a people and certainly nothing that was positive about them. I think the intention is to recognize that this was a horrible thing that Anakin did, and that killing "the women and children" was definitely crossing a line, but that Anakin's reaction was very sympathetic and understandable after what had happened to his mother. I usually liken this scene to Anakin killing an entire pack of wolves down to the last puppy because one of them attacked his mother or something. Not that that's how we SHOULD view the Tuskens, obviously, but that I think that's how LUCAS sort-of viewed the Tuskens and the emotions of this scene.

There is nothing about what Anakin does that is "normal" and I think that that's something that's made very clear in the film. Anakin is getting the Imperial March music, he's clearly falling into his own darkness here, this is a first major step towards becoming Darth Vader. Padme claims that to be angry is to be human, and she's not wrong, but being angry to the point of massacring an entire village down to the last child is uhhh... perhaps NOT so human. Or it's human, but it's still fucking horrific and not something that should be condoned the way she's doing in this scene. She prioritizes comforting Anakin over anything else, despite the fact that he's showing zero remorse FOR THE TUSKENS (he shows remorse for having acted unlike a Jedi, yes, but no actual remorse over the Tuskens being dead, it's a very important difference that a lot of his fans choose not to recognize).

The appropriate Jedi reaction would've been, yes, to simply remove the body without being noticed and just leaving the Tuskens alone at that point. The Jedi do not have the ability to fix the strained relationship between the Tuskens and the settlers and even if they did, this would not be the appropriate time or place to attempt to do so. ALL that can be done in this situation is to retrieve Shmi's body so that the people who love her can get some closure over what happened.

And arguably, a true Jedi WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON TATOOINE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Remember, Anakin has been assigned to be a bodyguard for Padme to keep her from being assassinated after multiple attempts on her life recently. He chose to ABANDON that duty in order to go to Tatooine to try to save his mother instead. Padme seems to be understanding about this and chooses to go with him, but that doesn't negate that Anakin was fully planning to just abandon her entirely for his own selfish agenda. If he wanted to go to Tatooine to save his mother, this is something he could've and SHOULD'VE discussed with Obi-Wan and the Council much earlier and they could've let him go handle that while someone else got assigned to Padme to protect her. But once he took on the responsibility of protecting Padme, it was no longer appropriate to just go off to Tatooine to try to save Shmi. He shouldn't have been there when going there clearly meant leaving Padme unprotected. He abandoned his duty, something no real Jedi would ever actually have done in his position. Had Anakin been honest about his dreams and desires earlier, he might've gotten there before Shmi was too far gone which could've kept him from choosing to massacre the Tuskens simply because getting Shmi to medical attention would've been the first priority. If he'd been honest about it, then Obi-Wan probably would've been sent with him which might've helped him manage his emotions over it all more properly.

Anyway, I think the intention here is for you to recognize that this was a pretty horrifically violent thing for Anakin to have done but that ultimately Anakin is the most sympathetic party. HOWEVER, from a more modern perspective, this is an incredibly racist intention that is absolutely based on old movies depicted Native American and Arab people in incredibly racist ways. Lucas has openly admitted to using old Westerns as inspiration for this sequence in particular. It's intended to be VIOLENT, but I don't think he recognized it as RACIST, not really. When Anakin calls the Tuskens "animals" it's perhaps meant to be a little shocking, but not actually intended for us to realize Anakin is a bigoted racist asshat. Given that we've never seen anything positive about the Tuskens before this, they only seem to use animal-like sounds to speak, they're shown to be very violent and territorial themselves, and are scared off by Obi-Wan sounding like a bigger animal in ANH, it's not hard to agree with Anakin's assessment that they're not far off from animals. And given the fact that they're clearly designed to look like Bedouin Arabs, this is... really really uncomfortable these days.

Which is why we've seen more and more Star Wars media trying to undo some of that and represent the Tuskens better. A legends comic set just after AOTC introduces a Jedi who was a human that was raised among the Tuskens and considers himself one of them and pushes against Anakin's bigotry towards them. The Mandalorian has Din capable of reasoning with the Tuskens and communicating with them via sign language, he even mentions that he spent some time with them some years ago when he was injured and they took care of him. We see Din convincing a group of Tuskens to fight alongside some settlers in order to achieve a common goal. In The Book of Boba Fett, the Tuskens save him and he spends some time being taken care of them and being fully inducted into their culture himself. We see a lot more of Tusken culture in terms of their traditions, their dances, their dress. We are allowed to see them being silly and kind and determined to learn new things. There's also a short story in one of the anthology books that I think looks at the Tuskens more and represents them very positively, but I haven't read it myself.

So with all of that in mind, it is now VERY difficult to look at what Anakin did to the Tuskens and not feel sympathetic towards the Tuskens equally as much as Anakin. Yes, what happened to his mother was horrific and he's entirely within his rights to be upset about that. But massacring the entire tribe down to the last child is by an EQUALLY horrific thing to do. Keep in mind, no matter how powerful Anakin is, he is still one person and he claims to have murdered the entire tribe. In order to do that, he'd have had to HUNT DOWN some of the ones who probably tried to run. And while he doesn't mention them, this seems to be a fairly normal tribe which means it wouldn't just have "women and children" but it would also have had elderly and infirm who could no longer fight, too, even if they were "men." Anakin would've murdered them, too. Anakin doesn't just condemn these people for what happened to Shmi, he condemns them for BEING TUSKENS based on what he says to Padme. They were Tusken, so they deserved to die. It's as simple and awful as that.

None of this is to say that what happened to Shmi was okay or anything, but Anakin's actions are equally contemptible. Anakin's actions aren't just borne from anger and pain, but also from racism he presumably ALREADY HAD prior to Shmi's death. And while the origin of those feelings is perhaps understandable given the environment he grew up in, that doesn't make it OKAY.

So sure, feel sympathetic towards Anakin, you're SUPPOSED to feel sympathetic towards Anakin, but, especially these days, you're supposed to feel sympathetic towards the Tuskens, too. What happened to Shmi was horrible and unfair and what happened to the rest of this village was also horrible and unfair. Neither side was necessarily "in the right" here, and when we condemn Anakin for the Tusken massacre, it doesn't mean we don't recognize that what happened to Shmi was terrible and inhumane or that Anakin's feelings about it weren't valid. It just means that his reaction to murder all of them is based at least in part in racism against the entire species and that's something that needs to be recognized as the horrific thing that it is. You can feel bad for Anakin's loss here and condemn what happened to Shmi and ALSO condemn what happened to the Tuskens as a result at the same time.

[mable-stitchpunk]

So hi, big fan of your work. Too few fics touch on like the whole possession aspect of FNAF, imo. Seriously I swear I’ve seen more time travel fix it fics than like ones that actually attempt to cover the whole ghost aspects of FNAF, which admittedly cannon is not helping.

Anyway, tangent aside, I wanna ask an odd question, both in fic(s) and or generally.

Remember how in like sister location where there was like those two technicians that were hung for no good reason? You know those very important characters that uhhh… got an all of an ‘ok’ from the fandom. Thoughts?

seriously can’t believe how much death matters so little in this franchise, where the main villain is like a mad scientist two kills people over remnant or whatever and yet we get absolutely nothing about his crimes. not even like a concrete number??? like c’mon? it’s like William someone Saturday morning cartoon villian and not an actual horror game villain, thou I suppose that would require Scott to you know write a character that isn’t like rambling about at this point arguably ‘supernatural’ gloop. Like c’mon, can we get more than like ‘I am so evil and smart’ out of William, please.

Sorry about the ramble I have thoughts

Oh, thank you so much! And glad to hear it! 8D I can get it though. Possession can be a whole lot to get into. I got lucky enough making a really insanely long fic, but if I would've stuck to only twelve chapters it would've been much harder to handle it.

Though I do LOVE handling it. My favorite part being able to deconstruct where characters end and where the person they used to be starts. There's just so many layers to it! Not to mention the supernatural aspect of how far you can push it.

I will... admit that I haven't thought much about those technicians, but largely because they weren't really given much to think on. XD SL was a pretty short game, but if it HAD been longer, it might've been cool to have more moments where you could overhear the technicians talking. It could've added more context to the situation in the facility and shown the distance and dissonance between Michael and his other workers- I.E. contextually show he's a loner or showing that he is purposefully distancing himself from his co-workers. Or just showing how poorly the whole thing is being managed.

Heck, there could've been a segment where Michael has a conversation over the radio with one of them- a one-sided conversation or recording- that could've also added story context.

I suppose that wasn't required, but it could've given then a little more.

However, I definitely feel there should've been at least one line from Baby that explained why they couldn't use their bodies. Because I've seen people questioning this, and while it could be as simple as 'they wouldn't fit' or more likely 'Baby was targeting who she thought was Afton', the game doesn't specify either.

Really a line such as "It can only be you" or "You are the only one who fits" could've gone a long way.

As for in Home, at least, I actually played around with the idea of bringing the technicians back as animatronics in the future... but then I thought it would be too much of a reach. So instead, we must settle on Michael Afton and that Body we found in the Vent.

...

...

...

And yeah, the death thing bothers me too. >.< BUT the death thing bothers me a lot more with the addition of Remnant not just being metal infused with souls, but also a God material that reanimates and replaces flesh and brings back the dead.

Death willy-nilly causes it to lose impact (Walking Dead lol), but introducing something that ERASES death is hands down the biggest way to lose all stakes in a story. It is a crime against writing, lol.

This might seem weird to say because of how death is treated in Home- where someone may die and become an animatronic- but there's both an absolute death, where one cannot return, AND when someone 'dies' and becomes an animatronic they still have to deal with very serious consequences. Their life is now completely changed; in a way, they have still lost that old life.

But with remnant, there is no drawbacks. There isn't a Death Becomes Her twist where the body still breaks down. As long as you're not made of scrap metal- in which case you just have to carry remnant (a material without a shelf life) around with you- it basically fixes you up like brand-new.

And the fact that it also erases the need for death to explain animatronic creation makes the whole system very wibbly-wobbly. Though I suppose we can take consolation in the fact that so far, remnants application in the games isn't nearly as severe.

...Err, sorry about the length of that. XD

[nem0-nee]

YES A FELLOW MCU OC!!!!!!!!! 🤔🤔 kinda gets me thinking how kairyn and cooper would interact 😳

still gotta develop cooper more but trust he’s just as chaotic and mean as rocket

ohmygod this took WAY longer than it should've been ;v; ty for being patient with me aaaaaaaaaaaaaa rip kairyn... she isn't exactly twisted from Strange, but she still has some of his elements.... a h a h a h a ;)))

"Cooper? Uhhh which one- Oh? The raccoon from Ignihyde? Eeeeuuuughhhhhhhhhh... He surely knows how to push someone's buttons, which is fitting for an Ignihyde student-"

"ANYWAY! I'd make sure to not get caught up with him. People who can't control their temper scare repulse me."

"Though... I don't really blame him for acting like that. I'm not elaborating on why. Now, shoo!! leave me be!!"

-KAIRYN MAYUU SAINT on Cooper Wilmot

Oh man... Mayuu's patience literally evaporates the moment he says something snarky. I'd say she has met him in past runs/timelines, and he's consistently the same mean dude. Somehow despite having repeatedly run into him, she just never gets the hang of his remarks ;v;

Who's this sassy lost child? - Her first impression of him was "WHY IS HE SO MEAN TO ME???" She still hasn't gotten used to his attitude despite everything. Yes... his rudeness is so spicy that even a time looper can't handle it. "It's like he gets meaner and meaner?!!?" Mayuu wept, finding solace in the Janitor's closet.

Now we're cookin' - Mayuu, for some wild ass reason, calls him raccacoonie. Wrong movie girl... wrong movie. She eagerly waits for the day he joins the Culinary Crucible program. "...Say Cooper, are we cookin'?" Mayuu's tone and face were deadpan, but internally she was snickering into oblivion.

We're not too different - She has some patience reserved whenever Cooper is around. Mayuu sort of sympathizes with him; she understands that his tumultuous past is... yeah. Though, she doesn't mention it to him. The last thing she wants is to make enemies due to her forbidden knowledge. "Tragic characters... If only I can undo the damage"

[niskoo]

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.