#anyway this script saved my life and i need to remember to do this with every big project i do

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[juyendraws]

[Limbus Company] Faust’s Development (or Lack Thereof) in Intervallo 6.5

So Murder on the WARP Express came out and uh… The suspicions I had regarding Faust’s future arc ended up being confirmed. Faust is definitely not reaching out to the truth. I didn't expect the seeds for her story to be planted so soon, but here we are. It’s real. And you're probably thinking, “Uh… WTF are you talking about?” Let me explain to you what I mean.

The message of Library of Ruina is a critical part to understanding what's going on in Limbus Company. I will tell you straight-up here and now, absolutely nobody in the fanbase knows what the hell LoR is actually about. Nobody. And it is such a shame, because it has such a great message that absolutely nobody talks about. I'd love to tell you much more about it, but that involves long explications on Jungian Psychology, the Jewish Kabbalistic Tree of Life, and the story itself, which I don't wanna subject you to yet (I am saving my esoteric lore dumping for the video scripts I’m currently working on). What I will tell you, however, is that the lessons learned by Angela and Roland in LoR are all about opening oneself to everything that is possible in life. The ways in which they do this are:

(1) To listen to one's inner world, or intuition. Don’t just blindly believe whatever someone else says. Follow your own inner voice. 

(2) To listen to one's outer world, or reason. Don't just believe whatever you want to believe. Look at the facts and be receptive to others' opinions. 

That's all you need to know for now about this particular subject. The theme of opening oneself to infinite possibilities is one that carries over from LoR to Limbus Company, and it is present in every Sinners' story. Literally all of them were/are limiting themselves in one way or another due to their flawed beliefs. And each of them is on their own journey of self-realization, or in Jungian terms, “individuation.”

The Mirror Worlds also expand on this theme. They provide infinite ways of looking at the same subject, which sounds wondrous and exciting at first, but it really just reflects what's already there. Remember Yi Sang's and Heathcliff's arcs? For Yi Sang, the Mirror reflected his already-existing potential, while for Heathcliff, the Mirror reflected his surrender to a perceived fate. Mirror World Identities may offer additional combat prowess as well as insight into the characters/worldbuilding, but they end up being quite limiting due to their usage (basically “cheating”) and very nature (as "reflections"). 

Moreover, Goethe's Faust was something that repeatedly showed up in my research on Jungian Psychology. I kept finding Faust's story referenced in articles, academic journals, as well as the book I'm currently reading called Man and His Symbols. This book was written by Carl G. Jung and some of his most trusted followers, and it legitimately explains what Project Moon's mindset was while forming the world and stories of their games (I am not even exaggerating. I have to constantly pause my audiobook and write down notes on what I'd just read because it keeps indirectly revealing PM’s intentions for the series). Anyway, in one of Joseph L. Henderson's chapters named “Heroes and Hero Makers,” he talks about how the archetype of the hero cycle is represented in many stories. An aspect of this archetype essentially revolves around the “hero vs. villain,” or in Jungian terms, the “ego vs. shadow.” The hero must face off against the dragon and triumph. It’s about the development of consciousness through the "ego" (awareness that one exists and has an identity) mastering and assimilating the "shadow" (the parts about ourselves we don’t like or don’t acknowledge deep down). This archetype exemplifies the stage that’s supposed to take place during childhood and adolescence—it’s about growing up. If the hero fails to slay the dragon, i.e. a person fails to assimilate their shadow into their psyche, they become stuck in this state of immaturity. Henderson uses Faust as an example:

“One can see this theme, incidentally, in a well-known literary hero figure—Goethe’s character of Faust. In accepting the wager of Mephistopheles, Faust put himself in the power of a “shadow” figure that Goethe describes as “part of that power which, willing evil, finds the good.” Like the man whose dream I have been discussing, Faust had failed to live out to the full an important part of his early life. He was, accordingly, an unreal or incomplete person who lost himself in a fruitless quest for metaphysical goals that failed to materialize. He was still unwilling to accept life’s challenge to live both the good and the bad” (Man and His Symbols, page 121). 

Henderson is saying that Faust is reluctant to face life’s hardships, so he lets his unconscious aspects—his shadow, or Mephistophiles—control what he does because it’s easier for him to live that way. And as a result, he remains this underdeveloped, immature person. 

In Limbus, Faust’s shadow is Mephistophiles, the reflection of her inner pride and desire to learn more. The knowledge she gains from the bus, her ability to communicate with her IDs, is incapacitating her ability to develop as a person. She’s using it as a crutch. And her overreliance on this knowledge, ironically, reveals how truly ignorant she is. The literal shadow cast in Faust’s E.G.O is her IDs for these very reasons—she is afraid of not knowing what to do.

Anyway, the reason I brought up LoR’s message and the Mirror Worlds earlier is because it is very, VERY relevant to Faust’s arc. Each of the Sinners need to reach out to all the possibilities of life. To not just blindly follow their own beliefs or the beliefs of others, but to see the truth through their own eyes, unclouded by bias. Through her use of the Mirror Worlds, Faust goes, “Well, I’m already reaching out to all possibilities! I’m following my intuition and using reason!” And she technically is, but it’s paradoxical. She is using intuition and reason… But it’s all through the use of her IDs, which are both “herself” and “not herself” at the same time. So she’s still just blindly following her own beliefs and the beliefs of others; she’s only listening to her own opinions and copying down what others say to her, all at the same time. 

I noticed this while rereading key parts of the game again. In Episode 6-25, the Sinners discover the researchers’ experiments below Wuthering Heights. Faust was utterly oblivious as to what their goals were, and Dante commented on how odd her behavior was when she finally started talking.

Later in Episode 6-44, she urges them to find out who informed Erlking Heathcliff about the Mirror Worlds, causing them to pick up on the fact that she doesn’t actually know everything.

In Episode 2 of the 3rd Walpurgis Night, Faust freezes up when asked by Dante to give a more detailed explanation on the Library. She then gives soft confirmation that she is, indeed, in cahoots with her IDs.

Murder on the WARP Express spilled everything. As a result of being separated from Mephistopheles, she is forced to be without her IDs and must figure things out on by herself. Her complete cluelessness regarding what to do demonstrates her lack of any true life experience. She acts like a newborn baby attempting to walk. However, while she is clueless, she is not helpless. She, in fact, does have the potential to grow if she puts her mind to it. Faust exhibits curiosity, ingenuity, and amiability when she must undergo the trials of the WARP train incident.

She takes interest in the perspectives of the other Sinners when asking for help. She is able to discover new things and problem-solve by herself.

Faust can learn on her own and make friends if she really wanted to.

...Unfortunately, she falls back to her dependency on Mephistopheles at the end of the story and closes herself off once again.

Faust refuses to experience any pain that could otherwise spark a realization about herself. She is harming her ability to form relationships with others, as she habitually ignores them or prevents them from giving her advice. She actively denies herself the chance to truly learn about the world and come to her own conclusions—she is impeding her own personal growth. 

Out of all the Sinners, Faust is probably the least developed as a person. Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff—even those who are about to undergo or are still undergoing their arcs such as Don Quixote, Rodion, or Meursault—are fully-formed people. Faust is not. She is still stuck at the stage of having evolved ego-consciousness while everyone else around her is already achieving the Self. She's worryingly far behind. It’s honestly really sad to watch. 

I was debating on whether or not I should make this post for a few reasons. For one, I’m unable to read Goethe’s Faust at the moment, as I am still preoccupied with my research on Jungian Psychology and Jewish Mysticism for the previous two PM games (Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina). I didn’t want to say anything too specific about Faust’s story until I read her book. Secondly, this topic is really difficult to explain without delving into the Jungian elements in the PM universe. I felt I would end up confusing people if I just came out of nowhere with this post; I initially wanted to speak more about the foundational elements before anything else. 

Nevertheless, I feel that this knowledge I had on Faust, Jung, and PM’s lore was relevant enough to share. I was SHOCKED at how accurately I had predicted Faust’s future character development. The only other person I told this to was my younger sister, and I said, “Faust basically found a loophole through the lessons Angela and Roland learned in LoR. She’s only believing whatever she wants to believe, while also only believing what other people tell her. She’s using Mephi and her IDs as a crutch… I think that’s why she’s alone a lot of the time.” AND I ENDED UP BEING RIGHT. I had to stand up multiple times while playing through the Intervallo with my sister because of how excited I was at this. 

Murder on the WARP Express demonstrates that a good understanding of the games’ themes and of Jungian literary analysis is absolutely essential to figuring out each Sinners’ arc in Limbus. Deciphering, for example, the specifics of Faust’s connection with Gesellschaft is not-so-much valuable as having a strong grasp on what aspects of her character PM is trying to explore. “What is the text communicating? How does it relate to Jung’s ideas? What is the lesson this character is meant to learn?”

That is what matters at the end of the day. 

[erensfeed]

OKAY BUT.

I woke up this morning with like, a flashing need to send you an ask about your LADS Actor AU, which sometimes just consumes my thoughts at random times.

👁️ But the boys recording the MYTHS.

Angst CENTRAL ANGST.

I just remembered the last update where they were doing Caleb's death (haha temporary of course, he's just taking a break) and she's acting out how she passes out and he pops up next to her like, why so sad?

And like... Recording the HEART BREAKING bits of their myths?

Spoilers ahead in case you HAVEN'T seen them all, won't go into detail but...

Dying in Xavier's arms? Forseer Zayne reading her fate and giving up everything for her? Rafayel having to chose between her life and his people's?

Whatever the fuck Sylus has got goin on? With the whole stabbing in the chest?

I was just consumed by the thought of them having to get into that headspace before the scene, having to pretend to see her die or hurt or knowing they won't see her again, when it's fake.

The aftermath of it too, getting out of that, maybe they're all whipped (yes) and just need a good hug and to ground themselves. Method acting you know...

Anyway 👁️ I've ranted enough 👁️

Thank you for reading through this whole ass paragraph, hope your day is wonderful!

content: how i imagine they’d be as actors when filming their myths. * some minor spoilers from me on xavier as well ! * ૮ ˶ᵔ ~ ᵔ˶ ა

you literally have no clue how i literally love you for still thinking ab those silly hcs😭 THANK YOU THANK U THANK UUU !! AND STOP BC THIS IDEA??? ate down.

cause omg they’d literally be love interests who grew head over heels in love with the main co-star in a fr deep(ressive) story. and it’s like gawd. what a life they’d come to lead if they really were actors then LMAOO

but anyway ! they would be told and agree (months prior), that method acting would be the best thing when filming each of their intense myths. and i know for a fact that rafayel would be the one waayyy too into that method acting stuff because it’d all end up feeling really personal.

‘i can totally work with this’ were the exact words that came from him as you watched and listened to him, munching on his box of donuts (this was a habit between you two — going over to the other’s trailer to snack on whatever the other got to eat). not to mention the times he’d re-read his copy of the script analysis for the nth time / before main rehearsals, and how he’d be all “pft, i wonder why [main director’s name] thinks acting all of this would ever even get to me”. and that never aged well at ALL because he ended up being more attached to it than he expected, as his natural reactions were already in tune with his lemurian character anyway.

but anyway during the era of, rafayel would suddenly stay to himself a little more / even got confused on his real feelings for you (?). and of course he’d recognize that and try to keep things professional, but he would also catch himself sometimes looking at or treating you like mc. and it’s like oh ! all this because he somehow tied everything to your irl friendship / dynamic ??? LOL

but anyway much like rafayel, xavier would also see you as the mc. just in a different way of course. cause it doesn’t help that you just so happen to naturally act like the mc, even off camera.

now when acting the real deal of his myth — when you lay lifeless in his arms — he would imagine that you really were the mc, keeping his head down as the feeling of the idea of holding the one he loved but couldn’t save hit him. his eyes would also be vacant during this scene, especially as he held the star tassel, the weight of it feeling heavier as he envisioned you giving it to him before dying.

in this same scene where he had to hold one of your limp hands in his, it actually felt colder. this didn’t show in the final take because xavier acts so authentically, but it did catch him off guard — as no one told him your hands would actually have to be cold for the real scene. and that made the moment feel even more real and intensified this ache in his chest at the thought of losing you. (lolol ofc the directors kept that because gawd everything was so realistic)

he’d tell himself it was just that scene that got to him but he’d eventually grow to randomly start reaching out to hold your hand in his more often, just to feel its warmth.

stop im giggling now bc im abt to go read smth angsty w xavier

moving on though ! zayne and his foreseer myth? especially dawnbreaker?? .. let me not go there bc this would be longer than needed. though i will say that zayne hadn’t planned on being “affected”. but he would quietly start to observe you more, as his way of not directly discussing his emotions. (this was also what prompted him to be quick to protect you on set)

in conclusion. rafayel as an actor, who has the biggest soft spot for you, would pull back just a little while in that headspace. quietly growing to wonder if you’d also forget him & all the moments you shared, once love and deepspace was over. and he would also start joking about his feelings more to mask them during that time. xavier, on the other hand, would develop a habit of finding lame excuses to have your hand in his whenever you were together, since feeling your cold hands that day did actually do something to him. zayne wouldn’t want to admit how it actually affected him but he would eventually be vulnerable about it with only you. lastly and not surprisingly enough, sylus would remain the only sane one regarding his character's darker lore LMAOO. so i’ll just leave that there (until his myth comes out).

but even though their well hidden feelings for you complicated things, they were great actors so it wouldn’t really affect them terribly for long, as they had ways to separate their personal lives from their roles by all the way you’d comfort them after you found out.

a/n: THIS WAS SO FUN & FUNNY TO ADD ONTO. althoughhh i personally don’t feel like this is 100% spot on & tied to the (1st) actor au hcs, as it’s just some ways i think they’d react but that could just be bc i wrote this in one sitting. didn’t also plan on talking that much and ab my glorious 6ft prince rafayel either but anyway thank yeww for this pooks. (also, im giving you a moon emoji for all our next discussions bc i look forward to them🙂‍↕️ )

[aamy2100982]

My thoughts on Venom 3. SPOILER ALERT - LONG POST

Let's start with the fact that I saw it in the cinema with Latino Spanish dubbing, so anything lost through translation is not my fault.

Damn, how do I start with all this?

☆ Why doesn't Spiderman appear?

I think based on the post-credits scene of Venom 2, we all assumed that in this new movie Venom and Eddie were going to go into the MCU universe and meet Spider-Man. But for those who saw the movie it was confirmed that that wasn't the case. Now, what's my theory on what happened?

I think the original intention was to give the rights to Venom to the MCU, but for some reason or another they didn't do it. And they decided to continue the story from Sony.

So Venom didn't meet Spiderman because the MCU doesn't have the rights to Venom yet, and Sony hasn't wanted to hand them over yet.

(I don't know, maybe money issues. Sony should make a considerable amount from the Venom movies)

☆ Portals

I actually didn't really like how the interdimensional portals are handled. Venom has never been a character who plays with space-time and the universe on his own (actually a bit in the comics, but not in the movies), so I don't understand how they inexplicably changed universes.

In the post-credits scene of the second movie it was about... connecting to the symbiote hive? But then what? Knull brought them back??

I don't know, I just didn't like that brutal change of plot direction.

☆ I changed my perception of the symbiotes in the movies

So, in the first movie the symbiotes arrive on a meteorite to earth and are captured by the Life Foundation. In this film, the symbiotes are made to look like an invasive species, the kind that goes from planet to planet looking to deplete natural resources. But apparently this wasn't the case.

From what I could understand, the symbiotes were escaping from Knull's awakening, so they weren't trying to invade Earth to drain its resources, but to save themselves from Knull.

This makes Venom look extremely selfish, because during the movie he tells Eddie that his fellow symbiotes only live to harm the Earth and he doesn't want Riot to reach Kyntar to pass this information to other symbiotes who need to escape from Knull and find a home.

There's also the possibility that this was the initial idea (that the symbiotes were an invasive species), but they made last-minute script changes that said otherwise.

☆ There was a Flash Thompson reference in the movie!!

It wasn't a small reference, it was a military man named Thompson and there's an entire scene that was almost too cruel of him losing his legs. I don't know if Sony has any rights to Flash's image, but it would be great to see him in an upcoming movie (if there is one).

☆ Rex was there too!

Does anyone remember Rex?

You know, the military man... who had a symbiote... and the symbiote became fond of him... but then he died and the symbiote stole his identity... You know! Rex!

He doesn't have a symbiote in the movie, and really only has the name and the face, because apart from being a military man and being related to sumbiote he has nothing to do with the one in the comics. It was a nice reference anyway. I personally like Rex the symbiote, even though he had limited appearances. I thought his story was nice.

But I guess it was just a reference in the movie because inventing new characters is not that simple either.

There is also this Doctor Payne

I honestly don't know who she is, I don't know if she was part of the comics or if she's an original character from the movie. I looked up her name, but it seemed like another character that I think has nothing to do with her...

☆ Codex

I didn't like how the codex was treated in the movie and I didn't fully understand how it worked.

I didn't like the way it was handled in general, that the codex only exists while both exist because they died and came back to life... How... only Eddie and Venom were united and were the only symbiote and host who died and came back to life?? In the ENTIRE universe?

And why does the codex disappear/is not visible when Venom isn't encasing Eddie? Shouldn't it still be there since it's stuck in Eddie's spine?

☆ The Hippie Family

They were fun and somewhat endearing characters. But while they were good for moving the plot forward, I didn't care that much about them.

It just helped remind me how sad it makes me that Eddie is a man who wanted to start a family and couldn't because of his own mistakes and mental problems.

☆ The other symbionts

The only comic book-based symbiotes I recognized were (besides Venom) Lasher and Agony. The rest I think were original for the movie.

Honestly, at first I thought the green-water snake-like symbiote was Lasher, but no. (I also didn't realize that the host was the cop from the previous movie until very late, almost after he was killed.)

It would have been great to see the quartet (Scream, Agony, Lasher and Plague. No Riot, because he died lol). But it wasn't that important, because in the end most of them died anyway.

☆ Characters from past movies

So Anne and Dan didn't appear in the movie. I don't have any hard feelings about it, I actually think they would have been a waste of time and their appearance always just brings this... weird geometric love thing where Eddie still has feelings for Anne, Venom... I don't know what Venom feels for Anne, I don't know if he sees her as a friend or has feelings for her too, Anne just sees them as friends and Dan is just constantly there being awkward.

Mrs. Chen was there. I must admit, she looked beautiful in that red dress!

look at that lady!

Honestly, I didn't think her appearance in the film was that important, but I'm not saying they were bad scenes.

☆ Knull

I think Knull was a completely computer-generated character. Understandable because all he does throughout the entire movie is sit down anyway xd

I don't have much to say about him. The design was well done and at least the voice acting in Latino Spanish seemed spectacular to me. Maybe he could have had more participation, but whatever, the movie was fine as it is. Adding more powerful antagonists would have made the movie 3 times longer.

☆ Eddie and Venom's relationship

I hate to use the term. But Eddie is a total Tsundere... Throughout the three movies he just keeps saying that he hates Venom and that he wishes he could go back to normal, now that he's been given the chance he feels empty.

As I know, "Not even death can separate them" or whatever the phrase on the movie poster said, completely lied.

☆ The end.

If I had to describe it in one word... bittersweet.

It was a good ending, dramatic, sentimental. But at the same time it leaves you with that feeling of emptiness, because Venom died and he is a protagonist and therefore he shouldn't die.

In the post-credits scene, a cockroach appears next to the small tube that contained a Venom extract. But it wouldn't make sense, because there wasn't a moving extract of the symbiote and anyway that extract later became who I think is Agony. It had her design but also had Dr. Payne's "hidden powers".

I honestly didn't like the ending at all. That "Well, now everything is like it used to be." BITCH, NO!

Especially since I heard here and there that Tom Hardy wasn't so sure he could continue participating, for reasons I still don't understand, so I'm convinced there will be another part. Either as a movie or a series.

☆ as a theory

I don't think Sony owns the rights to Agent Venom. But in case they do release another Venom, without Eddie Brock, that's my theory.

There was a reference to Flash in the movie and how he lost his legs. So maybe the next movie will be about them going back to Area 51 to look for the remains left after the massacre. Whether it's symbiotes that are still alive or just information they need to start a new area of ​​research.

They find layers of Venom, but he's like a baby, they use their abilities to turn him into a weapon, they give him to Flash Thompson, boom! Agent Venom.

Just a theory, obviously. Maybe the saga will end there and we won't have anything more about Venom until they start another separate saga.

☆

Honestly, I would have preferred them to fight Spiderman. Not so much because of the Spiderman fight, but because that would put them in the same universe as other powerful characters and they would have made a movie with a bigger Knull, similar to what Infinity War was.

You know, with all the characters fighting to save the world, but still having the movie center around Venom. Not exactly like in the comics, where Eddie becomes God (because that went really wrong for the comics), maybe just having him defeated and the symbiotes being free.

☆

ALSO! I think there was a kiss missing in the scene before Venom sacrificed himself, when they were on the fallen helicopter... I really needed it... And it didn't happen... understandable, I mean, there would have been a drama about it, but damn! It was the perfect moment to, at least, get close.

☆ The end of this post

The movie was good... Yeah... yeah, kinda.

I think for those who only watch the movies, or who only watched this movie, they could say that it's pretty good. It's fun, it's not as rushed as movie one, and it has a dramatic ending. I think that in itself it's a good movie.

But from my perspective, where I expect more coherence regarding everything and the extensive universe behind Venom as a character, I did find more plot holes, things that didn't make sense to me and things that I think would have been preferable to what happened.

Would I like to see another movie? Yeah, I think it would be great to really wrap up what happens with Knull and obviously have Venom come back to life, like... Venom? or Agent Venom.

Or even this gives a chance to convert the remaining extracts of the symbiote into Eddie becoming Anti Venom. But I'm just dreaming.

If you took the time to read everything I had to say, please let me know what you think! I'd love to read what you think of the movie or my opinions and theories!

[steddieonmywaywardson]

The Ghost (1990 movie) au nobody asked for!

“Argh! What the fuck? You’re here?” She shrieks. Before Steve can answer, she shakes her head as she begins to pace back and forth in front of the couch. “No. No. You’re not. You’re not here at all,” she babbles. “This was bound to happen. Overactive imagination. That’s what they all say. I’ve been watching too many movies. Concentrating too much on my script. It’s starting to bleed into real life and you’re just a figment of my imagination because I’m tired. Yup. That’s it,”

“I need your help Robin. I-“

“My help?” She laughs mirthlessly. “Oh no. No, no, no,” she’s shaking her head again. “I’m no help to anyone. I need to cut my hours at the video store…and I need to give the writing a break. Maybe go back home to Indiana. That sounds good right now…”

“I’m not a figment of your imagination,” Steve replies gently. He’s been so caught up in the fact that he’s finally found someone who can hear him, he’s forgotten how terrifying it must be for Robin. “I really wish it didn’t have to be this way, trust me, but you’re the first person since I died that’s been able to hear me,”

“Since you died?” Robin blinks. She’s still shaking her head in disbelief. “I can talk to dead people. Like some weird superpower or something…I couldn’t write this shit if I tried…” she slumps down on the couch and puts her head in her hands.

“You’re a writer?” Steve asks.

“Trying to be,” Robin replies, looking up. “Between taking shifts at a video store and an ice cream place to make ends meet,” she sighs. “And now I’m talking to you, as if I wasn’t having a mental breakdown right now. Who are you anyway?”

“My name’s Steve Harrington-“

“Uh huh. Do I know you or something? I don’t remember any Steve Harringtons…” she thinks for a moment. “Wait, were you the guy in my media class? The one who was always leaving his muffin crumbs all over the classroom floor?”

“No. I’m…well, I was a banker. Working near Tribeca-“ Steve answers.

“A banker?” Robin says incredulously. She rolls her eyes. “Why the hell would I make that up? I know nothing about banking!”

It’s obvious they’re getting nowhere but Steve needs to do this. He needs her to hear him so he can save Eddie from Jason.

“I’ll prove to you I’m real! Do you have last week’s newspaper?”

Robin narrows her eyes at him but she dutifully stands up and disappears into the small kitchen. A few moments later, she comes back with a crumpled newspaper, obviously rescued from the garbage. She sits back down and throws the paper onto the coffee table in front of her.

“Turn to page fifteen,” Steve says.

“Can’t believe I’m doing this…” She mutters to herself as she unfolds the newspaper and rifles through it until she reaches the right page.

“Left column, near the bottom,” Steve instructs.

He watches as Robin’s eyes dart across the page and stop when she reaches the article. Her eyes widen.

“Ok so….that doesn’t prove you’re real,” she says after a minute or two. “If anything, it proves my overtired theory. I clearly read about you and now my subconscious is manifesting you,” she explains. “Yeah, I took psychology in college,”

“Please Robin,” Steve says desperately. “I know this is a really shitty situation, OK? I’m dead. I was murdered actually and I’ve been taken away from the love of my life and it just so happens you’re the only person I know of that can hear me. Do I wish it was different? Fuck yeah I do. If I have to…be dead, then why can’t it be my boyfriend who hears me y’know?”

“Your boyfriend?” Robin suddenly looks interested. “You’re gay?”

“Yeah but-“

“Huh.” Robin replies. She opens her mouth as if there’s going to be more, but shakes her head again. “So…why do you need my help?”

[j3scax]

My Spoiler Free Review of the Fallout Show:

Biggest, sloppiest, awesomest recommend of my life, solid 9/10.

The show’s tone was absolutely perfect, nailing the feel, tone, attitude and comedy of the fallout games, as well as understanding the atmosphere needed to give the impression of a post-apocalyptic world. One complaint I have with a lot of post-apocalyptic shows is that it doesn’t feel like the world has been fucked over, but in Fallout it really gives the impression that 200 years have passed of not a single bit of true human development on the surface of the planet.

The show’s writing can be a bit iffy in some places such as certain plot points earlier on and some lines, but in all honesty it’s all around a completely solid: plot, story and script, while also not being afraid to add to the Fallout universe and lore. The characters are interesting, intriguing and genuinely enjoyable save for one, but even then he’s still written well and an enjoyable character, despite being weaker than the other main characters.

It isn’t perfect though! And I really don’t expect it to. The CGI can be a bit, euhhh in some places, but it isn’t immersion breaking in my opinion. I am slightly disappointed certain things from the Fallout universe didn’t see representation within the show, but to be honest I think it’s really forgivable as every other aspect brought in from Fallout is done perfectly. The world itself is done perfectly, with all environments again given a feel that actually looks like and feels like the environments of the game in person. The Vault, Wasteland and other Settlements are done absolutely perfectly, and genuinely look like how I’d picture them in my head. Genuinely one of the best adapted universes to digital screens.

As for the people saying the show is only there to just decanonise the non-Bethesda Fallout games - a sentiment that has been shot down by the creative leads of the Fallout Franchise themselves - the show definitely does not do this. And it’s clear that the next season of the show will definitely focus on non-Bethesda projects, and people do need to remember this is a Bethesda show, as well as the Bethesda games - unfortunately - being more well known than non-Bethesda Fallout projects, save for New Vegas. But even then, things are pulled from non-Bethesda projects, and considering the ending, there isn’t anything to worry about in terms of decanonisation. I personally, as a long time fan of most Fallout games (I’m still iffy on 76), see this show as a beautiful love letter to the game series that I’ve enjoyed since I was 7. I grew up on the original Fallout and Fallout 2, as well as played the hell out of New Vegas, and think that these games didn’t get as much love as they should have in Fallout 3 and 4, but this tv show really makes me think that Bethesda is showing that they care about these games too, and I have faith that they will be shown in future seasons as perfectly as they have in this season.

Honestly, if you love Fallout, please watch it! If you know nothing about Fallout? Watch it anyway! Some references and such may not be as impactful to you, but I feel it has a story and plot that can be enjoyed by anyone.

Oh yeah and all the characters are hot.

[amoxicillin-tangent]

how to leave a cult & stay out (long post)

i know this isn't my usual brand, but i felt the need to make this post given the fact that my poetry journey started as an exploration of emotions after i left the cult i was in. i know a lot of my followers initially followed me for that content, and i wanted to write this in case anyone needs it.

some background: the cult i left was a small evangelical patriarchal cult with a commune-type living situation. i am afab, with little to no family support and no college experience. i live in the US. i have no experience with anything outside this situation, and thus, my advice will not be universal. however, i've left and stayed out of my cult for nearly a year, and i wanted to share what i learned. i remember wishing i'd had a post or a book or anything to help me know what to expect, so here's what i've gathered so far!

tws: religious abuse discussion and addiction/nicotine mentions

leaving (logistics)

work

my ability to logistically and financially separate from my cult stemmed largely from the fact that i had work outside the commune & their sphere. my first attempt to leave was thwarted simply by the fact that, at that time, i worked with other 4 cult members and had no ability to seek outside employment without raising suspicion.

however, i was able to gain permission to seek external employment under the premise that i would be able to tithe more, and that i felt this was "the direction i was being led in." i am aware that this is not the case for every cult. in fact, after i left, it essentially stopped being the case for mine either. however, if at all possible, gaining external employment is key.

if you cannot seek external employment, save every single penny you can [in cash if they check your bank statements], and submit job applications a couple weeks or so before you leave. do not be afraid to quit a job that the members have some access to in order to be in a safer situation, because that mentality will keep you tied there for longer. a script for asking your manager not to penalize you for a sudden exit would look something like this (presuming the managers were not also members or leaders of the cult):

"hello X,

i am experiencing some unforeseen circumstances and leaving a dangerous [complicated, difficult, etc.] situation. my last day will be [day before you plan on leaving the cult]. i understand that this is not a full two-weeks-notice, but due to this circumstance, i am asking for understanding. please keep this confidential, as it would threaten my safety if others knew about this."

if you don't trust your management not to blab, ask for answers from other members, or even just accidentally let something slip, it is acceptable to quit the day you leave. it's better to have a rough patch on your resume than to spend the rest of your life in a cult, and in all honesty, it doesn't really matter much anyways. a gap in your resume can easily be explained away as time spent caring for a family member or staying safe in the current pandemic, and quitting under "unfavorable circumstances" still bodes significantly better than being fired. this is, of course, all worst case scenario. most managers will be understanding.

having another job lined up immediately after leaving will also prevent a great deal of problems with this. job interviews can be completed virtually from a coffee shop you know they wouldn't visit, or the house of a safe friend or family member. in the middle of this post is a list of excuses you could use to step out for a job interview, and if that's not possible: while you're PIMO [physically in, mentally out, a term for still being present in the cult but having the desire and plan to leave] you can schedule your job interviews in advance for the days/weeks after your planned date of leaving the cult.

social life

let me start with this: your friends from before are your greatest asset. they do not hate you. they will believe you. chances are higher than not that they saw the warning signs before you ever did. i can guarantee you a vast majority of them have been waiting for a phone call from you since the day you joined saying that you planned on leaving.

if your family was not abusive, toxic, manipulative, or connected in any way to your cult, they can also be an asset. however, tread carefully with this. you don't want to hop out of the fire and into the frying pan, so to speak. moving out of a commune and back into an abusive parent's house can cause more trauma in the long run.

if there is any sphere where you can connect with people that your cult does not have access to, utilize it. i found friends online, at work, and through mutual friends of people i had met before i joined the cult. even if you work with other cult members, if there are any non-members in your workplace, you can still make an effort to befriend them. if questioned by your cult, you're just trying to convert them.

being friends with someone doesn't mean you have to confess every detail of your plan to leave. you don't even have to mention your plans. friends can be a safety net even if they don't know what you're going through. choose carefully who to trust, but don't shut everyone out either.

housing

if you live with your cult, finding housing is an immediate priority.

the biggest mistake i ever made was my refusal to couch surf for fear of being kicked out or "becoming a burden."

your friends aren't nearly as troubled by you as your cult would have you believe. in fact, to this day, if a member of the cult i left were to come to my door asking for refuge, i would open my home to them without a question. your friends would rather see you on their couch or in their spare bedroom for a month than ever watch you go back to the place you left.

the first time i ever left my cult, i went back because i feared i was burdening the friend i was staying with. it wasn't until she called me sobbing that i finally realized that i wasn't the burden; my absence was the burden. taking up space is not a crime. no matter how much the cult tells you otherwise.

if you can't immediately find an apartment due to credit issues, age, income thresholds, etc, extended stay hotels are an option if you have no friends to stay with. the price ends up being equivalent to the cost of room & bills at an apartment anyways. this is a temporary option, during which you can take the following (vaguely unethical but often necessary) measures to hopefully secure a more permanent situation:

find a friend who's good at photoshop and invent some pay statements. [if possible, try to make them from scratch based off an existing pay stub of yours. landlords, especially of large apartment complex chains, recognize the common templates.]

you might have better luck getting approved [and/or getting away with forged paystubs] at a smaller apartment complex, specifically the ones you can't find on google. you may have to drive around and physically look for these complexes.

look up second-chance apartments

apply for any and all government aid you may be eligible for

work overtime or a second job to make your pay stubs appear greater. this is a temporary measure only; stressful, but worthwhile in the long run.

look on roommate-finding websites! a lot of people won't require credit checks, formalities, etc. a horrible roommate is still generally less of a pain in the ass than, oh, i don't know, 12 horrible roommates who are watching your every move and reporting back to the people in charge.

look for subleasing situations on websites like Craigslist as a last resort. take precautions, don't meet anyone alone, etc.

https://www.apartments.com/ ^here's the website i used to find my apartment before i left. it has a lot of good filters. delete your browsing history afterwards.

if you don't live with your cult, the moment you separate, you should file and enforce a restraining order if you feel even the slightest bit comfortable doing so and consider changing apartments within your unit, moving houses if feasible, etc. invest in an alarm system, a vicious-looking animal, a deadbolt, all the security measures you would take if you were being stalked. which brings us to our next point.

privacy

if they're monitoring your bank accounts, open another one in secret if possible or keep as much money as you can on a Pay-pal card, Visa card, etc. funnel as much money as you can into these accounts without arousing suspicion. the moment you leave, immediately cancel any account they may have access to and withdraw all money from it.

keep any incriminating items in your bra and/or undergarments. at all times. this includes vital documents [social security card, birth certificate, etc.], cash that you're hoarding without their knowledge [gross but necessary, keep it in a ziploc and sanitize it with a lysol wipe], etc.

have all mail that would reveal your escape plans sent to non-member friends or a P.O. box.

the day you leave, inform HR at work that your presence in the building should not be disclosed to anyone. change shifts if you can, park your vehicle elsewhere and uber from close parking lots to your building, or take steps to make your vehicle unrecognizable (remove telltale stickers, add new stickers with topics you have no interest in, add new rearview mirror hangy thingies, even remove seat or steering wheel covers if you have to. they might remember your license plate, but at very least your car wouldn't be initially recognizable.

if they have access to your location, do not turn this off until the moment you leave. when you do, do so quickly and on every possible platform. this should coincide with password changes for any account that can be used to trace you (email, Google location history, maps, apple/icloud, Find my IPhone, Life360, Airtags, bank accounts [use cash until the account is cancelled if they know about it], vehicle GPS)

if you have an IPhone, you will automatically be alerted if an unfamiliar Airtag is following your location. If you have an Android device, download "Airguard" or a similar app which will serve the same purpose. at very least, this will give you peace of mind.

a burner phone is an absolute necessity. you can find them at walmart and the combined cost of the phone and prepaid card is usually less than $100 [USD].

clear your browser history. change contact names of all non-member contacts to the name of someone you're in the cult with and delete the texts. people hardly ever check phone numbers if the contact name isn't suspicious to begin with. add parentheses beside contact names with [deceptive] information about who they are.

example: i had a non-member friend saved as "Karen (Boss at Amazon)" in my phone. that way if i got a call, i could play it off as a work call and step away.

packing/preparing to leave

lie and tell them you're organizing things. this is a GREAT excuse to have everything you own in pre-packed storage bins. under the bed is a good location to keep things. the less you act like you're trying to hide what you're doing, the better.

keep clothes on hangers for easy access. when you're packing to leave [presuming you can do so in secret], just grab them off the hangers and shove them into trash bags. don't worry about neat. just find a place to put shit and haul ass.

it's okay to steal shit but don't steal anything valuable at all or anything terribly noticeable. the last thing you want is them having evidence for legal recourse against you.

if there's food, take food. i lived off a tupperware full of chicken salad i stole from the cult for a solid 4 days. bring medicine with you regardless of whether or not you "have a good immune system". even if you don't think you'll need it, you'll need it, i promise.

it's better to leave everything and get out with your freedom than take all you own and get caught. that being said, if you have a feasible way of taking everything, do that. the last thing you want is to be so financially fucked that you feel like your only hope is to go back to them. [it is NOT.]

if you need to relay information to a non-member contact in a safe and private manner while with people, have them call you and pretend to be a business. for example, i had my secret debit card mailed to a friend, and i had her call me pretending to be the bank and read me off the number so i could put it in my apple pay. this could also work as far as pretending to talk to your boss or coworker [i.e. "Yes, I can take that shift starting at 10am" = "Yes, I will meet you at X location at 10am", etc.]

playing it off/excuses to be gone for apartment hunting or other leaving-related matters

doctors' appointments

[a minor medical issue or procedure can be a really good way to get out repeatedly if your cult allows access to medical care. i only know this because i had a real, diagnosed ovarian cyst but i proceeded to make up several appointments for it that were actually apartment complex visits, so.]

illness

[make this season-appropriate and believable. flu in winter and spring and late fall only. don't do COVID unless you can realistically forge a rapid test and trust that they won't make you prove it with a PCR. i don't advocate lying in any other circumstance, but once again, this is not an ethics class. cults play dirty, so can we.

promotion at work/added responsibility

[only works for so long before they try to make you quit the job, but it can make a good excuse in the interim]

car troubles

[visits "to the mechanic"=time out of the house. "car overheated/flat tire/locked out of my car/lost my keys"=good excuse for being late to events/being gone longer than expected]

ill family member

can give you two or three days to "be out of town" if needed, and/or time to go "see them in the hospital" or "care for them" over the course of a few weeks, especially for a chronic issue or an injury that would render them unable to walk and thus in need of consistent care.

[no, this will not bring a curse on your family or "manifest itself," that's magical thinking. if you argue about this in my notes on a post meant for cult escapees who are already struggling with religious trauma i'm reporting you <3]

leaving

pretending to be "late" to a church service is a good tactic if the services aren't held in the same area as where you're living. i told them i was running late from work and in reality i was at the commune house away from the service throwing all my shit in my car.

the second time, they had already caught onto that trick and started driving me to services directly so i wouldn't have a chance to leave. if this is the case for you, 3am is generally a great time to leave. usually night owls go to bed around 2am and early risers get up around 6am, so 3am leaves you with 3 hours to gtfo and an hour of buffer in case anyone stayed up late.

i was living in a room with four other women, so i had to be very, very skilled as far as not waking anyone goes. think critically about your roommates' sleep habits if this is the case for you in your cult. i made sure to walk closer to the bed of the heavy sleeper.

walk barefoot if taking the "middle of the night escape" approach. even if it's cold. if there's snow, you may have to keep your shoes by the front door/window you're escaping from if you're having to make several trips back and forth. wear non-slip socks if you must wear socks. if the socks get wet, take them off. a great way to attract attention is by leaving footprints everywhere, or by busting your ass and getting caught because a lamp broke.

a great excuse for being up late to leave is that you're feeling sick to your stomach and need to be close to the bathroom. fake a v*miting episode if you have to.

don't leave letters. don't send goodbye texts. leave some stuff behind if you can, especially blankets and the like to make it look less empty in your living space. my cult didn't even realize i was gone until 12 hours after i left because they thought i'd just gone to work. that's 12 hours of time where i wasn't being looked for, which made me a whole lot harder to find.

block EVERYONE. as soon as you possibly can. once you're out of the direct cult location, pull off into a safe place where you won't be immediately found and block anyone who is directly there or who could be persuaded into attempting to contact you on their behalf.

after leaving

try not to be alone, if you can help it. now's not the time for self-work. if you know loneliness might trigger the desire to go back, don't get lonely. hang out with friends all the time, go to clubs [responsibly and safely], take extra shifts at work if you can. try to hang out with your coworkers, i think like 80% of my friends back then were people i worked with. they might not be the best friends you ever had, but this isn't about making forever connections. it's about not going insane from loneliness.

online friends are also great! i had/have quite a few who helped me immensely in the months after i left. if you're the kind of person to stay up late when none of your other friends irl are awake, online friends with opposite time schedules are *chefs kiss* lovely. join discord servers for your interests if you aren't sure where to start with, but some discord servers can be toxic asf so don't be afraid to abandon a groupchat if it's too much.

don't pick up habits if you can help it. one habit turns into a million, especially when you're this vulnerable. i smoked a single cigarette as an act of rebellion and two years later my nicotine addiction can be directly traced back to me self-medicating my anxiety.

that being said. and i am toeing the line heavily between realistic and ethical here. but. if i had to choose between staying in the cult or having a nicotine addiction, i'd choose the addiction. i can break an addiction without having to change my account and routing number, soooo. yeah. take that as you will.

post-cult agoraphobia is real. don't feel guilty if it's hard to leave the house at first. grocery delivery is an option. grocery pickup is an option. uber eats is a thing that exists. you'll find your safe places & start to feel less threatened, over time.

idk if this will help anyone else, but i personally benefitted greatly from making a comprehensive list of shit they told me not to do and doing it anyways. please do not endanger yourself in this process, but. fuck it! i dyed my hair purple. i did a shitty job, but it made me happy. i kissed an embarrassing number of people. i came out as a lesbian. i adopted a cat. i wrote a book. i found myself through losing the pieces of the cult until the pieces of me filed in and took their place.

if you can help it, try to avoid the physical location or even the city the cult is located in for awhile. i understand the morbid urge to keep visiting but don't, if you can help it.

nostalgia is a BITCH and a LIAR. that cult leader was not your replacement mother, she is a bitch. the other cult members are not your brothers and sisters, they are traumatized brainwashed individuals. don't try to save them, either. if they reach out to you for help that's one thing but now's not the time to be a martyr.

most importantly: breathe. i used to physically look at a clock and talk myself through every minute on the very bad nights. just "one more minute. i can survive one more minute." it's fun to watch it grow to two minutes, then five, then an hour, and eventually you realize you're not counting your survival in increments anymore, and then one day you realize you're thriving. but be nice to yourself in the interim. it's been two years for me and i just now don't feel like i'm drowning anymore.

please reach out if you need more advice/someone to talk to. you don't have to do this alone. i believe in you and you're gonna get out and stay out.

you will survive this. i promise.

[gege-wondering-around]

My top 10 movies!

I was tagged by wonderful @dontcallpanic to do this ask game and I wanna give it a little twist! I'll also share why I like each movie (I promise, I'll do it quickly or we could stay here for days🤣)

(Not in any extra specific order)

1. The Maze Runner Trilogy

boys running around with the best music I've ever heard? My fav dystopian setting? Both movies and books are amazing to me. and this below? Broke my heart as well (and i won't elaborate further on the why)

But let's be a bit more serious, the 'save your people or the world' argumentation and how Teresa and Thomas basically represent each side as they are egoistic in their own way simply because they wanna save " someone " (the world vs friends) and to do that, one of the sides they stand on has to fall. This argumentation really shows (to me) how much you can bond with someone and the length you'd go to keep them by yourside.

(I know this song is in Divergent and not the Maze Runner, but I don't care, it's coded for running.)

2. Dead poets society

broke my heart. "Oh captain, my captain!" Might be the reason I value connections more than i used to when i was younger. Everyone has something to teach you and everyone has something within that has to shine... never settle for boredom, be extraordinary!

3. Stand by me

again, broke my heart. The value of friendship? The last scene? "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Seriously made me bowl my eyes out. I remembered the reason behind many friendships I had.

The whole reason why the protagonist wrote the script on his computer? Just bury me already...

4. The perks of being a wallflower

yet again, destroyed my heart, especially the book - that I have to finish - cause are you meaning to tell me this scene didn't put your heart in front of a mirror?

Even more so, this movie really shows how much it can hurt to be alive sometimes and how love is something people search for aimlessly, we just go around hoping to find it. But let me tell you, love is everywhere you have the bravey of heart to place it. You are full of love, which makes it findable anywhere you need it to be.

And let me give you a bit of the book. (To you who are a wallflower, you are special... never forget that🫂 - I was one too... so don't be scared, the world will bite you but you'll be able to heal anyway💕 "to charlie!")

5. Brokeback mountain

One of those films that leaves with something you didn't know you could feel before. Gave me a view of what love can be and now, made me realize how much you can love someone and live the struggle of being forced not to.

6. Planet of the apes

Just my love for another dystopian trope, which to me had the message of nature conquering back what's hers, the apes surrendering the humans. The survival of the fittest and the cruelty of the world. And Caesar's window as a symbol of freedom? And they he gets back nature????

7. Logan - the wolverine

In general, all the Wolverine movie could fit in this category, however this once, once again, broke my heart. Wolverine had always been my fav and his way of being just screamed resilience and redemption to me. And him having to pass down his legacy to a girl that he ended up seeing as his daughter? Knowing it was a curse to him more than anything? Telling her to be herself and be strong?

8. Can you keep a secret?

After all my cinematic traumas, let me give you a little love commedy that made me laugh despite the fact my humor is broke and I don’t understand humor or sarcasm.

It warms my heart, made me understand the silliness of love and also how much trust goes unsaid and how much that silence values. And how sometimes, running on a plane and meeting a stranger can flip your life around...

If you have time and don't know what to do, this is my advice for you.

(And to finish with something not too heavy)

9. Fast&Furious

I'm just a lover for good cars and family tropes and let me say, the last movies didn't have the car vibes of the first movies, but the franchise is family and these movies made me closer to my father. So they belong here.

10. Prisoners

The end just gave the fucking (sorry for the choice of word) creeps but the whole point of the movie (to me) being about a father fighting for his family and having a open ending... I'm a family type of bastard (not in a mean way) and I'd do anything for those I consider as such.

And Honorable mentions:

1. Jurassic Park

I just love dinosaurs.

2. Twilight's Parody

Just go and watch it.

So yeah, maybe it was longer than anything I've planned, anyway! Hope you enjoyed and maybe now have some movie to watch tonight! Have an amazing day💕🫂

And thank you again, @dontcallpanic, the ask game makes me see new sides of myself and give me the chance to share with people my thoughts! Wish you an amazing, wonderful day! 🩵🫂

Tags with no pressure: @jayjay55655 @heradion @oldefashioned @fuji09

If there are any grammar errors, im very sorry English is not my first language, and thank you for have come this far

[dave2olkat]

Hey, are you up for receiving an entire freaking essay about how you write Dirk and how fucking incredible it is? That was a rhetorical question, YOU'RE GETTING IT ANYWAY.

So. Dirk Strider. The absolute moron who sends himself back every iteration, gets increasingly splintered as a result, and is way too emotionally compromised to do anything about it at this point. I've noticed a lot of the characters draw inspiration from beyond canon, so we can refer to this Dirk as a sort of Ultimate self if I am not mistaken. The guy has memories from all past iterations rattling around his skull after all, and it is MESSING HIM UP BIG TIME!

Like, the man is going by a script at this point. Do this, and this happens as a result. Say this to a person and they'll react that way. Let Roxy leave so you can stay with Dave alone, stab him in the back, and leave him for dead so he gets off the empire's radar, make sure he doesn't actually bite it, and then he'll end up in the position most advantageous to him. He has a ship! A crew! A small support system! He's living his best life this iteration, and he has DIRK to thank for that! Never mind that most of his relationships were completely destroyed in the fallout. Never mind that he has accumulated major trauma from the carapacian war, and was betrayed by someone who he thought he could count on for anything, that's not important. Oh yeah, he hates Dirk's guts now, but he always calculated with that loss. He sacrificed his brother's trust in him and it sucks, it sucks and nobody understands, but it was to give him a happy life, so at the end of the day Dirk's the selfless hero!

And with that, I've accumulated my thoughts on what I think went through his head when he went through with this batshit awful plan. Dirk's literally so wrapped up in himself, that he can only think in terms of other's gain versus personal cost. I don't think he's selfish, no, from a certain perspective, he's far from it, because he's sacrificing the few things he holds dear for the few people he actually gives a shit about in all these loops. His relationships with said people. It's just that he is INCAPABLE of seeing how his decisions and attempts at helping them cause more pain and anguish, and eventually, the doom of the timeline. It's like at one point, he stopped seeing them as real people, with psyches that can be damaged, and feelings that can be things beyond 'I hate you now because you hurt me', and instead thinks of them as merely... puppets.

Because he's the only one who remembers. He's the one who can see the bigger picture, while his friends and family are caught up in the mundanity of each loop, living lesser lives, being lesser people. If only they knew, if only they understood like him, maybe they could be on equal footing, but no, he'd never wish this existence on anyone, and besides, even if they had all that intel they'd never really get it, because they aren't him. So it falls on him to save everyone, him and only him, no Grimmage, just because you have a handy helmet that spouts bullshit about the loops at you does not mean you have all the answers. This is Dirk's mission, Sollux would just fuck it up. Everybody needs to stay out of the goddamn way, you're saving this goddamn timeline. All those previous ones you doomed? They were just test runs, you know what you're doing now.

I just... LOVE how AUTHENTIC he feels in your fic. Like, I look at this guy and say 'Ah yes, that right there is textbook Dirk Strider behavior,' but you wrote him with motivations and a mindset that I can see combined with his Ultimate status. He's an incredible antagonist, and I can't wait for him to show up again, because I need Dave to go up to this guy and somehow slap some sense into him. Unlikely but hey. I want a happy ending for him too, let me hope.

 Okay, first of all, I loved this ask! I've put a lot of time and effort into writing Gold Pilot so if anyone has other essay-length asks or comments about the fic, go ahead and submit them, this monster AU deserves the attention. For anyone who hasn't read the fic, it's a Davesolkat Rebellion/Time Loop Au but it also will go deep into the other characters as well, particularly the Strider-Lalondes, so if you're into that, give it a read!

Okay, now onto Dirk- he's one of my fav characters in Homestuck okay, he's so complex! And I felt like they did him dirty in Beyond Canon and the Epilogues but at the same time they explored some hella interesting aspects of his character that have been in the main comic there all along, same with everyone else. Gold Pilot is MY take on how everyone's true 'Ultimate Self' would work and also them reaching their 'fullest potential' in a way? The situation is much different than in canon, of course, but overall I will try to deconstruct both, the Ultimate Self thing AND the classpect of their God Tier selves. This will happen to everyone, not just Davesolkat, though we WILL focus on those three because I have Davesolkat brainrot and Dave WILL be the only POV character because ‘unreliable narrator who might not have an idea of what’s going on’ is the best trope.

But Dirk- it's funny that you call him an antagonist because he's not that in the story. An antagonist opposes the hero/protagonist in some way, they're there as an obstacle to achieve their ultimate goal, but here's the thing, Dirk WANTS what everyone else wants. He wants an end to the Time Loops, he wants to protect his family and friends and help them reach the best version of themselves, and he also wants to kill the Condesce. Mainly because she's the one who kills Dave, Roxy and Rose, but also, because he recognizes that she's the TRUE threat in this AU (as far as we know). So no, technically, Dirk ISN'T the villain and he's helping everyone else fullfill their own goals, the role they will play in the Rebellion as it is, and he knows full well that they WON'T achieve that unless he's there to provide support.

You're right that he's sacrificing everything else to achieve this. He sacrificed Dave's trust on him, and Dave IS in probably the best position he can be because of it. Does Dave realize this at this point of the story? Probably not. There's hints that Dirk's actually going to be working with them further in on the timeline, but right now? Right now Dave thinks his brother is the person who ruined his life.

You're right in saying that Dirk's so completely wrapped up in himself, but I don't think he's incapable of seeing how his attempts at helping everyone are actually hurting them. I think he's well aware of this, and a part of him is well-aware that none of them will ever forgive him, but he's fine with this because this makes him an even more selfless hero. He does treat them as puppets, but I think he knows that he NEEDS them to be certain versions of themselves so they can properly fight the Condesce. Also, he's aware that even in this, they have a certain level of personal choice. Would he have been forced to stab Dave on the back if he HADN'T become a Treschutioner? We know Dave could have become an entertainer guy instead, and he would have STILL ended up with the Rebels. We've explored this with the Iteration Logs of the Solluxes, but the timelines are less a straight road where everything always happens the same way and more a collection of choices that give out wildly different results while still ending in the same way any way because the Condesce is such a menace, with everyone dead.

And he's another fun thing, Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY know about the helmet. Sollux has specifically kept him in the dark about it because he's convinced Dirk would exploit it if he knew about it, especially because the helmet's not only a device that spouts info about the timeloops. It's a goddamn database containing the research that EVERYONE Sollux has been able to contact has done in the past, what? 286 years or so. So yes, it's quite a powerful tool, but you're right, Mage doesn't have all the answers. And you can say that Mage's actually some kind of cheat code. It allows Sollux to have access to the memories of the loops WITHOUT all the trauma and emotional baggage that come with them, so if anything, I suppose that Dirk would think of it as the coward's way out.

Sollux quite literally decided to divide himself into two different people (or as different as two people can be when one does have all the memories of the other one) and has basically locked the part of himself that DOES remember in a digital prison/dimension, where it cannot harm anyone or control anyone else. What this has done to Mage, well, I think we’ve seen it already, so yes, one could argue that this is an incredibly selfish thing that Sollux did, meanwhile Dirk isn’t afraid to live with the consequences of his own actions, which automatically makes him the better man/hero.

As far as Dirk knows, Sollux DOES remember, he's just, you know, someone who will not do what is necessary to save the timeline. He's soft, he spends so much time trying to get along with everyone that he allows the people he loves to get killed every single time (though Dirk's doing the exact same thing, one could argue). They're more foils to each other that they're enemies, and it will be a lot of fun once we actually see them interact, because while Dirk does think Sollux is as easily manipulated as everyone else, and that he doesn't have what it takes to save everyone which is why it falls on HIM, Dirk does know that Sollux is the only person who knows him in a way. Who can recognize the sacrifice he's making and just what's at stake here, if he doesn't take exactly the same path he's taken every time to ensure everyone will be able to fight for as long as they can.

You're right on the money on the 'Dirk thinking all the other iterations are test runs for the real deal', because Dirk HAS found pretty much the 'best path' for everyone to take. We'll see more of it when we meet Rose, who IS still a very powerful seer in this AU and who also takes after him in a way, but yeah, the fantastic thing about Dirk is that he IS helping everyone and he does care. He's on Dave's side. He just, you know, also Dirk. That's why I've always found fascinating about his character, and what I liked about him in the actual comic. I feel like Beyond Canon let go of that fundamental part of him (the fact that he DOES care) and I'm using Gold Pilot to basically fix that? Basically how I think it should've been handled.

As for the happy ending- I don't think it's much of a spoiler that Gold Pilot WILL have one, because it's in the tags themselves lmao. 'Earn Your Happy Ending', they will get there, but it will take them a long time, and it won't happen in this iteration even. Dave WILL slap some sense into Dirk, but who knows, maybe it'll be Dirk who slaps some sense into him too before he does.

Once again, thank you for this analysis! I wouldn't say I'm the authority on how to write any of the Homestuck Characters, but I'm glad I at least got Dirk's character right :) as I said, he's one of my faves and his relationship with Dave will be explored and milked for all of its angst and comfort in this fanfic.

[smytherines]

can you sing?????? sorry this is really out of pocket and i mightve hallucinated this but i swear to god u said u did a drama program that did a musical every year and now i need to know if you're a triple threat (writer artist and singer)

I don't sing as well as I used to, I'm badly out of practice for anything other than karaoke, but yes I can sing!

I did a community theatre program in my area from ages 8 to 18, and it saved my life. It was split into a company for kids, and one for teens. So until 13 I did two shows and (sometimes) one musical per year, and then from 13 on we would do two shows per year, one musical, and then we would work tech for the two kids company shows. We also had two semesters of acting classes, one in the fall and one in the spring.

So I've done pretty much everything but spotlight (you could not pay me enough, spot operators are heroes). I've been a stage manager, prop master, I particularly loved doing sound because they let us make our own preshow mixes and I'd put way too much effort into mine. We were just a little community theatre, so we didn't do big name expensive license shows, but I played the Tin Man in Oz! And had to sing an incredibly weird song that starts with the line come on and lubricate my mouth (I swear to god I am not making that up). Actually kind of a banger though, and I got to sing at the low end of my range for once.

We had a professional vocal coach at the theatre program, but also my mother took vocal lessons for years and was a singer in a local band for about a decade, so I had a lot of help developing my voice early on. When I auditioned for the school choir the director told me he could really put me anywhere and I'd do well, but he only had 8 altos so that's where I went.

My biggest non-musical role was playing Jo March in Little Women, where I was onstage for 120 pages out of a 126 page script. I am very much a Jo March, like to the point where everyone just took it as a given I would get the role before auditions even happened, even though I was not usually cast as the heroine. I almost always got cast as a villain or the most over the top energetic characters, like I played Ms. Minchin in A Little Princess, most of the eccentric bit parts in The Man Who Came to Dinner (Banjo, Grand Duchess Olga Katrina, more I can't remember)

Sorry I'm babbling so much!! I don't get to talk about my theatre days very often, so I get excited! But that's why I love analysizing character and acting choices so much. I used to fill notebooks with lore about the characters I played. There's just something very interesting to me about using all these little... data points (?) to build a person. Like- if I was experiencing this emotion, how would my eyebrow move? What would my lips be doing, what would my hands be doing, how would that emotion affect my voice and body language. It's something I do all the time as an autistic person anyways, so acting almost felt like research to me.

Okay I'll shut up now, sorry I did an essay!!

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

What's this? Another Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow post?? But it's 2024! Surely, there's nothing new to uncover with regards to this seminal work of sequential storytelling...right?!?!?

Well...kinda. XD

BEHOLD! Another Tom King podcast interview, wherein he discusses Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, and mostly confirms stuff we already knew, but! BUT! He does drop some new bits of info!

Right then. LET'S GO!

My usual disclaimer applies, recommend listening to the interview firsthand to get a more objective perspective.

But if you're cool with my (INCREDIBLY BIASED! ALWAYS! ALWAYS BIASED WITH THIS BOOK!) summary, then ONWARDS WE GO.

(And when I say 'biased summary' what I mean is that I will be including the bits that make me want to run a victory lap because my readings were SPOT HECKIN' ON, ALL YE NAYSAYERS!*)

Ahem. Anyways.

So I'm going to start off with some new-ish info (at least, it's new-ish to me. XD) The interviewers had asked about the title, specifically in regards to Zor-El's dialogue in issue six (I believe it's the portion where Zor is explaining to Kara why he's going to save her, and says something like, "tomorrow will come soon enough...and you will be a woman looking back on the many decades of your life..." hence 'Woman of Tomorrow') and whether that was planned from the outset, or if that part came about organically as he was writing it.

King said he'd originally written a completely different script for issue six (which we did know) but FUN NEW FACTOID TIME: Zor-El/Kara's origin (initially) weren't included in issue six like, at all. It therefore would not have come up at any point within the mini-series, had they gone with that first script.

But editorial hated it (King agreed with their conclusion, and another fun fact, we'll get to see said script in the backmatter for the new deluxe edition, YAY) and when King asked if there was anything in it that they liked, they said the tiny flashback to Kara's time on Argo was good.

SO. King then decided to expand that/incorporate her origin, because that would be 'easy', and this was back during his crazy COVID writing schedule.

(Folks will perhaps recall that he wrote issue seven in like...a day. What we did not know was that he rewrote issue six in that same week.)

And then it ended up being everyone's favorite issue so yaaaaay for editors! Unsung heroes of comics!

They are also comics' greatest villains but that's a discussion for another day!

Evely's art was mentioned at this point and King was like, 'I had to go back and make the writing more beautiful/esoteric to match what she was putting out.'

Also we stan a comic writer who lets his artists take as long as they need on art. (Though as he's mentioned before, Evely was able to turn in the art quickly on this book, which is heckin' WILD to me, have you SEEN that woman's pencils and inkwork??!??!?!??!?!)

They touched on the True Grit comparisons, only relevant/new bits there are that King feels it's the perfect novel (agree) and that the John Wayne version is terrible (also correct) and the Cohen Brothers' version is great (right again.)

Another bit we already knew: It was an editor who was responsible for the suggestion that Kara should be Rooster, not Mattie. (I think in the past he credited this to Jamie Rich, but this time he said he couldn't remember if it was Rich or Brittany Holzherr, and said they could fight over the credit if they want. XD)

Either way, THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE, b/c the alternative pitch, with Kara as Mattie and Lobo as Rooster, sounded awful.

Instead King went with, 'Kara will learn from the young naïf, and teach the young naïf.'

(Much better.)

MORE NEW, FUN TRIVIA!!!!

King said they had the first issue completely drawn, colored, and lettered--basically ready to go, and DC said, 'we can't publish this because Supergirl doesn't drink.'

King called Jim Lee, trying to make his case, that she was twenty-one, it was legal, it was a totally normal/human thing to do, and Lee was like, 'but we can't.'

King: Could I do it with Superman? Lee: Yeah.

Essentially it was a lot of tiptoeing around stuff like, 'girls can't get drunk and whatnot' coupled with 'Supergirl can't do that because she's perfect and pure.'

But! Lee ultimately was like, 'okay, you can leave the scene in, but you can't say she's drunk.'

So if you go back and read the actual dialogue/narration, there's no explicit language confirming that kara is three sheets to the wind.

(Which is so, so ridiculous to me because the art makes it very, very clear that she is. XD LOOPHOLES!)

King and the interviewers pointed out that this real world editorial incident ironically tied into one of the metanarratives of the character, that being the pressure placed on Kara, which Clark doesn't have to deal with.

Art imitating life etc. etc. XD

Feel like I've heard this bit in other interviews but it's sweet so it bears repeating: the green sun planet's name is based on King's nickname for his daughter, and she was the one who came up with the idea of a 'green sun planet' during a discussion at dinner one night.

So shifting gears a bit, the rest of the podcast focused specifically on various plot points that the interviewers wanted to discuss/had questions about; it's basically King offering his insights as the writer. And I really, really appreciate this, for reasons I'll get to further down. Now then, more summarizing!

One of the interviewers brought up a sticking point he had with the book: the execution of the Brigand in issue four. Ruthye says to Supergirl that she thought she would save him. To which Supergirl replies: Did you?

King explained that Ruthye and Kara are on opposite journeys in this book. In issue one, Kara is on the side of 'I don't kill, heroes never kill' and Ruthye is on the opposite side, 'Krem killed my father, I have to kill him.' At the end of the book, they are once again on opposite sides, but they've switched.

(I love the way King described it, that Ruthye becomes Supergirl, and saves Supergirl. More on this later.)

But specifically that part in issue four, where Kara doesn't step in, King confirmed that she's on that journey, she's going through that transition, but she hasn't crossed the line of, 'I'll kill him myself.' Rather, she's allowing the system to do what it will.

King also mentioned that this theme isn't especially new and has been examined in comics time and time again, of superheroes asserting their morality over governments, and how that spirals into fascism. He cited Kingdom Come, etc.

Further comments from King on Kara's character: she's conflicted, unlike Clark. Clark's soul and ideals are aligned one to one; Kara wants that. She loves those ideals and wants to uphold them, but she's not fully aligned like that because of what she's been through (read: She's Seen Some Things)

Loved this bit from King: "Supergirl's a little more human than Clark, in spite of being more alien."

King said DC probably would've let him have Supergirl kill Krem in the end, BUT (and it's a good 'but' tying into that earlier bit about Ruthye becoming Supergirl) he said that the theme of this book was 'what makes Supergirl awesome' (he admits this is kind of a dumb theme, but hard disagree, sir) and he liked that Kara's lessons to Ruthye are ultimately what saves her. Kara saves herself.

(STICK A PIN IN THAT ONE, FOLKS)

King once again stated, for the record, that Krem does not die in the end!

The two interviewers had differing interpretations, hence King needing to confirm. XD He even pulled out his script for issue eight, and the description does indeed say that Krem is unconscious, not dead.

And, AND, Evely even made this clearer in the art; the script didn't have Krem moving after Ruthye hit him, but Evely added Krem placing his hand on his head.

Another point the interviewers wanted to discuss: Ruthye writing that Supergirl had killed Krem.

King confirmed that this was to prevent the Brigands from retaliating against Ruthye, and instead focus on going after Supergirl.

In King's mind, Kara feels immense guilt that her father saved her over literally anyone else, so she spends her life taking on other people's pain, to make up for what she sees as taking someone else's spot on that ship.

The scene in issue seven, where Kara's falling through the atmosphere and pushes through in order to preserve the memories that she carries with her was inspired by events from King's life; his mother died unexpectedly, and when going through her things, realized that he was one of the only people who carried certain memories of his mother and grandparents; he described it as a kind of burden.

Last question from the interviewers: Why make Ruthye and unreliable narrator? Do we believe anything in this book, now?

King started off his answer by noting that he fought against using captions in his books for his entire career; by the time he started writing comics, caption boxes had sort of lost their vitality and had become the equivalent of thought balloons, which had long since fallen out of style.

But when he returned to them with Supergirl, he said, (and I have the full quote below)

King: "What I love about [captions] is that you can write things that contrast what's in the pictures, so that the captions can tell you a little bit of a different story than what you're seeing, and thereby enhance it--it's that idea of Ruthye being, she's narrating the story but we're seeing pictures of what's actually happening, creates an excellent sort of tension I think." (Bold mine)

And so, some THOUGHTS!

As always, I love learning new things about this comic. I wish this comic had a commentary track, with King (and Evely, Lopes, and Cowles!) talking about the creation/processes behind the book.

Next best thing is podcasts, I guess! XD

But IN ADDITION to fun, new information, as I mentioned at the outset, King has basically confirmed a bunch of stuff I mentioned in my deep dive posts.

To quote one of the interviews: "I was validated by Tom King!"

XD

This also debunks like. Every bad-faith criticism lobbed at the book. It's almost like a checklist of the month-to-month stuff I was seeing from those aforementioned naysayers, complaining on twitter that King had ruined Kara beyond repair.

They'll likely never listen to this podcast, but I wish they would! I think it would make them feel better. XD Like, hearing the insights on Kara/Ruthye/etc has just reminded me once again how good this book is, and how emotionally moving.

Like, again, I love the way King sums up how Kara and Ruthye work together in this book to shine a spotlight on Supergirl; Kara teaches Ruthye lessons, Ruthye becomes Supergirl thanks to those lessons, Ruthye then saves Kara, thus Kara saves herself.

(Which hey, I touched on in my issue eight post, way back when.)

(I'm also beyond thrilled that my assumption that the art is the true account while the narration boxes are Ruthye's recounting was CORRECT.)

(Which isn't to suggest this is a terribly deep, difficult to decipher text. I mean. It's a monthly comic book intended for mass consumption, starring popular IP--the writing isn't inaccessible by any means. XD But I just remember seeing SO MANY PEOPLE deliberately misreading these specific points as a way to Stay Mad, so I'm relieved that my glass half full interpretations wasn't just the result of desperate Evely Stan goggles, you know? XD)

TL;DR: I cannot heckin' WAIT for that big, beautiful hardcover coming out in July (IDK if I've posted about it here yet but Lopes said he recolored some stuff so you BETTER BELIEVE I'll be back on my Woman of Tomorrow nonsense this summer) and I'm also thrilled that this entire creative team has returned with a new creator owned title (EXPECT A POST ON THAT...AT SOME POINT???)

[severeweatheralert]

Things I learned while writing two novel-length fics in the space of nine months

Or, advice I hope might be of someone use to someone out there, but all brains are different so YMMV. Ironically, this is probably the longest tumblr post I've ever written. Do let me know if you got something out of it!

Planning

You don't need to know every single plot detail at the start. It DOES really help to know roughly where you're going, plotwise and thematically, so it feels less like you're running straight into the great unknown and more like you're headed to some destination. Even if you don't quite know how you're going to get there, yet.

You don't need to know every single character detail, either. Favourite song? Favourite food? I couldn't name my own, let alone my characters'. What is important is a general idea of what makes them tick. What do they want? Why are they here? How do they think? (and if you do introduce details, save them in a notes file someplace, so you can easily find them later).

Outlines are great. Outlines are not the law. If you come up with something that works better than the thing you'd originally planned? Change it.

Scene setting

Remember that you're writing fic, not a movie script. That means you don't have an effects team to pay and you can make the entire environment do whatever you want. Forest fire on the horizon to match your characters' mood? Do it.

Trust that your readers' imagination works. You don't need to describe every single detail to set a scene effectively. Just pick out a few that give off the mood you want, and leave it at that. (Setting dependent, of course- a scifi setting will need more description than a classroom or a hospital room, where most people will have been in their life at least once). This goes for character descriptions too.

Sprinkle scene descriptors through the dialogue/action instead of starting with a whole paragraph of exposition. You'll pull people in quicker.

Research: if you're setting your fic in an existing place, it helps to do (some) research and incorporate that in the work. Simple things like incorporating the name of an existing retail chain or a highway makes your setting feel a lot more real. Google Maps is great if you're writing in a country you've never been to. Just hop on streetview.

Drafting

If you're trying and failing (multiple times) to write a scene, ask yourself if there might be a pacing reason for that. Is the scene necessary at all? Are you trying to start too early in the scene? What are you trying to establish with it, and could that maybe happen elsewhere in the story?

If you get stuck on a phrase/name you haven't picked/word you can't think of/detail you haven't yet researched: put something like [NAME] in brackets. Then keep going. You can come back to it later and you don't need to disrupt your writing flow.

Turn grammar and spell check off. Run a spell check when editing but don't get haunted by the little red line while drafting. A lot of the time its suggestions are bad anyway.

When writing dialogue-heavy scenes, it's sometimes nice to get the actual dialogue out of the way first, then come back later and add actions or descriptions in between to pace the dialogue.

Sometimes you'll have to draft a scene multiple times before it feels right. This is painful, but ultimately okay.

Feel like you should write but don't really want to? I like to set a timer for like 20-30 minutes, give it a go, and if I'm not into it by the time it goes off I'll go do something else.

Editing

Let a section sit for at least a day before going back in to edit. Give your brain some time to forget some of it. You can still draft the next bit in this time!

Sometimes it helps to set the text to a different font or to paste it into a different text editor. Trick your brain into thinking you haven't seen it before, basically. If you're brave, you can even use the editor of whatever website you're posting to.

This is when you run the spell check. But remember: you're allowed to mess with grammar and use words that the spell check says don't exist. "He deadpanned" is a perfectly understandable dialogue tag, for example.

Use a thesaurus! I like powerthesaurus.org because it has a dark mode. The main thing to remember is that you're using it to find synonyms that may fit your meaning/the mood better, not to find more complex words. Especially useful if you find yourself using the same word over and over in a section.

Practical things

Brainstorming on paper works WAY better for my brain than brainstorming digitally, for reasons unknown. Plus you get the fullfillment of using up a notebook.

Have a scraps folder for deleted scenes. Don't actually delete them! You can scrap them for good lines later.

Especially for longform work, keep notes. Things like repeated lines, relevant plot details, things you want to incorporate in future chapters: keep them somewhere where you can find them.

For writer's block: sometimes you need to let a story simmer for a bit. I like going for hikes or chewing on my plot in the shower.

I like having two WIPs with vastly different moods at the same time. One in posting stages, one in drafting stages. That way if I don't want to work on a very moody WIP, I can switch to the other and still get something done.

If you're writing longform work: you'll improve over time. Try to resist the urge to go back and edit the first chapters once they start grating at your perfectionism. Especially if you've already posted them.

Don't write the whole thing in one document if it's longer than ~10k. I like SmartEdit Writer to organize my fics. It's free.

Uploading

I'd recommend having a few chapters' backlog before you start posting. This way you a) know you like the fic enough to keep working on it for more than one chapter; b) have some backlog in case writer's block strikes or life gets in the way of writing; c) can go back and edit in foreshadowing or edit out plotholes as you discover them.

If you have (and want to give) a lot of content warnings, keep a list while you're writing the chapter, so you don't have to figure it out last minute before uploading.

Your works' stats (kudos/hits/subs/comments) say nothing about the quality of your work. This one is hard to internalize.

[desultory-novice]

Lightning Round!!

(Aka, Dess gives quick answers to a whole week's worth of asks else I'll NEVER clear out my inbox! XD ) 10 asks! Let’s get started!!

--

Wow, yeah! This actually makes a lot of sense. Zan seeing the culture of the man who saved her life be used that way? (And given Hyness has very sore feelings about Halcandra?) You actually think she'd be a little more upset! Then again, teasing each other on Twitter is probably about the right level of aggression for the Kirby series!

I'm generally live and let live on the matter, since for some people, the anime is the most accessible form of Kirby (or maybe they just like itty bitty Kirby because cute? Which is true!) but I would personally love to see in increase in a Kirby with wisdom and agency and the canonical ability to handle themselves over a Kirby who needs to be reminded when nap time is. Let's not forget that Kirby's friends are there in the first place not because Kirby requires a parental figure but because Kirby was the one who saved THEM! Multiple times!

@wyverewings​ Pretty sure that came from DeafeningGardenerPanda's translation of the Dreamy Gears novel. It was called "Kaze no Machi" (Wind Town or Town of Wind) which Panda smartly localized as "Breezeburg." (”Brighton” was another one. I think the Japanese was “City of Light?”)

Agreed on both points! It makes Triple Deluxe easier to play too! (Such violent inhales in that one! ^^; ) And I get what you're saying about Kirby! (Everyone is a significant other! Hee!) But I feel the exact same! Kirby loves everyone, equally, but it's the love of a friend-shaped friend!

@thecrashman​ I'm glad that DMK getting neglected in Dream Buffet was a one time thing, because I'd love to see more content putting the mirror opposites face to face! Or back to back, fighting together?! (I've never seen Jack vs The Ninja - must look it up now - but that DOES sound badass!) DMK is seriously under-explored. I think the Sectonia mis-understanding doesn’t help...

Huh. Just went back to Dream Collections script and he DOES say he's a traveler from "another dimension." Same kanji as used with AD in other places, but not written out in English as it sometimes is.

You know, I really do think this is all going to tie back to the TDX Magolor portrait?? I mean, Sectonia seems to have dimensional abilities. I can’t quite remember now, but I think you're traveling through dimensional portals in the later stages? Implied to be created by her or Taranza? So she probably could have helped Magolor reach there if they attempted to cooperate at one time. 

(DriftwoodMFW had this really great theory that the reason Joronia’s mask was labeled “old friend” wasn’t just because she was Taranza’s old friend but that Magolor thought of her as a friend too! Or didn’t at the time, because he wasn’t good with friendship, but thinks of her that way now?)

But yeah, who knows! Lots of possibilities there! (Fiddling around with Star Dream opened one up, so you could be right that anything Ancient/Energy Sphere-powered can open up a rift! Maybe Magolor even got ahold of a single energy sphere and BLIP! Insta-Halcandra!)

No problem! It's easy if it's content I'm interested in! (That's how I got so good at Japanese! Back when I was studying, there was a lot less translators/translations around and I was so hungry to learn info that wasn't available otherwise!)

Anyway, you're welcome and thank you so much for your care and concern for me! Gah, everyone here is so sweet, even when I feel like I must get repetitive with my complaining about being tired or needing breaks! But anyway, I'm almost always happy to talk about Marx and Marx speculation! 

...Especially if it helps Marx escape that image of “lol so zany, has literally nothing going on with him outside of having a terminal case of the crazies” that I occasionally get tired of. So I’m glad I was able to share some of what I noticed!

@driftwoodmfb​ Wah....Ah, thank you so much! You always have such nice things to say! I can't even express how nice it is to have people enjoy my stories!

I don't even know how I ended up this way myself! I kind of have an overabundance of empathy, which has hurt me sometimes but mostly taught me to always be as kind and as thoughtful as possible. Silly Dess fact, but I have this poem, “Desiderata”, that's been hanging on my bedroom wall since I was a very young child. I try to always refer to it when I'm feeling sad or lost. I recommend everyone give it a read. It's really good advice??

“Desiderata”

Also, the Kirby series really speaks to me. And by playing with it, I can exercise the part of me that wants things to be spooky and sad but also funny and heartwarming! (And if my drawings come off as warm and happy, that's probably me just being so happy that I like where my art is at finally! It’s only about now I realize just how much and for how long I’ve always dreamed of being an artist!) Anyway, I hope I can continue to make people smile!

I once wanted to make a Marx spin-off game in GB Maker, that was just like Kirby's Dream Land only... different! It would play with the concepts of dreams and “reality” - because I can't stop being obsessed with my own Noddy Marx HC! (I started making sprites for it but fell off quickly.)

I also think Marx would be great in a Magolor like epilogue, starting from almost nothing and having to kick at enemies to survive until you get further along, with him gaining his powers of flight back toward the end!

But I’d also love to combine a Marx spin-off with Kagero Mansion (which I also HC as having been originally designed for him - the stuff with the clock just screams "Galactic Nova was designed for this game!") It would play strongly on having these spooky elements, like the haunted house level in Forgotten Land, but stretched out over a whole game! There'd be all these traps and puzzles, slightly more tricky than your average Kirby game!!

...I should really hurry up and learn Unity... I bought the Corgi platformer engine for myself to push me to learn game programming last year but I got so busy I haven't cracked it open yet, eep! But hey! Watch this space! I may yet make a Marx spin-off of my own!! (Yeah right, Dess, you have NO free time for that... Wahhh, it’s true...!)

@eliastheownerof0axolotls​ The Soul bosses actually share all sorts of attacks, but since Drawcia and Marx are the original Soul bosses, it really all calls back to them! Which is kind of great?! It just makes sense that Marx and Magolor would have these little things in common! (Even though one is a magician and one is a wizard.) 

I'm really excited about the fact that the Master Tree uses Marx's seed attack! Maybe someday we'll get an explanation as to if there's SOMETHING ELSE connecting all these bosses together?!

[p0isonyouth]

hi sweet!! hope you’re having the most wonderful day! if there’s any room in your requests, I was wondering if I could request a letter from Spencer Reid? if I missed an announcement that these requests are closed now, please ignore this and accept my sincere apologies!! ♡

if you are still accepting requests, though, here’s some information you might need:

my name is Heather, I’m 5ft tall (so my head is level with Spencer’s chest BARELY and that’s not something I can think about at this time) with light blue, long wavy hair, grey eyes, I’m British a total film nerd. Doctor Who is my favourite show, The Terminator is my favourite movie - I have the script memorised and I’m not joking when I say that’s basically the only thing I can reliably remember, memory issues caused by trauma are, very much, unslay! due to what I went through during my childhood, I come across as a very bubbly, ditzy girl now and I take great pride in that, since I never had the freedom to enjoy life in such a way before, and I take being called a ‘silly girl’ as a genuine compliment :) I’m always excited about something, super easily distracted, very expressive, and empathetic to a fault - I can and will form sentimental attachments to inanimate objects and there’s not a force on Earth strong enough to stop me. a chair missing a leg? my son. I’ll take care of him. how much is that chair in the window. I’m also fiercely protective of everyone I care about and if I witnessed someone so much as giving Spencer a funny look I’d probably commit a small act of arson :)

for the letter itself, I was thinking maybe I’m part of the BAU but am on holiday and have returned to England to spend time with my family, so Spencer being the old-fashioned gentleman is all “I’m going to write my mutually-pining-best-friend a letter and post it across the sea instead of text her :)” - what do you think?

the only thing I would ask you please don’t mention is my biological father being involved in anything related to me spending time with my family, because he wouldn’t be.

anyway, so sorry for such a long message! thank you so much for reading it, I hope you have the loveliest rest of your day and that you find plenty that makes you smile today!! take care sweet ♡

Dear Heather,

Thank you for the prompt! I hope you have a lovely day as well and enjoy the read!

Sincerely,

Alyssa

Dear Heather,

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm writing you this letter, sending it all the way across the seas instead of sending you a text. it's just, some things are better said handwritten then in an electronic message.

How's England treating you? Say hello to your family for me, I'll try to go on the trip with you next time, it's just that Hotch didn't want two BAU agents out at the same time. I'm sure that we can convince him one way or another.

Back to my cryptic message above that I'm sure you're wondering about, my silly girl. I wanted to tell you this before you left, but I believe that writing it in a letter could possibly save me from some humiliation of rejection. I just can't stop thinking of you, Heather.

I promised myself that I wouldn't get too attached again with someone, in fear that they will leave or worse. But you've been by my side through all of it, and I couldn't be more thankful. With everything that has happened with Gideon, Maeve, JJ, and everything else, you're just there. I can't deny that I've always felt something for you, but I pushed it down because you matter too much to lose you over some feelings that are most likely one-sided.

Everything about you is simply mesmerizing, it's even too much to describe in words. Your laugh keeps my heart beating, your ability to memorize every line of the Terminator, the warmth of your body pressed to mine after a case. Every decision I make, I think about how it will affect you, I always have.

So, in case this letter gets lost at sea, I'm writing this down to tell you, Heather, my best friend, that I have feelings for you. And hopefully, you feel the same.

Meet me at our spot when you return home? We can talk about this in person.

All my love,

Dr. Spencer Reid

[janiedean]

25th hour and city of thieves I never read the book so why did you compare them to jaime jon and ygritte

eeeeh it's been years since I dealt with either and god why do I even have to admit benioff can write when he wants to but anyway

25th hour has nothing to do with asoiaf it's just a really good script and it turned into a really good movie

the thing with city of thieves is... okay tldr the basic plot is two russian men (lev and kolya) are taken prisoner during the leningrad siege and are promised freedom if they manage to find eggs to bake a birthday cake for the daughter of the guy who arrested them (obv hard to find during a siege where everyone was dying of hunger), they go around trying to find the eggs, at some point they go out of town in this mansion where they supposedly had a bunch of chickens and it turns out that the mansion is full of girls who were kept there as nazi prisoners for you can imagine which reasons, they team up with the local partisans to save them, the partisans include a young girl named vika who is v good at warfare and eventually falls in love with lev, blah blah blah not spoiling things but at the end they have to separate then *she* finds him post-war bringing eggs, he tells her they can make an omelette and she replies she can't cook, that was your basic plot thing is, lev is a 17yo bucket of walking angst who has Issues because his father was arrested and deported by the government because he was too much of a free thinker for them and jewish, bad combination when it comes to stalin government (as far as I recall), doesn't really want to admit that he might be dead-dead at least in the beginning, doesn't talk too much and isn't too social, also being jewish he already felt singled out and like he had to mix/blend/be better than his father or smth like that kolya was taken prisoner for being a deserter, doesn't appreciate authority all that much, cracks bad jokes all the time and irritates lev bc he doesn't take shit seriously except when he gets serious when it comes to saving the girls used as unwilling prostitutes, if I don't recall wrong he was extremely attractive/charming vika basically was going guerrilla stuff, was a better shot than them, went at lev every other moment like I know way mroe than you about stuff (which she did btw), was the one pursuing him more actively and I don't remember if she was a redhead or not but like... the personality fit the bill now like idk if it was obvious from my bad summary and ofc there were differences (like for one kolya had a nice active sex life with a bunch of female friends instead of yknow toxic rship with his twin) but when it comes to character archetypes/personalities lev and jon were pretty much the same deal from the teenage angst to the daddy issues to needing to keep the family name honorable, jaime and kolya had a good 70% of basic traits in common and vika and ygritte were the exact same type including the romance where they make the first move and not being stereotypical feminine which is why idg why the fuck benioff managed to write a book with three main chars that are the exact same archetypes as jon jaime and ygritte with the obvious differences and then completely fucking up adapting jon/jaime in the series because if he could write city of thieves there is absolutely no way he actually misread the og characters nor didn't realize what they were there for so...................... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk and I guess I never will but if I wrote an asoiaf au of city of thieves with that recast no one would bat an eyelid, I compared them because they're the same tropes obv written different and in another context but it was so glaringly obvious I'm still asking myself wtf went wrong there almost ten years later

anyway as much as it pains me to say city of thieves was actually a pretty good book so like idk if anyone feels like obtaining it through whichever mean they find most ethical when it comes to maybe or not financing benioff it's not a waste of your time

[ask-dcf]

Just One Page this week then mini pause on bloggo. Will explain below. vv

I been going it over and over and over in my head and the scheduling and it seems we maaaay need to pause the blog after the next page that I post today. What with a lot of dnd stuff I need to do for Friday and Saturday, work going on of course, and setting things up for MORE CRAZINESS, imma have to have this blog paused for juuuuuust a bit. It’s only until next Sunday. Aka few days before Halloween. My gf aswell has finally started some personal irl stuff so she won’t have much time this week to work with me on the rest of the script. We pretty far anyways so shouldn’t be an issue. ^^ Of course once we back in action I am also gonna take a small step back from dnd for a few weeks to focus on this collab arc. It’s just rearranging some schedule stuff.

Now while everyone is waiting for Sunday to come around you free to send asks to the characters. I can save them up for later. (Plus my Gf been getting hyper about them lol she so lovey x3) And I may reblog a thing or two. Maybe post some dnd stuff. Not sure. Buuuut I promise once Sunday comes around we will be back in action. Who knows we may get something scary for Halloween >:) Mwahahaha!~ (Also don’t worry I’ll put a trigger warning in case it too scary for anyone qwq bless the my sensitive people for we love kitties and flowers)

But yeah so sorry if people were hyped for it all I thought I could handle it since I’m technically a multi tasking deity but it seems even I have limits so I not a deity lol.

Anyways! Much love and bless all! Please be sure to take care of yourselves. ^^ Remember you are loved and you matter in life.