#anyway that interaction delighted me and I remember it like 5 years later

[periru3]

I, like Walmart, do not know your name, but years ago I went in to buy some fabric to sew the gloves for the Floor Show costumes in the Rocky Horror shadow cast I was working on at my school and I was like DAMN you know your stuff and you were like "I was Brad back in the day" so whistfully

[wisteriagoesvroom]

for the 5 sentence fic game - malex (Max/Alex), forgiveness? if it's not too out of ur depth :3

ok this was such a good prompt that i bust past 5 sentences and just kept going. so…here we go:

————

Forgiveness

a max/alex drabble, rated g

When Max meets Alex again, it’s a crisp autumn day — the kind where the leaves curl in on themselves, as if holding a secret. What secret, Max doesn’t know, but he has never really been in the habit of keeping many secrets.

The park is not where he expects to see Alex. But that’s the thing about parks. They’re a central nervous system for cities. City planners used to design with this in mind, before cars took over. Max remembers this fact from an encyclopaedia that he used to read, under blanket with a torchlight, when he still had the time to, during karting.

And now, Alex is in the park. Alex is older. Hair the same, if longer than it used to be in their F1 days. Face clean-shaven, but sharper in the cut of his jaw. Eyes, still creasing upwards when he sees a thing he likes.

As it turns out, Alex smiled a lot more when he left Red Bull. His smile practically a quantum force of its own when he finally won a GP.

And as it turns out, to his surprise, Max may be one of the things Alex also likes.

“Is that really you?” Alex exclaims, hands tucked in his pockets, wool scarf loose on his neck. Max feels somehow underdressed in his nondescript hoodie. Being a five time world champion, even over a decade later, meant people would stop you for photos.

“It’s me, mate.”

Alex makes a noise that seems like delight. They do the bro hug, and he animatedly explains that Lily is in Shanghai for a project involving augmented reality home golfing that is run through a mobile phone holoprojector. He rambles a little bit about weather — which for some reason the English still are obsessed with — and Alex asks whether Monaco has changed much (Max tells him it hasn’t).

“Are you heading up to Milton Keynes?” Alex says.

There is no loadedness behind the question. Max has only been back to Milton Keynes for Redline work since he retired.

One thing about Alex is that he was always carefully guarded when he needed to be. But Max never found him truly capable of ill intent.

“No,” Mad says. “I’m actually here because Pen has a thing about horses now. I have a break from touring stables and such.”

“Horses! Ah! There’s this great place down by Richmond, the owner’s an old classmate of mine. Let me pass it to you.”

Classic Alex. Always trying to help out, be nice, create a connection. So Max grabs his phone from his pocket, and lets Alex fuss around with it.

So the task is done, and there isn’t much to do now but move on. That is what Max has done well. Move on, in a way that he knows how, eking out a place for himself in Sim driver development and helping others learn the ropes. Much like Alex clearly has too, remaining as advisor to his last team.

Max finds himself reflecting on the younger men they were so long ago. Max was a lot more impulsive then. Quick to anger, a hunger inside him with so much to prove. But every person who did what they did always had the hunger. It just manifested in a lot of different ways.

And the interaction is nearing its end. But Max still can’t quite find a way to make his legs move. Around them, someone occasionally jogs past, and there are some ducks quacking happily at a nearby pond. It is peaceful.

Alex’s phone buzzes. He glances down at it, brows creasing in concern.

“Sorry, there’s some emergency at home involving my five year old and…” Alex squints at his phone. “A muffin tray of glitter. George is always far too lenient with his godson.”

Max smiles. “I heard about that. George, I mean. Not the glitter. I am not psychic.”

“That would explain your super-powered abilities, wouldn’t it?”

“Ha!” Max says, and he means it. “Anyway, I remember exactly how it is. That age.”

Alex smiles back knowingly.

The leaves rustle in the trees. The ducks are still quacking. The sun peeks out from behind a cloud, warming them both.

It is comfortable, in the way Alex always makes people feel, since the Williams years.

Max stops his leg from twitching.

“Listen, Alex. I never got a chance to say it before.”

“Say what?”

“That I…”

And Max finds himself pondering it. What does he mean? That he’s sorry? Sorry that a formula one team only truly ever has enough room for one person? That he should have asked how Alex was, like how he makes a point to do so now, with all his Redline youngsters? That he wishes he had called or texted him in the intervening years to see how he was, that he wishes they had stayed in touch? That he misses his old cars more than anything in the world, even if he’s happy with what he’s done and the way the puzzle pieces of his life have landed, and he always wonders if other drivers did too?

Max swallows a lump in his throat that he didn’t know was there. In the end, he says exactly what is on his mind.

“I’m really glad that you seem well.”

If that’s not the answer Alex was expecting, he doesn’t show it. He always seems borderline spiritual these days. As if he’s discovered a secret and invites you to understand it. A little bit like a monk, but one who definitely drives over the speed limit. (Max saw that video: a special karting one Alex did for family content, and he still carves a magnificent line.)

The monk in question smiles. It’s warm, like the sun. How lucky for those who grow close enough to Alex, to feel it.

And in that sage, still boyish way of his— surrounded by ducks, subjected to the inclement weather, in the artery of the place where worlds meet — Alex tells Max, back:

“I’m glad for us, too.”

————

from prompt thing here except i will actually try to stick to 5 sentences for the next one(s)

[haliyam]

interim (iv)

zeke x reader/oc

summary: You return to Liberio not long after the Warriors arrive home from their failed mission in Paradis and discover that things have changed. (Or they will, and maybe a little more with Zeke than you expect.) [Season 4 and manga spoilers ahead]

AO3 link | Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 5

Hi again! This is a week off-schedule because I needed a week to recover from the disaster that was chapter 139. Anyway, I guess I'll eventually tag the series as canon-divergent when we get to a certain point in the series.

Reminder that the Reader/OC is a cis-female Eldian character with a set background/surname, but please feel free to set the substitution for the Reader to your chosen First Name using the InteractiveFics browser extension! So on the browser extension that would be: Lucy = Your chosen First Name.

Chapter 4

The next few days go by like clockwork. Every morning you are determined to head to the university and request a general book list so that you might study ahead, just as you’ve done for the last few years, but every morning Zeke convinces you to swing by HQ and hang around his office so he can ignore you some more. 

Sometimes he leaves for a meeting while Colt joins you intermittently when he isn’t made to attend, or when he isn’t out on errands or continuing his own training under Commander Magath’s stricter regimen (“Well, he has to suffer something if not babysitting,” Zeke shrugs), and the Warrior candidates join you all for lunch once, during which they swarm Porco with questions about the Jaw but otherwise shy away from interacting too much with you and Zeke, who apparently takes his meals in his office most days. You try not to remember what it was like sitting at the lunch table with Marcel, Bertholdt, and Annie around too.

By the time you realize you should head out, the blazing midday heat has arrived, and you surrender instead to the comfortable breeze lifting in through Zeke’s window. It’s an easy decision to make with a book in hand, stretched out on his couch sipping ice water at his coffee table, though part of you does consider breaking the comfortable silence with your curiosity about his long-lost brother. 

But while you foolishly thought it would have been natural enough to do before… seeing Reiner made you realize it can’t be that easy. There is a reason Zeke pushed you away when you tried to ask, even if you stand by your retaliatory kick, and he’s always been sensitive about his family. 

Your evenings are just as languid. You check in on Mr. Finger before you return home, and after dinner you spend them with Mrs. Yeager in the living room, catching up only between the two of you. She’s delighted to hear about your nieces and nephews, not to mention the way you turned your studies around in your last two years at boarding school. Meanwhile she enraptures you with stories of her young students—she still teaches, though her schedule is much less rigid than before—until she gets a wistful look in her eye when Zeke comes by to scold her for staying up late. 

Arms around knees drawn to your chest on the sofa with her nights later, you glance over your shoulder at the doorway and raise a brow at Zeke. “It’s not even a weeknight.”

“Technically, every night is a week night.”

He shoots you a smug grin as your thoughtful pause breaks into a groan. Before you can respond, Mrs. Yeager chuckles into her hand and moves to her feet. “You’re right, dear. I should be going to bed. After I prepare some—”

“Warm water? I’ve brought it up. Grandpa’s already asleep,” says Zeke, watching his grandmother squeeze your hand in apology. You squeeze back with a smile in understanding as she passes you. 

Zeke kisses her cheek good night and, once Mrs. Yeager clears the kitchen, turns toward you. “Isn’t it about time you turned in, too?”

You stretch out over the couch’s backrest, yawning, and then turn your head to face him. “Are you going to tell me a story?”

He blinks in surprise, appearing to consider you until he notices the mirth curling at the edges of your mouth. Sighing, he reaches for the throw pillow on the seat closest to the doorway and very narrowly misses when you yelp and scoot to the side. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who just couldn’t stop talking.”

You get up and dust off the pillow before setting it back where it should be with a click of your tongue. Standing closer now, and still lamenting the growth spurt denied you, you squint up at him. Or you just liked listening to me that much, you mean to say, but the challenge on his face reminds you so well of the nights he spent humoring you as you kept him awake as a little girl missing home that you can’t help but grant him your defeat this time. 

“Actually,” you say honestly, walking past him instead, “I was going to write Lara.”

You haven’t been able to of late. You’ve been wanting to save stories for her, you tell yourself, make a letter she can really enjoy reading, or maybe you’re avoiding a response which will surely include Willy’s regards. Or his reaction when Lara tell hims of List's plan.

“Oh?” Zeke doesn’t lord the victory over you, only following you out. “How’s her health nowadays? Better, I hope.”

“Oh, er—” you begin to shake your head, only to settle for a shrug as he turns the lights off in the dining room. “Somewhat. But you know her, she’s... always been so sickly. You know.”

“Yeah. That’s too bad,” he remarks, heading up the stairs behind you. You only nod as you move down the hallway, trying to ignore how loud your own gulp sounds to you when you stop in front of your rooms. 

“Actually,” you start, turning back. He’s already facing you, expectation in the tilt of his head, but you can’t bring yourself to say it. Zeke can’t know about Lara. When he opens his mouth to ask, you blurt out, “Everyone knows a weeknight is the evening of a weekday. You just like being bossy.”

His jaw drops in surprise, and then he has to stifle a snort. “You little—”

“Good night,” you wave, and slip behind your door as he chuckles in exasperation, none the wiser.

--

Unused to sleeping in even when it’s not a weeknight, you continue writing your letter early the next morning, filling her in mostly on the Yeagers and the Fingers. Mrs. Yeager leaves at some point to spend time with her friends, and you get to making lunch with Dr. Yeager downstairs when the doorbell rings. 

“I’ll get it,” you say, throwing your apron over a chair and heading for the hallway.

You draw the curtains by the front door to peek at Colt waiting outside, fingers drumming over the straps of his backpack. He straightens up immediately once the door swings open only to flush in shock when he sees you. “Miss Lucy?” He glances around to make sure he’s come to the right place. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” you chuckle. “What are you doing here?”

“Is that you, Colt?” Dr. Yeager calls from the kitchen. “Come on in for lunch!”

“I always come over on Saturdays when it’s not too busy,” Colt answers belatedly when you step aside to let him in, now with a polite expression in lieu of surprise. You close the door behind him as he murmurs a thank you, and then rush to help Dr. Yeager set the table now that a guest has arrived. Colt is relatively cautious but always friendly, warm, not at all like Zeke when he was his age, though Colt’s remarks at the children during lunch a day or so ago certainly revealed humor similar enough to his mentor. 

The man himself eventually comes downstairs, buttoning up his shirt as he opens the door to the dining room. “Oh,” is his greeting, and he waves before heading for his own pack closer to the living room. “Sorry, Colt. You were late last week, so I took my time.”

Colt turns red with shame. “Sorry again about that, Mr. Zeke, I—”

He doesn’t understand Zeke’s teasing. Taking pity on him, you interrupt, “You make Colt work on the weekends?”

Kneeling by his bag, Zeke returns your reproving look, only with a hint of mockery. “It’s not work per se.”

“And I’m happy to come over,” Colt adds without hesitation.

You glance back at the boy questioningly. He looks earnest enough, but wasn’t Zeke the same? Weren’t you, the moment Mr. Ksaver invited you to spend time with them? “What do you two do, anyway?”

“Catch,” says Zeke, and without much more warning throws a baseball at you from the side. Barely noticing the rush of air, you turn and stretch out your hand just in time to catch it, and you don’t know whether to feel pride or offense when you and Zeke share the same incredulous expression. 

You’re ready to fling the ball at him as payback when Dr. Yeager scolds you. “No catch at the table, you two,” he says, but he looks happy.

“Sorry, grandpa,” Zeke chuckles right as you wince, “Sorry, Dr. Yeager.”

Colt watches the exchange with a shy but eager smile. “Are you going to join us, Miss Lucy?”

You and Zeke glance at one another. Clearly neither of you wants to overstep, especially not on fond memories which is silly if you think about it, but it’s still Zeke who speaks first. “You can come if you want,” he offers, gesturing at you unsurely. “If you’re still up for that kind of physical activity.”

You scoff, tossing the baseball back at him. “I turned nineteen, Zeke. Not ninety.”

“Fair enough,” he mutters, setting the ball aside and taking a seat next to Colt. Scooping up his portion from the serving plate, he adds, “Colt, you brought extra clothes, right?”

Still chewing his food, Colt nods and scoops up his backpack from beside his feet, loosing the front straps to reveal its contents: several pieces of extra clothing and a cute little towel that he suddenly covers with his hand. Zeke nods in approval, patting his shoulder. “Good. You’ll need that if Lucy is throwing. You might just be climbing trees today.”

“Thrice,” you sigh, somehow knowing this would be about you. “Thrice in over six years that happened.”

“Thrice too many,” Zeke grins, winking at you before he turns to his food and digs in.

You’re lucky the men are noisy eaters, because the clatter of silverware is enough to drown out the way your heart suddenly hiccups in your chest.

This time.

--

Somehow, that empty lot doubling as a wide alley where you used to play as a child remained unoccupied all this time, and once again the motions of stepping up to your space near that old tree further into the lot, ready to catch whatever Zeke and Mr. Ksaver threw at you, come as naturally as putting on a wrinkled armband. Instead of Zeke’s mentor, however, it’s his successor who takes your side, at least until it’s either of your turns to throw.

Zeke does as well as ever, and Colt isn’t a bad pitcher. You, however... maybe you’re a little rusty.

“Noo!” you groan, hands dramatically crumpling into fists over your head as you all watch your next shot fly over the wall. Even Colt lets his jaw drop as it lands somewhere into the next street over. You might have heard someone yelp.

Only Zeke is smiling as he lets out a long whistle. “I said what I said. The last generation’s candidate most versatile at arms, incapable of throwing a baseball.”

You lower your hands and glare at him. “You rattled me on purpose. You wouldn’t shut up when I was about to throw!”

“I was just trying to help,” says Zeke, looking all too pleased with himself. Any further taunting is interrupted by Colt who, bless his heart, is clearly horrified at the idea of anyone telling the Beast Titan to shut up. 

“That’s all right, Miss Lucy,” says Colt, removing his baseball mitt. “At least it didn’t get stuck in a tree, right?”

Zeke hums. “You don’t know that.”

Upper lip curled gracelessly against your teeth, you close your eyes and sigh. Colt is about to placate you further by leaving to find the ball when you open them again. “I’ll get it. Sit tight, children,” you say, more at Zeke than his candidate, and walk by the man with a sneer out of Colt’s sight.

Zeke waves at you as you leave, shoulders all stiff, and laughs. “Don’t mind her, Colt. She’s always been a terrible sport.”

Colt does his best not to appear doubtful. “...Not to overstep, Mr. Zeke, but... maybe she wouldn’t be as mad if you, er... stopped heckling her? Her other pitches were okay.”

Zeke allows his smile to fade as he peers down at the boy. “Friendly competition is all well and good, but you won’t find sportsmanlike behavior on the battlefield, Colt. Getting fazed—or making sure you don’t—can tip the scale between survival and death out there.”

Colt visibly pales at the thought. “O-Of course, Mr. Zeke. I understand.” He looks down, ashamed, and while Zeke is often content to leave it at that - even if he rarely feels the need to scold the kid, model candidate that he is - he remembers your words. It’s a weekend, not a work day, and this isn’t really supposed to be work. He knows what Colt meant, too.

If Zeke is going to be truthful, which he has no real intention of being on this entire matter, he didn’t really recognize you at first. Not even when Pieck’s guarded nonchalance melted into an embrace and Porco’s curiosity stiffened into displeasure, and especially not when you were suddenly willing to take Galliard’s shit, much less his. Not even when you tried to talk his grandfather down from an episode the way only Lucy would know how to do.

Was he expecting a twelve year-old brat to show up after all these years? Of course not. But your excessive civility, that constantly apologetic disposition (however deserved), and that overt sweetness… That isn’t the Lucy he knows. Or knew. Zeke was determined to ignore you for the next six years if he had to—just as you had him, fitting—until you came to him on your third night here and told him everything, or most of it. 

Was he angry that you believed Mila? That you turned away from him and Pieck for the approval of a woman who should have loved you worlds more than his grandmother does? How couldn’t he be? But your anger, your frustration, your tears—that’s the Lucy he knows. The one who stomped her foot at his door, who kicked him when he acted like an idiot (however undeserved), who can’t stand a messy room, who feels for the Warrior candidates, however necessary an evil—who worries about Reiner, of all people. That’s you. 

There you are, Zeke thinks warmly whenever he gets a rise out of you, though he doesn’t want to think about the validity of your righteous anger; how Lady Tybur hadn’t been wrong about the Titans and the world’s fear. Those things he’s managed to set aside as he has many others. And over the past few days he’s come to realize that it’s not all that strange that you’re less easily provoked nowadays. That you’re… sweeter. Technically you learned that in your first year in the Warrior program, learning some tact from Pieck and Marcel, and he’s sure boarding school taught you strange habits even the military couldn’t. Like being ladylike. Probably.

He will say that he hasn’t entirely reconciled the girl he knew looking like you do now. That one is… a strange development. But he’s never had time to take that sort of thing seriously, and you seem perfectly happy to return to the way things were between the two of you. He won’t risk ruining that, losing you again, for a trifle like physical attraction. Even if he did feel a little embarrassed assuming you wouldn’t be interested in catch anymore just because pretty blouses and long skirts suit you.

Besides, that hasn’t stopped you from being a terrible pitcher when you’re unnerved.  The thought makes him chuckle.

“Lighten up, Colt. I’m just kidding,” he says, walking up to the boy and clapping him on the back. “What I told you is true, but between me and Lucy—it’s just a bit of friendly ribbing. When you’ve known someone that long… you’ll understand when you’re older.”

Colt glances up at him in confusion, as expected, but smiles in relief. “Okay,” he nods, which comes out sounding more like If you say so, but Zeke doesn’t mind too much. 

Colt’s mother actually bought him an extra baseball, just in case, and they continue to play catch using that until enough time has passed that it’s clear you’ve been derailed in some way. Catching an impressive shot from Colt, Zeke says so and then motions for him to approach. “Lucy’s been gone too long. Get your things and we’ll go find her.”

Upbeat with praise, Colt is ready even before he is, pack slung over his arms so that he can tie it closed while they’re walking. “You said she hasn’t been here in years, right, Mr. Zeke? Maybe she got lost.”

“Maybe,” Zeke answers, gaze ahead, but he doubts that. This area hasn’t exactly changed, and you spent how many years here? You don’t forget things like that.

In a few minutes, Zeke learns that he’s right. You just get distracted by new faces.

“Who’s that?” asks Colt, taking a few steps back to stand next to Zeke when he realizes he’s stopped walking. A block over, further down the street from your lot, you’re smiling at a man holding Zeke’s baseball while he talks animatedly at you. Dark-haired guy, slightly younger than him, not too bad-looking. 

When he doesn’t answer, Colt asks again, taking one step forward to peer more closely. “Was he in the Warrior program? They seem like friends.”

“Beats me,” Zeke mutters, scratching at the side of his jaw. “Let’s not interrupt them.”

After what feels like ages and several moments of mirth on your end, you hold your hand out to the guy, who finally passes you the ball. He watches you go with a smile until a passerby bumps into him, after which he finally turns around and leaves himself. Zeke still has an eye on him in the crowd when you notice them, picking up the pace as you wave.

“Hey!” you grin, coming up to them with a jog. “Sorry about that. It wasn’t stuck in a tree, by the way. I, uh... just hit a guy by accident.”

Your eyes flit to Zeke, clearly expecting him to make a funny remark, but he only shrugs. “I said what I said,” he repeats. “That was a pretty long apology.”

“I’ve made longer ones,” you say, pointedly, but glance back to where you last saw the accident with another laugh. “Funny thing, he’s a med student at the university.  I met him when I confirmed my slot the other day. What a coincidence, right?”

“Yeah,” says Zeke, giving you another chuckle even if he doesn’t really get what’s so funny. Unlike his pupil, he takes care to hide the If you say so in his tone. 

--

You play catch a little longer after a snack break, asking Colt about his family (or Falco, mostly, when he visibly winces at the f-word), and avoid any more overthrow incidents for the sake of your pride. Is it your fault you assembled weapons better than you threw a dumb ball? Mr. Ksaver used to say no, but then he made you catcher more often back in the day, too.

Colt turns down Zeke’s offer to join the Yeagers for dinner, having promised Falco and his parents he would come home as soon as he was finished today. The two of you consider buying food on the way home, but you aren’t sure that Mrs. Yeager has returned, and it’s best not to let his grandfather be alone for too long, especially when he’s expecting you.

You still wish you hadn’t said all that about leaving on your first night. Dr. Yeager has forgotten many things, but he’s remembered the important ones. You wonder if that’s worse. 

“Tired?” Zeke asks when you’re near the house.

“Huh? Oh—no, why?”

He shrugs. “You’re quiet. Unnatural, is all.”

You elbow him at that. “I was just thinking. You weren’t talking to me either. Are you tired? Old age, perhaps, Mr. Zeke?”

Zeke sighs, as if he didn’t start all this, and as though it pains him to deal with such a child. “I’m turning twenty-five, Lucy, not fifty-two.”

“So you don’t want a cane for your birthday?”

He’s clearly trying to push down a grin, which only makes you cackle. Zeke forgets why he was so pensive himself as he forces a stern look on his face, his best Magath expression. “Keep laughing. I’m—”

His retort dies in his throat as you turn the corner. A familiar man stands near the door to the Yeager household. He’s dressed in casual clothing, wearing a white armband to blend in, but his posture is unmistakable. 

You’ve stopped in your tracks, already pallid next to Zeke, but the man hasn’t noticed you just yet. “We can always take a detour,” he offers. “Swing by that one dessert place near the Lorenzes’. Or was it called the Lorenzes’?”

You give it some thought. It’s tempting, but you doubt Dr. Yeager left the house today, and you don’t want him to be alone. “No. She shouldn’t even be here.”

“All right,” Zeke says, and leads the way ahead. You follow closely after him, hands cold as you undo the ribbon from your hair and comb through it in an attempt to make yourself more presentable. You end up tying it into a loose half-ponytail again.

The guard at the door smiles warmly at you, in contrast to the scrutiny he has always reserved for Zeke, even if he’s the one who gives him a cheerful wave. “Evening. Long time no see!”

If Tybur guards were permitted to look sour, the man at the door would. But that isn’t part of their training, so the man only turns to you as if to ask if Zeke is being as much of a nuisance to you as he supposes, or perhaps hopes. Unable to humor him at the moment, you only raise a hand in greeting and head inside after Zeke.

You know exactly what you were expecting, but that doesn’t make you any more prepared for the familiar sight of a woman waiting at the dining table, a glass of water raised to her lips. She wears a shawl over her hair, but you don’t need to see her face to know her. 

“Mila.”

Of course she must be announced before she cares to look at you. With reproach, because you shouldn’t say her name around here, but your curiosity and frustration overpower any possible embarrassment in that second. Still, she says nothing until she notices Zeke at your side, which is the only time she sets the glass down to acknowledge him with a nod. “Zeke Yeager. You’ve certainly grown.”

Standing next to you, Zeke takes just a step forward and nods in return, but he seems to have no intention of shaking her hand. Not that she’s offered it. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” says Mila, gesturing to the water as she rises. “I treated your grandparents to an early dinner and asked for some time alone. They mentioned you were due to return home soon.”

Zeke only inclines his head again, a silent shrug as careless as the day he first met her, only this time he knows who she is. You wish you could affect the same nonchalance, but you do mind that she’s here, again, in the place where you feel safest.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Mila?” you cut in.

Or try to, because Mila continues to smile at Zeke. “I would greatly appreciate a word alone with Lucy, Zeke.” 

Zeke doesn’t say anything. He only glances back at you, his face expressionless, but you know the question in his lowered head. You want to tell him to stay, to grab his hand which must be warm compared to yours, all clammy—if only you didn’t have your pride to consider. That and you don’t want Mila talking to him more than she has already. So you respond with what you hope is an encouraging smile, even if his knowing gaze makes your fingers tremble. He nods and steadies you with a squeeze of your shoulder before leaving the room.

When you’re finally alone, Mila sighs, the picture of poise you can only attempt to play at as she finally allows you to meet her gaze. “I merely thought you knew better, Lucy.”

“Better than what?”

“Than to go through with this… scheme,” she says, settling on the word as though it isn’t exactly what she thinks of it all. “You were permitted to take the state exam, but you know very well it should have ended at that. The gall of proceeding with this farce… Really, Lucy, I thought even you above it.”

The words pierce right through you, though you remain perfectly still. Again you tell yourself you’ve been through worse with your former drill instructors, with Magath, who has called you much worse in the regime’s bid to train perfectly mindless Warriors, and you try to replace the hurt with the indignation you felt all those years ago. 

Struggling to keep your posture from slipping, you ask, “Does Willy know you’re here, Mila?”

She gives you the lady’s equivalent of a snort. “I don’t require my husband’s permission to go where I choose.”

“Then why,” you repeat slowly, doing your best and somehow managing to sound perfectly level, “are you here? I thought my departure would please you of all people. Please tell me, Mila, how I’ve offended you by choosing to pursue the medical profession.”

You raise your head as you speak the words, almost proud—or thinking that Zeke will be, because you’ve never spoken this way to Mila, you doubt anyone has—until she laughs, and you want to shrink into the ground so she can squash you like a bug and end this misery. You bite your tongue to keep yourself on your feet as she answers, “Let’s not pretend that you do this for a cause so noble as that.”

Now you’re genuinely confused. “...Why else would I be doing this?” 

Suddenly, Mila’s eyes flash with anger. “‘Why else?’” she mocks, her venom teetering on the edge of propriety. “To shirk your duty, of course. First you convinced Lord Walter to let you escape it for thirteen more years, and now you pursue this ‘dream’ of yours? Don’t think for one second,” she might spit, if she weren’t so dignified, “that I’ll let you foist it off to one of my children before it’s time!”

She hasn’t advanced an inch, but you find yourself taking a step back. That a single movement can cause you to feel so breathless is ridiculous, but you feel the emotion rising in your throat. You try to swallow it down nonetheless as you gawp at her like a stupid little fish. Your chest feels completely hollow, and your stomach has sunk to your feet. “You…” you gulp again, mouth dry. “Mila, you think I would do that?”

“Not even a denial,” Mila murmurs, unmoved by your clear distress. “You should be ashamed, you selfish girl.”

“Mila,” you say her name, as though it’ll make her look at you any different, listen to you for once, “I didn’t ask father for anything. In fact, I begged him for the War Hammer.” You are strangely calm even if you’re on the verge of tears, even with your composure on its last legs. “Why would I ever want my nephews to go through the training? If I could keep them from inheriting it one day, I would. How could you ever think otherwise?”

Your voice twists with pain at the tail end of your question. For a moment, you almost think you see sympathy in Mila’s eyes. Maybe belief, even just pity—but it must only be the vain hope your heart knows too well, because she only scoffs. “Your nephews,” she sneers as though you’re lying. “You needn’t pretend that you care for my children.”

You cannot understand how she can think that of you. You’re aware she isn’t fond of your spending time with them, and it’s always been Willy’s invitation that permits you to see their children. But you’ve always believed that was due to her own feelings about you. You’ve never imagined it might be because she could truly believe that you could want less than only long, happy lives for them. That you would wish those dear children harm, even passively.

“Mila!” you finally react, halfway between grief and fury when the door to the hall swings open, slamming into the wall next to it as Zeke sweeps ahead of you. His heavy hand finds your arm again, and he yanks you behind him, his back as steady as your knees are trembling. 

“I’ll have to ask you to leave,” Zeke says simply, face impassive, as if that isn’t the flashiest entrance anyone has ever made on your behalf. He uses the Warchief voice you made fun of the night he forgave you, only now you are incredibly grateful for it. The truth is it does suit him—deep, stern, and utterly cold—especially when he’s using it to protect you. 

Mila watches him, bug-eyed as she trembles with fury. “How dare you. After the kindness my husband has shown this family?”

“Be careful, Lady Tybur,” Zeke says lowly, very literally looking down his nose at her. “The walls here are thin, and we want our neighbors talking about as much as you do.”

Gently moving you aside, he makes his way out to the front door and opens it. The general noise of the city rushes in with the cold night air, putting an end to any words that might be left between you. Mila seems doused herself, maintaining only her dignified displeasure, and she walks out without another word. 

Zeke shuts the door. He mutters something about getting the locks replaced as he turns toward the dining room, but you’re already behind him, close to the stairs. The sudden quiet is deafening.

“Thank you,” you say to him, trying but failing to give him that same smile he received before he left you with Mila, and leap up the stairs, skipping a few steps in your haste. 

“Lucy.” You’re as spry as ever, but that’s never mattered where Zeke is concerned. He goes after you, calling your name, and is upon you before you can flee to your room. “Come on, Lucy.” His hand finds your shoulder again. He lets you shake it off, but it’s enough to get you to stop.

You’re not breathing. Mostly because your nose is full and your eyes are blurry, and exhaling means letting him figure that out. You inhale through your mouth instead, hoping he can’t hear you gulp as you take another step toward your room. “I mean it. Thank you,” you say, inwardly cursing your shaking voice. Your throat aches all the way to your ears. “I just want to be alone right now.”

Zeke’s voice is quiet now. Gentle, which makes it worse. “Do you really?”

You can’t help it. You turn around, as pathetic as that snot-nosed brat from years ago. You’d thought that after you discovered Mila’s ploy to make you hate the only people who have ever loved you apart from Lara that her words would lose their power over you—but here you are, a woman grown, eyes still brimming with disappointment, lips quivering like a little baby. 

Zeke watches you, quiet under the stark light of the hallway. You feel naked. Aren’t they supposed to be dimmer?

“Lucy, you know what I wanted from Grisha. Just like I know what you wanted from Mila.”

His compassion makes your face scrunch up in anguish, but you’re still trying to bite it back. Wiping, covering your nose with your knuckles, you peer up at him, feeling smaller and smaller the longer it takes you to just open your mouth. “...You gonna call me a crybaby?”

The hallway light seems so bright now that Zeke’s eyes are shining too. His voice remains soft as if to make up for it. “Aren’t you?”

He smiles tenderly, and you can no longer hold it in. Six years without comfort catch up with you in seconds and you burst into tears, stumbling toward him. He opens his arms to you, one hand sinking into your hair, drawing you into his chest. The other gently rubs your back as you weep into his shirt, grieving for something you’ll never have.

“Were you… were you listening?” you ask in between sobs, muffled by his now rumpled button-down. 

You feel Zeke nod against your head. “I didn’t—I don’t trust her. And…” he takes a second to clear his throat, “you shouldn’t either. I know how much you love those kids. So do my grandparents.”

The truth only makes you cry harder, but he doesn’t complain. Even in his silence, Zeke is all warmth, his comfort steadfast despite how uncomfortably damp you’ve made his chest. His shudders too, but eventually, the even rise and fall of it brings you down to hiccupy whimpers that his hands, stroking your hair and your back, soon manage to quiet. You expect him to let you go, tease you about it the way he has before, but his arms are still wound tightly around you, soothing. You don’t know that he’s been alone all this time too.

You’re the one who pulls away after what feels like both an eternity and a brief moment, avoiding his gaze as you mutter an apology. He doesn’t say much either, only leading you to his room and guiding you to sit at the edge of his bed. Handing you a clean handkerchief this time, he leaves the room and then reappears with water. It’s almost enough to make you break down again.

You drink through it and blink away the emotion that still gurgles in your chest. Zeke has sat next to you, arm on his knee folded over the bed as usual, ready to reach out if he has to. You feel as grateful as you are pathetic. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”

Zeke shrugs. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

You can’t resist your humorous huff at his teasing, even if you do flick a finger at his arm. 

“Ow,” he whines, flinching very affectedly, only to grin as you chuckle hoarsely. You fall into another silence as you take another drink from your glass. When your eyes are surely dry, he looks at you again. “Do you want to tell me a story?”

You consider it, but he already knows your history with Mila, and you feel childish enough as it is. This isn’t the Lucy you wanted him to see.

Your eyes are puffy as you smile at him, but you are smiling. Genuinely, even if your face feels gross and raw. “You like listening to me that much?”

Zeke glances away and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Look around you. I’m a captive audience.”

In spite of everything, laughter bubbles out of you. Zeke rolls his eyes but says nothing else, just letting you—until the creaking sound of the front door opening reaches you both. You freeze, fingers reaching for your face, and quickly get to your feet. “I’ll go wash up. Can you come up with an excuse for me?”

“You don’t have to—” Zeke begins, until you give him a funny look. Your face is puffy, sticky with dried tears, not to mention you can’t breathe right. He cuts himself off and shrugs helplessly. “Go ahead. I need to change, anyway.”

His shirt isn’t as damp as it was before, mostly wrinkled since it’s dried, but you smile sheepishly anyway. “Sorry.”

He’s turned for his closet by then, only waving you away, so you hurry over to the bathroom and lock the door as you wash your face with cold water. You consider showering, but you would never do that before dinner if you can help it and then the Yeagers will know something is amiss, which defeats the purpose. Instead you linger in the bathroom, cupping cold water to your eyes until you feel a little less like sleeping, like you used to do after a good cry.

You hear voices calling from downstairs and feel Zeke’s footsteps outside. He manages to buy you time, but inevitably knocks on the bathroom door saying Dinner. He leaves you to follow after a while. 

Correctly guessing that you and Zeke would not have started with dinner by the time they arrive home, the Yeagers bought you meals instead. Predictably, they speak highly of Mila and ask after her as you dig in, and it’s Zeke who changes the subject to Colt’s weekly improvement. It works, with the topic settling on the Grices. Dr. Yeager accepts your excuse of it must be the weather when he asks why your nose is all stuffy.

“Lucy,” says Mrs. Yeager, while Zeke tells his grandfather about Falco, “did you see your letter?”

You cock your head, finishing up the last of your plate. “My letter, Mrs. Yeager?”

“You haven’t seen it?” she asks curiously, but brushes the question aside. “I brought it to your desk when it arrived. I believe it’s from Lara.”

Her face lights up watchings yours. Mrs. Yeager knows you well enough, after all, to understand how much you looked forward to those letters as a girl. And she’s right—much as you dread news from the Tybur family, a letter from Lara is still a letter from Lara. “Go on,” she pats your hand. “We can handle clean-up.”

“But—”

“Go on,” the Yeager men turn on you and insist, and you smile, thanking them with a nod before bounding up the stairs to your room. True enough, an innocuous white envelope sits beneath your paperweight, and you have to take care not to rip it to shreds in your haste to reach its contents. 

Sweet Lucy, Lara begins as she always has. She talks about the estate, mostly, the summer flowers that bloom in the gardens and the pair of sunbirds that have finished building their nest by your old window, because you both know she can’t talk about where Tybur business has taken Willy and, as a consequence, his War Hammer. She mentions your nieces and nephews, how the twins have both said their first words, and to your delight sends Fine’s love (and quiet insistence that you visit as often as school permits). 

With little else to discuss apart from her own questions for you, she finally explains why she has written ahead. Mila, she writes in code, has business close to the city. Sister may deign to see the doctor this week. It’s too late for that warning, you think glumly, but it’s not Lara’s fault. And anyway, you’ve forgotten all that by the time you read her parting words. Not her old I miss you every day, or even With love, Lara, but her little postscript, which you know is hardly an afterthought. She must simply not have known where to place it. 

Small wonder now that she hasn't bothered to send Willy’s regards.

Brother means to visit Liberio soon.

////

Thank you for reading! I know I had a footnote for something in the chapter, but I've forgotten now. Oops. I'm sure I'll edit this later when I remember!

04/24/21 edit: I remember now. Is it obvious how much I wish Colt and Lara had more screentime? XD Lara’s not all that talkative here either (aloud anyway) but I’m so excited to write a little bit of her POV way way down the line. (I actually did write a little of that earlier and then made myself all sad 😪)

I'd love to hear what you think!

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I just wanted to make you smile again; 10th Doctor x child reader

*Author’s note*

Okay to the anon who requested this fic THANK YOU FOR BEING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PATIENT WITH ME!!!! To those anons and users who have sent me requests literally since last year I thank you all for your patience, I AM GETTING THEM DONE SLOWLY BUT SURELY. I’m already in process of doing another DW fic w/13th doctor (one of the first requests I got when I opened them last year) so I hope you all enjoy this fic.

This takes place after the episode Journey’s end so to those that haven’t seen the episode yet SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Angst and fluff is what this fic is. Enjoy my lovelies and until next time ;)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

_________________________________________________________

Things have been—tough. The Daleks, one of my daddy’s biggest enemies nearly had us and almost succeeded in destroying all of life and matter as we know it.  But thanks to some fast thinking and with the help of a clone of my dad, we managed to stop Davros as well as the rest of the Daleks.

But honestly that was the easy part.  The hardest was saying goodbye to all of our friends.  Rose and her mum went back to the parallel world with the meta-human clone of my daddy, Captain Jack took Martha and Mickey off on another adventure, Sarah Jane (an old friend of my dad’s long before I was born) went back home, and Donna—oh poor, poor Donna.

Daddy said that in order to help stop the Daleks, Donna, who had touched the severed hand of my dad when he first became this new version of himself, gained so much knowledge of the Timelords and of our home that it could overwhelm her brain and eventually kill her.  So my dad had to absorb all memory of Timelord knowledge, including all the times she spent with us.

After taking her back home, daddy told her father that it was too dangerous for her to remember anything.  If there was a glimpse of her recovering her memories, she would die.  So my dad and I left her and her family and he never went back.

Since that day, almost seven months later, he still carries that guilt.  And what’s worse is that he hasn’t been the same. He doesn’t smile as much as he used to before.  I think out of everything that I love about my daddy, it’s his smile that always made me feel happy and safe.

I stepped out of my room to see him where he usually was, standing at the controls with that dazed but intense look on his face.  I looked down at paper butterfly and cautiously walked towards my dad. It’s always a touch and go of how he’ll react whenever he’s in that deep haze.  One time he actually shouted at me and I was scared to even go near him for an entire week till he apologized to me with some Turkish delights.

“Daddy.” I said softly. “Umm…uhh daddy?” he snapped out of his daze and looked down at me.

“Oh (Y/n). Sorry I was just—I was just trying to find….nothing. What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“Well I—finished my paper butterfly and I-wanted to give it to you.” I held it out to him and he looked down at me.  He knelt down and took the butterfly from my hands and I saw his eyes grow soft.

“It’s beautiful love. Thank you.” he gently ruffled my hair and placed my butterfly right along the controls.  It didn’t work.

I had hoped that my paper butterfly would get him to smile.  He always smiled whenever I made him little trinkets of my own design, or beautiful art projects that I’ve seen on Earth.  I thought that by doing an art project, he’d smile again but it didn’t work.

I was currently in my room reading some books written back in the 20th century.  I’ve always found that time period to be rather splendid.  It was a simpler time (if you don’t count the 2 World wars, the Great depression, and every war after that. You know why must humans always start wars?)

Anyways, the start of the 20th century is always my favorite place.  It’s quiet, tranquil, and peaceful.  A nice place, especially out in the countryside. People can have picnics, host carnivals, and yeah the grown men partake in Foxhunt but I think it’s a barbaric sport and yet they call it tradition.

Maybe if—maybe if we stayed there for a while, daddy could get better and smile once again.  I think the more time we stay in the TARDIS and just keep going through space and time, the more unhappy daddy’s gonna get, like I said he always gets lost in his head and the more bad things that happen around him, the more he keeps it bottled up inside and the more sadder he gets.

The only question now was this—how was I gonna get there? I don’t know how to drive the TARDIS cause daddy always told me to keep my grabby little paws off of it. Oh wait that’s it! I raced over to my drawer and pulled out the middle one and dug through it till I found what I was looking for.

A special teleportation watch gifted to me by Uncle Jack when my dad was in his previous form (just shortly after we first met him).  I placed the watch on my wrist and I set the time and date that I wanted to go to.  Once the coordinates were typed in, I pressed the center of the watch and I disappeared from my room and went to go set up my surprise for daddy.

*10th Doctor’s POV*

I was fiddling around with the controls when I turned and looked up at my daughter’s butterfly.  For months now she’s been making these little trinkets and art projects for me, and I really haven’t been fair to her.  A lot has happened to us, especially with what happened to Donna, and I hate to admit this to myself but I’ve been neglecting my little butterfly.

Maybe she would like it if I took her to see her favorite constellation, or maybe Barcelona (she always did like Barcelona).  Oh! No wait! The Music of the Spheres! Yes brilliant! She and I could use some music in our life, the sound of the universe singing to us.

“Hey (Y/n)! Can you come out here for a second?” I called out to her.  No response.  Okay I know it usually takes her a bit of time to come down from her room but usually she’d be right here by now. “(Y/n)? (Y/n) I said can you come here please?” bah she must be listening to that loud music again, that lass I tell you what.

I left the console room and headed on over to her room and saw that her door was shut which was surprising cause she usually keeps her door open.  I knocked on it and said.

“Poppet, are you okay? You’re not—upset or anything are you?” I still didn’t hear anything from her.  “Look I—I know we’ve been through a lot the past several months, and I have no excuse for not speaking to you. I’m sorry. So—can you please open the door so we can talk?” still nothing.

Alright I know she has a right to be upset but she can’t give me the silent treatment forever.  I opened up the door and snapped.

“Alright little madam you listen here I—” it was then I saw that she wasn’t in her room. “(Y/n)?” I looked around her room to see if she was hiding in her closet again (she always takes every advantage to jump out and scare me) but when I saw that she wasn’t there, that’s when I began to get worried.

As I left her room and began to look all around the TARDIS from the backroom pool, to the library I still couldn’t find her.

“C’mon poppet don’t do this to me.” I searched high and low, near and far and every crack in between but she still wasn’t around. “No, no, no, no, no love don’t do this to me! (Y/n)!”

I raced back towards the console and went over to the computer monitor and I quickly typed in her lifeform energy.  Since she was the only Timelord in existence (well next to me), I knew that she could be pinpoint at any time in any era she might be in.  I only hope that I can get to her before—no! NO DON’T THINK LIKE THAT!! You WON’T lose her like you lost Donna!

“C’mon you blasted thing LOAD!!!” I screamed at the computer before finally I got a hit.  London, England 1908.  Of course, she always said the start of the 20th century was her favorite time period.  I punched in the coordinates and flipped the switch and soon the TARDIS started back up and I was sailing back in time over 100 years into the past.

Once I arrived, I peeked out of the TARDIS and found myself adjacent to a large park. It was pretty peaceful, families were out and about doing their normal human interactions.  I shut the doors to the TARDIS and I quickly raced over to the park and searched for (Y/n).

This was where her last known readings were at.  At this exact spot so where could that little troublemaker be at?  I walked up to a couple and said.

“Hi sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you have found a little girl around 5 years old with (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes? She’s my daughter and she’s wondered off again.”

“No sorry. We haven’t seen any little girls fitting that description.” Said the man as he and his wife continued on their walk.  I then found another couple who seemed a more upper-class couple due to the diamond necklace around the woman’s neck.

“Excuse me could you both please help me I’m looking for my daughter have either of you……”

“We don’t have time to look for lost children, that’s what the servants are for.” Said the man.

“And who loses their child anyway? Such irresponsibility.” The woman snide.  I looked at them offendedly and said.

“At least I don’t dump my child on anyone else! I’m surprised that people like you could even have children.” They looked at me appalled before huffing and walking away from me.  

I grunted and adjusted my jacket trying to compose myself when a small Cockney accent said.

“You said you were looking for (Y/n)?” I turned around and there was a young ginger haired boy with freckles speckled all over his face.  His bright blue eyes staring up at me and he wore a paper boy’s uniform.

“Yeah that’s my daughter’s name. Do you know where she is?”

“Course I do Gov. Just got done talking with her before I started my work sir. She’s right by the lake.”

“The Lake! Oh thank you lad. Thank you so much.”

“No problem, good luck governor.” I raced off towards the lake and when I got there, I soon saw my daughter sitting right by the lake surrounded by flowers and in her lap it looked like she was in the process of making a flower crown.

The important thing was that she was safe, but that little missy is sooo going to get it now.

I trudged my way towards her and exclaimed.

“(Y/n)!” she stopped her work and turned around.  Her big (e/c) eyes staring up at me and a smile spread across her face. She stood up and ran towards me and hugged around my legs.

“Daddy you came!”

“Yes I did.” I knelt down and began to check to see if she was hurt or worst case scenario been replaced by a Graske. “Are you hurt?”

“No I’m perfectly fine.”

“Answer me this then. Who was the first companion that we had together?”

“Rose Tyler.” Okay this was my baby girl.  I immediately hugged her and whispered to her as I rest my head on top of hers.

“I thought I had lost you.” I then separated from her before scolding her vert sternly, “Do you have any idea how worried I was!? You leave your room with no note! How on earth did you leave the TARDIS without my knowledge?!”

“Uncle Jack’s time jump watch.” She said nervously as she held out her wrist.  I looked down and right there was the time teleport watch that Jack had given her shortly after we met him for the first time in my previous state.

“That figures. Remind me to never let him give you anymore teleportation gifts without my permission.” I muttered to myself. “Bottom line is that you left the TARDIS without my permission and had me scared to death! What if something happened to you hmm? Did it ever cross your mind about how that would make me feel!?”

Yes I know my voice was steadily getting angrier and angrier but she should’ve realized that my one rule for her is to never, ever, ever leave the TARDIS without my permission or knowledge and she broke that rule.

“I—I’m sorry daddy. I just……thought that if I brought you here, you would be happy.” My anger quickly vanished and confusion now took its place.

“What?” I asked her.

“Ever since—” she deeply sighed. “After what happened with Donna you never smile anymore. No matter what I’ve done, I could never get you to smile. Your real smile, the smile that always made me feel loved and protected. I thought that maybe we could—stay here for a while till you were happy again.” She looked down with regret.

I rubbed my hand over my face and through my hair before looking back down at her. I cupped my hands over her face and I said to her.

“What would I ever do without you my little butterfly?” she smiled softly.

“So we can stay?” she asked.

“For now.” I answered her.  She squealed happily and immediately hugged me around my neck repeatedly telling me thank you.  I smiled and embraced my baby girl back and kissed the top of her head as I rocked her back and forth.

This little madam truly does have me wrapped around her little finger, and she seems to know it as well.  But she was right.  Staying in one area made you stop and admire what’s around you, and not stay trapped inside your head letting your demons torment you.

We stayed in 1908 for about five months just enjoying each other’s company.  Going to the park every day, having picnics and tea parties out in the garden of our rented little cottage, and stargazing every night teaching her more about the galaxy and the stars.  

For the first time ever, I felt—peaceful, no regrets, no painful reminders of what I had to do to Donna, it was just me and my daughter.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

Flames of yesterday: Epilogue

Summary: 5 years ago they made a mistake. They were two broken men drinking away their love life issues, and one girl trying to help a friend. What the night leaves them with are two broken hearts and one nearly broken friendship. 5 years later, two are still broken and another one fixed. But what happens when they all meet again? Will it open old wounds and bring all the their insecurities rushing back?  Or will it mend the two hearts still looking for warmth, unable to find it after their parting?

Words: 4180

Authors notes: A crossover of Open Heart and The Elementalists, a collaboration series by @drakewalkerfantasy and @fluffy-marshmallow-heart

Thank you everyone who was with us from the beginning of this journey till the end or who joined later. I hope you enjoyed this series. 

Ethan x OH MC (Diana)

Beckett x TE MC (Oriana)

**Warnings: fluff, a lot of fluff, love and friendship**

NEW YEAR’S EVE

“Beck come on, they’re going to be here any second!” Oriana called up the stairs of their house. “Isabella is already asleep!”

A couple minutes later Beckett padded down the staircase and glared at his wife. “If you keep shouting like that, she’ll wake up! I just wanted to make sure she’s okay in her crib. She just started sleeping in it, after all.”

“I know, and that’s very sweet.” Oriana kissed him gently. “But I’m serious, you need to start opening the wine bottles and help me with the rest of the food.”

“You made enough food for an army. Why did you make so much?”

Oriana sighed. “Because I don’t know what Ethan likes! And you know I love to cook. You’ve never complained about the amount of food I’ve made before. In fact…there’s been several times that was an advantage for you…” She trailed off, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “You remember that chocolate fountain, right? With the strawberries and whipped cream?”

Beckett started blushing furiously. “That…of course, I remember that.” He slipped his hand around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Don’t tell me you got all that again tonight, because I will lock that front door and we’ll spend the whole night…taste testing…”

“Mmmm I love when you get kinky.” Oriana replied, causing Beckett to chuckle. “Will you blindfold me again too?”

At that exact moment, their doorbell rang.

“Shit.” Beckett cursed, looking down at the giant bulge in his pants. “Why do you always do this to me.” He mumbled, trying to adjust himself to hide how turned on he got in a matter of seconds.

Oriana just shrugged. “You just make it so easy.”

She walked over to the door, opening it wide with a grin. “Hey guys! Come in! Let me get your coats!”

Diana and Ethan stepped into the entryway, removing their jackets and handing them over. After hanging them up in the coat closet, Oriana led them to the kitchen, where Beckett was hiding behind the island.

“Beckett.” Ethan acknowledged, reaching out his hand and shaking Beckett’s. “Always nice to see you. And Oriana, you look lovely as always.”

“Aw, thank you. It’s good to see you too. I made a ton of food, I hope you’re hungry.”

“Always.” Diana grinned. “Thanks for having us. Where’s little Isa?”

“Bed.” Beckett piped in. “Want some wine? We just have to keep the volume down.”

“I’ll take some.” Ethan told him.

“Do you have any sparking grape juice?” Diana asked hopefully.

Oriana smirked. “We do.”

Beckett looked at her, confused. “You know you’re not pregnant anymore, Ori, you can drink wine.”

“Force of habit. And I already bought it, so might as well drink up!” She replied cheerfully, handing Beckett the bottle. “Besides, don’t want any alcohol getting in my breast milk.”

He opened it and poured two flutes full, then turned back to Ethan. “What kind of wine do you like? We have reds, whites, sweet, dry, sparkling…”

“A Riesling would be excellent.”

Nodding, Beckett opened a bottle of chilled Riesling and poured himself and Ethan flutes. The four friends raised their glasses.

“To new friends.” Ethan smiled at Beckett and Oriana.

“To new love.” Beckett grinned proudly at his best friend, so happy she finally found what he had. He was thrilled for her.

“To family.” Diana added.

“And to embracing the future…whatever that may bring.” Oriana finished. The four of them clinked their glasses together and took sips of their drinks. Beckett then pulled out two casseroles from the bottom oven and 3 dips from the top oven, while Oriana pulled out bags of chips, veggies, paper plates, napkins, and silverware.

Ethan’s eyes widened. “That’s…a lot of food. You made all this yourself? We could have brought something, I’m sure you’re swamped with taking care of your little girl.”

“No, no, I love cooking. Besides, Beckett is always eager to spend time with Isa.” Oriana grinned. “I gotta tell you though…we’re both pretty tired and I’m sure she’ll wake up at some point considering she’s only a month old.”

It had been two months since the conference; two months since Ethan and Diana admitted their feelings for each other, and they had been inseparable ever since. They both signed a release at the hospital, much to Harper Emery’s disdain. It did not go entirely smoothly, especially with what happened to Declan Nash. However, Ethan had been right about one thing. They were getting the funding regardless of what happened. One condition was that Declan was never in the hospital when Ethan or Diana was, which was so often he would barely show his face. They’ve been in and out of legal to make sure the deal went off without a hitch.

Oriana’s labor had been a difficult one, and it broke everyone’s heart that she was in labor for two days before being rushed for cesarean, as the fetus’s blood pressure dropped significantly, but finally she gave birth to a healthy little baby girl that they named Isabella, and Isa as a nickname. They had all grown extremely close, and surprisingly Beckett and Ethan ended up becoming good friends in no time at all. Since Beckett and Diana were still interns, their experience was limited, especially in natal care. Despite Beckett having performed a cesarean on Dolores, he was not doing well emotionally with this at all. This was his wife, his world, this was extremely personal, just like Dolores had been to Ethan. So, Ethan was really there for Beckett when Oriana was having such a difficult time. Since she had to be put under anesthesia, he wasn’t even allowed in the room and he was wreck. Diana was unfortunately in the middle of a shift, and technically so was Ethan, but since he had a lot more pull, he was able to be there for them, and Diana appreciated it more than she could ever say. She and Ethan were practically inseparable outside of working hours, but in the hospital they kept their interactions brief and professional as to not make things awkward for the rest of the staff and interns. They would only bend that rule in Ethan’s office, with the door closed and locked, but even then they had to be quick so no one noticed they were gone.

Now, on New Year’s Eve, the four friends had decided to ring in the new year together. It was important for them all to be together that night and start off as good friends when the new year began. Everyone had readily agreed to the plan as Beckett and Oriana were often busy and exhausted taking care of a newborn, so they were not as sociable as they used to be. Although Diana and Ethan were both involved with making sure the new little family was taken care of, they did not want to overstay their welcome and make Oriana and Beckett feel like they have to entertain them instead of bonding together as a family.

“So.” Beckett cleared his throat, taking his wife’s hand. “There is something Oriana and I would like to ask you two, and perhaps we should have asked sooner but…”

Diana waved him off. “I’m sure whatever it is didn’t have to be decided right away.”

Beckett blushed a bit as Oriana squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue. “Ori and I…we’ve talked a lot about this, and we were hoping…well, we’re asking…the two of you will consider being Isabella’s godparents.”

Diana’s hands flew to her mouth, her eyes filled with delight, while Ethan stood stunned. “A-Are you sure? We haven’t known each other too long and…I’d be honored of course, but I don’t want you to feel like just because you want Diana to be godmother that I have to be godfather. We’re not even married.”

“But you’ll propose at some point.” Oriana said confidently, causing Diana to smother a laugh. “Besides, even if you don’t get married, I’m sure you’ll stay together anyway.”

Beckett looked directly at Ethan. “As I said, we considered this very carefully and the truth is…” He trailed off, taking a deep breath. “You were there for me when I was losing my mind with worry. Not just anyone would do that. You’re…a really good man, Ethan Ramsey. And I agree with Oriana that you and Diana have an extraordinarily strong bond, and we’re not worried about your relationship.”

Diana sniffled, several tears escaping her eyes before she stepped forward and yanked Beckett into a giant hug. “Thank you.” She whispered, before turning back to Ethan. “Well? It’s up to you, but I believe they’re waiting for an answer.”

After a moment of hesitation, Ethan smiled widely. “Of course, I accept.”

Diana squealed in happiness as she kissed Ethan. After sharing a small nod, the two of them faced Beckett and Oriana again. “Actually…there’s something we want to tell you.” Diana said before sharing a joyful glance with Ethan, his fingers interlacing through hers’s, giving them a light squeeze of encouragement. “We are pregnant,” she rattled off, feeling how her heart skipped a beat when a silence hung in the air.

She could see how Beckett’s brows furrowed in confusion, trying to process news they just shared, looking between Diana and Ethan. They both could see how the realization settled at him, and his eyes widened, a happy grin spreading across his face. But before he could say or do anything, they heard the deafening cry of joy breaking the silence. Everyone’s eyes moved to Oriana, who was clapping her hands together excitedly.

“I knew it!!!” Oriana shrieked. “That’s the real reason I bought the sparkling grape juice! I’ve had my suspicions, and then you saying you wanted to drink that confirmed it for me. Oh my god, you guys!!! I’m so happy for you!!” She lunged forward, wrapping both Diana and Ethan in a hug.

“What? How did you know?” Diana asked in surprise, with both Ethan and Beckett furrowing their eyebrows in confusion.

“Okay, well first off, I just went through it, so I know a lot about it. Second, every time I’ve talked to you, you just seem completely exhausted. And last month when I brewed coffee, you wrinkled your nose and dashed off. You love coffee, and you definitely love the smell of coffee, so that was a huge sign.”

“Hmm, I guess…” Diana started before Oriana interrupted.

“And last, your boobs are already bigger.”

Diana’s eyes widened as Ethan started coughing.

“Ori!!” Beckett’s face was bright red. “What…how…do you stare at her breasts or something? How would you know that?”

“We went shopping together last week. Course, I was already suspicious, but when she tried on that form-fitting red dress, I was like ‘wow! Look out!’”

“Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing.” Diana muttered, her face turning the same shade as Beckett’s.

“No way, I’m sure Ethan is enjoying them.” Oriana teased.

“Oh my god! Ori stop!” Beckett exclaimed, the red on his cheeks spreading over his whole face, ears, and neck.

Oriana shrugged innocently. “Just sayin. You still enjoy mine plenty.”

Beckett’s mouth fell open as he turned away quickly. “I’m getting another drink.”

“I’ll join you.” Ethan said immediately, the two men walking away as fast as they could, neither one saying a word until they reached the kitchen.

“Welcome to married life.” Beckett mumbled as he poured new drinks.

Ethan chuckled under his breath. “Good to know.”

Beckett’s gray eyes met Ethan’s blue ones. “I’m pretty sure I know you well enough that I don’t have to ask this, but as Di’s best friend I’m going to. You didn’t get the ring just because she’s pregnant, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Ethan replied, not missing a beat. “I want to marry her. Actually, the day when she told me the news, I was taking her to her favorite spot to propose.”

“Why didn’t you?” Beckett asked, trying to figure out what possibly could change his mind.

“I wanted, but Oriana went into labor, and it didn’t felt right. We all were worried for her and the baby. And you needed us,” Ethan replied.

“Wait.... do you want to tell me that she is pregnant for at least two months, and you both didn’t tell us? She was the first one with whom we shared our news,” Beckett said, feeling a little bit upset that they didn’t share the news earlier, but no less happy for his friends.

“She wanted to tell you as soon as she shared the news with me, but not when Oriana was in the hospital, and then when Isa was born, we wanted for you to celebrate the life you created, not us,” Ethan replied, patting Beckett on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” Beckett appreciatively smiled at Ethan before looking towards the girls. “But still, you didn’t answer why didn’t you propose later? You had at least a month to do that.”

“Honestly?” Ethan asked, watching Beckett nod. “I started to question if she wouldn’t think I propose just because of the baby. And this is why a week ago I turned to you. I love Diana,” Ethan replied.

“I know. If I would doubt it, I wouldn’t help you,” Beckett noted. “So? Are you proposing tonight? Everything is ready if you are.”

“Yes, I’m. And--- thank you,” Ethan smiled, his hand wrapping around the small diamond ring inside his pocket. “I hope Oriana will not kill you when she finds out you knew for a week?”

“She will be too happy for both of you, that I hope she will not pay attention to this little detail,” Beckett laughed.

Meantimes, Oriana turned back to face Diana, with a huge grin on her face.

“So--- How Ethan took the news? Don’t worry if he freaked out when I announced mine to Beckett, he didn’t let me do anything. If it would be up to him, I probably would lay home flat all these 8 months since we find out I’m pregnant. Thanks to you never happened,” Oriana laughed, grabbing Diana’s hands in her’s excitedly.

“Actually, he didn’t freak out. He was shocked of course, but happy,” Diana said, smiling to her friend throwing a happy glance at the man she loved more than anything, who was leaning on the counter while talking with her best friend. The warmth spread in her chest while she started to fill in Oriana in how Ethan took the news.

It was a little bit more than 5 weeks since the conference, and today was their first day off together since they went back to work. During this time, they became extremely close to each other, physically and emotionally. And their love grew only stronger. Using an opportunity, Ethan asked Diana out to the place he knew is important to her. To the place where she shared the most important part of herself with him and told him everything that she and Beckett told months earlier to Oriana.

Diana felt nervous twirling in front of the mirror in her new yellow dress, anxiously checking the content of her bag for the hundredth time.

Ethan should be here soon. Thought she, after a moment hearing a soft knock at the door. Her face brightened, and she quickly ran to the door. Her eyes lightened up instantly, meeting Ethan’s, and their lips met as soon as he crossed the threshold, picking her up and twirling.

“Mmmmmm,” he breathed into the kiss, softly pecking her on the lips before placing her back to the ground. “I missed you,” he murmured against her lips before letting her go. Taking her coat from the railing, he helped her to put it on, linking their hands together.

After a while, they went into the park, heading to Diana’s favorite place, the place that brought both happy and sad memories. But today, Ethan was determined to change that, bringing more happy memories to this place. Oblivious, that Diana was full of determination to do the same. Entering the park, they headed to the wooden bridge over the river.

Ethan’s hand placed on the small of her back, when they both leaned on the railing, watching at the river flowing in front of them before turning to face each other.

“I want to...,” both started in unison, joining their hands.

“You first,” Ethan told her, bringing her hand to his lips, and placing a gentle kiss to the top of it.

“Okay,” Diana said, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes for a second before opening them again. “I... I’m pregnant,” she whispered, so quietly that he practically didn’t understand what she said, feeling her hand him two objects from her purse.

He looked at two things he was now holding in his hands, and his eyes widened when he looked back at Diana, his mouth fell open.

“When? How? I thought you are...,” Ethan started to speak, his heart thundering while the news slowly sank in and a feeling of warmth spread in his chest.

“I... I totally understand if you are not ready. We never discussed it after all. We even not been together for so long, so I totally understand, if you don't want to...,” she started to babble before he stopped her abruptly, by crushing his mouth on hers pouring in this kiss all the feelings, he had for the woman in his arms, leaving her breathless.

“Don’t think even for a second, that I will back out. Never. Actually, I wanted to...,” Ethan started to speak when Diana’s phone rang, and she apologetically took it out, seeing Beckett’s number on display.

“Sorry, I need to take this,” she said, kissing Ethan gently on the lips.

“Hey, how are...,” Diana started to speak, smiling until her smile faltered, and she furrowed her brows. “Wait... Beckett, calm down... Ori is in a hospital? Yes, I’ll get her stuff. Will be in an hour,” she said before ending the call.

By the time Diana stopped speaking, Oriana’s eyes filled with tears, and she rushed to hug Diana, wrapping her hands tightly around her pregnant friend.

“I’m so so so happy for you and Ethan,” she babbled, both girls sniffled together, attracting attention from men who were still standing in the kitchen area. Both instantly made their way back to the couch.

Beckett hugged his wife, kissing her forehead and watching how Ethan gently wrapped his arms around Diana, their eyes full of love. The same love he felt every day for his wife, the same he has seen reflected in her. And he was more than happy for Diana to finally get her happy ending.

They sat together celebrating the upcoming New Year, laughing quietly and sharing stories making both men blush from time to time. After some time, they heard a quiet cry coming from upstairs, and both young parents bolted up to their little princess. Muttering apologies on their way before disappearing, leaving Ethan and Diana alone.

“Want to come outside for a moment?” Ethan whispered to Diana before helping her to stand up, both leaving the house quietly.

His hands wrapped around her waist from behind, and he nuzzled her neck, breathing a crisp winter’s air together. They felt how the snow started to fall from the sky, the snowflakes fluttering around them, and they stood still enjoying the quietness of the night. After some time of silence, Ethan finally started to speak, turning Diana to face him. He cradled her face in his arms, gazing deep into her eyes, hoping that his and Beckett's plan, will work. He lowered his face, and his lips were just a whisper away, brushing Diana’s every time he spoke.

“Di, when I first met you, I never thought that it will lead us to where we are. That I will find in you everything I ever looked for. The day we met, I felt miserable, and I didn’t look for love. I looked for my pain to be taken away, but instead, I found more than I expected with you. I didn’t know that at this time, and it took me more than five years to figure this out. The time we woke up together for the first time, I knew we were meant to be. And that I’m not going to let you go. Not this time, not ever,” Ethan whispered, kissing Diana gently, her eyes becoming bigger with every word he spoke. Ethan’s eyes flickered to the tree in front of them, counting second for what to come. His heart pounding in his chest.

It was almost midnight, when Oriana and Beckett came back downstairs, Isabella babbling on his hands wrapped in multiple layers of blankets. The proud parents lovingly looking at their little girl, their hearts swelled with overwhelming love. Together they went to the window, watching at the snow slowly falling to the ground, noticing their friends standing outside.

“What are they doing? It’s probably cold, I’ll go call them in,” Oriana said, heading toward the door before Beckett quickly caught her hand.

“Give them some privacy,” he murmured, pulling her toward his chest, one arm wrapped around her, and with another holding their daughter.

Her eyes widened when she looked out the window once again. Gasping when she saw what happened next, looking at the tree lights sparkling to life. “Is he proposing?” she asked, her eyes meeting Beckett's.

“Yes, he does,” Beckett confirmed, kissing the top of Oriana’s head.

“Wait, did you know?” she asked, her eyes widened.

“Who do you think rigged the lights the right way?” Beckett smirked before quickly adding. “But only for a week! And I didn’t want to keep a secret, but...”

“Oh my God, this is why you were so literally obsessed with lighting that tree after Christmas?” Oriana squealed with delight, looking outside.

After Ethan spoke the last words, he gently turned Diana around to face the tree at exactly the same moment when it lit up, mentally thanking Beckett for what he has done. Her eyes widened, and she covered her mouth, her eyes welled up with tears, and she turned to face Ethan.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, her heart thundering, and she looked at Ethan standing on one knee, holding out a beautiful sparkling diamond ring from the white gold.

“Diana, will you marry me?” he asked, holding his breath. Watching how she frantically nodded her head, not able to say the words at first.

“Yes, yes...,” she finally breathed out. “Thousand times, yes,” she laughed, happy tears glistening in her eyes, while he slid the ring on her finger, kissed her hand, and stand next to her.

“I think this is our turn to go and join them,” Oriana chimed, lashing toward the door before Beckett could catch her.

“Coat,” he screamed after her, rolling his eyes with a smile, looking at his overly excited wife, taking her coat from the hanger, and handing it to her before she could leave the house. He clutched Isabella tighter to himself and wrapped his coat around both of them, protecting her from the crisp air.

In a moment, they joined their friends. Beckett shook Ethan’s hand, before crushing Diana in a tight but careful hug. Meantime, Oriana gave Ethan a warm embrace before rushing to Diana, pulling her in a bear hug.

“It’s almost a New Year,” Oriana squealed. “And we need to celebrate, I...” she started before Beckett interrupted her.

“Ori, do you really thought I didn't think about this and didn't prepare a bottle of the most expensive champagne to celebrate my friends’ engagement?”

“Beckett,” Oriana said, clearing her throat to cover the laugh that was bubbling from her. “Don’t you forgot that one of your friends, your best friend cannot drink as... she is pregnant?”

“Sh...,” Beckett mumbled, feeling how his cheeks flushed, stopping halfway when his eyes land on the fast asleep baby in his arms. “If someone would share with me her suspicions, we would have something alcohol free, and now we don’t. Sorry, Di.” Beckett said, smiling at her apologetically.

“What would have you done without me? Lucky for you, I have another bottle of sparkling grape juice, and we have a few minutes left, so I can get it before bells will ring and firework will go off,” Oriana said, running back in their kitchen.

“Beck, shouldn't we probably go inside so fireworks wouldn’t wake up Isa,” Diana asked worriedly, looking at the little girl in Beckett’s arms.

“You will be surprised when you will find out under which level of noise babies can sleep,” Beckett chuckled, looking at his wife, who finally emerged from their house with the bottle of juice just in time to join them.

The bells first rang as the first burst of fireworks lit up the night sky. The snow was still falling all around them as they raised their glasses for everything good to come in New Year; for their friendship, love, and families. Four hearts that finally found love.

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[meldelen]

Dragonlance’s Lost Chronicles I: Dragons of the Dwarven Depths - A rambling review

Cover art by Matt Stawicki depicting Tanis Half-Elven, Flint Fireforge and Tasslehoff Burrfoot, three of the main characters.

By now I should be rereading the second trilogy of the Dragonlance Tales, but I couldn’t resist and started with this trilogy of The Lost Chronicles which, to my eternal shame as Dragonlance fan, I didn’t even know it existed until a few months ago during confinement, when I decided to re-explore this beloved franchise of my teen years. The Lost Chronicles is a relatively recent trilogy - year 2006 - if we compare it with the first original trilogy, Dragonlance Chronicles (1984) that complete each other. Those who have read the Chronicles will remember that after finishing the first volume - Dragons of Autumn Twilight - in the second, Dragons of Winter Night, the authors made a temporary leap omitting part of the story - due to lack of time and creativity, they admitted at the time - in which the main characters’ group was recovering a sacred relic from the Dwarven nation of Thorbardin, The Hammer of Kharas, in exchange for providing protection and accommodation to refugees driven from Solace and enslaved by the Dragon Highord Verminaard. Well, precisely, this what the first volume of The Lost Chronicles is about, written no less than 20 years later, to complete this and other gaps in the original plot.

I have to say that on one hand I was excited to find this trilogy written to complete the original, and on the other hand, I was skeptical about it. Because writing decades later to complete something you had already done usually results in a grievance compared to the original work; it seems unlikely that something better will be done so long later; and unless you go with the lead feet, reread your original work VERY WELL and have a good publisher, it’s very likely to fall into contradictions and inconsistencies in the plot.

Well, nothing of that! This book is great! Not only have the authors recovered the original spirit of the Chronicles, but also - at the risk of being burned as heretic at the bonfire of fandom - they have improved it, and how! On the other hand it is logical, because writers are supposed to improve with time if they care for what they do, and let's not forget that Weis and Hickman are also the authors of that wonderful series called The Death Gate Cycle, which it is totally on another level. All that experience of years has been invested now and it shows.

How does it show? The pace of the plot, for example. The Chronicles, specially the first volume, had a very stressful rhythm - it was like climbing a roller coaster without harness - while Dragons of the Dwarven Depths has a sensible and constant pace, dosing the action and the dialogues in a balanced, fluid and consistent way. Secondly: it’s much better written than the original trilogy, both in terms of prose and setting. They take more time to describe the environments and the lore without becoming tedious, boring, or too hasty as sometimes happened in the original trilogy. Of course, the poems of Michael Williams are still horrible - or perhaps it is the translation that is horrible, I will give him the benefit of the doubt -; that issue seems to be doomed.

And finally I stop at what has always been, for me, the best of Dragonlance and the reason why I love it: the characterization. It has always been wonderful, and in this volume it shows. The Companions, very different in their origins, abilities and personality, have always fascinated me because they seem absolutely human and relatable, believable although many of them are not "humans" per se or have supernatural abilities, of course. They are supposed to be childhood friends and allies of their own free will in a world at war, but they actually malfunction as some kind of dysfunctional family, if I may allow redundancy. The mean-spirited and grumpy dwarf messes with everyone and scolds them all like a curmudgeonly grandfather, the others handle him making him believe that his decisions matter and his intervention is essential to them, the knight won’t stop annoying everyone with his ideals of honor and justice, lecturing them on what is right and good and cooperating rather little when it comes to making morally questionable decisions, the mage messes with everyone and everyone messes with the mage, who reacts like a furious snake because he’s aware that without him they would not make it to the corner alive, and in the absence of a real culprit, his fangs always end up stuck in his poor twin - an actual cinnamon roll, an example of the most tragic Stockholm syndrome -; the barbarians distrust everyone but they have no choice but to get along with them, the kender is, if possible, the most chaotic element of the group, whose burden and responsibility are passing each other as if they could really control him somehow; all of them led by a half-elf with remorse of conscience because he’s a disbelieving atheist who cannot even make up his own mind about if he feels elf, feels human, feels everything or feels nothing, and is not able to choose if he is in love with the elf girl or of the human girl, having enough work with babysitting this sociopathic group. Anyway. A delight for the senses.

Already experts in handling such a bunch of misfits, Weis and Hickman make you laugh hard at the interactions between them. In the Chronicles it wasn’t yet quite funny - especially if you hadn’t gotten used to Raistlin's mood, whom you’ve to swallow in little doses like a bitter medicine - but here, you’ve a great time! The knight annoying the mage, the mage messing with the knight, the two messing with the dwarf, the dwarf messing with everyone, the kender in the middle messing around... it seems incredible that these people saved the world, right? Well, they did! And even though they can’t totally get along, without a single one of them it would not have been possible. There, the greatness of the story.

I don't want to wind up much more. In this volume, the authors take the opportunity to correct other failures their original narrative had, such as devoting more attention to Riverwind, who plays a fantastic role as leader of the refugees - at the cost of casting a shadow over Goldmoon and therefore obtaining the inverse result of the original trilogy - and also, to pay a little more attention to poor Tika - the most human and perhaps most relatable of them all, although unfortunately she’s forgotten, like Goldmoon, halfway through the book - and above all, pay much more attention to Flint Fireforge, the dwarf, who’s really the main character of the book, and who finds himself faced with a moral dilemma: recover the sacred relic of the dwarves, the Hammer of Kharas, and hide it from his own people to take it to the Knights of Solamnia and therefore be used as an artifact to solve the war and give the world in danger of destruction a chance; or willingly return it to the dwarf nation and risk losing it to the cause.

5 stars. Great. Fantastic. It’s not boring for a single moment, there is no tedious, long or unnecessary part, the characters are genuinely themselves, the plot is better written and the style much improved. In short: it seems that time has not passed at all, or rather, it has passed, but for good. Highly recommended for Dragonlance fans and especially for those who are already familiar with the Chronicles. You will not regret it.

Geez, I need to shorten these reviews.

[mrneighbourlove]

The Rising Sun: Ch 5. Power Exchanged

"Oh thank the goddesses we're here."

"I thought we'd never hear the prattle end from your grandfather about his glory days."

"Give him a break, he's old and just wants to give an impression that he can still kick ass."

"Can he still kick ass?"

"I... think so? To a degree? If you're close enough to hit with his cane, perhaps."

"Or his farts, those are lethal."

“Oh, hush the lot of you.” Ganondorf, former King of Hyrule, had grown older with age. Man was just over a century of age. Even kept his build up over all the decades. Up until Zelda passed away. His wife’s death shook him to the core, and over the last few years since her passing, he lost muscle mass. No need to work out, but also a loss of spirit. Still, he held joy for his family: children, grandchildren, friends. And this day was one of the most joyous he’d ever have in a long time.

With all his children and grandchildren finally gathered, with their significant others, they were traveling to Taiyo Town in a large caravan.

"We would have been here sooner if you didn't have to stop to pee ten times."

"Shut it, you were the one that kept complaining about being hungry."

"I was hungry! What's wrong with being hungry?"

"Ganonpa," Luimaya sighed in annoyance, listening to her siblings and cousins’ bicker. "How did you do it with Dad and his siblings?"

“To be honest, it was your grand mother that was the level headed one. I often encouraged some healthy bickering. Was also easy to haul you all by the scruffs when you’ve been misbehaving. Also helped to have Rinku and Leere step in once in a while.” The Mortuus had a nice cloak to protect her skin from the sun. Sunny was letting little Joy play with Skyla. “Well that became difficult when all our younger siblings become rebellious giants.”

"Hmph, when you could catch us by the scruff, old man."

"Remember that time when we pranked him with the stink bomb with Skull Kid?"

"He chased us through the halls for hours before giving up."

"I told you it wasn't a good idea at the time."

"What do you mean, Lui? It was your idea."

"Yes, my idea, just not at that time. He was in a mood that day and we set it off."

"What are we even doing here, anyway? I thought the future queen couldn't leave the castle unless it was for diplomatic reasons."

"It is." Luimaya clarified. "I'm here to meet the leaders of Taiyo Town."

"But you're going to be the queen, and you're Gerudo. So, doesn't that make you their leader?"

Revan cleared his throat, sitting next to Nakeso and Luimaya. There were so many grandkids he’d barely known here now. Not to mention, he was finally about to enter the town his father put so much time and attention into. The whole feeling was daunting, but he did his best to relax. Heck, Kanisa’s kids didn’t even look like Gerudo. “Well, yes and no. All the tribes of Hyrule ha e either sworn fealty to the crown of Hyrule or formed alliances. So technically, my father and anyone else who’s in charge here could lead without outright obeying Covarog and later Luimaya.”

Luimaya and Ganondorf both shot Revan a glare at his words. Like grandfather, like granddaughter, it seemed. She definitely inherited his scowl. Evidently, the two of them agreed on the premise that the Gerudo of Taiyo Town should still hold some respect for the original King, his son, and granddaughter. "We don't want a repeat of the past, Revan. We're going to ensure it stays peaceful, but there has to be some grounds of respect." Luimaya told her bodyguard. "Your father or another leader, it matters not."

“I never suggested that.” Revan drew closer to Nakeso, freezing when his thigh touched hers. “And I’m sure my dad isn’t a fool. Just stubborn. Something I’ve heard and know you two can have in common.”

The cart laughed as Ganondorf merely smiled lightly in agreement. It wasn’t something he could deny.

"That's right, you're the fool and he's just stubborn." Luimaya teased, earning another round of snickers from everyone in the caravan. "You've nearly gotten yourself killed numerous times, not counting the times you were trying to watch my back."

"I don't know who is the worst, Revan or you."

"Revan." The grandkids all responded in unisons.

"He has more tallies." Nakeso held up a notebook. "Revan has nearly gotten killed 158 times while Luimaya is only at 37."

"What? Really? I thought she'd have more."

"She's reckless, but she's not stupid enough to put herself in situations to die."

"True."

"Hey! Your future queen is hearing all this!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know it's true."

Revan was bright red in the face. “It hasn’t even been a year since- Wait, how long have you kept that book around for?”

"Since you were five and almost stuck your head into a forge to prove you were fireproof like your sister." Nakeso remarked, earning a snort from Donoma. "I still can't believe you did that."

"He was just jealous that I could walk in fire without getting burned." Donoma giggled. "And pouted when I held fire in my hands like a ball. Insisted he could do it too. I don't think I've ever seen Mama scold him like that for an hour."

Revan was growing uncomfortable. Pretty much every grandchild was not only older than him, Ralnor’s children themselves being in their mid thirties to cap the height of age, but they were all together on his misery. Even Donoma seemed to be more suited with them. “Yeah. Sure.” When he saw Skyla looking at him, he sighed, secretly signing to her. “ Least I’m not afraid of spiders.”

"You in trouble. A lot." Skyla signed in return with a small smile. She was still shy, like she was when a tiny girl, but had opened up to her cousins and was flourishing in her studies to be a veterinarian. "But good fighter. Luimaya lucky to have you. Don't worry. Everyone loves you. Just tease you cause love you."

“Could fool me.”

“Hey ya’ll!” Rinku shouted from the front of the horse cart. “We’re here. You all behaving back there? Hate to turn this ride around~”

"Hey, if we're not behaving, it's only because we learned it from you." Covarog snickered.

Orana jested with him. "Yeah, you tell her."

“Well, you got me there.” They could hear the putter patter of her feet walking on the sand to the doors. Opening them, sunlight poured inside. “To those unaccustomed by desert heat, please apply sunscreen that’s been provided. This mostly applies to my gothic sister pale as a vampire and Kanisa’s one eyed, blue skinned, always a pleasurable attitude husband and my adorable nephew and niece from Uskar. My sister in law Sunny has provided sun hats for those who prefer them.”

"Is your sister always this cheery?" Vidar grumbled in Uskarian to Kanisa. He absolutely loathed the desert and the heat. The poor man looked miserable. "I don't see how it's possible with all this sand and sun."

"Just deal with it a little while longer please, love." Kanisa assured her husband. "We'll be back in Uskar soon enough."

"If I don't melt first."

Leere addressed Skyla and Joy together with Tebanem. “Since you’re both the youngest, I’d like you both to stay together at all times. Stay within eyeshot of an adult.”

"Hey! I'm not a kid." Tebanam huffed. "I'm an adult!"

"She means Skyla and Joy, Teb." Faris clarified, amused, to his husband. "She doesn't want them wandering off."

"Oh."

The shit eating grin on Leere’s face filled up until she couldn’t help but keel over in laughter. “If you need the advice of the oldest siblings, talk to me or Luimaya, Tebby. I’m sure Kanny will love to be your pair buddy~”

"Oh shut it, I knew what you meant, I was just joking." Tebanam refused to look her in the eye, crossing his arms.

Once all the others had stepped outside, Ganondorf made his way out of the cart. It had been too long since he breathed desert air and tasted life upon the winds. With light robes he turned to the massive walls of the town. Was like a fortress. “Impressive.” The gates opened as Revan and Donoma handed out passes to the men that their father had given them in advance. What awaited inside amazed the old king. Gerudo of all shapes and sizes interacting as a community. Everyone of them shouted out one big greeting when they saw the family gathering. “VASAAQ!!! SAV’AAQ!!!”

Revan himself blinked, surprised by how many red headed women there were. He looked at his sister surprised. “You’ve been coming here?”

"Yeah, what of it?" Donoma was taken aback by her brother's surprise. "I've learned a lot about our history. Mama taught me all I needed to know of what we had of Lorleidian history. Dad taught us what he knew of Gerudo history, but there's only so much he can teach. The rest of it needs to be experienced. Besides," She waved at a few of her friends. "I've made a lot of progress in my studies and I have friends here. It's nice to have a second home."

“Must be nice.” Revan couldn’t help but let his bitterness out. Was he not Gerudo enough to belong here? The man of the hour appeared. Malik opted for stylized, yet comfortable robes. Beside him, Gali was wearing a nice Vai dress. The Lord of Taiyo Town smiled to Zarazu before addressing the group as a whole. “My extended family, and royal family of Hyrule. I am honoured that you can finally see the hard work all of our generations have worked towards. The Gerudo people prosperous once again. I welcome you to Taiyo town.”

Each family member extended their greeting politely before the King spoke. "I am impressed by the amount of work here, and absolutely delighted that we finally are able to see the restoration of our people." Covarog then noted Gali. "Please let me to express my thanks in allowing Lord Malik to help you oversee the construction of Taiyo Town. May I present my wife, Queen Zarazu of the Lorleidians," He gestured to his lover. "And my children. Marena and Syrena are the youngest twins, then Zahirog, then Turagor and Luimaya are my eldest. My Luimaya is next in line to rule our kingdom."

Gali bowed her head politely to Luimaya. “It is a privilege to learn the next high Queen will be a Gerudo Woman on the throne. Strong, and fiery from what Donoma has told me in her studies. You will make a remarkable queen, I’m sure. We encourage you to explore Taiyo Town on your own. We want to be an organic experience for all of you.”

"It is a privilege to be here in your town, to learn more of my history and to walk with the fierce warriors that I have read so much about in books. I feel like this is something out of a fairy tale, even though I know it's simply history." Luimaya returned a respectful nod of her head to Gali. "I ask that you teach me, my siblings, and cousins all that you know and anything you wish for us to learn; whether it be ways of combat or simple knowledge." Then the future queen gestured to Skyla. "I ask you have patience with my family, but especially my cousin, Skyla. She is deaf and reads lips. I don't suppose any of you know sign? She can write in Gerudo, but that takes a time." "Hi!" Skyla signed to Gali with a bright smile. "I do read lips, but accents make lips move odd. Please talk slowly for me." Luimaya then translated, "She is greeting you and asking for you and the other members of the town to speak slower for her, to give her time to read your lips."

Gali nodded, addressing the town in Gerudo to look out for the little one. Turning to Skyla, she got on a knee to kneel down to her and speak in Sign. “Hello Skyla. I am Gali. I think I’ve met you and your father’s people on my travels before. Hard to forget a tribe as pretty as you.”

"You tall lady." Skyla motioned to the women surrounding Gali. "All tall. Garai women like me, not so tall. Sister tribe, you come visit sometime." She then stomped the sand with her foot and made a sailing wave with her arm. "Ride Sand Rays! Learn of Gerudo now. You learn of Garai too. Too much time pass without sister tribe. Sand here. Stone there. Much to know." "Skyla, don't sign so fast, she might not get it all." Tebanam hopped down from his camel, Loogie, and signed to his daughter. "They go slow for you, you go slow for them. Not too fast." Skyla blushed and sheepishly signed, "Sorry. Excited!"

"That's more than fine Skyla. We'll get to learning about each others culture very quickly." Gali patted Skyla on the shoulder as she stood up. "We have tour guides in green patched shoulders who'd love to take you around our markets, bars, training grounds, schools, saunas, spas, and the rest of the joyous spots in Taiyo Town. If you'd like to explore on your own that's fine too. I hope you all enjoy the joys Taiyo Town can bring!"

Ganondorf was lost in thought as he looked around the town. While Gali was addressing the crowd, he watched small Gerudo children kick a ball back and forth. A woman was beating an old styled blanket he used to wrap himself in previous lives from her balcony. And there was a Hylian in the background laughing with a Gerudo. A union he had been working hard since with his wife to normalized. A view he knew his cousin had struggled to come to grips with. Yet here they were.

~

Donoma was struggling to pull her brother through the throng of women. This was a headache. She kept politely asking for the ladies to step aside, but they were more interested in talking to Revan. "Girls... girls, for fuck's sake!!!" Donoma shouted over the crowd. "You can feel his pecs later, we're going to see my mom now."

“Come on Donoma! This is the virgin brother you have! Can’t we just, you know, kiss him. For homework purposes?” Her roommate asked in a little sexy voice for her brother.

Revan wasn’t expecting so many of the girls around Donoma’s age to be so horny. This wasn’t the type of attention he wanted. “I have someone else...”

"No. At least, not now. Later." Donoma yanked Revan into the tent that her mother and father shared. Finally, maybe the crowd would go away. "Damn vultures, I swear..."

"Revan!" Asakonigei was on bed rest, currently trying her hand at knitting and failing miserably. Although, her face lit up when she saw her son and daughter. "Donoma! I'm so happy you're both here!"

“Mom!” Revan ran forward, hugging her close. “Are you ok? I can’t believe Dad got you pregnant again.”

"I'm fine, Revan, just a little uncomfortable with all this extra weight." Asakonigei hugged her son tightly. "We were not exactly planning this, but nonetheless, it happened. I've been very well cared for while I've been here."

"Do you know what the baby is now?" Donoma asked her mother. "I've been wanting to know for so long!"

"Yes, actually, I do know the baby is going to be." Asakonigei smiled widely. "You're both going to have a little brother."

"Queen Zarazu birthed three Gerudo boys and now, I suppose I'm lucky to have a second one." Asakonigei then added. "Though your father and I have been at odds about a name."

“You have?” Revan sat beside her, wanting to not leave her side. Been months since he saw his mother.

"Get a load of this," Donoma plopped onto the bed, opposite to Revan, their mother in the middle. "Dad says he wants another Gerudo name, but Mom is insisting on a combination between Gerudo and Lorleidian since my name is Lorleidian and yours is Gerudo."

"It's only fair." Asakonigei defended her point. "I doubt I'm having another baby, so half it, right?"

“Well knowing father, he most likely doesn’t want a Frankenstein name put together.”

"It's not that bad, I don't think." Donoma shrugged her shoulders. "Mufratir is all right, isn't it?" Asakonigei asked her son.

Revan couldn’t hide his displeasure at the name as his face contorted at the corners. “Keep it simple?”

"Or she could go all out like Zarazu and Covarog did with Zahirog and name the kid Malikonigei." Donoma snorted.

"Oh, hush you!" Asakonigei gently shoved at Donoma's shoulder.

“Could call him Dad’s first name?” Revan pondered on the possibilities.

"One Malik in the world is enough, the world has enough stubbornness." Asakonigei laughed.

"The world didn't need even more with Revan, what have you done, Mom?"

"Your brother is not that bad."

"He went into a match without magic."

"That's just his ego."

“Excuse me?!” The comment of the world not needing him stung Revan to his core. “I’m sorry I tried to prove that I had value in the skills I crafted for myself. I’m sorry I’m not daddies favourite child!”

"Oh, stop being a brat." Donoma snapped at Revan. "You know that's not what I meant. I implied the world doesn't need more of your 'I'm-undefeatable' attitude." She then scoffed and said, "Favorite? Dad doesn't choose favorites, but if you really believe that's true, it's only because I actually listen and behave."

"Hush, you two, stop fighting." Asakonigei scolded both of her children. "I shall not have you two fighting in front of me or your father. He has enough to worry about as it is."

“Oh you know what, fuck dad too. Too important with all of this to give a damn about me.” Revan gestured all around the village with wide arms. “Skipping dinners, celebrations, and ceremonies to be here. Except while I’m stuck out busting my ass, he chooses you to live here with him. You’re probably aware he’s never once invited me here.”

"He didn't choose me to live with him here, you dumbass! I'm a woman, for starters, and at least I look Gerudo!!!" Donoma spat back at Revan. "He's trying his best to rebuild some semblance of what our ancestors lost! If you're so upset about not receiving a personal invitation, it's not Dad's fault! The Gerudo women here don't trust men! The only reason they trust Dad is because he is Gerudo!"

"ENOUGH!!!" Asakonigei shouted so loud that Revan's ears and Donoma's rang something fierce. "If the both of you are going to squabble like children, then you can do so elsewhere! I do not need the stress of seeing you two fight and neither does your little sibling! Out! Right now!"

"But Mom---"

"I said, OUT!!!"

“You hit the nail exactly on the head. In his eyes I’m not Gerudo. And if I am, I’ll only carry the worst aspects. So how about you go crawl back to your sisterhood like the good little girl you are.” Revan looked to his mom, daring to glare at her something fierce. “A baby will kill you. Why would you risk putting us through something like that?”

"At least I don't follow around a girl who doesn't love me!" Donoma shot back. "Luimaya will never like you in that aspect and you think being her bodyguard will make her view you as some romantic hero? You're an ass." With that, Donoma tromped out of the tent.

Asakonigei gave Revan a hard stare. "I had complications with you, I lost too much blood with Donoma, and yet, both of you are still here and alive." Asakonigei said very sternly. "Your father and I didn't plan this. I did not even think I could get pregnant again with the trauma my body suffered. Yet, this baby is growing within me and will need you and your sister. I would gladly die for you and Donoma, and this baby. It's part of me and part of your father, and will be your sibling. Don't you dare patronize me, son."

“Is this because you want to give father his large family. You really think it’ll be fair to the baby to grow up in a world without a mother?” Revan sat down next to her, disbelief wrapped around his face. “You think that’s fair to me and Donoma to lose you for another one of father’s grand dreams? Honestly, are you even thinking properly here?”

"No, I don't think it's fair. Not for me, not for you, not for your sister or father, and certainly not the baby." Asakonigei stated as her son sat beside of her. "As I said previously, your father nor I planned this. It simply happened. And I am thinking very clearly. I am a mother. You will not be able to understand until you have children of your own, Revan. I want this baby to be born surrounded by love regardless of what happens to me. I may or may not survive... but at least this time, I will have more help."

“How? What makes you believe that? Your body will kill you. Dr. Bovier made that perfectly clear.”

"Yes, Doctor Boveir did. Yet, these women believe differently. So now, the only thing I have left is faith."

“Faith? Are you out of your mind?” Revan sneered at the very thought. “We should just get on our hands and knees and pray? Or perhaps we should get some shaman to throw flowers on top of you.”

"Don't. Patronize. Me." Asakonigei yanked her son forward by the collar of his armor. She was pregnant, but still strong enough to get Revan's attention. "I prayed to Kovina for you. You are here. If you are going to be like this, then you can leave. I will not have your attitude around myself or your new sibling-to-be when the time comes. Either you can support me, or go. What is it going to be?"

“I’ll leave when her royal highness deems it ready to go.” He held her hand, his fingers gentle, yet firm on her. His eyes were angry, but his lips trembled small hesitation. “I don’t want Klinge’s ego to take you away from me.”

"... you know I'll fight the Goddess of Death to stay here with you." Asakonigei held the side of his face with a small sigh. "If you don't have faith in the deities, at least have faith in me. Your mother is a tough old woman."

Revan’s eyes were heavy as he slowly nodded in agreement. “Alright...” Careful to not hurt her, he hugged his mother closely. “I don’t trust Father to look after you. So you have to be strong enough to look after yourself.”

As Revan hugged her, Asakonigei slowly stroked the back of his hair, trying her best to soothe him. "I have a lot of women here ready to help me. I'll have help, Revan. And if you decide to stay for a little while, then you can help me too."

Revan choose to ignore that last part. “I hope they can help you...”

~

The first day of the royal family visit was going smoothly. Malik was incredibly proud of his people. Seeing Luimaya, he waved the girl and her siblings over. “Young princess. Princes and princess’. How are you this afternoon?”

Luimaya had been exploring the town with her siblings and cousins. All of them were currently enjoying a recipe of the Gerudo heritage. Poor Turagor was coughing from the spiciness, the younger twins barely batted an eye, and Zahirog merely nibbled on his, trying to save face. "This is... a different experience for sure. It's not exactly what I've read in books." Zahirog admitted to Malik.

"I guess history left out a few parts." Turagor said in-between sputters from the spicy chicken leg.

"I really enjoyed seeing such beautiful custom clothes!" Marena smiled.

"And hearing the music!" Syrena added.

Luimaya stayed silent for a while, thinking. "Though... Ganonpa won't stay here to lead them." She then asked. "So I suppose Gail is going to?"

“Ganondorf is too old to lead. The man has lived long enough for this lifetime to be a ruler. Gali certainly makes a qualified Chieftain in my absence.”

The siblings exchanged glances.

"... you?" Zahirog appeared to be confused. "You're a man. I thought the Gerudo wanted a female leader like Nabooru in the old days?"

“There have been Kings and Queens in our past too.”

"Yeah, though Zahi and Turagor needed a pass just to come in here." Marena noted. "So... it's safe to assume they're not too trusting of men." Syrena pointed out to her uncle.

"I know Mom and Dad will probably want to talk to them about keeping good ties with Hyrule." Luimaya told Malik. "I know Dad is King and a descendant of Ganondorf, so surely there will be peace from here on out."

“That’s something we are working out. I just don’t want these people to be taken advantage of.” Malik smiled softly, speaking gently to them all. “Just how I didn’t want your father, uncles, aunts and all of you taken advantage. History can sometimes be tricky and like to repeat itself.”

"Do you think they'll allow Lorleidians here too? Maybe some Hylian civilians?" Luimaya inquired. "For trading purposes?"

“Yes. It’s what I want. It’s what we are already trying to integrate. Look closely, and you’ll be able to spot one or two amongst the town even now.”

"As long as there is prosperity and peace, that's what matters the most." Luimaya stated.

"Though, I really wish you wouldn't stay here."

"Yeah, the castle would fall apart without you." Turagor remarked as he chugged down some water, trying to wash away some of the spiciness of the chicken. "I mean, you did keep our aunts and uncles from arguing all the time. Sort of."

"I think what he's trying to say is you're a peacemaker and we don't want anymore food fight incidents between Uncle Corsaire and his crew against the Hylian guards." Zahirog blanched. "I was pulling noodles out of my hair for weeks."

“Children...” Malik tried to sound soft to counteract how tired he was of this particular conversation. “I’ve been a peacemaker before your parents were even born. If you still need to rely on my guidance, I fear for the stability of Hyrule.”

"What they're trying to say is, they're going to miss you if you stay here." Marena clarified.

"Yeah. It would suck, cause we wouldn't get to see you as often." Syrena added to her twin's statement.

“Your Aunt Kanisa lives a whole ocean away. I’m still less then a days travel away. Besides, distance makes the heart grow fonder.” He gently patted Syrena on the shoulder.

"Yeah, but at least she has a dragon to bring her here to see us." Syrena sulked slightly. "If you move away, you might not come back cause Uncle Ralnor annoys you."

"We all know that Uncle Ralnor can annoy anyone with his 'proper-ness'." Marena snickered. "I hold my pinky finger out when I sip tea, look at me, I'm so proper." The siblings did exchange giggles at that mentioning.

“What? You can’t travel here to see me?”

"We can but who knows when we'll be able to." Luimaya admitted with a heavy sigh. "Come on, Uncle Malik. Even Mom and Dad don't get out of the palace that much. You know that."

"And when Lui becomes queen, it will be harder for to do so." Turagor frowned slightly. "Maybe for us if we have to stay at home too."

"At least we have each other." Zahirog noted. "That's what counts."

"But on a lighter note, Mama told us that Aunt Asa is pregnant again." Marena smiled. "What are you going to name the baby?"

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Syrena asked.

“I don’t know yet.” Malik didn’t want to know, least, not quite yet. Sighing, he figured out how to approach their worries. “The same way home will keep you busy in central Hyrule, my home here will keep me busy. This is simply part of life though children.”

"We know." Zahirog shrugged, holding his siblings together with his arms around their shoulders. "Though you better find the time to visit if we do."

“I-“ Malik saw Ganondorf from afar. The man held an expression of light urgency, waving the Lord with the wrist of a hand. “If you will excuse me children.”

Reaching Ganondorf’s side, Malik still felt slightly humbled in his presence. “Is something the matter?”

“No. Not at all. However, there is something of great importance I wish to discuss with you.”

“I understand.”

“I think privately will be best.”

Privately? This intrigued Malik. “Very well. Inside the eyes of the goddess statue then?” Ganondorf looked to the edge of the town where a giant woman of stone observed the town.

“You can go inside?”

“Yes. I made it a place of pray and to chronicle our people.”

“How spiritual of you. Let’s not waste time. Still a night of celebration to share.” The two Gerudo men reminisced on their shared past as they made their way to the temple. Inside, Ganondorf and Malik took their seat in front of a mural of great Gerudo’s past. “Cousin, don’t think me rude, but I invited two others.”

"I swear, if Malik wanted me to drag my ass in here for another stupid test of his, I'mma choke him. Getting too old for that."

"Now, now, Rinku, I'm sure he just wants to talk without a ton of eyes upon us."

"I'm serious, I'm so over these tests of his, Zarazu! At least he learned his lesson with you."

"How so?"

"... you took the man's arm; he should be grateful you didn't take his dick." Rinku and Zarazu had no idea that the words in the temple could... echo.

Ganondorf turned to daughter as she made herself visible with Zarazu. “Colourful vocabulary.” Malik was surprised to see Zarazu and Rinku together. “I didn’t expect you both to be here.”

"You invited us?" Zarazu held a tone of questioning to her voice. "Unless I misunderstood, you wanted to meet with the holders of the Tri-Force?"

"Hey, I've heard worse from you, Ganondad." Rinku pointed a finger at Ganondorf.

“I did.”

“What is this all about?” Malik stiffened, uncertainty filling his being. His words said otherwise, but deep down his heart knew why they were all gathered now.

Ganondorf changed his gaze over to Malik, a deep and heavy look falling on him. “We are here to talk about The Triforce of Power’s new owner.”

Silence was cast over the room, and a shocking realization hit Malik now it was in the open air. “Me?”

"...?! WHAT?!" Rinku shook her head. "Wait, I thought Covarog was supposed to get the Tri-Force? He's next in line, no offense, Malik."

"I am... surprised myself." Zarazu stated slowly, not expecting this. "Might I ask why?"

“Rinku...” Ganondorf waiter until his eldest daughter was a little calmer before continuing. “Every child of mine, with the exception of you, carries a seed of darkness that I share. I fear the Triforce might corrupt them as it corrupted me.”

"Corrupt them?!" Rinku took offense to that. "All your kids are the best of you and Mom. Do you truly think that if you give the Tri-Force to Covarog that he'll turn dark?" She then said, "If you don't want to trust Covarog with it, then give it to Ralnor. Hell, give it to Orana or Kanisa, even Teb! They're not going to be corrupted! None of them are part of this curse that you, Mom, and I have repeated!"

“No. They both struggle with darkness in their choices. And I won’t expose Orana, Kanisa, or Tebanem to temptation of abuse. I need someone who’s motives are incorruptible. That knows the weight of true magic and power.”

"You have so little faith in them! Look at how much they all have overcome!" Rinku frowned and gestured to Zarazu. "They're married. They have families. They're happy! And not once ounce of lust for power within them! And you think Malik is the one? Good goddesses, look at what you both have done in the past!" Rinku exclaimed. "Look at how much bloodshed both of you have on your hands! He's a carbon copy of you, Ganondorf! This is not a good idea!"

“Have we not redeemed ourselves? Has he not suffered enough under my hands as much as any of my other past victims? He rose from being my tool to regaining his humanity.” Ganondorf sent a penetrating look at his daughter. “What’s more, he has never broken my trust. Even in the deepest depths of depravity he was always honest with his intentions.”

"Yeah, he regained his humanity, but not due to you." Rinku remarked with a glare of her own. "Due to her," She motioned to Zarazu, and then added, "And his wife. What do you think will happen if they're no longer around to keep him in check? Do you want me to have to strike him down like I had to do you in our past lives if he loses control?"

“I regained it due to me wanting my humanity back. I worked hard for it. I earned it.” Malik was about done with the hero talking down on him. “You speak as though you aren’t without blood on your hands. So many of your past lives ended entire bloodlines due and the ramifications can still be felt today. We keep each other in check. I was kept around to keep you in check since you were a child. So don’t patronize me.”

"I know I have blood on my hands and I regret my actions. Yet, I've never been influenced by power. That's your lot. You still seek it today, and you're blind to it." Rinku shook her head. "I don't agree with this. When Chaos comes, he'll use it against you to turn you to his side and you'll end up fighting with Luimaya instead of with her. I'm out of here." The heroine tromped out of the cave, steaming. Zarazu, on the other hand, had remained silent the entire time. Thinking.

Malik couldn’t help but laugh at the old Princess. Even now, she still had a young spirit. “You’re going down to a dead end.”

As she stomped around, Ganondorf was less amused. “Rinku. You aren’t being fair here. As Zelda trusted Zarazu, I trust Malik. Please... sit.” The old king was also tired. He didn’t want to argue this point.

Rinku was done with this conversation and refused to be a part of it further. She turned around, found another tunnel, and exited the cave to prove her point and kept walking.

"Maybe we should give her some space to think as well." Zarazu suggested, trying to keep Rinku and Ganondorf from arguing again as her sister-in-law left the temple.

“She’ll have to accept it.” With Rinku gone, Ganondorf sighed. “She’s in the dark, but I know you’re no fool to Ralnor’s darker actions in protecting Hyrule, even now. And for my eldest, I wasn’t completely sure until I heard Malik show Zannah respect where Covarog couldn’t let go of it his hatred of the Hasai. That is ultimately why I choose Malik over your husband Zarazu. Malik has shed his hate.”

Malik looked softly at Zarazu, wondering what she was thinking. “Rupee for your thoughts?”

"I can understand Rinku's view and your view, because I'm trying to be fair from a standpoint." Zarazu admitted to the men. "I'm well aware that my husband has flaws. Everyone does, we're human. However, I do think you should tell Covarog why he is not getting the Tri-Force of power. I won't lie, I'm sure it will hurt him. He has been looking forward to succeeding you in being a carrier because he wants to make you proud." She then continued, "Though, if Malik has the Tri-Force, I know you trust him and I know that he has more respect for the Hasai than my husband. I cannot help but wonder if you too will be immune to the temptation of power, my oldest friend." The queen was wise, for sure, though still cautious. "Many times in history, power has corrupted... are you sure that it's temptation will not affect you like it has Ganondorf?"

“I don’t know for sure. That’s why I want my friends and family to keep me honest. To use a seat and source of power for the betterment of all people.” Malik glanced over to Ganondorf, a sudden frown on his face. “If you give me your greatest source of power, you will lose your immortality. You might not live for long.”

“Who wants to live forever? No. Not me. As for Covarog, he knows how plenty proud I am of him.”

Finally, Ganondorf stood up from his bench. “Zarazu. I want your support on this. Do you think Malik is a good man? Do you think he can wield power in the name of peace?”

"... I do believe Malik is a good man. I do believe he sincerely wants the best for our people, for the Gerudo as well. Though, as said previously, there is always temptation." Zarazu looked at her own hand. There she saw the slight glow of the Tri-Force piece of Wisdom, reminding her there were always two sides to every tale. Those years ago before Zelda's death, she entrusted the Lorleidian queen with the Tri-Force of Wisdom. She did not want her daughters to carry the burden and trusted Zarazu to keep it safe. "Though we are only human, Ganondorf. Sometimes, even I feel the slight pull of the Tri-Force, calling me to use it. To dip into that magical essence that is so pure and addictive, that I have to be careful. I resist it for the sake of my family, my friends, and my kingdom." She held up her fingers glowing with magic. "If you want my support, and my utmost trust... then I must ask that we form a bind. This way, no matter where these pieces may end up... we will not let them fight against one another again." The queen then stated. "We'll revoke this curse."

“I can agree to that. If the pieces of the Triforce, ever, ever need to come together, then it will be for a wish of healing to the people.” Malik’s breath didn’t hitch as he reached a hand out to Zarazu to shake on this sacred pact.

"Not to destroy, but for peace." Zarazu took Malik's hand. "No longer destruction, but healing."

“For love, not hatred.”

"Agreed." Zarazu used her magic to implement the contract of the binding. A ring of runes in the Lorleidian language formed on her wrist and Malik's, identical in nature. "And if we break it... we die."

Malik nodded. When finished, he seemed almost somber when he spoke. Perhaps now was the time to tell his friend. “You should know that I’m not coming back to Hyrule. This is my home. With my people. They want to elect me to the position of Gerudo King. The sworn guardian. I’ve waited to be here again since I was a boy.”

"... I know." Zarazu simply replied to her friend. "I want you to be happy. Though I must be blunt with my next question." She took a small breath and said, "When the time comes... you will still remain loyal to my daughter?"

“I will be a friend that she can rely on.”

"She will need you." Zarazu actually looked... concerned. "As much as that snake gives me the creeps, I cannot deny his magic or his status. He said it will be soon... and I am worried."

“The Triforce bearers and the sages will need to protect the world.” Ganondorf stretched out, taking a deep breath. “Are you both prepared for that?”

"I am prepared for that. I am ready to give my life if it means my family will be safe." Zarazu clasped her hands together, her gaze downcast. "I am not ready to... to sacrifice my daughter. If what Bonegrinder says is true, and... his prophecy is correct..." It was hard for her to speak the words. "I've seen what has happened to Bonegrinder's mind. It is warped. He shares two souls in one body. He is a host for a deity and no longer his original self... if that happens to my Luimaya..."

“Bonegrinder is a freak. I won’t let him or anyone else hurt your daughter Zarazu.”

"... I trust you." Zarazu sighed, still thinking of what the future could hold. "I do think you need to check on Asa, Malik. From what Nakeso overheard when she went to take your wife some food from Gail, Revan and Donoma were... disagreeing."

“It is.” Ganondorf took a few sound breaths. Opening his right palm, a feint and soft glow emerged as a small golden triangle appeared. There was no celebration of grand ceremony behind it. The earth didn’t shake, and the sky didn’t change colour. It simply appeared. Ganondorf gently handed it to Malik to hold with both hands. “Take it.”

Zarazu simply waited in slight apprehension. She did not know what would occur once Malik took the piece.

Ganondorf stepped back as his cousin held the Triforce. Malik didn’t expect it to feel so warm, like a campfire. But with a squeeze of his right fist around it, he felt his heart light in a blaze of might. The Triforce connected to him physically, mentally, and spiritually. His breath felt freer, and he felt more alive then ever. One his palm, the triangle of the Triforce emerged from nothing, looking like tattoo. The top triangle lightly glowed, signifying the merger was a success. Malik, son of the desert and blade of the Gerudo, was now the weirder of Power.

"... Malik?" Zarazu finally spoke. "Are you all right?"

"I can relate." Zarazu took a slow inhale. It seemed he was still himself... for now. Maybe the fail-safe spell was keeping everything in check. Maybe Rinku was wrong and Malik would not be corrupted. Yet, personally, though she might not admit it, Zarazu was not willing to take that chance when it came to her daughter. If he tried to use it for evil... no, it was best not to think about it.

Malik took a few moments to self reflect. With the Triforce, he felt connected to life and magic on a deeper level in a near instant. To be truthful, it suddenly became overbearing. “I think I need to sit down.”

Zarazu formed a chair of ice for him to sit upon in the cave. "... the magic is overwhelming for a new holder." The queen then offered. "I can help you channel it for a bit to get you used to it."

“Give me a moment. I just need to adjust.”

"Close your eyes and try to imagine the flow of the magic." Zarazu instructed Malik, trying to make it easier for him. "You feel it within you, within your surroundings, and others... let it talk to you."

“Cousin, imagine the Triforce as a heart within you. It beats within you as a generator of life and magic. Ease into it. Should be similar to the magic you know.”

Malik nodded, feeling deep within and focusing on himself. Over the course of five minutes the man finally felt he had control over the new weight of his soul. “I’ll be fine now.”

"All right... let's just walk slow then. We'll need to help Ganondorf."

Malik took another breath, looking down at the yellow triangle burned upon his hand. He knew in his heart of hearts this was the key to bringing glory to the Gerudo and all of Hyrule.  

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/622576982282141697/the-rising-sun-ch-4-uncertain-future

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/622772431507062784/the-rising-sun-ch-6-like-father-like-son

Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 15

Hello! Please enjoy my latest 10 tips of my #10tips witch tip series. Follow for more witchy content!

1. Bond with your plants

This might be a plant heavy post because it's officially winter and while that's my favorite time of year, I'm beginning to get planting fever with the idea of all the plants I'm going to get to see this spring. Anyways, bonding with your plants is essential. Play them some music, spritz them with some water, and have a nice little chat. Plants love conversation. They're alive and they're ready for some social interaction.

2. While the long, skinny candles are a classic, you can use any type for magick

You don't have to buy your candles from a meta shop or only get the finger sized candles for spells. If you want to use a thicc 3 wick candle that smells like cranberry sauce and oranges then YOU DO IT. Bonus tip: After the holidays is the perfect time to stockpile yummy candles for half off!

3. Set up your altar with purpose

I see a lot of people just using altars as a means to display all of their pretty things. And that's totally fine on its own, but an altar should have a higher purpose. There's a magickal science to where you place the elements and how you set it up. By all means, take as much creative liberty as you can and make it special and beautiful to you. Just make sure it's serving its purpose as best as it can.

4. Get some page tabs for your grimoire.

I can't believe how long it took me to do this. Page tabs are these delightful little colored pieces of plastic that you stick to either side of a piece of paper. You can then slide other pieces of paper inside them that have labels, such as "spells" or "sabbats." These help with organizing your grimoire and making it easier to find what you're looking for in it. I got a pack of 16 for $1 at dollar tree. 10/10 highly recommend.

5. Pull one tarot card at the beginning of every week.

Tarot can be used for more than just tarot spreads. Here is one of many other things you can do with a tarot deck. At the beginning of each week, shuffle the cards and focus on the week ahead. What are you doing this week? Any plans? Work schedule? Think about the week as a whole and all of your plans as you shuffle. Then, pull one card. This card will represent the energy of the week. It may be a warning or some motivation. Write it down in your grimoire. You can even dedicate a whole page to your weekly draws and then compare them each month and look for patterns.

6. Check to see if your crystals are safe in the sun

I've mentioned the importance of checking if a crystal is water-safe before, but sun-safe is also a thing! Not quite as dangerous as accidentally poisoning yourself but still sad if it happens, some crystals can get faded by sunlight. This is important to take note of if you live somewhere sunny and plan on leaving your crystals on the windowsill overnight (they may be damaged by sunlight if you wake up later in the day) or if you plan on putting crystals in the windowsill all year around, regardless of where you live. Double check and make sure your little crystal friends will be happy.

7. Change your black salt often

Black salt absorbs negative energy. If you're planning on leaving some out in a dish to absorb the energy, remember to change it out every once in awhile. Maybe if someone unpleasant was in your home for awhile, you'll need to change the salt as soon as they leave. Or if your home is fairly peaceful, change it about once a week. I'd suggest changing it each time you do ritualistic cleansing, but if that's a more infrequent thing for you, change it whenever you feel so inspired to.

8. Some uses for garlic

Garlic is not only delicious, but it's also quite useful in a magickal sense as well! Place some around your house to banish evil spirits. Eat some to cleanse your own spirit. Use it in a banishing spell. Cook with it and invite me to dinner. (Sorry, I shouldn't write these when I'm hungry)

9. It's okay if people are uncomfortable with witchcraft

Not everyone is going to be accepting when they find out you're a witch. This can be super shitty, but it's not the end of the world. You most likely won't get anything but judgemental eyes and misinformed comments. That being said, it's up to you who you tell. I prefer to get to know people first before I'm more open about it. And even then, I keep it casual. It's okay if you tell people and it's okay if you keep it entirely to yourself. You shouldn't feel pressured to tell everyone. It's alright either way.

10. Rock shops are not the same as metaphysical shops but they could be even better.

There's a lot of misconceptions about buying witchy supplies. Some people think that the only place to buy crystals is at a proper metaphysical or new age shop where they're all labeled based on different properties and uses and all that. But actually, rock shops can be just as good, if not better! Rock shops are far less likely to lie to you about a crystals authenticity and value. The people in there may not be able to tell you the uses a rock has in witchcraft, but if you bring a phone with you, they're not going to stop you from googling it. So give it a try, I've actually gotten free crystals at rock shops before because I bought a bunch and the guy wanted to give me a little bonus. They're good people, good rock loving humans.

Thank you so much for reading my latest #10tips and be sure to send me an ask if you ever want to chat or have questions or anything else. Have a magical day!

[atekasey]

My Top 5 Games of 2019

As I like to do every year, here’s some collected ramblings about my opinions of some games I played and really liked this year. While there were a lot more than 5 games that I enjoyed this year, I only had strong opinions about these 5. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on my top 5 games of the year of our lord 2019.

DISCO ELYSIUM

Full disclosure: I have not finished Disco Elysium; I am about three quarters of the way through the 3rd day. Regardless, I loved so much of what little I played that I consider it one of the best games of the year, based solely on the world-building and characterizations I’ve encountered so far.

Disco Elysium is an adventure game/RPG where the only stats you build up are personality stats and thought processes, which affects how you talk to people and interact with the environment. The main plot is about you playing as an amnesiac cop tasked with solving a murder at the centre of a labour dispute, but to be honest I couldn't really care less about the main plot. Not to say the plot is bad per se, it just didn't grab me like how the setting and individual characterizations did. The main plot was nothing more than a vehicle for me to explore and find out more about Revachol, its residents, and how all of them came to be who they are. The amazing writing that underpins every interaction is what makes the individual interactions so compelling.

When I woke up every morning (in the game world, mind you), the only thing I wanted to do is talk to people, conveniently ignoring the dialogue choices that furthered the plot until the end of the conversation. The pétanque-playing veterans who have some scathing opinions about communist theory, the paledriver who's mind is corrupted by nostalgia, the mysterious balcony smoker who I later learned was part of the homosexual underground, the Semanese race theorist who I wanted nothing more than to punch in the face if not for my low physical instrument stat, these are just some examples of the extremely varied characters you meet while you investigate some dead dude or whatever, I guess. Speaking of the paledriver, learning about the true nature of the pale from the White Pines rep was a pivotal moment for me personally, as it made the world feel both unique and existentially terrifying. All these little details and more create the rich tapestry that is Disco Elysium. Also, some dude was murdered??? Who cares about that, I need to make my sorry-cop sing depressing karaoke!

I should really get back and finish it.

CONTROL

I remember the first time I read SCP-087 back in the day, and it introduced me up to the horrifying (and sometimes comedic) world of SCP. For those who don't know SCP (which can stand for "special containment procedures" or "secure, contain, protect", depending where you look), is a collaborative fiction wiki about fake government reports on the supernatural and paranormal. It's the bureaucratic nature of SCPs that really drew me into reading them, making it feel like I was reading real government reports.

So imagine my delighted surprise when I first played Control, I picked up the first of many report-type collectible and saw that it was written almost exactly like an SCP entry. Control is a game that asks "what if the SCP Foundation was a real branch of the US government?" and goes off the deep-end with that premise in the best possible way. The bureaucratic mundanity of the Federal Bureau of Control really shines in these reports, as you read report after report of some other-worldly phenomenon while also reading reports about the monthly book club. Beyond that, actually playing control was fun and engaging... up until the end. Jesse is a great protagonist, and the characters you meet along the way have great personality and give life to the bureau. The Oldest House is a fascinating setting to explore, with it’s brutalist look and nooks and crannies that change and spiral off in otherworldly ways. Unfortunately, for all the build-up the story was leading to, it ends on a pretty lame whimper. But the lackluster ending did not sway my overall love for Control. No one makes games like Remedy at the AAA level, and I'm happy they are making games like Control. I cannot wait for the DLC for this game to get back into it.

Also, the PC version of control does a phenomenal job at showing off how ray-tracing really is the future of lighting and graphics. The real-time reflections alone, where the scene I was watching was reflected almost perfectly on a pane of glass like an actual reflection (in real-time, no less!) was a marvel to look at. And, not since Quake 2 did coloured lighting look so pretty. Suffice to say, Control justified my RTX 2080 purchase single-handedly.

AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES

I have what one can say a love/hate relationship with the Zero Escape series. The first entry, 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors, is one of my favourite games of all time (currently ranked 3rd, if you care at all, which you probably don't, sorry to bother you), and while the cliffhanger ending of the sequel, Virtue's Last Reward, made me excited to see where the series would go, Zero Time Dilemma ultimately did not offer a satisfying conclusion. Not only did ZTD barely resolve any of the threads started in VLR, but it was a very disappointing conclusion to the entire Zero Escape series as a whole (Junpei and Akane's story just getting a tossed-off mention after you beat the game about how "they lived happily ever after" and nothing else? THEY DESERVED BETTER!). So when it was announced that the creator of the Zero Escape series, Kotaro Uchikoshi, was making a new game called AI: The Somnium Files, I was cautiously optimistic. I hoped ZTD was just a one-off and not indicative of a downward trend starting to happen, and Uchikoshi still had it in him to tell a compelling story.

Very fortunately (for me at least), AI: The Somnium Files delivered in the best possible way, meeting and thoroughly exceeding my expectations.

It took some time before the game adhered itself to me as a truly great game, unlike Zero Escape. In the Zero Escape games, given the Saw-like murder games the characters were forced to participate in, there was an sense of urgency to the story that helped propel it right from minute one. AI, on the other hand, is more procedural, which makes sense given that you're playing as Kaname Date, a cop who has a fake eye that is also an AI named AIBA (trust me, it makes sense in context), trying to solve the murder of his adopted daughter's birth mom. Not to strip the act of murder from the seriousness it deserves, but AI ends up being more lighthearted than the Zero Escape games, which only made me enjoy the game more. AI takes its time to explore it's story and characters, letting scenes breath and focus on characters instead of the mystery at hand, allowing said characters to have more development and growth. I bring this up only so I can talk about Mizuki Okiura, Date's adoptive daughter, who quickly becomes the standout character from the game. A back-talking, street-wise 12-year-old punk who forces her way into becoming Date's "partner" as he unravels an ever-growing conspiracy of politics, missing eyeballs, and twitch streamers (again, please trust me, it makes sense in context).

She also has a lead pipe she likes to beat people with.

Mizuki is the best.

She is THE BEST!

Make an entire game about her YOU COWARDS!!

...Anyways, structurally, AI plays similarly to Zero Escape, but with more adventure game elements to it. You still follow a flow-chart that branches depending on story choices you make, and you need to see all branches to complete the story. Not to keep comparing AI to the Zero Escape games (that's why I'm playing this game, so that's the lens I'm analyzing this game through; this is my essay, I can do what I want, you’re not my real dad), but unlike the Zero Escape games, AI ends on a legitimate, no-fooling, unambiguous happy ending that couldn't have put a bigger smile on my face. Sure, it was corny, but the entire game was corny, and ultimately I didn't care! I was just happy that I wasn't uber-depressed after playing one of Uchikoshi's games! It even ends on a dance number consisting of the entire cast of characters!

AI is a good time all-around!

(Except for the murders. Those are bad...probably...)

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2

Yes, this game came out last year, but honestly I don't care. I played it this year and that's all that matters. However, as I am coming to this game later than most, most of what can be said about Red Dead 2 has already been said by way smarter people than I am, so I won't retread any of that well-trodden ground. So, I'll keep this short: Arthur Morgan's journey is one of the best told story in AAA gaming to date, and never have I felt more like a rustic cowboy wandering the the old west. People harped on the sluggish nature of the controls, but I honestly liked it, as it added to that feeling of being a wandering cowboy. I took my time meandering through the the forests of Roanoke Ridge, the deserts of New Austin, and the red earth of Scarlet Meadows. There was nothing more that I enjoyed in this game than gearing up, getting on my horse and just riding aimlessly until I encountered something that catches my attention, whether that be a 3-star animal, a legendary fish, or even a dilapidated church on a civil war battlefield. I put in well over 100 hours on PS4 earlier this year, and I've put in another 100+ hours on PC, and I don't see myself putting it down anytime soon.

Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy game.

OUTER WILDS

Outer Wilds is not only the best game of 2019, but probably one of my top 5 favourite games of all time. It's hard to describe what makes Outer Wilds a truly one-of-a-kind experience for me without spoiling the ending. It's a game driven purely by exploration and discovery. Knowledge of the world and how it works is the sole "progression" system in the entire game; so much so that you can beat it in your very first first session if you happened to have the discoveries spoiled for you. Go into as blind as possible, that’s what I did and it made the experience all the more special. Play this game, you will not be disappointed.

At this point, I will be spoiling the major parts of the story of Outer Wilds, primarily the ending, because it is the thing that I have not been able to stop thinking about since I first experienced it. Be warned that there be major spoilers beyond this point. Given that Outer Wilds is all about discovery, I highly recommend you do not read anything beyond this point if you haven't beaten it. Again, play this game, you will not be disappointed.

One of my earliest existential fears was when I learned about the lifespan of stars in the second grade. I remember it vividly: sitting in class, hearing my teacher describe the stages of a star's life, going from normal-sized star to red giant, then eventually to a supernova, then explaining that will happen to our Sun as well. The dawning realization that the Sun will grow to a size that will envelop the Earth terrified me beyond anything that has ever terrified me up until that point in my albeit short life. I couldn't sleep for days without fearing that the sun will expand, consume the Earth and burn everyone I ever loved alive. It didn't matter that my teacher said it would take millions upon millions of years before the Sun ever reached this stage, this was my single-biggest fear.

Fast-forward 23 years later to beginning of June of 2019, I pick up Outer Wilds based on the buzz the game was getting. I knew the game was based around a time-loop à la Majora’s Mask, but had no idea about one of it’s biggest “mechanics,” so to speak. My first few runs in that game resulted in premature deaths, so it took me a little bit to realize that the Sun explodes after 22 minutes and envelops everything in a fiery blaze. Seeing my childhood fear unfolding right in from of me just drove me to unravel the mysteries of the universe I inhabited, if nothing more so that I could find a way to stop it. As I learned more about the ostensible precursor race, the Nomai, whom were fixated on finding something called the Eye of the Universe but perished before they could find it, I got it in my head that, if I can just do what the Nomai failed to do, I could stop all of this from happening. Every time the time loop started, I would run out into space and unraveling the mystery further and further, each time being obliterated by the sun at the end of 22 minutes (or dying in a really stupid physics-y way), getting closer and closer to finding out what’s really going on.

Eventually, I discovered enough information to accomplish the task of reaching the Eye of the Universe: I found the coordinates of the Eye, a ship with the necessary warp-drive to get there, and a power source to make it all happen. With the keys in-hand to finally unlocking the answer to this mystery, I set off on what would be my final run: I performed the necessary tasks, said one last goodbye to the Solar System, and barreled into what I would eventually learn is the quantum singularity of time and space, a.k.a the Eye of the Universe. I stepped out into a vast, cold emptiness of quantum existence that was the Eye and wondered around, looking for something, anything. After falling through what seemed to be a quantum vortex, I eventually found a museum not unlike the one you find at the beginning of the game; a museum that is part of the tutorial for the game. This museum contains a picture at the entrance showcasing the founders of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program, the in-universe space program your nameless, faceless alien character is a part of. However, in this quantum facsimile of this tutorial museum, which is cloaked in darkness save for the sole light emanating from your spacesuit, you're positioned to see the same picture you saw at the beginning of the game, only this time a new caption appears when inspecting it:

"Outer Wilds Ventures was founded by Feldspar, Gossan, Slate, and Hornfels to explore a solar system at the end of the universe."

I'm not trying to be hyperbolic when I say that: reading that caption started to make me go through the 5 stages of grief. I was immediately in denial of what I just read. “How could the universe be ending? The Hearthians just started their space program! How unfair it is for them for the universe they were just about to explore to end like that! Also, this is a video game! You’re supposed to give me the feel-good ending of being the hero and stopping the universe-ending event from ever happening!” As I explored the quantum museum more, the fact that the universe actually ending became more and more apparent and harder to ignore. Then, I recalled pieces of information I encountered during my travels that hinted (or plainly stated and I was too deluded to acknowledge them) that the universe was ending, and transitioned to the 2nd stage of grief: anger. Anger at myself for missing something so obvious and deluding myself into thinking that I could enact change on such a cosmic scale. I quickly entered the 3rd stage, bargaining, as I tried to snap myself out of it. “The game was pulling a fast one on me,” I told myself, “I hadn't reached the "end" of the ending yet, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Let’s not count all our chickens before they hatch!” I interacted with with the final prompt in the quantum museum, which transported me to a forest filled with galaxies. One by one, I watched these galaxies explode and fade from existence, until all that was left was darkness. It was at this point, I truly realized there was no stopping this, and I transitioned into the 4th stage: depression.

Through my depression, I stumbled across the dark, quantum glade to where I eventually found a quantum facsimile of myself, which no joke spooked me. Then all of a sudden, a campfire appears. The game asks me to settle, roasts some marshmallows, which I do, I guess. “What else can I do? It’s all pointless, the universe is over!” As I roast marshmallow after marshmallow, I'm eventually joined by a facsimile of the first Outer Wilds Ventures companion I met after launching into the stars for the first time: Esker. Esker  (”Feskermile? does that work?”) wants me to gather all the other facsimiles of the Outer Wilds Ventures folk I’ve met during my travels and have one last campfire jamboree. Still feeling defeated and hopeless, I begrudgingly set out into the darkness of the quantum forest to find Feldspar, Gabbro, Chert, and Riebeck, along with Solanum, the kinda-but-not-really-last-living Nomai I met on the Quantum Moon. Once everyone was gathered around the campfire, they started played the tune I've heard all throughout my travels in the solar system. A melody that immediately starts flooding my brain with memories of my adventures: seeing the islands of Giant’s Deep being flung into space by a storm of tornadoes; the asteroids of Hollow’s Lantern destroying the surface of Brittle Hollow, revealing a black hole core; traversing the endless fog of Dark Bramble while dodging giant eldritch anglerfish; watching the sand majestically trade places between the hourglass twins. All of these memories and more came rushing to the forefront of my mind as I listened to the characters I’ve come to know and love play the same blissful tune that propelled me on my journey up until this exact point.

As the members of the Outer Wilds Ventures space program and the both-living-and-dead Nomai finished playing their song, a new universe is born from the ashes of the doomed universe we're all currently in, which indicated to me that this is truly the end, not just for the universe, but also for the game in general. So, with a heavy sigh, I went around the campfire one last time and spoke with every character as a way to say goodbye. It was when I talked to Riebeck, the ever-optimistic banjo player, that I finally transitioned into the 5th and last stage of grief: acceptance.

"The past is past, now, but that's... you know, that's okay! It's never really gone completely. The future is always built on the past, even if we won't get to see it."

A wave of catharsis washed over my entire being. Grief is a feeling that I never truly felt while playing a video game before playing Outer Wilds. Sure, I've been sad when I character I liked gets killed and the like, but I never experienced grief so profound like the one I felt during the ending of Outer Wilds. It was grief for a universe still teeming with life about to end; it was grief for a species that just started looking at the stars not being able to fully explore their own domain; it was grief for a species that never saw the fruits of their scientific labour; ultimately, it was grief about the inevitability of death. Abject terror flooded my mind when I finally realized that the universe was truly ending and I was powerless to stop it. But that single line of dialogue from Riebeck allowed me to appreciate what was happening. I was finally happy, not because it was truly over, but because I was able to experience everything I did up until the very end. No ending, no matter the cosmic scale of it, can ever take away the memories I had existing in this universe.

With that, I collected myself, took one last look at everyone around the campfire, and collapsed the singularity, ending the current universe and giving birth to a new one, with the clearest sense of purpose I've ever had: I was finally able to confront and conquer one of my biggest fears.

[missnight0wl]

Ups and downs

Summary: Someone said “Celestial Ball”? The Yule Ball? No, it’s the Winter Ball coming to Hogwarts. It’s still quite stressful, and rather confusing.

Note: I assumed that it happens during year 5 after Bea was somehow freed without breaking the curse. It doesn’t really matter for the plot. I just feel the need to specify it. Also, I think it’d be a pretty interesting and mysterious plot twist for the game, but never mind that.

There’s also a continuation where you can find out what happened during “A night to remember”.

Words: 2650

December 1988

Nobody was expecting that Beatrice would simply enter the Hufflepuff Common Room on one evening in December. The girl was shocked and very weak, she didn’t remember much, but most importantly – she was alive. Penny wasn’t the only one overwhelmed with joy because of that reason, although, only she was allowed to accompany her sister to St Mungo’s Hospital. The older Haywood was absent for two days and then she came back for the last classes before Christmas. Helena hadn’t seen her so happy in months. But even though the aspiring Curse-Breaker wanted to join her friends in cheerful celebration, the mystery of that rescue wouldn’t leave her in peace.

“Nell! Wait!” Someone called her one morning in front of the Great Hall when she was in deep thought. It was Charlie. “Do you have a moment?”

“Sure, always,” she said, more focused. She noticed that Charlie is stepping on the side, letting her know that he wanted to talk more privately, so she followed him. “What is it?”

“It’s about the ball.”

Oh, right. There was also that. Helena’s classmates were excited not only because of the upcoming holidays and Haywoods’ situation. Apparently, the school had planned the ball at that time as well. The Winter Ball on the Christmas Eve, to be exact. It was supposed to be cancelled, however, taking into account the recent circumstances, everything was back on track. Truth be told, Helena forgot about it already. Or at least she wasn’t thinking about it. She was thrilled at first, of course, but how many things one can have on the mind at once. Still, Charlie got her curious again, thus she encouraged him to speak.

“So,” he started haltingly. “I know it’s a rough time, considering… well, everything really. And I know you’re worried about Bea, we all are, and it’s kind of weird with that ball now, you know… But even Penny said it’s fine, right? She’s staying longer only for that… And I think we should do something fun too…” The girl was watching him carefully. The Gryffindor prefect rarely was acting like that. He clearly didn’t know what to do with his hands as he was speaking. He rolled up his sleeves and crossed his arms on the chest, just to let them loose right away. He took a deep breath and continued: “Anyway… I was thinking…” He looked her in the eyes. “Would you like to go to the ball with me?”

“I’d love to!” she replied enthusiastically. After the event’s announcement, she had hoped that the younger Weasley would invite her, although, she definitely wasn’t anticipating it to happen so soon. As far as she knew, most of their peers hadn’t made such decisions yet.

“Really?” Charlie grinned. Helena couldn’t find another word to describe his expression than a relief. “That’s brilliant!”

They were standing there for a moment without a word.

“Well, I guess we could discuss some details,” Charlie eventually broke the silence, blushing slightly. “The thing is, I don’t know much about that ball yet…”

She chuckled, pulling her hair behind her ear. “Me neither, actually.”

“They didn’t tell us much, did they?”

“No, not really,” Helena admitted.

“Well, I suppose there’s still time, so…”

“… we’ll be in touch,” she finished for him.

“Exactly,” the redhead said thankfully. “Anyway, I promised Ben to meet him before classes…”

His words disappointed her a bit, but perhaps it was better to have time to think about what had just happened. “It’s okay. I’ll see you later then?”

He nodded, not stopping to smile. They entered the Great Hall together and went separate ways to their tables. Suddenly, Helena felt very light and optimistic about everything. Even Merula’s usual scowl couldn’t ruin her humour - or possibly she was getting used to that after all these years. Still beaming, she took her place next to Rowan, Tulip, and Andre. Tonks was also there, seemingly doing her homework.

“It’s too early for you to be in such good mood,” remarked Rowan, chewing a toast.

Helena hesitated. Should she tell them? There were only close people there, after all. She leant forward. “Charlie asked me to the ball,” she said in low voice.

At that moment, her best friend started choking on orange juice.

“I know, Rowan,” said Tonks, scribbling in her notes while Tulip was patting the fellow Ravenclaw on the back. “They’re growing so fast! But what you gonna do? We have to accept it.”

“You agreed, right?” asked Andre next. They all appeared more eager than she expected. Well, maybe besides Rowan who was still coughing.

“Yeah, I did…” Helena replied. She didn’t have a chance to continue, because Tulip interrupted with a glint in her eyes:

“Did he stammer?”

She tried to analyse their conversation in memory. “A little, I guess… Wait, is it bad?”

Her roommate laughed. “No, it’s not bad. I’d say it’s on the contrary.”

Helena wanted to ask what exactly did it mean when she got distracted by Bill entering the room and waving to her as he was passing by. A couple of girls stared back at him and giggle. And then, she realised something. The eldest Weasley had the natural talent to look good. Helena though? Not so much.

“Oh God, the dress!” she panicked suddenly. “The accessories! And my hair? It’s terrible, everyone knows it, you can’t do anything with it… Andre, you need to help me!”

The Ravenclaw best athlete seemed to be waiting for this moment. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve told you I’ll take care of you. All of you,” he added glancing at other girls.

“This is a bad idea,” Helena concluded gloomily. “All of it. Why do we need a ball in the first place? I can’t even dance!”

Tonks finally completed her task, so she could close the books. “Calm down, Helen,” she said blithely, looking at her friend. “Just remember what Diego always says: if you can duel, you can dance!”

As she was sharing this valuable knowledge, she put her hands on the chest and reached out one arm in a dramatic gesture. Unfortunately, she hit a jug doing so, and therefore spilt its content. The pink haired Hufflepuff cursed, collecting her recently finished work while the rest of the group was sniggering. Nonetheless, Rowan pretty quickly grabbed her wand to stop the small flood, and she proceeded to help Tonks repairing any other damages. But then, Helena heard someone else – Bill.

Bill’s laugh was very pleasant, kind of resonant and melodic. It always made her feel better because it sounded honest. She could also see why it was making some of the students swoon. However, why was he laughing right now? The Weasleys were always sitting together during meals, today probably wasn’t different. Did Charlie tell him about the ball? Were they… making fun of her? No way, they would never do such a thing… wouldn’t they?

Helena’s mood changed once again that day which barely had started. All excitement left her body like the air from a popped balloon.

“I have to go,” she announced abruptly, standing up.

“But you haven’t even eaten anything…“ noticed upset Rowan.

Yet, the other Ravenclaw was already gone. Helena went straight to classes, and she was just grateful that none of them was shared with Gryffindors. She was also glad that Rowan thought of bringing her some sandwiches. Still, it wasn’t enough to make her want to interact with anyone.

After the last period, she was standing in the corridor by the window, watching white crystals slowly covering the whole castle. It was snowing gently the whole day, making everything seem more and more magical. Some decorations started showing up also in the inside. It was a perfect time to feel festive spirit.

“What’s wrong with you this time, Ellis?” Merula walked to her from behind. “In the morning, you looked as if you overdosed Elixir to Induce Euphoria, again. And now? More like your pet died.”

Helena glared at Snyde. “Why do you even care?”

“I don’t,” the Slytherin responded. “So it’s about the pet, isn’t it?”

“Are you actually concerned about my feelings?” Helena asked incredulously.

“No, you idiot,” Merula rolled her eyes. “I want to know if it has anything to do with the Vaults.”

“Well, that’s reassuring… And no, it’s not about the Vaults.”

“What is it then?”

The Ravenclaw leaned against the wall, looking away from the intruder. “Just leave me alone, Merula. I’m not in the mood to deal with you today.”

“Oh, but you will have to. We have a meeting with Rakepick, remember?”

Of course, she didn’t. She would probably stay here watching the snow, without a reminder. Their mentor wouldn’t take well such an insult.

Right on cue, the current Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher appeared in the corridor as well, and she quickened her pace as soon as she saw her apprentices. Helena could swear sometimes that Patricia cast some kind of spell summoning her every time she’s mentioned anywhere in the building. She was a little scared by this ominous thought.

“Miss Ellis, Miss Snyde. Good to find you here,” said Rakepick hurriedly. “I’m afraid I have to cancel our plans for this evening. There’s an emergency that needs my attention outside of Hogwarts. Can you meet me tomorrow instead?”

Merula didn’t seem to be delighted about it, yet she agreed, whereas Helena just shrugged her shoulders.

“Is something wrong?” asked Rakepick, looking at the second student.

“Ellis is heartbroken,” Snyde answered with contempt. Was she being sarcastic or did she in fact know something?

The professor raised her eyebrow and sighed. “Well, would it still allow you to pass my message to Mr Weasley? I don’t really have time to search for him, I shouldn’t even be here by now…”

Helena shrugged again, and Patricia apparently took it for confirmation, because in the next moment, she was gone.

“She can do with us whatever she wants, can’t she?” Merula snapped. “I wonder what she’s up to this time.”

“Maybe you should ask her,” Helena proposed a little waspishly.

The Slytherin gave her the stink eye. “Get yourself together, Ellis. I assume you’ll take care of Weasley. I don’t have time to be a messenger.”

And just like that, she walked away too, leaving her companion with no real choice. The girl didn’t feel good about the perspective of the confrontation with Bill, but she couldn’t be avoiding him forever either. Her first guess turned out to be correct, and she found Head Boy in the library, preoccupied with the stack of the books.

“Hey, Bill…”

He glanced at her with a rather absent expression. “Helen, is it time already?”

“No, actually Rakepick had to reschedule it for tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s great. I can finish my revision for today in that case!” He opened back his notebook when he noticed his friend’s troubled face. “You know, if I didn’t know you better, I’d say you’re upset about that cancellation. What’s going on?”

Helena hung her head, avoiding his eyes.

“Is it about the ball?” the Gryffindor persisted. She looked at him briefly and went back to staring at the table. “I was quite happy for you and Charlie, but perhaps I shouldn’t have. Do you want to talk about it?”

This drew her attention. “Wait, you were?”

“What? Happy? Of course,” said surprised Bill. “Why wouldn’t I be happy about two people I care about getting together?”

The Ravenclaw wasn’t convinced. “Why were you laughing at breakfast then?”

Now he also looked confused. It took him a while to understand. “Oh, that…” he smiled, realising finally. “Yeah, I might be making fun of Charlie a tad. He was pretty nervous if you didn’t notice. I honestly thought I’ll have to ask you for him. I guess it’s just that stupid age when talking to a girl you like is the biggest challenge. You remember me in my fifth year…” Bill must’ve realised that Emily Tyler is not the best memory, because he quickly added: “At least Charlie chose better, and he’s smart enough to actually get know his crush first.”

“So… it wasn’t a joke?” Helena asked to be sure.

He shook his head. “No. Not on his part at least.”

“You idiot…” the girl muttered under her breath.

Bill was staring at her blankly. “It might be because of too much caffeine in my system, but I don’t think I follow anymore...”

“No! It’s not about you!” she assured him quickly. “I have to find Charlie though.”

“Training, probably,” suggested Head Boy, frowning.

“Of course. Thank you, Bill!” She ran out of the library before he could answer.

It started getting darker already, the cloudy weather sped up that process. There was a thin layer of snow laying on the ground. The practice must’ve just ended when Helena finally reached the Quidditch pitch because she got past a couple of Gryffindor players. Soon, she spotted Charlie landing, so she walked in his direction. He noticed her too.

“Hey, I don’t see you here much,” he greeted her, grinning. He was still a little out of breath. His face was flushed from the cold wind and exertion. “I hope you don’t spy for the Ravenclaw team,” he added jokingly.

“Of course not!” she said, pretending to be hurt by his assumption. “I wouldn’t dare.”

The redhead took the Golden Snitch out of his pocket and put it in the wooden chest, closing the lid next. He grabbed it in one hand, his broom in another. “Really? Sounds like something a spy would say. Besides, I’ve heard you’re quite good at this job,” he teased her.

“Are you making fun of me?” the girl gasped.

“Of course not! I wouldn’t dare,” Charlie replied, his eyes twinkling. She couldn’t help but giggle. “Seriously though, let’s go inside. You’re freezing, and I don’t have anything warm here to give you.”

Driven by the emotions, Helena hadn’t thought about dressing up before going outside, and it was indeed rather cold. She only now realised it. She pulled down the sleeves of her robes and tried to not think about it while Charlie was walking by her side. The entrance to the changing rooms wasn’t that far off.

“So, did something happen?” the Seeker went back to the conversation.

“Um, no, not really. I was just wondering…” The Ravenclaw’s mind became blank. She didn’t know what to tell at all. She simply wanted to let him know that she wasn’t ignoring him the whole day, and she’s actually looking forward to their time together. Still, she couldn’t admit to her terrible misunderstanding. “Do you think… I should have a corsage for the ball?”

She was never really interested in the balls, so she didn’t know if it’s a part of the tradition in the wizarding world. She had seen it once in some American movie, and she didn’t even like it much. However, for some reason, it was the first thing that came to her mind.

Charlie was clearly caught by surprise, perhaps not knowing what’s she asking about. “I have no idea, to be honest. But I’m pretty sure Andre will gladly tell us what’s fashionable this season,” he chuckled. “Bloody hell, he’s gonna be so annoying now…” He changed his voice a bit to mimic their friend. “No, Charlie, you’re not wearing red and gold. You won’t be so dull to pick your House colours. I don’t care that’s how Chinese Fireball looks like, you won’t dress like a dragon either!”

Helena laughed. “Are you actually considering a dragon outfit?”

“No,” he said innocently. “Maybe… Would you mind that?”

“Not at all.” The girl noticed she’s definitely warmer. “Just let me know earlier, so I could find something matching, all right?”

“Deal,” Charlie promised. “Now wait here. I should have my scarf in the locker for you on the way back to the castle.”

[ilcaeryx]

Tenacity: Chapter 5 - Derive [Midoriya Izuku/Reader]

SUMMARY: Past and future, Izuku has always been surrounded by good people.

TAGS: Reader-insert Collection, Fluff, Meeting the Parents, Weddings

Link to Chapter 5 of Tenacity on AO3

or continue reading below.

Chapter 5: Derive

Midoriya Inko should be used to frequent surprises by now; her son was somehow the focal point for the eye of the storm, a cyclone with a build-up of over a decade and the efforts and tears of dozens, if not hundreds, of humans. You weren't an eye-witness to it, though you could perceive the nurture and devotion his friends and family had permeated his soul with. Frankly, it sometimes felt you had accidentally sweeped into his life only to reap the benefits of a healthy, stable Izuku without contributing to his well-being. Inside your heart, you could only wish you'd offer a quarter of support everyone else had.

You didn't dare antipating or assuming you would - the competition for most time and energy invested in Midoriya Izuku was insane, with the odds stacked heavily against you. That line-up was frankly intimidating.

Imagine devoting yourself to someone like that, you mused and swiped the photo of a younger Izuku and Mrs Midoriya with a nail, trailing an invisible bond between them. It was obvious that Izuku had been a momma's boy back then, standing closer to his mother in the picture than most teenage boys would've wanted while smiling brightly. Adorable. This photo must have been taken during high school, judging by uniform.

You compared young Izuku with adult Izuku, holding the frame an arms-width away towards the real deal. Said real deal was sitting on his mother's couch, legs apart and his elbows propped up on them. He was ruminating, as he often did, with his hands covering his mouth. Much like his older counterpart, young Izuku seemed somewhat burdened with something. There was this slight slouch in his shoulders, a hesitant inclination of centimeters that made you go 'hmmm'. Following the contour of his shoulders, down his arms you saw that his clasped hands already had the web-like net of scars back then.

Today, those scars had faded but it alarmed you how out of place they seemed in this pretty family picture. Izuku always told you that his body was a monument to his tenacity whenever your touch lingered too long over his scars. However, you could easily tell that those weren't his words. No, those words were hand-me-downs from someone else.

With care, you put down the frame next to the growing collection and joined your boyfriend on the couch.

You couldn't help but compare again. His digits and arms were marred, even if it wasn't as bad as in the photo. He didn't seem to mind, as he wore a short sleeved shirt today, and his hands were preoccupied switching between preening his hair and nervously rubbing together.

"Izuku, you're looking distraught," you said and took one of his hands in your own, a film of sweat coating his palms. You squeezed slightly, bringing him out of his thoughts. "I can leave if you want to. You don't have to introduce me to your mom right now. We haven't been together for that long, anyway…"

"What? No!" He visibly shrunk away and shook his head furiously. "I'm just nervous, is all! It's just that she won't be expecting you here. I didn't tell her about you- I mean I did tell her about you but not that you'd stay for dinner. She'll be home any minute now and she'll see you sitting here…"

The sound of someone scribbing with the lock echoed through the apartment, both of you scrambling towards each other. You weren't easy to emotionally influence, but Izuku's shaky nerves were starting to infect you.

"It's do or die now," you stated, clenching your teeth into a beaming smile, determined to make this as least awkward as possible.

"Mom! We're in the living room!" Izuku turned towards you and gave your knuckles a brief kiss. "I wouldn't have brought you here unless I could handle it. I love you and my mom will, too."

Whatever the reason may be, you knew he'd have your back.

He stood up and pulled you up, gingerly. The two of you lingered in each others' warmth, hands to hands and chest to chest. You braced yourself figuratively as Izuku braced his arm around your back, resting his hand on your elbow.

Inko Midoriya took off her ballet pumps and ordered all the pairs by the entrance into a neat file. Her simple ones, her son's boots (that were almost falling apart, goodness!) and a pair clearly targeted towards younger women. Those weren't her's.

Her son told her that they were in the living room.

We're in the living room?

A few months had passed since Izuku had brought home a friend and although it made her preen her skirt and tunic with great intensity it made her happy. Inko remembered that last time had been last winter, when the sweet girl that is Ochako had joined them for dinner. They had had a wonderful time and Inko had been delighted that Izuku had stayed friends with her, even long after they had graduated from UA. Inko couldn't prevent him from diving head-strong into danger, but a few good friends by his side would make him think twice.

"We are?" Inko quoted and stepped out of the dark hallway into her living room, where her son and a young woman she did not recognize were waiting. For a second, she was taken aback: her son's gentle disposition was evident whenever he interacted with anyone and anything, yet the way he very deliberately held her against his chest made her almost cover her mouth in surprise, before restraining herself. If she managed to make Izuku's girlfriend (?) break into hives because Inko couldn't control her reactions she would feel downright terrible about it!

It was fortunate both of them were tall though, because she couldn't cry when she was looking up.

The young woman introduced herself politely and bowed very curtly, her hair falling around her in neat strands. Beside her, Izuku rested his hand on the back of her spine.

"Mom," Izuku refocused her attention from his hand to his face, "Y/N is the girl I told you about a few days ago. Actually," his eyed shifted, "she's my girlfriend."

I see…

"I'm Midoriya Inko," she said, her bow unusually fluid and lithe. "Very pleased to meet you, Y/N."

Years later, the memories of Izuku introducing you to his mother still made you laugh hard. Such fuss and worry over something that naturally developed into an unusually strong bond between a mother and her daughter-in-law. Indeed, after your own parents passed, Inko didn't hesitate to nourish you under her wing until you had accepted reality for what it was. While the realization wasn't easier per se, her unyielding support and Izuku's patience called you back from the deep abyss into the light again.

Really, it was silly to think that you and Inko wouldn't have ended up close, much less gotten along.

"I'm surprised you didn't end up crying," you said, popping a praline into your mouth. You had eaten about two hours ago, yet you still felt starved so you had to eat whatever left over chocolate you could find in your suite. As such, you didn't stop at one praline.

"I wasn't about to mortify you," Inko said, straightening creases out of the train, allowing it to gently cascade down onto the floor. "Although I was close to. I remember thinking that you would never return if that was the first impression you got of me."

"A few tears wouldn't have kept me away from Izuku. I would probably have been more self-conscious and confused, had you cried. It would've be very strange for you to act rude when Izuku had been praising you ever since I got to know him."

Inko stood up and put her hands together, a surprised expression on her face.

"He has?"

"He still brings it up quite often, but don't tell him I said that." Your legs were itching beneath the thick layers of the wedding dress. There was some relief from grazing the fabric against your skin, but you hoped that it would pass soon. The time had almost come for you to leave. It couldn't come fast enough, though you also felt like it couldn't go slow enough for you to feel ready. "I think you've done so much for him, Inko, that he'll never forget it. Izuku's just that type of person."

You nodded at your own conclusion, satisfied.

"Izuku's a genuinely good person," Inko said, looking up to the mirror at your reflection. "He's surrounded with so many people that love him, it would be hard for him to go astray. As a mother, this is the best gift I could receive. I know that whatever happens, he'll do the right thing. It may sound presumptious, but I think that him marrying you is the right thing to do, too."

Woah. That last comment made you raise your eyebrows. Not too much though, lest you wanted to disrupt your hair or make-up.

"You really think so?" you asked, warm all over.

Mama Midoriya smiled and hummed. "I do. I thought Izuku couldn't possibly be happier, having met his heroes and entered his dream career, and then you came along. You're sharp and rigorous and I think he learns a terrible lot from you. He's always had people who've prompted him to excel but not everyone can keep up with him. I think you're doing a great job at that. That said, I think we should head down. We shouldn't leave them waiting!"

Mother and wife-to-be, past and future, gave Midoriya Izuku another reason to fight.

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[paulisweeabootrash]

Retrospective Review: Rewatching Azumanga Daioh as an Adult

This may seem hard to believe if you are a younger reader or one who got into anime only recently, but there was once a time when recommendations spread by word of mouth, it was absolutely commonplace for anime seasons to last longer than 13 episodes, and the vocabulary of the anime fandom wasn’t nearly as full of internet-originated in-jokes.  A time when the internet-savvy congregated on forums dedicated to specific topics instead of social networking sites, and the imageboards that generate so much of the internet meme landscape were just starting to take off among lonely nerds as an obscure haven for perverts, racists, and assholes instead of the role they have today as… uh… well... a well-known haven for perverts, racists, and assholes.  A time when there was no such term as “weeaboo trash” because that Perry Bible Fellowship comic hadn’t been published yet, let alone used for that meaning.  It wasn’t some golden age, but it was different, and today I’m taking a self-indulgent trip back to the end of that period, when I was in high school in the mid-2000s.

Azumanga Daioh (2002).

1. Why is this show important to me?

My introduction to anime consisted mostly of Pokémon and Sailor Moon, and took off with scattered episodes of several other shows that aired on WB and Cartoon Network, which were generally driven by action and combat.  I can’t remember the circumstances or even who did it, but someone who owned, or perhaps pirated, a copy of Azumanga Daioh must have shown me a few episodes at some point.

Here was a show that had been on the leading edge of the moe trend a few years earlier, and although certainly available, such things were not yet common.  Moe has, of course, taken over a large chunk of anime since, to mixed reception since it can range from innocently delightful to extraordinarily creepy.  Azumanga is close to the innocent end of the spectrum, and absolutely delightful (as, BTW, is the author’s current ongoing manga series Yotsuba&!), with a softer, cuter art style than I was accustomed to and instantly-lovable characters.

It was clearly in a different genre and had a different sensibility about how to make a show, too.  It had few repeated or filler elements, unlike any of the shows following the “monster of the week” formula.  It was broken up into several vignettes per episode — a practice that I was familiar with from the format of many Nicktoons, but while American shows with that format told multiple self-contained stories, the short segments here were typically parts of larger episode-long stories, often focusing on different parts of the same event or different anecdotes about the same character.  It showed us, the foreign audience, something about life in Japan, and at least for me was the first time I’d heard of distinctly Japanese school practices like applications for public high schools, students cleaning classrooms, or the particular kinds of seasonal festivals they have.  It lacked story arcs driven by overcoming some enemy and instead was driven by character relationships themselves and the instantly-relatable experience of school.  It was an encounter with something utterly different — and it made an excellent first impression.

Eventually, I bought a copy of the complete series of the manga it’s based on.  Azumanga Daioh was originally, well, a manga, written by Azuma Kiyohiko and originally published in the form of a 4-panel comic strip that ran in the magazine Dengeki Daioh.  See, it’s Azuma’s manga in Dengeki Daioh.  Azuma manga, Dengeki Daioh.  Azumanga Daioh.  Ha.  Clever.  Anyway, in there, I encountered largely the same characters and interactions, a mix of believable school life and quick gags, just presented in a different format.  I eventually got the DVD box set of the show, too, and I’ve rewatched a few favorite episodes several times, but this review is the first time I’ve revisited the whole series in years.

2. Who are all these people?

Rather than focusing on a small core friend group like Three Leaves, Three Colors, another much more recent adorable high school slice-of-life I greatly enjoy (and should maybe review?), Azumanga has a pretty large ensemble.  Most of them are students and the “story arc” such as it is follows them through three years, from entering to graduating from high school, over a single 26-episode season.  So rather than cover a plot synopsis, I think it would make more sense to dive into specific characters and their relationships.  The show its at its funniest and sweetest with the dynamics of certain combinations of the main characters, and there are a lot of combinations available.  Covering all of the recurring named characters approximately in the order we meet them (except a few characters who show up only in an episode or two each and another classmate named Chihiro who shows up on the periphery as a friend of Kaorin), let’s look at the relationships that stand out:

Yukari and Nyamo: Yukari Tanizaki, the English teacher who is the homeroom teacher to most of the cast, is unprofessional and insensitive from the first moment we see her, traits which are elaborated in later episodes into a sort of impulsive over-the-top-ness that clashes with the fact that she actually is a pretty good teacher.  Emphasizing her less-serious attitude, students even refer to or address her by her given name (although the subtitles exaggerate this a bit by consistently calling her “Miss Yukari” when she’s usually just addressed as “teacher”).  Minamo Kurasawa, the gym teacher, is a long-time friend of Yukari.  She and Yukari (who calls her “Nyamo”) were even classmates at the same high school they currently teach at.  In addition to being central to the gym class/sports-related episodes, she’s also Yukari’s more caring, approachable, and professional foil, which sets up interactions where Nyamo tries to be helpful and manage situations in the face of Yukari being antagonistic (and, outside of school hours, drunk) towards her and the students.  Yukari in particular prods at Nyamo’s sore spots: being single and having done embarrassing things in high school.

Tomo and Yomi: Tomo Takino is 100% genki girl.  I mean, come on, she’s the illustration for the TV Tropes article by that name.  She’s not only enthusiastic, but loud, intrusive, and pointlessly competitive to the point of being just plain mean.  She’s the kind of person who might mature into a less competent Yukari if she burnt out a bit.  Koyomi Mizuhara, on the other hand, is much more serious and self-conscious, and although she still genuinely is Tomo’s friend and goes along with some of her silliness, she barely puts up with Tomo’s teasing and flurry of bad ideas.  She is the Nyamo to Tomo’s Yukari, complete with Tomo enforcing a nickname on her, so she’s almost always called “Yomi” throughout.  Yomi is much more considerate than Tomo, too.  This often comes out in Yomi scolding Tomo’s insensitivity, but it’s also seen less directly when they are giving Chiyo (more on her below) birthday presents — Tomo offers first a joke that doesn’t go over well, then a magic wand she apparently expects Chiyo to believe will make her grow taller, which Chiyo dismisses, while Yomi offers a book which Chiyo enthusiastically accepts and says she expects to enjoy.

Osaka, Tomo, and Kagura: Ayumu Kasuga is a distractible and soft-spoken transfer student from Osaka whom Yukari, Tomo, and Yomi pester with misinformed questions and assumptions about her home city.  Tomo, naturally, saddles her with the nickname “Osaka” as if that is her entire identity.  The nickname quickly catches on, with even Yukari calling her that instead of her actual name in class.  She is accepted as a friend by the other students who still consider her eccentric and baffling, but not annoying or embarrassing like you might expect.  (In fact, the other girls react more and more to Tomo as the annoying and embarrassing one.)  During the second year of school,  she bonds with Tomo and Kagura (introduced as a star athlete from Nyamo’s homeroom during the first year, she becomes a major character in the second year) over their similar incredible forgetfulness and poor academics.  Yomi calls them “bonkura”, translated as “knuckleheads”, and the three of them adopt the name for themselves as they study together — an idea which is doomed from the outset.  The three of them together, or any two of them, play off each other wonderfully.

Chiyo and Osaka: Chiyo Mihama, a child prodigy who is only 10 years old at the beginning of the series, is so academically gifted it can upset and embarrass her classmates, but on the other hand is naive, and not just because she’s a child.  She is in fact clueless about the outside world.  She fails in the first summer break trip (ep. 5) to understand that the other characters’ families are nowhere near as rich as hers, and in the second summer break (ep. 14), even after a year and a half of being around high schoolers, she entirely fails to understand Nyamo’s off-screen explanation of “adult relationships” (kids innocently being oblivious to what sex is seems to be a common basis for jokes in Japanese media).  Chiyo being five years younger than her classmates — and on the other side of puberty from them — also makes her lag far behind them in athletics.  On the one hand, this makes her very self-conscious and afraid of being a burden on her classmates in team activities, and on the other, it sets up a running gag of Chiyo and Osaka teaming up to be by far the worst pair of athletes across the board.  Oh, and Osaka’s dream about Chiyo’s pigtails in the New Year’s episode is one of the weirdest and most authentically dreamlike dream sequences I’ve ever seen.  Although maybe that just says more about my own dreams than about the show.

Sakaki and Nobody (or, Multiple Kinds of Unrequited Feelings): Sakaki is considered effortlessly cool and somewhat intimidating — Kagura calls her a “silent lone wolf” — but she’s not big on that reputation.  Students openly admire her, especially for her athletic talent, and treat her with distance and respect by almost universally calling her “Miss Sakaki” (since this is apparently her family name, not given name).  She does not enjoy this treatment, but is also too private (and perhaps too insecure) to complain about or discuss it.  She is indifferent to sports despite excelling at them, and doesn’t even recognize Kagura when she proclaims herself Sakaki’s rival, presumably because the first-year sports festival just didn’t stick out in her memory the way it did in Kagura’s.  Despite calling it rivalry, however, Kagura quickly inserts herself into Sakaki’s life in a friendship that Sakaki responds to more with quiet tolerance than reciprocation.

Kaorin, meanwhile, mistakes Kagura’s one-sided friendly rivalry for a very different kind of attention, and accordingly treats her one-sidedly as a romantic rival (although she does eventually calm down about it).  Kaori (family name not mentioned), usually addressed by the more affectionate “Kaorin”, is shown at first to ambiguously admire Sakaki, but it quickly becomes clear that she is infatuated with her.  And, despite the insistence of many fanfic writers since, Sakaki never catches on to this, even with Kaorin gazing dreamily at her while dancing with her, or clinging to her arm while posing for a picture together.  I'm sure, given how over-the-top she is, that Kaorin’s unrequited feelings are supposed to be funny, but I find it sweet and sad and end up rooting for her.

Sakaki and Cute Animals: Sakaki is not unfriendly, or even very socially inept, though.  She gets along well with the main cast, especially Chiyo.  But she is aloof, not just because of shyness but because she has a secret love of all things cute, especially cats and dogs, and gets caught up in her own thoughts about cute things.  Although she loves animals, they don’t necessarily love her back.  There is a series-spanning running gag with a cat in the neighborhood whom she repeatedly tries to pet, no matter how many times it bites her for doing so.  In fact, in that very same episode where Kagura declares her rivalry, the strongest emotional reactions we see from Sakaki are horror directed at Kagura for scaring that cat away and, later, being moved to tears by a story she’s constructing in her head about another cat while Kagura is trying to talk to her.  Sakaki’s thoughts on cute animals also yield a second running gag: "Chiyo's dad".  An orange cat-like doll (evidently some kind of character or mascot in-universe?) that appears numerous times in the background early in the show appears in Sakaki’s New Year’s dream and introduces himself to her as Chiyo’s father, so Sakaki refers to the doll as “Chiyo’s dad” for the rest of the series without explanation, much to the confusion of the other characters.  While he’s an inanimate object in the background before the dream, afterwards he appears as alive and magical, sometimes in Sakaki’s imagination and sometimes intruding into the real world as short transition clips between scenes.

Kimura vs. Everyone (mostly Kaorin): Last and certainly least, let’s consider Mr. Kimura, the literature teacher.  Within a minute of the first time we the audience see him, Tomo asks him why he became a teacher and he blurts out that it’s because he likes high school girls.  Which a group of creepy boys in the class call “brave”.  Ugh.  This presages chronic inappropriateness of varying levels from Kimura — from unsolicited suggestions for cheerleading uniforms to hanging out during gym class to watch the girls swim to heaping unwanted “favors” on Kaorin, to whom he is obviously attracted.  Beyond the increasing variety of his inappropriateness, he doesn’t really develop as a character.  He is, interestingly, shown as an otherwise decent person outside of school, but this is not portrayed as excusing him.  Rather, it’s made clear that his creepiness is contextual, and his role throughout the series is consistently as a grotesque comic relief, not a sympathetic character.  Kaorin even consciously tries to improve her opinion of Kimura because his wife is so nice, leading her to believe that this means Kimura himself must have good points to deserve someone like that, only to be immediately shown otherwise.  We the audience are laughing at him, not with him, and at some points are genuinely upset at him on the girls’ behalf.  Or at least, I hope that’s how the rest of the audience takes him.

3. Yeah, but there's some kind of progression, right, even if it's not really a story arc?

Again, it's not the kind of show that has an overarching goal or conflict.  The goal, such as it is, is the characters' graduation from high school.  The topic of what they'll each do after graduating comes up several times, as you might expect, but isn't that much of a plot point.  Not all of the main characters even have clear plans laid out that we know of, but the plans we do know about match their established personalities well.  Tomo changes her mind repeatedly between several half-baked ideas.  Osaka decides at the last minute to try to become a teacher based on Chiyo straining to think of something fitting Osaka's... unique way of looking at things.  Chiyo is perhaps overconfident, planning to study abroad in America despite being only 13 when she graduates.  Sakaki anonymously showed interest in veterinary school early on, but didn't discuss it with her friends until much later, after she started showing her weakness for cuteness in front of them.

The main progression that happens is some evolution in the characters' relationships and attitudes.  There is of course the progression from strangers to friends among the main cast, but also some character development growing out of things that started as gags.  Osaka, for example, begins as the butt monkey of the class, but by the end of the first year, she is very well accepted by her classmates, and she even gets along particularly well with Tomo, who was originally shown teasing and stereotyping her the most but has now toned it down a bit.  Nyamo’s miserable singlehood, previously a running joke, leads her to open up to the idea of trying matchmaking instead of dating.  Sakaki becomes more willing to express her love of cute animals in front of the other girls, starting with Chiyo, and her running gag experiences with the hostile cat play out to a resolution when she adopts, of all things, an endangered wildcat which is the only cat that doesn’t bite her, then has a final encounter with the hostile cat where she tries to make amends.  Chiyo's academic talents were met with light irritation and mockery at first, but by the end, her new friends are grateful for her help and rise in applause when she is recognized for her grades during the graduation ceremony.  Kagura relaxes her Tomo-like tendencies more and more, and shows a degree of gratitude and sentimentality towards her new friend group that would’ve been shocking when she was first introduced.  Even Tomo, usually the show's last bastion of immaturity, shows tiny bits of improvement: self-reflection and regret during a serious conversation with Yomi over what American audiences would call "finding your passion", and later leading the applause for Chiyo.  To compare Azumanga to Three Leaves, Three Colors again, it’s true that this show doesn't go into as much depth in character relationships as that one despite running for more than twice the number of episodes, but I don’t think that’s a flaw in Azumanga so much as a combination of Azumanga’s larger main cast, gag comedy focus, and choice of a different “zoom level” on the main cast’s lives.

The show itself evolves a little bit, too.  As it goes on, more episodes have segments that flow together and they contain more references to events in previous episodes.  By the last few episodes, with graduation looming, it almost feels like it has become a conventional plot-driven show.  The shift from shorter to longer segments, shorter to longer jokes, etc., is seamless — and pretty typical of comic strips where perhaps the author hasn’t “figured out” their own characters at the beginning.  Surreal elements also get more common, like the “Chiyo’s dad” running gag and increasingly-elaborate looks into what characters are imagining.  As I recall, these changes reflect the stylistic evolution of the original manga, but... uh... my copy of the manga is with my parents at the moment so I didn’t check myself on that.

4. How is it different in retrospect?

As I said, I first saw this in high school, so I was about the age of the main cast.  Perhaps this was one of the things that made it so enjoyable.  The characters seemed relatable, and I lacked the aversion to depictions of ordinary life that some people had because I didn’t have a particularly negative high school experience despite being decidedly uncool.  (I was, in fact, neither interested in being cool nor in being self-consciously uncool, and was content with the set of people I got along with.  I was never really an angsty teenager so much as a sad one.)  My experience of the show is, if anything, even greater appreciation now.  Some of that difference comes from knowledge and some from aging.

I’ve become a bit less of a poser and/or snob about some things since then.  I’d seen a lot of obviously-atrocious dubs growing up, and they really put me off the idea that anyone actually cared about dubbing into English well.  Since then, I’ve lightened up a bit, partly because it seems like nowadays distributors do a lot less 4Kids-style butchery of shows when they’re translated and partly because I’ve realized that there is plenty of bad Japanese voice acting, too, so sometimes the English version is just plain easier on the ears.  So I’ve watched this mostly in the English dub this time around (some episodes in both to check the different versions of specific jokes) and I really enjoy it.  The voices are character-appropriate and the English lines fit the lip movements better than the original Japanese voice track while only rarely resulting in rhythms and stresses that sound unnatural in English, which really impresses me.

Just from the sort of vocabulary one picks up by being weeaboo trash, I occasionally notice differences in meaning between the dialogue and subtitles when watching the sub version.  And I even picked up on an interesting translation choice for a joke I hadn’t noticed before.  When Yomi tells Osaka that Chiyo is a child prodigy in ep. 2, Osaka responds comparing Chiyo to a boy she knew growing up, resulting in her expressing a different misunderstanding in each version about how the boy was described by adults.  In the English dub, Osaka says something about him “smarting off”, the joke being she thinks that means he’s smart.  In the English subtitles, she says he was “precocious”, to which Yomi says she doesn’t think that meant he was smart by calling him that.  This time around, I finally caught that the Japanese dialogue there clearly uses the phrase “otoko no ko”, insinuating that the boy is a crossdresser and/or gay.  Even though I don’t understand the full Japanese joke, the implication is clearer than it was in English (because I, um, also didn’t think of the double entendre on the word “precocious” until now), as is the degree of the misunderstanding.

I appreciate now how many scenes are psychologically-savvy.  Just in the episode in which the main cast of students move up to their second year of high school, we see two scenes that just click with me as “yes, people do this, and I don’t know why we don’t seem to notice it!”.  I mentioned above Kagura wanting to compete more because of the sports festival while Sakaki thinks nothing of it at all, which hinges on the simple difference in the sports festival having been a memorable event in Kagura’s life but not Sakaki’s.  That episode also features a scene in which Tomo eggs on her classmates to eat their lunches early because it’s a thing that (according to her) second-years do, which sets up Mr. Kimura to arrive the room for literature class, see everyone eating, and therefore assume he must be the one who has the time wrong and go back to the faculty lounge for his own lunch.  This tendency to defer to others in decisions in our own lives, not through peer pressure per se but through assuming that something done commonly or confidently must be correct, is just something I don’t see portrayed or acknowledged much in Japanese or American media.  And I love it.  For those two scenes alone, this is one of my favorite episodes in the whole series.

As far as the characters, I still find the students charming and relatable, and I’m willing to bet that everyone knows someone like most of them in real life.  They fit Japanese character archetypes to a certain extent, but are also developed enough especially in their interactions with each other that they come off as realistic to me.  So they hold up well.  But mainly, I find I have much more appreciation for the teacher characters as an adult.  I can think of times when I’ve been the Yukari in a situation, whether that means being overbearing and inconsiderate when I think I’m being funny or whether it means or digging through a messy desk swearing that I know exactly where something is before creating a landslide.  And I can think of times when I’ve been the Nyamo accidentally antagonizing the Yukari by trying to be helpful.  I even appreciate Kimura, not because I think he’s relatable or a good guy, but because he’s distressingly realistic.  His creepiness comes at the same time as genuine competence and, as far as we are aware, a normal and functional home life.  It is widely-acknowledged yet never stopped by the administration, even though it ranges from unprofessional obnoxiousness to genuinely alarming sexual harassment.  Kimura is unfortunately plausible and all-around frustratingly topical.

Revisiting these characters, I’ve also realized something about myself.  When I first watched this show (and read the manga), I got a serious crush on Osaka.  She would go solidly in the “endearingly pathetic” column if I were to evaluate her that way, and she also reminded me at the time of a few different confidently strange and spacy people I went to high school with.  And then, getting older, I realized…  She’s endlessly distractible by trivial things.  She asks weird hypotheticals and follows odd tangents to other topics.  She often misunderstands people.  She’s hopelessly unathletic and clumsy.  Oh no.  I'm the Osaka of my circle of friends.  So, uh, that’s a thing that happened, and I have no idea what to make of it.

Azumanga is relaxed, wholesome, and hilarious, and its characters and major events are believable even when highly stylized for comedic effect.  When it's not in hyper-simple comedy mode, the art can be downright beautiful.  It’s clearly an artifact of its time given, for example, the lack of cell phones (even basic ones) and persistence of film cameras, but that kind of aging happens to any show.  The situations are still relatable despite not being topical, which makes me think — or at least hope — that this can last well into the future as something new audiences find worth watching.

—–

W/A/S Scores: 8 / 3? / 3

Weeb: There are lots of little things that will seem odd if you go in believing that Japanese school schedules and activities are the same as American ones, but anime is so saturated with high school comedies nowadays that it is much less weeb now than it was then to expect that background knowledge.  Many non-school things like flower-gazing or the fact that seasonal fairs in Japan have different activities and expected clothing than in American ones will seem distinctly foreign but understandable to a naive audience, while a few episodes might need some looking up to “get” because they expect audience familiarity with things still obscure to most Western audiences, like lucky dreams in the New Year’s episode or the yōkai in the second culture festival episode.  Mostly, familiarity with the conventions of other anime or of Japanese culture will enhance enjoyment but aren’t strictly required to enjoy it.  The art style sometimes shifts for specific gags to a particular style of minimal-movement chibi characters on very simple backgrounds which is more at home in the 4-panel comic world in which Azumanga originated (and in pre-moe-era comedy anime, or at least the few I've seen) than in other manga formats or newer anime, creating an additional small hurdle even for those with different Japanese media exposure.

The show runs into more of a barrier with hard-to-translate jokes than anything else, leaving the viewer the choice between replacement jokes with similar general ideas in the dub vs. the occasional feeling that there should be a joke but you’re not quite getting it in the sub.  One particular joke that they made no attempt to adapt ended up being utter nonsense in both the sub and dub unless you get that "Mr. Yukichi" refers to 19th Century Westernization advocate Fukuzawa Yukichi, who is on the ¥10,000 bill, and I gave the show an entire extra point on the Weeb scale just because I had to look that up.

Ass: Unless you’re Mr. Kimura, probably no “ass” score at all as far as sexualizing the characters, but there is the occasional sexual joke or implication.  Even the obligatory beach episodes aren’t fanservicey in the way or to the degree that a contemporary moe high school show often is.  Probably the single most sexual-looking thing is characters holding their skirts down in the intro, which is tame by comparison to anything released in the last decade.  Kimura, however, does make the show unsuitable for audiences… well… younger than the show’s main cast, probably.

Shit (writing): I have very little problem with the bulk of the content.  I think the show works and the characters are relatable and delightful.  But I do have some gripes about translation, mostly in the dub.  Although I still maintain the dub is unusually good in acting and synchronization, they do take more liberties than I’d like with changing jokes, and the dub and sub both lose some subtlety in how characters address each other, as mentioned before.

On top of that, there are some odd localization choices in the dub.  For example, the way Yukari, their English teacher in the original Japanese, is not portrayed as teaching a foreign language at all in the dub, while still making a big deal of her foreign language skills outside of class, or how characters repeatedly say “taiyaki pastry” in the dub instead of just establishing once for the English-speaking audience that taiyaki is the name of a specific style of pastry and using the name “taiyaki” from then on.  Also, I know this is very small and specific, but I noticed a place in ep. 17 where they inserted a strained pun in the dub where there was intentional awkward silence in the sub, so that’s just… weird.

Shit (other): The animation is often sparse, and although this is usually fine, it does sometimes come off as cheap.  The biggest problem visually is that the DVDs I’m watching have noticeable and pretty frequent combing, which I was able to reduce but not eliminate by fiddling with video player settings.  On the other hand, kudos to the director for hitting a sweet spot on shots that are lingered on or actions that are repeated for “too long” (e.g., Nyamo demonstrating chopstick use, or any of the scenes of Chiyo and Osaka failing at sports, or Osaka trying to wake up Yukari) because they end up hilarious when they could have been tedious.

Oh, and I love the soundtrack.  Some people may also find the frequent use of recorders annoying, but those people are (1) wrong and (2) not writing this blog.  The soundtrack is appropriately lighthearted and/or relaxing.  The opening theme “Soramimi Cake” is catchy and accompanied by an opening credits sequence that decently shows who the main characters are.  But “Raspberry Heaven”, the ending theme… ah… the sequence accompanying it is a beautiful dream and the music is movingly bittersweet for reasons I lack the music theory background to articulate.  Like, this is a really weird example, but it conveys my feelings: have you seen Soylent Green?  You know the scene where Sol is listening to a medley of classical music while he’s being euthanized?  If the last thing I ever heard were “Raspberry Heaven”, I would die totally content.

Content Warning: Kimura.

—–

Stray observations:

- I think Kaorin may have been the first unambiguously gay character I saw in any anime.  Sailor Moon or Cardcaptor Sakura would’ve beaten Azumanga to the punch with representation, but I grew up on the butchered-for-pearl-clutching-audiences versions of those shows.

- Kimura has, incidentally, produced one piece of lasting weeb culture.  While trying to save his illustration for a proposed magical girl cheerleading outfit, he drops a picture of a woman.  Tomo picks it up and wonders out loud who it is.  Kimura responds, in heavily-accented English, “my waifu”.  So… yup.  We have him to thank for the whole waifu/hasubando phenomenon.  Or, well, the terminology, since attraction to fictional characters is probably a phenomenon as old as fiction itself.

- More of a fun fact than a stray observation, Kuricorder Orchestra, who collaborated with Oranges & Lemons on the Azumanga soundtrack, recorded two Yotsuba-inspired concept albums, which are also adorable.  They’re hard to come by in official copies, but I can’t help but notice that nobody seems to be stopping anyone from uploading them to YouTube...

- The background music in the cheerleading scene in ep. 6 is the “Grandpa Polka”, a.k.a. “The Clarinet Polka”, which fans of various other weird geeky media may recognize as the melody for the Candy Mountain song in “Charlie the Unicorn” and/or as the song between “Love Shack” and “Pump Up the Jam” in Weird Al’s medley “Polka Your Eyes Out”.

- My junior high, oddly, did have sports festivals somewhat like those depicted in anime, but I don’t hear much about other American schools doing similar things.

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[iliketowrite1996]

Suits and Secret Moments part 5

TRIGGER WARNING- HEARTACHE, MENTIONS OF CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS, BREAK UPS, INSECURTIEIES, MENTIONS OF ILLNESSES, MENTIONS OF ABANDONMENT

again, thanks to @wakanda-inspired, @chaneajoyyy and @syreanne for helping me, and letting me bounce idea off of them!

Also  I’ve never written a  story like this but I am trying new things, so thanks for all who read it. Feedback is welcome, just imbox me  constructive criticism!

     T’Challa

All that glitters is not gold. It’s a saying he’s heard a million times in the past, but one that he didn’t fully understand until the events of the last month transpired.

Because he loves Nakia. He truly does.

They’ve been dating for… a month and a half? Two months? He’s not really sure.

Anyway, he loves this woman. She is smart and funny and kind and sultry and beautiful. Basically, she’s his ideal type. He won’t lie and say that he didn't’ see the same qualities in you, but he saw them in Nakia first. He used to be in love with her and she used to be in love with him.

Check that.

Used to.

Past tense.

Not anymore.

Because he is not the same person that he was before college and neither is she. The woman that he’s currently holding in his laps and pressing kisses to the beck of is not the same woman who broke hi heart when he was seventeen years old. She’s lived and experienced things and traveled and she has a different idea of what love is now. T’Challa found his comfort in other women, she found ehrs in other places.

This is where they differ- she prefers new places to appease her wanderlust.

He prefers new people to ease his mind and aches.

Not better or worse, just different.

. She’s no longer content with hand holding and quick kisses.

She wants commitment and trust and things that T’Challa never thought he could give to any other woman after they broke up.

‘’What’s wrong,’’ Nakias pulls back, shifting so she’s facing him, ‘’You seem distracted.’’

   The glow from the fireplace bashes her dark features in warm light, and T‘Challa feels his stomach drop all over again.

   Are these those butterflies gian?

   Or something else?

   ‘’Nothing, everything is fine.’’

   He doesn't give her time to question him further, instead bringing her full lips back to his own and delighting in the small moan that escapes her mouth at the contact.

   They both grew up and he knows that . They have to let go of what they remember about each other form the past and embrace who they both are in the present. For Nakia, he will. He will change and bend, push and pull, give and take. He’ll become the man she wants, the man he couldn’t be for you. And he won’t tell you that burns something inside of him, just like it did for you.

   Where yours was jealousy, his was an emotion he couldn’t quite figure out.

   ‘’You don’t know what you have until you let it go’’.

   T’Challa has heard this phrase a million times.

   But the upcoming events will let him the true meaning of the words, spearing nothing in making him learn a life lesson.

‘’Girl, how?’’

       ‘’I slept with him, Deena. That’s how.’’

       Your best friend since college glares at you, brown eyes focusing on you as she kisses her teeth in irritation, ‘’You slept with your boss. I know I’ve asked this before, but: How? Why? When?’’

       ‘’We snuck around, because he’s hot and I am too, and a lot. In that order.’’

       ‘’Now you got a whole bun in the oven,’’ ehs looks at your stomach, where the baby you just found out about yesterday is growing.

   ‘’If you came to say that you told me so, please leave,’’ your voice cracks as you look away, the lines in the wallpaper of her apartment suddenly becoming more interesting.

   ‘’Hey. I wouldn't do that to you,’’ Deena reminds you, ‘’I just… how are you feeling?’’

   ‘’Tired. Nervous. Dumb,’’ you roll your eyes, ‘’I actually thought he cared about me.’’    

   And maybe he truthfully did, at a point. But you’re not Nakia, and you could never be Nakia.

   That sends another wave of nausea through you, and you try your best to blink back the tears.

   ‘’If he had just told me,’’ your voice cracks, revealing true sorrow, ‘’That he was moving on, I would’ve been fine. I’m more hurt that he lied to me.’’

   He cared about you, as in he didn’t want to see you hurt. Or, like, s you thought. But he still never had feelings for you. Not if he was going to do this to you.

   You messed around and caught up with him, and he hurt you. Just like Deena said he would, just like you denied so many times before.

   ‘’So…,’’ Deena clears her throat, tossing her curls over her shoulder, ‘’What are you going to to do?’’

   ‘’Go to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow,’’ you shrug, monotone voice matching the way that you currently feel.

   You have a doctor’s appointment at noon tomorrow, to either confirm or deny the answer that the test gave to you.

   ‘’No, I mean…,’’ she gestures with her hands, trying to find the right words, as if she can pull them out of thin air, ‘’What about the baby?’’

   Your mind is reeling. There may actually be a real baby growing inside of you. You don’t even know how far along you may be, and that complicates things even more. Because is the baby T’Challa’s? Is it this new guy’s?

   And how will you tell whoever it is?

   ‘’Hey,’’ Deena waves her hand in front of your face, the flash of cinnamon colored skin bring you back to the real world, ‘’You okay?’’

   You shrug, ‘’I don’t know what I’m going t do, Deena. But, let’s just wait and see what the doctor says. For all I know, that could’ve just been a false positive.’’

   It turns out to be positive. You sit on that for three weeks, feeling that if you don’t speak it out loud, it will somehow all turn out to be a dream, something that i can wake up from.

   But this maybe is as real as your stomach that will soon be growing. And based on how far along you are, you know exactly who the dad of the is.

You have a pretty good idea, but can’t confirm or deny anything until later appointments.

   You’ve been avoiding him for three weeks now, and he’s fed up.

   So when T’Challa stops by your office, tapping on the glass door and addressing you by your surname, you feel a fresh wave of nausea crashing through your stomach and another fine layer of sweat forming on your skin, ‘’Can I speak with you for a moment.’’

   ‘’Of course,’’ you speak, swallowing thickly and feeling like sand dust is in your mouth, ‘’What can I help you with?’’

   T’Challa closes the door behind him, and you feel little fires popping up all over your skin as e strolls closer, grey suit fitting him just perfectly.

   You can’t read the flood of emotions filling his eyes- anger, sadness, and… is that desire?

   Or are you reading too far into this?

   ‘’I have noticed that you haven’t really… looked at me lately,’’ he says slowly, choosing his words carefully, ‘’Not that I blame you. But… I believe we need to talk.’’

   ‘’So go ahead and talk,’’ you drop the professional act, leaning back in your black chair and folding your arms over your chest.

   ‘’Tell me what I can to fix it,’’ he replies, stuffing his hand in his pockets and rocking backwards on his heels.

   He’s nervous.

   ‘’There’s really nothing you can do,’’ you reply simply, ‘’The damage is done, T’Challa.’’

   Because what’s the point in sugar coating this?

   ‘’I know. But… we could still be friends, right?’’

   You’re not sure if you’re more offended by that suggestion, or the fact that he is one hundred percent serious when he asks you about it.

   ‘’We have never been friends, T’Challa,’’ you state cooly, ‘’Even when we were fooling around, we weren’t friends. I can’t ever will be your friend now. I don't trust you.’’

   ‘’Because I got into a serious relationship with woman that isn’t you,’’ he quirked an eyebrow.

   ‘’Because you're a liar and I new it. Because all you do is mess around and i thought I was different. But it’s fine. It’s cool,’’you stand, grabbing your coat,’’Now, I’m going for my lunch break. Is there anything else that you need, Me. Udaku, or may I take my lunch break?’’

   He presses his lips into a firm line before releasing, letting his plump lips that i used to spend hour just tasting show, ‘’No. I think we’re done here.’

   Done with the conversation.

   And done with each other.

   That doble meaning is heavily implied in his deep voice, and the tension in the room is nearly tangible. It couldn't even be cut with a knife it is so thick. So you bundle your coat up, pullin on your hat and scarf before grabbing your bag and exiting your office, leaving T’Challa standing there with a perplexing mixture of emotions swirling up inside of him

   ‘’Hey,’’ you look over to see who disrupted your thoughts as you make your way outside the cold, New York WInd still warmer than your feelings towards T’Challa.

   And lo and behold, who is standing there? The man you’ve been avoiding to the past three weeks. The one you’ve been afraid to tell about the pregnancy, the one who has begged you to commit.

   Here’s something you know: his past was once like T’Challa. Different girl every night. No real relationships. Casual flings and one night stands where his only interactions, nothing romantic on the horizon for this bachelor.

   But he had change of heart after graduating college. He ended up having a child, a beautiful little boy, with the woman who he fell in love with.

   Said woman ditched him.

   Thus, he got a taste of his own medicine, and decide she didn’t like the feeling every much. While you’re usually wary about the way people change, he seems to really have. It’s why you gave him a chance. It’s why you strongly considered committing him.

   Well, until a certain pregnancy test proved what you kind of knew all along.

   ‘’Him,’’ you speak out, turning to face him completely, ‘’What… what are you doing here?’’

   ‘’I came to visit someone, but I’m glad I get to see you. You’ve been avoiding me. I just… if I did some stupid crap that hurt you or something, I wanna know. I waa fix it.’’

   ‘’You can’t,’’ you shake your head, ‘’I just… I’ve been dealing with sme stuff. Didn't wanna bring you into it.’’

   ‘’Hey,’’ he says softly, a stark contrast form his rough demeanor, ‘’I ain’t gonna just bow it. We haven’t known each other for long, but I’ve got real feelings for you. Tell me what’s going on. Plese. I can help you with it.’’

   Maybe it’s the fact that you've been keeping such a huge secret between Deena, your doctor and yourself for nearly a month now.

   Maybe it’s that he’s a ray of sunshine on this cold, blustery fall day.

   Maybe it’s that you’re tired of holding back and want to be honest with him, the way that he is.

   ‘’I’m pregnant,’’ you say, blinking up at the sky as levels continue to fall down around you, the right color a stark contrast from the tone of this conversation, ‘’And I’m not sure if the dad is you or that guy I was seeing before you.’’

   He knows you were seeing someone. He doesn’t need to know that you had a very… vibrant and active love affair with the freaking CEO of the company you work for.

   ‘’I see,’’ he nods.

   That’s it.

   No further elaboration.

   ‘’Well,’’ you begin to turn, ‘’I’ve only got fifteen minutes left on my lunch break. So, if you’ll excuse me.’’

   ‘’I mean,’’ he takes your hand, something that you can tell is still foreign to him on the way he does it,

   Where T’Challa was familiar with intimacy and affection but tried to act like he wasn’t, this man is used to the opposite. He’s getting used to affectionate glances and warm touches from a lover, removing traces of flings and hookups from his mind because he feels that’s the best way for him to do so.

   ‘’If it is my baby… I’m goanna step up. It take care of Darion, you know. I’d… I take care of this baby. And you, too. If we ever get there.’’

   He’s a good man. He really is. And while you still have to wait a while to figure out who the baby belongs to…

   Why shouldn’t you give yourself a chance to move on? TO be with someone that tells you the truth, even when it’s hard?

   ‘’We got a lot to talk about, don’t we,’’ he laughs to try to lighten up the mood.

   And it works.

   Just a bit.

   But it does.

   ‘’Yeah. Erik Stevens, we definitely have a lot to talk about.’’

So… yeah. Switched Erik and T’Challa’s personalities a bit.

Sorry! It was an idea and this may not be good but I had to run with it and try something new.

DISCLAIMER-I OWN NO MARVEL CHARACTERS OR THEIR FICTIONAL WORLDS.

@ashanti-notthesinger​ @destinio1​ @afraiddreamingandloving​ @starsshines-blog​ @airis-paris14​ @syreanne​ @chaneajoyyy​ @90sinspiredgirl​ @shemiahsmelanin @zillmonger @skysynclair19 @bidibidibombaclaat @marvelpotterlove

[houseofgriffons]

Ok, so it was quick to review and comment on all Kdramas I’ve watched because I’ve only fully watched 10. I have hover watched 22 in total, but the remaining 12 I’ve only watched halfway or a 3rd of the way.

This can be explained by my very low attention span and also by the fact that I’m a boring person who only likes romance and uses Kdrama to rub my itch for cheesiness. As such I usually stop after the romance gets resolved and at the first signs of the final Drama™. Or the romance wasn’t interesting enough so I just lost interest.

I will then be reviewing the 10 dramas I’ve watched completely, which are all good and that I like otherwise I wouldn’t have watched ‘til the end. Then I’ll give a quick look on the ones I haven’t watched ‘til the end cause you might like them. I’ll also tell which ones I want to watch, and give you some nimes of popular dramas that look kinda cool but probably won’t retain my interest. Also tell you about the 4 korean movies I’ve actually watched rofl

All of that under the cut !

Part 1 : The good (aka. Things I could watch all the way)

Loosely ranked, but the last 5 are my absolute favourites and I wouldn’t really be able to rank them from 1st to 5th. Chief Kim isn’t in there although I love it because it’s not as deep.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

About a collegiate weightlifting student (Kim Bok Joo, played by Lee Sung Kyung who is ♥ ♥ ♥) and a collegiate swimmer (I only remember two names in that drama, not his lol. The actor is Nam Joo Hyuk and he’s also bae). It’s kind of a slice-of-life show, but it follows their struggle both as athletes and as people. Deals with eating disorders in a pretty underwhelming manner. There’s also my wife in it, Lee Joo Young who plays Bok Joo’s best friend, Sun Ok (the only other name I remember). While it was funny and heartwarming, and the characters were interesting, it was lot of drama on top of drama, and miscommunication and lies are often used as plot devices (it is VERY often the case in kdramas I’ve noticed) and that’s just annoying to me. I basically sped through the last 4 episodes cause I just wanted to be done with it. It was very popular though, and it’sstill a good watch.

Love in the Moonlight

It starts with my favourite plot: a girl who has to dress up as a man. It also has my least favourite plot point: main guy has a gay scare because he thinks girl he likes is a man. But that’s just me. The heroine dresses up as a guy and finds herself enrolled as a eunuch in the palace, where she starts serving the prince. Shit happens and there’s stuff about rebels and all. I wasn’t really paying attention. I think it’s visually lovely, there lots of beautiful scenes. It also has Kwak Dong Yeon who’s one of my fav. I mean. Get a load of this :

How was he not the protag ? Anyway, it’s a nice watch but like a lot of other dramas I think it suffers from unbalanced pacing. The change of tone from the last arc compared to the beginning of the show is also kind of disturbing. The thing is, when you start watching a sweet romance thing with light themes you’re not really in the mood for a heavy political/action plotline by the end, you know ? I rushed through the last episodes cause I just didn’t give a crap lol

Witch’s Court

We’re getting to the good stuff. I didn’t even have to take a break before watching the end of that one !

Yi-Deum is a prosecutor. She’s a selfish and ambitious woman who would do anything to get ahead. But one day she does like one good moral choice and it leads to her being demoted to a new unit which deals in sex crime. As such the show is pretty heavy, but I thought it handled the themes pretty well. She becomes partnered with a newbie who’s a former psychologist. Her mom also disappeared when she was like 16 so that’s something.

Although there are overarching plots, it’s usually a one cas per episode/2 episodes type of deal, which I think helps to keep a balanced pace, while not undermining character developpment.

Character development is HUGE in this show by the way. Cause Yi Deum is a BITCH. And when I say that I don’t mean “Booohoooo she’s mean to the cute guy :’(” no I mean she’s a heartless money grabber with no morals and no empathy AT ALL. Even when she does something good, she does it in a “bad” way. So it’s really enjoyable to see her slooow progress towards being a worthy protagonist. Love her.

W

You know, Take On Me’s music video ? Yeah.

Oh Yeon Joo is an intern in surgery, and the daughter of the famous author of the webcomic W, which tells the story of Kang Chul, a prodigy olympic shooter who was wrongly accused of the murder of his family and turned a new leaf after being proven innocent. He then became a millionaire by creating a crime solving network channel and he catches bad guys yada yada yada. Anyway, he’s not the real star of the show, Yeon Joo is. One day, the two world start overlapping as the forces of two different creative minds collide.

I have found that Korean Dramas are really good with mind bending concepts, and they make for very smart and thought provoking plot points. I watched this with my best friend who got me into Kdramas (it was the secon drama I watched). My friend and I thought the ending was very disappointing though, but I’d say the journey is worth the mediocre destination, and well, opinions might differ.

Yeon Joo carries the show. She’s one of the greatest heroine I’ve ever seen. She’s smart, brave, resourceful. She’s not a ditz but she still retains a girly charm, and she’s got such a strong spirit. It’s a delight to see her and Kang Chul interact, mainly because they’re on equal grounds most of the time. She doesn’t let herself be intimidated by him at all, and she saves his ass as much (if not more) as he saves hers.

Also her and Lee Jong Suk are so fucking hot like omg what a power couple. The good thing is that they are always honest with each other. Because of the fact that the comic is a thing, there is no reason to lie, and even when it’s not because of the comics they remain truthful with each other and I don’t remember miscommunication ever being used as a plot device.

Chief Kim

This one is not about romance at all, it’s about accounting and frauds. It’s hilarious. Kim Sung Ryung is a small time accountants, expert swindler, who works for small town mafiosos. He manages, somehow, to get hired as the director of the accounting department of a large company after the former attempted suicide and ended up in a coma. At the same time, former prosecutor Seo Yool (played by my ABSOLUTE FAVE OF ALL TIMES LEE JUNHO), specialising in frauds, start working as a director at the company, ready to cover all the dark dealings of the company, despite accountant Yoon Ha-Kyung’s effort to uncover the truth behind the suicide attempt. 

How does something about accounting manages to be so funny and still full of suspence ? This got me on the edge of my seat all the way through, and still managed to make me laugh my ass off. The acting can be a bit over the top sometimes, as it is still a comedy show, but Junho and Namgung Min are incredible as a duo. It’s very rare to see a friendship or rivalry take the center of a show instead of a romantic one but their interactions are always so fun to watch. 

I really liked it, I don’t know... I like office stories. The female lead is super cool. She’s smart, level headed, soft hearted, empathetic, and her friendship with Sung Ryung is the kind you rarely see in dramas. 

Page Turner

The shortest drama on the list. It’s only 3 episodes long and IT SHOULD BE LONGER. 

Yoon Yoo Seul is the daughter of a piano teacher, and attends a musical high school. She’s a prodigy pianist rivaled only by her mother’s former student Seo Jin Mok, a rich spoiled brat who hates Yoo Seul bc she’s just that good. Because of an accident, Yoo Seul may have to give up on her mother’s dream of her becoming a famous pianist. Meanwhile, promising athlete Cha Sik faces the same situation and gives up on ever becoming a professional athlete, but he starts considering the piano instead, although he’s never touched a piano ever in his life.

It’s heartwarming, it’s beautiful, it’s raw and soft and it’s hopeful. It’s short so I can’t say much without spoiling stuff but if you need to watch something, watch this. 

While You Were Sleeping

Lee Jong Suk always has good romances. 

Nam Hong Joo (Suzy the Bae ♥) has always had dreams where she foresaw the future. She lives with her mom, who runs a pork restaurant. One day, they get new neighboors; Jae Chan, a newly appointed prosecutor, and his younger brother. AAND honestly I won’t say much more than that because the first episode alone is such a RIDE that it would be spoiling it.

The three main characters are AMAZING. They are funny, resourceful, quirky in unexpected ways, honest and good. And because premonition is a thing, lying and miscommunication is rarely used as well ! The characters are honest with each other, and their relationships develops naturally and “organically” without stealing the thunder of the main plot.

As I said in W, they use the concept perfectly and intelligently. It keeps you on edge and you’re excited to see what will happen next. Also, Jae Chan being a prosecutor, there’s a bit of that case-by-case element going on that I like which helps balancing the pace. I watched it in one go and did not even take a break at some point !

Goblin

If you have ever looked at the Kdrama scene, you’ve probably heard of Goblin. That show’s been a huge phenomenon. I’ve seen it referenced in other dramas a lot, and it’s basically become a cult. And it deserves the praise.

When General Kim Shin was slain by the king he was serving, he became Dokkaebi, a powerful and immortal entity which can only be killed by the goblin’s bride.

900 years later, Ji Eun-Tak is a high school student (she’s 19-20, the age at which korean usually finish high school !) with the ability to see ghosts. Her mother died when she was 10. On that night, she met the Grim Reaper.

And as you can expect from me presenting this to you in such a way, Eun Tak is the Goblin’s bride, though she does not know of the duty that comes with that role. 

The show is funny, beautiful, heartwrenching. The characters are PHENOMENAL, and not just the main protagonists, but you’ll see what I mean. The concepts presented in the show are so interesting ! Especially their vison of death, reincarnation, redemption... It’s an incredible and emotional journey all the way. It doesn’t shy away from sadness and tragedy when it is needed or expected (unlike W *cough*)  and yet manages to leave you elated and smiling (through the tears). A classic that you NEED to watch. And that I wanna rewatch too.

Scarlet Heart : Ryeo

I’ve just noticed that my top dramas are all super sad. 

It’s based on a chinese Drama. After a terrible break up that left her in a ditch, emotionally and financially, the heroine almost drowns during an eclipse. She wakes up in the Josen period as Hae Soo, a young lady in waiting to the wife of one of the 8 princes of the kingdom. As she gets accustomed to this new and strange setting, she gets to know the princes, the schemings of the court, the rivalries and the dangers of that period.

Lee Ji Eun (aka IU) is phenomenal. I think this was her second or third role ever, and her first big role and holy crap she is incredible. Her character is just perfect and it’s really great to see her evolve, grow and try to keep up against this cruel time.  I don’t want to say much about it because i really don’t want to spoil anything.

The story spans over like 15 years if I remember correctly. And what might seem like a cutesy quirky romance period drama turns into something darker and heavier while never losing its spark. It will make you cry, but like, in a good way. That was the first drama I watched with my best friend and it’s awesome and now I kind wanna rewatch it.

Just Between Lovers/Rain or Shine

Rain or Shine never pretended to be cute or happy. It deals with trauma and survivor’s guilt, and it also involve disabled characters. Lee Gang Doo (JUNHO!!!!!) and Ha Moon Soo were both involved in the collapse of a shopping center as teenagers. Now grown up, the experience still haunts them and those around them. Now the site of the incident is going to get rebuilt again, and they will have to face their past.

 I binge-watched this so hard I barely slept. The characters are incredibly human and vulnerable. They bare their soul to the viewer in a way that leaves you completely shaken. And yet amidst all that, what I remember from it is softness (and tears, lots of tears). I think Gang Doo is the most outstanding male protagonist of all the dramas I’ve seen. He’s vulnerable, like. SO VULNERABLE. He’s a coward, he cries, he runs away from his problems, he keeps everything to himself. Moon Soo seems like she’s just a quirky shy girl but she turns out to be so strong, she’s the exact opposite of Gang Doo in a way, but somehow they work together so well. 

As a sidenote, I’d like to add something that striked me when I watched it, pleasantly so. The disabled characters are mentionned retain their agency. One of them is an autistic man, although he might seem like he’s infantilized during the series, in the end he still retains his agency as a person and as an adult and I thought that was really great to see, especially in a Korean drama. The other is a paraplegic woman, and she’s incredible. Despite her situation, she isn’t completely desexualised, she still retains romantic and sexual agency and she is also completely independant, as a successful webcomic artist.

I had a hard time deciding between that one, Scarlet Heart and Goblin for my favourite, but I think that one is closer to my heart. It really touched me in a way I didn’t expect, and I felt so close to the characters, because they were so well written.

Part 2: The Bad (aka Not really, I probably just got bored bc of the aformentioned reasons)

A Korean Odyssey (AKA discount Goblin): it’s an interesting take on the tale of the Monkey King. woman sees ghosts, woman meets weird magical entity. There’s someone killing someone else involved. It’s a bit cheesy, it’s kinda funny. I stopped because it was just drama atop drama and quiproquos and “I’m not gonna tell him/her because I wanna protect her/him but that’s just gonna make it worse !!!!” and that sort of stuff. In my mind it was kind of cheap plot devices. Interesting concepts though, and you could definitely make a nice mash-up with Goblin.

Radio Romance: It’s a cute romance, the cast is good, the heroine is cool, the male lead is cute. I was watching it weekly and at some point I just lost interest. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it. Girl wants to be a writer for the radio, famous actor agrees to hos her show. Drama happens. It’s cute you should watch it if you have a longer attention span than me.

Temperature of Love: Woman meets a guy. She wants to be a writer, he wants to be a chef. One day he disappears, she becomes a writer, he becomes a chef. They meet again. It’s very cheesy, BUT it’s super hot. Yang Se Jong is super cute and he’s really popular atm. I just didn’t care enough to watch completely but I don’t have any real complaint.

Hospital Ship : I ALMOST watched til the end, until there was like a ridiculous plot point because we can’t just let the protags be happy, it needs DRAMA. I love medical dramas. My favourite show is actually Grey’s Anatomy. I love when there are different cases every episode and having the characters try to figure things out. Like, the medical is my favourite part of Medical Dramas, the drama not so much. So I bailed when it was TOO MUCH drama for me. The heroine is cool. It’s a bit on the cheap side, but it has a nice feeling to it.

Doctors : The heroine is a kick ass (litterally), but I didn’t like the romance, and it focused more on the drama than the medical imo. Lots of people like it though, and Park Shin Hye is a phenomenal actress.

School 2017: SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER. Apparently School 20-- are a popular series and each season as nothing to do with the other. This one was great imo, it adressed the pressure in the korean educational system, the corruption, the privilege of rich students, adult indifference, abuse, bullying... And the main protags are great. The heroine is cute and hilarious and strong willed, the male lead is hot, awkward... I didn’t finish it because ... I don’t know, I just interest. Also... Yeah ok spoiler ! So I learned that there wasn’t actually a kiss between the main couple in the show (which has probably to do with the fact that the actress is an idol. Ugh) and so I was like “UHM WHAT’S THE POINT THEN ???” I’m shallow like that

My Secret Romance: Girl has a one night stand on the beach, leaves the guy naked in a car and bails. 3 years later he’s her boss. It’s hot, but SUPER cheesy and SUPER cheap. Like honestly the only reason I watched it was for the romanc but DAMN BANG SUNG HOON IS SUPER HOOOOOT. But hotness can only keep you going for so long and when the plot devices you would expect in a cinderella story happen you’re just like “ugh bye”.

Ms Perfect: I need to finish it. A mom of 2 gets fired, she learns her husband is cheating on her, the mistress dies mysteriously, and also a weird psycho offers to live in her house. I need to finish it but I guess it just got a little too much for me. There’s Sung Joon in it, he’s really cute, i like him a lot. He’s also in the two next dramas.

Madame Antoine: A woman pretends to be a medium channelling the spirit of Marie-Antoinette and teams up with a psychologist (Sung Joon) who’s also conducting an experiment on her. Cheesy. Not that interesting, but the case they study are interesting sometimes. There’s Hwang Seung Eon in it, she’s super hot.

High Society: Basically about the korean Jet Set. Watched for Sung Joon initially. It’s an older one, and I think it’s a bit tacky. It’s also a lot of clichés, and I don’t like the heroine. I love her best friend though, and her relationship with Sung Joon’s best friend in the show, played by Park Hyung Sik. But yeah, it’s not a high IQ show.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: this also has Park Hyung Sik in it. I think he’s really cute. Bong Soon was born with super strength and she wants to work in the video game industry. She meets video game company CEO whatshisname (Park Hyung Sik) and he hires her as his bodyguard and huh stuff happens. It’s cheesy, but somehow super creepy as well cause there’s a serial killer who kidnaps women in it and he’s soooooooooooooooo creepy. But it’s also infuriating cause it’s like “Oh no, a young woman got kidnapped for the fourth time in that area ! *cut to another young woman not giving a shit and walking around that area at night also the police doesn’t patrol the area for some reason*”. It was really popular, but I didn’t really like it.

Tomorrow with you : guys can travel in a few years in time by using the metro, and he tries to set things right using this power. It’s a bit of a mindfuck and it’s kidna complicated to follow. I need to finish it !!!

Hwarang : There is no use watching this. Don’t. The cast is great but that’s just not enough. Terrible pacing, terrible romance, the side characters are way more interesting than the main ones but they get easily sidelined. The pacing is terrible. It has the dumbest death I’ve ever seen, and it was used for shock value.

Shopping King Louie: Fashionista and heir Ji Sung/Louis loses his memory in a failed assassination attempts, and ends up living with country bumpkin Bok Sil, come to Seoul to find her missing brother. I stopped watching in the last lap, basically the final obstacle was showing its head and I was like “yeah that’s enough for me”. It’s really cute. 

I almsot forgot

Hit the top: artist from the early 90s travels in time to 2017 and starts living with a young man who dreams of becoming an idol who is actually his son. Didn’t like the way the romance went. Like. I really was against it. The male lead is annoying. Minjae is better.

Hip Hop Teacher: it got cancelled but FUCK IT WAS USPER GAY IT HAD LEE JOO YOUNG IN IT AS A TERRIBLE MUSIC TEACHER WHO RAPS AT NIGHT AND YURA WAS LIKE jdsiughergegreg there’s only 2 parts but watch them if you can cause it makes my wlw soul live

Part 3: The pretties, aka things I wanna watch

My Mister: just because IUs in it. She looks incredible.

Mr Sunshine: it has Kim Tae Ri !!!! Aka the handmaiden from The Handmaiden !!! It takes place in 19th century Joseon ! It adresses japanese ccupation !!!! Rebel princess !!! Korean victorian drama !!! The hot dad from Memories of the Word is there !!!!

The Great Seducer: Minjae just looks super hot in it idk but I bet he doesn’t get the girl and I’m gonna be mad.

Memory and Wok Of Love cause Junho’s in it lol.

The Ghost Detective, Something in The Rain, cause it jas Lee Joo Young in them

Part 4: Things you might want to watch

These are pretty popular, but I’m not that interested myself, you might like them.

Juggles; office romance, looks kinda steamy, the male lead is super hot

The Bride of Habaek; based on the comic Bride of The Water-god. Reallyyyyyy hot. Has Nam Joo Hyuk in it. IDDK I heard it’s good

Fight for my way: i have no idea what it’s about, but the main characters’ relationship looks cute

Legend of the Blue Sea: modern take on the Little Mermaid. The male lead is a swindler who uses hypnosis, the heroine is funny because she looks very mature and hot but she’s a mess of derp

Descendants of the Sun: it’s about a female doctor who gets sent to Afghanistan I think ?????? Everyone always praises it

Part 5: the movie

Royal Tailor: the tailor of the royal family seeks the help of an innovative tailor who usually works for prostitutes. It’s not a happy movie. Beautiful

Pirates: You wanna see kickass women kick asses ? This is for you. Your more typical martial arts movie

Memories of the sword: If you like women kicking ass too, but you also want to cry. It has Kim Go Eun, and also Junho !!!!! And the guy from Mr. Sunshine. Loved it. But super sad. Not a happy movie at all. But very cool and visually pretty.

The Handmaiden: I mean I don’t even need to explain it. If you haven’t watched it, just know that, as Park Chan Wook movies tend to, it is VERY WEIRD and unsettling. 

The Last Train to Busan: ZOMBIE MOVIES !!!! It has the main actor from Goblin in it !!!! It is super cool because it’s not just “UGH zombiiiies ! Smash heads ! Violence ! Scary ooooh !” it is also a critic on greed and selfishness (and not as something stupid like “yeah zombies are actually a metaphor for consumerism”) it makes you think, it keeps you on edge, it’s not overly scary but it’s still manages to give you good scares and has some very tense moments. LOVE IT.

WOOOOOOOOOH I AM DONE. This took me 3 HOURS TO WRITE can you believe it ??? I hope this was helpful. Don’t take some of my critics to heart, I’m harsh when it comes to that sort of stuff, and very particular. If you need to watch somehting. Go for my top 5 ! Thank you for trusting my opinion that much <3

[myassbrokethefall]

What is your history of failed ships? Please share!

WELL. Let me give you a full rundown. I’ll go in chronological order. 

1. George and Kate, Mathnet. Yes, Mathnet, which was part of a PBS kids’ math show called Square One TV. Mathnet was the first TV show I was obsessed with when I was a youngster. It was a dry parody of Dragnet and my friends, it was hilarious. And Kate Monday (Monday…Friday…get it) and George Frankly, the two mathematician-detectives who used mathematics to solve crimes for the LAPD (later the NYPD), were VEEERRRRYYY proto-Mulder and Scully. I HAVE entertained a crackpot theory that CC somehow saw this show and it informed his creation of XF. I can go on about this another time. But anyway – I loved George and Kate. I did not really ever expect them to “get together” – George was married (probably so little twerps like me wouldn’t get any ideas), and it was a kids’ show. (I, also, was a kid.) But OH, they were fun together and every moment of married bickering that they had, I treasured. I taped the Mathnet episodes (on our extremely new VCR that none of us knew how to work), and folks, I invented fanfic. That is, I felt compelled to write stories about Kate and George, which I did, A LOT, and I had no idea this was a thing that other people did. I certainly wrote stories about Kate and George falling in love and getting married, among other topics. 

After 3 seasons the woman who played Kate left the series (she later said that she literally could not afford to continue to do the job because the pay was so low and she couldn’t support her family – public television, y’all), and was replaced with a new character. Let me tell you, this was the first true HEARTBREAK of young myassbrokethefall’s life. DAMN YOU, PAT TUESDAY. (Some people fall on the Pat side of this divide. GO AHEAD AND BLOCK ME IF THIS IS YOU. KATE FOREVER)

2. Picard and Crusher, Star Trek: TNG. Seven years I shipped the living fuck out of those assholes. (I wrote quite a lot of fanfic for them as well.) (And also a spec script, for nerdly funsies.) Seven years I was teased. Seven years Beverly Crusher was extremely underutilized, to my everlasting frustration. (Actually: six years! For one of the years, Season 2, Gates McFadden was randomly fired, and I had another life crisis the likes of which I had not seen since Kate Monday was written off of Mathnet. Luckily she was reinstated the following year.) They did actually kiss a couple of times! And I learned that a videotape WILL eventually get worn out if rewound enough in a single spot.

The final episode? A flash forward in time, in which it’s revealed that they did get together, and got married, but then got divorced; in the future timeline in which most of the episode took place, they were exes. So: offscreen. Story of my life. CUTE, FOLKS. Cute. 

3. Mulder and Scully, The X-Files. From TNG I leapt right into this shitshow that you may have heard of. Cut to: everything, forever, for the last 20-some years of my life. I hate them so much. (I love them so much)

4. Monk and Sharona, Monk. I didn’t really ship them either; I just liked watching them together and I loved their married-y back-and-forth relationship. This was a show that I got into after XF ended (the first time) and it was fun to have the ol’ obsessive fires starting to spark for a TV show again. It was not a great show necessarily, but it had its moments, and the chemistry was good, and I was excited to watch the relationship grow and change over the life of the show. I even dabbled in fanfic. Then the actress who played Sharona got fired in the midst of contract disputes after 3 seasons and was replaced with a new character. Having just experienced Season 8 and 9 of XF, I cold-turkey quit watching the show immediately because I wasn’t about to be going through another Doggett scenario (or Pat Tuesday scenario, or Dr. Pulaski scenario). (Again, among the approximately 11 people left alive who remember Monk, there are Sharona loyalists and Natalie loyalists. Natalie loyalists, do not interact.)

5. Benson and Stabler, Law & Order: SVU. Despite the sexual tension oozing from their every pore for every moment they were on screen together (and hilariously played up at every possible opportunity by the actors, who were bros 4 lyfe offscreen), those fuckfaces HUGGED TWICE in the entire, what, 13-YEAR span that Chris Meloni was on the show? Then he left. Kill me. 

6. Ichabod and Abbie, Sleepy Hollow. UST, UST, UST, UST, adorable chivalry, they were super precious and delightful and I was all good and settled in for a slow burn that IT WAS CLEAR they were the end game for (and Ichabod’s wife didn’t even bother me; I was like guys, they’re obviously going to kill her off at some point, they’re choosing their moment and y’all just need to be patient, would you like to hear about how I have suffered with TXF by any chance, you’re all amateurs and you know nothing) – then the show went down in flames when they killed off Abbie and tried to reboot everything. (Are you counting? This was the SIXTH. TIME. that had happened to me.) As with Monk, I immediately and permanently peaced the fuck out, but it only lasted one more season anyway, because so did everyone else. 

7. Back to Mulder and Scully. I think it’s fair to count them twice. Because, as you might know, there’s been this revival. Sigh. Sigh. 

We won’t even get into The Gillovny Corollary, which was its own special, separate shitshow. ✌️ 

So, anyway. As you can see, I’m cursed. Sorry about that.