#anyway there's my unofficial review

[fideidefenswhore]

the not directly articulated thesis of hunting the falcon is that while catherine of aragon took henry's literal virginity, anne boleyn took his emotional virginity.

[partyanimal167]

I’ve just been watching Bleach and in the credits to ep 118, Grimmjow gets called a Professor 👀 and now I can’t stop thinking about it…

So how about an AU where Grimmjow is a professor? Sorry if that’s too vague and random 😅

Oh no, that's not too vague. Thanks so much for suggesting. I always laugh thinking about certain characters being "responsible" adults esp when it comes to working with other people lol. I was so close to making Grimmjow a culinary professor, but it'd be too easy lol. I hope you like this!

CW: sfw, college au, gn! reader, cussing (bc let's be fr now), slight flirting near the end

There were so many signs that this class was going to be...not normal. However, when you gleamed through the professor reviews there wasn't anything out of the ordinary...well you didn't read them all. Mistake number one.

Mistake number two was not reading the syllabus (who does though) and showing up to class when it started--10am. There were a few people, but after waiting fifteen minutes, not even half the class was there and neither was the professor. After another fifteen minutes, you were starting to get a bit antsy and confused, but soon the rest of the class filled in. Then one guy came in with ripped jeans, a white jacket, shades, and a Monster in hand.

Damn, this guy looks rough. I bet he was partying too hard with the new semester starting. You jumped when a bag slammed on the teacher's desk. You tilted your head as the man's shades came off, and you were met with blue-as-hell eyes and a grumpy expression.

It seems you weren't the only one confused.

"Hey! Class was supposed to start at 10! Why is the professor late?" one guy yelled from his seat. A few other students mumbled in agreement.

"Oi, why the hell are you yelling?! Too fucking early in the morning," the man barked back. You could feel his voice rumble in your chest. It sounded as if he had just woken up not too long ago either. The man went over to his seat and kicked his feet on the desk. He popped open his energy drink and went on. "Literally on the first page of your syllabus it says that class starts at 10:30 because 10 is too fucking early and I like my sleep. It ain't my fault the dean wouldn't give me a noon class, tch."

You couldn't believe your ears. This guy can't be serious. This is my literature professor? You didn't like to make assumptions about people, but the guy looked to be around everyone else's age and even if he did teach a class, with his attitude you'd think it'd be something...not like literature.

"Anyway, the name's Grimmjow. I don't really care if you call me Professors. That's your business. This is Global Literature of the 21st Century. I hate repeating myself so listen the first time, and I don't give out extra credit unless you drop off a 12-pack of these first." the man went on tapping the can.

You sunk it your seat a little. What the hell did I sign up for?

~~~

After those first couple of weeks, you decided that you would do your absolute best in that class and avoid being a nuisance to that grumpy professor. Grimmjow definitely had a reputation on campus. Many students had a love-hate relationship with him--grateful for the extra time to sleep in, no bullshit, and the somehow rowdy yet engaging teaching. Definitely hate though for the teasing, cussing, yelling, and him being ready to chew out whatever dumb ass he picked that day.

So it certainly wasn't your best moment when the man practically ordered that you came to his office hours later that day.

You slowly opened the door to his office and met with the rather odd scene of your professor with reader's on his nose going over papers. For a moment, he looked really peaceful and actually almost professional.

"Oh wow, you actually fucking showed up."

And moment over.

You stopped yourself from messing with your elbows and nodded. "Uh yeah what's up, Grimm?" you immediately winced on the inside unsure of how the man would react to the unofficial nickname. But he didn't say anything.

He pointed at the chair, and you immediately sat. He rubbed his face and pushed the glasses off his head. "Look, I'll make this quick. Tell that idiot Jackson to stop stealing whole paragraphs from your papers or I'll break his arm."

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

There was that annoyed look again. "I'm not stupid. The guy has been copying sentences and paragraphs and piecing them together as his own work. He's already going to get in trouble, of course. But seriously, your work always seems to be included. Is he your idiot boyfriend or somethin'?"

The mention of a boyfriend flustered you a little even though you wouldn't dare consider that particular classmate. "Oh no uh- I'm single, and I kinda don't know how he's getting my assignments. I mean we do work together in the library but-,"

The man cut you off and waved his hand. "Okay, okay whatever. Just be mindful of where you're leaving your shit I guess."

You nodded then paused for a moment. "So I'm not in trouble?" You couldn't deny that being in front of the man made you nervous.

"Tch, for what? You're like one of my best students." Grimmjow easily said. "I actually think you know how to read a book and write. Some of these fools are using ai bots as if I can't tell." That was as close to compliment as you ever heard the man say. His face softened for a moment before he grinned meanly. "Well, I will give you some advice."

You weren't sure what it'd be, but you brightened up at the offer. "Sure!"

Grimmjow flicked your forehead before leaning back into his chair. "I got a rule that I don't go dating students, so you better fix how you keep eye-fucking me before I make it a problem." he snickered.

"What! I don'-,"

"Get out."

You squeaked before hightailing it out of the office--face warm and heart racing.

One thing you did know for sure though, you were certainly ready to see what type of problem your professor would give you.

~~~

Grimmjow! I want more of you lol. Thanks for reading! I'll be here if anyone has any thoughts, prayers, or ideas haha

[demonslayedher]

I'm mentally rocking out to that "Kizuna no Kiseki" remix again and gotta say, I went into the theater the other night thinking "this is a cinematic experience" and suddenly a bunch of editorial choices in that last Swordsmith Village episode made so much more sense.

Clearly, they are playing the long game.

Since I have a friend visiting who is a more casual fan of the series, it was actually a very nice review for people like her. Also, yeah, we dressed up. Since I was stopping in after work again I needed another subtle "add items after arriving at the theater to do character homage" closet play. Hence, a nice chance to use some official Shinobu items (and an unofficial, fashion-only mask):

For my friend, we decided on Giyuu items for her, but I didn't actually have that many for her to borrow besides the (unofficial) bow and bracelet I've got, and the Giyuu keychain I gave her to borrow didn’t fit on her bag, and my clothing items that match one half of Giyuu's haori didn't go with any of her clothes, and I didn't provide reference for suggesting she do her hair like Tsutako... so it was very, very subtle Giyuu homage.

In his own words, he's "not like the rest" of the Pillars anyway, so why even represent him for this movie to kick off Pillar training?

Or so we joked, and then she nails the attitude of that sentiment by showing up in black lipstick.

[whoiwanttoday]

So not last Friday but two Fridays ago was National Paranormal Day, something I didn't know existed and there is a joke here about it not actually existing no matter how much some people abuse the scientific method to prove it does but I won't go down that rabbit hole. The point is that night I had a friend who made me aware and asked me to watch something Paranormal but I was busy so I didn't. They watched The Amityville Horror, a truly bad movie that was also part of a massive pop culture phenomena. It's a thing I am fascinated by because I am always interested in ideas that infect society and I wish I could have been there to feel it. To see if it felt like everyone believed there was a haunting in Amityville or not. If you don't know the story you can look it up but it's been pretty thoroughly debunked over the years, though of course there are still true believers, but it was a best selling book that lead to a massive hit movie that has lead to an official movie franchise and an unofficial one that has spawned combined hundreds of movies. You think I am exaggerating but I promise you I am not. Since Amityville is a real place as long as you don't call it the Amityville Horror anyone can make a movie and put Amityville in front of it and suddenly you have a movie sure to make money on streaming. It's how you get things ranging from Amityville Island and Amityville Vampire to Amityville Dollhouse and Amityville in Space. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about Amityville but rather how I didn't watch it Friday night. But it put it in my head so I finally did watch it again, it's a not very good movie but one that has always been part of my life because it was just… always sort of there as a kid. On TV a lot, someone always had a VHS copy recorded off of cable somewhere. So I have seen it many times and the bright spot has always been Margot Kidder because she's the bright spot in a whole lot of movies. She has this moxie and charm about her that comes out in a very specific 70's Liberated Lady way that you don't see anymore. It's so era specific, a backbone and some spunk mixed with a world weariness and the fact that she has seen more than you have. It's why she was a pitch perfect Lois Lane but she is also in a few horror movies and one of them I deeply love she is the best part in, which is high praise cause Black Christmas is awesome. Anyway, I feel like I was intellectually aware she must be an attractive woman cause she's in movies and stuff but she was first and foremost Lois Lane to me as a kid and I couldn't sexualize Lois Lane. Guys, it turns out I can sexualize Kathleen Lutz. I dunno what it is, 4k resolution, getting older, some third thing you can feel free to tell me about in the comments below but man, she is gorgeous. Just so absolutely beautiful and I felt a little dumb that I hadn't fully registered this. Like I knew but I was embarrassed for my loins that they hadn't done their job and made me lust after her previously. They usually don't drop the ball like this. Anyway, in ultra high def I am here to tell you her face is a marvel. And you pair that with the sort of verve Margot Kidder always brings to the screen and I was smitten. To the point I was like, "Did anyone else notice how hot she is in this movie?" Guys, they did. My favorite review I found online was from a woman that said, "You'd think this movie would make me wary of ouija but now we're digging up the board to ask Margot Kidder to be our third". I get it. Today I want to fuck Margot Kidder.

[chcrryade]

posted by justbcmb⠀⠀⸻⠀⠀July 3rd, 2O21.

So.  Here we are.  I’m assuming you’ve all seen what I have—and if you haven’t,  then what I’m referring to is an article explaining a little about the members of the JAGUAR boy group that’s coming just next month:  CHERRYADE.  I can taste it a little already.  Most people have no idea what’s going on,  (and I don’t blame them,  seeing as the last sign of life we’ve seen from JAGUAR was the BONSOIR disbandment notice from back in May 2O2O)  so I’ve decided to take one for the team and provide to you all a slightly omniscient-sounding  (but only because I do my thorough research,  and have my inside sources!)  complete run-down of everything surrounding CHERRYADE—including their managing company,  all the artists that came before them,  and the groups they’re primarily going to be forged out of.

PART i. the company.

“All press is good press,” says the company that is more used to attracting bad reviews than good. Known primarily for housing a whole host of outspoken and authentic personalities, attempting to pull off outrageously ambitious ventures that almost never go to plan, and generally biting off more than they can chew, JAGUAR has risen to (what some may call) infamy from where its headquarters stands proud in the centre of Gangnam. When you step inside their walls you’ll find great minds, good music, and an admirable work ethic—just don’t look too much further into it. Prodding around into things unknown never ends well, after all.

JAGUAR is a fictional South Korean entertainment company, founded by current CEO Ae Seungdae in 2003. They started off as a PR firm, working the media for their clientele—that mainly consisted of struggling actors, those who had either not yet found their breakout role or those that had gone through something that had sent public opinion of them into the red—and quickly making a name for themselves as a reliable service, one that had yet to majorly fail. It was something of an open secret within those who had hired them and the industry in general that while they were not always the most ethical in their methods of dealing with the media, they were always effective, and so nothing more than a few rumours were ever brought against their name. 

Their work in the PR business continued until midway through 2006, where Seungdae made the (correct) assumption that there was much more money to be made if they began to work within the industry, rather than simply managing the front of it. And so, by the beginning of 2007, they had fully jumped ship and rebranded into the entertainment company that they’re known as to all today. 

The first act to be released to the public was the co-ed duo JUST4U, attempting to cater to both young male and female audiences straight off the bat with the appeal the respective members had. They struck gold pretty much from the get-go, shooting upwards in popularity after the release of their first single ‘DBL TRBL,’ and from there it only got better—for the two members and for the company.

The first sign of decline was shortly after their second mini album in 2012, where allegations of a physical fight breaking out between the two arose after a performance on a music show. They were put on a year-long unofficial hiatus after the incident, but it seemed their fanbase wasn’t at all deterred, because after their long-awaited return in 2013 with a whole full album they were met with nothing but love and support. The first (that was known to the public, anyway) fight seemed to be the start of the end for the duo, though, as only three years later in 2016 they would meet their end after yet another vicious argument that got through to the press, and that appeared to be the breaking point—as they both cut their contracts with the company not long afterwards, and JUST4U ceased to exist. To date, their seven-year run marks them as JAGUAR’s longest lasting group.

That didn’t leave JAGUAR with no-one to run their show, however, because in 2012 they debuted a male soloist named YOON, a heartthrob that was again met with massive success not long after the release of his first mini album ‘ON: YOUTH.’ He continued after JUST4U’s demise as JAGUAR’s reigning king until late 2018, where he was found to have taken his own life in his penthouse apartment. Both the public and the company were rightfully devastated by the loss, but after theories began to crop up speculating on why exactly he committed suicide, it was clear they needed to do some damage control.

So, just under a week after the news officially broke of YOON’s passing, along came the release of ‘MAYDAY’—a pre-debut single from what was (then) the four-membered group BONSOIR. The release was clearly timed to take the attention away from the death, but to JAGUAR’s credit it worked fairly well and most theorists were now more interested in the new trainees, a fanbase quickly building from the abundance of content that JAGUAR were now putting out focusing around BONSOIR.

This pre-debut promotion would continue until mid December, shortly after struggling actor Ahn Jaehee would decide to put his career of background characters to rest and continue down the idol pathway, instead. By the time of their October 2019 debut with mini album ‘BETTER IS MORE,’ it was revealed that Jaehee was an official part of their lineup—but the original four didn’t seem to be the most excited about this fact. In fact, there were constant rumours and stories of fights they would get into with the new maknae, and this was what would eventually come back around to bite them. In March 2020 an article was released that told all of the things Jaehee had gone through at the hands of his bandmates, and all things BONSOIR abruptly fell silent. The last thing they got was a quiet disbandment notice in May 2020, and after that JAGUAR as a whole seemed to fall completely quiet. No announcements of an upcoming group, no nothing. They were a ghost company. 

Until July 2021. A surprise announcement was made, of a new boy group set to debut at the turn of the very next month. CHERRYADE, they were called, and the word being spread was that their lineup consisted mostly (with the exception of two) of members from groups that had met the same fate as BONSOIR—that was to say, disbanded after one scandal or another (or simply the lack of interest) and left to rot. To this day they remain active, and although they’ve gotten themselves into a fair amount of hot water, they’ve yet to scald so bad it spells out their end. They all even appear to semi-like each other, which is always a bonus. But that’s not to say there isn’t something career-threatening on the horizon. It’s all just a waiting game.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀JAGUAR

TYPE⠀ㅇ⠀PRIVATE

FOUNDER⠀ㅇ⠀AE SEUNGDAE ( 애승대. )

FOUNDED⠀ㅇ⠀FEBRUARY 23, 2003

BASED⠀ㅇ⠀GANGNAM, SEOUL, SK

PART i. (2) the staff

i.⠀애승대

With big dreams & a bigger smile, Seungdae only ever wants the best for his employees. Fully supportive of whatever they do in their endeavours (as long as it doesn’t involve publicly dragging JAGUAR’s name through the mud, of course), he’ll happily encourage any less-than-tasteful actions they decide to indulge in if they think it’ll help them climb to the top that much faster. Scandals aren’t so bad if they make heads turn and lips move, fights can be swiftly moved past, and the press can be silenced completely if you know the right people to do it for you. He’s a glass-half-full type of man.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀AE SEUNGDAE ( 애승대. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JUNE 2, 1978

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀CEO

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀NAMGOONG MIN

ii.⠀심효주

Seungdae’s unwillingly pessimistic right-hand-woman, Hyojoo is really just trying to keep her head above water. When she got the job back in May 2003, back when JAGUAR was simply a quiet little PR firm in the centre of Gangnam, she had no idea what she’d end up being, what the company would go on to turn into. She is of the complete opposite opinion of the CEO—she thinks everything should be moral, and everyone should at least keep it civil until they’re behind closed doors. Unfortunately, her mission of attempting to keep everything above-board failed long, long ago.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀SIM HYOJOO ( 심효주. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀MAY 11, 1981

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀COO

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀NAM SANGMI

iii.⠀오지태

If there’s a bad idea, one that’s full of too much flashing lights and more sparkle than substance, then chances are it came from Jitae. He’s a kid at heart, just wanting things to look cool rather than there to be any significant meaning behind it. While he always means well, is always filled to the brim with grandiose visions far beyond himself, putting those ideas into practice is another matter entirely. The only thing that usually stops him during his board meetings full of over-expressive arm movements and explosive sound effects is Hyojoo giving him a look that says none of them will ever come to light. So he sits back down.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀OH JITAE ( 오지태. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀AUGUST 4, 1982

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀CAO

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀KOO KYOHWAN

iv.⠀최은희

As the younger sister to the now-deceased YOON, Eunhee has a lot to hate about JAGUAR and everyone in it. But she stays on, if only to look after her younger cousin Hasun and glare daggers at any former BONSOIR members she passes in the hallways. She runs a right ship and is cutthroat in her ways, unafraid to point out every single little thing she finds wrong with ideas brought to the table or thought-to-be finished products placed in front of her. Stragglers are the one thing she won’t tolerate, the things that have no use to her, and she’s unafraid to do all things necessary to cut them loose.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI EUNHEE ( 최은희. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀APRIL 19, 1995

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀CREATIVE DIRECTOR

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀PARK JUHYUN

v.⠀임수미

Sumi has every single one of her priorities completely straight, all lined up in a neat little row that she refuses to let get knocked astray. She likes to think of herself as one of the only ones with her head screwed on right, the only one with proper drive and ambition. A Lady Macbeth of her time (without the suicide—she’s not going out like that). The act of her reaching the very top, whether that be within JAGUAR or any other company she may decide to jump ship to, is something she feels is inevitable. It is going to happen, the only question left to answer is when.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀IM SUMI ( 임수미. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀NOVEMBER 26, 1981

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀DIRECTOR

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀KIM SHINROK

vi.⠀도성기

Running primarily on spite and too much caffeine than is strictly healthy, Sungki is slimier than he likes to think of himself. Loyalty is a fickle thing for him, something that will change with the tide and who hasn’t wished him a good morning that day. He’s not particularly pleasant, however harmless he might look, but even he himself is oblivious to how much he’s disliked at times. His trust can be bought, as well as.. Well, everything else about him. There isn’t much he’s not willing to do if the digits climb high enough. He has some redeeming qualities, it just might take a while to name them.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀DOH SUNGKI ( 도성기. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀MARCH 13, 1987

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI WOOSHIK

vii.⠀봄규리

Kyuri is a passive-aggressive, slightly manipulative, and always-put-together-looking ray of sunshine. She won’t let a strand of hair come out of place, and won’t let a single person that’s crossed her know a single day of peace. Her number one belief is that one can get anything they want if they’re charming enough—a belief that, in her case, is one that works every time. All you have to do is put on a shining white smile and grip their hand a little too hard, and she finds that everything she may want falls straight into her lap. She could do with seeing a little less of a number of her colleagues, but she’d never breathe a word of that to their faces.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀BOM KYURI ( 봄규리. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀SEPTEMBER 29, 1983

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀MARKETING MANAGER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀PARK MINYOUNG

viii.⠀문영식

Simply trying to get by, trying to make a living to support his quiet little life, Youngshik has seen more than he ever really wanted to when he first got the job back in 2004. Trying to keep a leash on two firecrackers with their fuses lit was something that got his pulse racing on a good day and left him feeling at risk of a heart attack on the bad ones. A week of peace per year was the standard he slowly found himself getting used to, and despite all of the screaming and the fighting and the throwing things, he found himself missing the pair when they reached their limits and left.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀MUN YOUNGSHIK ( 문영식. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JUNE 28, 1984

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀MANAGER for JUST4U (FORMER)

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀LEE JEHOON

ix.⠀황한비

If there’s anything Hanbi hates, it's everyone else. She says she would’ve been better off never even coming near the company building in the first place, would’ve been much further on in both her life and career if she had never set eyes on any of them at all—but despite this, she never makes any sort of move to leave. Some think it’s because of the cheques being written out for her, some think it’s because of the dirt they speculate she has on them concerning their treatment of once-superstar (and now dead) YOON, and some go on to make the harsher comment that, even with all her criticisms, without JAGUAR, Hanbi would just be another face in the crowd.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀HWANG HANBI ( 황한비. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀NOVEMBER 24, 1992

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀MANAGER for YOON (FORMER)

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI SUNGEUN

x.⠀홍재영

Ever bored, never having a nice thing to say, and a bit of an alcoholic, it’s common knowledge that Jaeyoung only really got the job because of his shareholder father pulling a few strings when he decided it was best for his son to try and handle a big-boy job for once. He’s holding on by a thread, but it’s not so clear as to whether he’s particularly worried about the status of his employment. His strongest bonds are formed through swapping contraband for excuses about what he’s been doing all day instead of managing the groups that were put under his care, and there may be a few DUI’s he’s shoving under the carpet.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀HONG JAEYOUNG ( 홍재영. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JULY 30, 1993

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀MANAGER for BONSOIR (FORMER), CHERRYADE

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀KIM DONGHEE

PART ii. act one: just4u.

What do you get when you mix a country boy who hopped on a train the second he’d graduated to the big city and never looked back—only to resort to sleeping rough and stealing wallets when he realised his dreams of hitting it big were going to be a tad more difficult to achieve than he’d initially thought—and a born-and-raised big city girl—not spoiled nor particularly rich, but with certainly enough spite in her veins to rival both—who spends her days shoplifting and slacking off at her gig at the local noraebang? JUST4U, is your answer, after they were scouted on the street by an overexcited Jitae who had made his decision with just a singular look at them.

JAGUAR’s very first pet project, the members street casted by Jitae himself after wandering the highstreets of Gangnam pretty much aimlessly, JUST4U was a fictional co-ed South Korean duo made up of members Yeseul and Insu. Appeal was their core concept from the very start—in every meaning of the word. Sex appeal, endorsement appeal, musical appeal; they were trying to hit it all straight from the start line, likely wanting a boost after the recent rebrand from a PR firm to a full-blown entertainment company. To JAGUAR’s credit, though, it was an aspiration that was met both fairly well and fairly soon. Their debut single ‘DBL TRBL’ in September 2009 rocketed upwards in popularity and put their names in a lot of people’s mouths barely a week after its release, and it seemed like JUST4U could be the next big thing if JAGUAR played their cards right. They continued to be plastered all over the place, the company doing their best to grab as many publicity stunts as they could for the pair as the months passed by. The hype was well maintained, and many stuck around for the next release: the first mini album named ‘DIZZY,’ released in June 2010. From that point onwards JAGUAR felt it was safe to assume the attention wouldn’t take a nosedive into nothingness if they laid off the promotions, and relaxed a little, giving the members a little room to breathe.

The duo’s success was constant, never failing to gain headlines and interviews and more and more wins, more recognition, more of their names being passed from mouth to mouth. They were breezing through things, enjoying every second of the attention and the (monetary) awards they got from it. In fact, it was all a little.. Too good. While everything was doing more than fine on the music front, the relationship between the Yeseul and Insu was rocky at best, and had been since the start. They hated one another, point blank. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t trade favours and light each other’s cigarettes and lie about whatever the other may have needed them to lie about, but it did mean they couldn’t go a week without another screaming match about some petty thing or another. Maybe Insu had left his straighteners plugged in and on the countertop in Yeseul’s bathroom. Maybe Yeseul had left Insu’s earrings in her top drawer. Whatever it may have been, they made sure to fight about it multiple times over.

The media were none the wiser until August 2012. Another fight, but this time backstage at a music show—and it escalated to the point of throwing things, breaking things, bringing innocent staff members into it. Rumoured to have even been off the back of a drug-fuelled high, following leaked photos of empty baggies on their dressing room floor. What they’d just done was taken their own squeaky-clean image and set it alight—but, to be honest, neither really cared. JAGUAR stepped in to release a statement denying the claims, but in the same breath announced that all public appearances would be ceased for the time being, until everything had calmed down. The word ‘hiatus’ was never uttered, but it was clear as day to everyone who had read it that that was what it was. JUST4U spent their year off doing exactly the same things they’d been doing before it, although this time much worse. They wouldn’t come back until October 2013, when they dropped the full album ‘FEELING SWEET’ and convinced everyone they were better than they’d ever been, when the reality was that they were just getting crazier and crazier.

The fights continued, the sex continued, the drugs and clubs continued—the year off had really done nothing at all, and neither had the media. Yeseul and Insu continued to do whatever they wanted, and argued every second doing it. Maybe some would have thought JAGUAR would’ve stepped in after the 2012 fight to see how they were doing, and maybe even offer them some help, but the truth was that Seungdae thought JAGUAR’s artists should live their lives however they saw fit. Drugs and drink be damned, as long as they weren’t publicly dragging the company’s name through the mud, he found it to be none of his business—and advised his staff to follow his lead.

They carried on making their music and their impact (good or bad, it’s more up to you to decide) until 2016, where they finally began to crash and burn. One last fight, so loud it made their throats burn, snapped the final piece of string holding them together, and on that night in October they decided they were finally done—Yeseul going about cutting her contract the very next day, and Insu following suit not long afterwards. At seven years, they’re the longest group JAGUAR has housed to date, and will forever be known for never having a moment of peace between them.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀JUST4U

LABEL⠀ㅇ⠀JAGUAR

DEBUT DATE⠀ㅇ⠀SEPTEMBER 13, 2009

GREETING⠀ㅇ⠀FOR YOUR EYES ONLY! WE’RE JUST4U!

FANDOM NAME⠀ㅇ⠀ONLY1’s

ACTIVE FROM⠀ㅇ⠀2009—2016

PART ii. (2) the members

i.⠀나예슬

She’d say she was only in it for the money, but after a while Yeseul did grow to enjoy the rush of performing, the thrill of seeing the hordes of fan after fan screaming her name and waving lighters and phone torches and lightsticks in time. It was just too bad she had to share all that fame and attention and utmost adoration from the thousands, the millions, with someone she couldn’t stand—that person being Insu, of course. The only chemistry between them was physical, and apart from that the only time they could tolerate each other was when they were either blackout drunk or having to pretend to be best friends for all the cameras that thought them to be.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀NA YESEUL ( 나예슬. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JANUARY 9, 1989

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀LEADER, VOCALIST, DANCER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀KWON YURI

ii.⠀최인수

Insu came to Seoul with the highest of expectations, and not a singular one of them was met. It wasn’t as if he expected fame and fortune (or even a stable job) to fall into his lap, but sleeping in saunas at eighteen was a nightmare—and got pretty cramped, too. When he was scouted he took the chance purely for the idea of the cash that came with it, even despite the years of training he undertook before it. Life as an idol was one that met most of those stupid and too-high expectations he’d set for himself as a naïve teenager, but there was just one thing that ruined it, just a little bit—Yeseul. Trying to get along with her was worse than any nights spent sleeping rough.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI INSU ( 최인수. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀JULY 16, 1989

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀RAPPER, VOCALIST, DANCER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀JANG WOOYOUNG

SEPT 2009⠀DBL TRBL⠀(FROM SINGLE: “DBL TRBL”)

JUN 2010⠀WANNA⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “DIZZY”)

FEB 2011⠀TELL ALL⠀(FROM FULL ALBUM: “GO”)

DEC 2011⠀SHOW YOUR LOVE⠀(FROM SINGLE: “SHOW YOUR LOVE”)

AUG 2012⠀BETTER STOP⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “HOW U FEEL”)

OCT 2013⠀MAKE ME (CRAZY)⠀(FROM FULL ALBUM: “FEELING SWEET”)

SEPT 2014⠀RENDEZVOUS⠀(FROM SINGLE: “RENDEZVOUS”)

MAR 2015⠀FAR AWAY⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “LONG WAY”)

DEC 2015⠀TAN SKIN⠀(FROM SINGLE: “TAN SKIN”)

AUG 2016⠀OPEN YOUR DOOR⠀(FROM FULL ALBUM: “MORE THAN DREAMS”)

PART iii. act two: yoon.

Here’s a boy. One with what some would call a natural talent for music, a knack for flipping a switch that turns him into someone able to light up the room with a few jokes and a smile. What do you do? The only answer is to recruit him, obviously, but the one obstacle in the way is the fact he has zero interest in ever becoming a performer like all the star-studded ones you see on television nearly every night. So what then? The only answer for Jitae (because, really, who else would it be?) is to pester. To beg would be the real word, but pleading for a 12-year-old to join your company when you’re 11 years older than him is more than embarrassing. Whatever you want to call it, it finally worked in the end, and after four long hard years of training, YOON was what rose out of the ashes.

The only soloist to date that JAGUAR has ever debuted, YOON was a fictional South Korean singer, songwriter, and general performer. Birth name Choi Yoonhae, he was much more interested in growing up and getting a normal job than ever being an idol—but Jitae had passed him by one day and was eager to try and convince him to join them, to help them fulfil Jitae’s latest vision of a moody soloist that would capture hearts all across the country (after a few years of training, of course—debuting freshly-turned-teenagers wasn’t really their thing). Yoonhae was reluctant, but after a long, rambling conversation and a business card tucked into his pocket, he took it home and began to reconsider a little. He went back in the end and put on a more than worthy performance, and was accepted not long after that. Four years spent in the practise room day in and day out later, and YOON finally debuted with the hit mini album ‘ON: YOUTH’ which (similarly to how it had gone with JUST4U) brought in a reasonably large fanbase pretty quickly. Next was the mini album ‘RHYTHM’ in January 2013, and from there it all continued to go uphill for the singer.

There was only one problem for all his fans to pick at over the years. He released music, sure, but it was all singles—one notable one being a collaboration with JUST4U, in September 2013, after which he seemed to become much better friends with the duo—and mini albums. No full projects in sight, even as every anniversary of him being active creeped closer and closer. Some defended the choice, saying that maybe it was Yoonhae himself that didn’t feel he was ready for a full album, but most of his fans were angry on his behalf, practically demanding a longer release from JAGUAR. In reality, Yoonhae himself was sort of on the fence about the prospect. He wanted to do it, sure, but he didn’t want it to send him crashing back down to earth after he’d been enjoying a comfortable high for years at that point. So he continued to agree to the mini albums and singles that were set forward to him and thought over the album all the while.

Besides, he had other things to worry about other than putting a whole album together. He had to watch out for his recently-employed younger sister, had to keep an eye out for his younger trainee cousin every once in a while and make sure he was holding up fine. Other responsibilities to handle, other relationships to maintain, other bad habits to feed. He avoided putting out a full album until he really couldn’t any longer—which, in a stroke of good luck for him, lined up with a time he felt he finally had enough songs to put forward for an album anyway. March 2018 marked the release of YOON’s long-time-coming first (and, tragically, last) full album: ‘NO DRAMA.’ But, just as he’d been so worried about before putting it all together, the reception went in the opposite direction of what he’d hoped—what everyone had hoped. It tanked. Fell to the bottom of the charts, sales practically nonexistent. It didn’t even grow organically after a couple months, staying forgotten by all; including all the fans that had been begging for it only weeks before its release.

This kickstarted Yoonhae’s decline. It sent him spiralling, and the only thing he could do to stop the landing from hurting too hard was self-medicate—by day-drinking, by sleeping through schedules with his phone turned off and hands over his eyes, with empty pill packets piling up in his bathroom bin. Nobody could reach him, no matter how hard they tried. He disappeared from the public eye, ignored all the company’s calls, and on occasion skipped town to do god-knows-what in other ones. Gone was the country’s brooding heartthrob, and in his place was a washed-up star who was reaching his wits end. People thought he’d just cut his contract like JUST4U had done before him and live the rest of his life as a normal man, but Yoonhae proved them all wrong—in what was probably the worst way possible.

November 2018. Police were called to his high-rise apartment, and a few hours later they quietly left it with a body bag in tow and tape around the doorway. It wasn’t as much as a scene as you’d expect it to be, but JAGUAR did everything in their power to not let the news spread to the media for another three days—presumably to give them ample time to get all their plans for afterwards in order—before finally announcing it to the press. YOON had passed away, for reasons undisclosed. But ‘undisclosed’ never meant anything to anyone, not when you had hundreds and thousands of fans desperate for the real truth. So they did some digging, some sorts less legal than others, and not two days after the announcement the real reason was leaked. Suicide. By one of his own silk ties. Sleeping pills in the system, a bottle of white wine knocked over on the coffee table. It was the complete opposite of what JAGUAR wanted, and so they did the first thing they could to take everyone’s minds off of it—release a new boy group. BONSOIR’s predebut single dropped later that same November, and worked exactly as intended. YOON was a tragic tale for all involved, one that started high and ended.. Well. Six feet under, would be the blunt way to put it.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀YOON

LABEL⠀ㅇ⠀JAGUAR

DEBUT DATE⠀ㅇ⠀APRIL 5, 2012

GREETING⠀ㅇ⠀WE’RE IN IT TOGETHER NOW! I’M YOON!

FANDOM NAME⠀ㅇ⠀C-U-SOON’s

ACTIVE FROM⠀ㅇ⠀2012—2018

PART iii. (2) the member

i.⠀최윤해

Notoriously private, Yoonhae was one that kept himself to himself both when it mattered and in general. He knew how to play the part of the idol everyone wanted to see pretty much perfectly, but as soon as he was off the clock it was like he was a completely different person. Reserved, blank—not exactly cold in how he acted, but certainly not the most friendly either—and all in all a pretty hard person to get a read on. He was just.. Yoonhae. Not much of a threat, not someone you should be particularly worried about having in the same room as you while you spilled all your secrets (which, for a few people, would be a large mistake on their part). Just there. Maybe that was why no one noticed the signs of him slipping further and further away, until one day he wasn’t there all all, anymore.

NAME⠀ㅇ⠀CHOI YOONHAE ( 최윤해. )

BORN⠀ㅇ⠀MAY 21, 1993

POSITION⠀ㅇ⠀VOCALIST, RAPPER, DANCER

PLAYED BY⠀ㅇ⠀OH SEHUN

APR 2012⠀LONELY⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “ON: YOUTH”)

JAN 2013⠀RHYTHM⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “YOU GOT IT”)

SEPT 2013⠀DON'T KNOW ft. JUST4U⠀(FROM SINGLE: “DON'T KNOW”)

JUL 2014⠀CONSOLE ME⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “FORGET”)

FEB 2015⠀FAMILIAR⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “MAKE UP”)

NOV 2015⠀ALL OF ME⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “ROT”)

APR 2016⠀U&I⠀(FROM SINGLE: “U&I”)

DEC 2016⠀APPETITE⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “NO LIMIT”)

JUL 2017⠀EYES⠀(FROM MINI ALBUM: “BODY & SOUL”)

MAR 2018⠀FABULOUS (DANGEROUS)⠀(FROM FULL ALBUM: “NO DRAMA”)

Well.  I think that’s enough for part one.  I was going to cover BONSOIR here,  too,  but then I realised a three-in-each-part format would probably make more sense  (and make it all a little more balanced).  Second and final part will be up soon.  Have a nice night!  I’ve been justbcmb,  thanks for sticking around.

[snickerdoodlles]

WIP game

i was tagged by @doyou000me and @the-cookie-of-doom to do this, so let's gooo. please send in asks, i love these games, but i will also be answering these during breaks as i catch up on work, so it might take me a bit to respond (but i will respond to all of them!)

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

*as i said, i'm doing this as i catch up on work and so i will be breaking both rules myself, but for whoever else i tag that wants them! 😂 i will also be breaking the third unofficial rule because i have more WIPs than just kinnporsche, but. idk. i might put a few at the end, but some require a lot of context to explain and meh

ANYWAYS:

idiots & idioms (series): --[pot stirring] (vegas youtube) --[worms???] (series finale)

talk shit, get hit (series): --porsche coda --kimchay joongle --[king's knight]

fake omegaverse

heart burdened

Insatiable (*cw: incest)

Single Star Review

The Lives of Mr. Gold (*gone fishing fic off-shoot)

timeloop

Your Presence Surrounds

i also have more story ideas for Vampire Thrall (vampire!kim) and Hoarding for Beginners (dragon!chay). mostly horny stuff tho.

as for non-kp stuff uhh. jeff cinematic universe is like...too much to explain lol, but i have a WIP for wuju bakery (yes, the one that's STILL NOT OUT) you can ask about! i also have a lot of bad buddy stuff that's been haunting me, waiting for the right mood to strike. i dont want to list those out here, but you can ask about any incomplete fic/series from my AO3 or [grasshoppers and elephants] fic! ^^b

uhhh gonna tag some writing friends i recognize from my recent notifications. i am so sorry if i accidentally tag someone who isn't a writer here lol, but tagging: @iworshipsappho @faillen @semantics-error @moondal514 @kumeko @fawndlyvenus @lori0018 @alanblackthrone @sweet-william-writes @technicallyburninggarden @okaybutlikemakeitgay @vyther16 and anyone else who's been waiting for a tag to do this ❤

[shame-is-a-wasted-emotion]

It sucks to be a lonely theatre fan in this country !!

Here me out. I know Wicked is out and I've been waiting to watch it. To my surprise, there is one theatre (which is the mall, highest quality) which is screening one show per day till Wednesday. I thought I could go. But no one has booked any seats. So that would be a ghost theatre. My parents would obviously not allow it for me being a woman in India is horrible and anything can happen. I had to drop Wicked now and I have to wait for unofficial websites to release it. Which is Wednesday.

Anyway I saw the reviews on the booking platform and there were many positive comments. There were some stupid comments like "Don't pay for this ...not worth", "mid ass songs and movie full of songs." I was like, " Bitch it's a musical ,not a movie". I don't know. These dumbass people don't deserve musical theatre based movies. All they want is masala and some crap.

End of it. Now I have regretted twice for being in India. Once for Maybe happy ending and now this. Atleast I can watch one.

End of rant.

[ro994art]

Bluey Minisodes Minireviews: Part 2!

Hello again, people! I've been needing something to distract myself from a few media disappointments I've been getting lately from certain franchises I once enjoyed. And just in the nick of time arrive some short, sweet, lighthearted slice-of-life adventures from everyone's favorite Australian blue pup.

I'm talking, of course, about the new Bluey minisodes! I don't know about you guys, but to me these were a welcome break from... well, a lot of things happening right now. I reviewed the first batch of these back in July, so I thought, why not give my quick thoughts on these as well? I guess I've unofficially become a Bluey reviewer now? A minireviewer at the very least, LOL.

⚠️ As always, spoilers for these shorts below the cut.

🖍️ Tattoo Shop

Without a doubt, this short is the PERFECT representation of what it's like to be a Girl Dad™. 😂 Bandit knew what he was getting into no doubt, but I like how he still played along. Of course, this is Bandit Heeler we're talking about, so we wouldn't expect less. I think that's pretty much all I have to say about this one. Oh, and that the design of the tattoo the girls did was really pretty, I kinda want it as a sticker x)

🦄 Phoney

Unicorse returns! He's not exactly my favorite character (or, running gag, I guess?), but I admit that he does make for some fun scenes, especially when he isn't acting extremely annoying, and I found his annoyance levels in this short to be at just the right amount. Plus, it was satisfying to see the girls "defeat" him, so to speak, at the end. 😂 I just hope stuff like this doesn't happen with too much frequency whenever Chilli tries to relax, because otherwise, Bandit is in serious danger. 😅 (I'm joking of course, we've seen Bandit know when to give Chilli her space, and that's great. He can still have fun from time to time, he just better find his wife in a good mood x'D)

🏰 Blocks

Okay, I really loved this one. Definitely tied for my favorite from the batch with another one that I'll mention in a bit x) Some of you may know this, but along with mom-centered Bluey episodes, I also have a soft spot for grandmother-centered Bluey episodes, since I grew up with my mom and grandma until the latter passed away last year (and it's one of the reasons why I really love the episode "Charades" despite it apparently being one of the most hated once in the fandom, but I digress 😅)

Anyways, up until now, we hadn't seen all that much of Nana Chris and Grandpa Bobba interacting and just, y'know, being an old married couple, so we finally got that, albeit in the midst an unusual circumstance, but I still found it really sweet. ❤️ Especially the end. 💖 I also think this might be the first time we've seen time cards used in Bluey? I really like those for some reason, LOL. Another thing I loved about this episode were the background details! I was really nerding out about little stuff such as the colorful pillboxes, the porcelain dog ornaments, the photos on both the fridge and shelves, etc.! As someone who literally lives in her grandma's house, all of those details made it feel more like, well, grandma's house x) I love how much love and effort the designers and animators put into small things like that. They deserve all the praise.

Also, I don't know if I'm crazy, but I'm PRETTY sure that when Bluey asked "Did you leave our blocks up?" near the end, that was the actual, unfiltered voice of her voice actress? Like, a lot of people have said that they've been digitally "de-aging" the kids voices as they've grown older so they don't have to change the actors, and I'm pretty sure her voice during that line sounded older, like they forgot to digitally alter the pitch on that one. Just something I noticed that I'm not sure if anyone else caught or not. 😬

Anyways, that review turned out longer than expected, but I can't help it. I love grandparent eps. 😋

📠 Government

I think this was the unofficial sequel to "Animals" from last batch xD The way they played the game was pretty similar, just with its own Bandit flavor and dad humor of course. I think the biggest take from both of those shorts is that Bingo is REALLY ticklish, but likes getting tickled. 😂 Oh and, the way Bandit curled Bingo into a little ball at the end? I had no idea they could do that, but uhm, okay I guess. 😅

🥁 Drums

Sooooo, Chilli wants to get Bingo into violin? Even though the latter doesn't really seem interested in that? I just hope that's not something that's going to get forced onto her eventually. 😬 I mean, knowing Chilli, I'm sure she won't make Bingo do it if she tells her that she doesn't like violin. And Bingo has been getting better at speaking her mind, so, I think it hopefully won't come to that.

But anyways, about the drums: Bingo's surprisingly good at them for a beginner! 😄 I'm pretty sure she gets it from her dad. 😉 I think this episode was another showcase of "Bingo may seem like a calm and chill kid, but there's also a bit of a wild side to her that not many expect" that's been happening in more recent episodes such as "Dragon". Even though I do appreciate and can better relate to calm characters, that's still a fun side of Bingo to explore, so I hope they keep giving us glimpses of that. Oh, and that they let Bingo play more drums. She seemed to like them. :3

🧸 Browny Bear

This is the other minisode tied with "Blocks" for my favorite of the new batch. 😆 From the title alone, I'm not sure what I was expecting from this, but a film noir parody starring Unicorse's puppet lawyer was definitely not it xD But it was still super fun! A lot of animated shows that I love have actually done film noir parodies, such as the original FOP, MLP:FiM, and Monsters at Work, and those episodes always end up being some of my favorites of their respective season because of how entertaining and funny the format is. Ironically, I've never seen an actual movie of that genre in my life. 😅 I'm not awfully sure if I'd like the real thing, but the parody is always fun to watch LOL. And even though they didn't make the episode black-and-white like is usual with this type of episodes, the way they worked with the sharp shadows through the half-open blinds was VERY clever, like this is how the family is actually playing this. Smart move, animators. 👏

I wouldn't mind seeing Browny Bear more often. He was quite funny and, in my opinion, more tolerable than Unicorse. 😅 (I like the guy, he's just a bit much sometimes 😬)

Oh, and like I said: Bingo gets it from her dad. 😉

🌊 Whirlpool

This one was just cuteness overload x) I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who got nostalgic flashbacks of playing in inflatable pools in the backyard as kids. ☺️ I personally never played this game, though, and even if I had thought of it, I don't think I could've, since the inflatable pools my family owned were very little even for a kid. 😅 But it looked like these kiddos were having a blast, and that made my heart happy. AND CHUCKYYYYYYYY!!! I love that they included him, I LOVE Chucky, he's such a sweet character with an ADORABLE design. I'd love to see more of him. More love for Chucky pls. 💛

Final thoughts:

Like I said, I've been needing more Bluey lately. These little shorts in particular always make for some great mind soap if you just want to watch something sweet and fun. Though, similarly to what I said in the last review, I would still like to see other characters besides the main Heeler family get explored in these. We did get a bit of that with Nana and Grandpa, besides Lucky's involvement, but again: Why not give us a Pompom short? Or a Calypso short? Maybe a glimpse of Winton and the Terriers ajusting to living together? While yes, we all love the core Heelers, this show also has so many other great, beloved characters, and these 90-second shorts could be cool opportunities to get a bit more from them.

But, I reiterate: I will never complain about more Bluey content. Could there be more done with these? Sure. Am I mad at what we got? Not at all! I still have a blast watching them, and a 15 minute break from both real life and fandom-related stresses is always welcome.

Can't wait for whatever Bluey content may come next. ✨

[mysteryinkkat234]

The Night of Pleasure and The Past (Astarion x F!Tav/Reader)

I have lived, where have I been, how should I explain myself? The short version: work, school, low motivation, and being very very sad. But I'm back again, with a new obsession. For real, if I'm not working or at school or doing homework, I'm playing Baldur's Gate (I have four separate playthroughs Gods help me). Anyway, this series, Fangs and Nightshade, is going to be many anecdotes about my playthrough with my blue tiefling cleric, Luxia Nightshade, and her escapades with a sad vampire boy. The stories will be in order in the game so spoilers abound. I hope you enjoy it. If you have any suggestions or story ideas, my inbox is open.

Also shout you to my new friend @leighsartworks216 for peer reviewing, thank you!!

Summary: It was meant to be a night to escape from their days of fantastical shenanigans. A hag, the goblin camp worshipping a new and mysterious god, exploring the Underdark, there was a lot of stress built up in everyone. Luxia Nightshade, resident Cleric and unofficial 'mother' of the group, decided to take up Astarion's offer, to get lost in the night. But during it, she could feel something was wrong.

(This contains spoilers for Act 1 and references to Astarion's past, read with caution)

This is 18+ and deals with a lot of heavy subjects, especially about sex, if you are underage or your account does have an age, DNI

Spice Level Anaheim Pepper (500 - 2,500): This smut contains vaginal sex, outdoor sex, fingering, nicknames (bunny and pup), and basically everything that happens in Astarion's Act 1 companion scene.

Word Count: 4,300+ words

Read and Bookmark this story on AO3

~~~

It was a night of fanfare and victory after the Absolute Cult was defeated in the temple. The tieflings set up a small party at their camp. Everyone seemed to be having a lovely time: singing around their campfire, finally talking casually instead of tactically, and most of the children wanting to pet Scratch.

Everyone was having a great night… except Astarion, leaning on one of the poles holding up his tent, silently chugging the bottle of cheap and gross wine. It’s not that he was grateful to save these tieflings, it was more that it was the first time in two centuries that he did something good, something nice, something to help them instead of to gain something. He didn’t get a choice whether or not he wanted to save these tieflings, that would be the party’s unofficial leader: Luxia Nightshade. 

A blue tiefling with eyes as white as the moon, horns curled like a sheep’s, and the personality of a doting mother. Gale joked that Luxia acts as a mother and the rest of the party are the ‘unique’ children she has to watch over to make sure nobody dies a grizzly and painful death. Soon, that title of ‘mother’ seemed to stick to her. She would laugh at Karlach who instead of calling her ‘soldier’ started calling her ‘mom’. Luxia’s giggling at being called ‘mother’ was almost infectious… almost nauseating.

Astarion hated her. He thought she would be easy to manipulate; he looked almost like a lost child looking for her mother. When Luxia caught him about to bite her, she wasn’t angry… well sort of. More disappointed that he didn’t tell her in the first place. Is she being serious? Was she expecting him the first time they met: ‘Hello, My name is Astarion, I am a vampire’? But, she wasn’t an innocent kid – she was an adult, an adult with an understanding for others, no matter who or where they came from.

He knew after that day that Luxia could be trusted. She wasn’t asking about someone’s personal life for blackmail purposes, she was just genuinely curious. She was an open book.

Astarion thought about this when he saw her, socializing with the party’s wizard, Gale. Gale and Luxia looked perfect together; two magical dorks, plain and simple. It wasn’t that Astarion was jealous… maybe a little bit… He shouldn’t be, I mean, Luxia was pretty open with their friendship, she would probably tell someone that she liked them… and Luxia has said she liked him, as a friend, as a companion… was he reading too much into this?

“Astarion,” her sweet voice broke him out of his questioning. He almost stumbled a bit. She seemed to have a knack for appearing out of nowhere – she was probably small enough to do it too, being the shortest in the group. “Are you… ok?” She asked politely. Astarion coughed.

“Oh! Hello dear, didn’t see you coming.” Astarion lied, trying to act casual.

Luxia didn’t believe it though. Instead, she laughed, covering her giggles with her hand.

She immediately retracts her arm, holding her hands together behind her back. “No, I get it. I assumed you were getting all drunk and merry.”

He laughed at her comment. “You know, I never pictured myself as a hero.” Luxia tilted her head. “Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” Astarion took another slug of wine from the bottle. “I hate it. This is awful.” 

Luxia shook her head, laughing again. “Come on, it wasn’t all bad,” she whined. “We took out the cult from the inside out, we found a ladder to the Underdark, the fire we made in front of the temple. Think about all the goblins you killed with that Alchemist’s Fire!” Her white eyes gleamed when she retold the story. Astarion could see her feet scuttling while she talked, like an excited kid.

He laughed to himself. “True. That was fun. Still, I would’ve liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Luxia gently took the bottle out of Astarion’s hand. She took a sip and made a face. It was sour, almost too sour for it to be edible. She silently gave him back the bottle.

He exhaled through his nose as Luxia made a face. “See?” he asked cockily.

“Yeah… I’m more into sweet alcohol, I’m not a partaker in it anyway,” she said quietly, almost embarrassed by her expression. 

“I’m just looking for a little bit more excitement, a little bit more fun.”

Luxia tilted her head again. She knew where this was going, but she’ll play along. “What do you mean? Is living in constant peril not exciting enough for you?” she quipped back. His laugh was more audible, and her face was flushed, trying not to make direct eye contact. 

“Don’t be so sour – literally,” he snorted. “I like a good time as much as anyone.” Astarion’s ruby eyes trail off to Luxia, analyzing her body. Unlike the last time, when he looked at her and wanted to feed off her, he could feel a heat that wasn’t caused by the fire. She’s so small, Astarion could easily pick her up and ravage her, pin her against a tree, and make her squeak with pleasure… an idea popped into his head. He scratched the back of his neck. “You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling. Get a little closer, so to speak.” His voice became more sultry, trying to lure her in. And it was working. 

Luxia looked down, her face darker from blush. She bit the knuckle of her pointer. She laughed to herself, trying to be composed. “Maaaaybe,” she steps a little closer to Astarion, “if you say ‘please’.”

Astarion was taken aback, dumbfounded. “What?”

She stepped closer and looked directly at him. She leaned forward, their chests almost touching. “Say ‘please’.” 

Her voice… Gods her voice, so sickly sweet, like honey slowly dripping down a hive. Astarion didn’t know she had this confidence – he took her more as the one to get hit on instead of the other way around, or maybe it was liquid courage.

He inhales through his nose, getting closer to Luxia’s ear. “Please?” He whispered. She could feel his hot breath, he could hear her exhaling quickly. He took her breath away. A sly smile planted on his face.

She laughed again, stepping back to give them both space. “Maybe. I’ll think about it. There are some other people I want to talk to. It’s not like I don’t want to, I just…” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Let me think about it, ok?” 

“Hm, fine, I guess,” he sighed, both in disappointment and how he believes, “I’ll be waiting for you. We’ll find each other.” Luxia simply nodded and turned around. However, she was stopped as Astarion kept speaking. “I never thought you could make such a devoted leader. I’m happy for you.”

She smiled, her oddly cute pointed teeth shined in the moon. “Thank you,” was all she said, as she walked away from him, almost skipping for a few steps.

Astarion simply watched, his eyes still moving down to her waist: an innocent little skip with hips swaying back and forth, her tail whipping with it. He sighs, looking up at the stars. He indeed was just looking for some sex and that’s it, but that ‘something’ was back. He closed his eyes and imagined Luxia. Instead of pinned on the tree like last time, he could imagine her in an elegant bed, covered in the silkiest of robes or blankets… no, a nice dark blue silky robe. Maybe one of the sleeves falls off her shoulder, showing off her freckles sprinkled about… no, why was he thinking this? Did he think about this with other people? No, they were only victims, for him.

He looked around, looking for her again. She was with Shadowheart, sharing a bottle of that god-awful wine. Didn’t she just say she didn’t like it? They were laughing and giggling together, Luxia covering her face for a moment, to cover her flushed cheeks. In the night, Astarion could see her moon-shaped eyes looking right at him before she quickly averted her gaze. This was going to be a long night of waiting.

~~~

He rolled his neck as he waited out in the middle of the woods, far away enough from the camp, but not too far away that it would be that long of a walk. He rubbed his chest, thinking deeply. She probably won’t come, he thought. She’s probably with Gale like I thought, using his Mage Hand to pleasure her. 

The rustling of the grass snapped him out of his trance. He turned his head and saw… Luxia? She walked slowly around, clearly looking for him. Astarion took a deep breath and made himself known to her. 

“There you are,” his voice was deeper, more sultry. “I’ve been waiting. Waiting for the moment I set my eyes on you.” He paused, he slowly brought his hand to her face, his fingers tangled in her messy blue hair. She softly smiled. “Waiting to have you.”

She laughed lightly, her hand slithered over his hand, interlocking through the gaps. “You don’t have me, yet.” Her thumb rubbed over his palm, her nails only grazing. “Were you waiting for me this whole time? What would happen if I didn’t show up?”

Astarion chuckled darkly. “Well, you’re here now, aren’t you? And, I don’t think you came here just to talk.” His hand slowly moved to her jaw as he stepped closer, the space between them closing slowly. “I think you want to be known, to be tasted.” His thumb rubbed her bottom lip. Gods her lips were so soft. He’d tasted her blood, and he hoped she tasted just as delectable as that.

Her smile went neutral, and she wrapped her hand around his wrist, taking it away from her face. Despite the feeling, Luxia could feel something underneath the showmanship. it almost felt… uncomfortably familiar. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “What exactly do you want then?”

“What do any of us want? Pleasure. Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy,” he clearly dodged the question with another question. Luxia started picking at the skin on her fingers. “That is what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me?” He smiled, and his hand moved back, this time both of his hands rested on her jaw. 

Maybe he just wanted a distraction: They killed a hag, saved the Emerald Grove, and explored the Underdark – there was so much bottled-up stress that was in everyone. This’ll probably be the only night they get to feel something other than fear. People have different ways of releasing all this stress, and maybe this was his way of dealing with it. Luxia has met people like this and it was fine. She nodded in his hands. “Yes,” she whispered.

His smile turned more sly. “That’s what I thought.” His chuckle sent a shiver down her spine. “Now, how about I help you get comfortable.” Astarion began moving his hands around her body, starting with the blue corset compacting her, loosening it. Luxia sighed, now with her breasts freed from the confines of such an uncomfortable piece of clothing. She started undoing the buttons on her blouse, and soon, her chest was free. Astarion looked in awe.

A chill ran through the forest, making Luxia and Astarion’s nipples harden. Luxia hugged herself, covering her perky breasts in the process. Astarion laughed. “Don’t be afraid, little bunny. I have been waiting way too long to see your gorgeous body.”  

“It’s cold, Astarion,” Luxia whined as Astarion started loosening her pants, pulling them down with her underwear in the process. Luxia could still feel the chill, from head to the tip of her tail that started swaying more quickly than usual.

He laughs again as he loosens his own pants. “Darling, I will have you burning with desire from the inside out, hotter than the Hells itself.” When his pants and underwear were finally off, Luxia stared, trying not to linger for too long, but she was a bit obvious about it. He laughed. “You are just the cutest thing in all of Faerûn.” They finally did it, they kissed. And Gods her lips were just as delectable as he thought: soft with the subtle taste of mint and that sour wine. But, somehow, it tasted sweeter.

His tongue swiped her bottom lip, tasting that mint and wine, and plunging his tongue in. The moan that came out of her, sounded so heavenly, just as sweet as her laugh in the morning. He broke away, a string of saliva the only thing connecting them. Luxia looked into his eyes, red eyes staring back. She noticed that he had these moments of constantly looking around, probably so he could take something without anyone’s notice, but during camp, his eyes were always darting. Luxia felt important at the moment, but there was a feeling that… he was dissociating. 

“Astarion…” she whispered, her breath still taken away. “Are you okay?” she asked with genuine concern, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Oh, I am more than ok.” His voice kept getting darker, his eyes trailing down to her lower half. With a sudden movement, Astarion lifted her up by her bottom, her legs suddenly locked around his waist. He laughed, carrying her and planting her back on one of the trees. His kisses continued, starting from her lovely lips to her neck, littered with freckles.

His lips grazed the puncture wounds, the same marks he made when she let him bite her. As he licked the wound, Luxia’s body shivered again. Inside of the chill was pleasure. “Fuck!” she exclaimed, her grip on his back grew tighter and more painful, her nails close to digging into him. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” She squealed under her breath. 

“Ah, so our innocent leader does have the mouth of a sailor,” he teased her. One hand left her bottom, his fingers masterfully massaging her folds and clit. Luxia gasped again. “I wonder what other cute noises you can make.” Astarion’s finger slips in, Luxia’s plan of desperately trying to keep her moans in has failed. Her body moved up and down Astarion’s body, her fingers moving around his back. Despite all the fights they’d been through together, his skin was quite soft, though she could feel prominent scars on his back – they didn’t feel random, they felt intentional. 

She laughs at Astarion’s little comment. Luxia gave him a slow and sensual kiss. “Really? Because I wonder what kind of cute noises you can make, too.” She leaned her full body forward, making Astarion lose his footing, stumble, and soon fall onto the ground. 

Now Luxia was on top, she thought her flirty little comment would ‘spice things up’, to try and one-up Astarion’s constant comments. But something still didn’t feel right, he was still staring, and his eyes didn’t seem to move to look at her body – not at her tail, freed from the tree, now wagging once again, not her hands on top of him, or even her blown-out white eyes, now filled with desire. Though he had a surprised expression when she ‘pushed him’ down, it immediately shifted to that damned smirk. Is he… getting any satisfaction from this?

Luxia smiled innocently, ready to suggest riding him, or maybe… she could go down on him? Get back at him? When she tries to move down to his lower half, Astarion stops her, gripping her by her shoulder. “Astarion?” she whispered, not sure what he wanted. Astarion through this whole situation didn’t communicate anything to her, he didn’t ask what she wanted, what he wanted. Body language can only go so far, especially when he looked like he was in a dazed state through the whole thing. 

Astarion’s sly smile became more toothy, and with the hand on her shoulder, he pushed her off of him. Luxia was pushed onto the ground, his arms trapped her underneath. “You think you’re shrewd, don’t you? Cheeky little pup,” he chuckled, looking at her shocked and blissed-out face. “Perhaps it’s time for the puppy to finally be punished.” 

He began rubbing himself up and down Luxia’s folds, now wet from Astarion’s previous escapade. He leaned his head down, kissing her neck softly. Even though he was a vampire, and technically undead, his body felt like it was on fire. His kisses felt like small embers hitting her neck, making her squeal and jump from it.

Astarion laughed, probably for the final time tonight. Simultaneously, he inserted himself quickly inside her and bit into her neck.  

Luxia moaned out, a mix of pain and pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck, Astarion’s thrusts were slow at first, probably because he was focusing on sucking Luxia’s blood. “Astarion stop~ I’m going to… pass out.” Her breath was being taken away, and she could feel her body getting weaker and weaker.

“Oh, darling~ Hold on for a little longer,” Astarion moaned out, his fangs finally out of her. His thrusts began getting harder, and the sound of slapping skin echoed into the woods as he sat up, holding her hips in place. Luxia’s hands scrambled, she had the instinct to hold onto his hands, the idea of her finger interlocking with his. When she moved her hands to his, to snake her fingers through, however, Astarion had different ideas. 

He lifted her legs, her ankles now resting on his shoulders. Astarion’s grip on her hips was steely, to the point it was starting to hurt. There was no room for her hands, so instead, she locked onto his wrists. His thrusts became faster, making Luxia more audible, her head snapped back from the pleasure. She started to beg. “Astarion, please~ I can feel it. Please, don’t stop~” she moaned out. The grip on his wrists, her nails were close to puncture his skin. “Please, hah~ Astarion!!” 

Luxia’s eyes were shut tight through the orgasm, her grip on his wrists finally let go, and what remained were small marks, thankfully there was no blood. She tried to open her eyes, the foggy outline of Astarion stretching. Luxia’s head started to hurt, her eyes slowly closed, and the cold embrace of the grass tickled her burning skin. Her breaths were heavy, trying to catch as much air as possible. Luxia let sleep take hold of her, thinking of Astarion holding her, as the world around her became muffled.

~~~

The sun’s rays shot through the branches onto Luxia’s body. Her eyes slowly opened and squinted at the new day upon her. She moaned out a yawn, stretching her legs, arms, back, and tail. Luxia rolled her neck as her vision cleared, and soon the image of Astarion appeared, bathing in the sunlight, his arms spread to take it all in. Astarion told her before that the tadpole allowed him to be in the sunlight without disintegrating. Luxia felt sorry for him – this was probably the first time Astarion got to bathe in sunlight in over 200 years.

She smiled at him, holding onto her knees. “You’re not going to stay and cuddle?” she asked, cheeky but also disappointed, hoping to hold onto someone. 

He inhaled, sighing. “You sleep light. I thought you would be exhausted after last night,” he commented. 

“Yeah, me too,” Luxia laughed it out, holding onto her bruised neck. Feeling the puncture wounds he left, a green glow emanated from her palm, healing the blood and wounds. She went back to a more serious tone, “Did you… enjoy it? You didn’t look like you were… all there.” Luxia said it with genuine concern, hoping he would understand it.

“I was holding back a little, it’s true. I didn’t want to lose control. Delicious as you were, I didn’t want to go too far.” Luxia blushed from the compliment, hiding her face in her knees. “Now, shall we go? I want to go before anyone else thanks me for saving their tails.” His tone changed, and he was quick to leave. Thankfully, Luxia was quick to stop him from leaving, wanting to talk to him more.

She now had a clearer view of the scars on his back. Just like Luxia theorized, the scars formed two circles of Infernal script. She paused, making sure she said the right words without offending him. “Wait, your scars… Where… How did you get them?” she asked in her curious and polite tone like always. It didn’t sound like she was fucked to the high Heavens last night. 

“It’s a poem, from Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. He composed and carved that one over the course of a night. He made… a lot of revisions as he went.” Astarion’s voice grew sad and cold. 

“Gods, I… I can’t imagine.” Luxia stood up as Astarion turned around to face her, stretching out her legs once more. As she walked over to Astarion, she could see the marks more clearly… it was written with a very familiar script. “Why is it written in Infernal?” she asked plainly.

This took Astarion by surprise, This took Astarion by surprise, how fast she was to jump to that conclusion, He was flabbergasted. “Infernal? I… who knows? The bastard was insane.” 

“You know, I could read it for you,” Luxia suggested, eager to help him in any way possible.

His eyebrows raised in surprise at her eagerness. “I… I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Astarion was hesitant at first, Astarion was hesitant at first, but he allowed her to look at his scars. 

Luxia skimmed through the script, inching closer to him. She could piece together certain words that were familiar, but they looked to be random words strung together. “Oaths… fires below,” she whispered, her hand reaching out to maybe feel the words, but Astarion could feel the heat of her hand coming closer, and he stepped away from her, clearly uncomfortable.

“And? What does it say?” Astarion sounded embarrassed and insecure.

“This isn’t a poem. It might be part of a devil’s pact,” Luxia explained. “The word ‘oath’ is definitely a dead giveaway, but other than that, I can’t make out the other words.”

“Really? A tiefling not able to understand Infernal?” he scoffed.

Luxia pouted. “I’m sorry, but did you hear any of the tieflings speaking infernal in the Emerald Grove?” she snapped back.

Astarion paused for a moment, clearly embarrassed. “... A little?”

She laughed it off. “It’s fine. There were no other tieflings living in Karador besides me and my parents. I do know Elvish and Gnomish!” 

“Yes, because that’ll help us in the long run,” he spoke sarcastically, he turned around, not interested in this new information, “Still though, an infernal pact? What was that bastard up to?”

“If he did make a devil’s pact, he’s more dangerous than we thought.” 

“More dangerous than you thought, perhaps. I’ve never had any doubts. But if this is part of a contract, it must be powerful. Or valuable. Or both.” Astarion sighed. “No wonder he wants me back. What have I run off with…?” 

“Does Cazador know Infernal? Did he ever write in it before?” 

“No. I could have missed it, of course, but I doubt it. Cazador was only figuratively hellish - there were never any devils hanging about the crypt. Whatever he’s left carved in my flesh, it’s a mystery to both of us.”

“If you’re comfortable, when we get back to camp, I can get my journal and write out the signs. I can probably find a book that translates Infernal text.”

“... Thank you, that would be… nice.” Astarion relaxed, he picked up his shirt and Luxia’s clothes, handing them to her.

[imjustwritingg]

Just a PSA that your #unofficial review for last night's ep is everything and more 👏 And honestly, if Tracy weren't leaving, I'd be asking/shouting at you to make it a 'thing' for Hailey centrics, because you said all the things I thought and so much more! I wish Gwen had just stayed as a writer, she's clearly better at it. And I still can't get my head around the Jay of it all, it's all just an unnecessary mess. Why does this show always give us more questions than answers?... it's infuriating

Thank you so much!! It’s times like these I miss writing for Spoiler TV, but I don’t have it in me to review every single episode of PD anymore so I’m glad I left that behind when I did. A lot of people seemed to enjoy my unofficial review, (thank you! 🙏🏼) so maybe I’ll do another one, or two separate ones, for the last two episodes of the season.

Gwen really is such a wonderful writer — she can be at least — but I do believe she was promoted to show-runner well before she was ready. It’s like she had just started to crawl and skipped right to running.

You said it best about the Jay of it all. Such a mess!! And always more questions than answers. But hopefully it will be corrected by the end of the season. Well, as much as it can be anyway. 😅

Thanks again for reading and the sweet message!!

[scarecrow-in-a-hatake]

what is so special about the icha-icha plot? I remember you kind of saying that one of these books is a detective/noir novel? is that what it is?

Okay, to be honest? The reason why I hold this series so close to my heart includes more than just the plot— and not in that way, get your mind out of the gutter. Apologies in advance for rambling.

As a bit of context, since I'm hoping most of you who are reading this have never done a deep read of the entire thing: it's officially a trilogy of three books, with those being Icha Icha Paradise, Icha Icha Violence, and Icha Icha Tactics. There's also Icha Icha Innocence, which was published as an interest check just before the three-year hiatus preceding Tactics that the wider fanbase considers an official omake, and Ero Ero Paradigm, which is an unofficial parody spinoff of Paradise released around the same time.

You may have heard some wildly varying reviews about the story, and for good reason. The characterizations are... well, the writing gets better, but the characters don't develop in the sense that they mature, exactly. The protagonist and the main love interest especially are quite static as per traditional legends and folklore, compared to the dynamic characterizations that have grown increasingly popular since I was a kid. But as the situations they're thrown in get more serious, the audience gets to delve deeper into who they are, what makes them tick— what makes them fight. Their motivation to keep getting back up when the world knocks them down, you know? If Paradise is a nostalgic caricature of a halcyon youth, then Violence is symbolic of the struggles of adulthood and maintaining those connections. Or not maintaining them. There's a well-beloved bastard of a third wheel who kind of just disappears, and the implication is that he was lost to the war that the book very subtly hints is going on in the background. Tactics is the one you're probably referring to as a detective-noir novel, since two of it's five parts are dedicated to finding said bastard. I won't spoil any further than that.

Anyways. Paradise is divided into three sections. I didn't make it far into the first one when I skimmed through it as a young teen— Jiraiya-sama himself left it on my nightstand during a hospital stay, if you can believe that. Signed and everything. It was only after Icha Icha Violence was released that I gave the series a genuine shot, though, and I'm glad I did.

...but if you're looking for pure filth with no deeper meanings attached, get yourself a first edition copy of Tactics for the fifth section. You don't even need to know anything about the rest of the series to enjoy the, er, celebratory activities. Fair warning, though, it's a bit intense. There's a reason why the publishers stopped including it after the initial release.

[ficklecat]

9 and 13!! Happy new years eve fickle! May 2024 be great

Happy new year my friend! I still can’t believe it’s already about to be 2024 🤯

Thank you for the ask! I answered #13 already but here’s #9 for you! (TW for mentions of suicide)

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

I think it’ll have to be Afraid of What Might Be. Digging in to things like mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts is a heavy thing to do in something as seemingly low stakes as fanfic, but I feel so strongly about portraying those things with realism, dignity, and brutal truth. There are so many misconceptions about suicide in particular, so many harmful narratives in online and fandom spaces, and it was important to me to ensure that when I wrote my piece on it, I honored what I know to be true.

I wanted to be careful not to simply remove Kakashi’s despair and flirtation with death simply because he knew he was loved, I wanted to show that even loving people can’t save them, that living is a choice they need to make, and sometimes they do make the choice to stay but it doesn’t mean they’re “cured” or they don’t think about it. I wanted to show how grief can occur even when a life is “saved,” even when someone changes their mind. I wanted to show that not everyone is happy and elated and has a full change of heart after a suicide attempt. In fact, many times they may feel worse - lost, afraid, trapped, or empty. I wanted to show that the most important thing when any of that happens is that the people who love them don’t turn their backs, but also don’t become their unofficial heroes or life-jackets, that they simply remain there to offer hope with open arms, and that when you choose to hold onto someone’s hope, you don’t get to choose when they’re ready for it. You simply hold it as long as you can, and you keep it safe until they’re ready. And they may never be.

Anyway. That fic meant to say a lot. I’m not sure if it did. I hope so.

Send me asks about my 2023 in review!

[p-receh]

I'M BAAAAAACK

Let's continue the missing part from anon's questions.

LET'S GO

Anyway anon. I'm in deeply sorry for late reply. Please don't be mad at me T_T

For me back to my previous rants over that vid of episodes 6. Oboi let himself quite and take a rest a little while to comprehend what he's done while splitting.

Since I thought elementals didn't have an official leader under Oboi, Oboi himself in my headcanon were in sleep paralysis during split. Letting his elementals do the job. So whenever they recombine, I always see Oboi as he just woke up and try to recollect all the dreams he saw.

There's a random hypothesis I came up with while watching movie 2 for the first time: That is Oboi's individual elementals exist and only exist as long as they live in Oboi's.

So when Retak'ka and Tok Kasa pulled them out, the elementals instantly went ... uuuh how you pronounce it? Torpidity? Becoming apparent death as a silent tool to its original owner. Same case when Ki'rana took Halilintar from Oboi via Satriantar's sword(?).

This is proven with how l did mention this before, Oboi is the first one who uses split technique. And the way he handled the elementals is like he treating the elementals like some sort of how people control emotions. This comment I stumbled upon beautifully encapsulates it.

Also I find it quite interesting and almost in a bit shock after Beliung incident and during battle in Gur'latan. The former one is showing how Oboi resigned in lending the Wind power to Lady Kuputeri. Beliung case reminded him a lot of Retak'ka, but I think it reminds him from the first time Angin got his 2nd Tier, Taufan.

(back to my other analysis here. With how huge the wind element that Boboiboy absorbed in Planet Windara, his overwhelming joy unconsciously took over Boboiboy)

Whereas the later is portraying Oboi's actually petrified that Halilintar will got the similar unexpected treatment for the third time!

(The way after he shout then comes a pleading voice right after that. I have a headcanon that the pleading voice was Halilintar's last second slipped in.)

If anything, I see both of them not as Oboi, but the real character of the elementals! | know the spoiler about Halilintar's. But I didn't expect to be this worse. (Now I can see why people went frantic about Halilintar at that issue :3).

It goes back to the picture | found on Pinterest. Please tell me the original link. I can't find it (the font whoever use it was hardly readable for me, I'm sorry ^^`)

This is also goes back to what I've mentioned with Boboiboy movie 1 & 2 review. Everytime he let off his hat. His also let his hidden "weakness" opens up.

But at the same time...

The moments his hat wears off is also to show his proofs as a hero for everyone and his family. Especially for his dad who Oboi's dearly missed. That's why he looked very mature whenever he fight without his hat.

His hat for me is resembles of Monsta's clingingness and guardedness 24/7 to make this series still be kids friendly.

If the season 2 ended with 3rd tier design like that. And movie 3 concept art of him being alone... I don't want any Monsta excuses to not upgrade their age ratings.

No.

You started it. So you face the consequences, Monsta >:(

Ehem.

And the elementals unknowingly helps him to achieve that. If I can make some wild headcanon: No, anon. I don't think the elementals wants to leave Oboi.

Not directly proven but their bondings with Oboi are too strong to divide. If anything, the elementals are unofficially being loyal to him. Movie 2 and galaxy season 2 for is already evident enough. (Also it's how Hang Kasa dreamed of with all elementals being unite to protect the galaxy. He couldn't be more proud when there's a boy did that indirectly. Just like how Gempa purposely being the leader of the elementals :'))

Also.

Linking to what I said about the amnesia problem on previous post. Oddly enough, for comic ver, Monsta didn't dwell further on this problem until Baraju arc. But then again in the same arc, Oboi's mental health hasn't detected any worrisome effects! And he CAN STILL FIGHT normally by using a new fusion not long after recombining??

Like-

bro-What?

Monsta didn't let Oboi fucking rest for the sake of introducing the last fusion, Sopan(Not to make any rudeness for Sopan, mind you. I honestly loves his design and attacks. The most unique design of all fusion if I say so myself). Holy shit both Blaze and lce just did a smash brawl shit and almost unleashed their final smash! If not because of Fang, both the temper duo and Oboi should be dead by now. Period.

[miloscat]

[Review] Sonic Colours Ultimate (PS4)

Lipstick on a pig.

Next on my Sonic chopping block is Colours, originally released on the Wii in 2010. I've played the DS version by Dimps (the unofficial "Sonic Rush 3" although I think of it more as a 2.5) and thought it was fine; sadly even with the enhancements in this Ultimate rerelease I don't think the console version even manages to get that high in my esteem.

As relayed in an opening cutscene that plays after you beat the first level(?), Eggman has built a giant amusement park... er, again. Eggmanland is never brought up once. Anyway, this one's in space! Inexplicably, six mini-planets are tethered together in Mobius's orbit and the new alien mascot blob creatures Wisps have been enslaved to power it all. Sonic and Tails team up with the non-verbal Wisp Yacker to stop Eggman's plan which involves mind control or something.

Well I say Yacker is non-verbal, but they do speak in Wisp language. Tails's role in the story is to build a translator machine so they can communicate. This leads to many (many) "hilarious" translator gags. Ugh. Colours marks the point where a new team was contracted to punch up the writing in the games, and their initial effort is a gigantic fumble. The dialogue is constantly cringe-inducing, with anaemic quips that get driven deep into the ground through repetition. I'm told that Eggman has some good lines delivered over a PA system that runs in the background of stages, but they're mixed so low that I could never make out what he was saying!

Eggman's new minion bots Orbot and Cubot exist solely for wacky hijinks, which also rarely lands. And I've now named all the characters in the game. Eggman's unnamed orbital park feels so empty; cutscenes are often just Sonic talking either to himself or an unresponsive Badnik boss, or filling the air with mind-numbing banter with Tails. This is the peak of the era of paring the cast back to the bare minimum for no reason, and the game really suffers for it. The DS version at least had a bunch of folks popping up briefly; here they're conspicuous in their absence. There's not even nameless imperilled citizens, and this is supposed to be the opening day of a theme park!

As for the gameplay, we’re firmly in the “Unleashed Day” mould, with boosting and so on. Colours is so stingy with boost though; you don’t get it from collecting rings, or doing game actions, only from white Wisp capsules (and defeating certain enemies but not others??). And it feels like later on they just forget to put boost Wisps in, so I often felt lacking. The Ultimate release tries to alleviate this by awarding boost meter for good timing on homing attacks but this only gives the merest pittance, so it doesn’t solve the problem.

The balance of 3D and 2D also feels off, with many of a given zone’s six acts being almost mini-levels that are solely in 2D. Others are a mix but it leans heavily on 2D sections. This may be a symptom of lower budget since asset-heavy 3D segments are expensive. It also is likely a concession to the big new Wisp gimmick, which give Sonic temporary transformations; the majority of them only appear in sidescrolling parts, I guess because they couldn’t figure out how to make them work in 3D. They don’t seem to have quite figured out how to make them fun in 2D either but that’s just my opinion.

The game is quite short; I just tore through it. Well, some parts of it are too long like the gruelling final level—an autoscroller with a lack of checkpoints—and certain dragging boss fights (and by the way there’s only three bosses for six worlds because they recycle the designs). A side mode offers co-op play in bland “virtual” levels, unlocked by collecting red star rings, but it doesn’t extend the play time by much.

The Ultimate version has a handful of enhancements worth noting. Lives have been eliminated (thank you!), replaced by balloons which have Tails rescue you from pits without returning to a checkpoint. A new Wisp has been added, as well as races against Metal Sonic (glorified time trials, one per world, taking place in existing levels and needing to be unlocked). A new token collectible lets you buy cosmetics but it’s a much shallower system than Forces’ fun customisation. There’s also a newly arranged soundtrack, although I preferred the original which is thankfully now a selectable option after a patch.

I can’t speak to the performance of the Wii original but this rerelease looks great and runs solidly. The cutscenes are a letdown by being quite crunchy, upscaled in some way from the Wii’s SD FMVs. But the world of Colours is very, erm, vibrant, the environments popping with, uh, various hues. So it lives up to its name in more ways than just the spectral-coded Wisps.

It feels a shame to have another misstep just as Unleashed seemed to be getting things onto a better footing. But Colours despite some artistic flair and a polished movement system is stacked with unforced errors. The Ultimate version has a bunch of tweaks but all told they don’t amount to a true and deep addressing of the weaknesses of the original game. Not to mention the additions Dimps made to the DS version not present here or on Wii: its expanded cast of friends, the Mother Wisp, new bosses and the extra postgame boss fight, special stages, more Wisps, the concept art gallery… maybe that version is the real definitive release!

[minetteskvareninova]

Anyway I wanted to link this one in my review of the last episode of Il Medici, but I forgot, so here it is - a statistics-based explanation of how the Medici used their wealth and soft power to subvert the traditional oligarchic democracy of the Florentine Republic and make themselves unofficial monarchs Augustus-style. It's a fascinating read for anyone who is interested the Medici family, I very much recommend it.

[teecupangel]

Hey there, imagine an AU that has a fledgeling company a'la 23andMe who is trying to ione-up Abstergo in ancestry research because they are trying to monopolize stuff. And Desmond, during drunken lark at work, sends them his test. And see... They freak out because Desmond hits as only near human. And contact him. Wanting to meet and also cautioning him against doing other tests due to Abstergo owning a lot of them. Que conspiracy hatched by this company and Desmond going along

As much as I like the idea of making Abstergo's life miserable by turning Desmond into some kind of science-world celebrity, Abstergo would either buy the company out or some kind of scandal or 'accident' would probably happen even before they could go public with the preliminary results. Not to mention, scientific studies go through lots of reviews, including peer reviews (at least, those who are serious and wants to be taken seriously, not just out for... clout or something). Peer review is good... until you think that there's no way Abstergo doesn't have goons there too.

Soooo... have a little fic of how I think this would go?

I guess Derek Milton is now Desmond’s unofficial ‘fake name’ on my tumblr. I should have made it Miller instead. That would have been dumber.

Sidenote: My fics usually use either Delsin Mercer or Nathan Walker because I like references

=============================

“Hey, Derek.” Ted bumped his shoulder against Desmond, making Desmond freeze briefly before turning to look at him. Ted leaned close as he whispered, “I think that girl’s checking you out.”

“I wouldn’t mind more tips.” Desmond jokingly said, turning his head to look at where Ted was staring. The girl with the tightest bun to have ever been conceived by human mind waved at Desmond with both of her hands before the older man next to her grabbed both of her hands and pushed them back to the table, whispering to her something they couldn’t hear from the bar. Desmond raised an eyebrow as he recognized the pair and replied, “Oh, it’s Doc and Lizzie.”

“You know them?” Ted asked curiously.

“They had a flyer up on my apartment’s bulletin board. They were looking for volunteers for their ancestry genetic company.” Desmond replied as he wiped the glass in his hand, “Paid me a couple of bucks to swab my mouth and poke my nose.”

“Well, they seem excited.” Ted noted before patting Desmond’s back, “Go. You still haven’t taken your break anyway. Might as well do it while everyone’s busy dancing.”

“I was planning on taking it when it gets really busy.” Desmond joked as he placed the glass and towel down.

“Don’t you dare! I’ll kill your ass!” Ted shouted as Desmond began to make his way towards the table of the two excited… Desmond wasn’t actually sure if they were just colleagues or maybe a father and daughter duo?

“You can try!” Desmond shouted back with a grin before turning to face the two as he reached their table. He continued to stand as he greeted, “Hey, Doc, Li-”

Both of them pulled Desmond to their table roughly and Desmond’s chin almost smacked the table. Desmond was sure they all looked super weird and stupid, their upper body bent so close to the table Desmond was sure his back was going to hate him tomorrow.

“Mister Milton! What do you know about your family?” Doc asked in a hurried whisper with wide eyes.

Desmond frowned as he replied, “Pretty much nothing. Never met anyone. Just me and my parents.”

Desmond ignored the flash of memory his mind conjured up, reminding him how he heard from his dad that the Templars had killed them before Desmond was born.

“Well…” Doc took out a rumpled folded paper and quickly unfolded it, placing it on the table as he explained, “This is your ancestral result. We had to check it ten times just to be sure. Even borrowed a friend’s equipment to check if maybe the one we have is faulty. But, if you look here, it says here that you have approximately 9%-”

“You have alien DNA!” Lizzie exclaimed in a loud whisper, making Doc hush her which she just ignored as she continued, “Oh my god, Derek! You’re an alien!”

Desmond stared at the both of them for a few seconds before nodding, “Oh. Cool.”

Seeing Desmond’s underreaction, Doc pointed at the paper repeatedly as he said, “No, no, no, we’re serious, Mister Milton. Look here. This is the DNA of an average human.”

Then he pointed at another part of the paper as he said, “And here is your DNA.”

It all just looked like numbers and words Desmond could barely read so he just hummed.

“We don’t think you’re an alien.” Doc stressed, giving a passing glare at his excited companion.

“Oh, that’s good.” Desmond nodded, although… considering he was using fake IDs and have no actual legal documents, the term ‘alien’ did sorta applied to him. Just not in a sci-fi kind of way.

“We think you’re a descendant of an alien race.” Doc announced and Desmond stared at him for a few seconds.

“Suuureee…” Desmond drawled, wondering if he should break into their lab and take all of the samples they took from Desmond.

“We’re serious, Derek!” Lizzie whispered loudly, “This is huge!”

“Huge? This is groundbreaking!” Doc looked at Desmond with such a joyful expression that Desmond felt bad for thinking that they were a couple of nutjobs, “Mister Milton, this will answer so many questions we have in both history and in genetics! Your genes are the key to-”

Desmond tuned him out, not because he didn’t want to hear more (he did, it sounded like a plot of one of those dumb low budget sci-fi movies he watches when he gets bored) but because his instinct took over, making him raise his eyes without being too obvious about it. His vision zeroed in on the three men that has just entered the bar, noticing that their eyes immediately went straight to the table Desmond was sitting on before quickly turning around as if they were just scanning the room. The three men walked in different directions and…

Desmond saw the outline of a gun strapped behind one of the men, hidden by his jacket and pants.

Desmond’s eyes scanned the entire bar, noticing two of the men had sat on separate tables.

Near the main entrance and the fire exit.

They’ve covered the two main exits…

The last man went to the bar and Desmond knew the moves that Ted was making.

The man had ordered a nonalcoholic drink.

“Doc.” Desmond whispered quietly, leaning closer as he asked, “Did you tell anyone about my DNA result?”

“No. Not yet.” Doc added, “I mean, we would need your approval to announce it, after all, since-”

“But did anybody else see it? Did anyone else checked it?” Desmond cut him off, keeping his eyes on Doc even as he noticed that the man was making his way towards them with his nonalcoholic drink in hand.

“Uuuhh…” Doc and Lizzie looked at each other before Lizzie replied to Desmond, “I mean, I guess Doc’s friend saw it too?”

“And where does your friend work?” Desmond pressed just as the man sat on the table next to them even though there were more empty tables nearer to the bar or the dancing floor.

“He works for Abstergo.”

Fuck.

“But he’s a nice man! Been helping me with getting this business up and running! Even checks my notes for me!” Doc exclaimed with a smile that only made Desmond feel bad.

His dad’s words began to whisper inside his head and he sighed as he said, “I think we need to go.”

“Yes! We should return to our labs and-”

“No.” Desmond grabbed the paper and pocketed it as he said, “Your lab’s probably been hit already. If you’re lucky, they just took all your stuff. If you’re not lucky… well, probably torched it or something.”

“What?” Both Doc and Lizzie looked at him with a confused expressions that reminded Desmond of puppies.

That had been the reason why he had agreed to volunteer his DNA in the first place. It was clear to Desmond that these two were nice people who may or may not yet realize that Doc’s supposed friend might have been using them.

And now they have Desmond’s DNA.

Desmond wanted to believe that Abstergo wasn’t out to get him but considering there were three armed men that just entered minutes after Doc and Lizzie came in?

Desmond wasn’t going to take the chance.

Not when he had just been free for the past five years.

“Just…” Desmond sighed.

It would be easy to give them the slip.

Just tell Doc and Lizzie that he needed to check something or he had to return to work. Slip into the employee’s room and get out through the window.

But he can’t do that.

Not when Doc and Lizzie were in this fucking mess because of him.

Desmond took out his phone and dialed the only number he had ever memorized. He placed it on his ear and waited.

The person on the other line picked up even before the second ring was finish.

But didn’t speak.

So Desmond just said, “Bar called Bad Weather, Brooklyn, New York. Three men. Main entrance. Fire exit. Table to my left.”

There was silence before he heard a voice he both wished and didn’t wish to hear ever again.

“Ten minutes. Keep the call.”

Desmond froze when he heard it.

“Remember your training.”

The voice didn’t say anything else but Desmond didn’t drop the call. Instead, he slipped the phone back to the back pocket of his pants as Lizzie asked, “Who did you call?”

Desmond’s face turned blank as he replied in a monotone voice, “My dad.”

=============================

Okay, so I made Desmond younger, 21 years old to be exact, in this one because I think the main reason why Desmond got caught in canon is because he got sloppy. Nine years of peace made him think that he’s in the clear and can be a bit ‘adventurous’. But a younger Desmond would be more paranoid and still kinda dumb. That also means that this is a Desmond that has less experience being away from Bill soooo… yeah.

For those worried that this means Desmond would be taken in by the Assassins (and Bill) after they rescue them... My preliminary idea is that Desmond gets the Assassins to take Lizzie and Doc in while getting info to why his DNA flagged Abstergo. He learns about Altaïr and Ezio then gives the Assassin the slip. He can't go back to Bad Weather sooooo...

Guess Desmond just has to have an impromptu trip out of New York