#anyway realizing im probably not as good at school as i think i am bc i just have bio at the end of the day

[skrunksthatwunk]

damnnn that manga about making manga got me acting funny (making 5 year plans)

[unnamed-idi0t]

I LOVE biology sm

[butt-puncher]

I wish that I was more

[pumpkinsy0]

im the middle man of the stupidest most basic fucking highschool "drama" of my life so can i get some pony hcs of him dealing with smth like that?

heyyyyy srry for not resplying sooner!!! but i am

alive,,, i am back,,,

and omg?? at least ur gettin the real hs experience😭😭

•pony will always go to soda to talk about it, he feels free to do so bc technically he’s not involved w the drama at all, if he told darry it would turn into a “don’t get involved w that, that’s not what ur in school for” kind of lecture. not to say that soda doesn’t kinda do it but it’s more of a passing comment than anything else

•soda and darry were popular in school yet they were never rlly involved in drama like pony is, pony doesn’t have that kinda charm to stay out of trouble like they can, but he has enough likeability to not be at one of the end of drama, yknow what i mean?? that AND ppl know he’s a curtis bro so ppl just don’t wanna get a one way ticket to seeing how protective they r over pony, would soda and darry jump someone over pony??? unpopular opinion but i dont think they would for many different reasons, THE OUTSIDE WORLD DONT KNOW THAT THO so they keep pony at arms length

•god forbid the drama is w pony and 2 of his other school friends, at best he turns into a shitty messenger pigeon, being told to “tell ___ i said ____” but ending up not saying it to them, and the person finds out anyways from someone else. at WORST, pony has to pick a side, loyalty is big to pony so he tries not picking sides, sometimes tho??? he knowwwsss who’s in the wrong and distances himself away from em

•if its one of the gang though, like i said loyalty is a big thing, PLUS he in a way lives w some of em, if one of the gang is in deep trouble he stands ten toes down for em, he does it w a sigh and shakes his head, but still does it

•if u think ponys gonna b the one to try and quell the problem, ur WRONG!! hes just aboard for the ride, stepping in to stop ppl from fighting aint his strong suit, ofc if he feels like itll get outta hand he’ll try to do SOMETHING to stop em but typically??? its common in town so he doesnt care THAT much

•pony had smalllll issues w socs in school when he came back bc they thought bob didnt get his justice and since johnny was dead pony was the next best thing. it wasnt wide spread bc believe it or not bob wasnt wildly beloved, think of it like a “we all look like w gaf about each other but rlly we couldnt care less” american psycho type thing goin on there w half of those socs. but greasers had ponys back soooo nothing more than empty threats n glares

•first REAL big “this happened bc of me, kinda on my own here in this corner” drama pony found himself in was probably when angela tried to get him jumped, BUT EVEN THEN it wasnt rlly drama, there was a right and a wrong and most ppl sided w him anyways, so kinda short lived

•pony says he hates drama (bit of a lie, he doesnt HATE it just thinks its annoying) but hes a big gossiper, and he doesnt even realize it, “grrrrrr i wish u guys what shut up, but sureeeee tell me what he said in exact detail, word for word bar for bar, not that i care or anything🙄🙄🙄”

•noooooobody believes him when he says middle class kids r messsyyyyyyy, everyone says theyre chill but theyre NOT, theres beef between upper middle class kids who try to fit in w the socs and the lower middle class ones who try (keyword try) sticking together, its nottttt just greasers vs socs, the middle class has infighting BAD

•i say all this but genuinely, pony doesn’t pay attention to what happens in school, beyond classes (even IN class if it’s easy enough) he disassociates and couldn’t tell u who what who even though he’s been there for a good few years now, he finds out about a lot of things REALLLYYYY late, pony’s not THAT popular up to the point where ppl tell him everything that’s going on bc he isn’t rlly their force choice to do that w, everytime he’s put in the middle of something, it’s when that situation done boiled over, his friends have to fill him in and they’re like “where tf WERE u when this happened man cmon”

[honeyhotteoks]

just saw your response about writing a book and dreams and i wanted to ask like-- do you think you'd ever change careers to do that? im in the middle of trying to change careers right now and the market is straight doggy doodoo in the us, but also maybe egg on my face for applying right before the holidays. id like to think to those of us with wants and dreams there is a place. i think you're a bit older than i am, and i guess i want your opinion as someone a little more sage. idk sorry if this is too personal - i have noticed you like to keep your personal and kpoppie fandom life separate, so i wont press :3! happiness to all

such a great question!! so let me answer your question in a few parts bc honestly, the way careers and life work out in your twenties is so goddamn weird lol

so i went to school for literature and intended to go for the professor path, but realized pretty quick id be poor forever. so i bopped around job to job for a while feeling pretty unfulfilled, probably through my mid twenties. then i accidentally fell into a job at a small company where they let me switch over to the software dev team bc i surprisingly liked it / was good at it, and thats what ive been doing since. im 30 now, and to be honest, i make pretty good money doing that plus im able to fully work remotely and kind of have a flexible schedule.

so to answer your question….. no, i don’t think i would be willing to take the risk right now to try switching for writing but that’s largely because i finally like my job and im a little risk adverse as a person when it comes to my own finances.

i think realistically if i ever tried writing professionally it would be something i did in my off time like fic and then if i was able to make money doing that then maybe id switch paths. i have the flexibility for that given what i do, but thats just me.

for you, being a little younger in age and maybe your career though id give you this advice (as someone who changed careers) - you might need to start low on the totem poll to get into the career path you want, especially when switching, but do not let yourself work at lower pay for too long. no matter how great the company is etc., jobs that hire low experience and let you sink or swim are great for experience but they will never, ever pay you what you’re worth no matter how nice your bosses are. so if you get your foot in the door, crush it and get that resume built, and then get out in 1-2 years.

the other thing i’ll say is know your worth now. every job and degree gives you resume builders and skills you don’t even realize are marketable. focus on getting good at interviews so once you land one, you’ll get farther. people hire people they like, i guarantee im not the best developer but i am really personable and honest in an interview and it’s always got me a call back.

i would also say, career changing takes time. don’t be afraid to make money doing something you don’t love while you try for something else. it took me 2 years to transition from a job i didn’t love to doing something i enjoy for good money now, and it’s not my total dream job, but it affords me the time and money to enjoy my passions and that’s a good fit for me.

anyways i don’t know if this was helpful, but please don’t be shy to dm me here or on twt, i’d be happy to talk about my experiences or give you more advice on your situation.

i know it’s tough out there, but you got this! for the majority of my twenties i was really lost and struggling, but i promise if you stay the course and be honest with yourself the path in front of you gets clearer and easier to walk. 💗

[plague-of-insomnia]

what kind of accents do you think the cast has? im a dub main for various reasons (one of my friends had a reading/memory disability so i ended up watching dub w them) so im kinda used to everyones dub accents.

but bards defo got an american accent right? (not in the dub, but im thinking manga terms?)

and ik soma & agni have barely a trace of an accent but does that mean they sound basically british?

and does finny have a german accent? sieglinde? diedrich?

idk food for thought?

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

(Sorry it’s been a rough couple days and I didn’t realize I hadn’t published this yet.)

Hey anon… so I’m a bit confused as to if you’re asking about the Japanese accents in the various anime, the English dub accents (or some other dub), or just my thoughts on what their various accents would be like based on the manga and independent of the anime.

Now I have only watched Kuro in English bc that’s the only thing that was available/that’s available on what I have at the moment (though I’m finally getting the blu rays for BoM and BoA so I’m hoping they’ll have the Japanese to try that out for once), so I can’t make judgements based on that. (And I’m not a good one to ask about Japanese accents anyway, lol.)

I also favor dubs bc of my disability. I love hearing the Japanese but it can be hard for me to follow sometimes, and even english alone without captions I can struggle with (please fix this, CR!!! Grr), so I feel you there.

Also not sure which characters you had in mind with this ask (other than the ones you specifically mentioned). Since kuro has so many, I guess I’ll just focus on a few. I want to make clear I am American and Latine, so I am not an expert on British regional accents by any stretch, or the historical accents of the Victorian period, so I’ll just do my best. Some may be partly inspired by how the characters are written in Japanese, since there’s a bit more… complexity to the Japanese language in regards to things like formality, rudeness, etc, that may not convert into English when translated in writing.

This is a long post so I’ll use a readmore to keep it a bit less chaotic. Below the break I’ve broken down my hypotheses on how some of the major players might talk:

Sebastian

As a high-ranking servant who regularly interacts with the nobility, Sebastian would have a high-class accent, and it is reflected in how his Japanese (and even his English) is written. It is a fairly neutral, polite manner of speaking. I’m sure the Victorians probably had a term for this accent (a high-class servant accent), but if they did, I don’t know it lol.

Ciel

Most nobles like him would be educated in a public school like Weston, like his father was, and those schools taught a standard accent that often varied slightly from school to school. So everyone who went to Weston would have a similar manner of speech. Ciel has been “home schooled” his entire life, aside from a short time at Weston for the investigation, so his accent might have been slightly different than his father’s. Nevertheless, especially under Sebastian’s tutelage, he would have learned how to speak properly (if he didn’t already). Still, unless Sebastian intentionally had him learn the Weston/public school accent, anyone who speaks to him would know he did not go to school, but was taught by tutors/governesses instead.

Bard

Yes, Bard is American despite his dub accent. We don’t know where he’s from exactly, but we can assume it was probably somewhere west of the Mississippi (that’s about 1/3 of the way west if you’re looking at the US map, going east to West, if you’re not familiar with our Geography).

I say that bc the river was the first real demarcation of the frontier. It’s likely he was living somewhere like Texas or Oklahoma. Ofc where he’s from would affect his accent, but I imagine it as a kind of cross between a more neutral southern midwestern accent (“no accent”) and a subtle Texas or OK one. Which that’s hard to explain unless you really know regional US accents, bc most of Texas doesn’t sound like most people think it does. The accents really change depending on what part of the state you’re in, since it’s such a big place. But basically not too heavy an accent but a bit lazy, definitely coarse and brutish since he was a soldier and a farmer. Lots of slang and not big on politeness. (Which he definitely is in Japanese.)

Mey Rin

She’s interesting because she’s one of the few characters who has a couple different ways of speaking. She has her “maid” voice and her “assassin” voice. The first one stutters a lot and uses imperfect grammar, as reflected in the English translation when she repeats things, like “I’m not one to talk badly about my betters, I am.” The second does not have this quirk. Not sure if the first is meant as an affectation as part of her idea of what a maid is, or if she just has such a divide he her personality/personas that she speaks differently when she’s wielding a gun. Since that wasn’t really mentioned in her subarc, I doubt we’ll get an explanation. We do know she was likely a child of immigrants from China, but not whether she was born there or in England before she was orphaned. But it is unlikely she has any hint of a Chinese accent since she was orphaned so young. She definitely has more of a working class accent, especially when compared to someone like Sebastian.

Finny

I had momentarily forgotten that Finny didn’t speak English when he first came to the manor. It’s likely that he would have had some kind of German accent, but I expect that Sebastian would have drilled it out of him, considering how strict he was with Sieglinde and Wolf, and Ciel didn’t blink an eye.

Finny’s accent in English never struck me as particularly high class, either in the manga or anime, but in one of the recent chapters, Theo makes a point to compliment his “upper-class accent.” It does seem highly probable that Sebastian played a hand in how he speaks, since he probably was the one who taught him English.

However, the fact that it came up in this sub arc could indicate his way of speaking is significant, somehow tying into what’s going on with Undertaker and the orphanage. Either way, his accent is apparently closer to Ciel than Mey.

Snake

Snake is tricky, because he almost never speaks as himself (I’m still not 100% sure what pronoun he would use for himself in Japanese, and even he doesn’t seem sure lol). He speaks via his snakes, and they all have different ways of speaking (which I think the dub does a decent job of, personally). So I can’t really say, but for the most part I would probably say his accent(s) would be closer to working-class, but he might have gotten some lessons on speaking from Sebastian, since, as a footman, he would have been expected to speak at a higher-class level than other, below-stairs servants would.

Undertaker

Like Mey, UT has two manners of speaking. He has his “humble old undertaker” accent, which is Cockney-esque (I don’t wanna do a disservice by saying it IS that), definitely a lower class accent. Then he has his “revealed” voice, or how he speaks after he reveals himself on the Campania. I have not read this arc in Japanese so I cannot base this judgement on how this shift is portrayed by Yana, only based on the translation. But it definitely seems to be a higher-class accent than the other one. It’s likely that it’s his “real” accent, while the other is part of his cover persona. However, we don’t know anything about him or his background from when he was alive, or even how old he is. For all we know, that accent could be an affectation too.

Agni & Soma

I know their dub accents annoy a lot of people, since Yana specifically mentions how they don’t have an Indian accent. I expect both of them would speak with a British accent, probably something close to how Ciel speaks, most likely, since Soma would have been educated by tutors and Agni probably was as well, since he came from a very high-caste family. I would expect that if their dub accents has been closer to Yana’s intent, they would sound more like Hakim in the dub of the anime Emma. That’s how I imagine them, anyway.

Sieglinde & Wolfram

I expect both would have German accents when they speak English, especially Wolf. Sieglinde might do a better job of working to improve and lose it, but I don’t think Wolf would, partly because of his animosity toward Sebastian. I like to imagine he sounds like Hans in the English dub of the anime Emma, and I really hope we eventually get the Green Witch Arc animated and dubbed so we can get a hot German English accent 🥺.

Diedrich

Dee, on the other hand, I think would not have a German accent in English, especially not in the present. I think he probably was educated in English before he went to Weston, likely by a private tutor, probably someone British, and then when he went there would have acclimated to the public school assent there. So probably he would sound like Vincent did, but I expect he’d throw in some German every now and then, especially when he gets irritated, lol.

Lau

Lau is originally from China, and his accent (as far as I know?) has never been remarked upon in the manga. We also know nothing about his background except that he rose quickly and at a young age to be head of Quin-Bang. I would assume that he speaks English very well, and the only hint at his origin that I’m aware of in the Japanese is the kanji (character) for the pronoun “I” he uses, though he doesn’t pronounce it as it’s normally done in Japanese nor does he with a Chinese pronunciation. I would take this to mean he probably has little if any hint of a Chinese accent when he speaks English, and since he keeps company with nobles and was able to pass as a doctor, he likely speaks in a high-class accent.

I hope that satisfied, anon. This was a fun and different ask. I apologize I didn’t publish it sooner.

[rexaleph]

having concluded the hxh phantom troupe arc: it's so fucking good, i loved it so much. this arc is probably my favorite anime now, beating dorohedoro. as i said elsewhere:

there's no way whatever a chimera ant is can be better than this.

the layers of conflict btwn the mafia community, the Nostrade household within it, Kurapika in that, the Phantom Troupe (i only just realized that they originally put the eyes on the market lmao, as they probably did with much on the auction!), Hisoka in the Troupe, the Zoldyck family, Killua and Gon - tremenduous, intricate plotting. love the uneasy alliances and strange sympathies. as i said in the above conversation w a friend: i loved artemis fowl as a kid, this hxh arc would have cracked open my third eye in middle school

i think my favorite Troupe member is Pakunoda. if i'd watched this as a kid, im 95% sure that she is the one i would have imprinted on, not Chrollo or Kurapika (maybe Killua or Feitan for the cynicism - tho i was always more of a girl liker). bc i am like that i was constantly on the lookout for misogyny around her and the female members in general and like, i think it's fine. you could spin it out where her power is passive (except then!!! with the bullets!!!!), and she is sentimental abt Chrollo, and it does end the way it does for her ofc. but i think that is not a fair way of looking at her in terms of "is this show sexist" bc she is a pov character and representative of the troupe and their feelings as a whole, and obviously she does much of the overt on-screen physical violence. anyway rip to Paku, i could have saved her

i think i want to rewatch these eps sometime when i'm done with the whole show, i feel like it isn't super settled in my brain yet - i struggle to articulate much outside :O!!!. and i am cautiously excited about what comes next. i feel like this will stay my fave arc, but i watched an ep yesterday w a friend - they said they were fine w watching ep 50+ from a show theyd never seen bc they had osmotized much of it, and "of course know about the cheetah bug guy whom everyone loves". and what is up with that.

[hua-fei-hua]

Hello again it is still me i finished reading the annotations for "pure identity"!!!!! (im a slow reader, i know)

Oh god, please, please, PLEASE tell me u have annotations for ur other stuff as well!! It's not a want, it's a need. I need to pull apart every individual wrinkle in ur brain. Im sorry, i sound so insane rn but ur fic has genuinely got me feverish. Besides the fact that it was utterly perfect the annotations added even more enjoyment, from the lore callbacks (which are insanely underused imo when it comes to venti specifically) to the style (the double parentheses especially got me feeling like a loose tooth), to the explanations of the the thought process!!! It was just so so good!! Everything was so enhanced by the annotations i feel like im going a bit feral. I loved every little explanation and history of the draft. Thank u!!!!!! Thank u for writing it in the first place, thank u for sharing it and thank u for opening it and urself up so much through the annotations, i genuinely have no words, this has been an Experience and i feel changed ahshwhhshahwhajjsha

((Also, I think I'm envious of you, a little bit. It's so clear how much you love your writing. I haven't been able to write myself in years but this is the first time that I've missed it so painfully. Your writing is beautiful and it will haunt me.))

funny you should mention the annotated version bc i actually made it for another person who was driven mad upon first reading it (hi, artemis!!). it was a lot of fun to make, since pure identity is a fic where i put a lot, a lot of thought into almost every single word i wrote, which was in no small part bc i wrote it as an homage to an anime which changed my life w/o me fully realizing it until years later (flip flappers).

i~~~ unfortunately only have annotations for some of my other fics. it's a lot of work to annotate a fic the way i did pure identity, esp after the fact (rest in pieces that one multichaptered bnha fic i wrote back in 2018 that i never finished annotating in a similar way…), so i usually have better things to do than go back n chat abt a whole fic from start to finish from scratch (esp. since most people just comment on their favorite lines or moments n i get an excuse to talk abt the thought processes n history going into them :3), but there are some which do have annotations archived!!! most notable would probably be for the birds, since what gets archived are just all the notes i make to myself as i'm writing each chapter lol.

still, it feels great to know that the annotations were such a hit!!! i don't hear abt people reading them often (let alone hear their thoughts after the fact, if they get around to it at all lol), but i like doing them anyway bc they tend to attract the type of thoughtful person i prefer to be around hehe.

plus, it's fun to hear authors dissect their own writing!!!! n you're so very correct that i love my own writing dearly. i worked hard to get to where i am now, n pure identity was written in the thick of my most recent major growing period as a writer, so the incredible feedback on it has always meant a lot to me.

i often view my fics as like… performances of sorts, in a sense, probably bc i did competitive speech (under humorous interpretation) back in high school. by the time i reach the end notes, there's a sense of being breathless in the spotlight (bc "if you're not sweating by the end, you're not doing it right"), bc if i've done my job right, then the audience will have forgotten that the character was never real in the first place as they watch it drop away and meet the actor underneath for the first time.

i think pure identity was the first time i started to feel like i was executing my job at a level i had previously only dreamed of.

((i once stopped writing fic altogether for a year bc someone said to me, "who would ever want to read something you wrote?"))

((i hope that you, too, will be able to someday write again.))

[caffeiiine]

hi hi i didnt realize i cant like rb or answer anything answered privately which makes sense cuz its meant tobe private but its a lilinconvenient noq that i think about it but anyway answering stuff about the rewrite!!

the idea that angie can accurately replicate handwriting is so good to me ouagh, i wantee to add something where kokichi's signature was different on angie's note than the actual note for evidence reasons but idk if i ever put that in the doc

okok the wuestions now (i do not remember a lot of these things befause of this having been made 2+ years ago BhbBDFIJGBRJK)

- "how did miu not burn the whole jacket?" - i imagine a leon situation. most of it burned, but a part of it fell out of whatever machine miu made to burn the jacket and she just never picked it up (in part bc she didn't feel like it, in part bc she's dual masterminds with kirumi in this world)

- "why did she wear her jacket if she were trying to frame kokichi?" - yeh no i did not think that through FBHEBIJABFUIA i think me from two years ago just wanted an obvious difference to a character that at first wasnt very suspicious but later was like holy shit ur the mruderer AND HERES THE EVIDENCE sorry i have monster im very shaky so im not fixing typos i hope u can read these BEAUIBDFIUDSFBU

- "miu + angie alliance? :3" - in retrospect i so should have done something with that cuz i lowkey love that idea BUAOHAOJHEAJO

- "[...] if there was a rivalry between your s/i and angie bc of the similarish talents" - never thought about it but absolutely i think yes

- "what was the point of the torture post-mortem?" - angie wanted to make it seem like kokichi had dragged my s/i into his lab and tried to get him to help with some plan but my s/i refused (mightve been my reasoning?) and got to the point he tortured him to try to get assistance or something, angie just wanted it to seem like kokichi had tortured my s/i for some reason (cuz atp they all think kokichi is mega cruel mega heartless ygwim)

with a lot of the above questions i came up with this entire chapter within the span of like... a day home alone on a day off i had from school so i never really changed anything after i came up atih it? and i had reasonings for things i just never wrote them doqn properly and was like rambling to myself out loud ot think that day) (my dogs probably thought i was crazy) (i am crazy)

onto commentary comments :3

YESSS KAEDE IS ALIVE!!!! i wanted her and shuichi to both live in this so i made it happen :3 along with them i think kokichi is the only other of the remaining 5 after chapter 6 that would be alive (kirumi's influence, miu's inventions, they caused Despair and Hell snd whatever yadda yadda i tried making it work and i never really fleshed it out)

ENHABHAJDGBIHA YES ANGIE REPLICATING HANDWRITING HS MY HEART BECAUSE I JUST. i feel like shes really good at replicating styles? like art styles, s the ultimate artist yk, so i feel like she could replicate handwriting pretty well too

BAJHAUAHAJ I QANTED TO MAKE HER HVE SOME REALLY OBVIOUS THING WRONG BUT LIKE TRY TO EXCUSE IT OUT OF TRIAL. i made a few crazy angie sprites actually ebcause i wanted to hold on

crazy angies i made cuz i wanted to do that trial insanely ^ i mightve actually made these before i came up with this idea and then i qas like "WHAT IF ANGIE NO COAT AND NO ONE SUSPECTS ANYTHING UNTIL ITS TRIAL EVIDENCE" idk i had no reasoning to make her go to th etrial qithout her coat other than i wasnt cery good at thinking of incriminating evidence

i cannot actually think of a way to reply to the thing aoubt angie assuming and backing it up with atua + that whole paragraph (it is 12:12 in the morning rn as i type this) but hard agree with everything u say there

ALSO YES ANGIE REALIZING "ATUA" FAILED HER AND LOSING HER MIND OVER THAT ACTUALLY!!! YES!!!

u can like copy paste the format for the trial stuff if u want to btw!! with this i tried to make sure i did a lot of looking into what info i needed (i had an "evidence" tab too but i forgot what i was gonna put there so i left it blank + couldve been the truth bullets or smth! maybe the detailed descriptions for them??? idk) but anyway u can copy paste the actual format itself and leave maybe a few things in each thing to dtermine what exactly it is that you can put there idk idk its 12:15 im struggling BSHBSFDHIHA

ALSO YES HRUTAL MURDER, i didnt realize until i read through it again that it is a very brutal murder + generally brutal case and i put a lot of lements in there but i was very over the top 2-3 years ago so i blame that. id do better now if i could erase my memory of making this case and redo it

also ur welcome for accurate dearh times i think i had to actually look up "does a stab to the back of the neck kill you instantly" i htink the fbi has me on their watchlist now because of that alone BFRUIHRUIAHUIHAGHAH

alos yes i Can read tags on privately answered posts, i watned kokichi angst back then so i thought the best way to do that was to make him fall in love with me adn the n kill myself off BSJAHAUHAHHA, alos probably because i would have died immediately in a killing game so i gave myself the benefit of the doubt for it and made myself live for an extra 4 chapters than i probably would actually live

oookay sorry this rotted in my inbox i now have a spare 30 mins to type this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

OHHKAY OKAY i was thinking that i was thinking it might be a leon thing or similar to that

AH GOT YAHT👍👍 adding on a little i think it’d be silly if she early on in the trial somebody asked her about her coat and she was like “oh, i lost it!” and everyone brushed it off until later a bunch of things come to light and then its like idk insert reaction i can’t think of anything😞😞

ALSO ALSO if we can fit it in somehow we should use miu + angie alliance, only thing now is would miu hang on until the end in order to not get herself tied up in the aftermath? or would she throw angie under the bus the minute things are turning out bad for her kinda like nagito and teruteru? except she definitely wouldn’t be as nonchalant about things as he was, she’d probably be taking everything as an attack against herself and being super defensive. but at the same time, she also has a super weak will and crumples very easy so at that point she might be more focused on minimizing her position as much as possible? idk im rambling <3

and also that’s so real i have several old aus i made on like testing days and stuff that i just never got around to fleshing out <3 and when i looked back on them they just. SUCKED. so i didn’t do anything with them. not saying yours sucked btw just saying mine sucked [like they were HORRENDOUS. trust.]🫂🫂

off topic i love saimatsu so much <3 anyways the kirumi + miu mastermind thing reminds me of hiyoko and ibuki tbh [LOVE them + that pairing] super super off topic once but me and my friend made a crackship once with ibuki + miu and that just reminded me of it mxnxnd

THATS SO REAL AND TRUE IM STEALING THAT HC

WOOO ANGIE SPRITES!!!! she so deserved to be a killer in the main game idc what anyone says

THE ATUA THING IS A DETAIL ID LIKE TO INCLDIE IN OUR REWRITE BTW <33 OPINIONS ON THAT

YAAY i’ve got the general format in my head for whenever i decide to actually sit down and make the doc since i’ve been procrastinating on that so hard😞

this is so off topic but i feel like you were a theater kid at one point, i barley meet people that are very expressive like you and 9 time out of 10 they are/have been theater kids :3

THATS SO SILLY THOUGH, if im being completely realistic id be the first one gone just bc im stupid😞 and id probably complain about people killing in ways that were stupid to me, id be lucky to get to chapter 2 i think unless i was in some position of power nxbdhdb s/i’s are silly and funny

[nereidprinc3ss]

i have such a very unpopular opinion. but have you seen pretty little liars? if not, the show is about four girls who try to figure out the source of anonymous threats messages that attempts against their lives. it even has a criminal storyline going one. one of them, spencer hastings, SHE EVEN SHARES HIS NAME is the smartest one and has a similar storyline to reid. i even believe that her character was inspired by reid.

she dresses like this preppy academy girl, has high iq and she even struggles with her own addiction (sleeping pills) that leads her to having anxiety and other psychological things. she makes more sense than maeve trying to be spencer. if a crossover ever happened to exist in some random universe, i’m constantly asking myself how would spencer deal with someone like hastings, or even fall in love with them because it’s so easy and relatable.

reid was the first male character i could relate to because you know, male gaze. and men in comparison to women don’t face the same amount of pressure when it comes about intelligence quotient which is why i’m always seeking comfort in female characters. specially, smart ones because i feel the same. personally speaking, in dating, i also rely on smart men rather than ‘average’ men which is also what i seek when it comes about intimacy/sexual intimacy. for me it’s not about the looks anymore.

i first learned about hastings before reid and fell in love with her because i relate to her so much, for me it’s about our psychological struggles and our tendency to use our iq to hide our vulnerability which makes it so real because we are so fucked up that we will always choose to hide that side of us to normal people. sorry for my rambling, but i needed to get that out.

# i’m claiming this emoji. ❤️

i love rambling!!! thank you for sharing i have not seen pll but i will go on a related rant about iq and self worth and stuff

first of all this is exactly what my and my friend were talking about the other day but with the show suits!! the character mike ross also is a genius w and eidetic memory and a drug problem who goes to jail!! spencer reid truly is the blueprint i think but you can NEVER outdo the doer!!

as for the iq stuff you are so so right. for a long time i based my self worth on my iq and being “gifted” until i realized it was actually completely meaningless and other people thinking i was smart would do nothing for me in the end. but it was the only thing i had to feel good about myself bc i was NOT attractive in middle school/early high school and i was pretty socially awkward so i made myself feel better by thinking about how much smarter than everyone else i was all the time but as you can probably imagine that actually did NOTHING for me except make me feel further isolated and also rlly amped up my narcissistic defensive tendencies!! which was not good!!! (to clarify i am not a narcissist😭 but in my early teenage years i was definitely developing narcissistic QUALITIES)

and then i realized i was failing all my classes anyway and i couldn’t retain any information and i was a fast reader but had absolutely NO reading comprehension. like couldn’t remember the sentence i had LITERALLY just read. and then i got evaluated and diagnosed w adhd which like thank god for medication because im FINALLY capable of learning again but my point is that intelligence is sooo complex and abstract and essentially a empty signifier that means different things to different people. it’s a terrible thing to base your self worth on because it can fluctuate too, and also speaking directly about iq—there is a threshold with iq where if you get above a certain number of standard deviations of average you are actually predicted to be less successful than people with lower iq’s. iq is much less important than we think it is. it’s about what you DO with your potential, not the amount of sheer potential you have

i was actually thinking about that recently cause like?? spencer reid is obviously a rare case and exceptional in every measure BUT a big part of his genius is just his personality. like there are people with eidetic memories and staggeringly high iq’s who do absolutely nothing with their lives and work in offices or construction or something. and obviously he’s fictional but i think that aspect of his character is so interesting because it speaks so much to who he is a person like he never was inherently going to be so intelligent, he had a lot of potential, but it was more due to his desire to learn and his childhood and probably approval seeking but i digress

and also yeah me too babe i am ridiculously sapiosexual but i also have never been attracted to a man who isn’t pretty objectively physically attractive so i need a male model bf who is ALSO a genius and ALSO hilarious and not vain about his looks. like do you hear how ridiculous that is??? im a 7 on my most attractive day and i can’t do mental math like at all…….. so ig this man also must have low standards LOL

so there was my ramble😁 if you read the whole thing im so sorry

[septembermorningbells]

personal life rant under the cut sorry the quickest therapy appointment i could get was monday

okay this is fundamentally so unserious. but it has been driving me absolutely bonkers and i cannot really tell my friends about it without also driving THEM crazy also its juvenile but. here.

ok so quick lore update the girl who made me realize I was gay is one of my best friends and i met her when she directed a play i was in freshman year. this is important. realized my feelings sophmore spring and I eventually told her how I felt the fall of my junior year, when i was in another one of her plays, and she kind of flipped out bc she was studying abroad that next semester and I don't think she was in an emotional places to process everything. it was very unclear whether she actually returned my feelings and she never told me but it was a resounding 'lets just be friends!!!' regardless. after we fought for a month 🤪

ANYWAYS the next semester she goes abroad and we continue texting like every day but i eventually kind of get over it and i still love her but it transitions a bit. She comes back and we are closer than ever in the fall, we do so many things together and basically keep developing our already very close friendship.

now it's senior spring. she applied for a grant that would take her to grad school in england and of course I assumed she would get it bc she is like fantastically talented. i have briefly dated other people in the period in between but nothing really worked out and so i just resign myself to the fate of just hanging out with my friends and actually looking for love ugh when I move in september. but also at this point i know im kind of still in love with her so i was like 'enjoy this time with her because its our last semester in college and we are never getting this time back etc' and even though i want her in my life forever i knew it would be SO hard to see her go and move to another country for a while and maybe date other people. so i figured she would move and i would cry and be torn up but i would get over it. also, in the meantime, I have been entering into a bit of a flirtation with a girl we have both known for a long time (who is lovely) basically as a distraction but we both knew that it was NOT serious.

also for context: the friend is directing ANOTHER play right now that both me and flirtation girl are in. we are playing love interests.

so last wednesday she found out she didn't get the grant. me and our very good mutual friend (calling her X she will play a role later, she is also very very close with the girl lol) are SHOCKED. this means she will likely be with us on the east coast of the US with us. the following night, I go to a party with X, our friends, and the girl i have been flirting with. She makes a move on me at the party, which i wasn't quite expecting bc the play is ongoing and I am worried about making rehearsal awkward but i was like 'ok fuck it i guess isnt this what i set up i made my bed'

THEN X pulls me aside and is like 'grace wtf are you doing' and i said 'you literally knew about this and its not serious, why are you mad' and X says 'grace, she's not going to england', basically implying something about my friend and me. naturally, I freak out. I blow off the flirtation friend and basically spiral for the rest of the night and weekend. I eventually make X talk to me bc WTF

okay so the entire problem is that X can't say too much without compromising my friend which is fair. but basically X validated YEARS worth of feelings that me and my friend do not have a normal relationship, we have basically been dating for who knows how long, and heavily implied that after she found out i made out with the girl at the party she was jealous. after year(s?) of repressing my feelings this revelation obviously made me insane. BUT X was like 'you guys need to talk but you should probably wait until the play is over to do it' which is in THREE WEEKS. she said it maybe wasn't necessary but she obviously can't say too much to me and I feel bad putting her in this position but also WHAT. WHAT.

okay so. I feel like there's been a chip made in the side of the hoover dam of my fucking repression and i am having such crazy feelings and I can't really express them. I know my friend would probably prefer that we wait bc she takes her shows very very seriously (something i love about her!! so much!!!) but also we graduate in a month and i don't know if i can just not talk about what's going on for that long. also there is a fair chance we talk and we still have to just be friends which would kind of murder me (oh context her mother is like very homophobic and until this year she has been SO wary of relationships which i thought was permanent lol until X told me many repeated times that 'now it is different' WHAT DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN) but i would almost want to get that over with now????????? jesus christ.

to make things worse we are, as i stated before, graduating and so emotions are just running very high in general. we need to have this talk but I also want to have it at the right moment so things don't go to shit. but i have had a very hard time concentrating on anything. will be back to buisness soon but until then. jesus christ. just pray for me at this point idk what else to say

[hollywoodsargeant]

okay so I know like you said the jersey thing has been talked abt alot but am about to talk about it more bc I am SO confused. as a very nonmerican. WHAT the hell is the jersey and what the hell is the jacket. do you maybe have pictures🥲🥲🥲🥲 bc I tried searching but a bunch of different stuff came up and Im so confused. 💀

oh i don't mind talking about the jersey thing!! i was more surprised bc i didn't realize how much people would want to talk about it lol. but not complaining i love to speak. and it is definitely a moment... anyways i will try and find a reference image

idk here's some guys playing football. a jersey like that. and even green too i'm pretty sure i didn't explicity say it until the most recent chapter but their school's colors have always been green and white in my head. so the home jersey is green and the away jersey (the one oscar/mia would be wearing at a home game) is white. not that the color is really all that important but. that's what it is. in My brain

and bc they're clearly sized to fit the guys when they have their pads on they're kinda loose so i would always see the players wear them over a hoodie or something when they wore the jerseys to school on fridays. if you wear it with nothing under it you are a freak sorry man... but then that would also translate to the girls who wore them in the stands. i presume most often worn over a hoodie that also belonged to their boyfriend but you can wear it over ur own hoodie... clearly logan isn't. because he is a freak

but the main deal with the jersey. i guess. is. for every high school (and college too i assume) sport the players would be given two jerseys, one for home games and one for away games (different colors bc you might play a team that has the same colors as you, usually the away jersey is like the more neutral color if there is one, eg white out of green and white), and bc they only have to wear the one while they're playing they'd give the other one to their partner so they could match them in the stands. Wear My Number, Baby. i actually have worn my friend's hockey jersey before now that i think about it

and as for the jacket probably something like good old archie andrews. except green (and white). but a varsity football jacket nontheless. and in my head they have the players' names/last names embroidered on the sleeve which is probably a byproduct of Hey i was in the marching band and my championship jacket had my name on the sleeve but surely that can also be a thing in football. SURELY

but it's the same sort of deal in the possessiveness sake like wearing ur boyfriend's varsity jacket is also kind of a Thing. it's less of a deal than the jersey probably even if high school football jerseys usually don't have the player's name on it, it's just their number. the backs of all the jerseys from my high school just said our mascot above the number idk if it's different in other places. and USUALLY the jackets wouldn't have numbers on it bc some guys' numbers would change between years like the numbers are distributed by size of the jersey (so 1 would usually end up on a smaller guy) and they get given their stuff at the start of the season. but guys WOULD put their number in their instagram bio/username. logan totally does that fyi

[salaciousslut]

Done! Also do you have a favorite tequilla brand? Just curious! 🫣

Technically i have freckles all over my face but i only really count the ones that are darker and in a line under my eyes and over my nose, the other ones aren't prominent enough to call them freckles imo. And i'd feel more than lucky if you did worship me, sweetheart<3

I would love to take you to the gym with me, it honestly helped me with my depression as well! And of course i'd watch over you sweetheart<3 i wont lie, i love to go after dark bc theres less people. And i had the same problem but now i catch myself and try to stand straighter. I mostly lift weights when i work out so I know my posture improved due to needing to have a straight back to lift. Plus its super fun imo!! I miss the gym so bad but i hate going alone. I also miss feeling sore, im a bit of a masochist so i love feeling sore the day after working out🤭

Dont apologize for giving me info<3 organization's overrated anyway. Ive found that girls with glasses tend to be my type🫣 you literally sound so pretty sweetheart<3 i knew i wasnt wrong calling you a pretty princess<3 im kissing the tip of your nose and your forehead rn🥰 you are literally so cute, puppy coded too🥺 ive never had crawfish it seems yummy but im not sure if i should try it! Shrimp ceviche used to be my favorite but then i developed a shrimp allergy to uncooked shrimp and around 17 i had to call it quits bc it stopped being worth it to risk it. Im still pissed but at least i can still eat shrimp its just gotta be thoroughly cooked, not just get cooked through the acidity of lime juice like its sucks so bad i just miss ceviche so bad. Ohh just a butch latina and a pretty asian girl what ever will they do hehe<3 and i knew but not cause you told me 🫣 your dni made it obvious, like yeah im just now saying hey but ive been aware of you for a little bit now🫣 also please lemme be ur body pillow one day<3 savory is good!!! Whats your favorite kind of snack?

Also thats adorable, youre just a cute little puppy that has to get off once a day to function her best<3 i mean if i were stressed from school i'd probably need the same thing🤭

tbh im not too picky about my brands, as long as it gets me drunk, then im happy!! also tequila makes me take my clothes off oopsies i think i should warn u about that!! but if im buying for myself, i typically will get espolon bc i feel like its yummy and reasonably priced!

yes i love feeling sore after a workout!! i am also a bit of a masochist (omg who knew)!! but ive never lifted weights before. all the dude bros scare me and i feel like im always being judged but if we went together i know u would take care of me!! i like aerobics and like calisthenics (i had to google how to spell that word) and love yoga sm!! the burn of stretching feels amazing!!

hehe i am very puppy coded! i used to think i was more kitten coded but now ive grown and realized puppies are sooo fun!! so much energy and just wanna be cherished and loved!! which is everything i want!!

nooooo thats so sad that ur allergic to ur fav food :(( i love ceviche but at least u can still tolerate the cooked version. i know its not the same but its still something!!

ohhh i forgot that i put that in my dni, people are so weird about race here smh i just gotta cover all my bases so i can have fun on this website!! but aww we would look soooo cute together

im a sucker for chips. u know how they say all bi girls do is lie and eat hot chip? yeah all i do is eat hot chip hehehe. not so much lying but hot chip very much so. i also loveee chips and salsa and chicken wings and yeah all the fun savory stuff i guess!!!

hehe cumming is like a lil treat!! a reward for myself for being sooo good you know? but it would be a million times better if someone else was making me cum rather than myself 😳🫣

[ghostcrows]

i know ive made like seventy goddam posts about it...but i have still been ruminating like a mother fucker about like...trans gender issues

as you do

i want to listen to trans women right i dont want to be transmisogynistic and i keep on seeing that there are trans guys who are out of their minds high on terf fumes (whether they realize it or not), although ive known that already bc theres always been trans guys who want...whatever they think they get out of clinging to gender essentialism and the remnants of their claims to womanhood. radfem pussy from a female born womyn that hates you i guess

i also do want people to not brush aside transmasc issues as like, not real, or saying well you're a man arent you, so like, shut up and go get that privilege, that conditional privilege, that highly situational privilege, that goes away in dire straits situations such as um, medical environments....or to like treat us with disdain, or as a joke, which is what i see much more often than pure vitriol (its just like, funny to people to be a trans guy. a little too funny too often)

but we also have to recognize that many of the things we go through closely mirror transfem experiences - even if not all of them do, a lot of them do, and we aren't the sole understanders of trans oppression or misogynistic oppression, thats kind of like, the point right. it is not an inherently ~afab~ burden

i think its fair to want a word that doesnt step on anybodys toes that accurately describes our unique experiences with being treated poorly instead of vaguely gesturing to transphobia in a broad sense- we have consistently failed to find this ... theres a point i keep seeing that i agree with that we shouldnt scrutinize transfems who dont use absolutely perfect language to describe their experiences, i think that should probably also be true for transmascs, but we also do keep choosing like absolutely dogshit terms so...idk? the only one ive seen thats any good is "anti transmasculinity" ive also seen transandrosmia(sp?) but i dont know what that means and it seems to be just trying to replace the root words in transandrophobia/transmisandry. which to be fair was the main hangup because of the implications, to my understanding, but ...im not sure about it

i also see a lot of accusations towards either group that we "just see each other as our agab" which is like, in my opinion, true in the sense that everyone has ingrained transphobic beliefs from living in a deeply transphobic world, and you have to unlearn both the internalized forms and the externalized forms...you have to choose every day to continue to unlearn that stuff, catch yourself. even if you think youve done all the work i mean, no one ever truly has - but also like. so much of this stems from pure insecurity. not only "no one sees me as i am" but also "the 'other' gender has it better in some way" being very mch a thing trans people are inclined to feeling, even after they transition i dont think that always goes away, thats why you see like, someone saying "i hate my agab body" and someone else goes "ugh i WISH i had your body id be so lucky to have your body". absolute last thing that person probably wants to hear but you sometimes feel it anyway

and then like, at the end of the day, i dont feel like any of the ppl leading this current "crusade" are actually people who have a full picture...and i dont think i do either, like, so much of this is online for me, i have to wonder what other people are going through. i overall wish i knew more trans people in real life, i definitely wish i had more transfem friends irl, i know a handful of transmascs irl and that was a freak accident bc we all went to school together. if not for that i'd know basically no one trans near me. tho i have seen more people in public more often but i never say anything cuz im scared -_-

yeah....dk how to end this post. well bye

[markets]

hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

[newty]

dion fic chapter 1 meta thoughts!!!!!!!!!

i made that meme a few days ago and didnt realize until a few hrs later that the Me penguin was chewing on the other's right arm and then i completely lost it. taking away dions arm feels good/feels right/feels like actualizing his sacrifice with physical, mental, & social consequences that will reshape the way he lives in the new world entirely. there's no past to return to, babey, and he cant accept that yet!

it was a bit odd to actually have him Cry and be Very Vulnerable when he seems to prefer taking careful shots at the things that distress him + occasionally just yell at those things. watching him just completely check out when the hideaway discusses twinside getting wiped out was like. wow i am experiencing a suffering unlike any other. this man is going to to completely lose control of what he thought was himself but in a totally different way than the first time. i think his brain chemistry got ratshaked and thats part of the :) i cant wait to die:) convo w the bros. its also part of why i made him cry. his identity and his control of that identity have changed.

now that kihel isnt on her own in complete survival mode maturity, i wanted to let her act more like a kid. i think she's around 12 (even if dion pings her around 9). it was a lot of fun to give her and terence a comfortable rapport. kids can unlock different attitudes in ppl, so i felt like letting terence be so casual with her was a great way to get him to stretch his legs beyond the Hyper Formality he has to upkeep as a high ranking military officer and servant. i dont doubt, like any person, that he was casual with others in the past, but our limited time w him gave us only one answer abt his personality.

in order not to seize up and feel stuck in the repetitiveness of keeping him only The Loyal Servant Who Speaks Out A Couple Times, i tried my best to think of him as a character that i could give opinions to. letting those opinions take a sharp contrast to dion's was a little scary to do--i think they were scary for him to express as well--but ultimately i really like the scaffold it gives me in the future. apocalypse survival w a random child while all the things you swore to do get forsaken or done by others is Uh, humiliating for a dude w a firm identity & pride in 'service.' im excited for terence pov tbh.

i also enjoyed giving terence a couple shared histories w kihel and dion! it was hard for me to just be like. this is my wheelhouse now and referencing a past that never existed in the game is My Right for the Sake Of Narrative. terence says dion once told him that words stop being useful after a while--an outlook necessary to validate warfare--and i can see it being smth that they had to fall back on to not completely fall to the dissonance of valuing life while just killing for a job.

which anyway square i wanted More ridiculous religion/evil empire/god thinks its rad that we specifically are killing his other children as opposed to them killing us. the nonsense w the cardinals not knowing they were an empire made me a little crazy. greagor seems to exist more as a word to invoke and a flavor in the backseat, so im uh. letting her be relevant. bc i think these boys should have as much propaganda ingrained in their heads as possible. we love flawed justification in this house.

and i figure the dragoons are no more bc dion said he only had a handful of them at ran'dellah. akashic dont leave bodies either, so the pyre terence ordered would have to be for dhalmeks and drgs, making even less of them. i wanted his claim to the throne to be as untenable as possible tbh. he lacks the trust + respect of probably a lot of people bc mad prince, plus hes gonna lose more respect once the ableism starts to kick in. hes depressed and traumatized and fatigued. he has smth like a middle school education (sorry harpocrares). he has no cash on hand. bahamut is gone. aaaaand no more private army! figure it out on ur own, dion.

also im bummed that w no more blessing of light, drgs prob cant jump anymore (i guess??). im absolutely feral over the ideal of terence doing the drg stabby jumpy broody n now he Cant so ty to all the others who fulfill that niche for me. maybe i can 👀 do a flashback.