#anyway that apparently released a bunch of blood into the tooth

[sassysnowperson]

Tooth has been hurting for the last few days, gave up and called the dentist with a...when can you fit me in? An hour? Oh, yeah, I’ll, uh, make that work. Sounds good.

Went to dentist, described the pain as best I could. They made confused faces, took x-rays, shoved some cold things at my teeth, and then my dentist sighed and told me, “Well, sometimes teeth just die.”

And THAT’s gonna haunt me for the rest of my waking days.

[oldfashionedmoth]

Lonely Voldy

Find me on AO3

Lightening streaked across the blackened sky, illuminating the twisted shapes of trees in the foreground. Rain bitterly thrashed against Lucius Malfoy’s face as he hurriedly strode down the garden path. The sharp pain in his forearm pulsated even more intensely, stirring a greater sense of nervous urgency in his belly. Truth be told, he had been feeling more and more conflicted about his allegiance to The Dark Lord as of late. Narcissa had been so worried about their son, Draco, showing interest in joining the rebellion, and Lucius’ own participation in the Dark Lord’s plans had become a source of conflict in their marriage. Lucius longed for the simpler times, before His Dark Lord’s return. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to steel his thoughts.

“Don’t give him any reason to suspect your reluctance,” he said to himself.

The Dark Lord was very accomplished at occlumency, and any sign of disloyalty would have been disastrous for himself and his family. He could almost taste the passion and vigor with which his master had cast the summoning spell, that made his dark mark glow. He felt that this night was different somehow. So much was riding on this evening going well. His master needed his assistance, and he was going to answer the call.

He cursed under his breath as he approached the obscured house. A series of charms and hexes had prevented him from apparating any closer, and the 5-minute walk in the tempestuous storm had soaked him to the bone. He paused in the doorway, wiped his limp, soggy hair out of his face, and knocked 3 times. The door opened a crack and two beady eyes peered out, warily. Lucius’ lips receded in contempt. “Step aside, Wormtail, before you lose your other hand,” he sneered, forcing the door open wider. Peter Pettigrew retreated into the darkness of the foyer, allowing Lucius room to step inside. As his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, he could see that he hadn’t been the only one summoned by His Dark Lord.  To his left stood Hogwarts professor, Severus Snape. That was to be expected. Snape had recently regained The Dark Lord’s confidence, and had become one of his most trusted advisors. He and Lucious had once been good friends, but they seemed to have drifted apart over the years. He thought, perhaps, he would try to re-engage with Snape. Having an ally close to the top could prove to be advantageous to his own position, and in turn put Narcissa’s mind at ease. More surprisingly, Lucius noted that Barty Crouch Jr. was also in attendance. Poor chap. He had become a shell of his former self, ever since that blasted Cornelius Fudge decided to bring a Dementor into the courtroom during his trial. Barty stood now, facing the corner, eyes unfocused and unaware of his surroundings. Such a pitiful waste of talent. He had been a very promising young wizard, and an asset to His Dark Lord, to be sure. It was so sad to see what became of him since receiving the Dementors kiss. The door behind Lucius sharply flung open, and a hulking figure stepped inside. In a swift movement it grabbed Peter by the back of the neck, lifted him to meet his own shadowed face, and grumbled, “I knew I smelled a rat!” Severus sniffed and muttered under his breath, “And. I. Smell. Wet. Dog.” Fenrir Greyback snarled, dropped the sniveling Peter to the floor, and turned to loom over Severus, menacingly. Severus stood his ground, unflinching. A long serpentine hiss emanated from the shadows, breaking up the scuffle. Nagini, The Dark Lord’s faithful boa constrictor, weaved herself around the men’s feet, heralding her master’s entrance.  The parlour doors pitched open with gusto as his eminence rushed forward, robes billowing behind him. “Gentlemen, you’re LATE! I expect you have a good reason for keeping me waiting?” Lucius could feel the butterflies in his stomach grow. He hated to disappoint his master. The repercussions could be disastrous. He could sense the others shift uncomfortably beside him, indicating that they felt similarly. No one wanted to be singled out, and on the receiving end of His Dark Lord’s wrath. “Come! We have much to discuss.” Voldemort said, ominously, before he abruptly turned and disappeared into the parlour. Lucius gulped and hesitantly followed the group. They entered the parlour to see six sleeping bags laid out in a semicircle around the hearth of the fireplace. “M’Lord. What. Is this?” Drawled Severus “How long have I known you Snape? Years? Decades even? But do we even really *know* each other at all? What’s my favourite colour, Snape?” Voldemort queried.

“M'lord?” Snape replied.

“My favourite colour. What is it?”

“Green, perhaps?”

“WRONG! It’s crimson! The same colour of the blood of the innocent, whom I shall slaughter, in the quest for ultimate power! See, you’d know that, if we hung out more.” said Voldemort “I decided we needed a bit of bonding time. The six of us. A bunch of dudes, getting to know one other, just, chillin’.”

“And. The sleeping bags?”

“Well, I thought it would be fun if we pretended we were camping. We can roast marshmallows and tell spooky stories.”

Severus, Lucius, Peter, and Fenrir all began to snicker at their Lord’s perceived sarcasm. Barty remained emotionless, swaying in the doorway.

“IMPERIO!!!!” Voldemort exclaimed, waving his wand over his guests. Involuntarily, the men found themselves choosing a sleeping bag and sitting around the fireplace. Even Barty, lumbered into place.

“Sorry about that,” Voldemort said, releasing them from the curse. “I didn’t want to bust out an unforgivable curse, this early in the evening, but my patience runs thin for your reluctance to follow orders! Somebody make me a s’more!”

Peter scrambled to put a marshmallow on a skewer for his master. The others sat in awkward silence.

“Ahh, this is nice, isn’t it?” pondered Voldemort. “It’s been a while since I enjoyed a campfire. We used to have a bonfire quite often, you know. Quirrell and I.”

Voldemort bit his bottom lip, and swallowed the lump in his throat.

 “Ahh, Quirrell. He used to tell the scariest stories! Kept me up at night. Would you like to hear one?”

Barty stared listlessly into the fire. The others exchanged puzzled looks.

“Ok, once upon a time there was a boy named Tim, who lived in an orphanage. One night, he heard a strange noise on the staircase outside his room. Pat-pat, pat-pat, pat-pat. It seemed to be getting closer. Pat-pat, pat-pat, pat-pat. He soon heard the noise right outside his room. Pat-pat, pat-pat, pat-pat. Terrified, Tim hid under his bed. Eventually he could hear his bedroom door open. Pat-pat, pat-pat, pat-pat. The creature waddled towards Tim’s bed. He could see its little toes, coming closer and closer. Pat-pat, pat-pat, pat-pat. Suddenly it bent down and looked under the bed, at Tim. It was a…BABY!!!”

Voldemort jumped at Lucius, imitating a child’s giggles.

Unimpressed, Lucius asked, “Is that it?” as he recoiled away from His Dark Lord’s tickles.

“Yeah. Quirrell used to tell it better than I do.” replied Voldemort wistfully.

“Where’s the scary part?” asked Peter.

“It was a BABY! Babies are terrifying.”

“No. They’re. Not.” retorted Snape.

Barty continued to watch the flames in the fireplace.

“Ok well, what if it was a murderous baby, coming to kill you? Pretty scary then, right?” questioned Voldemort.

“No, babies are pretty easy to overpower.” Said Fenrir.

“That’s what you think!!!” screamed Voldemort. “Forget it! I had enough of the spooky stories. It’s not the same without Quirrell, anyway.”

After a moment of uneasy silence, Voldemort exclaimed, “I know! Let’s make prank Floo calls. I’ll go first!!”

He put on a Deatheater mask to disguise himself, threw a handful of Floo powder into the fireplace, and stuck his head inside. In the flames, the image of Bellatrix Lestrange could be seen.

“M’lord, is that you?”

“Is your muggle food storage device running?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Is your muggle food storage device running?”

“M’lord I know it’s you. I can see Nagini in the background.”

“You better catch it!”

“M’lord, we’ve been through this. You’ve gotta stop calling me like thi…”

Voldemort cut off the connection before she could continue, as he hysterically cackled at his own joke.

“Ok Fenrir, it’s your turn.” He said, tossing him the mask.

“Fenrir smirked and donned the mask. He threw the Floo powder into the fireplace. This time Lucius’ wife, Narcissa, came into view.

“Hello?”

“I want to speak to Amanda Shagg.” He said gruffly.

“I’m sorry, you must have reached the wrong home. There’s no one here by that name.”

“Are you sure? I think you’d know Amanda Shagg, when you see ‘em.”

“No, I don’t know Amanda Shagg.”

“Well look no further, Darling. I’ll be right over.”

“What the Hell! That’s my wife!” Lucius exclaimed angrily. He grabbed his pillow and smacked Fenrir across the face with it. Fenrir retaliated.

“PILLOWFIGHT!!!!” cried Voldemort gleefully. He quickly charmed all the pillows to fly at Fenrir’s face, all at once.

Fenrir emerged from the pile of pillows and feathers, holding his mouth. “My tooth. You knocked my bloody tooth out! It was the gold one too!” He frantically searched, on his hands and knees, for the gold tooth.

“C’mon guys. You’re all being a total snoozefest. You know what we need to liven up the party?”

“Copious amounts of. Alcohol?” asked Snape dryly.

“No. Well, yes, maybe? But no. I was thinking a parlour game!” Voldemort shouted. “Quirrell and I used to pass so many hours together playing games. My favourite was when I’d close my eyes, and he’d hide somewhere in the house. Then, when I opened my eyes, I had to guess where we were. Haha. Good times, good times.”

“M’lord, it’s really getting late. I should be heading home soon.” Lucius said.

“Oh no, you’re sleeping over all night. That’s what the sleeping bags are for,” snapped Voldemort. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to miss us putting Wormtail’s hand in warm water, so he pees himself, do you?”

Peter looked up incredulously.

Barty flopped back into the pile of pillows and stared at the ceiling. “Let’s play Sardines. It’s like reverse hide and seek. I’ll go hide, and you all have to come find me. If you do, you have to hide in the same spot with me, until the last person finds us. Ok, count to 100, then come find me.” Peter dutifully began counting as soon as his master had left the room. Fenrir smacked the back of his head. 

“Don’t be such a brown-noser, Rat! Let’s get this over with.” Together, the men set out to find where their master had hidden. Fenrir looked behind curtains; Peter looked behind doors; Severus looked under furniture; Barty wandered aimlessly; Malfoy discovered a dark ebony armoire, trimmed with carved wooden serpents, and decorated with an ornate crystal door handle. Lucius jerked his head towards the cabinet, and gestured to his fellow seekers that they should check in there. “You found me!” exclaimed Voldemort, as the gang threw open the door. “That was quick!” “Good, game over,” said Fenrir, turning to leave. “Not so fast. You all have to hide in here, with me, until the last person finds us.” said Voldemort. “We ARE all here” said Snape. “Nope, Barty hasn’t found us yet. Quick, get in before he sees us.” The four seekers piled inside the armoire. Peter’s head was in Fenrir’s armpit; Fenrir’s elbow was in Lucius’ ear; Lucius’ knee was in Severus’ rear; and Severus and Voldemort stood cheek-to-cheek.

“Something. Smells. Like garlic,” remarked Snape.

“Yeah, some of Quirrell’s old turbans are hung over there.”

“You haven’t gotten rid of them yet?” Lucius questioned.

“No, Malfoy! I just…haven’t got around to it, yet.” Voldemort replied. “W-we aren’t going to stay crammed in here like this, until Barty finds us, are we?” Peter whimpered

“That’s the name of the game, Wormtail. We’re crammed in here like…SAR-DINES!” Voldemort said, chuckling.

Does Barty even know he’s meant to be looking for us?” asked Lucius. “This is. Madness.” complained Severus, “There’s just. Not. Enough room. For five of us in. Here.”

Severus quickly cast an Undetectable Extension Charm, making the inside of the armoire grow in size, while leaving the size of the exterior unchanged.  Each wizard retreated to an opposite corner, as far apart as possible, with Voldemort left standing in the middle. “Hey man, that’s cheating,” Voldemort warned Severus, “Good job. I like your gumption.” “I-I think I hear him coming.” Peter squeaked

The others quieted to listen for the approaching Barty. They could hear him shuffling along the floor, and bumping into walls. Fenrir began whistling and PssPssPssing, to draw him in the direction of the armoire. Eventually, Barty poked his head inside the cabinet and commented, “Bigger on the inside,” before stepping inside and closing the door. “Ok gang’s all here. Let’s go.” Fenrir gruffed, reaching for the door handle, which was no longer there. “The braindead fool must have ripped off the door knob!” Bellowed Fenrir, blaming Barty. “Bugger this! I’m not being trapped inside this box with you lot, all night!” He reached for his wand and blasted the doors open. “Alright then,” said Voldemort, “A bit overkill, but ok. Let’s just go to bed then, shall we? Crankypants!” He led his guest back to the parlour yelling “Last one back is going to marry Dumbledore!”

Eventually, they settled into their sleeping bags and turned off the lights. All was still, except for the crashing storm outside. “Hey, Barty. You asleep?” Voldemort rolled onto his tummy, rested his chin in his hands, and kicked his feet in the air behind him. “Truth or dare?” Barty stared blankly at the ceiling.  “Alright, TRUTH!" Voldemort continued, unperturbed by Barty’s lack of response, "Who was the last person you kissed?” Barty’s head lolled to the left. “Oh jeeze, was that insensitive? I forgot about the whole Dementor thing. Sorry, my bad!” Voldemort said, “Ok Barty, now it’s your turn to ask someone.” Voldemort placed his hand on Barty’s chin and began moving his mouth up and down. In a high-pitched voice he said, “Snape, truth or dare?” Severus did not reply. “Who do you have a crush on?” Voldemort asked, via his Barty-puppet Snape remained tight-lipped. Peter began to tease. “I know who he used to have a crush on. I bet he still holds a flame for her too. L-I-L-Y!” “Lily? Didn’t I kill her?” Voldemort mused, as he let go of Barty’s head, and grimaced at Snape’s stone-cold face. “Uhh, hey, sorry about that, man. Tough break!” After a pause he continued, “Ok Snape, it’s your turn to ask someone.” Snape hesitated, but thought better of challenging Voldemort.

“Malfoy. Truth. Or. Dare?” “I don’t know. Dare?” Lucius offered, exasperated. “I. Dare you. To. Let. Me. Brew you a potion. Which you. Must. Drink,” Snape suggested. “Very well then,” Lucius replied. Snape got up, entered the kitchen and went to work making Lucius his potion. “Ok” said Voldemort said to Lucius, “Your turn to ask someone.” Lucios sighed and said, “Wormtail, Truth or Dare?” “T-truth,” Peter mumbled. “Are you REALLY loyal to our Dark Lord?” “I, umm, well, y-yes, of c-course,” stammered Peter. “Wormtail knows better than to cross me. Don’t you Wormtail?” Voldemort warned, raising his wand to touch the tip of Peter’s nose. “I, would n-never!” Peter cried, as he shielded his face with his hand; the light glinting off his silver fingers. “Umm, Snape, how’s that potion coming?” Malfoy called out, hoping to break the tension. Severus entered, holding an ornate goblet filled with a bubbling concoction. “This. Will have to. Do,” Severus said “It’s not quite. Finished. But I seem. To have. Misplaced my spoon.” He handed Lucius the cup. Before he could take a sip, the group were startled by a loud *thooonk* “MY HAND!” cried Peter, lifting the empty stump where his silver hand once sat. A mischievous little niffler scampered off with the hand, but not before looking back and flashing a hint of gold in its mouth. “My tooth! The little bugger’s got my tooth!” roared Fenrir, lumbering after the rodent. Fenrir, Peter and Nagini frantically attempted to catch the niffler; crashing into furniture and knocking over knick-knacks. “Drink up.” Severus said to Lucius, with a wink, and whispered more quietly, “Trust me.” Curious, amongst the pandemonium that the fleeing niffler had caused, Lucius took a sip of Severus’ potion. Immediately, a long rattling wheeze escaped his lungs. The feeling of drowning overcame him, and he began to gasp for air. “Oh Darn. I must have. Mixed up the shiitake mushrooms with. The death-cap mushrooms. I seem to have. Accidentally brewed. Death-Cap Draught.” Snape said, to the room. Lucious’ eyes widened in horror. “I have a bezoar. At home. We’ll have to. Leave. Unfortunately,” Snape continued, with a slight smirk. “Oh, if you must!” lamented Voldemort “We’ll have to re-schedule our team building exercises for another time then. I hear paintball is a hoot.” Peter and Fenrir paused their pursuit of the niffler, to gawk at their master.

Severus, stared at him dumbfounded.

Lucius continued coughing and retching.

A single drop of drool fell from the corner Barty’s mouth. “No? How about lazer tag? Less messy.” Voldemort looked at them with an excited grin, “Or I know! How about one of those breakout rooms, that’s all the rage with the muggles? We could go in there and alohomora that shit. We’ll have it solved in record time, and the muggles will think we’re geniuses! I mean, I actually am a genius, but you could be too! C’mon man! What d’ya say??” “Gotta catch that niffler,” Peter and Fenrir say together, edging for the door.

“Must. Be off. Before Malfoy. Bites it.” Snape quips, grabbing a handful of floo powder.

Lucius clutched at Severus’ robes, while panting for air.

Barty’s head drooped to his chest. As the others left, Voldemort approached Barty, sitting on the floor.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me now. Hey pal?” Voldemort said, giving him a nudge.

Barty fell over. Voldemort propped him back up, into a seated position. He placed a marshmallow on the end of a skewer, poked the skewer in the crook of Barty’s elbow, and positioned the marshmallow towards the fire. He then slowly turned, and slid himself down to the floor, back-to-back with Barty. He leaned his head back, to rest against the back of Barty’s head, and sighed. Almost as a whisper, he began to softly sing.

”I am happy as a squirrel, as long as I’m with Mr. Quirrell…”

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Wait what's the story about half the boys in your grade getting your class kicked out of Disney world?

Okay, if anyone is going to read this story, you are legally required to listen to the song “Turbulence” first. Nothing will truly make sense without it. You sit your ass through the entire damn song, if you try to skimp out on it the Elder’s will find you. It’s completely vital to the full experience of this stupid ass story. This ENTIRE story exasperates me

Now, okay, so my high school senior class….was relatively a group of good kids. It was a larger grade then I was used to growing up, so I obviously didn’t know everyone in the school personally, but I could pretty much recognize everyone in my grade, and like okay, there were a lot of class clowns and trouble makers™, but for the most part, no one was really a dick and everyone was generally a Decent Person.

Then, for some ungodly reason, the song ‘turbulence’ gets released. 

Now, I think the song actually came out in like, 2011 or something, but it caused Notable Problems with my grade in particular. It was deemed our ‘CLASS SONG’, and every time it played at an event or someone just played it for fun on their phone or something, every single kid in my age group just unexplainably went crazy. You never really knew what was going to happen, and it got worse each and every year- making senior year the year of Worried Faculty, and not without reason. 

Senior Year alone, before this Disney incident happened, the song ‘turbulence’ lead directly to the slightly-violent concussion of an unwillingly crowd surfing teacher and a few freshmen at homecoming, and it was also being blasted on a blue tooth speaker when a couple of boys in my class Lowkey Very Politely High-Jacked The Plane We Were On, so, when we got to Disney World, the chaperones made sure to contact whoever was in charge of our party and told them under no circumstances was this song to be played.

Anyway.

So the school does a Disney trip for the seniors every year- they stay in a cheap hotel and shove four or five withering and hormonal teens in a room, they go to the parks during the day, one night they walk through Universal and see the Blue Man Group in concert, and one night they usually have a big dinner and dance party for the kids, usually held in Sea World. 

But, you know what came out when they were planning the Disney trip? Blackfish. So, the school board (and a lot of the students) were like “UMM-” and that left them scrambling to find a new location for the party. 

The Disney workers, being Disney workers, were super helpful when the school mentioned this issue when they called to make reservations, though. They were like, “Oh, this is great timing! Your school always brings such well-behaved kids every year, and we’ve been thinking about opening up our Fantasia Gardens golf course as a party location! You guys could be our first official party!” and the school was super flattered so they agreed. Disney was providing a dance floor, food, a DJ, and everything else, and it wasn’t going to really cost anything extra, so the faculty was like, Super Excited about it. They thought this was gonna be a great thing, they were the experiment to see if they would try this with other schools, it was an honor, and it meant that they had a great reputation in Disney’s opinion, so maybe they’d be open to providing the school with free/new stuff/opportunities in future years.

Now, let me tell you something- I was Kinda Fucking Miserable for most of this trip. The first day was fine, but the second day saw my friends abandoning me in Magic Kingdom with barely any explanation, so I spent all day roaming MK and Epicot alone, save for occasionally standing next to acquaintances and talking to my different-school friends in a group chat on my phone, and then later that night my friend since third grade like, got a school official and cried to her about how I had instigated a fight and that’s why I was alone all day, which is literally such bullshit and not what happened, it‘s been 3 years and I still cannot believe she actually pulled this fuckery, so even though we made up later in the week I was still pissed the fuck off for the rest of my life the trip. All of my roommates (the deserters) were walking on eggshells around me, except this one control-freak girl who tried to micromanage everything I did (even though literally none of it affected her)  and none of us realized how pissed off I was until I apparently physically threw her out of the bed while I was in a deep sleep, multiple times, and also stole her pillow. So the only person who I wasn’t Fully Done with was this tiny girl from a writing class, but she was potentially Half-Hamster, exclusively wore clothes made for seven year olds, couldn’t go on half of the rides because of her glass eye, and 99% of her conversation points was talking about all the plans she had to hang out with one of the other girls I was rooming with (who didn’t actually wanna hang out with her/got mad at me the third day there because the boy she liked was flirting with me), so like…she was sweet but I also wanna go on rides and not hear how great the girls I’m lowkey in a Blood Feud with are, you know? She wasn’t exactly prime hang out material here. So by the time we get to this party at Fantasia Gardens, we’re all lowkey pretending like everything’s fine but like. It wasn’t hard to tell there was fighting going on. And you could just look at all the other students around you and see there was also fighting going on. Shoving so many kids in hot rooms is never a good idea, like YIKE. 

Anyway, I needed something at this party to be fun. I needed to be released at this point. 

I walk into the place and immediately realize I’m a fucking outlier amongst the girls- every single girl had opted for a sundress, whilst I thought a black skirt and a nice blouse would be enough. This should not have been a problem, but hey. High School. What can ya do. (it just made me more stressed) At this point I was like, this is it, this is it, I hate literally everyone in my high school. There’s nothing holding me back. Graduation take me the fuck away. But I had to make it through this party and then one more day in Disney. 

The room was like, a barn, kind off? Or at the very least it had been decorated like one. There was barbecue food, a dance floor, a lake outside, and a mini-golf course that we were told we were allowed to use at any part of the night. The DJ was playing relatively normal dance/club music. After about an hour of strobe lights and watching people dancing, My Friend Who Hath Betrayed Me and I decided to head down to the mini-golf course. 

There were these two guys there, and I didn’t really know them but they were clearly those ‘All Our Classmates Are Beneath Us Because We’re Alternative And Like Anime And Heavy Metal Music’ types of guys. They took one look at my ass in a tight black mini-skirt and immediately started flirting with me, and on any other occasion I would have shot them down, but 1) They were both actively focused on me over my friend, who I was still mad at and 2) I was frustrated - so I started flirting back even though I wasn’t interested in the slightest (and I had petty reasoning, of course, but I was 18, it was a bad week, it was 100 degrees, give me a break. I promise 99% of the time I’m not Awful). So anyway, we get caught up in a game of mini-golf with these anti-establishment boys, who spend the entire time dissing our classmates for, like, dancing, and looking for excuses to show off in front of me/touch me. We missed like half the dance because of this. 

Right when we were finishing our game, we were contemplating going to the other golf course (I was looking for an excuse to head back to the party tbh we were literally the only four people outside it was starting to feel like the set up to a horror movie) when a girl came up and told us to head back in because the boys™ had busted out the alcohol and we only had a limited amount of time before the chaperones noticed. 

(They sold alcohol at our hotel, a bunch of people had fake id’s made before the trip for this very reason). Me and my friend didn’t actually feel like drinking but we took the excuse and the boys followed us back inside (we lost them on the dance floor and I only saw them once again that night). Anyway, we arrived to what we thought was Chaos, but was truly only the Beginning of Chaos. 

Right off the bat, I noticed the boys from my Gov class and the boys I knew from detention were huddled around each other, muttering under the music. That, I knew, was not gonna lead to anything good. They see me, and they’re like “Javert! Javert people trust you! Go request that the DJ play turbulence!” and I’m like. No. What are you fucking planning??? But they just keep pressing me. They would not drop it oh my God. One of my roommates overhears this, the one who’s mad at me because her crush she never talks to was slightly flirting with me earlier, and she’s in a petty™ mood so she asks why they want it to play but they still won’t tell her, just keep insisting that it has to happening. So she’s all, ‘I can get it to play’ and struts off to the DJ booth with an exaggerated ponytail snap. I’m left with these boys like. For fucks sake please don’t get anyone killed. 

A few boys break off to go tap people and let them know what’s going on. The smell of alcohol is strong. Boys are starting to discreetly take off their shoes and any valuables and hide them under the tables. The chaperones aren‘t noticing any of this. 

I broke away from the dance floor to get a soda, and one of the teachers sees me looking mildly distressed and asks if something’s wrong. And I know. I know that I have the power to kill whatever the hell is about to happen. I’m the sole person in this room that’s clued in who’s not whispering in excitement and waiting for the song to play. I still don’t even know what they’re all planning on doing, but I could end this so fast, just say the words ‘turbulence’ or ‘the boys’ or ‘senior prank’, and this would be nipped in the bud immediately. This could be over before it ever started, all because of me.

And then I reflect on how shitty my weeks been going, how I was frustrated with most of the people in the room, how I needed something fun to happen at this party to release me from hell. 

I tell the chaperone I’m fine, just getting a little tired, and they drop it and head back to the buffet line. 

I head back to the dance floor. Everyone is grinding with baited breath. 

The DJ’s voice comes over the microphone: “I hear it’s someone’s birthday tomorrow! Let’s play her favorite song!”

Turbulence begins to play.

The class goes wild, wilder than they’ve ever been before. The building may as well be shaking from all the noise and music. 

The teachers are trying to get the DJ’s attention to cut the song. He can’t hear them. 

The bass drops. 

Almost every boy on the dance floor screams, runs outside, rips off their shirts and jumps into the fucking lake. 

It was absolute PANDEMONIUM. This wasn’t even the funniest thing they could have come up with but everyone left on the dance floor was loosing their minds cracking up. The teachers and Disney workers were screaming at the top of their lungs and trying to haul boys back onto the land. 

Then the manager of Fantasia Gardens starts screaming that there are alligators in the fucking lake. 

Like. FUCKING. IT’S FLORIDA. HOW DID NO ONE THINK THERE WAS GONNA BE AN ALLIGATOR PROBLEM. F L O R I D A. 

THESE DUMBASS BOYS JUMPED INTO A FUCKING ALLIGATOR INFESTED LAKE.

A L L I G A T O R S. 

FUCK.

All the boys eventually make it back onto land- no one had been bitten or killed or anything, although a few apparently did see ‘shapes moving’ (it was late at night, so nothing clear), and one kid got kicked in the head and knocked out for a few moments and almost drowned, but everyone was intact. 

DISNEY WORLD WAS FURIOUS. 

And like, you can’t fucking blame them. I’m sure when they were making the principal sign liability papers, they didn’t think to include ‘late night gator attacks in a lake’ on the list, they could’ve been put in serious trouble if something had happened omfg. But there was a LOT of yelling/ranting/cursing. NEVER before have they seen such inappropriate behavior, the school would not be allowed to step foot in the Fantasia Gardens EVER again, yadayada, that sort of thing. The more boys I found soaking wet, the more ridiculous this got- I knew which of them had planned it of course, but this was most of the grade. There were like, geeks and nerds and Good Kids™ who I never expected to do something like wild like this standing around half naked looking torn between proud and about-to-cry omfg.

Every single boy who participated got suspended for three days, but they had to space out which boys were suspended which days because they didn’t trust them to not throw a giant party on the days they weren’t there. 

The school is still allowed in Disney World every year, but are banned from Fantasia Gardens and received a fine. 

‘Turbulence’ was absolutely banned from being played at senior prom.