#anyway they're both useless dorks in love the end

[preux-chevalier]

The Fortune Cookie Game

Tahiti fic. This is ridiculous and goofy and totally ignores all inconvenient plot details In The Name Of Fluff. Also available on ao3 here.

They don’t get mail in Tahiti. After all, their team is busy intercepting Fitz before he hits Jupiter, and there aren’t a lot of other people who know about their vacation except her parents - and as much as she loves them, she and Phil had gone to some effort to make sure there was no danger of Lian May dropping in unannounced. It’s relaxing, in a way. No pressure to keep up with the outside world, no bills to pay, no junk mail to throw out. They’re free to focus entirely on each other. So it’s a bit of a surprise when she returns to their cabin after a run to find a postcard taped to the door.

It’s hideous.

Flamingos in an eye-watering shade of hot pink frolic on every available inch of the pictured beach. The sand is bright orange and peppered with seashells that look straight out of clip art. The caption is somehow even more garish than the rest of the postcard, and Melinda has to blink a few times before she can read it.

She pulls it off the door and walks inside to find Phil lounging in their bed with a book, covered only by a sheet and looking very pleased with himself.

“Really, Phil?” She holds it up. “Wish You Were Here?”

“It’s true,” he says, stretching languidly. “I felt very abandoned.”

Melinda forces herself to keep her eyes on his face instead of watching the flex of muscle under his tanned skin. “I was gone for less than an hour.”

“I know, it was awful.”

His mischievous grin is so goofy that she can barely keep a straight face. “It’s like living with a needy puppy,” she grumbles, sitting down on the edge of the bed to take her running shoes off.

“But you love me,” Phil croons, winding his arms around her middle and kissing her neck.

The last thing Melinda wants is to encourage his ridiculousness, but he’s recently had occasion to become very familiar with all the ways she likes to be touched, and she can’t help but lean into it a little. “I regret telling you that,” she mock-sighs, and Phil laughs against her skin.

“You can’t take it back,” he says. “You said it out loud and everything.”

“Can’t I?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.” His hands have burrowed underneath her shirt, warm hands pulling her back to lean against his chest. Melinda suppresses a noise as his thumbs brush maddeningly against the underside of her breasts. “I’d feel pretty stupid if I said I loved you and you changed your mind.”

“Maybe you should say it a few more times to convince me.”

It’s meant to tease, not challenge, but Phil clearly takes it as one: he draws her chin towards him until their lips are scarcely more than a breath apart. “I love you,” he whispers against her mouth, more rumble than actual words.

Melinda snorts. He’s not getting away with that. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

Phil bites her lip in retaliation. “Here I am, trying to be romantic,” he grouses, tone completely at odds with how blatantly his hand is dipping below her waistband. She shivers slightly as he activates the vibration setting. “This is the part where you swoon at how suave I am and let me ravish you in the moonlight. All the romance novels say so.”

“It’s nine in the morning and you’re groping me wearing nothing but a sheet.”

“The height of sex appeal,” he protests. She’s laughing when he kisses her.

For all that his fingers are still buzzing gently against her stomach, the kiss is leisurely and warm. Phil makes sure to pay separate and equal attention to both her top and bottom lips, and Melinda leans into it, content to let him coax her into a state of relaxed arousal. Their hands pull her shirt up and off - she’s still sweaty from the run, but Phil doesn’t mind if the way his hand slides greedily up her side is any indication. It’s the work of a moment to settle him between her legs as her back falls to the mattress.

She hums softly in pleasure when he begins mouthing his way down her stomach. “So what you meant was Wish You Were Here….. in bed.”

Phil smirks against her skin. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Melinda kicks him in the leg.

He props his chin up on her stomach, smiling. “I put it on the door two days ago. Today was just the first time you went outside and saw it.”

“And being in bed was just a bonus?” she teases. They both know exactly where they’d spent all that time inside, and - her inner thighs twinge at the thought - what they’d been doing.

“I love you,” Phil says. “I always wish you were with me wherever I am, bed or no bed.”

The simple sincerity of it brings a lump to her throat. His hair is a mess, his stubble is now well on its way to becoming a beard, and the room positively reeks of sex, but the way he’s looking at her makes it impossible to think about anything but how much she wants the same thing. Forever, or as close to that as she can get.

“I love you too,” she says quietly, tracing his bristly cheek.

Phil shifts to nip gently at the pad of her thumb. His vibrating fingers make unexpected contact with her thigh - she can’t hold back the twitch of her hips, and the mood is suddenly incendiary.

“Phil.”

“Mm?”

She pushes him down until she can feel his breath on her clit. “I wish you were here.”

[binary-not-found]

Episode 4 season 2 🍒

Short analysis because the episode didn't give me much

okay, here's the thing, Kate could have put the boot in a bag, she could have sent Lucy a text saying she found it so she could go pick it up, she could have waited to see her again because obviously Lucy wasn't going to walk around without a shoe all day, but instead she decided to take a detour and walk with the boot in her hand to the NCIS office just to have an excuse to see Lucy, Girl! you don't need an excuse we all know they're a couple!

I don't judge Lucy for having one (1) single spare shoe, because if you think about it it actually makes a lot of sense (it doesn't make any sense) because one shoe is useless! I keep wondering if Kate misunderstood and Lucy decided to mess with her or if she really only has one single spare shoe, because nothing about this interaction makes any sense

Well that's just a silly question

No! No, Lucy! It's not a silly question! What if for some reason you ruined both shoes? What good would one shoe do you? And who goes through life leaving shoes behind in the first place? Why didn't you take two more minutes to look for it? What were you doing that the shoe ended up behind the couch?

Kate's facial expressions are GOLD! My poor blondie is lost and really doesn't understand, and Ernie interrupting gives her less time to understand 😂

There's nothing wrong with being a loner

Listen! ( more like read) Lucy's expression is just to comfort and confirm to Kate that what she said is correct We know that Kate is a loner and used to close herself off a lot more, Lucy knows this, so her reaction is just to reassure her girlfriend that she knows there is nothing wrong with being a loner and that there is nothing wrong with her 💖

This one just because I love making gifs of them working, but I wasn't going to gif the whole scene

The cutest dork in the world 🥺

✨ Women ✨

One thing I love about Katherine Marie Whistler more than her girlfriend is the way she could literally save the world with just a couple of phone calls, I need more of her all the time 😍

Again, sorry for such a short analysis, try to make it funny haha, the episode overall was really good but didn't give us too much Kacy, hope you guys liked it anyway and love Lucy and Kate as much as I do, bye 🤙🏻

[iron-man-loves-you-3000]

I See The Way They Look At Me (Peter Parker x Female Reader) Part One (1)

Title is from 'O.D.D' by Hey Violet (it's a really good song btw)

A/N - Uh, I might make this into a lil series

~~

Peter Parker was a good kid. He was good in school, not counting the occasions that he skipped. And when he skipped, I skipped. You see, he's Spiderman. Yeah, that dude who can shoot webs. Yeah. It's pretty normal.

Me? Well, I'm an Asgardian. Loki's daughter. Yep. But it gets better! Because my father is half Jotun, guess what! I am too! Which means that technically I'm a princess of Jotunheim. It's a weird one. Luckily enough, the Frost Giants in Jotunheim seem to like me.

My Dad was the god of Mischief, and Lies. My Uncle was the god of Thunder. My grandfather, not biological, was just the king, but he's...not the nicest. I guess I ended up being the god of Animals? And any other mythical beast that isn't humanoid, except anything that bears human-like intelligence, with a few exceptions.

Dragons, for example. They're extremely intelligent. But, lo and behold, I can still chill out (haha) with them.

Which brings me to why I'm on...Earth? Is that what this place is called? Or Midguard, I guess.

Odin wasn't too impressed by the fact that I was a literal animal magnet. Dragons would fly in, and I would have to fly them out, although I did enjoy watching them wreak havoc.

Sometimes I would scare Thor by befriending a Thunder Dragon. Thunder Dragons are big, huge, serpentine beasts. They're long, ridiculously long, and have a massive wingspan. They also have four eyes, two on each side. They're pretty cute. Anyway. Uncle Thor is pretty scared of them, because they're one of the only creatures he can't scare off with his powers. So, when we were both walking around outside the city, I called one over, quickly befriended it, and then proceeded to prank Thor. He wasn't very impressed.

Anyway, because of my tendency to bring dangerous beasts in, Odin sent me down to Midguard so I could stay with the Avengers.

Me and Peter had taken to each other pretty quickly. We got on like a house on fire, one could say, but I don't really deal with fire. That why I stay away from any Helhounds, they're literally furnaces. Mean as well. They've got bark, literally, and bite.

So, once Peter learned of what I could do, he kept asking for demonstrations. I'd take him to somewhere remote, using the Asgardian version of a portal, and then I'd call over any creature he wanted me to. I once summoned a huge spider. We called him Aragog, because Harry Potter.

And while I showed off, Peter would observe me. He'd learnt most of my little quirks. Like how I had a tendency to slip into a baby voice when talking to animals. Especially snakes.

I must've picked that trait up from my Father. I had also inherited his personality, although I'm a little bit easier to approach.

Peter told Tony about my love of snakes, and the next day, when I got back from school, there was a full sized Vivarium, with a baby Durrell's Ground Boa inside. I named him Korealis. He's a few months old now, and where I go, he goes. No joke. He even comes with me to school.

They...know who I am. And because I am technically a god, they can't do anything. I maybe revel in that a bit too much. Korealis wraps himself around my neck, loosely, and stares at people. I mean, he can't blink, he doesn't have eyelids, so, y'know.

Ever since Tony got me Korealis, we've been close. Sure, Loki is my Dad, and I love him despite everything, and I used to see him a lot, but Tony's like a second father. Surprisingly, Dad didn't doesn't mind. He actually liked the fact that me and Tony are so close. I guess he did not care, as long as I was safe.

Hey, I went off topic again!

Peter...there were times when I wondered if he was really as fine as he seemed to be. Nobody his age should be seeing the things he's seen. The Infinity War? That was horrible. I was there. I was on Titan.

I saw him...no.

No.

I wouldn't think about that. I wouldn't think about how I cried. Oh, how I cried. I was already a mess because of Dad, but that was the final straw. After that, I helped Thor with New Asgard. I asked Dragons and Griffons and Pegasi to protect the land, and they agreed, gladly. To any non magical being, they just look like birds. But to another Asgardian, or a Sorcerer, or someone who knew what they were, they looked as they normally did. Majestic beasts, soaring through the sky. Graceful. Ready to attack. Ready to defend.

After New Asgard was stable, I headed off. I trained, honed my skills, until I was just like my Father. I think he'd be proud of me now, y'know. If only he could see me.

I missed him.

Then the remains of the Avengers came calling, and all it took for me to crack was to look at Tony, and I was a sobbing mess again. The memories came flooding back.

But it's over now. Tony was hurt, but he's okay. Pepper wants him to retire, but he's as stubborn as my Father. He won't retire.

When I first came here people were scared. Loki's attack was still fresh in the minds of some, and seeing me, smirking like the world was at my control, only caused memories to resurface. Even Tony was tense. Thor was quick to soothe everyone, though, reassuring them that, although personality wise, I was my Father, I wouldn't try to take over the world.

After I reverse engineered Tony's suit, and made my own, he warmed up to me. I guess he wasn't expecting me to be able to do it. But I did! And now I have my own suit. It's not like Tony's, mine is green and gold, and lighter so that I could move faster, and dodge easier. I replaced the repulsors with Asgardian Tech, and I chose to harness the Frixe Dragon's powers. I fired ice beams from one hand, and from the other, fire. I could freeze someone if I needed, and then unthaw them. Simple.

Peter was pretty impressed by that feat, and he literally took every chance he could to try and befriend me after that. Ugh, he makes me soft, I swear. For a while I was cautious, I didn't want to let my guard down, but I soon let him in, and, well, the rest is history.

Mine and Peter's first kiss was when he came back, after the whole Thanos fiasco. I was too excited, I couldn't contain myself, and after seeing him come back, I couldn't stop myself. I rand forwards, and I kinda just did it. Peter was grinning like a dork when I realised what I'd done, and I'd pulled away, and quickly darted off, taking to the air in my suit. Tony still teased me about that moment. Everyone did. I guess we were a little ray of sunshine in a battle.

It's kinda cute when you put it that way.

Me and Peter started dating two months after the kiss. He'd gathered the courage to ask if I could show him some more magical creatures, and I happily agreed, taking him to Mount Kilimanjaro. We sat halfway up, and I showed him Griffons, a Pygmy Faerie Dragon, and a Arachnellkero. Basically a giant spider, with wings. Once I'd sent them back, he asked for me to show him my favourite. I paused, thinking, and I then called a Basilisk. It was young, and therefore it's gaze was useless. No harm was caused. Peter smiled brightly at me, and in that moment, I couldn't help but smile back.

After I returned the Basilisk, we sat in a peaceful silence. Perfectly calm. At some point we wound up holding hands. At some point I fell asleep. At some point he called Stephen to portal us home.

I think Thor borrowed Tony's phone to take a picture of that moment. I don't blame him.

I wonder what my Father would say now. Would he be proud? Or disappointed, as Odin always was with him? But...Loki swore to me that he wouldn't be like Odin, and he wasn't. And he's dead now, damn it!

I missed him, I thought, as tears ran down my face. I wanted him back.

To Be Continued...