#anyway the thoughts are rotating in my head and now the tags r a mess sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[aluria-sevhex]

help a few days ago i drew a mom and i think i accidentally made her a milf

[readyourimgaines]

Chapter Five: All is Fair in Love and War

I didn’t mean for this chapter to take so long. I’ve been having some trouble with depression and didn’t want to mess up the plot so this is just sort of a filler chapter. I hope those of you still following this story enjoy it nonetheless. Mess me if you want to be added to the tag list. Constant thank you to @thatbarricade for everything you do and helping me through this last week! -Freddie 

“How can something be brighter than the sun?” Enjolras squinted as he walked into Walmart behind Grantaire, Joly, and Bossuet. He had been against the idea but Grantaire has told him it could be a ‘learning experience'. Never having been in a Walmart before, he decided now was as good a time as any to see if it looked anything like the pictures online. He was disgusted, and not surprised, to find that they were.

“It’s not that bad, Enj.” R threw his arm around Enjolras’s shoulder. “You get used to the LEDs burning your retinas.”

“We need water balloons and squirt guns,” Bossuet reminded, walking past them to pull out a cart. “See? It shouldn’t take too long; you don’t even need to adjust to the lighting.”

“I’m not spending money here,” Enjolras said off the bat. “This place is horrible-”

“I know, Apollo, I know. You don’t need to spend any, so don’t worry.”

Joly carried an empty basket on the crook of his elbow as they walked. “I might get some food for the apartment while we’re here, though.”

“Please tell me you rinse everything you buy,” Enjolras commented, his nose scrunching as he walked past a particularly pity-inducing display.

“Oh, he does,” Bossuet jumped in again. “Our room is spotless because he rotates the bed depending on the phases of the moon.”

Enjolras couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not and decided not to question it, should he insult the curly-haired man.

“We can split up and make things go faster,” Grantaire suggested suddenly. “You two— go get the food you need. Enj an’ I’ll get the water balloons and squirt guns. We can meet at the car and drop the food at your apartment before going to Courferras’ house?”

“Sounds good. We shouldn’t be too long anyway.” Joly took Bossuet’s hand and the four split ways.

“Courferras?” Enjolras repeated, puzzled.

“Well, we used to call them Courferre, collectively, because they’re always together. You live with them now so tack on a ‘ras’ and you’ve got all three,” Grantaire explained.

Enjolras’s phone dinged with a text and he slid it from his pocket. Once he saw who sent it he flinched with a scowl as though it burned him. Quickly, he shoved it back into his jeans without even a glance at the message.

“Everything okay?” Grantaire asked, his brow furrowed.

“Got a text from my mother. I wasn’t expecting it and I don’t care what it says.” Enjolras corrected his near-perfect posture.

“Not worthing skimming it?”

“Not if I wasn’t worth her standing up to my father.” Enjolras shook his head with a pleading look in his eye. “Let’s not talk about this here, please.”

*****

Grantaire and Enjolras beat Joly and Bossuet to the car only to find it locked. Grantaire stepped onto the back bumper, scrambling onto the roof of the car while Enjolras settled for laying across the hood, an arm resting over his eyes to protect them from the harsh glare of the sun.

“Apollo?”

“Yeah?”

“What are your thoughts on dating someone who’s not the same age as you?” Grantaire proposed the question as casually as he could, scooting over so he was looking down at the younger teen. The blond was unaware of the artist’s loving eyes studying his features.

“It depends, I guess. It changes now that I’m turning 18 soon. If I was already in a relationship, I wouldn’t break up with the person if they were younger than me. I’m not going to start a relationship with anyone younger than 17 or who’s just turned 17.

“As for dating someone older than me… I don’t see why not. I don’t want to date anyone who’s old enough to drink, though. That’d just be weird. 18, 19, and 20 are fine, though, I guess.”

Grantaire felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was waiting until Enjolras turned 18 before he said anything so Courf couldn’t lynch him. It was a couple more weeks. For Enjolras, he would wait longer than that if he had to.

*****

“What about you? What’s your rule on age?” Enjolras tilted his arm slightly and squinted up at R.

“I don’t have a rule, I guess. More of a guideline, really. Two years younger or older as of right now. Two younger is as low as it’s going. I’m starting college so no chance in hell am I going to date a sophomore in high school. I’d have to meet someone special to date someone older than me by more than two years, though.”

“How come?”

“There’s a certain age gap that works in a relationship. Beyond that, they’re too far apart and they’ve lost it. Like uh, my parents are ten years apart and it’s a total nightmare. I still don’t know why they got married. I have an idea, actually. I was conceived out of wedlock, so they probably tied the knot before my mom started showing and said I was born a month early.”

“My parents are eight years apart and my father terrifies my mother, so that’s too far. Ferre’s parents are five years apart and I’m pretty sure they were made to be together. That means it’s between five and seven years.”

“Six with the limit to be sure?” Grantaire smirked.

“Why not,” Enjolras chuckled.

“We good to go?” Joly called from across the parking lot as he and Bossuet walked over, carrying the groceries. Or rather, Joly skipped out holding a single box of cereal while Bossuet stumbled behind him, juggling two full bags.

“Yeah.” Enjolras slid off the hood and Grantaire found his way down off the roof, slipping into the back seat.

Bosset and Joly got in the front seats while Enjolras sat next to Grantaire. Their hands rested on the centre console, touching, and neither of them moved.

*****

“How was Walmart?” Combeferre asked as the group marched into the house. He was sitting on the couch, Courfeyrac wrapped around him in a way that reminded Enjolras of a koala; he suppressed a smile at the thought.

“The lights are brighter than the sun, and most of the people there had the same hygiene level as a sloth,” Enjolras summed up.

“He had a fun time.” Grantaire translated, slinging his arm around the blond’s shoulder. “We got the balloons and some squirt guns; Joly and Bossuet restocked their food stores. Are the others coming?” He looked around the room for confirmation.

“Uh...yeah. Feuilly is bringing Gav, too.” Courf grinned. “Eponine’s waiting to hear back from her boss to see if she can close early; apparently it was pretty empty today.”

“So for a headcount that’s me, Courf, Enj, R, Joly, Bossuet, Feuilly, Gav, and Jehan.”

“Is Jehan here?” Enjolras asked.

“They went into the bathroom just before you opened the door.” Courf repositioned. “Why is it so hot?” He moaned dramatically. “I just wanna cuddle.”

“We can cuddle tonight with the ceiling fan going. Promise.” Ferre kissed his pouting boyfriend.

Grantaire glanced at Enj, who hadn’t moved away from him since he’d slung his arm over his shoulder. The blond seemed absorbed in listening to his friends’ conversation.

“Should I message Cosette?” Jehan asked as they joined the group.

“Is Pontmercy still stalking her?” Enjolras drawled with a scowl.

“Maybe. I’m not totally sure. He’s made progress. She thinks he’s sweet.” Jehan shook their head. “You know I’m romantic, but nothing says love like stalking.”

“That’s how John Lennon and Yoko Ono fell in love,” Grantaire laughed.

“And look what she did to The Beatles,” Enjolras scoffed. “I don’t like Marius. I haven’t talked to him much. He just creeps me out. If you have a crush, you talk to the person.”

“Do you, Enjy?” Jehan teased.

“I never said I had a crush on anyone,” he denied, taking a step away from Grantaire. Ferre and Courf smirked at each other when they caught the confused look R was trying and failing, to mask.

“You can text and invite her,” Ferre redirected the conversation. “She can bring this Marius guy for all I care. I just wanna play with water.”

It was through Jehan that they found out Marius and Cosette were being dropped off by Cosette’s father. Cosette had told Jehan they would be a while because God knows it would be a hell of a time trying to convince her father to let her go a house full of high school and college boys. Apparently, telling him the only straight one there was Marius and that Jehan and Enjolras were there was what finally convinced him.

Ferre was courteous and polite in introducing himself, his boyfriend, and his friends before inviting Mr. Valjan in for an iced drink. Mr. Valjean kindly declined and gave Ferre his number should they need him. Cosette, Marius, Jehan, and Enjolras all had his number as well. Jean Valjean was a secretive man but he would give someone his social security number if it meant someone could tell him Cosette needed him.

*****

While filling water balloons, Enjolras found that his hair kept falling in his eyes. Having gotten tired of constantly brushing the strands aside, he took a hair tie from his wrist and secured his hair into a bun at the back of his head. Pleased that his hair was now out of the way, he resumed filling water balloons.

“Enj, done with your fourth of the balloons-?” Grantaire’s words faltered as he noticed the shirtless blond donning swim trunks. The younger turned around and R swore his heart stopped for a second.

“What’s up, R?”

“H-How are-” he shook his head. “How are your balloons coming? The water guns are set.

“I’ve got maybe...five more? I won’t be long. You’re working faster than Bossuet. He kept popping his, so Feuilly took over the fifteen or so that were left.”

“How many were popped?” Enjolras laughed.

“Not sure. I just cleaned ‘em outta the sink.” He pointed in the direction of the kitchen with his thumb.

“You two done flirting out there?” Jehan called. “Come on!”

“Guess the other balloons are all set after all,” R chuckled as Enjolras tied off the last one.

“Then let’s go.” He moved to pick up the repurposed laundry basket but Grantire beat him to it. The two joined their friends outside; The others had also changed into swimsuits, with the exception of Jehan, who was wearing a t-shirt with their swim trunks.

“Oh!” Courf grinned and scooped a young boy, about 10 or 11, into his arms, walking over to Enjolras. “This is Gavroche. Gav, this is our friend, Enjolras.”

“Hi.” Enjolras held his hand out, but the boy gave the blond a blank stare.

“Can we play now?” Gavroche rotated himself in Courfeyrac’s arms so he was facing the curly-haired man.

“Absolutely.” Courf took a moment to reposition Gav so the messy-haired boy was sitting on his shoulders.

“Did I do something to upset him?” Enjolras gave R a confused look.

“Nah. Gav’s just a weird little kid. He takes a bit to warm up to people,” R explained.

“What do we do when we run out of balloons?” Feuilly suddenly asked.

“Uh…” Ferre thought for a couple of moments. “Clean up and split into cars and head to the beach. Thoughts?”

“I’m in.” R grinned.

“Same here.” Enj nodded.

The rest of the group gave similar enthusiastic answers.

“Shouldn’t you text your dad, Cosette?” Marius looked to the blonde when she said she wanted to go, too.

“It’ll be fine; he likes Ferre and Enj. I’ll just say I went in their car.”

“Alright. So I’ve got Ferre, Enj, Courf, and Cosette in my truck,” Grantaire listed off. “That’s all I can bring.”

“Then I’ve got Pontmercy, Jehan, Feuilly, and Bossuet with me,” Joly spoke up.

“Gav can ride on my lap,” Courf suggested.

“I’ve done more illegal things than that in my truck,” Grantaire approved, nodding without further explanation.

*****

When the balloon fight started, it didn’t last more than a couple minutes. 10 people all chucking balloons at each other quickly depleted half the stash. It didn’t help that the other half was popped by Bossuet. The unfortunate young man was carrying the other laundry basket and somehow slipped on a wet patch of grass. The slip resulted in him sitting on the ground, soaked, with the laundry basket on his head.

Any other group would’ve been annoyed, but everyone was too busy laughing, Joly asking if Bossuet was alright and checking all over for injuries. Everyone piled into the car and truck and headed off.

“Why does Enjolras get to sit in the front?” Gav asked as Courf wrapped his arms around the boy to hold him in place better.

“So Ferre and Courf can sit by each other,” Cosette answered.

“It’s really because R has a crush on Enj,” Courf whispered. Enjolras and Grantaire didn’t hear them whispering over the radio. Cosette giggled.

“Really? That’s gross,” Gav said at a normal volume.

“Why is it gross for two boyfriends to sit next to each other?” R asked, glancing at the four in the rearview mirror.

Cosette giggled harder, while Combeferre failed miserably to conceal a chuckle.

When the group got to the beach, everyone piled out of the vehicles and made straight for the water. Most of them walked except Bossuet, who ran and slipped, which resulted in a belly flop into the water. Courf tossed Gav in, the boy quickly resurfacing before bursting into laughter.

“Joly, you aren’t going to get cancer from swimming,” Ferre called, his sandy hair dripping on his shoulders and face. Ferre was one of the first to dunk and swim around a little.

The group of ten broke into smaller groups and it didn’t take long for a splashing war to start up. At first, it had been Gav, Feuilly, Bossuet, Joly, and Marius against Courf, Ferre, Enjolras, Grantaire, and Cosette, although Cosette ended up joining the other team.

After a while of splashing around Gavroche ended up tiring quickly; R dutifully took him to shore to get him wrapped up in a towel and dried off. While R was gone, Ferre and Courf had changed sides as well.

“Surrender, Enjolras!” Bossuet ordered.

“Never! Long live freedom!” He was grinning, his back to the horizon.

After making sure Gavroche was comfortable on the shore, R waded back into the water, squeezing his way through his friends to get to Enjolras.

“There you are!” Enjolras’ smile widened, “Two for the shot of one.” R stood next to Enjolras, turning to face their formidable opponents. “Do you permit it?”

“Get on with it!” Courf bellowed, grinning from ear to ear.

Enjolras grabbed Grantaire’s hand as their friends finally let loose with a wild frenzy of splashing. Enjolras had slipped during the attack, Grantaire grabbing onto his arm in an attempt to stop him from falling, but ended up going under himself. When the two resurfaced, their friends cheered at their ‘victory'. Enjolras laughed brightly next to him, his features practically glowing in the setting sun. Grantaire sighed happily, thinking to himself that everyone should be able to feel this right at least once in their life. He felt a warm breeze blow through his hair, felt the sun’s last rays warm his face, and he watched his friends with a content smile, still holding on tightly to the hand he never wanted to let go.

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