#anyway this is gonna last a week isnt it funny ahahahaha

[c0smiccom3t]

Okay people. Summer (The worst season imaginable)'s right around the corner and so is d.d's second anniversary so... CHOOSE!!

[jojofurkmelifu]

Steven and the Diamonds

White Diamond: Yes I will look at the memory data on this Pearl *looks at it* Steven:So anything? White Diamond:Quite the adventure you have been on Pink Diamond, no Rose Quartz Steven:Rose Quartz? White Diamond:Oh sorry I meant STEVEN UNVIERSE *Steven shits his pants* Steven:Um I can explain White Diamond:No need you thing I understand exactly what you are, but the fact something of your existence has set foot in my presence really bothers me Steven:I guess I'll just be going now heh heh White Diamond:No stay Blue Diamond:Huh shes not Pink? Yellow Diamond:Where is PInk? Tell us Rose! White Diamond:Thats not Rose you idiots, Rose is just one of Pink's many alter egos she tricked us for thousands of years Blue Diamond:So she never died? Yellow Diamond:What? What? Then what is that thing down there? White Diamond:Some sort of combination of gem and organic from Earth identified as the sound "Steven Universe" Blue Diamond:So thats what you meant by Steven you little! Steven:Diamonds please I can explain White Diamond:Calm down you two dont make noise in my court *Blue and Yellow shit their pants* White Diamond:Pink my dear Pink perhaps its time I give you a reality check Steven:Huh White Diamond:Millions of years ago I decided to create three constructs to follow my grand creation the gem empire that would one day conquer the entire universe in time. I didnt have to create you three I could have ruled it by myself, GEMS ARE MY CREATIONS NOT YOURS I JUST LOAN THEM TO YOU REMEMBER THAT. It also means you are also mine you do what I say, i gave you life and I can take it away anytime I wish. So the least you ungrateful children can do is MAKE ME HAPPY! Blue and Yellow are wonderful daughters but you you you you ohhhhhh. Im so disgusted I cant even think straight *breathes in* Pink I gave you a colony 900,000 years ago and you messed up big time so I decided to held off giving you one until after you matured. I thought you matured but I was wrong

White Diamond:It seems as though you are unfit for running a colony or commanding gems meaning you have no purpose as a diamond. It means I was wrong I HATE BEING WRONG I HATE IT! Me a perfect being wrong its unfathomable! Three perfect creations that all I asked for! ALL I ASKED FOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The failure of gems dont matter to me but you are my personal creations you must never fail you have to be perfect like me why arent you like me! *she breaks down into tears* Blue:Pink you made White cry Yellow:Steven I know Pink is there I can sense her in you, what do you have to say for yourself Steven:Look I dont know whats really going on here Im just a human from Earth, and Pink Diamond is my mom Im just doing this because I dont want the Earth to be seen as an enemy to the Diamond Authority so could you please leave Earth alone? White Diamond:Leave it alone! That planet is now a reminder of my imperfection it must be eviscerated. Blue:I agree Yellow:Absolutely Steven:Oh no :( White Diamond:So Steven Universe return to your rock and enjoy your last days with your species until their extinction at our hands, and blame no one but your stupid "mother" Pink Diamond for your suffering. Steven:Wait please dont do this, kill me instead leave the people of Earth alone! Blue:Never Yellow:We never let any species that disrespects us live at all its just protocol Steven Universe White Diamond:As for you Pink I can believe Im doing this, you are clearly banned from the Diamond Authority forever. You will be seen as a nongem to all gems form this moment, you will have no diamond privileges, you will not be allowed on any gem controlled territory either. Your court will be split and shared among your sisters, and your planet will be given to either Blue or Yellow but it seems they want to destroy it so Ill just give the entire star system to one of them no need to waste all of that matter.

*Steven breaks down in tears* Steven:Please Ill do anything to make you not destroy Earth Blue:What part of Never can you not understant SteVON Universe? Yellow:Hmphf we are done here now get of this planet White Diamond:Remember you thing this is all Pink Diamond's fault, gather up this worthless Pearl, those "crystal gems" and your pet leave this planet. Never come back or you will be sorry Pink Ill do something far worse than killing you stupid girl. *Blue begins crying* Blue:You went too far this time! It breaks my heart that I cant even consider my sister one of my own anymore but I'll still love you no matter what Pink we just wont see each other anymore forever Yellow:Stupid runt this is goodbye it was fun I guess little sister *Yellow Diamond shows slight signs of sniffling* White Diamond:If you are gonna make that noise do it outside my court! *Blue and Yellow leave* *Steven gets the gang and they take a ship back to earth, the ship self destructs after it leaves them on Earth to ensure they can never get back to Homeworld* *Steven falls to the ground in utter defeat unable to even talk* *Connie begins freaking out about the upcoming gem invasion* *The crystal gems begin crying as well*

*weeks past and Steven is suffering from intense despair and depression over the ordeal* *Greg is sad as well his Stewball is a sad sack* *Back at the temple* Garnet:So its war then a second gem war but we have no forces we need some sort of rebel army Bismuth:We only survived because it was staged by Rose I mean Pink Diamond in real war we cant beat the Diamonds Garnet:So what do we do? Bismuth:Look I know Rose sorry Pink Diamond loved this planet but if it means Im going to be killed for it then Im out Lapis:I agree its just one planet out of many that has water on it Peridot:A logical assertion but Steven really likes this planet so I cant give up on it because hes my friend Lapis:Steven will be really happy with me and him just alone somewhere out there in the cosmos just us two hehehehehe *Bismuth gives a wtf expression* Garnet:Steven cant be reasoned with right now hes pretty down so all we can do is try to make him happish by giving him hope he can stand on Bismuth:Yellow can instantly end us this is not a fight at all its a massacre its like a star fighting an asteroid there just is no chance at victory. Peridot:Maybe the cluster can help? Garnet:Huh? Peridot:Its friends with Steven but the cluster should be able to match the diamonds in power Garnet:Its a gem fusion meaning one hit from Yellow and its over Bismuth:In my fight with the diamonds they are pretty indestructable nothing we used even scratched them and that White Diamond is said to be even more powerful than those two combined and shes coming here too Garnet:Right White Diamond how do we stop her? Lapis:Lets just run away and take Steven with us! Hes gonna outlive all the creatures on this planet anyway but we can live forever with him. Bismuth:I made an oath to Steven Lazuli I cant just betray him Im not his mother Pearl:Uhhh well are there any bright ideas?

Peridot:The only way to beat a diamond is to use a diamond, a diamond has more power than all gem armies put together non fusion wise I mean if we had one we could destroy every army Homeworld throws at us Bismuth:We do? Garnet:Steven isnt Pink Diamond Pearl:Actually the gem on Steven's belly is Pink Diamond so we could bring her back if Steven were dead? But I would never do something like that even if the planet Pink wasted her life on was threatened. Bismuth:Right.... Garnet: If only there was a way to summon Pink without killing Steven, Steven even if he could use Pink's power doesnt have the mindset to really fight the Diamonds we need her Pearl:Well Im not supposed to tell you this but you could talk to her you know *every gem looks at her dumbfounded* Garnet:Pearl why? Why?! Bismuth:You have got to be kidding me I think Im gonna drown my face in some magma again this time for 400 years Peridot:What a revelation! hahaha Lapis:What? Pearl:Im sorry I couldnt really tell you Garnet:Talk to Pink Diamond I dont know Ruby and Sapphire wont like that Bismuth:Its the only way Pearl:Very Well then Ill show you.

*They are in some sort of dimensional space for minds or something* *They see Steven playing in field* Garnet:Steven why are you so cheerful? "Steven":Im always cheerful Garnet I love being human and happy ahahahaha Garnet:Rose Steven:Oh no you found out *Steven morphs into Pink Diamond* PD:So you found out huh? What did you think was it funny? Garnet:Funny? Do you have any idea how many gems died because of you? PD:Oh man you should have seen Blue crying it was hilarious Garnet:Pink why did you start the rebellion? You told me as Rose it was the protect the Earth was that true? PD:This again Garnet I already told you no more questions, but if you wanna know yes I did start the rebellion because all attempts at the Earth being ran my style failed Garnet:Was it worth it? PD:Earth is still here right so yes Ameythst:Uh hey Rose I mean Pink Diamond you are my diamond right so like Im supposed to follow you. PD:No I dont care what you do I dont really care if gems grovel to me Ameythst:Wow you are so much cooler than those duds back on Homeworld PD:My Ameythsts understand me so well Bismuth:You told me that the diamonds are the enemy and that our reward for winning the rebellion was freedom, and yet you bubbled me PD:Bismuth how are you doing, it been thousands of years still making weapons I see Bismuth:Dont change the subject PD:Sigh you have freedom no diamond is telling you what to do right? Theres your freedom embrace it Pearl:My diamond because of your actions planet Earth is at risk PD:What but the faking of my death? Pearl:Unfortunately thanks to your son the diamonds found out about it PD:Oh Steven Pearl:So I ask you what we your orders for the upcoming invasion? PD:I dunno why are you asking me I dont anything about tactics, Rose Quartz was really me thinking up stuff on the fly Im not military person you see Bismuth:Um..... Pearl:My diamond I understand you can be quite whimsical but this is serious

PD:Well nobody told him to talk to my sisters did they? Pearl:My diamond hes only a child he felt guilty over the things you did and he felt it was the best way to save Earth PD:A child ignores what mom and dad keeps hidden from them, I guess Steven's just a bad kid reminds me of myself sometimes Im so proud of him Garnet:Ahem, your sisters are gonna invade this planet what are you plans? PD:I just told you I got no plans Pearl:What if Earth is destroyed? PD:Oh well at least do me a favor stuff my sweet Greg into a pocket space so I can play with him for the rest of time will you Pearl Pearl:You remember the human PD:Oh Greg I miss you so much how I loved your organic tentacles inside of my body! Pearl:Too much information my diamond

(courtesy of /sug/ we need this as you do)