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wall-maria-fritz · 3 years

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The Wingman (Erwin Smith x Marie)

Chapter 6: The Scout

Reposting this because I am officially overhauling my @levi-lives blog, in lieu of this one because SOMEONE Tumblr won't let my posts show up from there anymore! grrrr.

@levi-lives blog is still up tho, if you would like still see my original posts

THE WINGMAN MASTERLIST

A/N: FINALLY! So remember when I said this chapter was only going to be 5k words? WELL BEEYATCH IT’S 6.5K WORDS HAPPY UPDATE, HAVE A NICE DAY. In retrospect, it seems like I can only seem to write when I’m heartbroken and depressed, haha *sweats nervously at my 27 remaining chapters* But hopefully this thick boi of a chapter would be worth the wait! I’m just a little swamped these days, thanks to Ms. Rona’s world tour so updates are pretty sparse. But don’t you worry child, bc I still plan on finishing this baby. Music Inspo: Dream Sweet in Sea Major by Miracle Musical Crime by Private Island Do It All the Time by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME The Boys Are Too Refined by The Hush Sound The Other Lover by Little Dragon

The Wingman Playlist

Chapter 6: The Scout

Krolva District, Wall Rose

Spring, 825

“Mama, why can’t I go to school with Papa and Derek yet?”

Erwin whined in his little voice. His chubby little legs were swinging and bouncing up and against his bum from where he was sprawled out on his mother’s Persian carpet, with his favorite picture book of The Secret Garden opened in front of him—Erwin has always been an avid reader. And he loved The Secret Garden best of all.

Agatha Smith looked up from her paperwork. As Krolva District’s council chairperson, she’s been busy reading through district reports all morning. For the most part, her son has been quietly reading his book like the good boy he is. But Agatha knew her son, and it was only a matter of time before her little genius started asking her the curiosities which—how Erwin would say—‘bugged his mind.’

“Because you’re still little, darling. You’re just three years old!” Agatha smiled brightly at her baby, hoping it would help convince Erwin why he can’t go join his father and brother yet. Although, Agatha tried to ignore the twinge of sadness in her stomach at the thought of her son growing up.

She was perfectly fine with her baby staying home, and keeping her company; safe in her home office for the rest of forever.

Erwin meanwhile, as much as he enjoyed reading and coloring in his mother’s pretty office—with all the big books, the many vases full of flowers, and the ever-present smell of strawberry tea—still wanted to go on the adventures Derek would tell him about whenever his brother comes back home in the afternoon.

School just sounded so fun to Erwin! He wanted to play with kids like him, and read more books!

Erwin puffed up his cheeks, ‘It wasn’t fair. How come Derek gets to go, all because he’s older?’

“But I thought you said I was a big boy already!”

Agatha tried to hide her smile at Erwin’s quick retort. Her son has always been a clever boy.

“Well, you need to get just one more year bigger,” the boy’s mother says, as she held up one finger.

Erwin pouted. His cheeks were starting to grow red; the boy was going to cry.

“ookay, ookay,” Agatha immediately stood to scoop up her son the moment she saw him rubbing at his blue eyes. She repositioned him at her hip, and peeked into the little boy’s clear blue eyes.

Her husband’s eyes.

Tiny drops of tears were already rolling down Erwin’s chubby, red cheeks. Like tiny little diamonds.

Agatha cooed, “I’m sorry you can’t go with Papa and Derek yet, but don’t you like staying with mama at home?” Agatha’s cobalt eyes peeked into Erwin’s. Erwin nodded, still swiping his small fists at his tears.

“How about Mama makes you your favorite strawberry pie, huh? Would that make you feel better?”

Erwin’s teary eyes looked up at his mother, “You’ll make me lots?”

His mother only ever gave him one slice since she’s very particular about making sure her boys are eating healthy.

And anyways, as a working mom, having two sugar-rushed boys isn’t going to help her productivity. Nor does she want them to be spoiled.

It’s a different story for Erwin’s father, though. Jonathan was really a child himself, and saw no problem in giving his sons a few extra slices of pies.

As long as his wife never finds out, of course.

Agatha pauses at the request. Lots of slices meant lots more strawberries to pick. She glanced back at her pile of paperwork, and all the district proposals waiting for her approval to peruse. Agatha knew she simply did not have the extra time to pick strawberries.

“Well, then why don’t you go ask Sibyl to accompany you to pick yourself the juiciest, sweetest strawberries we have, yeah? Don’t you want to pick the best ones, Erwin?”

Erwin immediately perked up, “Yes, please Mama! I want to pick the strawberries!”

And just like, Erwin’s little legs ran him out the room and to his nanny for an hour of chores.

Not only did she calm her son down, that was also one task off her planner. Agatha patted herself. ‘Nice save, Mrs. Smith.’

When Jonathan and Derek arrived home that afternoon, Jonathan immediately sought out his wife, who was at the patio overlooking the garden. She was busy setting up tea and freshly baked pie slices for her two other boys, while a little Erwin was already happily scooping up the last of his strawberry pie.

Jonathan kissed the top of his wife’s sandy blonde head, and patted his younger son’s golden one.

“Someone’s been chowing down!” Jonathan’s laughter seemed to boom to Erwin’s ears. “Wow! Seems like Mama’s been spoiling you today, huh?” Jonathan’s clear blue eyes crinkled tenderly as he watched Erwin drop a big strawberry into his tiny rosebud mouth

“PIES!!!”

Derek immediately ran and seated himself down the moment he saw the treats. He excitedly took a teaspoon, started scooping himself big portions of strawberry pie.

“Hey young man, kiss mama first,” Jonathan chides his eldest. Agatha bends down, and soon enough Derek gives his mother a kiss on the cheek. Though, the kid was didn’t even look away from the treats.

Jonathan was about to say more, but his wife just patted his chest sweetly, and mouthed, ‘it’s fine.’ The parents watched their kids eat, while gently reminding them to slow down and make space for dinner.

In the middle of tea time, with his mouth full of strawberries, Derek exclaims, “You won’t belieeeeve what Papa taught us today, Erwin!”

Erwin looked to his brother in wonder, “Tell me, tell me!” Erwin caught his mother’s disapproving look.

“…please?”

Before Derek could gulped down what he was chewing, Jonathan already cut in. “Aww, don’t tell spoilers, Derek.”

“Spoilers?” two pairs of little clear and cobalt blue eyes looked to their father.

“It means, let your brother find out our lesson himself once he’s your age,” Jonathan says as he gives Derek a little tickle. Derek giggled happily.

“Awwwwww,” Erwin whined, knowing he’d have to wait a while, seeing as Derek was already six.

“But I wanna know, Papa,” he pouted.

“Want to,” Agatha corrected.

“I want to know, Papa.”

“Alright, alright,” Jonathan gave in. He couldn’t really resist his sons. “How about I tell you the Legend of King Arthur and The Excalibur tonight. Does that sound good?”

The boys cheered, already babbling how that was their favorite story, and how excited they were for bedtime. Another tactic Jonathan picked up from his clever wife to get the boys into bed.

“As long as,” Agatha cautioned within the din of giggles, “You smarty-pants go to bed on time.”

Agatha had an eyebrow quirked up, as she turned to give her husband a stern look as well. As if saying, ‘You better make sure, Jonathan.’

All three, effectively charming their mom, were already giving her puppy dog eyes. Jonathan proceeded to solemnly cross his heart, and so did the boys.

For Erwin, his father was not only the smartest person he’s ever met, he was also the most fun. His dad was so fun, that even his stressed out mother would laugh whenever he’s around.

And every night, Jonathan made sure to read to his kids. Animatedly telling them stories of far off lands and great dragons for kings and princes to slay.

Every night, passing on to his sons the yearning to dream beyond. To look beyond. To look around their realities with a curious, ever-critical eye.

And it was something the brothers picked up well, as the two grew up locking themselves in their home library, getting lost in volume after volume. Their fair heads joined together as they poured into a book on the carpeted floor.

Even after what ultimately happened, Derek stayed firm and true; Erwin’s best friend and brother till the very end. The two swore to defend their father’s legacy. Dedicated their hearts to finding out the truth because really,

They were still the little children listening to their father’s stories in wonderment.

~~~

Whispers and shuffling snap Erwin out of his ruminations.

Already at the Corps’ Archives Office with his father’s research journal hidden beneath several notebooks and volumes of military discourse (and perhaps a love letter for a certain bright eyed woman), Erwin hesitated at turning the doorknob.

Was some other cadet using the office today? Erwin was sure he read Derek’s schedule correctly before burning the letter. Then Erwin had his answer;

“Oh Derek, please!”

Considering his brother’s uhh… reputation, it wasn’t difficult to guess what exactly was happening on the other side of that door.

Erwin shook his head, ‘That letter wasn’t kidding. He’s got a girl alright.’

And with a smirk, he then swings open the door—

Adeline Müller jumps off of her lover in a panic. It was clear by the disheveled locks of her platinum blonde hair, as well as her smushed cherry lip gloss that the two have been busy.

“E-Erwin!” she exclaims, trying to smooth down her now-crinkled nurse’s uniform as gracefully as she can despite the situation.

Adeline’s doe-like purple eyes flitted between her lover and his brother’s knowing look.

Erwin smiled courteously at the lady, “Good morning, Nurse Adeline.”

“Hi.” Adeline gulps, as her small hand flies to hide the creeping blush at her neck.

Erwin then looks pointedly at his brother, a smug look on his face.

“Derek.”

Derek puffed out an exasperated breath.

“Brother.” Derek grits out as his eyes turn to slits. “Punctual as always.”

Erwin gestured offhandedly, a picture of nonchalance, “You called for me.” His polite but teasing smile comes back, and turns to Adeline, who has now managed to put her little nurse cap to rights on her head. “I hope my brother’s been a good patient, seeing as you’ve been busy helping him feel better, miss.”

Derek puffs out his chest at that, his Scouting Legion uniform making his already imposing height look even more domineering. He pulls a profusely blushing Adeline to his side, proudly beaming out, and “Oh I’ve been an excellent patient, Erwin. Little Nurse Adeline here has been tending to my Titan bone—“

“Shut up!” came the woman’s cry after giving her lover a good smack to the arm. She tried to look as menacing as she can in the face of all the cajoling, but see…

…she was just too cute, and the fierce eyes just really weren’t working.

Adeline Müller was already a remarkably petite woman. And at that very moment, not only did she feel miniscule, she also wished the ground would swallow her up in embarrassment.

Well, Adeline supposes, at least it was just Erwin. Any other cadet, and news would have reached her father and…

Adeline shivered, ‘Who knows what he would do to her Derek?’ Nonetheless, she knew what Erwin was here for, and she was more than willing to leave.

Derek started chuckling, and leaned down to tenderly kiss the top of her head. Suddenly, all was forgotten, and Adeline was once again gazing dotingly up at her lover. Derek then whispers ‘conspiratorially’ at his brother, “Legion perks.” Then winks at Adeline.

Adeline rolls her big purple eyes, while Erwin just gave a slow, sarcastic nod, his mouth forming an—

‘Ah.’

Before the most infuriating brothers in the Three Walls decided to tease her again, Adeline hastily darts over to Derek to give him a peck, saying that the Head Nurse will be looking for her at the Infirmary soon, which Derek returns with whispering in the poor girl’s ear, before kissing her hand.

Whatever it was, had Adeline blooming red, her eyes growing to saucers. She swats at Derek again, before flying out the door, she pauses;

“Bye, Erwin. And please tell Mike that Mrs. Kissling is onto him and Greta!”

Then the tiny blonde all but runs out the office.

Erwin sighs inwardly, ‘Even the fucking nurses Mike?!’

“Yes, ma’am!” Erwin hollers back. His face turns serious as he faces his brother,

“Müller’s going to castrate you.”

“Hah! I can outrun Corpse Cock on foot, and he still won’t catch me even if the old bastard used 3DMG!”

“She’s engaged. To Alexei Lobov, no less.”

“And? I’m pretty much as good as dead with what I do. What’s some butterball nobleman gonna do to scare me?”

Derek swept back the same golden blonde hair as Erwin’s, while his cobalt blue eyes twinkled.

“Besides, I’m not going to go around fighting Titans to have Corpse Cock and some pig getting in the way of me and my girl,” came Derek’s obnoxious reply with his equally obnoxious grin.

Derek Smith was a man with what their mother calls ‘an award-winning smile.’ This was only accentuated by his Smith-good looks, his ever-present stubble, and perfect teeth.

Erwin snorted sarcastically, “Nice to see the Titans haven’t scared the jackass out of you yet, Derek.”

Although Erwin’s brother can be a smart-mouthed git, hearing his familiar Wall Rose twang alone was enough to bring back the nostalgia of home. Soon enough, both men were shaking their heads and chuckling fondly, knowing full well that no other man within the three walls could understand the other, as much as each other.

And within that familiar bubble of a moment, the Smith brothers finally move to give each other a firm hug.

Derek Smith’s thick eyebrows (it’s genetic, unfortunately) crinkled in concentration, as he was hunched over trying to discern the messy scrawl of his father’s handwriting. Derek rubbed at his stubble, a frown marking his lips, “Sweet Sina Dad, it’s like you don’t want anyone to ever read your work.”

“Speak for yourself,” Erwin retorts, a hand over his jaw, as one hand held Derek’s report up to the light, slowly realizing that the sun wasn’t making his brother’s writing any more legible. “It’s like reading code, Derek. You write your reports to Shadis like this?” Erwin turns to his brother with an incredulous look, lightly chucking the paper atop the mahogany desk.

“Hey, they asked for a researcher, not a clerk,” Derek retorts, throwing a hand up.

It was almost like a ritual for the Smith brothers to pour over the leather journals of Jonathan Smith whenever they have their intelligence meetings. It was a nice way to revisit and review whatever their father theorized in conjunction to what new information they’ve got.

The journals’ old leather smell also reminded them of their father, and that was always a comfort—like an intangible slice of their childhood.

Derek straightens up and breathes out, “Alright, give me that Erwin, I’ll just fucking tell you like the baby you are.” He swipes the report from the desk. “Sheesh, I’m like mom reading you The Secret Garden again,” the older brother mutters.

Erwin made face. “At least I don’t write like a cryptid, asswipe.”

“iM eRwIn AnD I nEeD mY BiG BroThEr tO rEaD tO mE.”

“I’m going to break your face.

“Try.”

“You sure? Because I just might, and we both know mom’s going to take my side.”

The two brothers stared each other down. Seething cobalt blue meeting challenging cool blue ones. It was an undeniable fact—Erwin was their mom’s favorite, her baby.

Derek nodded slowly in understanding; his jaw locked, arms crossed over his chest.

“Okay Erwin, low blow. But I’ll give you that.” Derek, still locking eyes with his brother, started shuffling the papers, and flipping to the page he needs.

Erwin just gave a smug quirk of his eyebrows.

Derek cleared his throat. “Shadis managed to scrounge up enough funding to finance an expedition next month.”

“About time.”

“Tell me about it. It’s not much, but clearly enough for Shadis to make a gamble. It seems like this one’s highly classified– a job for just us Intelligence, because we’ll be attempting to set up base outside the Walls.”

That certainly interested Erwin. It was no secret that Commander Shadis’ lobby for continued (much less increased) funding for the Scouting Legion is an ongoing uphill battle. The House of Lords is simply too uninterested in patronizing a losing war, when there are people without food, homes, and healthcare to prioritize…or so they say.

And so this sudden decision to undertake such an ambitious mission when the Legion can’t even seem to return with less than a fifty-percent mortality rate, and with barely enough funding to boot, would only mean one thing;

“There have been developments to the situation. Shadis is no gambling man, he wouldn’t risk his best and brightest on a whim,” says Erwin, his eyes so wide and so clear, they almost had a sparkle to them.

Derek had a similar expression on his face, but paired with an impish grin. “Exactly. And Ilse Langar and I have been ordered by the horse’s mouth to ‘record any suspected anomalies within titan territory.’ ”

Erwin’s jaw nearly dropped. “You’re looking for something.”

“But we don’t know what that is,” Derek replied.

Erwin, ever the curious one, took a step closer to his brother, almost like a child begging his parents for the surprise. “But you’ve got an idea, don’t you?”

Derek’s cheeky grin flashed back on, “…Maybe.”

Erwin rolled his eyes. He then hastily gestures for his brother to take a seat, as he took one himself, all too eager to hear the conspiracy.

“Beginning of last year, I have a source from the Garrison tell me rumors of dear old Shadis finding a man wandering from outside the Walls,” Derek began. “Apparently, he seemed like he knew nothing of our society. Like he was a foreigner. I reported this to Shadis during a meeting, and guess what? The man was almost uninterested. Far too eager to shrug the rumors off as bullshit. And now a year later, he’s kick starting a highly-sensitive mission to set up research bases outside the Walls?”

Derek leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed. “You won’t get any smoke without a fire. These rumors came from somewhere. That possibility alone is worth investigating. And if it were true?” The scout tightened his hold on his arms, his biceps flexing. “It would be an astonishing turn of events.”

Erwin had his hands cupping his jaw. A thumb caressing his chin in deep thought, as his eyebrows furrowed together. His clear blue eyes were bright and sharply focused on a random point in the room, as the many kegs in his mind started turning.

A man wondering from outside the Walls. Clueless of their societal structure.

“You think the commander is hiding something?”

Derek breathed out, releasing his arms. “I think the commander knows something. Shadis’ heart is true; he wouldn’t keep information like this from his officers if it meant serving humanity’s best interests.”

And to that end, Erwin agreed. He would do the same if only to get to the truth. Surely, a man lying to pursue his true intentions is not unheard of. In fact, the Smith brothers are doing just that—committing treason for the purpose of realizing their father’s dream. Almost as if he was reading his brother’s mind, Derek clear his throat and declares, “We’ll know the truth soon enough. I’ll make sure of it. I’m leaving in two weeks, and I’ll be on the lookout for any leads while I’m stationed at base. I’ll rendezvous with you once I’m back.”

At that, Erwin turns to Derek immediately. “How long are you staying there?”

Derek pursed his lips. “Indefinitely.”

A pregnant pause overcame the brothers. Indefinitely, or until the base gets overrun by Titans.

And as if Derek was reading his brother’s mind, he shrugged, “Occupational hazard.”

The younger brother nodded in understanding. Erwin knew. “What am I going to tell mom?”

Erwin did not dare let any emotion pass over his face as he watched his older brother’s shoulders droop just that little bit. While Erwin may be their mother’s favorite, but Derek was the more emotional of the two—much like his father. Derek Smith, brilliant as his mind may be, still operated with his heart in consideration. And choosing to potentially let their mother grieve over a son was a truly heavy burden to bear. More so with the memories of their mother weeping inconsolably for days after she lost the love of her life, playing at the back of his head.

Erwin was probably too young for their mother’s grief to have an impression on him; especially since their mother particularly protected Erwin from ever seeing her in hysterics because of the guilt poor little Erwin was nursing. But Derek? Derek witnessed his mother at the lowest point of her life—sobbing alone in her marriage bed, her dead husband’s coat wrapped around her, her nose buried in their father’s pillow.

And their mother—like Erwin—was not a woman who would easily let herself go to emotions. So seeing her in that state was its own kind of trauma for Derek

Derek stood up, already getting misty eyed at the memories whirring in his head. He starts fussing over organizing and straightening all the books, journals, and papers scattered across the table. “The usual, Erwin. ‘Derek is off at another mission. He’ll visit as soon as he can.’ ” His voice was pert.

“And Adeline?”

Derek stopped. He faced Erwin, his mouth a thin line. His cobalt eyes serious and intense.

“Make sure Adeline gets my Wings.” The Scout’s finger absent-mindedly caressed the proud Wing of Freedom at his chest. “That’s all a man like me can give her.”

Wings are all a man like me can ever give an angel like her, Derek muses in his thoughts.

While Erwin doesn’t completely approve of Derek’s attachment to Adeline, without hesitation, he clamped his brother’s shoulder in a tight grip. As if saying, ‘You have my word, brother.’

Derek breathed out a small sigh of relief, also giving a firm pat at Erwin’s hand on his shoulder. Derek turned back to the books and papers he was aligning and tidying up earlier, telling Erwin about how he probably won’t be around for their father’s death anniversary because of his rigorous training in the upcoming weeks for the mission.

“…Although I’ll make sure to visit mom at Wall Rose before I leave, don’t worry—“

An envelope slips out of one of the journals Derek was straightening. Immediately, Erwin reaches out, almost lunging at Derek, “Don’t touch that–!”

But it was too late.

Derek had already pulled the letter out of reach. Already opened the still unsealed flap, and flicked open what is obviously a love letter. Derek wordlessly held a hand out, effectively keeping Erwin a distance away. Derek’s body was turned away from Erwin, as he read what his little brother wrote:

My Darling Marie,

How do you do it?

I would like to think that I am a strong man. I’m a soldier trained in combat. And Sina knows, I can kick a grown man to his knees. Perhaps even slay a whole Titan.

But you, my lovely, you weaken me so.

You soften my heart so much that, while most men my age dream of glory and fortune, I only dream of a dance with you.

To hold your delicate hand and kiss it, to hold you close to my chest so I could gaze into your eyes; eyes so bright, they put the very stars to shame!

So? How do you do it, sweet Marie?

What power do you wield over me that I can’t—nor want—to shake off?

Forever Yours,

Nile

Erwin watched in horror as his older brother’s face went from curious, to intrigued, to absolutely gleeful.

Slowly and comically, Derek lifted his head to look at is brother; A funny look on his face.

Erwin prayed to the Goddesses he wasn’t blushing.

Oh, but Erwin was blushing.

“Who’s Marie?”

Erwin snatches the letter away, not looking Derek in the eye.

“No one.”

“No one?”

Derek was still grinning cheekily though, as if he just learned a most salacious secret. Erwin sighed. “Nile’s courting her.”

Derek’s not buying it. “Yeah? Then why’s his love letters for her with you?”

“Because.” Erwin snapped, already itching to change the subject. “The bastard promised me Ragako in exchange for wooing her with love letters for him.”

Derek quirked a thick eyebrow, clearly seeing through his younger brother’s bullshit. Sometimes Derek forgets that Erwin was still a young man– still clammy over the thought of falling in love with a woman; over wanting a woman for more than what she can offer with her clothes off.

“No man is going to waste his time writing the kinds of words you wrote for a woman he isn’t interested in.”

Erwin had heard enough. He slips Marie’s letter back into one of his father’s leather-bound journals, and quipped back, “Just like how you entertain that woman’s affections as if you can’t die in the next week? As if she isn’t promised to another man? It’s selfish, Derek.”

And although it was never said, Erwin’s frigidity and the muscle jumping from his tightened jaw told Derek exactly what the younger Smith thought—the whole affair would compromise their goal. Their father’s goal.

Derek must remain focused, or else…

And the very thought of any man, even his own brother, gatekeeping his rarest of earthly joys away, infuriated Derek.

How dare he?

How dare anyone?

Not very many people towered over Erwin Smith, but Derek Smith was one of them. And at that very moment, the Scout is perfectly fine with reminding his foolish brother of the fact.

“I’m not about to deprive myself of love and happiness just because I’m a Scout, Erwin. I’m a man. Not a martyr. That woman? That woman keeps me alive. That woman keeps me fighting. Keeps me sane.”

The two men were like a pair of lions prowling each other.

Derek continued, still seething, “With that woman, I’m just Derek. Not Sergeant Smith, not even Derek Smith. Just Derek. Derek and Adeline.”

Much like a mirror image of his own passion and intensity, Erwin took a stand against the unwavering glint in his older brother’s eye. Erwin has seen that very expression on his own face. An expression which said that absolutely nothing could change his mind.

Still, Erwin gambled.

“What about hurting her? You can’t give this poor woman any assurance nor security, Derek! Or is that an occupational hazard too?”

“That’s life.”

Derek had just swung up on his steed, ready to gallop out of the Training Corps compound, and back to report in Scouting Legion HQ. Meanwhile, Erwin wordlessly pulled and tugged on Derek’s straps to ensure his brother’s saddle was secure.

It was then that Adeline rushed out from the servants’ steps and into the stables to give her lover a jug of water, as well as the bread and cheese she packed. The two men have been holed up in the Archives Office the entire afternoon, as evidenced by the orange streaks of the already setting sun. The trip back wasn’t very long, but it was just Adeline’s nature to ensure that Derek had more than enough food to fuel him along the way. ‘Besides,’ Adeline thinks, ‘A man that large must need as much food as he can.’

Next to Derek’s great steed, Adeline looked terribly miniscule. Like the afternoon winds could blow her away any moment. Still, after accepting her packed knapsack, Derek reached a large hand down to cup his beloved’s cheek, the purple of her eyes especially accentuated by the fading sun.

‘She really is a sight to behold,’ Derek thinks. He was quiet for a moment, just letting his thumb caress her soft cheek. Drinking her all in, memorizing every detail, as if he would never see her beauty again.

“Take care of yourself, mignonette,” Derek says tenderly.

Adeline smiled in amusement. “Says you.” She kisses the inside of Derek’s palm, and beams up at him, “Come back to me, my love.”

Derek winked. “Always.”

Derek straightened up and pulled on his horse’s reins to settle the beast, then looked down to his brother’s still morose face. He motions to the letter hidden in the journals held by Erwin, and says in goodbye,

“Allow yourself to be happy, brother.”

Then off Derek Smith rode. Dust, dirt, and gravel trailing his horse’s hooves.

The Wings of Freedom fluttering proudly against his back.

Erwin and Adeline took a moment to stand by and watch the Scout ride away.

That is, when Adeline’s soft voice broke the silence, “Love doesn’t make him any less of a soldier, Erwin.”

Erwin looked to the small blonde with the delicate curls beside him.

Adeline looked back, purple eyes firm and genuine. “Nor does it make him any less of a son.”

She paused. Doe-like eyes fluttering down for a moment.

“And it’s the same for you.”

It was then that Adeline was struck by how much Erwin resembled her lover. They had the same fire within the depths of their blue eyes. The same brilliant mind beneath their heads of blonde hair. The same imposing build and stature…

The same pride and dignity in their stance.

And yet, the two were so much more different.

Derek was full of tenderness, warmth and joie de vivre, while Erwin… seemed very far away. Like he could never look around him. Just straight ahead. Eyes fixed to the horizon.

But it was that fixation, Adeline knew, which would keep this man alive.

“I’m ending my engagement. I’m choosing your brother, Erwin.” The petite blonde swallowed back a lump in her throat. “No father, nor nobleman can change the course of true love, and—“

Adeline bit her lip. “He’s just so reckless!” she grits out in frustration.

“So please. Convince him to stay, Erwin. Here. With me.” The girl blinked back tears, as she gazed back to the minimizing form of her beloved. “I want to keep him alive. Keep him fighting.”

Keep him alive. Keep him fighting

‘That woman keeps me alive. That woman keeps me fighting.’

It was almost cute to Erwin how the two lovers just repeated each other’s thoughts and words, albeit unknowingly. And so Erwin thought it only fair to repeat to this girl– this woman– who would clearly give up anything for his brother, Derek’s very sentiments.

Erwin reached an arm to wrap around Adeline’s shoulder, and patted her saying, “You’re already keeping him alive and fighting, Adeline”

Eyes still gazing out, the glint of the setting afternoon sun against Derek’s fair head was the last of what Adeline glimpsed of her bold lover.

Business was thriving at the Territory that Friday night. Its usual evening assortment of clientele filling up the place with the stench of booze and cigarettes, with guffaws of laughter. All the more made merry by fiddlers the establishment hired to strike up a jig for the patrons. And so besides the usual hullaballoo of the place, drunk men were also prancing around now.

Marie meanwhile, was left breathless. The barmaid grinned merrily as Nile pulled her back up to his chest from their dip. Nile seemed to have the full intention of monopolizing Marie tonight, seeing as they have been dancing and jigging around the bar’s makeshift dancefloor—a cleared floor space, really—since Marie clocked out for her break. Nile promptly bought her a drink, and asked her (albeit drunkenly, seeing as he wouldn’t be able to do so otherwise) for a dance.

Marie was caught up in a fantasy—one where she was a duchess in a glittering ballroom in Mitras, spinning around in a silk dress in the arms of a prince, dancing like they were made of starlight. Like this dingy little bar in the middle of Wall Maria was holy ground.

Although, Marie would never dare admit just who exactly she envisioned to be her prince. Marie rolled her eyes at the thought, ‘she really should just enjoy the dance, and this funny man tossing her around.’

“I’m afraid my dance card’s full, soldier,” Marie teased flirtatiously. Her cheeks were already glowing red, eyes twinkling in mirth from the exertion.

Nile didn’t dare take his hands off Marie’s waist, and most certainly never let his eyes glance away from the ginger’s lovely visage. He grinned delightfully, and pulled the girl even closer, “That so? I reckon you can still squeeze me in for the last twenty minutes of your break, yeah?”

Nile was absolutely over the moon. When Marie started laughing– a tad bit tipsy herself—Nile didn’t even let her finish replying, he heard the lilt of a new dance starting, and immediately twirled the smiling girl towards him. Marie gave a high girlish squeal, and let the soldier sweep her away.

Perched by the bar, sat a man whose broad shoulders hunched beneath the influence of whiskey in his system. He took a drag of his cigarette, almost grunting out the smoke, as his blue eyes followed his best friend and the barmaid twirling around the dancefloor. Erwin’s thick eyebrows drew together, grimacing, ‘the bastard actually got her to dance.’

It was certainly rare, but tonight, Erwin is apprehensive. The letter seemed to burn a hole right through his jacket pocket, reminding Erwin of his brother’s final words to him.

Allow yourself to be happy, brother.

So Erwin continued to watch. Knowing full well that this newfound interest Marie had on Nile was thanks to his letters.

His words.

Also knowing full well that he could continue to write this lovely, shining girl in proxy for his friend or…

He could stop. He could stop, and perhaps… this lovely, shining girl could…

Allow yourself to be happy, brother.

Nile gave Marie another dramatic dip, one that had the ginger girl giggling. Nile almost looked silly with glee, as he brought the girl up. And in a moment of what must be drunken ecstasy, Nile kissed Marie’s hand.

Erwin threw back what was left of his whiskey at the sight.

‘Fuck it.’

Erwin took one last inhale before putting out his smoke at a nearby ashtray where Marie was already busy wiping down.

Marie felt the blonde man’s presence before she saw him. Could smell the sandalwood before Erwin leaned over into her space. Marie rolled her hazel eyes, although a tiny smile danced around her lips.

Marie refused to look back at this annoying man trying to distract her from work.

“Yeees?”

Erwin playfully presented Marie the letter in between his index and middle fingers, his blue eyes actively looking directly into Marie’s, trying to catch her full attention. Purposefully crowding her, wanting to drown her in all that is him.

“You seemed like you enjoyed your dance.”

Marie finally faced Erwin, a hand moving to rest at her slender waist. She tilted her chin up, trying her best to look as imposing as she can before this tree of man. But not before she registers—definitely not for the first time—just how infuriatingly handsome Erwin Smith is.

“Why? Did you want to join in?”

Marie felt her heart do a little leap and jig at the sight of Erwin’s perfectly cut face falling just that little bit.

Erwin snorted, “With Nile? No thank you, he’s all yours.”

Marie made a show of delicately plucking the letter from between Erwin’s fingertips. She pursed her lips as she read the scrawl at the back of the envelope: For my Marie.

She peeked back up at Erwin. “Hmmm. Seems to me you’re just trying to hide your two left feet.”

“Excuse me?” Erwin cocked an eyebrow, already smiling openly. Marie notes how straight his teeth are.

“I’m an excellent dancer, thank you very much.”

Marie abandons her washcloth, and went up on her tiptoes, getting into Erwin’s face. Something sly and mischievous played around her features.

Erwin could pick up on the alcohol in her breath when she whispered;

“Prove it.”

Glass bottles jingled in their shelves.

The man had brought his large hands down to rest at the liquor shelf behind Marie; effectively caging the girl in his arms.

Marie felt like a rabbit before a wolf. Cornered. Helpless. Frozen.

Felt her heart beating a rapid cadence. Felt her eyes darting between Erwin’s thin, chapped lips, to his hooded blue eyes—darker and deeper beneath the lowlight.

But above all, Marie felt herself wondering if this breathtaking creature would taste like whiskey and cigarettes—like a brooding phantom she could only ever glimpse in dark nights amongst candlelight.

Or perhaps he’d still taste like strawberries? Like sweetness and zest and freedom and hope.

Erwin gently tucked a ginger curl behind Marie’s ear. He caressed her freckled cheek.

Marie was already dizzy from the smell of nicotine off his fingers… or was it something else that was making her dizzy?

Rough pads of fingers pressed against the plumpness of Marie’s lips.

“Then…”

The woman took a deep inhale.

“…Can I have this dance.”

It wasn’t a question. Not when he sounded like that. Like, sin.

In a panic, Marie squeezed her eyes shut; “You’re drunk.”

Erwin blinked. And like a magic spell broken, Erwin releases his hold on the liquor shelf.

Marie’s eyes shot open, as she looked up at a chuckling Erwin. He was already smoothing back the few strands of golden hair that fell onto his eyes.

“I guess I am.”

‘Huh.’ Marie thinks, ‘This odd, odd man. He’s got a knack for immediately switching emotions, alright.’

Erwin must have noticed Marie’s strange look, and jabbed light-heartedly, “You better start working again before Nile notices you ‘aren’t busy’ anymore.”

Nile! Oh god, Marie almost forgot about him! He could’ve seen… whatever that was between her and Erwin.

Marie hastily went back to her washcloth, and started wiping down more glasses. She looked around for any sign of Nile, and found him still drunkenly gloating to Mike about his romp with her.

Although from the looks of it, the man is about a tankard away from completely passing out.

Erwin was already casually lighting another cigarette when,

“Are you a pigeon, Erwin?”

Erwin nearly fucking burned himself from his lighter. He spluttered at the bizarre question.

“Err…no?”

“Then why do you have to keep passing Nile’s letters to me? He’s right there!”

The two looked on to watch Nile finally succumb to sleep. Mike awkwardly patted his already passed-out friend.

Erwin snickered, “I’m afraid that’s why my oaf of a friend calls me his ‘wingman’.”

“Ha!” Marie chuckled out.

Marie read her letter immediately after the last of the bar patrons left—which happened to be Erwin. He insisted on keeping her company to ‘keep the wolves away.’ As if he hadn’t just tried cornering her a half hour ago. It was nice though, the conversation was lovely while she was closing up.

And so, when she lay awake in her bed that night, smiling to herself, fingertips on her lips. She wasn’t thinking of Nile when the words of the letter echoed in her head.

A/N:I know. Derek’s an absolute d r e a m b o a t, and I love him too.

Mignonette,’ from my understanding is “delicate” or “darling” in French. I heard that was Prince William’s pet name for Princess Charlotte, and I thought it was adorable.

On Erwin’s family, a discord friend of mine actually gave me the idea that Erwin possibly got his leadership skills and his you-think-this-is-your-idea-but-it-was-all-part-of-erwin’s-fail-safe-plan charm, from his mother. Besides, who doesn’t love a powerful working mom? And the rest went from there! It also made sense to me that a man as curious and as daring as Erwin’s dad would also be a child at heart.

As usual, any questions and feedback are very much welcome!

I also have an AO3!

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felixthekoala · 6 years

Video

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(Please don’t watch the video expecting something stray kids, read the first paragraph first. Lol tumblr won’t let me put the video at the bottom so this is how I have to do it XD)

Anyway...

I HIT 300 AND THEN 400!!

I was going to post something for 300 followers, and many people wanted a cover of a song, but stuff happened and then all of a sudden I hit 400 so I’m posting the cover now. I originally wanted to do a cover of Hellevator but I didn’t like how it sounded and I was worried I’d be judged on my pronunciation lol, so this is a (rough) cover of I hate u I love u with some photos from the teaser for the sk debut bc why not?? Please you really REALLY don’t have to watch the video XD I did this for my babes in the skiznet gc who wanted me to lol.

and yes, that’s my cat in the background. Bolt says hi, tumblr

Okay onto the fun stuff...

I just have to say, I love all of you so much, you all have been so amazing and so supportive and I’d just like to mention a few people I really cherish. I’m so so sorry if I left anyone out, I’m trying to do this off the top of my head XD

@hey-hey-chan KRIS!!!! Sorry, *Chan XD You are so amazing and sweet and supportive and I can’t believe we live so close I can’t wait to meet you (you can still watch me perform this weekend pls come I wanna meet youuuu <333) Your writing and content is top notch and I love how you have such a strong backbone and don’t let people push you around, I wish I were more like that. I really enjoy talking and opening up to you, you’re such a good listener and you helped me a lot. Keep doing you and know I love you so much!! <3

@maaatryoshka Erinnnn!!!! <3 I still remember when I was in a kkt gc with you and had no idea I was talking to THE maaatryoshka lol I was quite clueless back then XD. You’re so beautiful and talented and I can’t believe someone as beautiful and talented as you would call me beautiful and talented??? Like what?????? I live for your mashups and all those photos of you, post more so I can make more moodboards of Ersung!!! <3

@versekiller J!!!! My smol child (JK), you liven up the gc and are such a lovely person. I love talking to you and plotting our evil fics huehueheuheue (the comic au is gon be LIT) you’re so beautiful inside and out and I hope you never change and keep being the spunky secretly evil child bc I love her. (Also tell brian to screw a tree... Asian jake paul my ass -_-)

@strgaykids Erin 2!!! XD I think you were one of my first tumblr crushes??? Like I saw your posts all the time and I was so intimidated by you I could only talk to you on anon XD until that one time when you mentioned your age and I was so thrilled to find another 16 year old Felix stan and you said I had to reveal myself to make a kkt gc for all of us 16 year old Felix stans lol that scared me so much but I did it and even though that gc fizzled I was so thrilled to see you on the skiznet gc! Now I get to talk to THE strgaykids and witness her awesome jokes and fangirling over idol producer XD You’re such a fun person and I’m so happy to know you and be mutual (and have a sc streak with THE strgay kids nacjaknjcsdk) <3

@straycuties Astrella!!!! I died when I discovered my own fanclub like how did I get so lucky to have friends like you who boost me up??? Your posts on there (and comments in the gc) really bring a smile to my face and they have really helped me with my confidence (still needs a ton of work tho lol don’t think I’m an overly confident person now or anything XD). Your content is so beautiful and you’re such a beautiful person ilysm <3

@welcometochanskitchen COURTNEYYYY!!!! My love, my cutie, my (not so) secret valentine <3 I loved talking to you as my sv and getting to know you and flipping out about all of our favs together you are such a sweet and amazing person how can anyone not love you??? Your “sk as” posts gave me life and I love anything you do bc you’re just so amazing at what you do <3 Also, yet another lovely person who boosts me up when I’m down, I honestly can’t believe how lucky I am to have such amazing friends who think so highly of me, idk what y’all see in me XD but I ain’t complaining ily <3

@realstraykids Em!!!! You were one of my first few friends on here I think, and I love freaking out about sf9 and sk with you <3 Your gifs are the most amazing things I’ve ever seen, I wish I were as good as you at that stuff XD. (Although I’m still very salty about that Rowoon gif you sent to me that killed me when I first woke up that morning -_-) You’re so beautiful and talented and honestly I’m just so happy to have a friend like you (and that snapchat streak eyyyyy XD) Seriously I’m tearing up as I’m writing all of these, I just love you so much <3

@stray4419 Chi!!! You are such an amazing writer, I constantly check your masterlist for updates lol. I still can’t believe you loved that idea i got off the top of my head for that jeongin angst, i was just spitballing ideas and you loved it??? THE stray4419 loved my writing ideas???? Needless to say i was shook XD. Even though you’re no longer as active on the gc I hope you know we all love you sm (me especially XD) luv ya lots! <3

@minhomygod Rach!!! Okay tbh I was a little worried about how the newcomers to the chat would fare, I hoped they wouldn’t feel scared to speak up or anything because of how close we all were or anything? And then you came in and stole my heart wtf girl you are so sweet and amazing and you compliment me sm I honestly just run to the gc when you’re on just to talk to such a sweet and lovely person who for some reason likes me and thinks I’m pretty???? You’re just so amazing and I love you sm <3

@meatmeinthemiddle-mark Jan!!! Yet another girl I love who loves me for some strange reason XD You’re so loveable and adorable (heLLO have you seen ur pfp on kkt???) I love how hyped you get about my stuff bc it feels amazing to have other people excited about things I do that I’m excited about. Speaking of, that comic au is going to be so much fun and I loved telling you all about it (sorry no major spoilers on THAT part tho lol I want you to be surprised lol). Keep being your amazing self! <3

Ooookey that was a TON of typing, so I’m now going to give some other AMAZING LOVELY TALENTED LOVABLE PHENOMENAL blogs I love:

@stk0t9 @aussieline @ask-straykiddos @softlix @awoojinstan @wholesomebin @softstraykids @hyyunjinn @jeongin @straykiddosmom @busanjeongin @hyuunjins @sprb-exe @theboywithfreckles @straykayayaya @crumblykookie @fluffykth @changbeanie

There are so many more but I’m scared to tag you XD

and of course, I love you Stray Kids, for filling my life with something amazing and exciting, I’ve been with you since the start (October 6th), and I plan to stick with you until the very end, I love you all so much you talented loveable dorks <3

(even though they’ll never see this, I just wanted to say it somewhere)

okay I think I’m finally done, I’m going to go get some ice for my fingers, I think I pulled a ligament XD

#follow forever #dont watch the video

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