#anyway this is probably the shortest 'fic' i've ever written

[muzzlemouths]

Day 1 — "Best friend"

"Alright, I've got one. How do you make a tissue dance?"

You stifle a snort, smiling ahead of the punchline. "How?"

"You put a little boogie in it!" Sun slaps his knee with a metallic clang that echoes, shoulders bouncing with laughter that mirrors your own. "Get it?"

"Very funny," you answer. "Did you hear about the guy who stole all that soap?"

The kiddie chair groans under his weight as Sun leans closer, his laughter momentarily forgotten. Suddenly he's very, very serious. "I haven't heard a thing," his rays dance a little, shrinking inward. "Did they catch him?"

Humming, your hand digs idly into the tub of pony beads sitting between you, dragging the answer out as long as you can. A theatrically deep sigh escapes you. "I'm afraid not," you tell him. "They say he made a clean getaway."

A smirk slowly creeps onto your face as he twitches in your peripheral vision. The wall clock ticks once. Twice.

"Oh, you sneaky little—" He breaks for laughter, wheezing with an automated grind of rusty levers deep within his chassis that sounds more akin to a deflating balloon. "The set up, the punch line, the drama," his palm lands with a humored thump against the table, bouncing the beads in their tub. "That was a good one. You're going to beat me at my own game, at this rate!"

"Oh, hardly." Your hand swims through the rainbow sea of beads in search of a specific shade of blue. "I'm just repeating what I remember out of my jokes book."

Sun threads a letter bead onto the elastic cord pinched between his thumb and forefinger. "A whole book full of jokes?" His faceplate spins with excitement. "Oh, pinch me! What a thrill!"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool, I guess. The library billed me for its hospital stay, though."

"Hospital—huh?"

"Well I had it so long, I broke the spine," you curb your laughter behind a façade of seriousness, not allowing him enough time to process the first punch line before decking him with the second. "I tried getting an appointment with a good doctor, but they were all booked!"

Sun is doubled over before the last of it is even out of your mouth, having evidently picked up on where the joke was headed, already, and still it has him entirely consumed by glee. He's going to break the kid's table between you if he slams his fist into it any harder.

Having successfully located the correct shade of blue, you slide the last bead to sit beside the rest and finally tie the cord off with a knot, neat and tidy. It's nothing special as far as kandi bracelets go, but you're proud of the effort behind it, regardless. After all, you weren't prepared to do any crafting today in the first place. Sun had asked you to help him sort the new shipment of beads before you went home for the night — one thing led to another and, well, here you are.

"All finished!" Sun quells his laughter enough that he can tie off his own bracelet; a parade of pastels in every color with the letter's "BFF" at the center. It hangs on a single finger, dwarfed by his massive hand, as he offers it to you with a big, cheesy grin. "Well? What d'ya think?"

The bracelet slips over your palm and comes to a rest just below the joint like a slipper made to fit. "BFF?"

"Best friends forever!"

"I love it," you tell him, feeling warmed by the notion. "Want to see mine?"

Too impatient to wait for an answer, you hand over your second bracelet of the night — a string of midnight blue with chunky yellow stars in between — and watch as his eyes light up and his voicebox crackles with a certain gravel that isn't quite his.

"Pretty," he says. Too short of a remark to have come from Sun. He slides it along his own wrist to sit above the yellow bracelet already there.

"Well, I should get home." The miniscule chair topples backwards as you stand, hands bracing against the table. "Sorry I couldn't stay longer tonight. There's a concert opening downtown and I want to get back before the traffic gets too bad."

Sun follows your lead and awkwardly squirms his way out of the kid's chair. "You could always stay the night," he says. The giggle in his voice is the only way to know for sure that he's joking. "Let me walk you out, at least."

These moments are your favorite. When the world is quiet, and you can enjoy each other's company without worrying about what tomorrow brings. It makes every goodbye feel like it will last forever. Who would have known that a friend could ever feel so much like home.

Sun opens the door for you, but stands in its path, shifting the weight between his feet with a metallic ring of his bells and a doting expression like he has a thousand things he wishes to say to you. Ultimately, he settles for something simple, yet no less fond.

"See you in the morning."

[jazlynriddle]

Let's Go, Together

Summary:

What if Anne arrived a little later in the catacombs? What if she didn’t see Sebastian kill Solomon? What if she wasn't overcome with rage, piled upon grief? You watch helplessly instead, as the twins go to meet fate, hand in hand.

Warnings: Death, major character death, angst, depression, suicide, bittersweet, tragedy. Like, my partner read this and went "this is some Romeo/Juliet-esque shit right here", seriously, don't read this unless you're ready for the possibility of crying.

You can also read on AO3!

Notes:

So, this is probably the shortest oneshot I've ever written, I'll explain in the notes where it came from, but this came out super damn smooth, like, bam, under two hours and barely any editing needed. Getting this out was like the smoothest diarrhoea ever, complete with painful cramping.

And, whoooo! It’s finally come, the day that my notes are actually longer than the fic itself. Aha ha ha… goddamnit. Though, I’ll admit that that’s because half the notes are me ranting about the argument that got this churned out to begin with. So, I apologise to anyone who came in thinking the fic is 5k words, half of that is notes and they wouldn't fit in the notes category. I'm sorry! OTL

Also, fuck me, I only have a week left before my deadline and the next chapter of It's My Own Design is still only half done- ToT Being in an argument makes it hard for me to regulate and get into my writing, it's already over but I'm still feeling its effects... sigh hopefully getting this out will make me feel better...

You watch as the wand falls from Sebastian's fingers, he's staring at his hand like it's betrayed him. You're about to speak, to ask him what the ever-loving fuck. When the Inferi nearby swipe at you and you can't simply continue watching his stunned form.

“Sebastian, look out!” You shout, casting Incendio at the Inferi around you, the flames licking across the hems of your robes. “Snap out of it!”

This isn't the time to be horrified. Not yet, anyway. Not while the living dead continue to attack, uncaring of the absolute shit show of a disaster that has taken place here.

You spare a moment to cast a Confringo at one of the skeletons coming up behind Sebastian, but he takes a blow from another, which jostles him from his stupor, and he finally seems aware of his surroundings again. You kick his wand to him, Inferi first, you can slap him later.

He quickly scoops up his wand and resumes fighting. Without Solomon attacking you alongside the Inferi, without Sebastian being distracted trying to solo Solomon, the two of you sweep up the remaining Inferi with your usual efficiency and teamwork.

All too soon, the cavern is quiet once more, save the panting from you and he. Charred bones litter the floor, covering almost every square inch, but you have no interest in them, because Sebastian has gone still, staring at his uncle's body once again.

“Sebastian... what have you done...” You breathe, you don't know what to do, how to react, nothing could have prepared you for this. For him to do this.

Sure, Solomon had been coming at you with terrifying anger, even hung you in the air and petrified you - as the Inferi slashed at you - threw Confringos at you, ignored your pleas for him to stop, to stop making things worse. But this... the Killing Curse, you're not sure whether Sebastian was trying to protect you or just taking his anger towards Solomon too far.

Maybe it was both? You pray it was both. His outburst on the mountain still feels uncomfortable, even if he apologised for it. If you pissed him off enough, would he kill you too? You watch Sebastian sink to his knees by his uncle's body, reaching out with shaky fingers to touch the hardening skin.

“U- uncle?” He murmurs faintly, and you know the answer. He wouldn’t have. Sebastian is just as shaken by his actions as you are.

You have to mean it.

You swallow, yeah, you'd meant it too, when you threatened to abandon Sebastian, when he was being a prick on the mountain. Didn't mean you wouldn't have felt awful about it afterwards, if he made you feel like you had to, if he pushed you into that corner. Didn't mean you wouldn't hate the consequences, didn't mean you wouldn't miss having your friend by your side, as you fought against Ranrok. Alone.

You take a step towards him, but you don't know what to say, and the sound seems to jostle him from his daze.

“In- inferi.” Sebastian mutters, pushing himself to his feet unsteadily and taking several steps back, turning away from the body with a hand over his mouth. He looks like he's seconds from vomiting. “We- we can say the Inferi did- did- this.”

“Sebastian...” You frown, he's doing it again, closing his feelings off and trying to think with his brain alone.

“Please-” He gasps, knowing that you're about to... actually, you're not sure what you're about to say or do, but whatever it is, you don't get to.

“Sebastian?” Anne's voice reaches your ears, and both you and Sebastian stare at the doorway, in varying degrees of horror.

“A- Anne-” Sebastian moves, as though wanting to cover Solomon's body from her view, even though he must know he cannot possibly do so in time.

You see her expression change the moment she spots Solomon. With wide eyes, she staggers towards him, slowly at first, disbelief on her face, and then she's running, stumbling and falling mere steps away. Sebastian quickly darts forward to catch her, but she throws his arms off and collapses to the floor, dragging herself across the stone to kneel by Solomon's cold corpse.

“No- no no no- Uncle?” Anne touches Solomon's face frantically. “Please, uncle-”

“He's- he's gone.” Sebastian pleads, practically begging her to stop. To stop making him regret what he's done. “Anne-”

“Why- how-” Anne gasps, tears spilling from her eyes in rivers as she clings to the man's body.

“I- Inferi- they- they got him.” Sebastian answers, giving you an entreating stare, like you were a deity that he was praying to for salvation.

You are at a loss for words, there hasn't been enough time for you to decide if you will go along with his lie. And it is a lie, an outright lie. He's told many half-truths, used misleading language and implied things that weren't true, kept secrets - just as you have - but this is his first baldfaced lie.

“Why-” Anne continues before you can decide, turning to look at Sebastian. “Why did you do this? Any of this...”

“I-” Sebastian stammers, you've never seen him so speechless.

“I'm not worth this.” Anne sobs and Sebastian immediately kneels, grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her.

“You are!” He declares, it sounds like a demand and a plea in one, and he's crying now too, more desperately than you ever imagined the cocky boy could. “You are! I- please, Anne, I can't live without you.”

He touches her face gently, tenderly, despair dripping from every word. “You can't say that. I- I need you. You are worth it. You... you have to be.”

He's hanging off her shoulders now, sobbing harder than even she had been, and she watches him with empty eyes.

Defeated, resignation in the slump of her shoulders, in the flatness of her expression. It hurts to watch.

She slowly raises her hand to touch his wet cheek, speaking gently. “You need to let me die.”

“No!” Sebastian practically screams, grabbing his head between his hands and you instinctively raise your wand. He's going completely off the rails, and you're worried about what could happen, what he might do, but he only continues wailing. “I can't, I need you! Anne, I can't live without you! Don't leave me, please, please stay, just- just stay... I'll do anything...”

He grasps her hand, gazing into her face, his eyes red and frenzied, and she swallows, before closing her eyes in acceptance and sorrow.

“I know... but I can't.” Anne whispers, and before his face can harden into anger, she touches his cheek with a sad smile. “So... let's go. Together.”

His entire body freezes, and you freeze too. Surely, she can't be suggesting-

“I can't- I can't let you hurt anyone else, but I understand now.” Anne gives a bitter laugh. “I was wrong to think I could just... set you free.”

He chokes on a sob, placing his hand over hers.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Sebastian. It's okay.” She smiles beseechingly. “I know you don't mean to, and you would hurt too, wouldn't you? If anyone else gets hurt. If Ominis or...”

Anne gives you a glance and you jolt in place. She was serious!?

Incredulous, your eyes flicker to Sebastian, who is also staring at you now. He's wearing a complicated expression, and you're not sure which you see, fear, relief or regret. Perhaps it's all of the above.

Your heart clenches, was that why he didn't tell you when he was going to test the relic? Because he didn't want you or Ominis getting hurt if it went wrong? Because he wasn't willing to sacrifice anyone beyond himself? Was that why he seemed so eager to show you that he'd mastered the relic without a sacrifice?

Was that why his control over the relic hadn't been complete? He was so clever, it would be Sebastian who'd manage to make the relic work halfway, without even paying the price for its services.

Anne turns back to Sebastian, her voice firm. “So, come with me. I won't leave you behind to suffer.”

He returns his gaze to her, eyes wide - like a lost child - and she presses a kiss to his forehead. “We can find a quiet peaceful place, we'll spend our last days there, and then we can go. Together.”

Stop. You want to say, you want to step forward, to stop this madness, but something holds you in place. Is it shock? Is it fear? Is it because... you can't see any other option either?

Sebastian stares into her eyes, and you watch. It's like watching the most beautiful, serene, and tranquil... horror play, enacted before your very eyes. A small smile of relief spreads across Sebastian's face, and he nods.

Anne leans forward to press their foreheads together and the twins close their eyes.

“Born together...” Sebastian whispers, like a prayer.

“Live together...” Anne's smile and voice are tight and watery.

“Die together.” Sebastian breathes and something in you snaps.

“Wai-” You step forward, the word barely out of your mouth, as the kneeling twins and Solomon's body vanish with the crack of apparition, and you shout. “No!”

But the cavern is empty now, nothing but you in a sea of bones, as your shout echoes down the hollow tunnels.

You stand in shock for several moments, before panic sets in and you scramble for the doors, bones clattering loudly as you kick them out of the way. You barely manage to reach the exit without stepping on a fibula and twisting yours.

The cold evening air hits your face when you emerge from the catacomb. It's bracing, but you have no time to enjoy the fresh breeze.

With a single deep breath, you take off towards Feldcroft at a sprint, if they leave the village, you don't know where they might go. You're desperate to stop them, wishing you could apparate too. You barrel through bushes, leap over rocks, stumble as you run.

The dimly lit hillside stretches out before you, and it was only a matter of time before you tripped over something. The dirt hurts, grains lodging themselves under your fingernails, but you push yourself up with trembling arms and throw yourself forward again.

The sound of them disapparating replays in your ears on repeat. The blissful smile on Sebastian's face, the peace on Anne's, flashing through your mind.

Tears bead in your eyes, and you pray to any celestial being listening that that will not be your last image of them. You feel like the pain in your chest may never fade if it is.

You're out of breath when you arrive at the Sallow residence, and you cast your gaze about frantically, hoping to see them, but all you find is Ominis, leaning against the rock fence behind the cottage. The blind boy is bathed in the last rays of the setting sun, staring distantly with something clutched in his hand, and you rush over.

“Ominis! Have you seen Anne and Sebastian!?” You gasp out without much thought, before your eyes settle on what seems to be a freshly dug mound on the ground near him, and a tombstone that reads ‘Solomon Sallow’. A sinking feeling bears down on your shoulders, settling heavy in your gut.

A bitter, hysterical laugh, almost painful in its grief, rips from Ominis’ throat. “No... but they- goodbye... they said goodbye.”

His cheeks bear streaks of tears and he whispers brokenly. “I- I couldn't stop them...”

No pit in your stomach has ever hurt this much, you cover your mouth and stumble to the side, catching yourself on the same fence. You want to vomit, your heart hurts, they hadn’t even said goodbye to you.

“Sebastian- Sebastian gave me this...” Ominis murmurs, holding out the item in his hand, a rolled-up note. “For you-”

His words choke in his throat, and you take the parchment with trembling fingers, you feel like the same lump is in your throat, as you unroll it to read.

I'm sorry, I wish I could say goodbye to you. But I know you wouldn't let me go. So, this must suffice. Our time together has been short, but I have cherished every moment, and you will always have my gratitude for being by my side.

I have no right to ask anything of you. After everything, you would be well within your rights to hate me. You and Ominis believed in me, and I let you both down.

But please, please take care of Ominis for me? And for Anne. Don't let him be alone. I don't want him to follow us. You know how to talk to him, better than I ever did. Be there for him, like you were for me.

Please. Humour my selfishness, just one last time.

Your friend, Sebastian Sallow

P.S. Help me burn Salazar's journal too. I no longer need it, and Ominis was right. I did end up regretting it.

Your knees hit the floor and your fist slams against stone. Pain shoots up your arm, but it doesn't compare to the pain in your heart. That fucking prick. That selfish - selfless - fucking idiot.

You hear a sob leave Ominis and he slides down to sit beside you, his expression is the most broken you've ever seen. More than in the Scriptorium, where he'd seemed more afraid than anything else. Now, he looks as though a stiff breeze could rip him apart.

You lean into him and wrap your arms around him, letting him cry into your shoulder, as you do his. Taking comfort from each other, and mourning the tragic twins who'd come to mean so much to the two of you. Those two bright souls, searing in their intensity - in their love - burning everything they touched, and then burning out like a wisp on the wind.

Alright. Alright, Sebastian. I'll try my best.

You never see them again, but you can't forget how powerful and beautiful love can be, and how painful a curse it can also be.

Maybe, hopefully, they are finally at peace.

Together.

Notes:

I tried to write this from the perspective of the average player rather than my own, because I know there's a lot of people who didn't react the same way I did during the game, and I wanted to sort of guide the brain (of anyone who relates to this response), to the conclusions I came to after analysing the game.

The reason I have Sebastian willing to burn the book and express regret is because he buried Solomon himself this time, not Anne alone. So, he had more time to feel the weight of his actions, that's one of the things I find frustrating, I've seen people go “Sebastian didn't say he regrets it until we threatened to turn him in” and I'm like, yeah, because he didn't get to face what he'd done, Anne's intervention allowed him to look away from what he'd done and distract himself. To wrap himself in the blanket of his righteousness. Thus, it was only when the social consequence became undeniable, when his actions irrevocably damaged his bond with Anne, that he was forced to face it.

For example, if a kid was recklessly grabbing a cup and it spilled everywhere, the correct thing to do is tell them that they should be more careful next time and then have the kid clean it (with your guidance, of course). The wrong things to do are; scold the child with “what's wrong with you, you are so impatient, look what you've done, you stupid kid”, or shoo the kid away and clean it yourself. One is hurtful, and the other doesn't teach the kid to take responsibility and give them a means of repenting and fixing the mistake.

Solomon repeatedly does BOTH those wrong things every single time we see him interact with Sebastian!

One of the arguments (for Sebastian being evil) that I hate the most is the, “you have to mean it, so Sebastian meant to Avada Solomon, and meant to cast the Cruciatus, he eeeevil.” Like, really? You've never done something that you were sure of in the moment and then regretted later? Seriously? Never said something hurtful, kicked a chair, broke a pencil, threw a tantrum? You sure meant it then, does that mean you can't regret it? Does that mean it didn't hurt to do it? Come on.

I was recently in an argument with someone who tried to tell me that mistakes aren't choices, saying that, “tripping on a rock, or dropping a cup is a mistake. Sebastian made a choice, not a mistake”. I'm just like, you're describing an accident, if you drop a cup, that's by accident. Mistakes are wrong/misguided choices, choices you regret, choices you want to take back. It's in the damn dictionary!

People make mistakes when under extreme stress. Case in point, Ominis. Cruciatus, big oof, 100% not his fault, but he did mean it. I just think that anyone who judges Sebastian but says Ominis is an angel doesn't understand that torture isn't always ripping off fingernails or stabbing eyeballs. The type of torture Sebastian was experiencing was equally as cruel as Ominis got from his family. Just because Sebastian's torturer is reality itself (plus his uncle salting the wound), doesn't make it any less painful or devastating.

Another one is, “Sebastian manipulated MC into helping him and lied about his goals.” Like, when? Sure, he's been evasive, he's lied by omission, been misleading, but those were always in order to advance steps on the way to the goal, his goal was very plain from the beginning and never changes. “Cure Anne. Consequences? Who cares? If she dies, I might as well die too, then nothing matters.” That's why he's so reckless, it's despair and depression. Like, Sebastian could be an unreliable narrator regarding the way Solomon treats him, but he didn’t need to do shit to make me disapprove of Solomon’s behaviour, the man earned that on his own.

You can even say that this is the exact scenario that the Ominis in my other fic, Heavy Is The Crown, was so terrified of. Sebastian just doesn't have much to live for besides Anne and Ominis.

I will admit though, that Anne's maturity and balls have been cranked up a tad for this fic, she's more insightful and willing to face Sebastian's desperation rather than running away from the reality that, whether she likes it or not, even if it's not her fault, her death will ruin him, and she can choose to do something about it, or leave him to drown without her.

In this ending, she gives Sebastian relief, she offers him permission to stop. To give up, to stop trying, to stop fighting, to stop swimming against the current, to let it carry him down the stream, shatter his body against the rocks and obediently sink to the bottom. Permission to stop acting strong, to stop trying to convince others and himself that he's strong enough to carry a dying girl on that tiny 15-year-old back. It's a relief, it's freedom, it's her saying he can say, “I've done enough.” and she won't be disappointed that he can't move on, she's accepted it.

I actually believe in euthanasia, as it is done in the Netherlands, there's just so many things that are worse than death. The person I argued with tried to convince me that murder is the greatest sin, and I'm like, I can list a million things I'd rather be murdered, than be inflicted with, you lucky sweet summer child. I congratulated them on never having reached Sebastian's desperation and they seemed to be offended, but I meant it. I would love to believe that murder is the worst sin.

Then again, this person I was arguing with also said they'd rather lock up and punish someone who regrets and is ready to repent, than for anyone to “get away with it”.

I think it's also frustrating that some people seem to think that Sebastian doesn't care about Ominis because he keeps throwing us at Ominis, but I think he's hurt that Ominis listens to a stranger over him. It's because Sebastian cares about Ominis more than his own pride, that Sebastian says “you know what, I can't figure out what Ominis needs, but I want him to get it. So, if you can do it, please, even if it hurts me to ask you to do something I wish I could do. Talk to him for me because I don't know how to do it without hurting him.”

In the game, Sebastian shows signs of being bitter about not being able to communicate properly with Ominis, and it's one of the reasons he's ready to die with Anne in this fic. Sebastian doesn't feel needed by Ominis, Sebastian mistakenly thinks that Ominis is angry that “being friends with Sebastian” means that Ominis still has to think about Dark Arts. Sebastian doesn't have a reason to stay.

And that's why I prefer legalised euthanasia, going through multiple doctors, years of evaluations, lawyers and hoops before being approved and being able to back out any time. It's better than suicide since there's professionals to make sure that you've tried every option. Without legal euthanasia, people are more likely to attempt suicide alone, and when it's based off misinformation, like Sebastian's mistaken belief that he isn't needed.

In Heavy Is The Crown, Ominis gets his head out of his ass and takes action to prevent Sebastian from falling to suicide, but in this alternate path, Ominis continues his modus operandi of just feeling sorry for himself when something he doesn't want to happen happens. Which, obviously is NOT his fault. That's his default modus operandi because of his abuse and disempowerment in his home and school, because his family influence is so broad.

Also, um, I feel like I should just say, you're welcome to interpret Sebastian and Anne's love in this fic however you wish, but I personally did not write it with incestual romance in mind. Just... making that clear. The Reader/Ominis is a bit more intentional and I do think of this as a bit of pre-ship between Ominis and MC, but you can also see that as platonic, of course!

I'm just gonna rant about the person I was arguing with for a bit. You can skip this, but if you want to know where this fic came from, feel free to read the painful experience that led to it.

One of the most horrifying things that person said was “if a woman who had been assaulted and became afraid of men afterwards or if someone had a bad experience with a black person, and retaliated against the next black person who approached them aggressively, they should be blamed for choosing to react violently.” Like, I'll grant that these people with bias resulting from bad experiences should not be in charge of making laws and they need therapy, but blame them for a fear response? Wtf-

I begged them to try to understand why people make mistakes or overreact and take their experiences into account and have compassion, if they want to prevent tragedies and treat the root of problems, and they said I was insulting them as uncompassionate. They pulled a “I've suffered too, but I didn't become a murderer” line too, why do they always pull that one? Just because you can, doesn't mean everyone else can! We are not all equal in experience, support, background, and physical/chemical make up!

I pointed out their misquotes of lines that weren't in the game, like, they said Anne said the “Inferi were heading to the town”, which... no, Anne calls Feldcroft a hamlet, not a town and that line just doesn't exist! And they said Ominis approved of Anne getting Solomon and said, “I completely forgot, Anne's going to get Solomon.” but what he actually said was “I was so worried about Sebastian. I didn't even realise - Anne's gone to get Solomon.” Completely different meaning! I was like “please play the game again, you're hallucinating” and they called that an ad hominem.

They said there's a special Rehab Azkaban for minors that has no dementors (since when!?) where kids get to leave unharmed (That's some amazing Just World Fallacy, this is a country with slavery, legal racism and no lawyers!), right after saying that Sebastian would be an adult at almost-16 during that time, so this mythical minor-rehab-Azkaban wouldn't take Sebastian anyway! They even say Inferi can't leave their gravesite without being controlled, and then, that Sebastian failed to control the Inferi contradicting their assertion that Inferi were heading to the hamlet. And then they say I'm insulting them by saying they're being contradictory and illogical. Oh, and when I pointed that out, they said the relic was controlling the Inferi not Sebastian, like, controlling them to do what!? By that logic, I can say the gun killed that guy, not me. Wtf-

Then they said it's dangerous and unhealthy to draw conclusions about someone based on how they interact with a fictional character, (even though they said they would rather lock away anyone who isn't “sufficiently repentant” irl too, which sounds good until you realise that they don't think Sebastian was repentant) and that fictional topics should stay in fiction. Like, wtf, fiction is meant to allow us to share and simulate situations, explore, and practice emotions safely so we can learn from the experience and grow as a person, and face reality wiser. I feel like this person would say Star Trek isn't political and shouldn't be compared to real world politics.

God, that was such an awful conversation, they picked a fight with me over a 2 year old thread, refused to leave me alone when I said I'd rather not fight and continued spamming me, said I'm an unpleasant person to converse with (then leave me alone, Jesus), then they accused me of liking my own posts too, and when I went and liked some to show that the 1 like wasn't myself, because, look, I liked it and it's now 2, they said that's evidence that I... was indeed liking my own posts. Like wtf? They say I'm a bad debater, and yeah. You're right, I'm not here to debate. I'm a teacher. So, if you insist on bothering me, what you get is a lecture!

And then two other people came in to pile on me, calling me nasty, an awful person and insufferable without telling me what I've done that is so “nasty”, and refusing to answer when I asked how they would rather I phrase my replies. At least when I say someone is awful, I say why, and it's pretty much only when someone tells me they want to make already suffering people suffer more. Those supporters said they didn't see any wrong quotes or wrong info from the person I argued with, and I am so confused. I feel like I'm the crazy one. What is going on, how can you two agree with this person when they are concerningly saying a 15-year-old is old enough to be treated like an adult!? Then they say I’m rude for saying that has concerning implications of the paedophilic kind. Sorry, but that's where your double standard logically leads.

Then they started mocking my "books" and laughing with each other, yeesh, what is this comically middle school bullying of the nerdy autistic kid shit? And mate, if you think 1k words make a book, I have bad news for you.

Look, we raised the age of adulthood for a reason! We have juvenile court for a reason! We raised the minimum working age for a reason! Children do not yearn for the mines! We abolished “guilty until proven innocent” for a reason! We take dangerous things/info out of reach of kids, not keep them in the easily broken-into Restricted Section! We don't just judge radicalised kids and lock them up in a torture chamber with dementors, we figure out how it happened and understand it, to prevent it from happening again.  We rehabilitate them and offer them compassion, dignity and support. Hell, it's usually depression causing the problems and you want to throw the kid in depression central? Even if you think there's a non-Azkaban rehab, mental hospitals in the 1890s were also torture chambers!

Who decides who is unsaveable and who isn't!? Who is repentant and who isn't!? This person decided on their own that Sebastian will 100% kill again, when the person he killed in the heat of battle- when Solomon attacked Sebastian emotionally for years and then physically. They even said that Sebastian blamed Anne for leaving him when Sebastian explicitly said, “I can't blame her. I couldn't really blame any of you if you gave up on me entirely. You all believed in me. And I let you all down.”

I tried so hard to get them to realise that there was nothing Sebastian could have done to convince them he'd changed and was worthy of a second chance, that they'd already judged him, closed the possibility in their mind and given him a task that was impossible, because they'd already decided that he was unsaveable. That they are more fixated on punishment than reform. That they simply want justice without compassion.

They gave him an exam with a pass grade of 130/100. He has no chance and that's not fair. (Which ironically, was the same thing they did to me with the "likes" thing, they seemed to think I was pissed about that because I cared about... honestly, I don't know, I don't see what the point of that would have been, but the thing that actually pissed me off was that there was no way to convince them that I didn't like my own replies. Even though I have zero reason to do such a thing and have proven it by actively using my one like to bring it to 2.)

But they literally went, “I'm done reading your essays, I'm right and you're wrong.” I can never get over how painful that is, to face a person who slams the door in my face after I spent so much effort trying to reach them sincerely and honestly. Called insufferable because I refuse to bend my principles, my belief that everyone deserves mercy and a second chance. I plead for kindness, and they get angry instead and say I'm, “nauseatingly full of yourself” and “talking down on people”.

I'm on my knees bro- I'm not talking down on you, I am begging you, for the people around you, the children you say you are in charge of caring for. You don't know how painful it is to not be believed when you are trying to change. When you know you've made a mistake you can't take back, and you want to repent and make up for it, but nobody believes you or gives you the chance to. To be accused of crocodile tears or purposely fucking up or not trying.

To just be punished, made an example of, and hung out to dry as a child. To be given up on, betrayed by those you thought you could count on. To realise your best was never enough, could never have been enough. That you were doomed to fail from the start, and nobody cares that that was your best.

I know those people wouldn't even read this, but you who are reading please understand that, in the face of all that…

Death is preferable.

[cheesenames]

AO3 Wrapped: Writer's Edition

I was tagged by the lovely @batrachised and I will learn from her example by just skipping questions I find boring

Words written this year: 27,893

Works written this year: 8 (a nice even split of 4 for each of the fandoms I write in)

Work Most Proud of: It almost feels like cheating to use a collaborative work, but I'm really pleased with Bioethically Speaking, Mr. Sheev. I feel like I've already said this a zillion times, but figuring out how to tell a story and show characters' personalities within the limits of the format (email chains) was a challenge I enjoyed + I think it turned out well

Work with Most Hits: Conveniently also Bioethically Speaking

Fav title: "may they never forsake you" came from a poem that's been bouncing around my head for more than a year, so I'm glad I finally found a place to use it

Pairing You Wrote the Most For: I barely write romance at all, but this year I've got an in-progress fic where Anidala just keep getting married again and again and again, so they win by default

What Work was the Quickest To Write: I'm pretty sure Set her up for ever took less than 30 minutes

What Work Took You Longest To Write: Two of the three multi-chapter fics I started this year remain unfinished, so probably those. I was so sure I was going to finish one of them before Halloween...........

How Many WIPS do you have for next year: Besides the two fics from question 8, I've got 3 stories I've started drafting and no guarantee that I'll finish any of them. I would also really like to try writing a story not in English next year, though I've got no ideas connected to that goal yet

Longest Work of the Year: boring, next

Shortest Work of the Year: boring, next

Fav character to Write: Anyone I can make fun of a little bit. Lately the main targets of that have been Mr. Bennet (???) and Anakin Skywalker

Which work of yours have you re-read the most: Probably that dream within a dream because I have to remember what I've written so I can continue it lol

Total Kudos this Year: boring, next

Total Hits This Year: boring, next

Total Bookmarks This Year: comedically skewed by a single fic, next

Total Subscriptions This Year: I'm actually not skipping this one because I don't understand why 58 people subscribed to a bunch of one-shots. I'm not complaining, it's very flattering, I just feel a little bad that they're not going to get any more

What Do You Listen To While Writing: silence <3

Fav line or passage: Uhhhhhhhhhhh. I have various lines that amused me (to everyone's detriment, I do think I'm funny) but I feel like my favorite is from a fic that generally underwhelmed me? It was one of those situations where I couldn't get the idea out of my head without writing it, but I knew going in that I would probably not be able to write it in a way that satisfied me. But we try anyway, and maybe next year I'll revisit the concept to try it again. Anyway, here's Obi-Wan and Sabé being mean to each other post-RotS:

“I fought him off, I got her off the planet, I held her hand while she—” Obi-Wan took a deep breath, realizing how dangerously close he’d come to spilling another secret. “While she died. And all that time, you were safe on Naboo, not even knowing she was in danger.” “Fought him off? He’s alive, and you’re alive, and she’s dead, and you expect me to laud you for your supposed heroics?” “It was more than you did!” “And whose fault was it,” Sabé spat, “that she was ever in danger in the first place? Who brought that viper into her life, who trained it to act docile so she’d never expect the attack? We both know what he’s done, and you’re still lamenting him?” “I know what this is,” Obi-Wan said nastily. “It’s the jealousy again. She made one decision without you, and you never forgave her, and you can’t stand that I proved myself more loyal to her—to both of them.”

No-pressure tagging @animazi , @midnight-melancholiaaa , @twicesonnet , @wlwanakin plus anyone else who sees this and wants to do it (because I surely would have tagged you if I’d made the connection between your tumblr and ao3 usernames)

[simpingandshitposting]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Two ppl actually tagged me in this so thank you @malewifetouya and @happyely 🖤🖤🖤

Sadly some of my most favorite projects are ones that are still sitting in my drafts unfinished 😭 but out of all the ones I've posted these are the ones I'm most proud of <3

"Come Home" — Deku:

I don't even know if this would be considered a fic?? Cuz honestly this was such a short little thing that I wrote in under like 15 minutes 😭 probably the shortest amount of time it's taken me to ever write literally anything. But it was after I watched S6 E136 and literally that night I had a dream where this whole scene was played out in my head. And it just felt so dramatic in the right ways and just raw emotion that I had to write it down. And it's STILL my most liked post on this entire blog😭 but honestly understandable bc sometimes I go back and read it and I'm just like "damn wait I wrote that????" lmfaoo

"Only for you, Toshi" — Shinsou:

Completely opposite from the last one, this is actually the longest thing I've ever written. (that's posted anyway, there's a few longer still in my drafts) I just feel like Shinsou doesn't get enough love but he definitely deserves it😭❤️ all my friends that read it said they really enjoyed it and I'm just really happy with how it came out after working on it for a couple weeks, and that not touching it for a few months and then coming back to it only to finish it in like 2 days lmao

"Attention" — Dabi:

Now this wouldn't be a post about my fics if I didn't include something for my absolute favorite character in the entire show🖤 this fic was very self indulgent bc I'm such a brat🤭 and I'm convinced that Dabi is the king of brat taming. Fun fact, the outfit I described is something I literally own in my closet 😂

"Secrets" — BakuDeku x reader [UNFINISHED]:

This is a multi-part series I'm co-writing with my bsf @haru-x-ren on a joint account we made. (@bunny-x-haru if you'd like to follow) it's currently still a work in progress with only a few parts released, but it is a continuation of a 2 part fic I wrote when I first started called "You're the Only Thing That Makes Sense" — Bakugo So I do recommend reading this one first before Secrets for context and background info. I feel like you can really see my growth in writing from then to now, cuz that was like literally the second thing I ever posted lol. And Haru was literally my biggest fan bc he's the one that got me into writing fanfic<3 so after he read it, he had this absolutely BRILLIANT idea (spoiler) to take the scene I wrote where bakugo and deku were caught fighting after school hours (similar to that scene from season....2? When Bakugo learned about OFA) and turn it into a BakuDeku love triangle and I was honestly obsessed with the idea

And lastly

"For Your Eyes Only" — Dabi:

Another one for my fav<3 this one was for his birthday and is very nasty🤭 also with a little bit of fluff at the end bc I am indeed a hopeless romantic with no romance🥲 also, the cover photo is most definitely the reaction I was imagining when he walks into the room lmao

Side Note:

I know it's been a while since I've posted any writing and I am so sorry 😭 I guess I've just been in a little bit of a funk when it comes to my creativity lately. I mean I've got plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of ideas written down, but Im having a hard time executing them and turning them into something I can post. But I promise I'll get back to posting as soon as I can and I'm really sorry to everyone who has been waiting for stuff😭 I appreciate your patience❤️

Here's 5 other writers I recommend<3

@cathwritestragediesnotsins @aquadenks @kemakoshume @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic + any other writers who'd like to make ur own posts<3

[flowerslut]

shamefully despite how easily i am influenced i have not made my way through your ao3 catalogue. where would be a good starting point? (licking kink not required but always appreciated)

wow thanks for giving me an excuse to make a compilation of my (shorter) twilight fics that I want more people to read!!!!! ok ok so all my best favorite ones (minus call of the night. we are pretending call of the night does not exist, okay? dont think about it. dont even look at it) are my mid-length ones. now, first and foremost: I am an angst writer, and boy do I love to whump on alice and jasper, so in no particular order, you should read these fun little jalice fics while you wait for me to update roots over the next few weeks/months

North Star

rated: M words: 20,336 chapters: one-shot summary: "He’s the Eye of the South. The god of war. Master of battle and oracle of death. He’s not just the most dangerous weapon the world has ever seen, but he’s a man in love. And combining those two just makes this so much worse. Jasper sees a girl in his head, and he's afraid of what comes next."

thoughts: okay i lied, they are in a particular order. or at least this one is. this is my favorite twilight fic I've written (I think) and I got dramatic as fuck with it. written for jalice week back in 2021, the prompt was "power/ability swap" and you get exactly that: jasper is the psychic, alice is the empath, everything else is the same... or is it? this is also notably the first fic I ever sent to someone (g, obviously) to look over/give corrections to, so that might be why it has fewer stupid grammatical/sentence structure issues than most of my other stuff (minus roots). content warning for physical abuse, implied sexual assault, and mild sexual content. (also on ff.net)

The Almost Quiet

rated: T words: 10,365 chapters: one-shot summary: "He wants to blame loneliness, but maybe this is what was meant for him all along. A long road that leads to a depressing end. Longing after a girl he doesn’t know whose mind is lost."

thoughts: the last line of this fic is my personal favorite one I've written in recently memory! anyways this is an all-human AU, (sort of). in 1920, alice and jasper meet as humans and jasper's job gets much harder after that. this one is far from the best on this list, but it's entertaining, angsty, and has a satisfying ending imo. content warning for forced institutionalization and ableist language. (also on ff.net)

Déjà-rêvé

rated: T words: 6,551 chapters: one-shot summary: "It's nothing Alice had ever seen. It was no vision, no dream. It was only a possibility that had haunted the back of her mind like a nightmare for as long as she'd known what was out there for her to fear. Jasper had never known about this fear until it became their reality."

thoughts: this is the shortest one on this list, and since you like roots, you'll probably like this. its vaguely similar in that it's a whumpy post-breaking dawn AU, but this is only a snippet of an aftermath in which alice loses her power. wrote it for secret santa 2022 and had a BLAST with it. (if you want more whumpy one-shots my ao3 is chock full of whumptober prompts)

No Friend of Mine

rated: T words: 15,199 chapters: one-shot summary: "He contemplates telling Peter about Alice’s visits, but something holds him back from doing it. Perhaps because it doesn’t feel like Alice whenever she’s lying on his bedroom floor, curled in an old blanket that’s too small for him but perfectly sized for her, utterly still and silent even while awake. A part of him feels like it would be a betrayal to reveal this side of her to someone even as close to him as Peter is. After all, Peter is his friend. And Alice is… well, not."

thoughts: I think this fic is severely underrated, but maybe that's because I literally came up with the concept and wrote it over the course of a day and a half or something insane like that, and I think that for a hastily written secret santa gift from 2020, it holds up sooo well. it's an all-human AU where alice is the weird new girl, and like always, jasper is in way over his head. all the cullens get a role, it has the 'fluffiest' moments, and its faaaantastic. content warning for child abuse.

The Hunted

rated: T words: 26,664 chapters: 11 summary: "It's not so wise if you try to run."

thoughts: this one is the most self-indulgent (with the most questionable characterization tbh) based on g's post from 2019 that says 'twilight, but when bella slips away from jasper and goes to the ballet studio to meet james, he isn’t there. he waited until everyone split up in the airport, and then went for alice instead. in the ensuing chaos, while everyone is freaking out, victoria grabs bella.' this is the only one on the list I might take a look at in the future to rewrite chunks of, but it's great fun your honor. ignore what anyone else tells you about the ending. but make sure to keep this short sequel/epilogue handy, for... reasons. (also on ff.net)

A Loyal Wife

rated: M words: 21,930 chapters: 5 summary: "Alice is only a Lady because she was forced to be one. She much rather preferred being untitled. Just a constant in this strange family of women. Girls both grown and not, betrothed to the man who protects and spoils them. Quickly the newborns realize that Alice is more weapon than wife, and that suits her just fine."

thoughts: last but certainly not least is my attempt at 'jalice enemies-to-lovers' that I wrote over the course of two days while on vacation. this story has everything: southern wars, a marriage cult, weird power dynamics, and [checks notes] trying to seduce your enemy mid-fight. this is another one of my favorites, and maybe the messiest (affectionate) as far as story content goes (of course, minus roots). content warnings for sexual assault/dubious consent.

[compo67]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

How many works do you have on ao3?

266. I know most of that is The Chicago Verse.

What's your total ao3 word count?

Aha! I am at 2,100,134. (I used to write sooo much from 2014-2017.)

What fandoms do you write for?

Just Supernatural and its RPF. I dabbled in the MCU with Spideypool fic, but have since not returned to it, nor do I have plans to.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They Met at the Photo Op Booth (J2): 2,082

House of Gold (J2): 1,680

Garbage (J2): 1,533

Like a Small Boat (J2): 1,447

Put Your Hands Where Mine Are (Wincest): 1,303

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, very much! Especially if a reader has a question or points out a specific thing they liked in the fic.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh gosh, let's see. Probably "It Takes a lot of Water." Or maybe "The Shortest Distance." There's not really a "happy" ending in either of those fics. They're hopeful endings, but come at a large cost.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say that's either Punzel or They Met at the Photo Op Booth. Both have such sweet, hopeful, joyous endings.

Do you get hate on fics?

I think it's happened less than five times since I've been writing for fandom. A couple (a few?) of people left rude comments on Back Pocket 1 because of how I chose to portray Jensen in that fic (he is close to 400 lbs in that verse). One person left hate on Model of the Solar System. I think someone sometime recently? (maybe?) left something negative on a TCV fic. So no, it generally doesn't happen to me, but when it does, man, I remember it.

Do you write smut?

Yep! I used to post a lot on the spnkinkmeme back in the day, probably around 2015. It was such a great time in fandom. Anyway, yes, certainly, absolutely.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not. Except this one time. Yes, I wrote a Harry Potter/SPN crossover fic. But nothing ever came of it. I'm not even going to link it, I don't even remember the title.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. Readers do let me know when they've seen my fic somewhere it shouldn't be (like on Goodreads).

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! It floors me every time I get a request to do that! :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh, how do I choose between J2 and Wincest??? Ugh. I guess. Well. Considering... oh, hell. I don't have to choose. :P

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh, goodness. Well, I make it a goal of mine to not abandon fics. Unfortunately, it just happens sometimes. There's Letter to Follow, which has only been available on Patreon since I started writing it back in 2019/2020. It's my time traveling J2 fic. I remember writing for it during the very first few weeks of covid. I learned so much physics for that fic. But alas, I needed/wanted to move on so I left it where it is. I hope I can return to it one day.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and setting the scene. :)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. That goddamn plot. (And pacing at the end of a fic.)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Love it. Love a challenge. Love how it works into the story.

First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, back when I was 14 or 15 years old.

Favorite fic you've written?

Ahh how do I choose?! I can't. I have such a fondness for them all. <3

[veterveter]

2022 Writers' Review

I was tagged by @lavandulacosmos - thank you most kindly!!! 🥺💕

1. What is your AO3 account?

Call me by my name - it's veterveter

2. How many words did you write total in 2022?

Ao3 says 58,634, and I wanna say Google Docs has maybe 25k more. I didn't actually write that much stuff that I didn't end up publishing, this time. Also, I didn't write almost anything for the first half of the year - I almost thought I was cured of my hyperfixation, had other things in my life, and then??? Idk, I was hit by the idea of romanticising summer in a fic format, and it was all downhill from there again.

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

6, and they were all one-shots, because if I write something chaptered again... yell at me, for I'll probably never finish it.

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest?

controtempo was the longest at 14,600 words, realistically I could've probably written more of it if it weren't for working on a deadline etc. But I think it's a pretty good version of itself, not to mention that there's sometimes a certain sense of artistry in having to cut these things a little short. Stops one from meandering too much. Anyway, a fire in the flask was the shortest, at 4,441.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

swimming with the sharks (until we drown) and a fire in a flask, respectively. Both deserved, I think.

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

Eh, no such thing this time! They got what they deserved.

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

swimming with the sharks (until we drown) - I've come around to thinking it's pretty good, but I had such stress about whether anyone would like it when I posted it, so. Stepping out of one's comfort zone is very difficult.

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

controtempo!! That was a labour of love, it was my preferred storytelling style and obviously there's something special about writing for a dear friend, so. But I'll give an honorary mention to the only thing that's ever stopping me is me - as previously mentioned, it dragged me back to the whole writing thing, and I'll admit it's been nice. And for artistic merit, I'd say a form of divine drunkenness. There was something quite poetic about it, to me, and I think it was... It was kinda cool.

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

That would be what we do in the dark by @sorrydearie. I don't suppose I've anything to say about it that I haven't already said in several different fonts formats and mediums, but I really love that one. 🔪

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

I've seen this doing the rounds for a while now but if you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged! ❤️

[sunriseverse]

AO3 Wrapped 2024 (Writer's Edition)

tagged my @killerandhealerqueen (thanks sass!)(putting this below the cut for length)

1. How many words have you written this year?

214,910 at the moment! not sure i'll hit 250k for the year but that was more of a stretch goal anyway, 200k+ is still perfectly fine

2. How many works did you publish this year?

45 apparently? more than i had expected!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

any of my femslash fics probably i love writing femslash. gets far less attention than my slashfic but whatever i'm writing for myself and my circle of like three beloved mutuals and only their opinions matter

4. What work of yours has the most hits? 

we have not long to love which is also my all-time highest hitcount fic (5,527) and my second zmyx/nanqiu fic i think?

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i wasn't expecting nie huaisang and the no good, very bad day to get a ton of attention but i've loved seeing the trickle of comments ever since i posted it (funny fact it started off as a tumblr shitpost and then someone reblogged it and i was like [dramatic sigh] fine i'll write it)

6. Favorite title you used? 

i'm partial to this wild, beautiful thing just because i really liked writing it and i think the title fits well

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? 

i don't think i used any more preferentially, even though i used multiple song lyrics for titles? but i've used like four or five lines from louise glück's poem "sunrise", which lent its name to my massive dmbj au

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? 

nanqiu i think. unsurprising because i've written so fucking much for the fandom. i'm like a pillar of the ao3 tag unfortunately

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? 

barsalai/shizuka from the ascendancy series! i was stunned to find no one else had ever written anything for the series? i'd proselytise this series if i could because i want more people writing for it so i can read fanfic for it

10. What work was the quickest to write? 

any of my femslash march fics, i confined myself to only allowing myself to write each fic in one day

11. What work took you the longest to write? 

probably ghost rhythms which was in and out of my wip roster for months on end before i finished it at the start of the year

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? 

far far too many :') like a dozen or so, maybe more, if you include the wips that i have partially posted that still need to be finished

13. What’s your longest work of the year? 

currently my main sunrise fic tsl (15,655) which will be probably at least 50k when i finish it in two to ten years because my minimum chapter count is 5k

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? 

somewhere in time (118) which was a last-minute piece for one of my femslash march days

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

tsl (a sunrise fic), don't die wondering! (fem tdj fic), the last and final translation of love (fem zmyx), and sitwyltme (zmyx psychiatric au)...........tsl and sitwyltme being ones without a hard end chaptercount so god knows when those will be finished.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? 

for 2024..........who knows. probably "alternative universe - always a different sex" though because i've been letting myself have fun and do lesbianism

17. Your favorite character to write this year? 

love writing wu xie and ruan nanzhu and lin qiushi..............................their heads are just so interesting

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

none of them i think? i'm pretty good at writing characters

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

i'd love to write something for the radiant emperor series (ma/zhu) or any of the cnovels i'm reading (devil venerable, wang qiuxian, wg, mo du, etc)

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

i think i reread my fem nanqiu fics the most, i love them

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? 

3,079 apparently

22. Which work has the most comments?

also my nhs fic, but we have not long to love is in second place

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i do not, i'm not someone who usually does collaborations just because i don't really like having to work around other peoples' styles etc (also coordinating it is so much work)

24. Did you write any gifts this year? 

i did! i love writing giftfics for people, usually i'll discuss an idea with people and then write it for them based on what we talked about :) i also like writing fics as birthday and friendiversary gifts

25. Did you receive any gifts this year? 

i did! four or five i think? i love all of them :)

26. What’s your most common category? 

m/m but that's overall because i wrote so much newmann for pacrim. f/f is most in my heart though

27. What do you listen to while writing? 

whatever youtube recommends in my mix so at the moment it's mandopop and various amvs

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

really really had a lot of fun writing my fem aus

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? 

i cannot choose but i think my fem aus have the best writing honestly.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? 

people calling my writing good! i don't think my writing is bad but i often forget others read it because i don't get a lot of comments

tagging: all my followers and mutuals who write fic! i'd love to see you alls' stats :)

[nativestarwrites]

Hi! I'm comin' through, dishing out ao3 wrapped questions like candy from parade floats. How about:

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

15.What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Yes I could go back and put those questions in numerical order buuuuttt I'm going to just be lazy and leave them. If someone already asked one of these, please substitute in another question of your choice!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? I think its a draw between two. Buried in Broken Dreams because I think I really nailed the plot and emotions with that one, and I absolutely love some of the dialogue in that one. And also, All of Your Pieces because before this year my longest fic was about 8k and although this is still a wip I have 21k written out of what will probably be around 30k. But the reason I'm proud is less word count and more what I've learned through it about structuring a longer story, creating OCs and fixing plot issues. The fact that I will have a readable fic of that length posted soon is something I'm very proud of.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? A lot! Technically I have about 90+ wips in my folder... I'm not sure I'll get anything else posted this year, it'd be nice to get the first chapter of my garden fic out but if there's one thing I've learnt this year it's that I tend to overestimate how ready I am to start posting multi-chapter wips!

The ones I'm hopefully going to finish/update soon in the new year are 'Garden fic', 'Nefarious Project II', 'Ever Since You've Been Gone' , 'All of your Pieces' and 'The Magical Place'.

10. What work was the quickest to write? The quickest were probably the flashfics I wrote earlier in the year so thanks for organising that Rosie! I think A Deep Breath might have been the quickest, its the shortest anyway, so I'm going with that!

Thanks for the questions!

[undeniablyares]

This was a fun little post that was going on around Twitter that I wanted to share here for those that follow me here. ✨

1. Accidentally Demonic. It is hands down my favorite fic of mine to read and write, and I only have 3 chapters out currently. Just based on the overall tone, what I've done so far, and what's to come based on my chapter maps/planning, I think it will be one of my best works ever. Y'all are really in for it.

2. Accidentally an Oiran is my most popular fic. The sheer amount of support, engagement, and interest will forever be mind-boggling to me. It was my first long fic, my first Akaren story I started, it brought me out of my shell and introduced me to all you amazing people within the KNY fandom. It will always hold a special place in my heart, and I'm forever grateful for all of you that enjoy it. 🔥❄️

3. Breathe. It's weird, sad af, and wildly out of character, but I think we need more Senjuro-centered fics. I adore character studies, and a badass, dark version of Senjuro is just so fucking cool. I also think it's the most mature thing I've written as I try to characterize a tough, clever, slayer Senjuro who is fueled by grief and spite. I'm dying to get back to it so I can keep the plot going.

4. I am such a sap for the childhood friends to lovers trope in romance/erotica. I'm also into that weird, one-sided pining where the other is an idiot and doesn't realize their friend has always been in love with them until much later, then falls for the friend and it becomes mutual pining until one nuts up and finally confesses. Confusing slow burns have me in a chokehold. 😅🥲

5. Soulmates alternate universes are probably my least favorite trope to read or write. This likely stems from my own spiritual beliefs and ideas about the universe, more than anything else. Not bashing the idea at all, as it's adorably romantic, it's just not my favorite. Reincarnation alternate universe ideas are different, though. I'll fuck with a reincarnation au anytime. 😅

6. I have a longer fic idea that I want to do with either a slayer Akaza or Hakuji and Pillar Kyo, where Kyo gets turned into a demon at the beginning and Akaza/Hakuji has to fight to try and find a cure for him, or like a Tokyo Ghoul sort of scenario that rewrites Mugen Train to have Kyo survive from a makeshift transfusion of Akaza's blood and becoming a half-demon from it. (I really love demon Kyo ideas 🫣)

7. Accidentally an Oiran is my longest fanfic currently, but not my longest work ever. I write original fiction that's longer that is dark fantasy/horror and erotica with LGBTQ+ characters that I am currently editing and hoping to actually publish one day.

8. Snake Eyes, the Akaren Week mythology prompt, is currently my shortest fic.

9. My list of collaborations that I inwardly pine for consists of working with some of my favorite Akaren writers, but I'm far too nervous to ever initiate anything with anyone else. My faves are GremlinCat, Blueberrybagel, saigne, OllieWritesAll, GodlessOx, and BTS2016dia on AO3. I can dream, anyway. 😅🫣 That being said, all Akaren is good Akaren. I am always down to collab with anyone about anything Akaren at any time. This also goes for artists that are interested in me writing stories to go along with their art or comics. My DMs are literally always open to anyone. 😌

10. My most used tags are Kyojurou lives, porn with plot/feelings, and anal. I am a predictable man with fine tastes. 😂

11. My AO3 account is linked at the bottom. The update schedule is going to be, for the very near future: Ch. 3 of Bad Pillar, the Wet and Messy | Massages | Body Worship Akaren Kinktober prompt, Dubiously Married Part 3, and chapters 3 for Accidentally Human and Accidentally Reborn. The 2023 update schedule will likely consist of more with the Accidentally Routes, the longer modern au BDSM Akaren fic I'm planning, and the Demon Rehab fic. Stay tuned, friends. Trying to feed y'all well. 😌

https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndeniablyAres/works

[liesonthefloordramatically]

(sorry this is on anon but i'm shy :'))

Literally every time I find an amazing JJBA fic and scroll down to leave an extremely long gushy comment, I find that you've done the same. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that we must have the exact same taste in extremely niche gen trauma fics. I've already made my way through your entire list of fics (which are all terrific of course) and I was wondering if you possibly had any recs?

Anon, this is the funniest thing in the world; I am SO tickled that you and I are apparently hopping through the same extremely niche gen trauma fic circles.

Okay! Extremely niche gen trauma fic (below a cut because this is absurdly long and in no particular order):

Come Together (post-VA, Giorno-centric)

on your way (post-VA, Mista & Trish)

here comes the first step (post-SO, Jotaro & Jolyne)

Eleuseos (pre-SDC, Kakyoin's mom-centric, JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE)

running with the wolves (post-VA, Trish-centric)

I Don't Live Today (VA, Fugo-centric, this fic messed me up in the best way)

a dagger for impetuousness (VA, Fugo & Bruno)

circle of life (SO, Emporio & Anasui, this is not strictly speaking trauma fic except in the ways it is)

undertow (post-VA, Giorno-centric)

Space Boy's Dream (SO, Rykiel-centric, AGAIN JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE)

Your Ghost (post-SDC, Holly-centric)

the sun is the same (in a relative way) (post-SDC, Jotaro & Polnareff)

lion's share (post-VA, Trish-centric)

queen of swords (BT, the Lisa Lisa character study you never knew you wanted)

no shade in the shadow of the cross (post-SBR/JJL, Johnny & Lucy Steel)

Fluency: Revised Edition (post-SO, Jolyne-centric)

Untitled (1980-2014) (SDC to SO, Jotaro-centric)

no time for fairy tales (DIU, Yukako-centric, yelling about this fic 24/7)

Some bonus fics that aren't quite genfic but are still worth the read:

New York and London, 1880-2010 (Speedwagon-centric, this fic genuinely made me cry in the best way and I think about it constantly and it's a huge shame that it doesn't have a bigger readership)

from yesterday comes tomorrow (post-SDC, Jotaro & Polnareff)

here, again (also post-SDC, Jotaro & Polnareff)

what is living is burning (post-SDC, Jotaro/Kakyoin, there's a scene in this that is seared into my brain forever)--actually just read all of desertmint's fics, you can thank me later

mix of gen and not (but all trauma all the way down), but Broodthaers's fics are generally super interesting (VA and post-VA, mostly)

dialect (VA, Fugo/Mista/Giorno)--myrkks's fics are generally very good

a soft place to fall (VA, Trish-centric)--another one where I rec everything the author has written

this love ain't made for the faint of heart (post-SDC, Holly-centric)--but also you should just read librisdedita's fics! for that good open-wound trauma mood!

House of Four Doors (post-VA, Bruno/Abbacchio, two mentally ill people falling in love :') )--obviously you should be reading kawauso if you aren't already

The Shortest Route Was a Detour (SBR, Johnny/Gyro, I am SUCH a sucker for interactive fiction)

tidal volume (JJL, Josefumi-centric)

Eventuality (BT, Joseph/Caesar...sort of, ITERATIVE STORYTELLING!!!!! *rattles the table vigorously*)

Anyway, that's probably enough to get you started, haha.

(Also totally respect the anon--I am also painfully shy and VERY bad at initiating conversations--but I promise I am very friendly if you ever want to talk off anon!)

[eileeny]

1 and 12 and 23 and 25! 🥰💖

@hersilentlanguage thanks for asking!

fav fic written this year:

love's not a feeling (it's a choice)

it's not my longest fic (might be my shortest, actually), and stats-wise it's also not the best, but I love the concept of it more than I probably should. very proud of it.

fav character to write about this year:

probably jay. why? no clue. just. the depth. the breadth. the whole 'I look like muscle but I'm so much more than that and it's okay if no one sees it because that's to my advantage' thing. the 'I've been programmed to steal anything valuable my entire childhood' thing. the family dynamics (including the lack of a mom). the loyalty. the flirting. just. all of it.

fics you wanted to write but didn't:

listen I have so many ideas... but I think the one I want to write the most is this university/reincarnation au (because, as a certified overachiever, I can never be satisfied with just one trope) where they're all reborn and they somehow end up at the same university.

evie and jay both remember everything, and both are there on scholarships - evie's is academic, jay's is athletic (it's a fairly prestigious school). they 'meet' at orientation for the scholarship students and find each other pretty much immediately.

carlos only remembers fragments, and he has none of the context. his parents can afford to send him to the university, and he likes the challenge of the classes, so his decision is made as soon as the admissions letter is sent out.

mal doesn't have any memories. all she has are habits that won't be broken, even across lifetimes, and impressions of others who should be watching her back but aren't there. her mom is a fancy politician who makes her choose a nice school so she just picks the least pretentious one.

in a massive coincidence, uma (who does, in fact, remember, and knows exactly who evie and jay are, too) is her roommate. all she really wants is to find harry and gil, because if the core four have all been reincarnated, then why not her crew too?

anyways this has gotten far longer than I intended but now that I think about it this would be really fun to write so! that's probably happening at some point.

a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read:

hm. I've read a lot of stuff this year, but I think one everyone should read is you find yourself down the hall again (the lights gone dim) by @itsalwaysforyou (I think)

the entire fic is amazing. I've always thought Coach was one of the few (responsible, mature, stable) adults in the entire franchise on either side of the barrier, and he's obviously such an important influence on Jay after he comes to Auradon. and the writing style. it's very much a character study on Jay, in some of the most poetic prose I have ever had the pleasure of reading, and I am here for it.

thanks for asking! took me a solid two days to answer because I had so much to say oops

[angst-in-space]

17, 28 and 29 for the fic ask!

17. fics you’ll continue next year

definitely the sylvix dreamscape fic, the wenzhou modern au, the matchablossom fic, and the wenzhou post-canon fic! i'd also like to finally update my two incomplete klance multichap fics if possible, i feel so bad that i haven't updated either of those in like 3 years 😖but ha, we'll see

28. longest fic you read this year

"wherever you stray, i follow" by @parchmints (ace attorney / klapollo / 58k)

this fic is so brilliant and gorgeous i don't have the words.... jessie always blows me away with her work and this au truly illustrates what an amazing writer she is! it's the longest fic i read this year and also just one of my fave fics ever, it's so beautifully written and romantic and has such intricate world-building as well. cannot recommend it enough 😤💕

29. shortest fic you read this year

"it'll rain today" by mayflymusic (sk8 the infinity / renga / 1.7k)

i'm not sure this is the shortest fic i've read this year but just skimming through the first few pages of my bookmarks it was the shortest one i noticed at first glance (but i probably forgot to bookmark a lot of short fics tbh 😭) anyway! this one was so so cute and i still think about it often, it's a cute little au where reki & langa meet at a bus stop. i loved it so much!! 🥺

fanfic end of the year asks