#anyway ive been listening to a lot of amy winehouse

[bisaster-energy]

*listens to me and mr jones once* wow the bufus is so real...

[venesicity]

| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) and ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ ?

| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ): favorite tv show?

OUGH CHERNOBYL HBO .. literally The Best thing ive Ever watched in my entire life if you haven’t seen it. Please Watch It. it’s genuinely such a masterpiece of television and writing and casting and everything it’s just.. bro.. it’s so fucking good i. i lov tht show w my life. i saw every episode when they aired and ive watched them p much weekly ever since and im STILL noticing symbolism and subtext and juxtapositions and parallels i never noticed before?? it’s just. so good ok. bare in mind some of the info they give out isn’t ENTIRELY historically accurate (bc the show is based on the info they knew At The Time, which is why they believed irradiated patients to be dangerous and the whole.. baby thing) BUT it’s still 99.9% accurate (like the helicopter scene which a lot of ppl tried to say was wrong bc They Didn’t Actually Look Hard Enough). tht show is just.. godly ok ive never been left so fucking heartbroken and raw by a piece of media in my life

TLDR. chernobyl hbo. but if that doesn’t count then prob like idk.. four in a bed. kitchen nightmares. horrible histories/ghosts/yonderland. i dont rlly watch television !!

ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: what are your favorite band(s)/artist(s)?

GOOD CHRIST THIS EMOJI GETS JANKY ON MOBILE ANYWAYS.

(TOY VOICE) DR STEEL! DR STEEL! i love dr steel SO MUCH if yall haven’t heard his songs then sir/ma’am/si’am what are u Doing. listen to lament for a toy factory and back and forth Or Else. he hasn’t made music in years but his old stuff slaps HARD if yr a fan of Any Fucking Genre please listen to his music.. industrial hip hop opera is how it’s been described before and its prrrretty correct?? also his second album is called eclectic boogaloo (he’s back... breakdancing his way to world domination!) please listen to dr steel thank you. ALSO THOUGH! EMILIE AUTUMN AND AMY WINEHOUSE aka the loves of my deprzzing lyfe lol. emilie autumn is like fem dr steel and more depressed and amy winehouse is incomparable to literally anyone she’s just.. (i sigh dreamily). i also rlly like marina.. the dresden dolls.. amanda palmer.. evelyn evelyn.. alias conrad coldwood if they count.. bastille.. jeremy soule.. the smiths.... kyla la grange....... in short. A Lot

[heartbreakrecord]

You. Are My World.

This is why. You are my world.  Your beautiful eyes draw my soul to you, you are my happy place... Just one word, one sentence from you... makes and/or breaks my entire world.  I love you.

===================================

I'm awake right now because I cant sleep. I dont want to talk to anyone else but you. I was listening to Spotifiy's New Year's 2022 playlist, and while most of it was fire, I heard a whitney houston song, so I started listening to her, which then reminded me of amy winehouse, and I have not listened to her since before I got beat up, because she died the night that I got beat up, and I used to love her, and in my hair school days, I tried to do my make up like her and  my hair, lol. But anyway, in a wierd way, its like a part of me died that night. so anyway, im sitting here, 10 years later, after the fact, and i have a million memories of a million things that have happened, that should have happened, and im just thinking. Like, it just should have been you all along. Anyway, i have not convinced myself to listen to amy winehouse yet, but the thought of her made me stop dancing in my seat and having a tiny mini party for myself at 2:16 in the morning for no particular reason other than i cant make my brain stop and I cant stop thinking about you, and I havent been able to since i told you that I wanted to date *****, and like, thats the thing. I dont know. Im probably just like making no sense at all. But i just wanna be honest, ya know? i just wanna be me, ya know? i dont feel like I get super real about who I am a lot. idk, maybe i do. maybe i just wear it on my sleeve and I dont even have a fucking clue and I just think i dont. but i do know that most of the time, i dont want people to know my emotions, because if they did i think i would feel a lot more vulnerable, and I think i have this weird fear that maybe people might also feel sorry for me? ok, now im really probably making no sense. anyway, since i started this melancholy thought process in my head about amy winehouse and how she is some super sad metaphor for my life, I started listening to Pentatonix. I dont know if you know who they are or not, but I used to listen to them all the time when willow was a baby, because she cried all the time, and they just made me feel so peaceful. They sing acapela. idk if i spelled that right, lol, but you know, they sing without music in the background. and some of their stuff is seriously just so moving. Anyway, im just sitting here, thinking about what im just now writing to you about, and im thinking about you and Im thinking about me and you, and how I want the next 5 years of my life to just pass by so quickly, so I can get past all the hurt and pain and school and hard shit, and just be with you. Like, i know i shouldnt, because its suuuuper easy to trap myself in this super picture perfect place, where our life together just looks so fucking perfect. And we're laughing and cuddling and matching all over the place and its so perfect and cute everyone else looking in just wants to vomit. i know you know exactly what I mean. Anyway, like, i heard this song. and I've heard it by a million fifty different artists, but this time, this time it got me. like seriously made me blubber, because you. because im so fucking in love with you that i cant see straight and im so fucked up by it.

So now, im blubbering, because you keep asking me why you break me. and you keep asking me why i love you. you keep asking me why i fell in love with you. And ive been a little bit upset with myself that i dont have a better answer than i've had for you. and tonight after I hung up with you, i had a really good and really long conversation with my mom about you. and about everything. and ofc I cried, because im aparently just a crying blubbering mess of stupid fucking love lol. but she asked me, "why do you keep talking to *****?" and she was very adamant, and very intense. and seriously, i just took a deep breath, and sat down on the couch next to her, and big tears came up in my eyes, and I said, "because he is the love of my life. and I dont think i've ever loved anyone, because of how ***** makes me feel." and she just grabbed me and gave me a giant mama hug and let me cry it out. so now, im going to tell you why I fell in love with you, because i think i have self reflected enough to be able to tell you this without reserve, and without holding anything back. so I hope you are ready for the real unadulterated answer. because it might be intense for you.

You are the first person (when I say person, i mean it. I dont mean "guy," i mean "person.") that has ever just looked me square in the eye and told me my worth even when I didnt believe it. even when I looked in the mirror and didnt see what you saw. Even when everyone around me thought I was moving mountains, and I thought i was letting them move me. You are the first person (other than my mother, f course) that looked at me and told me that Im beautiful. boyfriends, even my ex husband, i cant ever remember them saying that to me. There was always some "but" to it. my hiar was too big. I was too pale. Too loud. My dreams were too big. I was too much of a person. So many things. ***** used to tell me (and he was not the first person to say it) that so many people think im too much, i need to work on being quiet.

You are the first person that saw me. Im goofy and silly and nerdy and i like to play video games yeah, but you are the first person that saw me. Like, actually saw ***** and not *****. and I dont mean that in like a video game way. I mean that in real life. so many people just think im fun and shallow and whatever. but you saw me. really. You are the first person that saw my potential when you looked at me. you didnt just see a pretty face or someone who could do something for you. you saw potential when you looked at me. You are the first person that looked at me and saw that im worth it.

That is why I love you. That is why you are the love of my life. That is why I am so deeply, head over fucking heals, crazy in love with you, and I cannot rest, i will not rest, i cant be anywhere else other than with you. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to spend my forever braided into your forever.

i know that i said i wanted to take a shot with *****. bit ***** is not the love of my life, and I know that. he is not you. he cannot ever give me what you give me. he cannot ever see me like you see me

*****, i am yours. my heart is yours. i want to wake up next to your face every day and never ever get tired of it. I want to give you goodnight kisses and never ever get tired of it.

Im going to stop typing. because Ive written you so much shit, you're going to have to take an hour long shit to read it all. lol. i love you with my whole heart. its yours. i am yours. i want to be yours.

[pavlovers]

ooh i'm late for music asks but 1, 3 (or usual genres bc your taste isn't that confined), 5, 7, 22, 23, 29

1. favorite album opener

uhh i guess one would be tender by blur?? that’s like my go-to for hopeful and uplifting songs, i just love the rawness of it and the choir that comes in towards the end gives me chills every time ughdj

3. a song outside of your usual genre(s)

hmm a recent example would be canary yellow by deafheaven. im definitely not the biggest fan of black metal but i dig the dreamy shoegaze influences on this song and somehow i dont really mind the unclean vocals at all?? which is usually my biggest hangup with heavier music but here it’s pretty alright

5. a song from a lifelong favorite artist 

i dont really remember liking a ton of music when i was super young, alas i was a little too young at the time to have been really invested in disney channel golden era music so most of my exposure to music was through the radio pretty much. and not to bash 2010-2012 pop music because some real gems did come out of it but,, yeah not any that sparked my interest enough to check out the rest of an artist’s discography. also i was like,, peak edgy most-pop-music-sucks-i-dont-like-having-any-fun mentality so that didnt really help. anyways what im getting at is the closest thing i have to a childhood artist that i still love nowadays is fob so im just gonna say fame is less than infamy. because that’s a damn fine cut off infinity on high/p>

7. a song that a friend introduced you too that you ended up loving

combing through my spotify library while answering these, i rediscovered autumn rendezvous by francoise hardy which im pretty sure you mentioned or recommended me in some ask like many many months ago but anyways i do truly love that song, and ive been saying this for way too long but i really do need to take the time to just sit down for a good while and listen to her discography because from the six or so songs ive heard from her ive like,, sorta halfway fallen in love with her voice she sounds like the prettiest softest angel ajdnfkdf

i also did get into amy winehouse by a friend linking me a cover of just friends, and id still consider it one of my favorites off back to black currently

22. a song you related to the past and present, but for different reasons

man idk i was racking my brain for every emo relationship song i held dear to my heart in like eighth grade because it spoke to my depressed soul but uhh yeah as it turns out im only 15 and i still dont have any relationship experience so not much has changed in terms of how i relate to music sjnvdkf. most songs that i listen to nowadays i also dont really ever relate on like an intimately personal level either so i dont really have a good answer im afraid

23. your favorite cheesy pop song 

uhh immediately the first thing that popped into my mind was early beatles so probably either ask me why or baby it’s you

29. favorite album closer 

hmm a song that comes to mind is the tourist by radiohead off ok computer. i mean a lot of radiohead songs give me chills but oh man,, the twinkling guitar melody erupting into just the most perfect solo towards at the end plus arguably one of thom’s best vocal performances is like.. a damn knockout way to end one of the most critically acclaimed albums of all time

[sour-glass]

no one asks me anything bc im kinda inactive and unknown so imma jus do it anyway??? ok height: 5'4 virgin? no shoe size: 8.5 usually but it depends do u smoke??? smoke what??? jk ya i shmoke do u drink??? no unless its offered to me/theres wine do u take drugs/?? not usually but im tryna get some shrooms or acid soon age u get mistaken for? 17-30 :/ got any tattoos?? no im a wimp with a low pain tolerance want any tattoos??? ya maybe someday when im not a weak ass anymore piercings?? jus my ears want any piercings?? ya id like a nose ring but probably a septum jus bc i can tuck it up for work best friend?? i guess my boyfriend since i see him the most. i love him relationship status?? we in love turn on? neck kisses turn off: smelly beards favorite movie???? fuck idk i remember i really liked daydream nation back in the day but idk if i would still like it as much now. probably apocolypto or the room ill love u if?? u pay my bills honey someone u miss?? my friends in midland. i remember having a good time with them it was so pure most traumatic experience?? my childhood/relationship with my dad what i hate most about myself: my inability to express myself creatively. i got so many ideas and no skills to do anything w them what i love most bout myself: my attitude. its helped me get thru some weird shit, im still here what i want to be when im older?? an entrepreneur of some sort or an artist pioneer of an artform that hasnt been created yet or a therapist maybe. i can listen relationship w my sibling: we're cool, got each others back, but she dont know her place sometimes. hopefully im a mentor to her in some way relationship w my parents: mom- my rock, always there when i need her, but is annoyingly frugal. dad- nonexistent, helped me get set up with a car, keeps trying to see me ideal perfect date: plan something, it falls thru, and we end up doing some other shit thats a lot more fun, then we fuck ourselves to sleep :~) biggest pet peeves: ppl sneezing/coughing without even trying to cover themselves, boogers in my nose in a setting where its inappropriate for me to pick it, untied shoelaces, seeing a really juicy pimple and not being able to pop it description of the boy/girl i like: well hes caring and silly, corny, sweet. he likes video games, making beats, weed, pokemon cards, and memes a reason ive lied to a friend: i didnt actually have errands to run, ive jus got mad social anxiety and can only hang out in small does im sry what i hate most about work/school (work): the mean customers, the bullying from coworkers, only having one day off (up until next week boiiiii) last text message says: "ya i jus thought since im waking up early i shouldnt go to the gym" (excuses) what words upset me the most: annoying, shut up, leave what words make me feel the best about myself: this one is confusing what i find attractive in women: hair, ass, nipples what i find attractive in men: hair, beard, nipples, lips where i would like to live: im not sure if of the actual destination, but id like to live somewhere where theres a small amount of children, in a town where no one cared if i wore my pjs to the store in the afternoon, where art is everwhere, weed is legal maybe? cats everywhere one of my insecurities: loaded question but ok -- my face. i feel like i have a weird face and dont look like a average person, but i think everyone probably feels like that .. right my childhood career choice: actress/singer ofc, then a lawyer favorite icecream flavor: cappucino chocolate chunk from braums who i wish i could be: amy winehouse, rihanna, kali uchis,grimes where i want to be right now: with jake the last thing i ate: peanut m&ms sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: salma hayek random fact about anything: anything i say here feels unnatural so pass