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bucksblr · 5 years ago

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plants, cry baby, and eyes!! 💓

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them

i feel like i’ve answered this one before, but i would love to go stargazing with @gentleyeol - we’ve known each other for almost four (five?) years now and she lives so so so close to me but our hectic schedules make it so impossible to ever meet up :( i’d love to spend just a couple days with her bc i’m sure they would be the best days of my life

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel

ohh this is a super interesting question!

130503 one direction ‘take me home’ tour in amsterdam - this was my very first concert ever, i was THE biggest one direction fan in 2013 (who wasn’t) and i absolutely bawled my eyes out when they first appeared on stage. trust me when i say 15 year old me is still crying about this

170806 megadeth, alice cooper and marilyn manson at the lokerse feesten in lokeren - so basically in early 2017, whilst also being a kpop fan, i was hugely into metal music and completely obsessed with metallica (kirk hammett is still my baby daddy okay) and when i saw the tickets for this metal day were only 50euros i called my friend and we agreed to go together and it was a wonderful evening (THE ALICE COOPER POINTED AT ME!!!!)

171129 ‘throwback thursday in het sportpladijs’ in antwerp - this concert was basically a celebration of 20 years of ketnet, which is a dutch children’s channel my generation grew up with, they invited all the singers from the children’s shows from the 2000s and the kids from eurosong for kids and i absolutely loved every single second of it because it brought me back to my childhood

180316 ‘harry styles live on tour’ in antwerp - ok SO i went to one direction’s concert in 2013 and this was the first time after i ever saw one of them back on stage and it gave me honest to god chills, the entire concert gave me such good vibes and i experienced it with some really good friends and we both cried when harry sang medicine, all in all 10/10 experience and i would definitely go to another concert of his

180430 niall horan ‘flicker’ world tour in brussels - CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE NIALL okay this entire evening was amazing, i study in brussels so it was easy for me to get to the venue and the vibe throughout the entire concert was hands down perfect, everybody was dancing to the upbeat songs and everybody cried during the slower songs, it was a one of a kind evening and i loved every single moment :(

180701 ed sheeran and anne marie at rock werchter in werchter - ok so there were a shit ton of people there to watch ed sheeran bc it was on a festival site and on a sunday so a lot of people could come, not to mention it was well above 30 degrees celsius that day and i sweated my ass off, BUT hearing him sing live was a gift in and of itself, his voice is truly something else and i knew the words to each and every song of his and i cried so hard when he started singing i see fire because i’m a huge tolkien fan and my friends thought i was v weird. and anne marie’s vocals were on point, girlie can sing like damn. also, getting home from werchter was total shit but the concert was 100% worth it.

181013 bts ‘love yourself’ world tour in amsterdam - here we are again at the ziggo dome, five years later. hands down my favorite. concert. ever. i remember waking up at ass o’clock in the morning because of nerves (trying not to wake the other ppl in the room bc my friend & i slept in a shitty hostel) so i spent the entire morning on twitter with major butterflies in my stomach because holy fucking shit after almost five years of stanning i was FINALLY GOING TO SEE BTS LIVE, so my friend woke up at 8:30 and then we got dressed and walked around the city center of amsterdam before getting breakfast at 10:30 and then we took the tram towards the ziggo dome and we were there by 12pm, which okay we had seated tickets so totally not necessary but anyways, we cringed a lot at v cringy armys, we saw a lot of armys with these cardboards that read “looking for tickets” and it nearly made me cry, walked around the interior design mall next door bc we had to kill time, went to the media markt and played a game and won a poster and a keychain, ate lunch in a place called booven, walked around some more before joining the queue at around 5:30pm. we were SO nervous. both of us talked w the armys in front and behind us, we made some friends, and then it was time for the security to check our tickets, we were both really scared that we wouldn’t be able to get in bc we both bought our tickets through resellers but everything went fine and once our bags were checked and we were really inside the venue we just started jumping around bc holy fucking shit it was gonna happen. it was really gonna happen fuuuck what the fuck okay. put our stuff in a locker and went to find our seats, went back to the hallways again to charge our phones, said goodbye abt 30mins before the concert started to go to our respective seats (not too far from each other luckily) and saw that there were like 7 front row seats still free. texted each other, “if 10mins before the show no one’s sitting there we will”, agreed and 10mins before the show moved to the front row. counted down. seven minutes. sang the songs. five minutes. screamed. two minutes. heart beating so wild. one minute. i’m about to fall out of my fucking chair. five. shaking. four. crying. three. about to die. two. screaming. one. music comes on and lights go down, i swear my heart stopped. everybody was screaming so loud and then suddenly they appeared on stage and it’s like the entire fucking universe has aligned bc my seven angels are RIGHT THERE i’ve never cried like that before i swear. the entire concert was just filled with so much love. them speaking dutch!!! them singing. them being them. me nearly fainting. it being so fucking hot inside the venue. the thrill of sharing that moment with thousands upon thousands of other armys. i just. miss it so much.

190301 a.c.e ‘to be an a.c.e’ world tour in brussels - i didn’t really know a.c.e all that well prior to the concert, i had heard of them and knew one of their songs cactus, so i researched and listened to most of their music and i was really impressed and the concert really helped to get me into them more bc they’re all so so so cute!! when i first started listening to their songs i liked byeongkwan best (he is now my bias) and during the concert, between their songs, i think donghun was talking and byeongkwan was looking in my general direction so i shoot him a finger heart and he saw and he smiled and HE SENT ME ONE BACK!!!! bro i legit died right. there. amazing concert, 11/10 would recommend

190601 bts ‘speak yourself’ world tour in london - no words. just. absolutely speechless. second time i saw bts, second time i was reduced to a crying mess. i love them. i love army. second best night of my life ever. dionysus live was amazing. i cried. yep. take me back. please

190616 eric nam in brussels - i don’t understand why i cry this much during concerts, i just do. eric was an absolute sweetheart. v funny. i had an amazing evening and would love to go to one of his concerts again!!

190907 seongri in brussels - ok so seongri is an idol who participated in produce 101 and is an ex-member of the group rainz which has disbanded, he is an absolute sweetheart and super tiny :( during the fansign i told him he was really pretty and he looked me straight in my eyes, took my hand and told me that i was more beautiful and i blushed super hard and almost fell off the stage. it was a real fun night! he has a great voice and wants to do a sexy concept in the future

upcoming concerts dreamcatcher & up10tion in brussels on 191005 and day6 in brussels on 200122 & halsey in antwerp on 200305, i’m super super excited for all of them!!

(none of the videos are mine)

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

@gentleyeol imagine going to korea together :(

aesthetic asks

#this took me a full hour #my fingers are numb #replies #1stlove

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tgr489 · 5 years ago

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Captain’s Log - stardate 30+30

Finally free of work, wahey! Spent the last week and a bit bummin’ around prepping for my road trip with the boys and tidying up a few things for my Haiti trip, which is all booked and I fly off on the 15th for a month.

Had leaving drinks from where I was working which turned into a full on sesh which saw me go awol for 3 days. Needed to say goodbye to those that I’ve worked closest with so we went to a local bar, where my plan was to stay for a couple then meet friends and go on to a gig, but it all changed as these things so often do. Started with a couple of glasses of fizz in the office. Not sure if this was a sad goodbye or whether they were glad to see the back of me, but as we were finishing up to leave for the bar I was asked again if I would consider a full time job, so I knew I’d done alright. Turned them down and went to the bar. People left, people came and the night ran away with me a little so arranged for my friend Jerome to come to me and he arrived about an hour later. I said my goodbyes to those left and we left, via the office to pick up some adapters I’d left behind. My friend thought it would be a good idea to do a couple of lines in the privacy of the space before we headed off to the club, which I had to agree with. He racked up a couple and as we were about to tuck in a voice said very casually, ‘I hope one of those is for me?’ Totally busted by one of the partners, who was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, with a look that I could only describe as XXXX. I was gobsmacked, thinking the office had been empty had been pretty stupid, people always worked late at that place. I brazenly replied with ‘of course, if you want?’ Jerome gave me this grave look but I knew we’d be OK, it’s not like I could lose my job or anything, and no one knew who he was. I could see her weighing this up, coming to her conclusion quick enough. ‘Sure, why not.’ And casually strolled over to the desk we were sat at. I’d not really taken much notice of Layla before, but I was forced to watch her make that walk and then conspire with us in committing a small misdemeanour, something that probably has way more consequences for her than me, or my slightly shady friend. She reached the table and taking the Jackson from Jerome, leave us a conspiratorial look at us both before knocking back one of the lines. I watched in awe. She was hot!! I did my quota, passing the baton back to my friend so he could complete the circle, but he had to rack up for himself. Layla asked if we wanted a drink. We were at cross purposes, I said yes, Jerome said we had to leave. She said we had time. We did so we he agreed to the drink. I watched her walk out of the room, so sassy in her stride, and the minute she was gone Jerome started cussing me, ‘let’s get the fuck outta here, she could be calling the cops.’ There was no way that was gonna happen now and I said he should rack up some more. He knew I was serious and gave a slow shake of his head as he got is bag out again. Layla returned with 3 glasses of generous measures of whisky, just my thing, and seeing my friend at work again said ‘you read my mind.’

We stayed for about 30mins, finishing our drinks and talking that engaging talk one does when the marching powder is coursing through the system. She asked our plans for the night, which we shared to her approval. I asked if she was gonna head back to the bar, to which she said she was planning to but felt like doing something else too. I could sense she wanted me to ask her to join us, so I did. We had guest list tix for our gig and getting any more was impossible, but we’d go on after and she was welcome to join. She said maybe and to message her with a venue. Jezza got up and said time to go. He was right we were late. As we were leaving Layla said that I should leave my bag behind and pick it up the following day so it didn’t get misplaced. This never happens to me, or not for a long time anyway, but I didn’t want to argue and not having to worry about my laptop and shit all night was a winner so I agreed. She said I could leave it in her office so we walked that way on our way to the lift. Jerome carried on walking once we got there and I walked in a dumped my stuff on one of her armchairs. When I turned Layla was right there in front of me and planted one of theee most sensuous kisses on me which lasted for ages and no time at all. I was about to say something, probably stupid, but she didn’t give me the chance and backed away enough to hold one of her biz cards up between us and said ‘Tell me where you’ll be. Now go catch your friend.’ ‘I will’ I said as I edged past her then ran to the lift to meet Jezza’s WTF stare and comments as we rode to the ground.

We ran to the club hoping to get a cab on the way, but those fuckers are slippery to pick up when you need them. We missed half the show but what we saw was pretty damn awesome, so it wasn’t all bad. Jezza had to ride uptown to make a delivery so I tagged along, deciding I’d catch up with Harv and see if my ex-boss was up for it, so I told her where to meet. We parted at the Door, me to go in, him to make house calls. I grabbed some fairy’s before he left and I went inside. Harv was playing so I killed time at the bar with a beer and pondered over the message I’d received back. ‘Be with you in a hour’ And was wondering if it was such a great idea after all. My conclusion was that even though I had no plan she obviously did so I’d run with whatever came along, how bad could it get. Harv finished his session and came over and took me to table where some of his mates were. There was booze a plenty on the table and there was a banger going around so I was immediately made to feel welcome. Before Layla turned up I got roped into driving out Albany way to pick up a new car with Harv this weekend, mini road trip style. I clocked her as soon as she walked in, even though she was dressed down in jeans, a black tee and superstars. Pretty different from her usual attire of Mui Mui and Prada type stuff. I went to meet her and bring her back to the table, had to pre-warn her on the way of the pretty obscene language that she’s be dealing with. ‘Not the kind of place I expected you to frequent’ was her only comment as we walked to the table. Oh how wrong she was, this is one of the places I love. A dark salubrious joint for people wanting to have a great time without being too hairy, plus it’s pretty relaxed about substance abuse if it’s kept cool. She was cool and even though she was pretty timid to begin with she made her presence felt with some adequately mean banter by closing, maybe some of that was down to the charles and fairy’s we took.

Jerome came back with Yohima, a friend of ours, as we were thinking of leaving for Harv’s, so we all took a slow walk in the morning sun back to his. And once there we shlumped down into his sofas and floor cushions with drinks and bangers. I was on a two seater with Layla, getting friendly with some chat. She was interesting to say the least. Partner in a successful agency, owned her own place in midtown, 41 and single and no intentions of settling down yet. I was amazed she was as old as that, she only looks about 35-36 I’d say. The product of a well looked after body. Shoulder length straight blonde hair, slightly tanned strangely dark blue eyes make up the package. It was nice coming down and sobering up listening to her story and telling her mine. We always really listen when we’re off our heads, and I find it’s when we’re most honest too. We ended up sleeping on the couch until the late afternoon to no one was around, so we decided to leave and head home, hers not mind. In the cab she said she had theatre plans and wanted me to go with her. She had invited someone else but would cancel him. Thought bad for that guy but not for long. Told her I’d have to go home and change clothes but she said no and that she had some suits that would fit me at hers. I didn’t ask how this came about. I was fine with with it, so we kissed the rest of the way to avoid any moody conversation, I thought. Her place was amazing and so spotless. It was a bit smaller than my place but only for her. I wondered how much stuff I would eventually accumulate if I had this much space at my disposal, was scary. She showed me the clothes and whoever this guy was he has very little style. Lots of labels but nothing complementary so there was only one thing that really worked which was a black Hugo Boss suit, which kinda fit and the trousers stayed up if I didn’t take my hands out the pockets. It worked, plus we’d be in a dark venue and sitting down so no issues really. In the cab I asked who’s threads I was wearing. ‘An old acquaintance, who never picked it up. I think he thinks he’s got a window of opportunity with me when he comes to collect.’ Had to wonder how many others were in that boat. I had to make sure I left with my clothes and leave these ones behind… Then I started to wonder how many guys left her place with other guys clothes, leaving theirs for the next. Would I see my Cash is King tee on some stranger one day. I joked with her about it as we walked into the theatre. ‘I only fuck off the ones that don’t live up to the benchmark. You’re doing OK at the moment’ was her comment as we sat down. Theatre was OK, some David Mamet style thing. Good story. Could’ve been executed better. We walked back to Layla’s getting an ice cream along the way, such a cliché… ‘Wanna go out some more?’ I asked as we got to her building. She didn’t but wanted food. We went to a local Italian which was pretty good. She was known by the staff so must frequent there with some degree of regularity. I had Tortellini, she had spaghetti Ragü. I made us order wine. This was the first serious one on one conversation we were gonna have so the alcohol would make it easier. She asked what I was up to and why I’d turn her company’s offer down. Told her my summer plans and that I like being my own boss, plus I don’t like too much long responsibility. I apologised for being so vague. The only way I can describe it is that I have great fun living the life I do doing what I want and whenever. When something comes along to seriously consider changing it I probably will. We were in dangerous ground as I started to think of last year and didn’t wanna go through that bullshit with someone I’d just met. I deflected and asked her what her opportunity would entice her into something else. ‘I have no idea’ she answered. ‘Like you, I live my life right now.’ She gave me a lovely big grin and said we should go because we were going to the gym in the morning. ‘Do you have a random guys�� gym wear too?’ ‘No you can wear some of mine.’ ‘Sure, but I only do pink tiger stripes.’ ‘You’re in luck, but if it’s too tight you can go naked, they don’t mind’ ‘that’s fine then’, was something like our banter went as I paid up. Back at hers we traded goods, hers some Grappa, mine a nice big banger. We lay on her couch, drank, smoked, made out and fell asleep.

I was a bit disoriented when I woke up, thought I was at mine as I could hear someone moving around the place. Started thinking about how I was gonna explain being naked on the couch with a stranger when this guy leaned right in my face and asked if I wanted a coffee. Scared the shit out of me! I said yes and then whispered to Layla ‘who is that?’ She mumbled ‘Carlo, housekeeper.’ My image of her housekeeper was thrown out the window. I pictured a plump middle aged woman, not some young androgynous person immaculately dressed. His coffee was good, which I drank without leaving the couch, watching him potter about with bags and dry cleaning and stuff. Layla got up and disappeared to her bedroom, coming back shortly afterwards dressed in gym gear. ‘You can hang out with Carlo or come with? I’ll be a few hours so your call. If you come we can grab you some gear from their shop.’ I wasn’t gonna sit around and get to know Carlo so I put the suit on and we went to the gym. I filled up the time pretty easily and did 30mins each on the rower, bike, running machine and pool, all very lacklustre. I killed the rest of the time in the steam room and sauna, joined by my host at the end of her classes. I was pretty much done by then, all the toxins from the previous days had been purged, but I toughed it out to stay with her. We tried to get it on in there but it wasn’t gonna be a success so we called it a day and went for showers followed by lunch. All healthy vegan stuff. Back to hers and Carlo was gone and my clothes had been laundered, such a star! Got changed out of the gym wear felt back to me. I wear suits but not for fun on a Saturday afternoon. Layla said her plans had been for friends to come over for dinner but she would change so we could do something. I said we can do stuff and then I’d leave so she can keep her plans but she said no, why don’t you stay for dinner? Hmm potential moody one I thought, under the spotlight somewhat. I’m not sure but I wanna hang out some more. Asked her what she was gonna cook, which was fish wrapped in pancetta. Carlo had already prepped it so an easy assemble at the right time. Only ice cream for dessert, boring. Said she should make something. She would not as baking was not her forte. Her excuse was rubbish and I told her, it’s all about practice, like everything that gets mastered. ‘We’ll make baked Alaska I said, it’s easy and impresses. We spent the remaining few hours just chilling out, listening to music and chatting. At 7 we had a sex break, not moving from the kitchen, then showered. Her guests arrived at 8.30, 4 chicks who were all a bit surprised to see me, but were accepting of my joining their gathering. Was a fun night in the end. It took me a while to weave myself into their convo but by the end of the night I think I did well enough. Dessert achieved the goals I said it would and the ladies were impressed. Everyone was gone by 3 and we went to bed and were asleep eventually by 5.

I woke following a weird dream, very ayahuasca type thing. It was early but I couldn’t get back to sleep so lay there thinking on things. I needed to go home to do some shit as I’d been missing for 3 days. Thought about taking Layla with me but knew that would side track me. I took a long look at her sleeping, she was very beautiful. What is she getting from this I wondered… I got up quietly and dressed. Leaving early was the best way. I wanted to see her again but couldn’t think about how soon. I took her a glass of ice water and sat on the bed beside her. She woke at my interruption and looked sad when she saw me dressed. ‘Are you going?’ I nodded yes and said I had things to do. I’ve had fun and want to do this again sometime. ‘Me too.’ She sighed. I ran my fingers through her hair and gave her a kiss, then left, putting a note on her counter next to her keys so she would easily find, simply saying call me if you want and left my number again. Will see if she’s keen. I walked home in the morning sun, that walk of shame, thinking of my weird dream and what it was trying to tell me, planes tied down on runways by spider webs but also plans in the sky with spider webs all over them. I put it behind me as I started thinking about the road trip I was meant to be taking soon. My bike has been garaged for over a year so will need a bit of TLC. That’s my plan for the week ahead. As I got in and started making coffee I realised I may see Layla sooner, my laptop was still in her office.

Later Gator

#boss #work affair #theatre #pasta #star trek #awol #gym #ex-boss #blonde #single #walking #thedoor #laptop #lines #cab ride #life story #life stories #life of riley

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dealersofatlanta · 6 years ago

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Part 1: Chapter 1

Year: May 10th 2006

(So everything happens fast because each chapter is leading up to present day) The story starts with Omari, Ace and Jade, they are not the only main characters throughout the story I will introduce the rest in total it should be 6 POVS this was really hard to write cause I have so many 1st chapter drafts. Idk if I wanted to do a book about the past or both)

Omari: age 21

“(Georgia), We on the grind in (Georgia), All the time it isn’t nothing on my mind but (Georgia) We ain’t playing with ya (Georgia)” Georgia by Ludacris played in my car as we rode through the west side. It was just me, my mama, and my brother. My daddy died when I was 7, my mom was still pregnant with my brother Ace. We live in the worst projects on our side of town Wood Ridge. Niggas always get killed and robbed over here. I pulled up at the Citgo, my brother Ace hopped out. “Yo wassup O” A nigga I knew named Shy. “Wazzam Shy” I said dapping him up. “You still looking for work?” He asked. I nodded. “Something like that, what’s up?” I asked. He pointed over to a man in a Hummer H2, with the windows down. Money in The Bank” By Lil Scrappy in his car. “Yo I heard about him, niggas scared of him” I said to him. He waved me over to follow him to the car. “What’s up D, this is O. He looking for a job” He told him. The light skin dude with tats on his neck looked over at me. He looked me over one good time before turning down his music. “You need money huh?” He asked. I looked around my surroundings. “Yeah, uh we bout to get evicted and shit, and My mama struggling right now” I told him. He nodded. “You got a phone?” He asked. I nodded pulling out my Nokia. He slid up my screen to get to the key pad. He then passed me my phone back. “Holla at me around 6pm and Ima make something shake for you” He told me before rolling up his window. I looked at the phone. I see the name Demetri in my phone. I was walking back to my car when I see Ace sitting on the hood of my car talking to some bitch. “Yeah, you fine as hell shawty, let you up sometime” He said. She blushed. “Aight, Ima give you my number but if you going to call, call at 9 pm that’s when my minutes is free” She said. He nodded and let her put her number in his Metro Phone. I slapped the back of his head. “Nigga get the fuck in my car and stop fucking with these hoes” I told him laughing at how mad he got. Ace had a bad temper. Mama say he get it from Our father. We pulled up and the apartments. Bitches was already fighting outside in the parking lot. “Beat her ass Kita” Her friend yelled. Ace squinted his eyes and his eyes got big, he hopped out the car and ran over to the girls fighting. It was his friend Jade. “Aye nah yall chill” He said pushing the girls off. He grabbed Jade. “Nah uh Ace that bitch deserve to get her ass beat for fucking my nigga” She yelled. Jade spit blood on her air forces. “Bitch I told you your man and I aint fuck, he tried to get in my pants and I said no” She stressed. I shook my head and walked into the house. My mama Traci was on the couch watching Maury. I kissed her on the cheek. “Hey mama” I said to her. She nodded. “Where’s Ace?” She asked. “He outside with Jade” I told her. She sucked her teeth in. “Her auntie been running her mouth about that girl, saying she be fucking the whole apartments” My mama told me. “Anyways, I got a job. I mean I think I got one” I told her. She smiled and looked over at me. “That’s good baby, what is it?” She asked. I shrugged. “I got to call and see” I said. She nodded. Ace busted in the house with Jade. “Aye, boy what is wrong with you coming in here like that!” Mama yelled. He grabbed Jade hand and brought her into the bathroom. My mama shook her head. I stood by the bathroom door. Ace was cleaning off Jade. She had blood coming out her nose and a cut near her eye brow, and her eye was swollen. “You need to learn how to fight and stop letting these hoes jump on you shawty, better start clocking them hoes with a motherfucking bottle or something” I told Jade. “I told her to start carrying a knife, so she can gut them hoes” Ace said. I shook my head. Nigga was ruthless for no reason. I walked into my room and went to my stereo. I went through my CD’s I burned. I put the cd in the player and pressed play. “Créme de la créme homie, Top Shelf ya know. I like my beat down low down low down low down low, I like my top led back led back led back” T.I - “Top Back” blasted through my speakers. I grabbed my car magazine, took a pen and begin circling the cars I planned on getting when I get some big money. My Nokia started ringing. I looked at my caller id, it was my little shawty Jalissa. “What up Girl?” I asked. I heard her giggle on the phone. “O, you busy later?” She asked. I sat up on my bed. “Nah, why what’s up you trying to kick it?” I asked. She hesitated. “Something like that, T.I movie ATL just came out and I want to know if you trying to see it with me, maybe at Starlight on Moreland it starts at 10:15pm?” She asked. I smiled, I knew what she was getting at. “Sure, Ima pull up around 9, maybe we can get some snacks and some shit” I told her. I could hear her smile through the phone. “Aight bet” I looked at the time. It was 5:57. I started dialing Demetri’s number. “Yo who is this?” He answered. “This O from the gas station, I asked you about a job” I said. “Aight Ima call you back”. He hung up. I then got a call from another phone number. “Hello?” I asked. “What’s up O, rule # 1 the feds always watching so never call me about business or call anyone on your actual phone, Ima give you a phone when I see you, meet me tomorrow @ 12pm Ima send you my address” He said then hung up.

Ace: age 15

“Why you let the hoes talk shit about you?” I asked her. She was sitting at my desk at my computer. She was adding music to her Myspace. “They say

He do a little this

He do a little that

He always in trouble (and I heard)

He ain’t nothin’ but a pimp

He’s done a lot of chicks

He’s always in the club (and they say)”

“So, what?” by Field Mob played from her page. She shrugged. “Nobody going to believe me anyways”. I looked over at her. “So, you don’t be fucking these niggas?” I asked. She turned and looked at me. “No, why would you even ask me that, them bitches be lying. Niggas always trying to get in my pants. Even grown ass men” She said looking at me like she regretted what she said. “Forget I said that” She said. “Why do you even care?”. I shrugged. “I mean, I don’t if you did but like you kind like my little sister so I want to know”. I said. She rolled her eyes. “Sister?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeah like I got to protect you, and shit” I said. She sucked her teeth in. “I don’t need your protection Ace, I can protect myself” She said. She got up and put on her shoes. “Well you the one always knocking on my window at damn random times of the night needing a place to sleep, like you ain’t got your own” I said to her. She pushed me out the way. I balled my fist up. I had a bad temper, and she knew it but when it came to her, I never showed her that side. “What you going to hit me?” She said she was holding back watery eyes. “Go ahead, I’m used to it” She said. I looked at her wondering who was hitting on her. Was she talking about fighting? “Thanks for having me over Ms. Traci” I heard her say before the door shut to the front door. I debated on going after her, but I didn’t. I looked through my contacts. I remember the girl from at the gas station. “Hey baby girl what’s up?” I asked. “Who is this?” She asked. “You forgot about me that fast baby, its Ace” I said. I heard her smile. “Ohhh yeah, Ace. You want to kick it right now? My mama ain’t home” She said. I got up slowly. “Oh, for real?” I asked. “Yeah, Ima send you my address. I live at the apartments right across from the gas station” She said. “Okay Ima slide through” I hung up the phone. “Hey mama I’ll be back Ima go to my friend Raheem house” I told her. She nodded. I went outside and started walking to the gas station it wasn’t too far from my house like a 30min walk. “Ace where you headed?” My homie Calvin said pulling up beside me. “To this bitch house” I told him. He nodded. “Get in folk, I take you” He said. I nodded. I looked at his outfit he had on all purple. “Where you headed looking like a got damn grape Fanta?” I asked. He laughed. “Man, this my colors” he said. “What you down or something?” I asked. He nodded “Yeah I’m down with Westside 5” He told me. I nodded. “Oh, for real, uh congrats I guess” I said laughing. He laughed. “Man, you goofy as fuck, but fuck with us though we always need new people” He told pulling into the apartments. I dapped him up as he stopped. “Thanks, Patna” He nodded. I walked up to shawty complex. Before I could even knock, she opened the door. She had nothing but a T-shirt on. “Took you long enough nigga” She said grabbing my shirt.

I pulled up my pants and buckled my belt. “So, my mama going to be gone, around this time every Friday” She said. I smiled and nodded. “What school you go to I ain’t never seen you around” I said. She smiled. “I go to Jefferson Highschool, what about you?” She asked. I started laughing. “How old you is?” I asked. She was putting on her bra. “17, how old are you?” She asked. I smiled big as fuck. “I’m 15” I told her. She shook her head. “Boy you look 18, dang you must be in what 8th grade?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeahh you can be my cuddy buddy, you ain’t old enough to be my man” She said. I sucked my teeth in. “I aint gon hold you I just wanted to fuck, but Ima fuck with you” I grabbed my phone and dipped. It was about 8:12 when I checked my phone. Shit I got to walk by the crackheads and the dope boys just to get home. “Aye yo little nigga you down?” Some nigga asked me as I walked by. “Down for what?” I asked. “I seen you riding with Cal, he one of us” They said. I noticed they had on purple. “Man, I ain’t trying to bang” I told them. “You see all the nice shit we got man we can get you some money for real nigga” I noticed the cars they were next to and shit. I nodded. “Okay what I got to do?” I asked. “This”. Next thing I know these niggas start beating my ass.

Jade: age 14

I was sitting on the stairway near our apartment writing music in my journal like I normally did listening to Ashanti and Lloyd “Southside” on my CD Player. “Jade get yo dumb ass in here” My aunt Felicia said. I sighed and walked inside. I closed the door and went into my room. “It’s almost the end of the school year. You got what 2 weeks left before summer vacation. It’s about time you get a damn job and start paying rent around here, you got to earn your keep. Ain’t bout to live up in here rent free” She said in the door way. I scoffed at her. “I’m 14, I can’t legally get a job until I’m 16 that’s not fair” I stressed. She put her finger in my face. “I started working for my foster mother at age 12, she used to sell me for $50, and I would get 10%. So, if I can do it so can you, and what the fuck happened to yo got damn face” She said. I looked at her. “I got into a fight with this girl” She shook her head. “What you do now fuck her man, you just like your mama” She said. I sighed. “No and Why didn’t you just let foster care take me!” I yelled. She grabbed my arm. “I did you a favor, Me and your mama bounced from foster care to foster care. She begged me to never let them take you, so I took you in after her stupid crack head ass ran off. That’s least I could do for her after she fucked my man and had you” She said. I started tearing up, I tried to snatch my arm away from her. She pushed me on to the bed. “Like I said you have 2 weeks or Ima let your ass go” She said. She slammed my door. I hated my life; my life didn’t used to be like this. I had two parents a mother and a father. My dad used to be there all the time and then one day he just wasn’t. My mama couldn’t take the pain of him leaving so she got hooked on drugs when I was 5. She been clean off and on when my dad was around but when he left it got worse. My aunt to eventually take me in before foster care put me in the system because My mama had left me in the house one day when her and her boyfriend James was cooking crack on the stove. My house caught on fire while I was sleep. I ain’t seen my mama since that day. I decided to write in my journal again, that was my haven, writing and listening to music. “My Life” By Mary J. Blige played on my stereo as I cried. My Aunt Felicia busted into my room. “Get yo ass up and come eat and stop blasting music in my house” She said. I wiped my tears and went to go sit down at the table. It was Kraft mac n cheese and hot dogs cut up in it. My Aunts boyfriend Rodney sat down with two bags of McDonalds and they started eating. My aunt either cooked me this or beanie weenies, Ramon noodles with hot dogs or sometimes just some bread and butter. I kept my head down while I ate my food. “Jade clean this shit up while I’m gone. I want all that food gone by the time I get home or Ima beat your ass” She said. I nodded. She went over to Rodney, practically sucking his face off before she left. He got up and locked the door. He pulled out an apple pie out his bag. “Got you something sweet, sweetness” He told me. He slid it to me. Rodney was always nice to me but I knew something about him wasn’t right. “Thanks” I said. He sat in the chair next to me. “You know you are very pretty” He told me. I nodded. I got up quickly, as he grabbed my arm back over to him. “I ain’t going to hurt you”. He said. “Sit on my lap” He said. “No!” I yelled as he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I got my arm lose and ran to my room. I closed my door and locked it. I grabbed some clothes put it in my school bag and slid my window open. Rodney burst into my room. I quickly jumped onto the ac unit under my window. I ran to the other side of the complex, I seen Niggas was playing dice in the stair way as I walked to Ace complex. “What’s good lil mama you tryna sell some ass?” I heard. I shook my head. I got to Ace building and walked to the side of it. I tapped on his window. I ain’t see no movement. I tapped again. “So, you back?” I heard a voice behind me. It was Ace. It was dark, so I couldn’t see his face very good. He came over to his window and did something to it and it slid open and climbed inside slowly. He was wincing like he was in pain. I followed him soon after. “If I ain’t home and you need a place to lay your head just lift up the screen and slide. O taught me that trick” He turned on his light and I see his face. He eye was swollen, and his lip was bug as hell. He was limping around. I walked over to him. “Ace you okay?” I asked. He nodded. “I’m part of Westside 5 now” He said smiling with his teeth bleeding. He held up a shirt and a bandana. I shook my head at him. “You stupid, you got jumped in?” I asked. He nodded. “Yeah but they make hella money” I kept shaking my head. “You stupid as hell Ace” I told him. He sucked his teeth in. “Why you over here anyways?” He asked. I shrugged. “Cause I hate it at my aunts house” I told him. “She be hitting you?” He asked. I shrugged. “Sometimes, she said I got to get a job soon” I said. “I think she want me to sell my ass” I told him. He was in his boxers looking at me. “She got me fucked up, I ain’t bout to let you do that. I got you man. I’m get you some money” He said. He threw me a shirt and some boxers. “Well maybe I can get jumped in” I said. He limped over to me grabbing me. “Don’t say shit like that” He said. We looked at each other for a minute. “I’m just playing sorry” I went into the bathroom in the hall way to change. When I came back in the room. Ace was icing his face. I shut the door and went to lay down on the bed. “As long as I’m here I got you J” He said. I nodded. I put my headphones on and listened to my cd I had burned. “Nobody going to love me better, I must stick with you forever, nobody going to take me higher, I must stick with you. You know how to appreciate me, I must stick with you my baby. Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick with you” I was feeling the lyrics of the Pussycat dolls. I started writing in my journal.

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igotlotsofeyes · 4 years ago

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25th August

Binge Free Days: 2/22

Intake:

Chicken Soup- 217

6 vita grain biscuits- 134

40grams cheese- 202

7 pieces coconut rough chocolate- 196

Exercise:

40min walk- 248

20min strength training- 104

30min cardio- 143

Calorie Total: 254cal

today started off ok and kinda went to shit as the day went on. got up and did some yoga (unsuccessfully as my dog decided she wanted to join in too 😑), then i cleaned up my room and watched friday the 13th part 2 and 3 while painting my nails cos i was really bored 🤷‍♀️thought it would make my fingers look slimmer but nope they still look like fat sausages 🙃

made some soup for lunch but went way over board with the crackers and cheese, i did not need that much and even though i felt so full after i was just dying for something sweet so i had some chocolate 😔

anyways, took the dogs for a walk with mum and idk what happened but i just felt so grumpy and frustrated when i got home everything was putting me on edge, and i almost didn’t do my other workouts but i know i’d feel even worse if i didn’t do them. i’m just so tired and over looking like this i just want things to hurry up and change, and then i get so worried that the impatience will just result in me giving up again...anyways phew this was way too long. night everyone

#daily intake

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wowzersmydude · 5 years ago

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Might actually use this blog again as a vent/diary thing? So to begin that; Here’s a bunch of fucking disgusting gross me being depressed and horrifically dysfunctional fuck;

I texted mom at like 8 last night asking if I could stay the night. I missed work with Sarah that day. I got up on time initially but I had only slept for 3 hours and I was really nauseous so I said hey let me sleep a little more and I’ll have mom pick me up and drop me off when she gets off work at like 11 (in like 2 hours). I woke up later (not on time for mom to pick me up. I had like 4 missed calls from her.) and realized I’d slept too late. Didn’t really care, sent a couple text messages and went back to sleep til like 4 or 5. The night before this, Sarah said she could get Vyvs. I gave her money for 3. Then she said, literally I quote, “if there’s a chance you could buy me one that’d be great” and I was like as long as you pay me back that’s totally cool, sorry I’m not trying to be a dick I just haven’t had money in so long and Im really hesitant to let go of any of it haha and she was like “I was just trying to get back the ones I’ve given you but ((ITS WHATEVER ILL JUST BORROW TWELVE DOLLARS FROM MY SISTER FUCK ME)) “ and I was like fucking Christ fine fucking shit dude fuck. Fuck.

ANYWAY. Also that day I couldn’t drink anything cold without it really really hurting my teeth. My teeth still really hurt with anything cold all day today too. the night I texted mom, Adrian came and picked me and Chevy up. I dropped off rags to Sarah and grabbed vyvs. Got to moms, tried to take Chevy inside, she tried to piddle on the floor so I took her back outside and ate my chips by the fire that was going. Mom was outside with me a bit and only gave me a small talk about “why did you need to come over? If you’re having such problems with anxiety then why aren’t you doing something about that. You need to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah amd get your shit together for fucks sake. You gonna actually go to bed soon?” I went to bed like 30min after going inside, slept until 6:30, took Chevy outside, saw the mama raccoon in the tree behind the house, came back inside and went back to sleep until mom woke me up at 10, and then 10:15, and then 10:30 and I got up a little after 10:30ish. Took Chevy out and we walked around the yard a lot? It was super sunny and hot, we stayed out for a few hours then I took Chevy in and I came out and pulled weeds with mom and then just wamdered around for a bit. I told Maleah to come be social downstairs, went back outside a little bit, then went inside and asked Maleah if she was hungry. She said she wanted a baked potato and an egg and a piece of bread. So I made that for her. I asked Tom specifically if it was okay to use the smiley face plate, he said that’s fine. By the time it was done in the microwave, the plate was really cracked 😅 I asked mom if she wanted a couple eggs she was like yeah. I looked in the fridge and I saw mushrooms and I was like do you want some sautéed mushrooms with it and she said yeah totally and then I saw the spinach and cheese and I was like mom...U want an omelette? And she was like heck yeah so I whisked 2 eggs and went to make hers and I put too much stuff in it and it ended up really ugly so I was like uh, I’ll eat this one lol. So I tried harder to put a little less stuff in and make it neater and whisked 2 more eggs and made another one and it came out super neat and pretty so I gave that one to mom and wow I am very suddenly just now very spinny fuck me I just want to die fucking fuck fuck fucking just kill me please. Fuck. I made mom mae and me brunch. It was nice. I was hot outside and wanted to get a little more skin in the sun so I asked Adrian for some shorts and he gave me a pair. Bethany and Tara were there too. I put on some sunscreen and it smelled really good and I feel like I haven’t smelled sunscreen in like 3 years. I wandered around outside for another hour or two and then Sarah and dickfuck dropped off Wyatt. I texted Keith a little before and I said we should get boba and go to the beeeeaach and he said yeah so I talked to Adrian and Tom about takin me home. Artisan said he’d take me cause I thought Tom wouldn’t be leaving until later, but Tom ended up leaving a lot sooner than he thought so he said he could take me. Him, Conner, Maleah, Chevy and I left. I got home, and was gonna hurry up and get ready to go with Keith but the cats are horrible and the house felt fucking horrible as fuck so I cleaned the kitchen and the litter and the living room floor, and Keith showed up just after I was trying to get dressed after I took a rinse shower. He was like yeah of course you’re not ready. I even gave you a bunch of extra time. I was like yeah the kitchen in particular was just awful I couldn’t take it anymore. He asked if mom came in and bullied me about it I said no mom wasn’t even in here. He was surprised. I changed clothes a couple times, put some makeup on, and we got going. I wore the gray strappy tank top, the black shorts that I chopped myself that are super short, and dark gray thigh highs and gray n black nikes. And the light pink jacket. I took too long so we could too long so we couldn’t go to Andoras. As soon as we hit peach st. I googled where I could get some boba and called Thai eatery and they were lk

Tumblr is being fucking dumb just let me type out my shit okay??? Okay!!! Like hell yeah I got a Thai tea w boba it was really really good!! We went to wegmans. Had a good lighthearted time in the car on the way there. Got groceries and wine. I had suggested we stop at the adult store for fun and to get lube. Keith said “I’m tired let’s just go home.” I got really disappointed and sad on the way home. He was like “I’m sorry babe I’m just tired. What did you want to get?” Just lube. “You could try ordering it online? I’m sorry babe yknow we already know what they have there” and I got really fucking sad and just was neutral on the way home and after he got home I texted him a bunch of suicidal shit that I should have just fucking kept to myself but I couldn’t keep “would you be sad if I died” out of my head I just really wanted to ask him, I honestly wasn’t sure what he’d say. I guess he actually cares a little bit about me now cause he was all like offended when I assumed he wouldn’t rly care.

(By the way I’m drinking wine + sake rn I feel like I’m gonna throw up probably. I don’t even care. I’ll fall asleep on the bathroom floor.) (I’m also intermiddently beating my knees with an empty glass bottle and it feels fucking satisfying. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to cut myself any more, my last cuts are just healing. If it were up to me I would die as soon as fucking possible, not just drink and cut myself, but, fuck me, right? Atm I Just want to start walking and not stop. I want to drive more than anything. I just want to drive. I just want to go for a drive. Fuck I didn’t cry while typing any of this until now. I just: want. To fucking drive. I want my car. Fuck everything. I want to die. I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die.

I’ve been typing for like over 2hrs on and off I’m done I can’t keep this train of though anymore bye wish me luck killing myself bye

#tumblr is fckin dumb this layout is weird ad #af #i think im drunk but i Just feel numb #Kill me #kill me #diary #2020 #may 2020

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karenemilne · 5 years ago

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Anti-chafe bands are the future.

Hello everyone! Happy Sunday and happy summer hols for the teachers out there- we made it!! As promised, here is the monthly blog!! My last blog was 5 weeks ago and in that time I have lost just over 4lbs. Now if I’m honest, I am pretty certain those 4lbs are back on after Germany, but I have absolutely no regrets or hang-ups about that as for me, the whole point in working out and making targets is so that I can enjoy myself guilt free when I have the opportunity (and I can confirm, the beer/ice cream/chips were most certainly guilt free!!!). 4lbs in 5 weeks also isn’t the most impressive weight loss but I’m at a point where my weight has plateaued. For the first few weeks I really struggled to shift my weight below 69kg and I found it quite difficult to motivate myself when I felt like I was working my arse off but not getting the results. I think at this point it would probably be quite easy to give up and have a ‘what’s the point’ attitude but I couldn’t let myself down (or you guys) and I decided to try to change my routine slightly to reach my target. In the last couple of weeks before the final weigh in, I increased the number of workouts and cut out the level of binge eating. I certainly don’t mean I cut out cheat meals (never!) but I tried to binge slightly less and for the last couple of weeks in June I cut out alcohol (yes you have read that correct. Karen Strongbow Milne, cut out alcohol). If I’m honest, this month has been pretty hard going but see the feeling I had when I stepped on the scales and saw I had reached my main target- it was the best feeling ever and made it all worth it. In my first blog I wrote that I wanted to get down 10kg by the summer hols and with hard work and dedication (copyright, Mayweather) I achieved that, weighing in at 67.15! I’ve made the decision to not weigh myself this week (or probably for the foreseeable future) until I’ve given myself time to lose what I will gain during my holidays.

So, similar to the last blog, I am not going to go through every day for the last 5 weeks as this blog will become the size of a dissertation and ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’.

Week 1- I had a bit of a mixed week this week. I worked out 4 times during the week but also ate more than usual for someone on a ‘diet’. This week I tried to vary my exercises at the gym so that I wasn’t just sticking to the one routine and getting bored or used to it. I still swear by red-zone running- follow them on Instagram! I switch between long endurance runs and sprinting sessions and each run involves interval training, which has definitely improved my speed and endurance, especially when I’m running outside. In fact, this week I managed to run my fastest 5k under 30mins! Usually when I am at the gym I do all my cardio first and then do weights, but a couple of times this week I did a 5min warm up jog, moved onto weights and then finished on a 20min run when my body was already tired which meant I had to work harder- this is shit at the time but makes you leave feeling gassed and like you’ve pushed your body to it’s limits. This week I also did more weights and started using the free bar to do squats (I am shit at this)! Now that all sounds very positive but here’s the not so healthy part. I had a midweek Chinese, many cans of strongbow on the Saturday night and then a takeaway in the small hours to prevent a strongbow hangover (that’s my excuse anyway!). I also patched a boxing workout because I got home from work and it was raining/windy outside and once I was in I couldn’t face leaving the house again- we’ve all been there!! So yeah, a mixed week, so mixed that I actually gained 1lbs- oops!

Week 2- Another not so great week (and I wonder why I plateaued). I actually had a very busy week at work with two late night events so I struggled to fit as many workouts in. Yes, I could have found the time and if I wanted to I would have, but sometimes you just have to be honest and say ‘I can’t be arsed’. It’s not a crime!! I did go to the gym a couple of times this week and as well as my usual running workouts, I included kettle bell circuits, deadlifts and rowing intervals. Now the main achievement of this week was the run I completed on the Sunday. This week I signed up for the Glasgow half marathon and I asked Ross to take me out on a long run to prove to myself that I could do it. I managed to run 12.1 miles without walking at all!! Now I could lie and say this was easy but the full thing fucking sucked. About 5km in I realised that my toes were rubbing together and to be honest, I probably should have stopped to readjust them but I knew the only way I would survive this run was if I kept going no matter what happened. By the 10km part I already felt very tired and found this run really mentally draining, as I knew that the next half of the run would be harder as I still had two big hills to face. Now I don’t normally believe in miracles but mid-run I found £1 in my pocket, which Ross took from me and ran ahead to buy a bottle of water. I honestly don’t think I’d have completed this run if it wasn’t for that bottle! Around the 17km mark I reached the biggest hill of the run. At this point I was gubbed. My legs were hardly lifting and honestly, I had a total breakdown. I burst into tears which was the worst idea as then my throat got blocked and then I couldn’t get my breath back- all in all, I was an absolute riot. BUT, I persevered and made it to the end (and then cried another 2 times because I was so proud of myself!). As much as this run SUCKED, it has made me feel a lot more confident about the half marathon as I think I’ll be able to manage it!! On a side note- HOW does anyone complete a full marathon?! How!! I couldn’t imagine being able to double that run. I don’t think I’d have toes left!!! At the end of this week I was back down to 69 meaning I’d lost the pound I had gained, but was still sitting around the same weight (frustrating but deserved)!

Week 3- There are no words to explain the PAIN I felt on Monday morning. I was walking around school like I’d shit my pants, I couldn’t stand up without making a noise that sounded like I was dying inside, I had to wear sandals to prevent squishing the 5 blisters I had under my toes and my hair was such a riot (as I was too tired to do it the day before) that a child asked me at 1pm if I ‘was just out my bed’. Good times! I had to take Monday off to recover but I actually felt okay by Tuesday! I went to the gym 4 times this week but avoided outdoor running to help my legs recover. At the beginning of the week, I also replaced running with walking fast up a steep incline on the treadmill and focused on arm weights instead of legs. One thing that really helped me diet/exercise this week was that when I did my weekly meal planning, I planned that I was getting an Indian at the weekend. This meant that those times when I couldn’t be arsed working out, I thought to myself ‘push yourself and think of how much you’ll have earned that takeaway’ and it worked for me (and my god was the Indian worth it!!). By the end of this week (before the Indian) I weighed in at 67.45 (21.5lbs down and 0.5lbs away from target!).

Week 4- I was really strict with myself this week as my final weigh in was on the Saturday. I stuck to cornflakes/porridge for breakfast, my really boring, dressing-free salads for lunch, and a healthy meal at night with no snacks in between and honestly, depriving myself of snacks made this week so much harder, but I knew it had to be done if I wanted to reach my goal! Again, I had quite a busy week at school, but this time instead of allowing that to be a barrier, I made time to exercise no matter how short a workout it was. On days where I was busy I did a 20mins Joe Wicks full body workout to get a sweat up and burn some calories. I also went out for a run between work and an evening event and as much as I couldn’t be arsed at the time, I’m so glad I did as I achieved a new 10K PB of under 1:05!! Although it meant that I was exhausted later that night, knowing I had done another workout made me feel better. I also LOVE running in the morning (as long as it’s a nice day!). As much as it is the worst feeling when the alarm goes off at 5:30, it is so worth it to know that at the end of your working day you can go home and relax completely guilt free!! On Friday night, Ross and I went to Aileen and Sinkies where we would normally get a takeaway and have hunners of bevy but this time round Sinkie cooked a healthy meal and I stayed alcohol free to help cross the finish line the next day! By the Friday I would have loved a prosecco/cider/gin/anything but I knew deep down if I had a drink I wouldn’t make my target in the morning so staying sober was worth it (on this one occasion!). By the end of this week I reached my target and weighed in over 10kg down and sitting at 67.15- unreal! Can’t quite believe I managed it!!

Week 5- This week I was away in Germany on a music trip with the school. What a week!! And it is safe to say all healthy eating went straight out the window (and not a single fuck was given!). I ate crisps, chips, ice cream, German sausages, developed a new love for German beer and do you know the best thing about it all? I didn’t feel slightly guilty at all. I felt like I had earned it. I knew I would gain weight and feel bloated but because I had already lost weight, I didn’t feel worried or self-conscious about a wee flab roll or two! Similar to the week before, although I was on a school trip, I made time to exercise (with a lot of help from Paul and Elaine). I went for 2 early morning runs along the Rhine in Boppard and although the runs were difficult as it was 24 degrees at 6:30am, the views made it so worth it!! I also took 10 children down to the Rhine to do a 6am HIIT workout one morning, which was actually a lot of fun and they seemed to get a lot out of it too (even though they couldn’t walk the next morning)! On a side note- everyone with a thick thigh needs to buy anti-chafe bands. Absolute game changer!!! Even when I was a size 8 (a long ass time ago) my legs have always chafed! The bands I got were £3 from Sainsburys (online) and it just made the whole holiday more enjoyable as I didn’t have to worry about the dreaded rash. I don’t care if talking about this makes people think I’ve got tree trunks, I had tree trunks which didn’t rub for once and that was fabulous!!! Since I’ve been home I’ve been to the gym a couple of times and will continue to hammer it until Ross and I go to Greece on Tuesday, and who knows, maybe I’ll even go for a morning run there!!

So there you go! That has been my breakdown of the month of June! Reached a big target, signed up for a half marathon and discovered a love for beer- what a month! In July, I have two big holidays where again I will be eating and drinking what I want but isn’t that why we workout? To feel good and enjoy ourselves guilt free? That’s certainly why I’m doing it (and to resemble a bowling ball less than before)! One last thing I’ll say in this blog- I only have one big regret since I’ve started this ‘journey’. I never took a ‘before’ photo because at that time I was disgusted looking at myself in the mirror and couldn’t face coming across a photo of myself looking like that, but now that I’ve lost weight, I wish I had a comparison photo to see how far I’ve come! People always say to me that they can see a big difference, but I just wish I could see it as much too!! So, if you are reading this and thinking you’re going to start, no matter how much you hate how the photo looks, take that picture!! You’ll regret it if you don’t!! Thank you for reading and I’ll be back in a month! X

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