#anyway nobody asked and maybe trying to find a simple meaning for art destroys the point but i interpret this as being about CSA

[m4sc4r4]

Not mine but it's been in my head since i read it on a plane and i wanted to put it somewhere bc i like sharing where my rabbit holes take me (i love horror i love horror).

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 183

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 35 - “Nuts’s Key and Komachi’s Heart” Date watched: 4 May 2020 Original air date: 7 October 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/fqtuhS0 Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

What did I say about sunsets?

This episode has everything! Romance! Adventure! Characters having long and meaningful conversations about their past failings! A new villain! Dramatic sunsets! Bad art! The return of the winter uniforms signifying that it’s truly fall! Let’s dig in!

The Plot

Komachi is on pins and needles as Nuts reads the eighth revision of her novel. As we’ve learned, he’s a harsh critic, but when he finally puts it down, he has nothing but praise for it, and everyone is relieved, so they decide to celebrate by going shopping. Privately, Coco and Nuts argue over Nuts’s serious attitude and being bogged down by certain past mistakes. Meanwhile in Nightmare, Hadenya has the day off so Kawarino suggests that Bloody takes to the field instead. The senior executive does not take kindly to being ordered around, and insists he’ll do things his way after being buttered up.

The girls drop off Komachi’s manuscript at a mailbox and then head into the mall. Urara wants to go shopping for a new outfit for an appearance the next day, so Nozomi, Rin, Karen, and Coco go with her, while Komachi and Nuts head to a bookstore. At one point, Rin and Karen butt heads over what outfits they think would look good on Urara, in typical fashion. Nozomi and Coco branch off and have a small heart to heart of their own, while Komachi and Nuts discuss the importance of life while they wait at the meeting point. You know, just ordinary small talk.

However, their conversation is interrupted by Bloody himself, sitting at a piano. He presents a Kowaina mask as his business card and drops it on the floor, turning the entire room into a writhing mass of arms and blocking the exit. His objective is fairly clear, he wants the Dream Collet from Nuts, and then he’ll be on his way. Of course, it’s not that simple. Komachi transforms and fights the arms, but Bloody’s best attacks are not physical, but mental. He stays right were he’s at and informs Nuts that he was the one who destroyed the Palmier Kingdom, and he did it because it was his job. Nuts’s job was to protect the kingdom, and he failed at that, which makes him unsuitable to use the Dream Collet, so he should hand it over. He continues to assault Nuts’s psyche by reminding him that Nuts opened the door that allowed for the siege to begin with, and now that they’re involving innocent people from another world in their battle, this world could end up destroyed like the Palmier Kingdom. While all of this is going on, Nozomi, Rin, Urara, and Karen have found the blocked off room, and try to fight their way in.

Back inside, Nuts very nearly hands over the Collet, but Cure Mint reminds him that he has a dream to fulfill of reviving the Palmier Kingdom, and she starts arguing with Bloody over who is worthy to use its power. He insists that it should be used by the powerful, while she maintains that it should be used by someone who knows, fears, and respects its power. She uses Mint Shield to protect Nuts, but some repeated attacks by the arms manage to break her barrier. Hope seems lost when suddenly her teammates burst through the wall and declare that there’s nowhere they can’t or won’t go to save their friends. Without breaking a sweat, Bloody slyly asks if that’s the source of their power, and why don’t they show him exactly what they can do? Each of them performs their enhanced special attack: Aqua Tornado, Rouge Burning, Lemonade Shining, and Crystal Shoot, dispelling the Kowaina. Bloody smirks and disappears to fight another day.

At a later date, Komachi walks into Natts House after school. Nuts thanks her for saving him the other day, and admits that he’s not as mature as he thought, since he was ready to hand over the Dream Collet. He then turns the subject to Komachi’s writing, since he notices she looks a little sleep deprived. He tells her that writing is important, but not at the cost of her health, and he’ll read anything she writes to help her become the best author she can, so he wants her to prioritize her well-being to do so. Tears of joy well up in her eyes because of his kindness, and the scene transitions to Komachi writing in the library. Karen looks over her shoulder to see what she’s writing, and Komachi says that this story is about a lonely woman who meets someone who opens up her heart. (subtle) The episode closes on her beaming face.

The Analysis

This episode gives me a lot to talk about but for once, I’ll start with the villains instead of the heroes. Bloody is not a character I really remember anything about from my first watch-through of this show back in 2013 or so. He appeared in the Christmas episode I watched in my 2018 Christmas special but he didn’t leave much of an impression there. I’m worried about what that means for his trajectory, because in this episode, he’s fantastic. Without ever transforming or taking any direct actions other than turning the room into a Kowaina he presents a severe threat to the girls. He manages to separate them from each other, overpower and trap Mint, and he nearly convinces Nuts to hand over the Dream Collet just by reminding him of his past failures. Even when Dream and the other girls manage to break through his barrier, he takes it in stride where any other villain would have panicked. They say “We’re stronger when we’re together!” and he goads them into using their attacks, getting a read on them, learning what their abilities are and figuring out how to thwart them in future encounters. He knows when he’s lost the fight, but you definitely get the sense he’ll be using what he’s learned the next time he goes head to head with the girls... which, according to the wiki, isn’t until episode 41. Sigh. It’s a great introduction, anyway.

I also want to highlight the fact that he didn’t create a monster Kowaina out of an object like everyone else so far has done, but he turned the entire room into one, which makes for a much more challenging battle for the girls and is a tactic that I wish was used more often, in all seasons. Instead of there being a singular enemy to focus their attention on, even if it’s fast or durable, attacks can come from any direction using this strategy and you never know where to turn. Even if Mint was able to ward it off for a few minutes on her own, she also nearly succumbed and would have lost if her friends hadn’t shown up at the last minute. Maybe she would have been able to pull a narrow victory, we saw in the last episode what some good old determination can do, but also Bloody is a very different beast from Hadenya. His ability to talk his opponents down is just as impressive as his actual power, which we are told is immense, since he was able to destroy the Palmier Kingdom by himself.

It is never explicitly stated that a Kowaina’s power and abilities are reflective of the one who creates it, only the kind of mask used, but it does seem that Bloody, being in a league of his own, has more powerful monsters, so I do wonder if this is the case... Of course Gamao also has really strong monsters, his main obstacle is being a lazy sack of shit, but we’ll touch on that next time.

Bloody’s ability to get inside of people’s heads shakes Nuts to his core, and it exposes a side of him that we haven’t really seen before. Sure, he’s always been reserved, and we knew he blamed himself for the fall of the Palmier Kingdom when he let in a pinky that turned out to be Girinma, but over the last few episodes the rest of the puzzle is starting to come together. We learned in episode 31 that Hadenya was the one who hurt Nuts so badly he went into hibernation in the Dream Collet, and now we find out that Bloody was the one who leveled the kingdom itself. Nuts has a lot of trauma associated with this, because it all comes back to him. Even if nobody else blames him, he blames himself, and the depths of his angst are a pretty mature topic for a show aimed at a young audience. I applaud the capacity for this show to handle it in a serious way and not brush off his suffering. He’s deeply hurt, and he realizes at the end he’s been holding onto a lot of grief, and he truly appreciates Komachi’s help in beginning to overcome it.

This represents a major step forward in their relationship. They started out rather tense, when he heavily criticized her novel, but both of them have grown closer as Komachi has seen and encouraged the softness inside of him. Now, she stands up for him at his most vulnerable, reminds him that he isn’t worthless or a failure, and that his compassion makes him the perfect person to be caring for the pinkies. In return for her support in achieving his goals, he promises to help her in any way he can to achieve hers, which for Komachi means he’ll read all her story drafts and help her become a better writer. Komachi and Nuts’s relationship is built on a mutual agreement to help and uplift each other, while Nozomi and Coco’s is built on achieving the same goal, and Karen and Milk’s is mostly about helping Milk to become a better person.

In summary this episode is a great exploration of one of the underappreciated relationships from the series, with perhaps the best first outing by a villain in the entire series to this point, even topping Ilkubo’s first appearance. As normal for this leg of the series there is some pretty weak art scattered about but it’s not too prevalent. You can view some of the worst offenders in my gallery. I will say though, the camerawork around Bloody is interesting, he’s often framed in extreme closeups of his face, tilted at an angle, and frequently only half of his face is shown. I’m not sure WHY because he’s not terribly expressive, but it’s something that stuck out at me on my screenshot capturing rewatch.

For record keeping purposes, it is now October in the show and thus the girls are seen back in their winter school uniforms with the lightly colored dress and dark purple blazer.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I let this little visual nod go unmentioned. In one scene, Coco is very clearly wearing Gurren Lagann sunglasses:

Gurren Lagann, Gainax’s high energy salute to super robot anime and the show that put Imaishi Hiroyuki on the map, premiered in April of 2007, so the producers of this series had plenty of time to include this little homage. If you’re not familiar, the pointed, angular sunglasses are a trademark element of both the titular robot itself and one of the main characters.

I can’t say definitively that it’s a reference but the timing of it feels very deliberate, so I’m calling it one.

Next time on Precure Daily, Gamao gets one last chance to defeat the Precures. Will he succeed? (no) Come back to find out how he loses!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 2 Kettei!

[ladyxgilex]

Chicken Problem.

Heeeeeey everyone! it is me! your favorite, slowest writer ever it is still alive! anyway, today writting it is a bit special, since @cartooniste2z it is always making amazing stuffs and art, i decided to return the favor and take some of him, hope you all enjoy it!

Btw, like i said @cartooniste2z make some amazing art, so i truly recomment you to see it and give it your opinion (he is a bit shy, so try an soft approach!) anyway, here it is!

Lix Le-Shade, also known as the Rainbow Dragon or the Rainbow Mercenary, gifted with a perseverance and persistence that borderline pure insanity, wieldier of magic, powers, weapons and knowledge beyond the dreams of many, a ferocious girl that would even punch gods in the face just because she feels like it, always ready to fight even the more powerful of the enemies without hesitation.

So, in the name of all that, why was she hugging a tree while hiding on it leafs?

Lix was trembling slightly, hugging the tree like her life depended on it, and it probably was. Her heart was running wild, each beat so loud that filled her ears, and thought an atheist, Lix was almost praying that her heart was not loud enough to tell her position, every hair and scale on her body was either raised or about to raise, chill after chill going across her body each time she listened the sound of giant steps around the tree.

Lix gulped loudly, every inch of mental power inside her was being used to either figure out how to get out of there or how did she get in that spot in the first place.

A few hours earlier, Lix was just minding her own business across one of the many, many, maaaany towns existing across the dimensions, trying to find a good way to pass the time or until someone tried to kill her for some reason she did not cared to remember.

That was the idea until she spotted someone dressed like a farmer in front of a mercenary group, or better said, spot the mercenary group rejecting the man offer even after this started to beg, taking that in count, the course of action was rather obvious.

Lix turned around and started to walk the same way she came from.

On her experience, that was a classic scenario of a dangerous underpaid job that none sane person would take, and Lix knew she was stupid enough to accept it even taking that in count, so the best course of action was walk away of it before she make anything stupid.

Unfortunately to Lix, that showed to be her mistake.

As Lix turned around, a young girl, curiously similar to the farmer was standing in front of her, holding an old piece of paper and rough colors on both hands.

Lix red eyes meet the dark brown eyes of the girl for a solid 10 seconds on complete silence.

Lix was the first to break the moment, taking a deep breath while looking at the sky, saying something on a forbidden long forgotten language, before turn around once more and walk towards the now lonely farmer.

- Please, help me to…..-

- Where?- Lix did not let the farmer end his sentence, instead she asked directions without delay.

- Excuse me?- asked the farmer, confused.

- Where am I supposed to go?- questioned Lix once again, an obvious annoying tone on her voice

- Y… you are not going to ask what the job is about? I mean….-

- I do not care- answered Lix, cutting the farmer sentence.

- The payment is….

- I care even less- once again, Lix cut the words of the farmer sharply.

- The background is….

- I.DO.NOT.CARE.- an heavily annoyed tone came out of Lix lips.

For a moment, the farmer honestly considered not giving her the job, however he did not had the luxury to actually turn down someone willing to help him.

-…… ok, but first, I must tell you the emotional value that….- even so, stubbornly, the farmer tried to tell his story once again, however...

- UUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!- Lix looked to the sky, groaning on frustration before turn around, looking at the young girl that was now drawing on a nearby table with her colors- where?

The young girl pointed to the west with one finger, while using the other hand to keep drawing.

Lix then made her way, leaving the farmer daughter drawing, while the farmer himself keep talking, so invested on his story that he did not noticed nobody looking at him.

Not long after that, she managed to see a farm in the distance, along with a shadow resting behind the barn. Just by looking at it, Lix could already feel a chill on the back of her neck, however she did not pay it attention, she had face giant monster before.

However, as Lix approached, a smell make her stop her movement, a smell she recognized perfectly. Misfortune strike her on that moment, the monster got up, and turn to look at her.

Lix entire body froze up at the look of the monster, her legs shivered as she could feel the blood going away of her face, every hair on her body raised up with a chill so powerful that Lix truly thought she was going to be freeze up in the spot, cold sweat started to form on the back of her neck while her mind tried to process her next move, that was, ultimately, very obvious.

She ran away.

However the monster was not one to show mercy, and pursued Lix on her escape attempt.

And that was how Lix end up on her actual spot.

Driven by curiosity, followed by a prolonged silence, Lix moved as slowly and quietly as she could to the protective border that the leafs offered, trying to peak on the outside perimeter.

What she found, however, make her entire body become as stiff like the iron.

One of the Yellow-Redish eyes of the Monster was just in front of her, the blackness of the center of its eye was so deep that Lix could swear that the darkness of the universe would look bright on contrast. The form of the monster make Lix stomach roar in disagreement, like wanting to vomit whatever food was inside itself.

The Monster, a creature so fearsome it rivaled a dragon's viciousness, was standing on 2 yellow limbs, 3 fingers in front and one on the back, each one with claws so sharp that could reap the strongest iron, most of the monster was covered on white, perfectly keep feathers that protected it from the most extreme cold, with no evidence of the blood of the thousand and more the Monster had surely ate already, two wings stood on what would be the Monster back, covered in fur like the rest of it is body, and while it was not capable of flying, Lix was sure that each flip of those wings would surely elevate storms and stop hurricanes, finally, it is long neck end up of a head shaped like that of an herbivorous, one eye at each side of the head, surely to spot it is prey better and faster, instead of a mouth, it had a peak that ended so sharp that could surely destroy any defense, and most horrifying, there was no teeth, so it is victims had to either be swallowed like a whole or in parts, prolonging their suffering. Lastly, on top of it is head, was a deep, bright red appendices, like a kind of a crown, to ensure it is dominance and power to it is rivals. The Descendant of an ancient Rival to the Dragons, the T-Rex.

To Lix, this was probably the most terrifying enemy she could ever face…… Chickens….

Lix stood there completely motionless, hoping, since the deepest of her heart, that this descendant had the old weakness of it is ancestors and was not capable of notice her if she did not move.

However, Lix hopes crumbled when the giant chicken turned it is head towards her, and even more when smaller, lesser chickens started to “fly” and rest on the nearby branches around her, surrounding her slowly, yet surely.

Although her heart was running crazy, Lix could feel her blood going colder with each new chicken, for a solid second, Lix truly thought that her blood was going to freeze on her veins. Without allowing herself to blink, Lix stood on the edge of the branch, holding her breath even when her lungs demanded air, using every last of her willpower to control her body of trembling, of showing weakness to such predator.

 Even with that, when Lix felt the sharp claws of one of the lesser chickens on her forehead, as well like an extra weight over her head, she could not make anything aside of scream internally at the idea of a chicken seating over her head, ironically, the crippling fear going across her body was the only thing keeping her conscious.

To Lix, each second was an eternity on itself, her mind was fully concentrated on allow her to keep in silence and motionless, so maybe, just maybe, she could walk out of the situation alive….

……Or that was the plan until one fateful, curious chicken decided to use it is bill to bite on what it was under itself.

-auch!- an involuntary small scream of pain escaped of Lix lips, sealing her destiny.

At once, all the lesser chickens, along with the giant chicken, turn their eyes towards the source of the noise, cold drops of sweat started to form on Lix forehead and the back of her next, brain cell not paralyzed by the fear gave a simple, yet understandable order.

“Run.”

Unfortunately, Lix was not fast enough.

Like meteorites covered on white feathers, the lesser chickens jumped in perfect synchrony over Lix, and without a second though, unleashed their fury towards the invaders, in the form of bites and claws against her skin.

-auch! Ahy! Ohuch! Aah!- attacked by a white storm of feather, claws and peaks, Lix lose her balance, hitting the branch that was just under her, and then the next one, one by one until her back hit the floor with a heavy sound-….. auch…..-

That did not meant the Chickens were done, however, since these gazed down onto Lix since the branches she just hit on her fall.

-….. oh come on- whispered Lix to herself, just a moment before the Chicken started to fall once again over her- auch! No! ahy! Stop! Auch acuh! That hurts! AUCH!- picking herself up, Lix barely managed to avoid the bite of the Giant Chicken, that made a hole in the ground of the size of Lix head.

-…. Nope, nope nope nope nope nope nope nope- repeating those words over and over, Lix turned around and started to run without looking back, she did not need it anyway, the sounds of several angry chickens, along with a giant angry chicken, that were now pursuing her was more than enough signal to Lix, along with material to fill her nightmares for a time.

Lix mind was fully and completely concentrated on move her legs as fast and strong like she could, every other thought was cast aside like unnecessary on her quest to leave the farm territory, and with luck, the Chickens territory. She could find that farmer and his daughter another farm, it was not worth fighting those chickens anyway.

Once again, her future plans did turn out like expected, as several dozens of chickens started to descend in front of her, materializing almost out of nowhere.

Lix almost broke her ankle taking a sudden change of direction, as the new horde of hellish animals joined the previous one on her pursuit. This repeated around 6 times before Lix started to wonder if her life had just become some kind of bad joke to some god or the like, but again, her life was already like that.

If anything, Lix was honesty grateful of the fact that the fear within her body was pushing her beyond the normal limit or her ankle would have break 5 minutes ago, infusing her body with magic….

Magic….

Suddenly remembering the fact that she was a MAGICAL Dragon, that could use MAGIC.AT.WILL, was such a revelation that Lix honestly planned to go back in time and slap herself on the face.

Turning around on a quick movement, Lix raised her arm towards the horde of chickens, which by now had thousands of the animals, aiming to the obvious leader, which looked back at Lix with eyes empty of any emotion. Of the hand covered on blue gloves, a purple thunder eructed into existence and made it is way towards the Giant Chicken itself, ready to extinguish such creature of the realm of the living.

The Purple Thunder was almost as fast like the light, not allowing the Giant Chicken to cover, hide or avoid the attack of the Dragon Girl, a smile appeared on Lix lips as she already dreamed of cook such opponent.

That same smile froze on her face as the Purple Thunder take a completely different direction, avoiding the Giant Chicken, the Lesser ones, all the trees on it is way, and came to hit a completely innocent barn, making it exploit and catch green magic fire.

Lix left eye twitched as the Giant Chicken stared at her like it was expecting something more impressive.

-…… but of course the Giant Chicken it is immune to Magic, why would not it? My luck it is just like That!- Lix complained to nobody in particular, seriously planning on just drop on the floor and wait for her destiny to finally arrive. Yet the part of her brain that still wanted to live gave another idea.

Instead of turning around, Lix started to run following the same path that the Purple Thunder did, avoiding the Giant Chicken, of course, and before long the pursuit started again, but with a slightly different approach.

Lix was not trying to run outside the farm territory, instead she was running to the barn that was burning down, casually near the center of the territory. Avoiding the trees and the lesser chickens, Lix started to run around the fire, and subsequently, the horde of chickens followed her example and run on circles around the flames.

The seconds turn onto minutes, and minutes turn on hours as the pursuit continued on circles, Lix felt each step being slightly more painful than the last, but slowly, her plans started to show results.

It started with the lower ranks, the weakest of course, one by one, then two, and without warning three at once, the middle ranks hold a bit better, but in the end they could not stand a chance, and finally, the leader and bigger problem hold it is ground with such ferocity that Lix almost felt respect, almost, he was the last one still holding but the signs were obvious already, it was going to fall like all the others.

Lix turned her head slowly, running at a seemingly slower rate, just to see the state of what once was the Leader of a Horde she could not imagine to win against. A evil smile cracked on her face unconsciously.

Fast breathings, the Giant Chicken was breathing quickly and loudly, it pace was not like before, it was moving slowly, each of it is steps was probably an hell of agony on it is own right, it eyes, usually with no emotions on them, were now filled on equal parts with determination and a tired feeling, the last becoming the dominant when, while taking another step, the Giant Chicken tripped, causing a loud noise accompanied by a small cloud of dirt, around it and all over of what remained of the barn skeleton was the entire horde of chickens.

With a wide smile of pure arrogance, Lix laughed loudly, mocking the animals, since they failed to realize their own weaknesses.

-HAHA! You dumb thing! Those feathers may protect you of the cold and my magic! But you will obviously overheat if you stay too much time around a fire!- each of Lix words was charged with pride and arrogance, mocking the enemy that once made her blood freeze without a second thought

The Giant Chicken seemed to want to tell something, yet the forces left on it is body did not allowed it to.

-caw…….-

Yet, Lix laugh and arrogant speech was cut completely by a simple sound, a sound that made a freezing chill pass across her back, making her not want to turn around, but again, she needed to, if death was coming for her, then she wanted to greet her properly.

What she found out did not disappoint her, or rather to say, it make her curse internally.

Thousands upon thousands of lesser chicken had gathered around the burned barn skeleton, forming almost a perfect circle around the horde last stand.

Taking a deep breath, Lix invoked a blue current of fire, setting the skeleton of the barn once again on arcane fire, and stepped inside it without a second thought, curling in the middle of the barn and watching the lesser chickens throwing themselves and falling to the ground on an effort to reach her, obviously without result.

-This is fine….-said Lix, with empty eyes while “enjoying” the view in front of her.

-The next day-

- What in the name of…..?- the farmer said, looking around with eyes of confusion and curiosity.

Around the few remaining pieces of a barn, were thousands upon thousands of chickens in the floor, still breathing, yet motionless and completely dizzies, and next to the barn skeleton, was a single giant chicken that could very well stop over a cow.

-ah….- to the Farmer, that was far from what he was expecting to see, even more when a humanoid figure raised of the ashes inside the structure, and walked to meet him and his daughter-… oh! It is you!-

The Farmer tried to make a smile, yet he had a difficult time doing that in front of the figure in front of him.

-yeah…- Lix tired voice escaped of her lips more like a groan than anything else, her clothes were covered in ashes and slightly burn, her face was dirty and had ashes as well, along some bags under her eyes, either of tiredness or anything else- problem solved-

To Lix, that had to stay up completely vigilant the entire night and half of a day without blinking to ensure none chicken entering on her perimeter, the view of the farmer and his daughter was the sign of a job well done.

-ah… well, actually no, our farm it is more over there- answered the Farmer, pointing to the west- I am actually a Fish Farmer, but recently there have been a black cat eating my fishes, so could you please push him away? I do not want the bad luck, but he is kind of cute, so I just want to move him elsewhere-

After the explanation, Lix and the Farmer looked each other in complete silence, until Lix placed her hand on the Farmer shoulder.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- said Lix, on a clear voice.

-wa-wait what? No… I am a fish farmer and- the Farmer started to argue thought.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- repeated Lix, adding some force to the hand on his shoulder.

-no… no I am not, I do not even know what Chickens eat and…. Uh, sorry that it is hurting me- once again, the Farmer tried to explain himself.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- without changing her tone in the slightest, Lix repeated those words, her other hand catching the free shoulder of the Farmer.

-Bu- but my family…. My family have been fish farmers for generations and….- before the Farmer could continue his argument, he felt the hands of Lix adding more and more force to the grip on his shoulders, and while her smile showed a kind and noble smile, the Farmer was pretty sure Lix was not having thought anywhere near none of those thing.

-YOU.ARE.A.CHICKEN.FARMER.NOW- Lix voice was deep and commanding this time, leaving out of question if was a request or not.

-Ye… yes ma´am, I am- the Farmer accepted his new occupation reluctantly, besides, ¿how different could chickens be of fishes?

After settling the minor details, Lix turned to see the daughter of the Farmer, which without wasting a second gave her a paper that had a simple drawing of Lix. Lix take it and save it on her cloak.

-a pleasure doing business with you- said Lix.

-The pleasure was all mine- answered the girl, on a sweet soft tone.

Finally free of the chains of her job, Lix started to walk around without looking back, setting course to the next town in which take a job.

-meow?-

Lix sensitive ears allowed her to follow the source of the sudden sound, finding a black cat making it is way towards the now officially chicken farm. Lix gazed at the black cat for a couple of second before deciding her next movement.

Lix started to run towards the opposite direction.

[taiblogcomics]

Earth, But Worse

Hey there, a plane for bats. Got more Red Hood this week, and surprisingly it's something we've been waiting for a while. Which is surprising that we want anything from Red Hood, but here we are~

And here's the cover:

This cover actually reminds me a lot of the cover to Red Hood and the Outlaws #1. Except a bit more boring, since they're not doing anything on this one. Bizarro--or Beardzarro, as I prefer to call him now--can't even be bothered to pose. Yeah, this cover is terrible, but surprisingly it still manages to sell itself with its text. Because, to be perfectly honest, the actual fate of Bizarro and Artemis is something I was honestly invested in. I don't like Jason, but I do want to know what happened to his friends~

Well, if you remember two issues ago, there was a minor plot thing where Jason discovered a hole that he figured could only be made by his missing friend Artemis. He hasn't seen them in a long while and believes them to be dead. We know better, but the specifics of their disappearance hasn't been revealed. Anyway, at the end of last issue, Jason intended to go back to Gotham with his new compatriots, but he had something to take care of first. And here it is! Jasen enters a park and talks to a creepy kid on the swingset. Yeah, you know it's concerning when the kid is creepier than the strange adult coming over to talk to the kid. This kid's name is Caden, and he has the powers to sync up with and copy the powers of the dead. Jason asks him to borrow Artemis and Bizarro's powers, and when he can't, it confirms for him that they're still alive.

And indeed they are! We rejoin them back on the last time we saw them. Which means we can also segue over here with this classic phrase: "Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...!" Except not quite. Being an alternate Earth, this building is named the Hall of Punishment, and has a bunch of spiky red rocks jutting from it. Naturally, they decide to explore it. And as they enter, we find them being watched. The first is a creepy-looking dude in a classic milkman uniform, whose art seems to be really awkward about him being able to hold things. Like an old video game model that can't close its hands. He is the Dairy King. The other is a teen girl named "Air Quote". Her "quirk" is that she uses a lot of "unnecessary quotation marks". She can also use her "hand" as a "phone" to "contact people" "long distance". I hope that's not "confusing" or anything~

Inside the Hall of Punishment, Bizarro and Artemis discover a big set of statues of the whole Justice League, all of which have been desecrated or partially destroyed in some way. Artemis figures it's a message. A museum guard happens by them, and quickly figures out they're legitimate superheroes. And since they don't know about Hero Day, they must not be from around here. He leads them into another room, where they find Superman. Or rather, Superman's corpse, his head crushed beneath the famous Daily Planet globe. The guard explains that just one day something happened, nobody knows what or why. But suddenly, everyone with powers just lost them--and everybody without powers gained some. This is punctuated by the guard suddenly turning red and spiky like the spires bursting out of the Hall of Punishment.

Artemis tries to call her axe to her, but instead it just sort of rends her soul. Wherever they are, whatever Earth this is, her axe is not here, and the effort of trying to call it exhausts her, leaving Bizarro to deal with Spiky Guard Man. The guy also confesses that basically everyone on this Earth is a dickbag. Apparently everyone felt opressed by superheroes, so when they lost their powers, they all rose up against them and killed them, flashbacks showing the defeats of Green Lantern John Stewart and Wonder Woman. Which, oh boy, has some problems not unlike the infamously bad "JLA: Act of God". I'll get into that at the end, but in short, Bizarro tells the guy that power doesn't make you a somebody--but it helps. And then he literally throws the guy into the sun. Damn.

Artemis wakes up, and she's pretty okay with Bizarro taking out that guy. The pair retreat, and catch sight of Dairy King, Air Quote, and some other goons looking to kill them. Of this group (including the ones already named), the only one of consequence is Flutterby, a woman with giant flaming butterfly wings. Like, what was even the point of setting up Dairy King earlier? No joke, he's not in the rest of the comic. Anyway, the pair begin to make a plan of what to do next, but are interrupted by a man in a purple waistcoat with a wide grin. He introduces himself as Jack Knife, and he'd like them to join his Resistance.

So we cut to six months later. This is right at the middle of the comic, so you could actually think of this as designed as being two separate issues they compiled into an annual to not interrupt Jason's ongoing story. This is especially evident by Jack Knife's appearance being followed with some "Will Artemis and Bizarro join the resistance!?" caption boxes that make little sense when you can just turn the page and find out that yes, they do. Anyways, six months later, and that Flutterby woman is being attacked by a man wearing an Iron Man suit made of cars. His name is Kennel, which is a pretty weird name for a guy who doesn't have dog powers.

Bizarro appears and destroys Kennel's suit with one punch. Flutterby begs Bizarro to finish the job, but Bizarro promised Artemis no killing. He takes a jewel from her, and walks away, deliberately pretending like he's not noticing her lingering behind to roast Kennel alive. After all, he promised he won't kill anybody. Bizarro is clever enough to figure out loopholes, I'm impressed. We cut over to the Pentagon, where Artemis is trying to get through a cell. Jack Knife is rambling to himself, and two guards show up. Artemis and Jack beat them up, but Artemis has to pull Jack away from getting more vicious.

Flutterby and Bizarro return to their own friends, which appears to be inside the fallen top of the Washington Monument. But enough of that scene! All we needed to see was them reuniting with their friends, I guess, because we then cut back to Artemis and Jack fighting their way deeper into the Pentagon. They've found the guy they're looking for: General Samuel Lane, Lois Lane's father. See, he's tired of imposing his will on this Earth. All the superheroes are dead, and the world is orderly now. So he's going to turn his attention elsewhere--or should I say elseworlds. He's planning to tunnel into Bizarro and Artemis' home Earth and kill all the superheroes there too.

But he can't do this alone. Enter the Lex Luthor of this planet, who has been turned into a giant mangled brain with a face, fused to an ATV. Lex reveals he was the one behind Hero Day, which also accounts for his current... condition. Like, I mean, at least MODOK or Hector Hammond still had arms. I'd also say they at least still had hair, too, but Lex was never particularly blessed in that department. Anyway, that's the past. What's important is the future, given Lex's plans and all. So how is he planning to get to Earth-Prime and kill the mainstream universe? Simple. Remember the Quantum Doorway that Bizarro and Artemis used to get here? Remember how it exploded? Lex has spent all this time putting it back together. Only took him six months, too! Guy must be a whiz at jigsaw puzzles. Or not--again, no arms~

He does, however, have psychic powers--because when you're a giant brain, you gotta have something--and zaps Artemis. While his guard is down during the zapping, though, the Resistance suddenly jumps in and attacks. They have a teleporter on their team, they just need someone to link between the two places. So it was all about getting Artemis in there, and having them follow. They also brought a big ol' sword for Artemis, who plunges it into Lex's brain--which is all of him--and kills him. They then slot that gemstone Flutterby retrieved into a device, hoping it'll undo the whole Hero Day event. The original heroes may be dead, but it beats having everyone else have powers, if they're all such psychos about it.

And... That's the end! Artemis and Bizarro say their farewells, and they go leaping into the Quantum Doorway, hoping that this leap will be the one that takes them home. We won't find out, however, because the ending tagline then promises to see if they return in Red Hood #37. Considering the last one I reviewed was issue 31, maybe I did this one a little early. But it's where it was in my stack, so why shouldn't it be correct~? Seemed like a great place for a break in the arc to me. Well, whatever. Come back in... mid-April, I guess, and we'll see if they made it back~

So, yeah. Let’s start with the Act of God problem first: not all superheroes have superpowers. They specifically show John Stewart getting killed here, and John is just a regular guy. The ring gives him abilities, but he is not himself a superhuman. A magic gene bomb--as it’s revealed to be the eventual cause of the mass depowering/empowering--should not have turned off his ability to use the ring. This also doesn’t account for other superheroes who don’t have powers--DC being pretty famous for this. There’s a desecrated statue of Batman in the Hall of Punishment, but shouldn’t Batman have gained powers from this event?

There’s one other question I would like to address. Jack Knife. His name, his appearance, his creepy grin, insane ramblings, violent demeanor... His entire physique (save for not having the white skin or green hair) and mannerisms call to mind the Joker. But there’s never any reveal of him being, like, a Joker who lost his superpower of being insane. I mean, that’d be bullshit, but at least it’d be an explanation for why he’s so... Jokery. That’s my big gripe here. The comic sets up this whole world for Artemis and Bizarro to struggle in, and then doesn’t want to explain any of the details of this world. This goes as far as Flutterby being one of the people hunting them down on one page, and then six months later, being part of the Resistance at the turn of a page.

We wanted to know what happened to Bizarro and Artemis, but I gotta say... the answer was extremely unsatisfying. And as a minor note, for a thing that only names Jason in the series title anymore (notice the switch to Red Hood: Outlaw), this issue sure barely had him factor into it in any significant way~

[poppytheorist]

Me Laughing

must’ve been one hell of a joke

Preamble

So, I was in the middle of writing a piece on [redacted] when Poppy released a 27-minute video of herself laughing. Naturally, that took priority. Sorry for my absence, this post took some time. And by “some time,” I mean “45 hours.”

This may be the best thing I’ve written, but it’s also the most insane thing I’ve written. In fact, I would label this post as ‘maddening.’ It’s possible you won’t be able to look at Poppy the same way again. I know I don’t. You can’t unread this, readers beware, [other dramatic warnings], etc., etc.

Descend when ready.

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I thought “Concrete” was pretty #wild, but “Me Laughing” takes the cake. This video is pure lunacy, and I mean that somewhat literally since Poppy does laugh at what appears to be nothing for almost half an hour.

Due to the sheer insanity of “Me Laughing,” I’ve put together a handy little collage to help readers follow along. Behold: my barely passable Paint skills!

the pic for Section 4 basically explains everything

Before we begin, I need to address a few things. There’s at least, like, nine people who read this stuff, and while I can’t say that I envy you, I can say that I appreciate you. Thanks for sticking around.

However, there’s a funny thing that happens when you know you’re writing for an audience. You feel pressured to adapt your style. I feel the need to be a little more careful about some of the things I say, but that’s probably for the best. Hopefully this extra care will result in more coherent posts, but I doubt it.

This post will be long. Partially because “Me Laughing” is long, partially because I’ve padded this out with shaky theory about how the world works. Guess that’s no different than my other posts, but still, feel free to tune that out if you’re just here for the Poppy stuff, though maybe you’ll find some of it interesting.

I tend to write authoritatively, which may be misleading because I’m not always confident about what I’m saying. I simply enjoy taking things to their natural conclusions. Typically, there’s something interesting at the end. Or, at least, a premise insane enough to make writing about it enjoyable. See, for example, my post on “Concrete.” This post won’t be much different, maybe just a little crazier.

Now, I’ve got a funny feeling that some people may think I am “reading too much into this” or that Poppy’s work “isn’t that deep.” Hey, I get it. Those objections are completely understandable. I was once there myself, but now I’ve moved away from thinking that way. I’ll do my best to explain why.

From what I’ve seen, aesthetics (roughly: the study of art) is a total battlefield. Nobody agrees on anything, everybody thinks that only they can ‘properly’ understand art and that everyone else is wrong. There’s people who think beauty is objective, there’s people who think “no, that’s stupid, beauty is obviously subjective,” and there’s even the people who outright deny that aesthetics exists. Recently, we also had the pleasure of witnessing the aesthetics debate become another facet of the everlasting culture war. Think a line from “Play Destroy” sums my thoughts about that up: “oh boy!”

Needless to say, it’s a massive shitshow.

Despite my rather war-torn depiction of modern aesthetics, it might be a good thing that we can never ‘understand’ art. I hear that’s, like, part of the point. If art was ever ‘solved,’ well, we’d be faced with the idea that there is nothing ‘special’ about being human, that we’re just sacks of meat bumbling around with no purpose. Then everybody would, like, die or something. Truth hurts, art heals, let’s stay alive.

Anywho, I mention all this because there’s no rigorous way to determine how ‘deep’ a song (or any piece of art) is. You can’t just take a stick, poke it into some art, and say: “yep, this Poppy song is 75 [metres/fathoms/hands/whatever nonsense unit] deep!” Besides, nobody even agrees what ‘artistic depth’ means, and most attempts to define it flounder. If you listen closely, you can just faintly hear Goodhart laughing.

This is also why people who think they can ‘objectively’ analyze art are dogmatic blowhards. Any amount of rigorous thinking reveals that our standards for what make art ‘good’ or ‘bad’ are entirely baseless. No, seriously, it’s a case of channeling your inner Socrates and repeatedly asking ‘why’ until the other person throws their up their arms, leaves, and stops answering your texts.

We don’t even know what art is, so thinking you can ‘understand’ art and judge its ‘depth’ is pure arrogance. At least, until someone finds a way to math that shit. “Sounds solipsism.” Well, ya gotta start somewhere.

Now, does this mean we should also throw up our arms, say: “screw it” and return to binging Netflix and eating foods that you know aren’t good for you but you eat them anyways because they make you feel good and that’s what you need right now? Well, no, actually.

Even if we aren’t 100% sure what art is, or what we should do with it, there are some theories on art that I would call: “pretty not-terrible.” Some people have spent their entire lives thinking about these things and their insights are fascinating. However, I’m not here to talk theory. If you want to learn more, go pick up a book or something, nerd.

Anyway, one time this German guy said: “without music, life would be a mistake.” He also said that looking at things from multiple perspectives is pretty neat, so that’s what we’re here to do. Turns out art is kinda fun and spending a bit more time thinking about it pays dividends.

See, art just wants to be understood and so does Poppy. I want to give her and Titanic the benefit of the doubt and take them seriously as artists. While I don’t think everything they produce is God’s gift to earth (see: [redacted]), I do enjoy the majority of their work. Plus, the abstract and absurd nature of their content means writing about it is a blast.

Whether I truly believe any of the interpretations I come up with is irrelevant. Hell, I’m not even sure half of what I say even remotely resembles what Poppy and Titanic envisioned. But, that’s not the point. Shallow readings are a dime-a-dozen, see: Genius; I’m here to provide something better. To show that Poppy’s work, or any art, really, can be a whole lot more fun if you spend even just a teensy bit of time analyzing it. Hopefully I can also provide some of the tools to do so.

Enough rambling, let’s get into it.

Intro

At first glance, “Me Laughing” seems like Poppy doing cute ASMR for 27(!!) minutes while simultaneously trolling anyone who expected a video titled “Me Laughing” to be about anything different. Sure, but that reading gets a ‘B’ for ‘Basic.’

Yes, Poppy and Titanic often troll their audience. See: “A live Interview with Poppy.” But the trolling is both part of the delivery of their message and part of the message itself. So while “Me Laughing” looks like a simple ASMR troll video, I’m going to argue that it’s not.

Previously, Poppy released videos like “Delete Your Facebook” and “I’m Poppy.” Fun vids, but they’re made of looped clips. Thirty seconds in and you’ve watched the whole thing. Consider: “Me Laughing” is 27 minutes, but no parts are looped, it’s all original. As always, I’m just here to ask: why?

Since “Me Laughing” is not made up of looped clips, but is instead all original content, there is an inherent progression to the events. Each segment is unique, and when considered sequentially, pieces from each section build on each other to produce an artistic whole.

Yes, that’s a fancy way of saying it has a ‘story.’

Also, if you’ve watched the video, you’ll know that something just feels ‘off.’ If “Me Laughing” was ‘just’ Poppy ASMR, why does she constantly focus on a single point in the distance? What’s with Poppy’s frequent stares into the camera? And why the fuck is she wearing latex?

Clearly, something else is going on.

Detailed Summary

Let’s recall what actually happens in “Me Laughing.” Hopefully this recap will convey a sense of what ‘else’ exactly is going on and make the insane claims later on in the analysis a tad easier to swallow.

“Me Laughing” starts off pretty normally. Sections 1 and 2 are mostly Poppy laughing, as promised. Even in these early sections, however, we can still pick out some peculiar things.

In Section 1, and throughout the video, we see Poppy looking upwards as she laughs, as if she was remembering something funny that happened. Or as if she was thinking about something for a while and suddenly found it hilarious. “Maybe Poppy just looks upward when she laughs.” Doubtful. Try doing it right now. Feels weird, right? Whatever, moving on…

Next oddity: there’s a strange transitioning shot at the start of the video and between Sections 1 and 2 where the camera sweeps over Poppy’s latex-ed body. “Well, maybe Titanic just thought it would be cool to do it like that.” Yes, but why did he think it would be cool? Why that transitioning shot, out of all the possible ones? What purpose does it serve?

Also: Section 1 was a very steady shot, probably filmed using a tripod, or whatever fancy word camera-people use. However, the shot for Section 2 is shaky. Like, weirdly shaky. Maybe even too shaky. And this isn’t the only section filmed this way, half of “Me Laughing” is too. “Well, maybe Titanic can’t hold a camera steady.” No, that doesn’t seem right. We know Titanic can, in fact, hold a camera steady, or, at the very least, he possesses the means to take a steady shot. See: literally all Poppy videos. No, the shaky-cam is intentional. Again, I’m just here to ask: why?

Now, I don’t mean to tip my hand too much here, but to me, the camera’s sway resembles the unsteady gaze of a curious observer. Perhaps one who is timidly stepping around the beheld, drinking in all the angles. Recall my post on “Touch Poppy.” With steady camera shots, it’s easy to forget someone is on the other side, but with unsteady shots, it’s downright impossible to ignore, e.g., “wow, that shaky-cam is really noticeable. What is this, a shitty sequel to the Blair Witch Project?” Perhaps these sections were filmed this way to emphasize the presence of an observer. As for why such a thing would be emphasized—well, we’ll get to that.

Around the 3:30 mark, Poppy shakes her head and clearly utters a, “m-mm,” as in, “nuh-uh, no way.” This gesture is repeated throughout the video. I’ll let you think about that one.

The video continues, and at 3:52 the camera lazily pans down, focusing on Poppy’s body and cutting her head out of the shot for several seconds, similar to the transition shot from Section 1 to 2. Thirty seconds later, the same thing happens. Guess this isn’t just Titanic diversifying the shot composition. It’s also about this point where attempts to pass “Me Laughing” off as anything resembling a ‘normal’ video start to fall apart.

Poppy’s sitting position in Section 3 is both clever and hilarious. It shows her whole get-up, highlighting how absurdly tall her platform shoes are. She also flip-flops her feet back and forth several times as if to further emphasize her mega-shoes. Why would she wear such crazy shoes for a simple video of herself laughing?

That’s not all that’s ‘off’ about Section 3—this is also the first section where Poppy stares at a spot in the distance for a prolonged period of time. In several instances, she quizzically tilts her head to the side, not unlike a faithful dog trying to decipher commands from her master. At 6:23 we also get a clear “huh,” a noise of acknowledgement, of understanding. Further, Section 3 has several stretches of silence where Poppy is no longer laughing. She just sits there while you watch. It’s… unsettling.

Section 4 is shot in a similarly shaky-style to Section 2, but this time with Poppy sitting down. Also, we see instances of Poppy focusing on something off in the distance both when she is laughing and when she is not, as was the case in the previous sections. However, there are some weird things about Section 4 that set it apart from the others and further develop the video.

Around the 8:38 mark, Poppy utters a “mm-mm-mm” sound while shaking her head and staring off into the distance. It’s fairly clear that she is communicating with something off-screen. Perhaps entities that are invisible to us. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say these off-screen entities are the things making her laugh.

We will see more evidence of Poppy supposedly communicating with invisible beings later, however, this is bordering on fetishizing Poppy’s lore as opposed to analyzing her artistic message. If you’re half-learned on Poppy lore (which, you better be, considering the fact that you’re reading this), this would be like focusing on the identity of ‘They’ instead of the significance of ‘They.’ Another example would be focusing on the ‘origin’ of Poppy, e.g., is she an android? Who is her creator? Etc., instead of asking why someone would create the artistic work of Poppy in the first place and/or considering the implications of said work.

If you’ve read anything else I’ve written, perhaps you’ve noticed that I try and stay away from acknowledging that Poppy even has lore. I want to take Poppy seriously, not literally. Or, in “pretentious asshole” terms, to consider her work artistically, not canonically. There are many reasons for this and I didn’t just get here randomly overnight, but that’s for another post.

Edgy ranting aside, there’s another part of Section 4 that I’d like to point out. Before this section, there was only a single instance of Poppy looking into the camera (happened in Section 2), but in Section 4, she frequently looks into the lens, acknowledging that an observer is present. She shoots this observer a flurry of dark and mischievous glances. Then she laughs.

Section 5 features more head shaking, distant staring, etc., but it is also a relatively sad section. Poppy laughs very little, and frequently looks down. Yes, a pun. Poppy has been laughing for most of the video, so why, all of a sudden, does she seem so sad?

Section 6 is shot shakily and close-up. I mean, really close-up. Like, right-in-her-face close-up. To the point where the camera is often out of focus. We’re also given a blatantly voyeuristic sweep over Poppy’s chest as the camera shifts position around her. Further, there are several instances where Poppy looks deep into the camera, with what I refer to as a “model pout,” where she slightly parts her lips and opens her eyes wide. Recall my post on “Computer Boy” where I talked about the fan-idol relationship. That lustful look? It’s for you, except everybody knows it’s not.

Quick note: I will elaborate on this when I talk about “You’re Too Close,” but it’s important to stay mindful and know that despite some uncomfortably voyeuristic shots in “Me Laughing,” it doesn’t necessarily mean that the video, or anyone who worked on it, is, y’know, perverted or something. Depicting the voyeuristic nature of idolism is how we talk about the voyeuristic nature of idolism, the same way that depicting racism is how we talk about racism.

The problem is that nowadays, we are trained to think quickly, not critically. Your initial response (also called your ‘knee-jerk’ response) to Poppy’s work shouldn’t be your final response to it. It’s important to consider context and think carefully. Ask yourself: why would Poppy choose to show you this? What does she want you to think about? What is she trying to tell you?

Section 7 is where things start to get really fucking weird.

Previously, I said that there was something darker lurking in “Me Laughing,” and Section 7 is where this darkness begins to manifest. The segment starts with Poppy having another one of her imaginary conversations with demons or whatever where she nods her head and gives some “mm-hmms” in agreement. Shortly after, she looks right at the camera and laughs in your face. Not only is her laugh absolutely maniacal, but it seems completely sincere too. This section really relates the feeling that you are not in on the ‘joke’—maybe the joke’s about you.

Section 7 also provides a sense of violent foreboding: a creeping feeling that something is going to happen to you, but you don’t know what that ‘something’ is, and you have absolutely no power to stop it. What really drives this sense of helplessness home is the way the scene is shot. At one point, the camera spends a few seconds just looking at Poppy’s hand. This emphasizes your lack of control. You are completely at the mercy of the camera’s whims. You only see what is shown to you. Then, as the scene closes, the camera is put down in front of Poppy, and, after a few tense seconds, she slowly reorients her body and starts crawling towards you. Luckily, the camera is picked up before she reaches it—you were saved, but what if you hadn’t been?

Oh, right, I forgot to mention: Poppy didn’t laugh much in this section.

Section 8 is a more amped-up version of Section 6. We get Poppy staring deep into the camera for almost the entire scene’s duration. Her lustful gaze relates a feeling of vulnerability, like you are spying on a defenseless little girl, but at the same time, it feels like she is giving you one last dose of what you want before she brutally murders you.

Section 9 is fairly straightforward. We have Poppy staring at a fixed point in the distance as if she is receiving orders from her alien overlord. We also get several rapid glances toward the camera, as if her orders somehow involve you, or as if she and someone else are sharing gossip about you right in front of your face.

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…And then Section 10 happens.

Poppy says: “goodbye.”

In Section 10 we have a bit of a climax. No, not that kind of climax. Well, unless this essay is really doing it for you.

The first interpretation of Section 10 is fairly basic, Poppy is waving goodbye because you’re about to die. Obviously, whatever scheme she and her invisible monster friends cooked up is going to be carried out, and it’s probably going to result in the destruction of everything, yourself included. This is sad, probably, but she seems to find it highly amusing. Again, I’m not a fan of obsessing over canon or lore, so I’ll tackle this one slightly differently in the analysis, but I do think this reading of “Me Laughing” is at least semi-faithful to Poppy and Titanic’s vision. This interpretation also serves as a very nice teaser for P3. I mean, if “Do you disagree?” has told us anything, P3 will have a lot of destroying.

The next reading of Section 10 involves the objectifying nature of idolism. Yes, the $5 words are starting to come out, brace yourself. Anyway, in this section, Poppy giggles as she waggles her hands around, back and forth then forth and back, as though she is using her hands for the first time. Almost like a shiny, new automaton discovering its motor functions. It’s cute, but silly. And by silly, I mean overly silly. You have to remember that Poppy is played by a woman in her mid-20s. Reminds me of some lines from “Hard Feelings”: “my arms and my legs are so stiff / Is that the way you wanted it?” Or, rather, is this how you want her to act?

At the end of the section, the camera moves right up to Poppy’s face and she looks at you and just… stares.

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And stares…

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And stares…

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She knows.

Finally, we get to Section 11, which would be my main argument against the totally boring ‘Poppy communicating with demons’ reading. Poppy is seated, again, with her arms wrapped around her thighs. Note again the sense of her smallness and vulnerability transmitted by her sitting position. Also note the way the shot is filmed, with the camera looking down on Poppy and frequently swooping in for close passes.

And then, in the last two seconds, something really bizarre happens. For a brief moment, some foreign object enters the shot, just in the very corner. Now, I’m about to make a weird argument, be wary of it. Other than the random piece of equipment entering the shot, “Me Laughing” does not end off on a noteworthy moment. Just Poppy sitting there, looking up at the camera. Plenty of instances of that. The video could have easily been trimmed by 2 seconds and nothing would have changed. We can also (probably) assume that somebody carefully reviewed this video before it was uploaded.

We’re left the possibility that those last two seconds were left in the video for a reason. And that reason is—

Hey, wait a minute, was that a mirror?

Analysis

“Me Laughing” is a really interesting video, and you can have a lot of fun if you spend some time looking into it, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do. We’ll tackle it from several different angles, watch for the switches.

Quick words of warning here: I’m about to use the words ‘parody,’ ‘satire,’ and ‘sarcasm’ interchangeably, a practice some would refer to as: “really fucking lazy.” Frankly, I don’t give a damn, I’m not a professional, I’m going to type my silly words anyway and you can’t stop me.

As content loses any sense of shame in attempting to draw your attention, nuance withers away and it becomes harder and harder to differentiate parody from parodied. For example, is “Old Town Road” criticizing the state of the music industry or embracing it? Now, I’m positive that Lil Nas X has the self-awareness of my pug when he’s lapping up his own boogers, yet I personally couldn’t write a song that so perfectly encapsulates everything wrong with modern music. So, is “Old Town Road” a parody or not?

This is where someone ripping off Westworld would say: “if you can’t tell, does it matter?” to which I would answer: “yes, yes it does.”

Context may be fleeting, unreliable, and arguably nonexistent, but I still believe it’s possible to differentiate parody from parodied, it just takes a little more effort. See, I think “Me Laughing” is satirical as hell, especially considering its context within Poppy’s body of work and how it compares to mainstream internet content.

First, consider that the frankly-titled video “Me Laughing” was hyped up for three days before it ‘premiered’ on YouTube. Hilarious, but also incisive. Who waits three days to see someone laugh? “Well, I did.” Ah.

The sarcastic nature of the video also shines through in the description, which reads: “A motion picture starring Poppy.” There’s a tired, yet necessary, statement here on the continuing degradation of internet content. What won’t people eat up?

We all know Poppy’s no stranger to sarcasm. See: “Bleach Blonde Baby” or “Poppy loves Politics.” She will often refer to her videos as “high quality internet content,” while uploading videos of herself eating cotton candy or ‘ooo-ing’ at things. With “Me Laughing,” a video where she laughs for 27 minutes, Poppy further questions where the line is regarding what content people will happily consume.

Fun story: I’ve seen people call “Me Laughing” ASMR. In fact, I think I did, at some point. Huh, I should probably change that. This isn’t totally wrong, but know that “Me Laughing” takes so many shots at ASMR you’d think the video shared a set with Sicario. And, if that’s the case, they could have saved some money and just filmed the video in my neighborhood haha… hah… ha… (seriously though I’m in danger)

Considering “Me Laughing” as a genuine ASMR video would obviously be antithetical to Poppy’s entire body of work. Recall lyrics like: “Poppy is an object.” No, “Me Laughing” is much more than simply Poppy recording cute ASMR.

Poppy has been questioning the nature of people’s ASMR obsession since her first YouTube video, “Poppy Eats Cotton Candy,” where she had the mic uncomfortably close to her throat so her little gulps and coos were clearly audible. What leads to people wanting to hear these things?

Zoom out: many of Poppy’s videos are about obsession. Forget that and the point will fly right over your head. Let’s now reframe the question: why would people want to hear such intimate sounds from Poppy? Answer that and “Me Laughing” will make a lot more sense.

What I’m about to say next will be very dense because it will outline the thesis of a large part of Poppy’s work. Sorry, hopefully it’s still readable. I’m still developing my interpretations of her work, and I promise to expand and explain them more in the future.

I’m also sure some fans will want to stab me in the neck with a rusty spoon for this post because it’ll appear like I am directly criticizing them. In reality, I am actually insinuating that Poppy is criticizing them, but nuance is dead, knee-jerk reactions reign supreme. Whatever. If you react that way, it means you’re so eyeballs deep in obsession that you fail to realize why Poppy courts your obsession in the first place. Poppy’s work entices fans to obsess over her, but it also berates those who do so.

Note that this is all as a means of criticizing the status-quo. And guess what: fans are part of the status-quo. It stings when you realize your idol’s criticisms are actually about you, but I’m not convinced Poppy is malicious. She wants you to be a better person.

This is my best estimate of her thesis: the nature of the objectification of celebrities is rooted in a sexual obsession—that is, a desire for their bodies. Pun intended. Objectification stems from fantasizing over what the celebrity shows you, which is almost always physical, or at least results in the fantasy manifesting itself as a physical representation.

In other words: “everybody wants to be Poppy.”

Poppy recognizes the inherently sexual obsession with figures in the ASMR community. She wears latex in “Me Laughing” to draw attention to this. It’s as if she was saying: “this is what you’re here for, right?”

Note that obsession is inherently progressive. It grows and grows, eventually leading to fans voyeuristically observing the objectified person’s intimate bodily functions. This culminates in “Me Laughing.” Poppy knows what you want, but as payment, she’s going to leave a nagging feeling in your brain that somehow you have done something wrong. That you shouldn’t really be watching this video, but she knows you are.

Recall Titanic’s comments about making people slightly uncomfortable. Consuming is harder with a lump in your throat. The key to understanding Poppy’s work is to ask why she wants you to feel uncomfortable. What about your behavior does she want you to realize?

Earlier in the post, I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of the whole ‘Poppy talking to demons about destroying the world’ reading because it comes dangerously close to obsessing over her lore. Lore is like history without the usefulness, so I’m going to ignore it. Regardless, I said I would use that interpretation for something more interesting, so I’d like to ask:

What makes someone want to destroy the world?

Throughout “Me Laughing,” Poppy shoots dark glares at the camera. There’s something sinister in her eyes, something genuinely evil lurking in her gaze. We know she obviously has an immense disdain for the status-quo. What else would lead to lyrics like: “down, let it all burn down / burn it to the ground”?

Preceding any cries of “viva la revolución!” or “apocalypse, now!” is an implicit judgement that what is left of the world is either not able to be saved, or not worth saving. That tearing everything down and beginning anew is preferable to salvaging what remains. To reach such a mindset, one would need to see modern society with such disgust and be so disenchanted with our current world that it no longer appears worth preserving. One would also need to have given up hope on the ability for people to come together and solve their problems. To have lost hope in humanity’s ability to adapt and overcome. To think that perhaps our problems have become too big for us to solve, that perhaps we have finally dug too deep a hole to climb out of.

Again, people don’t reach a hopeless mindset overnight; it takes many steps to descend into the darkness. But, the numpties on r/GetMotivated tell me, “every journey begins with a single step,” so let’s take one together.

In a tweet, I mentioned that “Me Laughing” was also about absurdism. No, that wasn’t a typo for ‘absurdity.’ I may write ridiculously deep-dives into Poppy lyrics and lore, but I try not to waste words.

Anyway, let’s play a game. I call it the “imagine something real quick because I need to prove a point” game.

Imagine being stuck in a system. Yes, it’s cliché to use the word ‘system,’ and any time you do, it carries the connotation that you are some conspiracy nut, e.g., “you can’t trust the system man!” I understand all this, please just bear with me and let me use the word, it’s useful. Anyway, you don’t like the system because a lot of the system is bad and it’s slowly, but surely, getting worse. The cracks are starting to show and the whole thing is poised to come crumbling down. Okay, that’s not good, you want to tell people about this. To warn them. However, in order to obtain a sizable audience for your message, you need to first succeed within the system, and to do that, you need to play by the system’s rules.

Okay, no sweat, you release some pop songs. There’s a couple of them that people really dig. Unfortunately, the songs people like don’t contain much of your message. They have a watered-down version of it at best. That’s a little sad, but oh well, at least you’re getting some sort of message out there. Hey, maybe if you make the music video really weird, people will realize there’s something more going on! Hm, that didn’t seem to work either.

So you release some YouTube videos too. Some of them are pretty biting, especially that one on politics. Should get people thinking, right? Hah, no, wrong. People like them, yes, but not for the reasons you want. They like them because they’re “weird” and “addictive” e.g., “its 3 AM on a school night and I’m still watching Poppy videos why can’t I stop lolol.” Imagining that the videos contain some sort of Illuminati-esque hidden message to decode is preferable to examining the real-world implications of the work. Plus, like, there’s experts for that, right?

Anyway, a couple albums and hundreds of videos later, you have a sizable following, sweet, now you can transition to doing what you’ve always wanted to. Change the persona to something a little truer to yourself. Make your message a little clearer. Finally, you have the power to change the world like you always promised you would.

Uh-oh, Houston, we’ve got a problem. Your audience listened to you for X, but now you’re giving them Y. It’s not a total loss, though. You have a lot of loyal members in your audience, and they like your new stuff too. Doesn’t matter what you make, they’re loyal, they’ll watch/listen/whatever to it. Their dedication has become investment which has become even more dedication. In fact, they’ve been following you since the start, when you were first trying to get big. “Yes, but I was trying to get big because I wanted to spread a message and to do that I had to make compromises to grow an audience so people would liste—“

They also have their own ideas of what you’re saying, plus, like, they make neat art, here, check this out, please give this a listen, look at this, read this, please, please? “Hey, nice article. Wait, the next one is how many words?!” And you keep every piece of fan art because it really does mean a lot to you. “Wow, I appreciate it, that’s beautiful, thank you. Oh, what? There’s even more?” Hey, if you have spare minute, could you give a shout-out to my friend? It’s her birthday. “Sure, hold on…” It’s also my birthday tomorrow, could you give this post a like? “Um, okay, just give me a minut—“ Also, could you answer my DM on Instagram? It’s important. And after that there’s only 100 more to answer! kk thanks! “Wait… one second… whoa!”

Now you’re releasing Z, hopefully that will get your message across…

…

…

…

Wait—what was your message again?

…

…

…

Oh no.

…

…

…

Somewhere along the way, probably between performing [this] and signing [that], the essence of your message was lost. Whatever remains has been drowned out by the noise of the system. If we’re talking decibels, notifications are loud, problems are whispers, and these days everyone’s got ear plugs.

Thinking about problems is hard, thinking about them for too long is sad, being sad is uncomfortable, hey, look, Taylor Swift just dropped a new album, that “Lover” song is dope, let’s look at memes.

So, you want to change the system. But to change the system you need power. To get power, you need an audience. But the only way to get an audience is to make content that gets rewarded by the system. And the content that gets rewarded by the system is that which is easily digestible for a large audience, i.e., devoid of substance. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “Turn Down for What” resulted in much positive social change. “Well, maybe the system should reward content that is creative, challenging, and conscientious instead!” Ah, yes, I see what you mean. So, you want to change the system…

Pass the mic, Camus, I’ve got a real knee-slapper for ya. Oh, right, guess I’ll just grab it myself.

These days, we’re faced with a new kind of absurdism, one which involves recognizing that societal systems are getting worse and need changing, while simultaneously recognizing that you are chained by said systems, and thus, powerless to change them.

This new absurdism describes the maddening exercise in doublethink where people wrestle with the knowledge that they should be Making The World A Better Place but also the knowledge that they cannot possibly live in a way that satisfies such capitalized phrases. The end result is a mental tearing fueled by impossible societal expectations and the inevitable guilt of failing to live up to them.

After a while, people stop fighting. They give up. They give in. When enough people throw in the towel, all that’s left is to hold on tight and enjoy the ride, e.g., the trajectory is set, all aboard, no, there aren’t enough seat belts for everyone, must have been one of those damn cost-saving initiatives.

“Yeah, that definitely sounds absurd. So… what do we do about it?”

Well, sometimes all you can do is laugh.

[kip-quest-blog]

It’s been a good year.

We’re coming up on KipQuest’s first year anniversary and it is with a heavy heart and a conflicted soul that I announce that I am going to be closing this blog.

What happened? D:

Nothing happened in the traditional sense. I came out here for a good time and I had a good time and then I stopped having a good time. So I decided that drastic measures needed to be taken. I don’t have the desire to quit pokeask blogging, or blogging in general, or art, or storytelling, or any of that.

I just want to quit this particular blog and all the other blogs attached to this primary blog outside of my artblog (which I made a sideblog for this exact reason) and Maat’s blog. The disconnect has been months in the making and it is not at all related to my mental health or my motivation for art, or even my lack of physical energy. I’d just rather be doing literally anything else and that’s a really really bad thing for a long term project.

I tried everything I could think of to get myself going again. Memes, interactions, hiatus, total disconnect from Tumblr, a different, less stressful blog. I tried a lot. And it didn’t work. Ideas just fall flat and die sometimes so I am taking my own advice and just doing what I want to do.

Where are you going?

I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to write a blog from start to end. I’m going to have a plan. I’m going to reevaluate myself and my life choices. I’m going to do something self-indulgent and something that I will be passionate about, even if I’m just a cliched and tropey mess. I don’t know what the blog will be or the format, or the style, or even the name. I don’t know anything right now.

I don’t even know if I’ll have an answer for that question anytime soon. I will, however, be on my artblog, drawing art and dumping it there every once in a while. I’ll still be drawing pokemon like a damn nerd and I will still love it. I will probably take all the art prompts I have stockpiled and go through them as I figure out what the fresh hell I am going to do.

I’ll still be on this primary blog while I work on my other things. All the memes will be posted on my artblog as I finish them. (Though I run mostly on a queue.)

How can we reach you?

Please for the love of god, follow me on Twitter. Interact with me on Twitter because 1v1 convos are not happening and that’s because I’m busy all the time with other things. Twitter is where you can see my hilariously awful jokes and updates that get pruned out so my art is the main attraction and I can still have my fun.

My discord is not open because it’s going to be the same deal. 1v1 convos are just not on my agenda unless you’re alright with me never speaking or just saying the same tired things all the time. (i’m tired/busy/sleepy/busy) Maybe someday I’ll be in a group discord where I can talk to a lot of lovely people at the same time. (I’m already mod in one, but it has been capped for now.)

Will you tell us what your new blog is when it’s made?

Maybe. I won’t try to use this blog to promote my new one because I feel that it is disingenuous to use this thing I didn’t finish to promote something I hopefully will. Pride? It’s more like guilt. I’d hate to be a disappointment again. I’d hate to disappoint you again.

What about this story?

I can give you the very short version of what I had originally intended for Kippy’s KipQuest under the cut if you want to know the story at the most surface level. There, you will see my incredible lack of planning. I will not elaborate much more than this in the interest of not writing a novel. I apologize that all the nuance is gone. Rip all the worldbuilding.

Just in case, you decide to not read under the cut (it’s all story stuff anyway) I wanted to say thank you for all the good times. I learned a lot about art, myself, and commitment. I asked a lot of questions to a lot of people and learned so much about others. It was fun while it lasted. This is not the last you will see of me. But this will likely be the last update post I make on this blog.

You know what they say, right? Better luck next time.

Kippy would have made their internal struggle known to their mother that they didn’t know whether to pick a boy name (Skipper after Amelia’s father) or a girl name (Pankaja which is a name related to soil though the language of origin escapes me). Kippy’s mother, Amelia, assured them that no matter what they ultimately decided, it was their choice to make and that she would be proud of her little kipper.

Kippy, who was born male, chose Pankaja as her official name but still likes Kippy as a nickname. She then takes on female pronouns and begins to make her way into the world at large. During this time, Jalon, a Honchkrow leader of the village Kippy lives in, has her put on a team prematurely because Jalon does not like that Baaba challenges his authority.

Baaba confronts the Grand Psion - a sort of gauge for an individual’s potential - and demands that he tell the truth about Kippy’s potential. The Grand Psion, who was most certainly lying about Kippy’s abilities at the request of Amelia, claims ignorance and Baaba doesn’t buy it, so he storms off with renewed vigor to get Kippy trained in the only way he knew how.

Amelia has the Grand Psion lie about Kippy’s potential because Kippy was born a Bad Egg because Amelia had a lot of trouble with having children. Amelia had a number of previous attempts with her mate, Armament - who was a Garchomp that died in the line of duty - but they all either miscarried or just did not hatch when they were supposed to. She begged the Grand Psion to lie about Kippy so Kippy wouldn’t get herself killed in a military life. Kippy never finds this out.

Kippy is paired with Pepin, a Buneary who failed to live up to his family’s astronomical expectations, and Pax, a Swablu who hates being a Priest and fulfilling the role of a “healer” despite having the ability to use Heal Pulse. The three of them are sent off on a mission that was not meant for them to complete, due to a mix up between assignments.

They end up delving into a cavern and finding evidence of humans existing as well as the Red and Blue Orbs and the Meteorite, which were placed in this deep cavern to keep Columbia, a radically violent and nihilistic Origin Jirachi, from continuing to hunt down and slaughter other Jirachi to gain their power.

Kippy releases Columbia, who very nearly kills the three of them on sight and disappears into the Realm of the Fairies, who have begun preparations to make an attempt at truce.

Bellatrix, who had saved Kippy and Arimus from the approaching Fairies in the beginning, ended up returning to face those approaching intruders head on with her partner, Ronnie. Ronnie is a Gardevoir who did not gain the Fairy typing when the original Blight swept the land. Nobody knows why this was, but that is the only reason she is accepted in the Valley of Darkness.

That Fairy party was a party sent by the highest order of fairy nobles to attempt a truce with the smaller neighboring land before a hopeful collaboration to unify with the Land of Dragons. The Prince of the Fairies was sent as a means of instilling an element of trust, but Bellatrix doesn’t believe that the instigators of this divisive conflict have any positive intentions in mind. She mega evolves, kills most of those present on both sides, and flees into the forest, where she succumbs to the dangerous power that mega evolution entails and falls into madness fueled only by fury and rage. Ronnie survives only because the Fairy Prince, Adelaide, stabilized her.

When Kippy and company return to the village, Jalon panics because he assumed they were going to do something simple, and instead came back with items that belong to the Land of Dragons. In order to maintain control of his people, he accuses Kippy and company of being insiders and mounts an attack using only his Murkrow flock. Pax’s trainer was an Eevee and she jumps in to protect her trainee, evolving into a Sylveon to have a better chance of fending Jalon’s lackeys off, though this solidifies the accusation that Kippy and co (and by extension, their families) are spies for the enemy.

Amelia immediately and instinctually uses her combined strength with Pax’s trainer, and Baaba, to give Kippy and co a chance to escape alive. It is never determined whether their families survived this attack because Kippy never ends up going back.

Baaba finds them in the hills outside of the village. Kippy is panicking, but Pax and Pepin are able to calm her down well enough for the four of them to figure out where they need to go. Baaba says that the Land of Dragons would be their best bet because he knows someone who has clout.

They are discovered by an adventuring party of Fairies, are captured, and taken back to the main hub where all the decisions are made. They are granted amnesty because the Fairies are attempting to make peace with the surrounding areas.

The Fairies are under the control of Xerneas, who is a fragmented and corrupted being that was created by The Bastard Palkia. Xerneas itself is an instinctual being, who has complete and total mind control over all Fairies on this world when it is awake. It only ever seeks to destroy anything that would oppose it, as well as anything that it deems a danger to it. Xerneas had been asleep for a while, but the damage already done had to be slowly undone, which proved to be almost impossible considering that the sight of a Fairy usually meant a fight was going to break out, so peace talks were rare and were hardly ever successful.

Kippy wants to help, naturally, but has no idea how to do so. She thinks that the Jirachi she released would be able to help, so she goes looking for it. Baaba stays close by for the longest time until he is attacked during another encounter with Columbia and is revealed to be a Zoroark. Kippy takes this rather well in the moment, but later confronts Baaba about it.

Baaba explains that pokemon in the area all live on a massive island created by the same Mewtwo who gave Bellatrix the ability to mega evolve. This area used to be a secluded safe haven in Kalos, so many pokemon who were harmed by experimentation make up the population, which is why there is a rather tumultuous civilization in the works. Columbia offers to spare this world if they can convince the slumbering native Jirachi to appear so Columbia can take it. It is assumed that Columbia’s attempts at seeking the native Jirachi failed, and he claimed that he was “helping” the mortals because he is a god.

Columbia is an elder god, but he is also a creation of The Bastard and is therefore, fundamentally broken on every single level of his existence. This doesn’t really matter, but Columbia spins it in a way to make himself look better, and to get Kippy and Baaba to call the native Jirachi. This works later on and that Jirachi is shredded and consumed by Columbia, who then departs to find more Jirachi to consume after flipping all his middle fingers up at the preps.

Baaba does not accept Columbia’s offer, but Kippy comes up with a plan to trick Columbia into a false sense of security. This plan fails miserably. Columbia kills the native Jirachi, and in retaliation for mortals even attempting to lie to him, wakes Xerneas up from its deep slumber. He naturally has a big villain speech explaining how Fairies are indeed evil by design because The Bastard doesn’t care about what it makes and leaves things to fester. Even humans have harnessed Fairy energy to create devastating weapons and this is no exception.

Xerneas arises and takes control of all the Fairies. At the same time, in human civilization, Magearna and the Ultimate Weapon designs are finished and deployed. The rise in harmful energy leads to a chain reaction where Xerneas’s instability directly contributes to the creation of a second, more unstable Yveltal constructed of corrupted energy.

Yveltal flees, spreading devastation and destruction everywhere. The world begins to end and there is a bright light in the sky.

Kippy and co try their best to help, but they are divided on what to do. Xerneas needs to be stopped, but there is chaos unfolding around them as they try to escape the Realm of Fairies and make their way to the Land of Dragons. Baaba has stayed with them, and no longer assumes the form of a Rattata. When they make it to the Land of Dragons, Baaba seeks out and finds the oldest dragon there, a Charizard named Basil.

Basil is upset at how these events have unfolded, but when the gods are involved, it never ends well. He promises that his attacks will be swift, but he is not optimistic. Kippy is worried, though by this time, she has evolved from a Mudkip/Gible into a Garchomp. There was a lot of tears shed and fear throughout this transitionary period, but she is determined.

Columbia has disappeared, but his presence alerted Marty, a Celebi who immediately arrives to survey the damage. It’s too much to bear. The end of the world is coming naturally, so he begins his job to tie up the loose ends and let the world collapse in itself. Despite Baaba begging that Marty not do this, Marty does not listen. Baaba lashes out because he wants Kippy to be okay. That’s his partner. His most trusted companion. And he is too smart to let her go so easily.

Marty explains that it’s better for all of existence if this world dies naturally instead of being ripped apart for no reason. Xerneas must be contained. Baaba asks Marty if Xerneas could be contained, would that allow the world to be left alone. Marty makes no promises, but does hint that their time would be extended, as everything dies eventually.

Baaba and Kippy convince Pepin and Pax to go back to the village to reiterate the information that they learned. They also convince Marty to go with them to confirm their story. Baaba and Kippy then go to Xerneas, who is deep within the forests, wandering and screaming.

Baaba has a special tool that he plans to use in order to get Xerneas under control. They fight, they win, Kippy mega evolves, and Baaba uses a Master Ball to seal Xerneas away.

It, at one point, would have been made known that Baaba is from human settlements in Kalos, where he was born before his mother made a deal with Mewtwo to create this supposed sanctuary. Humans had done a lot of fucked up shit prior to this and his mother was the result of experiments in testing pokemon’s potential. He carried with him a couple of tools from the human settlements because he inherited that human level of intelligence and planning.

Once Xerneas is sealed away in the Master Ball, Baaba explains to Kippy that there is a whole other world out there to explore and he remembers fondly traveling through Kalos a little bit before his mother whisked him away from humans as a whole. He says he wants Kippy to see the world for what it is, a wonderful place, but humans are also not to be messed with. Baaba explains that humans treat pokemon differently and sometimes badly and he wants to change that, but the only way he knows how is to show them. He offers Kippy the opportunity to go with him to Kalos. Kippy accepts.

Baaba also offer this opportunity to Pepin and Pax, both of whom have evolved fully. Pepin accepts. Pax does not.

It ends with Kippy and Pepin willingly being put into customized pokeballs and Baaba assuming the form of a human before it’s assumed that they go to Kalos and change the human world as well.

That’s all ey wrote. Hopefully the next time I do this, I do a better job.

[imjustthemechanic]

Natalie Jones and the Golden Ship

Part 1/? - A Meeting at the Palace Part 2/? - Curry Talk Part 3/? - Princess Sitamun Part 4/? - Not At Rest Part 5/? - Dead Men Tell no Tales Part 6/? - Sitamun Rises Again Part 7/? - The Curse of Madame Desrosiers Part 8/? - Sabotage at Guedelon Part 9/? - A Miracle Part 10/? - Desrosiers’ Elixir Part 11/? - Athens in October Part 12/? - The Man in Black Part 13/? - Mr. Neustadt Part 14/? - The Other Side of the Story Part 15/? - A Favour Part 16/? - A Knock on the Window Part 17/? - Sir Stephen and Buckeye Part 18/? - Books of Alchemy Part 19/? - The Answers Part 20/? - A Gift Left Behind Part 21/? - Santorini Part 22/? - What the Doves Found Part 23/? - A Thief in the Night Part 24/? - Healing Part 25/? - Newton’s Code Part 26/? - Montenegro Part 27/? - The Lost Relic Part 28/? - The Homunculinus Part 29/? - The End is Near Part 30/? - The Face of Evil Part 31/? - The Morning After Part 32/? - Next Stop Part 33/? - A Sighting in Messina Part 34/? - Taormina Part 35/? - Burning Part 36/? - Recovery Part 37/? - Pilgrimage to Vesuvius Part 38/? - The Scent of Hell Part 39/? - She’ll be Coming Down the Mountain Part 40/? - Stowaways Part 41/? - Bon Voyage Part 42/? - Turnabout

Newton is on board!  Now what?

Desrosiers’ worry didn’t do anything for Natasha’s nerves.  Nat suspected it hadn’t been anything so simple as an apology and an explanation – Newton must have sworn up and down and given her all kinds of details in order to convince her, and after all that, it had still been a lie.

“I’ll show you,” Desrosiers said.  “This way.”

She went back down the steps to the Diamond Deck, and headed for the back of the ship, where the rooms with the best views were.  A sign by the door indicated that the Sirius Suite was occupied by Mrs. H. Desrosiers of Paris.  Next to it, another announced that the neighbouring Betelgeuse suite belonged to Mr. I. Neustadt of Munich.

Natasha knocked on the door.  “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,” she murmured, half-hoping it might summon an alchemist as easily as a ghost.

There was no answer. Natasha knocked again, harder. “Herr Neustadt!” she shouted. “It’s Dr. Jones!  We need to talk to you!”  If he didn’t answer this time, she would knock down the door to get in. If there were nobody there… she began going over what she knew of cruise ships, trying to make a plan for stealing a lifeboat and heading back to Naples.

“Isaac!” Desrosiers joined in.  “Please! Can we assure them you’re not about to do something mad?”

The door opened, and there was Newton.  He was still wearing that battered green hat, and the face below it was disappointed, but not exactly surprised.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s you again.”        

Part of Natasha was intensely relieved.  Newton’s plan to bring about the end of the world seemed to hinge on having a volcano to work with.  There was no volcano in Barcelona, and Desrosiers had said she wouldn’t let anything blow up by accident.  Maybe it really was okay.  Maybe they’d been panicking over nothing.

At the same time… it had all seemed to make so much sense. Admittedly, the standards of ‘making sense’ for alchemy were pretty low, but still…

“Isaac,” said Desrosiers. “Please tell them you’re not going to destroy the world.”

“Of course I’m not going to destroy the world,” said Newton, rolling his eyes.  “If I did that, I’d be destroying myself, too.  Don’t be silly.  How the hell did you get on board this ship?”

“We climbed,” said Natasha.  “Why are you going to Barcelona?”

“Because I like Barcelona,” said Newton.  “Even alchemists occasionally do something just because we want to, you know.  We’re still human beings.”

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.  Natasha was sure this man was lying, and yet he didn’t show any of the normal signs of it.  “But Naples,” she said.  “Neustadt. Newton.”

“I did once think that was very clever,” he said with a nod, “but I later thought better of it. Sometimes being too clever makes you too easy to solve, so I thought, let my enemies look for me in Naples, while I’m six hundred miles away. How did you find me?” he repeated.

“Excuse me, please, ladies and gentlemen,” said a voice.  A maid was coming by with a cleaning cart.  The ground spread out and pressed themselves to the walls so she could pass.

Newton sighed.  “Since you’re here, come into my cabin.  We can talk there.”

They filed inside. The Betelgeuse Suite was multiple rooms, beautifully furnished and with a bit more actual personality to the décor than the beige hotel rooms they’d seen so far on this trip.  There was original art on the walls, and the bed was almost entirely covered in far more pillows than one person could possibly need. The doors were open to the balcony, and fresh air was blowing in.  A steward was pouring tea, and there was a tray of sandwiches and pastries waiting on a glass-topped dining table.

The steward was another homunculus, in uniform.

“Sit down, sit down,” said Newton.

Desrosiers sat down first, placing her purse in her lap and crossing her legs.  She was trying very hard to look at ease, and Nat could see that the truth was she was trembling with relief.  The reappearance of the CAAP with their conspiracy theory must have terrified her, and now she could not possibly be happier to know they were wrong.

The others pulled up chairs and seated themselves around the dining table.  It made for a very crowded space, even in the big stateroom, and Nat noted that future missions might be less cumbersome with just two or three people… but how would they know ahead of time whose skills they needed? The steward homunculus poured tea.

“Cream and sugar?” he asked Jim.  If the homunculus had noticed that the two of them had the same face, he didn’t show it.

“I take it black,” Jim replied.

“You,” Newton pointed at him.  “I have something for you.”

“Yeah?” Jim asked cautiously.  The steward daintily set a teacup in front of him.

“‘Nelle has given me to understand that you have developed a measure of, shall we say, self-awareness that I wouldn’t have credited you with,” Newton said.  “You want to become human.”

“Uh… I sort of think I already am human,” Jim said.  “I’d like to stay that way.”

Newton nodded thoughtfully.  “I’ve been giving it some thought since we parted at the museum,” he said.  “You’ve made it this far… if I have some time to work on it, I may be able to stabilize your body.  You must understand, though, that I cannot give you a soul.”

“What do you mean?” asked Jim.

“Exactly what I said,” Newton replied.  “Science can create a body that will live a lifetime and then die – but a soul that will live forever, only God can make.  Whatever you do during your life, you will be neither saved nor damned. When you die, and you must because we all do, even those of us who fancy ourselves immortals, you will simply cease.  Do you understand?”

He talked as if this were some great and terrible choice to be made.  That was the thinking of a religious man, Natasha observed.  She was not religious.  She didn’t believe in immortal souls, and so to her the choice seemed clear.  What did Jim believe, though?  Did he even know?

“Then I guess it’s that much more important for me to live while I can,” Jim said.

“As long as we understand one another.”  Newton nodded.

“There are stories which speak of ways soul-less beings might obtain one,” said Sir Stephen.

“That’s true,” said Desrosiers cautiously.  “Paracelsus wrote about them, but I don’t know how seriously we can take those.”

Of the group, Sam seemed to be the most familiar with fairy tales.  “Is this like the thing where the mermaid or the dryad gains a soul by marrying a human?” he asked.

“Yes, exactly,” said Desrosiers.

Natasha knew that when she looked at Jim, he would be looking at her. She looked at him anyway, caught his eye, and laughed.  He laughed too, nervously.

“Well, it seems there may be nothing to worry about so far as souls are concerned,” Newton observed with a smile.

“Do I still have a soul to give him if I don’t believe in them?” Nat asked, only half-joking.

“You have a soul, Dr. Jones.  The only thing you choose is whether it is saved or not,” Newton told her sincerely.

“Right, whatever,” said Nat.  She waved her hand a bit in a gesture of dismissal – her right hand.  Had Newton noticed it was healed?  If so, he didn’t seem particularly interested in the fact.  Maybe he’d taken it for granted that the group knew some alchemy of their own.

“Was it you and one of your homunculi we saw on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius?” asked Sir Stephen.

“No, no,” said Newton. “‘Nelle and I were already boarding the ship then – we started as soon as they finished offloading the previous passengers.”

That did make sense. What was wrong?  Was Natasha just being jumpy and paranoid?  Newton seemed relaxed and cheerful, happy to explain and help, but that was how he’d come across at the restaurant in Athens, too.  “Why have you been so secretive and pushy?” she asked, “if you never wanted anything but to make unlimited gold?”

Newton frowned.  “Do you realize what a question that is?” he asked.

That was a fair point. Unlimited gold was something human beings could kill for – and regularly had.  The Spaniards had all but wiped out the peoples of Central and South America in their quest for gold.  Europeans had raided the tombs of Egypt for it, dispersing treasures like the sarcophagus of Princess Sitamun all over the world, far from their original owners. Every culture that had known about gold had valued it.  Newton had come to the entirely reasonable conclusion that the CAAP was out to steal the philosopher’s stone, either for themselves or perhaps for the British crown. Desrosiers had probably thought the same, and had worried that they were going to blow something up, as the people of Santorini had done with their island and Rasputin had done with Siberia.

“We alchemists are secretive creatures by nature,” Desrosiers added.  “We don’t like to share with outsiders.  None of you are initiates, and so it goes against everything our own masters taught us to tell you anything at all.”

It all made sense, Natasha thought.  It made too much sense.  The idea of Newton destroying the world through Mount Vesuvius had made sense in an alchemy kind of way.  This all made logical sense and that was the wrong kind of sense.  In chasing the Red Death across the British Isles they’d had to get in touch with the kind of sense his sorcery and his quest made.  In wandering around the Mediterranean they’d had to do the same for these alchemists, and this was just the wrong conclusion.

Or was it? Desrosiers had told them that alchemy was science, not magic.  Maybe Nat was confusing it with sorcery and expecting the wrong things of it.  She wanted to tear her hair out.  She knew she should be reassured right now and yet she couldn’t be.  What had she missed?

“May we follow you to Barcelona?” asked Sharon.  “We’re supposed to do some kind of report on the fate of the mummy for the Queen, and we really need to see this through to the end.  And, if possible, get the book from the mummy case back.  If that’s the only thing we can salvage, then so be it.

“The British government has even less claim on the key than they do on the mummy,” said Desrosiers, pursing her lips.  “It’s not a book in any event, it’s a clockwork code-breaking machine.  It was given to Nicolas by his master, and he shared it with me.  You cannot have it.”

“What about the notebooks?” asked Nat, just to see how far she could push.

Newton stiffened.  “The notebooks are mine.  I may be officially dead but I am actually still alive, and I want to keep them.”  Then, however, he relaxed a little.  “But you can come to Barcelona and see the Philosopher’s Stone in action if you like, as long as you agree to keep the secret of it.  We are on this beautiful ship – I will get you rooms and cards so you can enjoy its comforts.  Tomorrow we’ll be at sea all day.  We get to pass between Sardinia and Corsica, where the coastline is absolutely lovely, and we can all relax and prepare before the real work begins.”

He was trying to put them at ease.  He was trying too hard.  What was he really up to?  It was driving Natasha mad.

“Do we have an agreement?” Newton asked.

[longsightmyth]

Chapter-by-chapter, The Naming, Chapter 12

PELLINOR

My love for the innkeeping couple continues.

“She’s a quiet one, your wife, eh?” said Halifax, shrugging his shoulder in Maerad’s direction.

“She don’t like strangers that well,” said Cadvan. “She’s sociable enough on her own.”

“Well, there’s some as never shut up, so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.” Halifax rolled his eyes comically, and Marta [his wife] kicked him under the table.

“I know who doesn’t shut up around here,” she said comfortably.

I appreciate that Halifax is clearly joking and that Marta is clearly unfazed and willing to point out to strangers that she knows who’s the real chatterbox around here, and both are presented as having a longstanding cheery argument.

All of this is about to change though, because Maerad and Cadvan are nearing the boundaries of Innail Fesse. They bid farewell to the innkeeping couple (Marta packs them lunch) and start riding. After a while a raven comes down to join them carrying a message from Silvia. In these books, ravens are some of the few animals that can make themselves understood without the Speech, so Maerad can understand Lord Kargan when he tells them that Silvia wanted them to know that two hulls entered Innail and Dernhil is dead. Cadvan asks if Silvia is sure they were hulls, and Kargan says definitely.

“Lord Kargan,” [Cadvan] said. “You have already done much, but I seek your help still. We need to pass through Innail Let, and I know not if the Dark has gathered its spies there. It may be that it is yet unwatched, because they think we are still at Innail. I would be grateful if you could fly there and tell me what you see.”

Kargan agrees. After he flies off, Maerad starts to freak out because Dernhil is dead and because people are now actively chasing her. She doesn’t say anything for a bit though as they ride, and it’s Cadvan who finally says, “Alas, he was my friend, and I loved him, and this is a grievous loss.”

Maerad agrees, and says that she didn’t know Dernhil long but he was her friend too, and remembers her dream. She tells Cadvan about it, and how she didn’t know for sure it was Dernhil that she heard but it seems pretty clear now.

“I spoke of you with Dernhil, Maerad,” [Cadvan] said. “I know he loved you. He was one of those who can see clearly into another’s soul, and his feelings were true. Such things have little to do with brevity of meeting. And in that lies our hope: for the Dark understands nothing of love. And if, as it seems almost certain, the hulls sought news of you, maybe his love protected you as nothing else could.”

The soul in question was sixteen, but I approve of the sentiment. As a bonus, we know where I was at least encouraged in my love of commas (Throne of Glass could take some pointers from Pellinor for the elevated language schtick).

Maerad is sad some more, and so is Cadvan. He talks about Bards being able to kill themselves without weapons if necessary.

“It is unutterably terrible,” said Cadvan at last, “to hope that Dernhil killed himself rather than be murdered by those evil beings; yet that is what I hope.”

Yikes.

Kargan returns and reports that the way is clear for now. Cadvan thanks him, and Kargan leaves to report to Silvia that Maerad and Cadvan are alive and kicking. They continue to ride until they eventually find a Bardhome. They take care of their horses, and Maerad complains of stiffness and soreness from riding all day every day. Cadvan tells her she’ll get used to it soon but has her stand in front of him and “passed his hands around her body without touching her.” Maerad feels better, if still slightly sore and tired.

They set up camp and eat dinner, and Cadvan tells Maerad more about the Speech at her prompting, specifically how you never know when you come into it and Maerad isn’t weird for not being able to understand it yet. We get a cute little anecdote about when Cadvan started to understand the Speech (he was about five years old) and a fish spoke to him. We also learn that neither of Cadvan’s parents were Bards. He talks about the different divisions of Barding (there are three broad categories), which are called The Arts: the Reading, the Making, and the Tending. Reading is what most people think of as magic, though it does include actual reading. Making is exactly what it sounds like plus playing music and dancing and writing and stuff. Tending is “knowledge of growing, husbandry, forestry, childcraft, wilding, herbs, healing, bird lore” etc. There are debates about where particular acts sometimes fall on the scale, but Cadvan gives no fucks about that sort of thing. Cadvan and Dernhil practice Reading the most, and Malgorn and Silvia Tending. “…a Bard who counts power and learning as the highest skill, refusing to understand how all of the Arts inform and nourish each other, is a poor Bard.”

Cadvan makes a lament for Dernhil.

“Sweet fall the rains on the mountains of Innail

Leaping like children down through the pinewoods

With voices of ice like melodious laughter

Seeking the harping of Dernhil of Gent.

But he cannot hear them, his music is ended.

Where has he gone? His chamber is empty

And bright are the tears in the high halls of Oron

Where once he stepped lightly, singing deep secrets

Out of the heart-vault and into the open.

Dark are the Gates that opened and beckoned

And closed on his steps, in the gray twilight fading,

Folding in silence the weft of his barding.

No more will he sing in the glory of autumn

Gilding the birches of lowen and Braneua:

The groves of Ileadh will wait him in vain.

He enters the meadows of music no longer

To gather us with mirth-sheaves and harvests of pleasure.

His harp is unstrung, his sweet voice is silenced:

Sad now are the streams in the Valley of Innail.”

He fell silent, and then he covered his face with his hands and wept.

Maerad cries too, and they grieve quietly for a while.

Then they have a discussion involving fault: earlier Maerad said it was her fault because Dernhil was teaching her, and Cadvan told her obviously not. Now Cadvan feels guilty for asking Dernhil to teach Maerad. Maerad says that that’s stupid, because Dernhil did know, and also that, as Cadvan told her earlier, it isn’t either of their faults that there is evil in the world. Cadvan says that all Dernhil knew about her was that she was Cadvan’s pupil, and Maerad remembers that she hasn’t shown Cadvan the bit of prophecy Dernhil found for her. Cadvan says to hide it: “I am not certain that we shouldn’t burn it, but I wish Nelac to see it.”

Cadvan is basically like ‘welp this proves it, you’re the foretold” and Maerad sort of scrambles around trying to justify why she’s not, including her name not being Elednor (the truename of the foretold, which means fire lily). Cadvan points out that she won’t know her truename until after she’s instated as a full Bard, argument invalid.

“What if I’m not? What if you’ve got it all wrong? What then?”

Cadvan shrugged. “As I said before, then I am simply wrong.”

He muses that the Dark might now know for sure, and that that makes this whole thing even more dangerous, but he wonders if they knew before or after trying to break into Dernhil’s mind.

“Dernhil would not have betrayed us,” said Maerad uncertainly.

…”it is not a question of betrayal,” said Cadvan. “You don’t know…” A spasm of pain passed over his face, and for a while he was silent.

More Mysterious Past hints. Come on Cadvan, fess up! He continues that the hulls would have wanted to use Dernhil as a spy if they could get into his mind, not kill him, and a murder in the school has brought so much attention that the hulls probably can’t stay, since even hulls would have trouble with Bards like Malgorn or Oron actively hunting them. I personally would rather face Oron or Malgorn than Silvia if she thinks somebody is trying to hurt Maerad, but sure, book.

“I think it is likely,” said Cadvan at last, “that Dernhil killed himself so they could not enter his mind, and I think it is not only my hope speaking.” he shuddered. “Believe me, Maerad, there are many worse things than death.”

We learn more about hulls when Maerad asks. They were Bards, but turned to the Dark to try to live forever and/or get more power. They can be killed, but they don’t die of old age. They can pass as mortals if they work at it because they still have Bardic gifts.

[Cadvan] fell silent, looking into his own memories, and then spoke with a vehement anger that took Maerad aback. “I hate them. They betray everything that makes us what we are, and destroy everything that is worthy of love. I hate them more than the Nameless One himself.”

Note to self: Cadvan’s backstory likely involves hull trauma.

Maerad starts thinking about all the Bards she’s never known and whether or not they might be hulls, and starts to worry that nobody can be trusted, “but she remembered Silvia and Dernhil and Malgorn, and Cadvan himself, and quietened her fears.”

You’re missing Saliman, Maerad. He seems like a key component given future events. Just saying.

She falls asleep afraid anyway.

THRONE OF GLASS

Chapter 24 so I didn’t land three pages into the next chapter. Celaena can’t sleep and talks about the moonlight and how night doesn’t mean anything to her, and then goes on about how “it was just the time when she slept, the time when she stalked and killed, the time when the stars emerged with glittering beauty and made her feel wonderfully small and insignificant.”

That seems pretty meaningful to me but I am but a simple fanfic writer, untutored in the ways of high fantasy or YA lit.

That was sarcasm, for those unsure.

Celaena was too lazy to change out of her old fashioned dress (actual words from the text, not me being judgy for once, and also I am hardly the one to judge based on clothing changing). She looks up to see a tapestry blowing and after a moment of investigation realizes it’s because there is a secret door behind it.

Y’all, they put an assassin in a room with secret passages that are found after like three minutes of investigation. Either somebody in charge of room assignments wants people dead, or everyone here is incompetent.

I genuinely wish we had murderous steward on our hands.

Celaena exercises some caution when going exploring, which on the one hand I applaud - nobody wants to get lost in the deep dark of an ancient castle - but on the other hand, didn’t she know exactly where she was going from counting steps and noticing corridors in the first chapter when she had never been in the building before while blindfolded? Why doesn’t she utilize that ability now? Also she has a prince and a captain of the guard popping in and out of her room like there’s a revolving door with an ‘Open - free cookies’ sign on it, so shouldn’t she be worried about discovery?

Celaena held the candle aloft, her cape trailing behind her, leaving a clean wake on the dust-covered stairs.

Y’all. This behavior is excusable in an inexperienced sneaker, but in someone who is supposedly the best assassin in the land this is just sad.

She reaches the end of one passage and realizes it’s probably an escape route for the king and leads to a waterway with a rusted iron gate and rotting boats, which begs so many questions I don’t know where to start. She can see trees and stuff outside and considers escaping through the gate, but she slips while climbing around and freaks out. She goes back and takes a different turn, whose passage she follows to spy holes overlooking the great hall and the Samhuinn feast. Celaena is indignant that the other champions are allowed to attend and she isn’t, and honestly so am I. If they’re worried about Celaena the Braggy Assassin in company, they should be doubly worried about the people who have actually murdered people. They do appear to have left Cain in his room, though.

She spots Dorian and decides she’s just happy to see his “unusual grace, and the kindness in his eyes”.

Stop trying to make me like Dorian, book, I am never going to like Dorian. You can tell me about the kindness in his eyes all you want but until I see that shit backed up with action and him considering women aside from our protagonist to be human beings it ain’t gonna fly.

EXHIBIT NUMBER UNCOUNTED: he enters Celaena’s room without permission to watch her sleep after she’s returned and gone to sleep. I thought we all agreed this was bullshit after Twilight, y’all, why is it still showing up? Why are we still considering Dorian a good guy when he routinely uses the literal power of life and death he has over this woman to show up in her private space without permission and watch her sleep? Y’all. Come on.

Chaol kicks him out, which would get him points except he then chills in Celaena’s room considering whether or not she’s a virgin and watches her sleep for a minute. At least he wakes her up when he approaches the bed? But it’s not on purpose? Y’all, he came by to drop off a ring from the party favors for her, he couldn’t have just waited until morning when he could fucking knock? I hate everyone. Chaol throws another blanket over her and leaves.

COMPARISON

Well Cadvan was basically tailor-made for us, wasn’t he? Mysterious Past, hot, respectful, badass, in touch with his emotions… too bad he’s in his seventies. ANYWAY. I appreciate that Pellinor has people in touch with their emotions being a good thing, and I appreciate that affection and cordial teasing are shown to be hallmarks of a good relationship, thank you innkeeping couple. Other things I appreciate about Pellinor: we’re actually sad about Dernhil. He had an effect on the narrative and an effect on our characters, and he’s on the Ride or Die squad with Silvia, only thankfully Silvia is still in the riding part of it.

In Pellinor this was a lot of exposition relayed in dialogue, but it was interwoven with a discussion of Dernhil and gives us more hits of Cadvan’s Mysterious Past, which obviously involves hulls. Cadvan really doesn’t like them, y’all. Also I appreciated that it was a Tending Bard that was mentioned as being too much for hulls to handle, while a Reading Bard was not. It helpfully underlines the fact that the Arts are in fact equal even if Cadvan is a Reading Bard and we have no idea wtf Maerad is. I’m guessing Indik is a Making Bard (because I don’t actually remember if that’s ever explicitly stated) and he is also later proven to be hardcore. So many books and/or movies pay lip service to everything being equally important while only showing one school/art to be actually effective, and Pellinor actually shows that it’s true even in small ways. I like that. (I also like that later Silvia is acknowledged as Super Hard Core, but I think we have to wait until The Singing to see exactly how hard core our ride or die team mom is. Bad with a sword or a spell she is not.)

I appreciate nothing about Throne of Glass this chapter, not even a single solitary second. There are six purple tabs marking general displays of incompetence in this chapter and a short pondering of virginity that made me angry. Fuck off, Chaol. Dorian can fuck off even harder, jesus christ on a pogo stick.

STATS

Throne of Glass:

Pages: 11

Fragments: 16

Em-Dashes: 32

Ellipses: 10

Pellinor:

Pages: 18

Fragments: 3

Em-Dashes: 3

Ellipses: 15

[bowandarrowgirl]

You’re Not As Lonely As You Think You Are (I’m Trying to Tell You) - Chapter 8: Golden Girl (I’ll Keep You Forever)

Read on AO3 

A/N: Sooooooooo, I thought about if they were all teenagers in real life, which actors would portray them. To be honest, I couldn't really come up with any for Drax, Rocket and Groot are both CGI anyways so they're good, Shuri and Little Peter are already considered 'teens'. So I came up with Megan Nicole as Gamora (yes, I know she has kind of a higher-pitched voice than Zoe does, but I still think she'd make a really cute Gamora), Madilyn Bailey as Nat, and imagine Nat Wolff WITH STRAWBERRY BLONDE HAIR, as Peter?! Idk, it was just an idea! XDD Anyways, enjoy! <3

They run. They leave Homecoming and run. They had managed to wake Drax from his unconscious state, but Gamora was still in a state of shock before they left, causing Peter to pull her to her feet and hold her upright as they ran.

Peter digs around in the pocket of his pants for the keys to the performing arts building. Once he finds them, he unlocks the front door, immediately guiding the group to the choir room.

After everyone is safely inside, Peter locks the doors and turns on the lights. Luckily, the only windows in the room are attached to the doors.

Nat and Shuri guide Gamora to one of the chairs, Peter's maroon, leather jacket loosely covering her bare shoulders. Her arms are still wrapped around her abdomen, trembling slightly.

"Gamora, what is going on?" Nat asks in a tone in what seems like she had asked for the hundredth time.

"It's my sister-she's insane." Instead of looking at the girl in crouched in front of her, her gaze is towards the dirty floor.

"Gamora, you told me Thanos-"

"She's adopted." She snaps, immediately regretting it and finally giving Nat an apologetic look. Her eyes rip away from Nat's and shift back to the floor. "I'm not the only one Thanos took from their homeworld."

Shuri crouches down besides Nat, resting an assuring hand on Gamora's bare knee. "Your sister-what does she plan to do?"

"I don't know exactly what she's up to, but I know she's after this orb. I was on a mission to find it before I crashed here. She thought I had it-" Gamora takes a deep breath before standing up and walking towards the piano. "If it's anything like I think it is, we might be in trouble."

"Then, we need to stop her." Peter chimes in, slowly approaching her.

"It's not just her we need to stop-she joined Ronan."

"Wait, who's Ronan?" Peter asks with a raised brow, the rest of the group watching their conversation intently.

"A Kree fanatic who works for Thanos."

The mention of the name sends chills down Peter's spine. Gamora has told him of the pain Thanos inflicted, not only on her, but millions of innocent people around the universe. She has told him what he's capable of and his one and only goal: to eradicate half the universe.

"Ronan may have killed my lover, Hovat, and my younger sister, Kamaria, but Thanos is by far the strongest being in the universe. I will accompany you on your quest to find this orb. Then, I will kill Ronan and avenge my family's deaths." Drax was very silent until that moment. He crosses the room to join Peter and Gamora near the piano.

"What exactly is this orb?" Peter asks, completely brushing off Drax's entire speech. "From what it sounds, it seems like some kind of weapon."

"I don't know what it is."

"If it's a weapon, we should use it against Ronan."

Gamora's head whips around to Drax. "You fool! You'll destroy us all!" Maybe snapping from a comment as small as that wasn't her best move, but it was too late.

"Or just you, MURDERESS!" Drax steps closer, pissing Gamora off even more so.

"I LET YOU LIVE ONCE, PRINCESS!" Gamora finds herself looking straight up at him, baring her teeth.

"I AM NOT A PRINCESS!" The tattooed boy stands up straighter, glaring at the smaller girl in front of him.

"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! Nobody is killing ANYBODY in my CHOIR ROOM!" Peter puts himself between them as they continue to glare at one another.

"It ain't your choir room, dumbass." It's that stupid raccoon and giving tree whom always manages to find themselves in the same room as him.

Peter rolls his eyes and turns his head to said duo. "Can we help you? What are you even doing here?" The raccoon doesn't reply, giving Peter a vexing smirk instead. "Let me guess? Profit?"

"Oh, hell yeah!" Rocket crawls off Groot's shoulder and scales up the piano to gain the attention of the others. "I know someone who's very trustworthy and is willing to pay a whole lotta units for that orb."

"How much?" Peter asks in curiosity, oblivious to Gamora's annoyed eye roll.

"Four. Billion. Units." The emphasis on the three words captures Peter's attention as his eyes widen.

"Holy shit!"

"Yup! About a hundred thousand times the amount of Yondu's bounty on you. Groot and I were gonna go after it, but when we heard Greenie over here mumbling somethin' about the orb, we thought we could use a few extra humies."

"And what makes you think we'll help you?" It's the first time Gamora speaks up since Rocket started talking.

"Cause', I have a big gun that could disable your mods and kill you in an instant."

"I am Groot."

"Shut up, Groot."

"I. Am. Groot." The tree says with more force.

After a few moments, Rocket crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Fine. Groot says we'll split the profit between everyone who gives us a hand."

"If I gave you my hand, it would require me to sever it off, disabling the ability to be helpful with it still attached." Everyone's jaws drop at the amount of stupidity they had just heard.

"It's an expression, dipshit." Rocket explains with another eye roll.

"I will never understand Terran sayings."

"It's not exclusively from Terra. People say it all the time."

"We're getting off track!" Gamora interrupts, watching as Drax and Rocket exchange a look and shrug their shoulders in unison.

"Are you in or not?"

Gamora's brown eyes find Peter's. He looks at her with the same grave expression, subtly nodding at her. There's that look in his eyes. The same look he had when she came out of the dressing room at Forever 21 in the outfit he picked out for her. The same look he had when he noticed she was finally able to start reading paragraphs on her own. The same look he had when she finally joined in on the choir ritual. The same look he had when he finally had the guts to ask her to homecoming. The same damn look he had when he kissed her. That genuine, caring look in his hazel eyes that she trusts more than anything in the universe. There's nothing selfish in them either, meaning he has a ethical reason behind agreeing, and he would explain later. She knows him and she trusts him.

With that, she turns to Rocket and sighs. "Yes, but if you do not undertake your part, I will be sure to skin you alive, Rodent. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Greenie, I do."

"If you guys are really considering this, you better make sure this buyer is trustworthy. If something happens that this 'orb' is a weapon and it's in the wrong hands, who knows what could go wrong." Nat states, putting a hand on Gamora's shoulder. The green girl nods in unison with Peter.

"How do we get off this dumb planet without confronting the director?"

"Well, Big Guy! I have a plan-"

Although Nat is training to be a spy for S.H.I.E.L.D., she has very awful plans, which is why Gamora, Drax, Peter, Rocket, and Groot are fully equipped to leave Earth and are on their way to headquarters. The entire building is built underground as a bunker at the edge of the city. The only section visible is a small dome-shaped structure made entirely of one-way glass, and the secret hangar roof behind it. Two men in S.H.I.E.L.D uniforms, guard the steel double doors to the structure.

It was a long drive from their dorms to headquarters-approximately four hours to be exact. So, yeah. It was a long drive. Not to mention being in a small Volkswagen van with seven people, three of which were not as friendly as the others (well, the tree's okay). It's a miracle to get out when they arrive.

Nat's plan was simple: she and Gamora will gang up on the guards and knock them unconscious. Then, they would all sneak into the docking bay and board Peter's ship.

Therefore, they put the plan into effect. Within seconds upon reaching the small structure, Gamora and Nat sneak up behind the guards and kick them square in the back of their heads, watching as their bodies fall limp to the ground.

Peter flinches a little as their bodies hit the pavement. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt." He whispers as Nat grabs a key card from one of the guard's pockets and unlocks the door, following the group inside.

They all scuttle into a confined elevator, uncomfortably close to one another as they ride down to the docking bay. As they exit, they are spotted by two more S.H.I.E.L.D agents, who immediately get swept off their feet, due to Gamora's quick reflexes.

"What does your ship look like?" Shuri asks as they spread out, scanning each of the unique aircraft.

"It's the Milano-the blue and orange M-ship."

"The Milano?" Nat asks with a raised eyebrow. "Like the cookies?"

"No, Alyssa Milano, duh!" Nat pinches the bridge of her nose.

Gamora crosses her arms and glares at Peter. "So, who's this 'Marissa Milano'?" She asks skeptically. Of course, it wasn't out of jealousy. Gamora wasn't the type to be 'jealous'.

The boy gives her a small smirk, notching the hint of jealousy in her brown eyes. "Alyssa Milano." He corrects.

"Whatever."

"She's an actress. I had a huge crush on her when I was a kid."

"You're still a kid." She points out, glaring at him more intensely.

"No reason to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Okay."

"Can you makeout later, Lovebirds? We found your ship." Rocket announces, rolling his eyes.

"This is your ship?" Peter nods his head proudly. "No offense, but it looks like a piece of shit."

"Wow. Thanks Nat." Just then the alarms start blaring, meaning that somebody spotted them. "Hurry! Get on the ship!" Peter yells over the alarms as he lowers the ramp. Groot, Rocket, and Drax quickly obey, the original four staying behind for a moment longer.

"Go." Shuri says, gesturing to the ship with her head. "We will stay behind and cover you."

"Thank you." Gamora wraps her arms around their necks as Peter makes his way up the ramp, not completely entering the ship until Gamora follows him. The ramp closes behind them as Nat and Shuri start running for the exit.

They arrive at the temple on Morag, only to find out that Ronan's right hand beats them there. Luckily, it seems as if they haven't exited their ship yet.

Gamora whips her head around to the group. "Korath is here."

"Lemme guess? Ronan's henchman?" Rocket asks, crossing his arms.

"You could say that."

Peter eyes Gamora again as if they read each other's minds. "Okay." He says, staring her in the eyes a moment longer before focusing on the rest of the group. "Here's the plan: Gamora and I will break into the temple and steal the orb. Drax, you'll follow and cover us. Rocket. Groot. You two will stay here, protect the ship, and get ready to take off as soon as we get back. Got it?" Everyone nods. "Good. Let's go!"

It's eerily easy to obtain it, only requiring the use of a gravity mine. However, there's never any sign of Korath or his Sakaaran soldiers. That's what puts Gamora on edge. "Peter, something isn't right." She states, reaching for her Godslayer.

"Okay, well, let's go!" He begins to walk out of the temple bumping into a Sakaaran soldier. "Oh, shit."

"Drop it!" A deep voice booms as a man, who looks partially like an android, enters.

"He will do no such thing, Korath!" Gamora spits through her teeth, extracting her sword and charging towards the man with a loud war cry. Drax follows suit with his daggers. "DRAX! PETER! GET TO THE SHIP!" Drax jabs one of his daggers into one last soldier and obeys almost immediately. "PETER!"

"NO! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!" Peter shoots another Sakaaran that had entered the temple.

"GO, PETER!"

Peter hesitates. "Shit." He mutters under his breath, shooting one last soldier before bolting to the ship. With one last cry, Gamora drives her sword into Korath's abdomen, immediately following Peter. The boy pulls out another gravity mine, throwing it at the Sakaaran soldiers running after them. Gamora ducks and rolls her eyes as Peter yells back an apology. As soon as they have boarded the ship, Rocket turns on the thrusters and flies them to safety.

After the coast is clear, Peter meets Gamora on the lower deck. She watches as he places a small box into a weird contraption built into the Milano.

"What is that?" Gamora asks in curiosity with pursed lips.

"It's called a cassette. It plays music, see?" Peter presses a button and turns a dial as music begins to fill the ship. A huge grin creeps onto his face once he notices the corners of the green girl's lips twitching up. It only grows when she begins to subconsciously bob her head to the beat.

"What?"

It doesn't take long before Peter realizes he's staring. "Nothing." He scratches the back of his neck. "Um...just-do you trust them?"

"The only one I trust in this ship, is you."

Peter glances up at the stairs leading to the cockpit before focusing back on Gamora. "How much you wanna bet they'll ditch us after we receive the payment?" He asks almost inaudibly.

"As long as they don't give us a reason to be suspicious, we shouldn't worry too much about it."

"So, we're partners then?" Peter closes the distance between them.

Gamora crosses her arms and stares up at him. "We had an agreement, but I would never be partners."

"Does that include me?"

The green girl leans in as if to kiss him. She pauses, lips only millimeters away from his. "Especially you, Peter Quill."

He feels her breath against his lips and opens his eyes to see that she had snuck away before they could kiss. A slight chuckle escapes from him as he turns around to see her walking up the stairs with an extra sway to her hips. "Oh, it's on."

Knowhere is practically a place for outlaws, or so Gamora says. It's a grungy place and highly polluted. The streets are packed with aliens of all species, most of them looking homeless, mean, and dirty. They pass a building with a colorfully lit-up sign as a bouncer throws a patron out.

"The buyer's in there?" Peter asks staring as the patron slowly gets up.

"He told me we have to wait for his representative or whatever." Rocket explains as they continue walking.

"This is no respectable establishment. What do you expect us to do while we wait?" Drax asks with a hint of a pout.

"The museum is inside of a bar." Rocket states, stopping in his tracks and turning towards the group.

"There's no way they're going to allow us to drink. We're underage."

The raccoon bats a paw at her. "Psh! They don't care as long as they get units." He starts walking back to the bar with Groot following closely behind.

Drax shrugs and follows suit, leaving Gamora and Peter alone. "I'm gonna fill up the Milano. You coming?"

A sigh escapes the Zen-Whoberian's mouth. "I would, but I still don't completely trust those three. I'll keep an eye on them and meet you inside." Peter nods and plants a quick kiss to her temple before walking back in the direction of the Milano.

It's barely half an hour when Peter returns to the bar, finding her out on the balcony as she cleans her sword. He walks out casually and stands next to her. "Man, you wouldn't believe what they charge for fuel out here. I might actually lose money on this job."

"Doesn't surprise me." Gamora says dryly. "They're making us wait." She sheathes her sword and turns towards Peter with a perturbed expression. "Why did we agree to this, Peter?"

"You wanna escape from Thanos. I wanna escape from Yondu. We're gonna want to leave the academy eventually." He takes a deep breath and sets his forearms on the top of the balcony railing, leaning against it. "I also thought maybe we could leave together." He mutters it under his breath, hoping Gamora would hear it as much as he didn't want her to. He stares out into the void and snaps out of his thoughts as a green hand is gently placed on top of his. Turning his head slowly, he realizes that Gamora is gazing at him with a soft smile upon her lips.

"I-" She was cut off by the sound of a rousing bar fight, involving Rocket, Groot and Drax.

"Oh no." Peter moans, walking past Gamora and entering the bar. She follows suit, noticing Drax being strangled by Groot.

The muscular teen rips himself free of Groot's vines as Rocket powers up his gun. Before he can go after Groot again, Gamora pulls him up by his arm. "STOP IT!"

However, it doesn't stop Rocket from aiming his weapon at Drax. Peter steps in with a defensive hand, blocking his view. "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"THIS VERMIN SPEAKS OF AFFAIRS HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT!" Drax yells trying to push out of Gamora's grasp to get to Rocket.

"THAT IS TRUE!"

"HE HAS NO RESPECT!"

"THAT IS ALSO TRUE!"

"HOLD ON! HOLD ON!" Peter steps closer to Rocket as he starts to aim his gun again.

"KEEP CALLING ME VERMIN, TOUGH GUY! YOU JUST WANNA LAUGH AT ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"

"Rocket, you're drunk, alright? Nobody's laughing at you." The Terran does his best to calm the raccoon down, but the small creature continues.

"HE THINKS I'M SOME STUPID THING! HE DOES! WELL, I DIDN'T ASK TO GET MADE! I DIDN'T ASK TO BE TORN APART, AND PUT BACK TOGETHER, OVER AND OVER AND TURNED INTO SOME...some little monster-"

"Rocket, no one's callin' you a monster."

"HE CALLED ME VERMIN! SHE CALLED ME RODENT!" He screams, pointing to Drax and Gamora respectively. "Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots to your FRICKIN' FACE!" Rocket starts firing up his weapon again, causing Drax to try to go after him again.

"NO, NO, NO, NO! FOUR BILLION UNITS! ROCKET! Come on, man. Hey! Suck it up for one more lousy night and you're rich."

The raccoon hesitates for a moment, finally lowering his weapon with a sigh. "Fine." He says with a slight crack in his voice. "But I can't promise when all this is over I'm not gonna kill every last one of you jerks."

Peter rubs his temple until he hears the last part of the sentence and throws an accusing hand in his direction. "SEE! THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU THREE DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!" He looks around at the other two, finally giving Gamora a sympathetic glance. "Five seconds after you meet somebody, you're already trying to kill them!"

"We have traveled halfway across the quadrant, and Ronan is no closer to being dead." Gamora pushes him away as he pulls out of her grasp.

"Drax!" Peter calls, watching as the musclebound teen walks away in anger.

"Let him go." Gamora says, placing a gentle hand on his arm, not taking her eyes off of the direction in which Drax was headed. "We don't need him."

"The beings they call Rocket and Groot," A pink Krylorian calls from a doorway near them. "I'm here to fetch you for my master!"

[cinnonym]

Who might I be? Anyway, as your ask is open for prompts: extreme (distinctive) characters.

Well, if that isn’t my favourite person in the whole wide world

It’s not every day you encounter the perfect jawline. So when you do, you don’t let it go again. Which, to sum it up, was how Emmy Lou ended up at the mechatronics workshop.

Her backpack dug painfully into this place right between her ribs, where it hurt the most, the assortment of pens and notebooks an unorganized mess. In her defence, she had thrown everything together in her haste to get up and follow jawline-girl from the tram.

Normally, unfinished drawings didn’t annoy her much – it was inevitable if you insisted on drawing strangers on the tram. A tram, by very definition, both collected and lost people at every station, none of which were in Emmy Lou’s control. Her notebooks were overflowing with half-drawn sketches, their status ranging anywhere from a few lines to full-grown coloured art pieces, depending on both the schedule of her models and her own motivation on that particular day.

The point was, Emmy Lou didn’t care all that much about the people she perpetuated on her pages. They were practice, simple, gratis practice, a means to an end to some day get her access to art school. 

The other day an elderly man had looked over her shoulder and sent her a thumbs-up. „Never give up on your passion,“ he’d said and Emmy Lou still couldn’t decide if she should be discouraged by the hopeless manner he’d said it in, or motivated because he’d gone through the trouble to talk to her at all. Then again, Mary always said she was overthinking too much, so maybe she just ought to be glad to have had a human interaction.

None of which mattered now, Emmy Lou told herself strictly, angling her head backwards to look up at the shabby wall in front of her. A brickstone house, similarly rundown as the cottage Emmy Lou herself lived in these days, covered in malicious looking tendrils of ivy. A rusty sign hung from an iron stick, its colours faded it read „Bill'n'Ben’s, Mechatronics inc“. Beneath the sign was a door with a bell.

Emmy Loud had spent the last five minutes looking at said door. Jawline-girl had vanished behind it, a teasing whip of her ponytail the last thing Emmy Lou had seen from her. It was idiotic, probably, to have come here, on account of a half-finished portrait. It was probably idiotic to have come here, period. Emmy Lou should be at the market, running errands for her mum and younger brothers. Instead she was following a girl to her workplace like a downright creep. On the other hand, now that she had come as far, shouldn’t she at least give the situation a try and ring that bell? What could possibly go wrong?

That, Emmy Lou noticed rather quickly, was exactly the wrong question to ask herself. She had barely finished the thought when the scenarios popped up in her head: jawline-girl could be part of a cult, a group of gangly teenagers just waiting for innocent redheads like Emmy Lou to offer as a sacrifice. Or the mechatronics shop could be a disguise for a laboratory of super-scientists – jawline-girl certainly looked the part – and they would abduct Emmy Lou for their researching purposes as soon as she rang the bell. Or worse, the bell itself could be connected to a bomb, which would inevitably destroy the whole building and everything in it, because evidence had to be annihilated.

Or maybe it wasn’t and instead jawline-girl would open the door and laugh at Emmy Lou. In her mind, Emmy Lou imagined a high-pitched and obnoxious laugh that would destroy the positive image she had of the girl. A sneer that would twist that beautiful jawline into something not at all draw-worthy until Emmy Lou would leave, scarred for life and forever untrusting of human beauty.

Before Emmy Lou could lose herself too much in the twisted corners of her brain – though some of the pictures did make for excellent comic material – she used a trick Mary had once shown her, after one of Emmy Lou’s frequent attacks-of-counterproductive-overthinking, short ACO. She took a deep breath, imagined the oxygen streaming down her pharynx, slowly reaching her tubes first, then her bronchia, alveoli and finally her blood. The only subject Emmy Lou liked more than Arts was Biology, and that was mostly due to her young and over-motivated Arts teacher at school, who had insisted on trying out crazy new methods every week. (Recreating statues had been the worst of them. Emmy Lou hated touching other people.)

Once she had successfully distracted herself with the wonders of breathing and the human organism, Emmy Lou turned back to the door. It didn’t have a window, which was too bad, since Emmy Lou would have loved the minimal advantage of knowing where she was about to go before she went there. As it was, she didn’t have much of a choice but to press the bell and wait.

In the twenty-ish seconds it took Bill or Ben or whoever actually owned the shop to open the door, Emmy Lou had made three half-hearted attempts to run. In fact, the only thing really keeping her from making a dash was that the street the workshop lay in stretched on for at least a mile in each direction, with absolutely no corner, turns or even a house entrance to hide behind. If there was anything more embarrassing than ringing a bell of an unknown shop, it was being caught on her flight. 

Plus, she really wanted to finish her portrait of jawline-girl.Which reminded Emmy Lou of the possibility that it could be jawline-girl herself, who was now slowly turning the knob to answer the door, and the thought was so frightening – because what should Emmy Lou say, „I really like your jawline, please let me draw it?“ - that she almost reconsidered her priorities and made a run for it after all.

But by then, the door had finally swung open and Emmy Lou stood rooted to the spot, clutching the string of her backpack with one hand, the other still awkwardly hovering over the doorbell, as she mustered the person in front of her. 

It wasn’t the girl, which was a good omen (she hoped). It wasn’t an old man either, which was the picture both Ben and Bill had evoked in Emmy Lou’s mind. It was, however, the next best thing: an elderly woman. Jackpot, Emmy Lou thought, because while the woman watched her with apprehension of the kind that made all words vanish from Emmy Lou’s brain, she also seemed rather kind and grandmotherly, which was always a good thing.

Emmy Lou remembered her manners just in time before the woman could open her own mouth and undoubtedly ask what the hell Emmy Lou was doing here. Because a short girl with too-frizzy hair and a backpack bulging with notebooks certainly didn’t make the impression of frequenting a mechatronics workshop. But Emmy Lou smiled her most convincing smile that she had practiced in front of her mirror for months now and said brightly enough to fool even herself: „Excuse me, Madam, I am looking for Mister Bill?“

Which, for some reason Emmy Lou couldn’t quite understand – Bill was one of the owners or had she remembered a wrong name? - drew a hearty laugh from the woman.

„My dear,” she then said, her voice just as hearty, and not at all frail like Emmy Lou would have expected, “Bill died years ago. I just haven’t gotten around to change the sign yet, besides, it looks so handsomely alliterative, don’t you think? My name’s Benedicta, I’m the widow. Whatever business you had with dear Bill, I’m afraid you’ll have to make do with me instead.“

„Oh,“ made Emmy Lou, who felt incredibly dumb and vaguely horrified at the idea of other, worse outcomes of her blunder. What if Benedicta had gotten angry instead of amused, or worse, started to cry. What if Bill had died yesterday instead of years ago? She could have put her finger right into a fresh wound and hurt this kindly lady whom she didn’t even know, for no other reason than her absolute incompetence to let go of a perfect jawline when she encountered it.

Benedicta, apparently mistaking Emmy Lou’s mortification at the near miss for some sort of grief, put out a hand to stroke Emmy Lou’s sleeve briefly. (Emmy Lou barely held her hand in place instead of recoiling from the touch, but only because she was still too dazed to react.) 

„Poor girl, don’t be sad,“ she said, her voice hovering between pity, which Emmy Lou abhorred, and a strange amusement. „He died quite peacefully, in his sleep, whoosh and gone. Besides, nobody is really mourning him, he had always been the kind of person who didn’t quite belong on earth, don’t you think?“

Emmy Lou, once again, hesitated. The sheer volubility of the woman overwhelmed her, but at the same time, she felt grateful she didn’t have to do the talking herself. Also, Benedicta was already half-dragging, half-leading her inside, which seemed like a good first step. Now Emmy Lou only had to find jawline-girl and ask her if she minded posing for her, so she could finish her drawing.

But Benedicta, chattering continuously, solved even the next obstacle for Emmy Lou. They had barely passed through a short and narrow hallway, Emmy Lou struggling to fit her bulky backpack through, when Benedicta interrupted her monologue for a second to call out: „Don’t mind us, Tess, tis just a visitor looking for old Bill, isn’t that perfectly amusing?“ And half a minute later, jawline-girl popped her head around a corner, mustered Emmy Lou with the same cool stare she had objected her phone to, back on the tram, and disappeared again.

Emmy Lou almost started after her, drawn to the possibility and once again mesmerized by the stunning perfection of her jawline, but Benedicta’s hand was still on her sleeve, rooting Emmy Lou to her spot at the kitchen table.

„That was my niece, Tessa, she’s living with me. Helping out at the shop too, though Lord knows she isn’t made for the handiwork – no offence, sweetpie!“ The latter being called out in response to the gruff that came from the corner Tessa had vanished behind. 

Benedicta leaned in conspiratorially and winked. „She hates being inept at anything but I’m only telling the truth, you know. People have to learn to live with the truth.“

„I can still hear you,“ Tessa’s voice sounded out, low and melodic though sharp in its irritation, and it was a voice to remember, a voice that demanded attention and praise; a voice befitting that jawline. Once again, Emmy Lou stirred, her artist heart drawing her towards Tessa, towards the artwork. But Benedicta’s grip might as well have been iron for its unwillingness to let her go, and Emmy Lou had no choice but to stay and face the woman’s cheerful smile and airy tone.

„So, what business did you have with dear old Bill?“

Emmy Lou flinched. It seemed ironic, but she had almost forgotten about her excuse to ring the bell, to get into this house which didn’t seem like a workshop at all but more like a really homely kitchen.

„I, uh,“ was what she made as she tried feverishly to come up with an explanation that for one, satisfied Benedicta’s curiosity and on the other hand, could also lead up to a portrait session with Tessa. She came up blank. 

Benedicta was still watching her apprehensively and even from Tessa’s general direction, Emmy Lou picked up a curious sense of expectation, almost as if both women knew she had been playing a ruse thus far and were looking forward to the next act of the play Emmy Lou was performing for them. 

Emmy Lou coloured. Her mind, her wonderfully imaginative mind, that could come up with a thousand and one horror scenarios if need be, that served as live commentator and innate cinema most waking hours of her day, lay now empty and silent before her, unable to concoct a single excuse. 

She sighed.

„I am an artist,“ she said truthfully and at last, before Benedicta could start speaking again, questioning her further, pressing. Her hand, still on Emmy Lou’s arm, felt less comforting now, and a brief image of handcuffs flashed through Emmy Lou’s mind before it went black again. „I’m here because I want to draw - „

„The sign!“ Benedicta interrupted, cheerfully enough to break the heavy atmosphere that had grown in the room. „Of course, that’s why you were mentioning it earlier, Bill had always wanted to repaint the sign. No sense for vintage, the man, that’s what I always said, but you know how they are.“ She nudged Emmy Lou and winked. 

Emmy Lou responded with a weak smile of her own, amazed that yet another problem had been solved by Benedicta’s bubbly personality. Was it lying, she asked herself, if she didn’t correct the wrong assumptions other people made? Was it wrong not to mention that it had been Benedicta, who had been speaking of the sign earlier, that Emmy Lou had never mentioned it once? Was it very despicable not to stop Benedicta in her cheerful rant over how she had paint stored downstairs and how Emmy Lou could start whenever she wanted and “feel free to redesign it completely, dear, I love me some change, besides, it wouldn’t hurt business if a fresh sign attracted some more customers than the current one did.” 

And then she added „Oh, and dear, Tess can help you, she’s decent with colouring, if not at car work,“ and Emmy Lou decided that if she was a despicable being, at least she got what she wanted. Which was more time to study Tessa’s jawline, so she would go with the play for now.

„That sounds awesome,“ she managed to fit in between two of Benedicta’s floods of words, and both of them ignored the complaining „Aunt Bee!“ from the other room.

When the topic turned towards payment, however, even Emmy Lou’s unscrupulousness found an abrupt end.

 „I don’t mind doing it for free,“ she insisted, over and over again, her guts twisting uncomfortably. „Consider it a last gift for poor Bill, a sign in his honour…“

But Benedicta wouldn’t hear of it. „Nonsense,“ she said, her fingers momentarily tightening around Emmy Lou’s wrist with a fierce kindness. „Of course you will be paid, if not in money, at least accept cake and biscuits while you’re working. It’s the least I can do, besides, every girl should have cake and biscuits, I’ve found it lightens the mood so much, don’t you think?“ Emmy Lou couldn’t really argue with that. 

In the end, it was decided that Emmy Lou would start her job tomorrow – now she just had to come up with an excuse for mum, to explain her sudden unavailability for daily chores – and that paint and tools would all be provided by Benedicta whereas Emmy Lou just had to „come and make art“.

And promptly, Emmy Lou was out of the warm kitchen and on the shabby street again, her hand clutching a slip of paper with Benedicta’s phone number - ”In case anything comes up, you know” - her mind struggling to comprehend what had actually just happened. She hadn’t seen Tessa again, but that was okay because starting tomorrow she would see the girl more than enough to finish her sketch. 

And now, Emmy Lou thought, I just have to come up with an idea for that blasted sign I’m supposed to paint and everything will be fine. 

Lying isn’t really lying if you work for it, right? Also, she was adamant to tell herself over and over again; that jawline? It was totally worth it.