#anyway ive basically just partially rewritten what i sent in on the google form ldigkjfgh

[bi-demon-ium]

okay listen. i understand that nancy deserves some rest, but i have two things to say. a) i would argue that while nancy definitely has Been Through It and Had A Time, she isn't Sleepy. she does not have sleepy energy. i realize this isnt the only qualifier in this tournament, but nonetheless i feel it's significant.

b) i believe someone has already talked a bit about books mr benedict (that'd be the one on the top) so i'm here to tell you about show mr benedict. for a really long time.

first of all, the man is medically sleepy. he has narcolepsy. i'm JUST SAYING. it's kind of his whole vibe.

secondly of all, man looks like he is on the verge of an emotional breakdown literally the msot of the time he's onscreen, with the exception of when he's literally whammied into feeling false joy (we'll GET TO THAT) and even then he's still stressed out and scared.

man had a shitty childhood living in an orphanage with his brother, who he loves, but is very controlling, and then something happens when they're twelve where they get separated (he gets adopted and his brother doesn't) and he blames himself and carries that guilt and self-loathing for decades.

then he spends at least a decade trying to stop a worldwide issue that no one else can or will acknowledge, to the point where he's basically repeatedly gaslit and told that he's crazy and nothing is wrong and he's being paranoid. eventually he manages to gain a few people who believe him (still rotating in my brain that they're all found family and yet exclusively call him by his last name/"mr" benedict, and don't do this with each other) and then realizes the literal only way to stop the dangerous Worldwide Brainwashing is employing the help of actual children, which leaves him distraught and frightened on their behalf and guilty even though he truly believes--and correctly--that they will be in more danger if they don't act than if they do.

and THEN he finds out that the person behind everything--the person who's been brainwashing the world, who's ruined his reputation and swallowed up the last ten or more years of his life, who's repeatedly sent men to attack, taze, and kidnap him, including breaking into his home and trying to kidnap him from there, the person who wiped his friend's memories and stole his life (and later we found out separated him from his daughter, who grew up in an orphanage because of this until she ran away to JOIN THE CIRCUS), the person he's been fighting for so long--is in fact the twin brother he lost so long ago, who knowingly did all of this and never tried to reach out to him. he's devastated and blames himself for how his brother turned out, and by extension in some ways blames himself for everything his brother did. at one point it looks like one of his friends may have died and he blames himself for that too because the man has guilt the size of texas and self worth the size of an electron. the kids also end up in more danger, which he's also guilty and stressed about.

they (mostly the kids to be honest) manage to stop his brother's plans but not before he faces him for the first time in like three decades or so. his brother promptly emotionally manipulates him and uses his disability against him in order to escape, leaving him on the ground with zero regret.

then in season two his brother comes back with YET ANOTHER evil plan, except this time his friends have largely scattered and one of them is like "it's okay if you're jealous but there's nothing wrong, there's nothing to stop" so once again he's telling everyone something is horribly wrong and being dismissed as crazy/paranoid/"just jealous" except now he's not alone except he is because they either aren't there or don't believe him either, even though his brother's new "i can make anyone happy" tv interviews are insanely suspicious. not to mention he's TAKEN CREDIT for stopping the worldwide crisis HE CAUSED, and very much did NOT stop, the thing that again, took up like ten years of nicholas & friends' lives, but sure! that CULT HIS BROTHER IS STARTING OVER THERE ISN'T SUSPICIOUS AT ALL. oh yeah. he's starting a cult. btw.

so his brother kidnaps him and the friend and they're Trapped In The Cult, where everyone keeps comparing him to his brother, and then eventually he gets whammied with the new evil plan, which is basically a thing that makes you feel "involuntary elation" (terrifying combination of words!) but it's like, artificial joy. so he's basically like! haha no more depression! except not really because he's still scared and worried but also isn't at the same time bc His Brain Is Being Messed With and he keeps trying to fight it and going back and forth and basically desperately wanting to give in bc he's so tired, he's so hurt and exhausted and to just be happy would be so nice, to be with his brother again who he loves and misses and desperately wants to redeem, he wants to believe it could be that easy but he can't.

at one point he even learns something--that this false happiness state all the cult members, including him, are in, has unexpected and unintended side effects where they START GOING INTO COMAS THEY WONT WAKE UP FROM, and he knows it'll happen to him, and he notes that he knew he should be terrified and worried but he wasn't, and THAT scared him, but he's just glad anything can scare him at all anymore. which again. terrifying emotional manipulation.

he's also isolated at this point bc he and his friend disagree on how to deal with his brother--nicholas is determined to save him, to talk to him, because he loves him and still blames himself for his perceived abandonment of his brother, while his friend can't or won't understand why he would want to repair their relationship in the first place. also side note this is more the writing than her but she also constantly makes a bunch of comments about his weight that make him visibly uncomfortable and it's?????? please fucking stop. i'm making her sound bad and i swear she isnt most of the time but like jesus christ. why did they include this.

anyway the only person he's really having much positive contact with is his brother, who's actively manipulating him because he also loves nicholas but thinks he has to force him to stay close because of the whole childhood thing and his own obsession with control that stems from their shared disability among other things, so he's going about it in a super fucked up way bc hes a super fucked up guy. so nicholas is struggling with all of this like--their shared past and issues, his own guilt, his brother manipulating him, the Whammying/false joy he's trying to fight but finding it really hard to, the worry over the kids who are definitely making it their business to come and Save Them From The Cult even though they're like 13, etc., and he's also isolated and he's just. the only person he has to talk to consistently is his brother, who is actively manipulating him and hurting him and intentionally driving a wedge between him and his friend to isolate him further and convince him to stay willingly.

eventually the kids do fully break into the cult compound to rescue them (including his adopted daughter who refuses to acknowledge he's her adopted father, because she's a tiny psychic with big issues, who is also now whammied like he has been and in danger of going into a coma) and manage to break him out of the whammy and kidnap his brother out of the cult when they escape and then his brother has a redemption arc speedrun somehow and the daughter does go into a coma and terrifies him but they manage to get her out safely, just barely.

and then the season ends with him finding out they apparently have an evil sister which is insane (i can't believe they eurus holmesd us. i'm still not over this. i'm so angry we're not getting a season three bc i desperately needed to see that particular trainwreck.) between that and the lowkey emotionally abused nephew that as far as i can tell no one told him about, it looks like he has more family issues incoming

anyway this man needs a nap so goddamn badly. not only is he traumatized to hell and back he literally looks like a drowned kitten for more than half of his screentime. even when he's smiling it's either sad or in two seconds it crumbles into a sad expression. for most of season one he's on the verge of tears and for the parts of season two he isn't whammied, particularly the first few episodes, he looks like he's about to have a panic attack for WAY too much of his screen time. please give him some rest, a hug, please give him a nap, man has been through so much and is visibly exhausted, we literally see him not sleeping when he should be or staying up all night multiple times, he's both so sleepy and so exhausted & tired, PLEASE LET HIM HAVE A NAP, PLEASE