#anyway this has been the most fun ask in a while akdhskdh

[maschotch]

You (justifiably) talk a lot about the team having skewed perceptions of Hotch. Do you think he has any of them?

a fascinating question.. i love this

the simple answer is “yes.” its impossible to have a completely accurate image of someone else, especially if you have a relationship that will automatically alter your perspective of them. he could be the best profiler in the world and still be oblivious to the feelings of those around him

the complicated answer is still “yes” but w a little more nuance. bc i think he considers having a handle on his team’s mental wellbeing an important part of being a leader. the others are bound (to varying extent) by the interteam profiling rule. the expectation is to respect each others privacy, and anything that leads them to pry anyway is either curiosity or concern. hotch doesnt really feel like that applies to him—or at least doesnt hold as high of a priority as maintaining team stability. he’s a hypocrite in that regard, especially bc he hates when they pry into HIS emotional state

he holds himself at arms length from the rest of the team, partly out of self hatred, partly to give him a better understanding of the team’s dynamics. and i think it works to a large degree. i think, overall, he has a much clearer understanding of the others than any other member (other than maybe emily, who holds herself at a greater distance, or gideon if he actually fucking tried). but his self hatred is probably what distorts his perspective the most: he doesnt consciously register his own significance in their lives. for many of them, he’s important in ways other than being unit chief. now he’s not an idiot. he knows they care. its kinda obvious, especially w morgan, reid, and garcia, who all cant help but be transparent w their love. i just dont think he ever allows himself to consider how much.

it may just be easiest to go down the line… hotch’s understanding of morgan is probably the most complicated bc of how long they’ve known each other and bc morgan cares so much ab him—beyond what hotch could believe. so i think hotch knows morgan better than the others in many ways, but there’s a blind spot. a lot of morgan’s conflicts are ab caring too much, so hotch’s willful ignorance in that regard means he doesnt have the best handle on how to navigate their relationship. he doesnt realize how important he is to morgan, and how any little comment can make or break his day. i think it gets easier throughout the seasons as morgan’s feelings become harder to ignore, but particularly in the beginning of season 3 when hotch is about to leave the bau… i genuinely dont think he realizes why morgan is so upset ab it.

with emily i think its the exact opposite. they reach a point of understanding between the two of them ab how much they care about the team, and that was enough for both of them. as long as they know they care ab the team, there’s no need to look any further or get into specifics. hotch doesnt need to think ab their relationship on an individual level bc they both know that, in the end, it doesnt matter as much. knowing that they’d both give anything for the team is enough to earn their complete trust in each other. they’re both private people with parts of their lives they’d like to remain hidden. he doesnt need to concern himself with her past as long as he knows where she stands now (which comes to bite them both in the ass later). so he doesnt have the most well rounded view of her, but he has the clearest understanding of her. if he tried, then i think he’s capable of perceiving more ab her than she’d feel comfortable with, but he’s not going to push her boundaries uncovering a past thats not even relevant

i think the two hotch understands the best are spencer and penelope, which is funny bc if you asked them they’d probably say no one understands them—especially hotch. it helps that they tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but even then, the others have this preconceived notions ab the two of them that skew the way they look at them. but where the rest may see “quirks”, he understands them for who they are. he knows they think in different ways, he knows they have a comfort zone, he knows they have value, but most importantly, he knows they have a hard time dealing w their emotions. hotch is similar, which i think helps a lot, and i think he’s the most capable of reading their mental states and knowing if something is wrong. he may not be equipped to actually help them in a way he’d be satisfied with, but he’s at least aware, which is more than some of the others. (hotch is understanding, not helpful. morgan doesnt understand, but he helps the most. emily is split down the middle) i think thats his greatest failing w them: he doesnt realize how helpful he could actually be. he doesnt realize how meaningful it is for someone to understand them the way he does. he doesnt realize (or doesnt want to realize) just how much they look up to him

in a lot of ways i think hotch knows more ab jj than she knows about herself. she hates to be vulnerable, so he doesn’t acknowledge it often (and it’s when she needs it most that she’s most resistant to it), but i think he sees a lot of himself in her and doesnt want her to make the same mistakes. out of the rest of the team, he’s the least fooled by jj’s confident exterior. which i think she’d normally be disturbed by, but he understands her strengths just as much as her weaknesses, so its easier for her to just not think about it and pretend he’s no different from the rest. she also has no particular attachment to him beyond the normal subordinate-superior dynamic, so there’s nothing for him to shy away from.

he probably has the most well-rounded view of rossi and gideon, if only because of how long they’ve spent together. he knew them before they hardened their shells, he knew them before they’d perfected the art of concealing their true feelings. they both come off as aloof and uncaring at times, but they care in their own ways. its difficult for the others to see or even believe, but hotch just.. knows them. it definitely helps that he knew them while he was maturing as a profiler, meaning he probably spent a lot of time studying them (consciously or not). he might’ve been more hesitant otherwise, but he was testing his abilities as he was figuring out how to act, how to best communicate with them. actually what probably helped the most was that gideon and rossi didnt give a shit about him in the beginning. i mean they cared to an extent, but they’re both kinda self centered and had a lot to work through themselves without bothering to really concern themselves with others. so im not sure hotch has made the mental adjustment by the time the show starts to realize how important he’s become to them. he’d never consider himself to be their surrogate son. partly bc he’d never think that anyway, and partly bc he knew them for decades before they reached that conclusion themselves

hotch is a good profiler. he’s perceptive, observant, and thoughtful. his biggest challenge when deciphering others isnt getting in their heads or understanding their perspective: its coming to terms with the fact that they dont hate him as much as he hates himself. they dont see the flaws he knows he has. when morgan questions him, its not out of doubt but out of concern. when emily backs him up, its not bc she thinks hes weak, its bc she cares ab him. when he makes spencer or penelope cry, its not bc he’s scary or a bad person, it’s bc what he says matters to them more than anything. his skewed perspective of himself is what causes the biggest misunderstandings.