#anyway it's late and I'm tired and I'm rambling so this might make no sense and it's probably filled with mistakes

[theinheriteddutchess]

(like I said I couldn't find this and thought I lost it, but had it opened somewhere else and only found it today, I hate this, sorry)

You're right about her kindness is more forced and mentioned by others, than what we really witness about her. Especially hearing everything from her herself. She doesn't seem like a kind and selfless person. Guilt can definitely play into this, or assigned roles. And Bella's self worth is little, she died what she needs to. But I noticed any pity or sympathy she has is so fleeting. Genuine care is hard to find.

Again everything is such a fleeting thought or experience, any sacrifices or consequences are mostly left to the others, or ignored. Everything's glossed over. Even her depression and abandonment issues, becoming a skeleton giving birth. Like it doesn't matter. And though there's pain there, it's self inflicted or chosen. And it's not really mentioned. It's seen as heroic or something? But all these choices still circle around her admiration of Edward? She seems to want to do anything for him, or be connected to him. But again, that is still her deciding to do that.

Edward is equally selfish. The Volturi thing was completely their fault. And everyone had to participate or lose a loved one (or several). Jacob conveniently imprinting on a species he hated and is his natural enemy. He had no choice, and now the whole wolfpack had to help them. How useful for Bella.

Oh god yes, everyone goes to fight the enemy they created, and yet Bella and Edward are saved away from the fight, even though Edward, mind reader, could be useful there and keep them safe. This was so selfish. She doesn't really care about anyone else's lives. And that can happen, but she insists to be part of their lives or make decisions that affect them.

Bella is not comfortable with her army killing people perse, but it's her daughter, so it'll have to do... All those lives, just for one hybrid child. They could have chosen to gather in another country..but no, because they're comfortable in a fancy house. Nessie loves and she's happy.... But the ones who died are forgotten.

Being in love doesn't excuse throwing others under the bus. The way she treated her father for example. I feel that she sees people as exposable and Edward mattered because she wanted him. Indeed rose and Jake were raising that kid and would die for her and her well being, Bella had this fantasy about her kid, aka mini Edward. And still prioritized sex with Edward. Notice how she organized Jacob and Nessie escaping but she and Edward are doing to die together because they can't be apart.

She's not solely responsible and circumstances were difficult, but it's her way of thinking and acting that puts me off. She doesn't need to be perfect, but she's presented as unproblematic and wise and I didn't see that. She had flaws that are focused on that are supposed to make her imperfect, but they're not that bad, but the underlying flaws, the ones that cause these things to happen, are ignored. And those are her real flaws.

Everyone could die there, except Nessie... Which could be seen as a mother's decision... But I'm just thinking of all of them who would die.... And Bella was willing to risk that. Their lives aren't important.

Your past part is just exactly it. Her happy end, ends everyone else's.

I don't know why anyone would even want to be her friend or feel they can depend on her. You know she will never look after you if it means any inconvenience to her or her husband.

Just wanted to say your ask to panlight about Bella and everyone suffering except her, was spot on and you've listed everything that annoys me about her and her choices.

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that!

👋🏻 hope you're having a good day!

Thank you so much! I genuinely enjoy when other readers analysis and headcanon the series into something more equal and fair. However, as presented, I just don't see Bella as this uniquely kind and selfless person. Depressed and inert, sure. However, in my opinion, there is a significant difference between kindness because of genuine altruism and "kindness" because of martyrdom or self-loathing. I'm speaking from unfortunate personal experience.

As well, as I listed, so many of Bella choices are only difficult or sacrificial for her in the short term. Yes, she suffers pain from choosing Edward when James targets her, but within two years she's a fabulous vampire with everything she ever wanted. Same with choosing to go to Italy, choosing to have Nessie, etc. Whereas Leah, Rose, and so many others not only never even had a choice, but then they get to suffer continually. Leah will always miss her father, Rose will always long for children and live with her trauma, and so on.

It's especially aggravating when others suffer because of Bella's choices. Bella chooses Edward; Jacob forcefully imprints on Nessie, where neither of them actually have a choice. Bella chooses to run to Edward in New Moon; the entire Cullen clan is now on the Volturi's hit list. Bella chooses to reunite with Edward and the Cullens; Victoria creates a newborn army which kills dozens of young people and causes the shifters to transform. Bella chooses the vampires over the shifters and demands that Edward sit out the fight; the other combatants are in more danger and Jacob gets hurt. Bella chooses to have Nessie; the shifters get pulled into a supernatural war and transformed against their will.

Yes, so much of that isn't directly Bella's fault. However, Bella spends very little time thinking of any consequences for herself, let alone anyone else. She's willing to die to be with Edward, her parents be damned. She's willing to put so many others into danger to be with Edward, this "good" character we're supposed to champion. She's even willing to die with Edward against the Volturi, after an entire book praising what an amazing mother she is. Having a baby doesn't make you a mother; being a parent does, and honestly Rose and Jacob are more of Nessie's parents than Bella and Edward.

As someone who cares about all of the characters, I just don't see Bella as the heroine or the story as fair. Bella actively, consistently choses Edward over all other things (and all other people). The narrative rewards her decisions (that are pretty fucking selfish and terrible across the board) by giving her her every dream come true and her "perfect piece of forever." Everyone else has to make due with Bella's crumbs.

Some choice.

[lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me]

could you write a quick thing abt hoon and comfort? like the s/o and hoon had an argument and then he makes it up to her. idk if it makes sense but hoon has been running thru my mind lately (never forgetting riki ofc tho)

-⭐️

missed date (request) ♪ park sunghoon

warnings: fluff, comfort, angst if you squint REALLY hard, pet names (angel, babe), gender neutral reader, really bad humor (its completely me), mentions of cuddling, hoon is so sweet :(, i think thats all!

this wasn’t the idea y/n had for the night. it was supposed to be the perfect night. sunghoon was supposed to come over and they were going to cook together and watch movies. that was until he didn’t show up. as y/n ignored the pinging phone, all from sunghoon trying to apologize and explain. the texts ended suddenly, but soon after, a thud comes from the window. what was that? they wonder. they look out the window to see their boyfriend outside, another rock in his hand ready to throw at the window. they open it and yell down at him “what the hell are you doing here sunghoon?”. “to apologize. please let me in y/n it’s really cold. i know im an ice skater and you call me elsa, but the cold does in fact bother me anyway”. they smile faintly at their boyfriends joke. “fine, i’ll be down in a second. go to the door” he smiles up at them as they close the window. they open the door and are immediately pulled into sunghoons arms. "i'm so sorry angel i didn't mean to forget. vocal practice ran late and i was just so tired that i went straight back to the dorm and fell asleep and i didn't wake up to my alarm-" he rambles on trying to explain himself for skipping their date. y/n couldn't help but smile at his adorable, apologetic state. "hey, it's okay hoon. don't worry" they say. "its not okay! you're upset and i'm such a shitty boyfriend!" they feel bad for him as he clearly felt terrible for the accident. they calmly explain to him "babe, im not upset. it was an innocent mistake. i'd much rather you get rest and accidentally miss our date, then not get rest and come tired or completely forget and we fight. its okay. i'm not mad.". "are you sure you're not mad?" he asks. "not at all" they say, smiling faintly at their worried boyfriend. he responds with a smile back, the adorable fangs that had charmed y/n peeking through. "come on, i expect serious cuddles after our missed date" y/n half jokes, "i couldn't think of a better way to make it up to you" sunghoon replies, the adoring tone clear in his voice. he loved his partner, and he couldn't think of a better way to spend his night then cuddling and watching movies with the person he loved most in this world.

masterlist

luckys note!: THROWING ROCKS AT YOUR WINDOW AT MIDNIGHTTT is what this imagine reminded me of and i LOVE it. if there's any 5sos fam reading this: hey im one of you🤭 but i hope this was good this is like my first written imagine so it might be a bit wonky LMAOO so im open to ways to improve my writing!! i hope you all enjoyed and i hope this is what you were looking for ⭐️ !!! thank you sososo much for your request i very much giggled and smiled a lot while writing this

© lvcky-g1rl-syndr0me, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.

(📍) PERM TAGLIST IS OPEN!

@siya-bean @ivyannemarie

(🎀) ANON/EMOJI LIST IS OPEN!

⭐️

[666writingcafe]

New Voice Messages (Part Three)

Lucifer

"Hey. I know it's late and you're probably asleep, so you don't have to respond to this right away. I should be asleep, but I keep tossing and turning whenever I try, so I gave up on that hours ago. I'm currently sitting on the rooftop, looking up at the night sky. Well, and recording this message, but that's self-explanatory, I feel. *sighs* Don't mind my rambling. I'm both incredibly tired and slightly tipsy. I finally got around to trying the bottle of Demonus that Diavolo gave us as a housewarming gift, and it's pretty decent. I had a couple glasses of it before coming up here, thinking that it'd help put me to sleep. Obviously, it hasn't, but it was worth trying, I suppose. I at least feel like I can respond to your note without choking on my words or banging my head in frustration. *briefly pauses* Given the way you signed off on it, I'm going to assume that you trust me enough to not abuse your old name. That's also why I'm outside. Less likely to be overheard using it by my brothers. If that's okay with you. If it's not, feel free to tell me off for it the next time we meet. So, MC. *pauses again before lightly singing MC's name* Have I ever told you it's a pretty name? Saying it is comforting somehow. *clears his throat* Sorry. Like I said, I'm a bit drunk."

"Feeling more in control now. Might still ramble a bit, but hopefully not as much as before. *takes a deep breath* The first time I read your note, I ended up crying. Not because you said something wrong, but because it was...sweet? Is that the word I'm looking for? *briefly pauses as a gust of wind gets picked up on the mic* It'll have to do for now, I guess. Anyway...it's interesting how you and Diavolo said more or less the same thing, and yet I'm more inclined to listen to you than I am to him. Perhaps it's the difference in tone? I could definitely tell that he was getting frustrated with me towards the end of our phone call. I know there's a part of him that sees me as a really shiny toy, one that he's quite territorial over. If I were to leave his side, he'd throw a massive fit, I'd imagine, and he might start a war over it. Which is silly. I'm not worth fighting over. *pauses* And yet everyone seems to for some reason. It's like I cause people to lose their minds. I don't know if it's due to the amount of titles and prestige I've had or my physical appearance or something else entirely, but they seem to all go into hysteria after spending any significant amount of time with me. Except for you, MC. You don't care about Lucifer Morningstar, former Lightbringer, Avatar of Pride, yadda yadda yadda. You simply see me as me, if that makes sense. You want to make sure that I'm okay, and you don't expect anything in return. It's a way of repaying back the kindness bestowed upon you in your situation, I suppose. And it'd be cruel of me to ignore all of that and still plunge to my death. So I'm staying. *pauses* You're right. This does feel weird. You better make good on your promise, MC, or I may end up changing my mind again. *chuckles* Don't take that last part too seriously. I'm merely messing with you a bit."

"You know, I wonder what my brothers are thinking about this...offer being made to us. I already know Mammon and Beel would stay, and Belphie's going to do whatever Beel does, but I'm not sure about Levi and Asmo. I mean, you were there when Asmo was yelling at me about leaving the Celestial Realm. Do you think he's eagerly packing his bags as we speak, or--"

A Few Hours Later

"Sorry about the abrupt ending of my last message. Mammon caught me on the rooftop. We ended up talking for a while. *pauses* The two of us have an interesting relationship. Kinda similar to the one I have with Satan. Mammon's sort of my brother and sort of my son, except he didn't spring out of me like Satan did. He's the first angel I felt the need to protect. Everyone else was prepared to throw him away, even though he was merely a child. I couldn't sit back and let them treat him like that, especially not after I held him in my arms as he was crying. He was around the Chihuahua's age when that happened. *clears his throat* I apologize. I know you don't like me calling Luke a chihuahua. I really am trying not to. *pauses* So yeah. Satan's technically the third oldest, since he came into existence in my mind shortly after I took Mammon under my wing. Levi came into the picture when Mammon was a teenager, and the others when he was just becoming a fully-grown angel. *pauses again* It was actually Mammon that insisted that we take care of them, and he was so earnest about it that I couldn't say no. I mean, the fact that he was willing to do for others what I've done for him...I was quite proud of him. Still am, even though he insists on putting on a persona these days. I know deep down, he still cares about everyone. *pauses yet again* Is it weird that I feel comfortable sharing all of this with you, MC? It might be the alcohol still affecting me, but somehow I don't think it is. I...I think I've come to trust you. Completely. I haven't even gotten there with Diavolo yet, and I've known him a lot longer. *chuckles* You truly are special, little lamb. *silence* Shit. That wasn't supposed to be said out loud. I better go before I start calling you more silly nicknames. Good night, MC."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix

[voiceofsword]

hi mimi :] guess who got new "matching" voicelines . i think i might be a bit delusional but it's a saga in my HEART and i will now rough tl/paraphrase them for you as i haven't the time to do it properly atm ( i'm at work but i had to inform you asap )

niki: i'm developing new recipes for a cooking segment on a new show i was put in charge of ! i'm thinking of focusing on spring vegetables ..

rinne: ( yawn ) i went out with niki early in the morning to dig up bamboo shoots, and we stayed there until pretty late in the evening, i've been so tired .. i think i'll sleep a bit now

niki: rinnekun told me spring was a great time for picnics, so i'm going to make a bento ! what would go nicely in it .. 💭

i swore there was another one but i don't feel like checking the shop atm to see if i missed a line . will update you if i did o7

WAUUGHHH THANK YOU... IVE SEEN A FEW COMICS ABT THEM BUT HAVENT GOTTEN THEM MYSELF so thank u so much for keeping me updated. now i will ramble

thinking about rinne being like (grumble grumble) why am i up this early (grumble grumble) damn you niki (in spite of agreeing to drive him the night before).... but still driving him, and joining him in digging up the bamboo shoots, and they end up having such a good time that he forgot he was even that tired at all to begin with. cue rinne and niki sitting in silence for like 5 mins in the car before he starts playing stuff from a playlist he made for the two of them and they immediately start singing/humming along

and in the following bento line i can imagine that happening almost before rinnes, like oh, bc rinnes doing this for me ill make us some food since he said spring is nice for picnics :) itll be fun and yummy food is always good~ (not just thinking about the food, obviously, but specifically remembering that tiny detail and wanting to Share That with the person he loves)

so by the time they have a few bags of bamboo shoots and are exhausted and covered in dirt nikis like ta dah!!! i made us bentos!! and rinnes thankful but also like omg, is this a date, does niki like me? i wouldve gotten dressed nicer 😳😳 nikikyun, you shoulda told meeee (super teasing, everyone knows theyre dating, hes being silly) and niki jokingly smacks him like no way! not like you wouldve done the laundry today anyway!! (but makes no attempt to reject the date idea) and and and.

idk i just started thinking about this scenario, i always love the "oh i have to do this thing" and the other immediately joining in like "well duh obviously i gotta go with you" both in the more serious sense and with more everyday activities like this, as much as they complain they treasure each others company so much IM DEADDDDDDD

[howdoesagrapewrites]

𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥

Cw: sleep deprivation, hallucinations, suicide, self harm, poly!reader x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, force feeding but not in a fetish way, vomit (only mentioned), drugging, selective/situational mutism, the hallucinations catholicism related (sorry I'm hispanic), kinda comfort at the end?

Notes: Tumblr wouldn't let me upload this?? I tried several times so I decided to just post it alone. Anyways, this happens after a variation of the events in Even as the void consumes them but the reader didn't succumb to stockholm syndrome

"Open. Up" Gayatri's voice was nothing but an echo, a disturbance in the sound waves. You can feel she has her hand on your jaw, trying to force it open. You had vomited everything that had entered your system the las three days, it's not even intentional at this point, it's like your body rejects whatever its presented. It makes sense, in a way. Your body is rejecting them, just like you do.

You stubbornly clench your jaw in a silent protest. Not that there's other way to oppose her, the second your lips are slightly spread, she'll force the food down your throat.

You recognize their patience. They have been trying to feed you for, an hour? You are tempted to leave it uncertain, as time is not something your tired brain can afford to care about.

Every escape plan has failed so far, the one time you could leave the building, you were returned by the police. And after your second attempt, you moved, they got a house instead of an apartment, you could see through windows, it was a completely unknown place, you assumed it was Mumbattan since Pavitr had "work" here, but aside from that, is hopeless.

Gayatri's hand lets go of your jaw, she's getting increasingly frustrated at your resistance. You see her holding back tears. You could go on a whole ramble about how she must feel seeing you starve, and sleep deprive yourself, a person she loves dearly, in theory. However, you don't allow yourself to be moved by their sob stories anymore, you're too tired, you're too damaged.

"Have it your way. This little stunt won't be successful, you won't die." She says as she gets up from the chair and exits the living room, have you been rested and functioning properly, you would've listened to her whispering something more. "I can't let you die"

As of late, you only sleep when you're passed out, only get nourished when they leave you no choice. You really wished there was a less painful way to go, but they made sure you couldn't hurt yourself, no knives, no razors, no pills (not even ibuprofen), they baby-proofed the entire house so you wouldn't hurt yourself with the corners of the furniture, Pavitr wanted to remove the door from your room so he could watch you 24/7, but Gayatri talked him out of it. You don't know if it's genuine respect for the little privacy you had left, or just because being exposed also meant that they were exposed as well, and you've seen how she storms out because she doesn't have the strength to keep her tears from falling, you hear their endless rantings at night, it always ends the same way: they wail about the lost time, about the things you said or did, or about the teeny tiny impression that they might have screwed up, it's all the same, they'll end up curled up in each other's embrace, conjuring excuses and hope-filled speeches about "things going back to how they were".

You see the plate laying beneath you. Full of maggots, you gag and feel the now familiar burn in your dry throat. You fight the urge to slam the plate away, this happened before, everytime they leave, food turns to maggots, they can't see it, but you know what they're really feeding you. It's better, you definitely have no appetite now.

You head to your room, now filled with the floral wallpaper you hate. When you saw it for the first time, you made your nails bleed from scratching the walls, you hated it, you yelled at them, berated them in every way you knew how. It was the only thing you'd ask for in this hellhole. If you can't have freedom, please let the yellow flowers stay with you. Eventually they got some, but not enough to cover the whole room, no longer 5,128 flowers. You said you wouldn't speak a word to them until they got you the rest, but you know that's not the real reason why you don't talk anymore.

"Don't talk, go make bread" an old man whispers

"Your eyes taste like how the color purple tastes like"

You hear a knock on the door, followed by more voices.

"You're ungrateful."

"Break the door"

"Don't answer the door"

"I really want to sleep"

"Pigeons are nice because they know things"

Voices always calm down when Michael shows up. The glow hurts your eyes, the divine light hurts the sinner.

"Father shall not leave thee, you face the calvary for those who are innocent"

Those who are innocent.

Pavitr is not innocent, you recall it now.

He gave you a spoonful of something, then he pecked your closed lips. You don't know you weren't moving, it feels like you were watching a movie about yourself.

Pavitr is not innocent, so you aren't doing this for him.

What are you doing?

Y/N collapsed on the floor, the loud thump alerted the other two people.

"They'll be better now, you can rest" Pavitr reassured to the woman next to him

"They keep trying to hurt themselves, they won't let us nurse them back to health" there was an audible tear in Gayatri Singh's voice, cracking, a little hoarse, tired.

"We can't blame them for being ill. Remember, love, in sickness and in health" Pavitr picked the body, it was malnourished, skin thin like a sheet of paper, multiple little injuries that never healed properly. He put them in the bed, freshly made, no one has slept there in a while.

"In sickness and in health" Gayatri repeated, with hope, as she tucked her lover into the bed, she made sure it was comfortable, even for someone who won't know the difference.

They kiss their slumbering lover's hands, then sit down, in well needed silence.

"We need to call the physician to see if they can put them in IV therapy or something" Gayatri said, her worries still exacerbating

"One day at a time, jaanu, one day at a time."

[dearreaders-things]

rambling directors commentary of my vampire!au julian x mc fic? yes? yes.

i mentioned it on ao3 but: inspired by the lovely vampire headcanons post from @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia bc who doesn't love a vampire's s/o offering their blood to be drunk?

title! bittersweet ugh this one absolutely fell into place while i was writing, i loved it and immediately went in to make sure it was like a recurring motif through the whole fic

i did consider spelling it bittersuite, shout out billie eilish, but ultimately decided against it because the "suite" doesn't quite fit or make sense with the story. however i LOVE that song and listened to it a lot while writing. probably the vibes match.

that one tumblr post abt julian saying upsy-daisy when someone's fallen? yes.

but i love writing him as like a Doctor!! that man is a Scientist and i'm tired of ppl pretending he's not! all the talk of recessive genes and unfalsifiable hypotheses and scalpels, yeah that was a nice lens to look through

dude maybe the most fun part of writing vampire stuff is deciding what lore to fold in. completely disregarding things if you feel like it and getting to add whatever you want? very cool. i mean, such is the nature of folklore :D

i think the vampire backstory of this was also inspired by ali hazlewood's novel bride. shout out to that.

the "metal burns you" stuff i'm pretty sure is from fae stuff? anyways that was a cool association. i also really liked finding a reason to give astrella, my oc, scars in this au. i feel like my fics lately have been a big flashing sign saying "author has dermatillomania!!!" but anyways

also the symbolism with astrella touching something she shouldn't?? mhm mhm that was such a good moment when i noticed it

also also it gave me a reason for her and julian to have matching gloves, which is an image that held over from a different fic of mine (obv in that one it's canonverse so the reason for it was they were both plague doctors. but still.)

sensory description is big in this fic and i love it. also the different kind of levels of mental awareness, going from kinda sixth sense for heartbeats stuff in the beginning then going into the full on psychic bond by the end? chef's kiss. i got a chance to use sooo many tasty words.

“Even before you knew what I am. How many times have you offered up your neck for my teeth?” was the first line i had in mind for this fic. i mean you can see why. look at it.

ok if you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk, can you tell i had so much fun writing this

let me know if you enjoyed this rambling, i might write up some more thoughts on the other fics i've written recently! (they probably won't be anywhere near this long lmao i just have feelings)

[almostfoxglove]

hey there you enchantress of words and feelings

i am writing to you from the depths of a sleepless night (and extremely tired day at work with absolutely no regrets AT ALL would do it again no questions) spent rereading all of i’ll carry you and finishing the last chapter at the early hours of dawn with no one but the stark light of my humidifier to witness the tears rolling down my cheeks.

idek where to start? this was already one of my absolute favorite javi stories but now i think it might have just beat that to become the eternal javi story etched into the grooves of my brain.

i cried for her and her shattered heart that only has the strength to put itself back together for him. i cried for her and her shattered heart each time it thought it was done breaking for him. i cried for her and her shattered heart when it was finally settling (only settling because it would never beat for anyone else but him) for another soul even tho it wasn’t made to fit with another. i cried for her and her shattered heart when it saw him again and realized he would continue to shatter her every day now that he’s tangible again.

and then i read his pov (that i had put aside until this final chapter was released) and cried all over again for him and his shrinking heart that only unfurled in her presence. i cried for every time he came close to presenting his gentle heart at the pedestal of her but never actually did. i cried for all the years, days, and minutes that they were so close yet so far and not even the strongest forces could either bring them together or pull them away from the gravity of each other.

i cried because, i consider myself somewhat of a “late bloomer” - in my early twenties without much to show for romantic entanglements. not to say i haven’t loved because i have but never in a soul-shattering way. and i have cried many times for all that time that seems to have passed without my heart knowing where to put all that love it carries so easily. so reading about these two and how they find each other even after everything that has passed was almost like that weighted blanket that pulls javi under the depths of sleep. this story was that weighted blanket that gently enveloped my weary heart and slowly lulled it to sleep.

ANYWAY (jesus get a grip woman) i apologize for all this rambling. i just didn’t know where to put all these feelings that have been swimming through me all day, at work, hours after i read the last line. this story has taken up a special place in my heart and i will be revisiting as many times as i need to be enveloped by the love of these characters and lulled into a sense of security.

thank you for sharing this beautiful and soul warming piece of art with us and thank you for sharing all your scribblings with the world 🤍

i’m sure i’ll have more to say but for as of right now i’m gonna continue thinking about these two for as long as i can.

p.s. after reading the javi pov drabble i couldn’t help but wonder if you’ve thought about his pov for more situations? like when he leaves that second time (for four years) and when he pretends not to see her after the wedding dress day or any other times. i would love to keep swimming through his pov!

oh my god anon you're making me cry into my coffee rn (tears of LOVE) - I cannot believe how thoughtful and generous this is of you to write / send. speaking of enchanter of words & feelings hello?? this ask is poetry?? I am so fucking touched that you were so touched by I'll carry you - that series has been my favorite to work on so it just means so much that it's close to your heart, too.

I'm so glad that despite all it's angst (sorry to javi I swear you're my favorite pedro boy baby idk why I put you through the wringer with this one) that it's still a comfort to you?? like that's actually gonna make me full on weep to think about I'm so fucking honored <3

re: more javi pov - I am... certainly not opposed to this >:-) I've got a bunch in my writing queue that'll have to come first but I do intend to come back to these two in one shots in the future, sooooo I'm popping this in my ideas doc :,) I'm really so touched that you'd want to read more from them (sobsobsob)

thank you so much for reading & being so fucking sweet to me. I love you sm anon - I'm holding ur hand through the internet right now, ok? you're a fucking gem x

[dreaming-soundly]

Random Universe Idea that popped into my head

There's a friend group where one of the friends is immortal One day after one of the friends gets into a life-threatening accident(he survives though) the immortal one breaks down It freaks the others out because the immortal one is very calm and stoic 24/7 and even though they obviously like the group they're a bit distant (the others assume they're just not used to mortals like them, but they don't care and include and treasure Immo anyways) It turns out Immo wasn't always that distant, but they've watched those they care about pass on so many times it broke something in them, and they were attracted to the group and couldn't keep themselves away but they wanted to keep their emotions shut down so badly because they didn't want to lose people they cared about again (It didn't work, they cared so, so much and now they were going to have to watch their loved ones pass away again) Immo can't die, they're a true immortal and after nearly watching one of their friends die they kinda shut down in depression (later it is revealed by the friend that nearly died that although Immo didn't say((and assumed that guy forgot)) they saved him from the near death and they were in tears hyperventilating before running away after dropping him off at the hospital) So the group of friends decides enough is enough they can't allow their friend to be hurt like that so they go on a quest to get themselves immortality too

Kinda a twist on the villains big evil journey to become immortal

Plot twist; Although they were already long Immortal at the time, Immo has come across this friend group before (They, just like basically every other soul, reincarnate. Its just a thing that exists, I might go further in the world building later, however just keep in mind that souls are a thing, they reincarnate, and some beings can sense souls. It's not an immortality thing though, and if you have enough aptitude you can be taught, not matter what species((yes there is a soul-sensing goose, no I will not eleborate))) They're not always in the same country, or circle, or age-group, ethnicity or anything like that but whenever they meet they're always friends (Its weird to even them because sometimes it's a 6y/o girl being bff's with this kinda creepy 21y/o or this bubbly 23y/o himbo being the best friend of this 87y/o harsh veteran) They're not always born in the same time but when they are all born together, no matter how unlikely it seems and no matter how far apart they will always meet and Immo will never be able to stop themselves from meeting the group They never remember anything though, which hurts a lot, and also makes stuff a tad uncomfortable, because even though they accept anything about the others and don't really question each others shit, sometimes Immo mentions something that happened in a previous time, and then shuts down because they don't want to replace their friends by these are their friends in a way(?) Even though they don't remember and it just hurts So overtime Immo because very stoic and reserved and silent to the point of developing both slight haphephobia and touch starvation and just overall the big sad

I'm planning on having the group mostly have a different type of immortality (some will be connected though) and there will be one that will reincarnate with memories but still die

The others, unlike Immo, also won't be true immortals, not really

More later probably

Ask questions if you have them I might answer

Also, spelling mistakes? Probably, I am very tired, this is a late night ramble

[valcuda]

- Late Night Project

Quinton staying up late at night with Jasmin, as she works on a project for school.

- Regularly Scheduled Ramblings

This started because I decided to model Jasmin's laptop. That then became me wanting to show off the laptop model! Which is how I came up with this scene! Which doesn't show off the laptop model!

Anyway, here's a fun fact about Jasmin! She's a tech geek! This is a holdover from Junk-Watt's story, as Jasmin had to be good with tech at a young age for the story to even start. I decided to keep this part of her character, cause you typically think of tech geeks as males, but anyone can be one! So I think this just adds a bit of uniquity to her character.

You might also notice, Jasmin's using Linux! That screenshot was a fucking nightmare to take, cause I use Windows. So I had to spin up a VM, get Gnome installed, set "Selfie in the Grass" as the wallpaper, figure out something to put on the screen (I posed them before taking the screenshot), take it, and transfer it back to my host. That took multiple hours to do, and was SO much harder than you'd expect for some reason! I fucking hate Linux, and this whole experience made me realize why other artists don't typically make computer screens the focus of an image.

-

Anyway, from the start, I knew I wanted to compare Quinton's size to the laptop. My first idea was having Quinton, Elizabeth, and Jasmin, all watching a video on the laptop, with Quin and Liz sitting on it. However, I then thought of showing Jasmin typing, so I could have some keys pressed down. When I was posing Jasmin, I then thought of her programming something, and using the track pad to look at documentation, so that's what I posed her for.

I then decided to have Quinton sitting between her hands, since her right hand ended up being where I wanted him initially, watching the laptop screen. His pose ended making him look a bit tired though, so I decided to set it at night.

-

The reason there's a Depth of Field effect, is because I was messing around with doing 360 renders, and while doing so, I realized your brain just kind of expects DOF when distant objects are involved. Without it, distant things don't look very distant, even if viewed in 3D.

So I decided, whenever the camera is meant to be like Quinton's POV, I'm going to use DOF, just to ensure that sense of scale isn't lost.

-

Now then! The laptop itself!

This is what it looks like! I was lazy, and instead of making the keyboard texture in a graphics program, I exported the UV map, and drew every key! My in-universe explanation for the keycaps, is that Jasmin decided to draw them all, then got them custom made. (Also, windows key is replaced with a spool, cause Jasmin uses the fictional "Spool Linux")

The laptop is loosely based on a Latitude E6500, as I knew I wanted it to be a bit chunky. I universe though, it's a far more modern, and powerful laptop. The sides were unfortunately WAY too detailed for me to comfortably model, so I decided to just not model anything on them for some reason, though I do plan to add USB ports at some point!

-

I definitely like how this render came out! With the others, I mostly knew how I wanted them before even starting, but with this, I was just doing everything as it came up. Don't expect another render to have the laptops screen as the main focus though.

Anyway, that's all for now!

[ekebolou]

The Substack is Live

Heya friends

So the substack now has the first five chapters of Kostas (starting here), all of Academy Days: Arrival (starting here), and one bit of personal rambling! Which I'll also just post below the cut.

I've decided I'll go back to my roots and publish Kostas serially, but wanted to give you enough of something to go on, so first five chapters are up. Maybe I'll get tired of it (I love/hate routine!) and go on a spree eventually, because there's 46 chapters, but for now I thought it might be nice to have some dependable material to look forward to each week.

Publishing serial-fashion also provides me a basis for pushing myself to write something about process each week, which is honestly probably good for my health. I used to do it a lot more, but it's felt sort of extraneous lately, so it'll be nice to share thoughts again (I say, petrified of sharing thoughts). No promises on quality.

Anyway, this'll be on the substack too, under Assorted Ramblings, because I'm not exactly sure how on-theme I'll be. In true old-school internet goblin fashion, I've just typed it the fuck up in the editor, no drafts no gods no masters, so expect whatever that means for style and comprehension.

I'll get all the side stories up and some of the other material like Tenor Group on there probably starting next week (it's controlled compulsion, right? Gotta space it out or I'll end up down a burnt-out rabbit hole). I'm trying to keep as non-annoying as possible, which means I'm hopeful there will be enough interest that it will be shared word of mouth, and those interested are welcome to subscribe, but hopefully won't be bothered with a million emails or anything. I can't vouch for substack itself, but I'm going to try to keep it to notifications of posts and that's it. I don't even know what else you would want to know about it.

Check below the cut for the sort of sample dumbassery you can expect from the Assorted Ramblings, including a brief story about what happened when I had my first irl friend read the manuscript! (it wasn't great)

Hello and welcome, I suppose, though there is a welcome page somewhere. This is an inaugural post in what I hope will be series of posts about, generally speaking, my writing, world building, and other, loosely-associated things.

These are generally off the cuff. But, honestly, so is most of this stuff - that’s part of what makes it fun. Needless to say, I wouldn’t take any of this as advice, exemplar, or dictum. I just like this stuff and my liking of stuff can sometimes have the air of method but it’s really just loosey-goosey, this is what happened here, not a place of honor stuff.

And speaking of advice, exemplar, and dictums…

The original title of the original file of the original story-that-would-become Kostas is titled ‘never finish’ (dot odt, I think… I can’t recall but it may have gone back to my WordPerfect days). It more or less, quite seriously, ‘came to me in a dream’, which doesn’t make it more valid or good - my dreams can be vivid shit - but did make it compelling, as it was so complete. Not the plot (fuck me, it’s never the plot), but the concept. The concept is essentially a bundle of tropes, so that makes sense, but still: very vivid, very compelling. Very much not what I wanted to write or what I was writing at the time or what I imagined myself being comfortable with writing in the future. But too much to not write it down so I did and thought maybe it would exorcise itself from my skull.

It did not.

And there was an inherent challenge in it that I should have realized would be too provoking to ignore.

Anyway, many permutations of it and life later, I thought, yeah, fuck it, let’s try to actually publish it. You wrote it, it’s novel length (absurdly over that, actually), let’s do it.

There’s a lot of writing advice out there, and a lot of publishing advice, and they’re two different things. And the thing about publishing is that you’re asking the carnies for tips on how to win the carnival games (Nothing against carnival folk or publishing people, both are lovely). Obviously my advice and perspective there isn’t useful, but I did come around to the idea that it wasn’t doing anything to actually build my skills in the ways I wanted them built and the prize was actually quite shit (fun shit? possibly! fun games? sometimes! Worth it? YMMV). Lots of things are like that.

One of the first things I did was get a friend to read the manuscript. My first venture out of the safely anonymized and largely self-selecting audience the stories had online, and an incredible risk, in my eyes. One I knew I had to be ready to take, for sure, but nonetheless.

If not the first sentence, then somewhere in the first paragraph or so, I used a perfectly cromulent word. I don’t remember what it was - it’s fallen out of the text since then, but some real Victorian doozy of a descriptor. A real word, natch, but a humdinger of English vocabulary. The suggestion to remove that word - which I resisted, it was the right word, you see - was the only thing my friend had to say. After that, my friend redirected to watching a piece of media they particularly enjoyed and had wanted to show me, and the meeting ended (as did any interest in that piece of media, an unfortunate side effect of how underwhelmingly terrible this first venture had gone).

In terms of writing critiques for the ages, this doesn’t even chart, but it did solidify something for me in the sea of crap (it’s not all crap) advice for writers I was swimming in at the moment.

The readers are either on board, or they’re not, and the sooner you can let them figure that out, the better. That’s what a whole chunk of writing advice out there is trying to get you to do. All this stuff about ‘no prologues’ (I have a prologue), ‘start in the middle of excitement, action’, ‘draw the reader in’ etc etc, is not because the advice works somehow, but because it gets people to that ‘on board or not’ question faster, and for the most part, the aim of published writing is to get people on board.

And, look, there’s a lot of good reasons to do that, and it can absolutely be good, productive, non-cynical advice. But if they’re not on board, fuck ‘em (that is very much not what the writing advice is leading you to).

That is, I realized, that this was the story. That didn’t mean it was some of kind pure muse-puke being fed to me baby-bird-like, or unchangeable - after all, the ‘right’ word did eventually fall out, though I think I held onto it for a bit out of sheer stubbornness, and the first chapter of Kostas is, indeed, a fine distillation of dropping readers in the middle of the action - but, you’ll also notice, that almost nothing like that happens again until the climax of the story.

There is totally a mass-market publishable version of this story in there, a version that might’ve kept my friend’s attention for more than a millisecond, but that wasn’t what I had done or what I was interested in doing with it. You can win a game of horseshoes in your backyard and fuck up the ringtoss at the fair. I was interested in using Kostas to learn about writing and get better at it. It was, essentially, a challenge to myself (had been, from the get-go, to write in a genre I was neither comfortable with nor writing in at the time, but which I had this idea for). What the first chapter (or prologue, actually, because there’s a prologue, y’all) had to do was not get the readers on board, but let them figure out if they could withstand the story for the long haul. Because it’s not a military action story, it’s melodrama in uniform. That perfectly cromulent word was perfectly cromulent. It didn’t make it to the final drafts because it wasn’t elegant.

I wrote the prologue after, read a bunch of self-serious horseshittery about ‘any submission with a prologue I throw in the trash’ and did what I was going to do anyway (and probably ended up in the trash!)

And all of this is in reflection of finally re-reading this thing for the first time in a few years and going ‘oh holy fuck, did you overdo this?’ I mean, damn. “Regret was a luxury of peace, and Cole knew they warred still” - who talks like that? Holy shit. “He did not carry the burden of preferring humility” - well, actually, that’s a good bit of characterization. There is no ‘blessed are the humble’ here.

Actually, no, I did write it that way on purpose.

That opening image, of the bloody leaves - it’s exaggerration. We’re not talking shell warfare here. People aren’t getting annihilated by artillery. It’s psychological. It’s the peak of a peak of absorbing, personal, ever-present violence. It’s how it feels, and has felt for so long it’s like nature, and this arrogant creature is of it, and it’s all coming headlong to an end, and like a cat overshooting its bowl he’s about to faceplant into a wall.

The audience needs to get really hard into it at the highest pitch and feel it abruptly end. And if you can’t withstand “the mist rising” and “ponderous leaves” and “Cole knew they warred still” you’re not going to like the story. Because the major emotional moments hinge on high melodrama, and you’ve got to at least be into it a little. So while hopefully there’s some narrative variety (there’s got to be, the fucker in interminably long), the first chapter puts on display the key kinds of things the reader will need to put up with to get into it. And maybe they won’t, and it’ll be a classic wallbanger (though for the sake of your digital devices, I hope not), but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Anyway, it’s also serial fiction - that’s why it’s so long - and not a novel, and maybe that’s what I’ll talk about next time, since I’ve opted to re-post it in that way to try to review the story’s best sides, so to speak. Or maybe I’ll just post a bunch of pictures of temperate broadleaf forest biomes and talk about trees. who knows.

[wildflower-rain]

long post with just my musings about nothing. more a journal entry than anything else. all lighthearted stuff.

dont know if im in a mood but im considering stepping away from this blog and the internet in general for a bit.

been on here to much lately or something plus some other stuff. idk i may disappear briefly.

hesitant to do so because i think my unintentional attempt to keep stuff in this blog's queue is why my brain hasn't just rejected it. like thats not a big consideration point but it is there.

tbf there aren't many points here at all. i just kind of started thinking about this like two hours ago so yk, i may wake up and forget i said anything.

been less engaged in some ways anyway. and more in others. been on here for long periods but i normally try add a bit of commentary in the tags if only for my own memory and amusement. but i haven't seen much that ive really wanted reblog to begin with and ive had nothing to say about anything. also as i think i said in the last two posts here now i just dont have anything to say at the moment. nothing understandable and shareable at least. got real life stuff happening too. had a lot of work to do. and a lot of stress. not actually that much stress probably , not compared to normal because like every situation is a high stress situation to me. just how i work. but i may well be forgetting how stressed i've been. i'm not sure.

idk. this blog does help me sort out my brain some. which is a point to the the other side. this post is basically a journal entry. and thats really how i use this blog most of the time. rambling about random stuff. its more consistent than any journal i've kept or have tried to keep. wondering if it would be unreasonable to make a private sideblog to actually just use as a journal because apparently tumblr gets the thoughts out of me.

i should make a journal tag. maybe. i don't know. for some reason i have more faith in tumblr not losing all my stuff than my other digital note taking and journal stuff. and generally i think better in typing. i do have a physical journal. i just don't think as freely in it, my hand gets cramped or i cant write fast enough for my thoughts. so i like digital stuff. and apparently my brain sees tumblr as more likely to not lose my stuff and die than anywhere else. at least out of places that i like the format of. don't like the idea of dumping this all in a word doc for some reason. it would make more sense. i could stick things on a usb but no, instead here i am with my billion word tumblr post that anyone can see. maybe ill start copying things into word docs after the fact idk.

i dont know why im so afraid that all my shit will be deleted. i really havent lost that much digital stuff over the years, nothing important to me i dont think. not accounts, not saved info, not my own pieces of stuff.. maybe one or two things i dont remember. i dont know why i just dont trust stuff to not get lost becuase of some screw up. idk. its 3:30am i'm going to sleep now. i had more work to do but im tired and i need to do more stuff tomorrow so i might as well get some sleep.

goodnight tumblr. or goodmorning or whatever time it is when this gets released, imma queue it.

[thesafecafe]

Hi, not a request, just popping in to like...vent? I guess. I'm not a Desi atiny so my opinion isn't really important here in the grand scheme but I am feeling bad because the situation is so sucky. I feel for our Desi friends because, as a black person, this situation has happened countless times. Desi atinys deserve several apologies and it's up to them whether those suffice or not.

But at the same time, I'm so tired, you know? Like sick and tired of being sick and tired? I just want to like a group and be able to stan them no problems but, inevitably, that becomes impossible and then I end up feeling guilty for liking them, or being upset, or even not wanting to be upset because I'm just tired of it all.

I guess I just wanted to know how you were feeling.

Of course, feel free not to answer this if you don't feel like it.

Have a good day.

Friend, Idk how I didn't see this ask, but dw!

And yes, they deserve apologies! I hate that this happened, it's legitimately one of the worst feelings in the world when something like this happens, especially from a supposed to be safe space for, and I hope they get the apology, and corrected behavior, that they deserve! And songs like that should be banned anyway, cause literally what the hell possessed the creator to make it in the first place 🤨?

I know how you feel though. I have been in that place where you feel guilty for liking a group, and being tired of the consistent disappointment somewhere. It was one reason I fell out of some groups, because it's like, you don't feel safe, valued, nor seen, and it's like when does it stop, yk? Like, certain groups I interact with from a distance, because I don't hate them, I just didn't feel like I was welcome.

As for how I feel, I was, and am, very disappointed. It hasn't affected me as badly as it would have though, because I think I kind of detach very easily, and tend to only interact with certain content for my own mental health; like, I know they're Ateez, and are known for being less/unproblematic, but I also constantly remind myself that they, and others, probably didn't always harbor the more open ideals and attitudes that they show us, and won't be unproblematic forever.

I try to think of it like "would they be so open if they were just normal people living in Korea" or would they be less ashamed of/feel the need to apologize if they weren't in the limelight, etc. That's not to say they aren't open minded and willing to learn in their daily/personal lives, (and they SHOULD be, seeing as they have a global fan base and know that other cultures exist around the world), but I try and make myself remember that they WILL mess up at some point so I'm not as hurt by their actions, (not that they're right, nor am I excusing the behavior), but especially with being taught that it's okay all your life and living in a homogeneous country with no one of a different ethnicity actively saying "that's not right, this is disrespectful" etc.

But not researching or thinking about how it might affect the people that watch you, look up to you, and support you is definitely something they shouldn't have done. Whether in the public eye or not, they should learn (especially now), apologize, and grow from their mistakes; and I also really hope that they do the right thing and give Desi Atiny the apology they deserve!

(I hope this ramble made sense, it's late and I need to sleep)

[pochipop]

Hi! May I request a BNHA character headcanon of them reacting to Y/N getting locked out of her dorm room and coming to them to ask to stay with them for the night? If yes, thank you soooo much!! And I'd love it if you could include Izuku, Bakugo, Tenya, Shinso, Shoji, and Shihai! - 🦑

“ BNHA !! ” 🏷️— LOCKED OUT OF YOUR DORM ROOM.

＃CHARACTERS! —IZUKU, BAKUGO, TENYA, SHINSO, SHOJI, SHIHAI.

＃CONTENT WARNING(S)! — NONE.

＃MASTERLIST! — HERE.

＃ALT ACCOUNTS! — @yyolkchi (spam/sketch posting account!) & @ddollipop (mature fic account!)

𖦹. ━ IZUKU !!

Izuku stares at you in surprise when you knock on his dorm room door late at night. It's a few minutes from curfew, and his first line of thought is that something has gone wrong.

"Y/n?" He tilts his head to one side, "is everything okay?"

Physically, sure, everything is fine, ―nothing life threatening is happening, there's no intense dangers lurking around the corner as far as you know, and no risk is being posed to your life as of now. But a silly mistake of yours has rendered you bedless for the night, and at the risk of looking like an idiot, you've gone to Izuku to seek some refuge from the dorm halls.

Sleeping on the ground outside your room doesn't seem like very much fun.

"More or less," you rub the back of your neck awkwardly, "I just. . . Did something kind of stupid, and I need your help."

"If I can, you know I will!" He assures you, in typical Izuku Midoriya fashion, and you have to keep yourself from grinning, "―but, maybe we should wait until morning to talk about it. I don't want either of us getting in trouble for breaking curfew."

"That's the thing," you fiddle with your thumbs, "I actually um. . . Locked myself out of my dorm room, and I came here to ask if it would be okay to stay with you for the night?"

His emerald eyes widen in surprise. Whatever he'd been expecting you to say, that hadn't been on the long list of possibilities. Not that it's an inherently outlandish request, he just hadn't expected something like that from you.

"Won't we get in trouble for that?" He asks, "―maybe we should just go and tell Mr Aizawa about this, I'm sure he'll be able to help!"

"I thought about that, but I feel bad interrupting his personal life like that. He always looks so tired during the day, it feels wrong to make a fuss over this when I can wait until morning to ask instead," you explain.

"Oh. . . Yeah, that makes sense," Izuku agrees, "but oh! Maybe I can use my quirk to break the lock on your door!"

He holds his fist with a confident smile, and you take a small step back.

"I-I appreciate the offer, really, but that seems like it'd do a lot more harm than good. Plus, the noise would probably send everyone into a panic, especially with everything our class has been through this past month. . ." you trail off.

"Right," he nods, ". . . then, I guess this should be fine. It's not like we're doing anything bad, and we'll go straight to Mr Aizawa in the morning!"

"Straight there, promise!" You nod, and Izuku steps aside so you can enter his dorm.

It's not the first time you've ever been in his room, but it is the first time past curfew, and somehow, that gives it a totally different vibe. You glance around at his massive collection of All Might items, from posters, to action figures, to DVDs. It's odd, of course, but it's endearing to you nonetheless. You recall he was embarrassed and flustered over you seeing it the first time, but now, he seems to have mellowed out almost completely.

"So um. . . How should we do this? I don't have any extra blankets, but it's not very cold tonight, so I could do without one. Thankfully, I've got plenty of pillows, though! If I sleep on the floor, you can keep the blanket on the bed, ―I'd rather not have it get dirty anyway," he rambles a bit.

"No, I'm the one inconveniencing you! I'll take the floor, no worries about that, and I don't mind not having a blanket for the night," you insist.

Izuku frowns.

"That wouldn't make me a very good friend, and I'm sure my mom would scold me for letting any guest sleep on the floor," he tells you.

"It's okay! It's my fault for locking myself out of my room like an idiot," you assure him, "I'm just thankful you're letting me sleep in here with you at all. I can't imagine the way Bakugo would make fun of me if he saw me sleeping in the hall. . ."

Eventually, the two of you reach a conclusion. Neither of you sleep on the floor, ―instead, you share Izuku's bed, but agree to keep your backs turned to one another and not cross the imaginary line drawn down the middle of the mattress. Before drifting off, you thank him again for letting you stay here, and he says goodnight before closing his eyes.

𖦹. ━ BAKUGO !!

Bakugo is annoyed when he opens the door to see you standing there, and you instantly regret coming to him of all people. This was probably a bad choice, you acknowledge, but you'd been hoping he would take some pity on you in a way the rest of the class wouldn't. He's always stood out to you as someone whose actions speak much louder than their words, ―despite how high his volume seems to always be.

"What do you want?" He grumbles, voice hoarse, much gruffer than usual, "don't you know what time it is?"

"I'm sorry for bothering you," you apologize, "I know it's late."

"Not sorry enough to not do it," he says, wearing his irritation on his. . . Arm, you suppose, because he's shirtless at the moment, so there's no sleeve to wear it on.

"Just tell me what you need, or go away and let me go to bed."

He's just as blunt as ever.

"I locked myself out of my dorm room," you tell him, and it comes as no shock to you that he bursts into laughter at your admission.

You stare at the floor as he cackles at your expense. It's funnier to him than you'd expected it to be, but you only have yourself to blame, really. You're the one that came to him, knowing exactly how he is, after all. It's not like you have the right to complain, although he could certainly stand to be less of a dick about this.

"That's hilarious," he says when his laughter finally dies down and his usual scowl returns to his face, "but what exactly do you want me to do about that? Blast the door down for you?"

"N-No!" You quickly shake your head, "that just turns one issue into another. I came here to ask if you'd let me spend the night in your dorm until I can get help from Mr Aizawa in the morning. . ."

This might have been a big mistake, actually. You're kicking yourself for it by the time Bakugo heaves a heavy sigh.

"It's not like I can leave you out here," he says matter-of-factly.

Your eyes widen as he moves to the side to let you in.

"Don't just stand there," he snarls, "get in here before I change my mind."

You do. He rolls his eyes and mumbles "yeah yeah," when you thank him. Stepping over a weight he left sitting in the middle of the floor, you nearly fall over it backwards when he decides to throw a pillow at you from across the room.

"There's a spot on the floor," he points, "now go to sleep. Don't expect any more hospitality."

With no other options, you do as he says. The floor is hard, of course, and your back will probably feel this night for a few days, but it's better than nothing. At least he gave you a pillow. . . Thankfully, after ten minutes of tossing and turning periodically on the floor, he caves and tells you to just get on the bed, insisting that it's only because you're annoying him with the movement. He warns that if you touch him, he'll blast you into another dimension entirely, ―but that's fine. His bed is a lot more comfortable, and he's a lot cuter when he's not screaming. You could almost fall for him.

𖦹. ━ TENYA !!

Tenya is quick to lecture you as soon as he opens his door and sees you standing in the hall.

"Do you know what time it is?" He questions, "we only have a few minutes until curfew, and it's doubtful now that you'll be able to make it all the way back to your own dorm room before then. As the representative of class 1A, I can't allow you to ignore the rules, and―"

"I locked myself out of my room," you interrupt his speech, a hefty blush tinting your cheeks as he silences himself for a few moments and lets your words sink in.

"That. . . Is an unfortunate situation," he replies, tone switching from authoritative to empathetic, "although I'm not sure what to do with that information. It would be inappropriate to interrupt Mr Aizawa at this hour, and opening the door ourselves would more than likely cause a lot of ruckus, which also goes against the rules for the dorms past curfew. . ."

"I know," you tell him, "―which is why I came here, to ask if you'd let me stay the night with you."

Tenya's eyes widen at your request. He blushes, ducking his head in hopes you won't see it, clearing his throat to keep his voice from breaking the next time he speaks.

"I see," he states, and an awkward silence follows.

"I'm sorry," you apologize, "I. . . I probably shouldn't have asked you this, I just didn't know who else to turn to this late."

"No, I assure you, there's no need to apologize, you did the right thing. As the class representative, it's my job to take care of things like this when I'm capable of doing so," he tells you, which eases your nerves a bit.

He thinks for a minute longer before coming to a decision.

"Come in," he concludes, "you can sleep here for the night, and then I'll report everything to Mr Aizawa first thing in the morning. It may be a bit irresponsible of me to allow this, but it would be far crueler to turn you away."

You thank him as you step inside, stifling a giggle at his extensive collection of glasses. He's doing you a solid favor, after all, so now isn't the time to be poking fun at him. Maybe in the future, though.

"How exactly did you manage to lock yourself out of your room, anyway?" He asks as he closes the door behind you.

"I'm not even sure," you admit, "I went outside for a bit to get some air, and when I came back inside, I realized the door had locked behind me, and I didn't have my key on me."

"In the future, I'd suggest carrying your key with you whenever you leave the room in case of circumstances like this," Tenya notes.

"I'll definitely be keeping it with me from here on out, don't worry about that. Lesson learned, I promise," you assure him.

"Well then. . . Should we lie down for the night? Tomorrow morning is likely to be busy for you," he notes.

"And for you," you quip guiltily, "―and I'm sorry in advance."

He brushes it off.

"Don't worry about that, I wake up early every morning. It would be shameful for me to ever turn up to class late."

Unsurprisingly, Tenya is a true gentleman. He makes sure to tell you that he'll stay on one side of the bed, and when he portions his blanket between the two of you, he makes sure you've got more than him. Before handing you a pillow, he fluffs it up. The way he whispers sweet dreams is almost too much for your heart to handle. . . And for a moment, you consider ways to lose your key just to wind up here again in a few days time.

𖦹. ━ SHINSO !!

Shinso's expression is majoritively unreadable when he cracks his door open and spots you standing in the hall outside. Internally, his heart skips a little beat and confusion thrums through his veins, but he's. . . Excited, dare he admit, to see you here so late at night. He suspects you're the only person who'd have enough of a gall to do something like this.

". . . need something?" He inquires, raising an eyebrow.

His voice is as monotone as always, but on the inside, he's a much different person. Almost like a small child, curious and careful.

"Yeah um. . . It's a little embarrassing, but I was hoping you could do me a favor?" You request, and Shinso cocks his head to the side in inquiry.

"A favor?" He asks, "―what kind of favor?"

You're not exactly giving him much to go off of here, although he can sense that you're truthful about the fact that it's embarrassing. The way you're struggling to meet his eyes properly is more than enough of a hint.

"Well, see, the thing is that I somehow locked myself out of my dorm room, and I was wondering if you'd let me. . . Sleep here with you for the night?"

Your request shocks him to the core. He's never exactly seen himself as the type of person that anyone could come to for things of this nature, —nonetheless you. His mask of stoicism slips for the moment, and his lips part in surprise.

"You. . . You want to sleep here, with me?" He asks

He's not making this easy on you. You swallow down your pride and speak up again in reply, even though you wish you could sink into the ground and disappear right about now.

"If you're okay with that," you clarify, "but if you're not I. . . I understand why, and that's fine too."

Shinso's still working through his own shock, and he doesn't have the sense in the moment to pick up on the desperation and twinges of shame that entwine with the words you speak.

When he doesn't say anything, you back away from him further.

"I'm sorry," you apologize, "I shouldn't have asked this of you. I'm gonna go try to pick the lock again, hopefully that'll pan out in the end or something—"

"No!" He cuts you off so unexpectedly that it startles you, and you flinch before him, which he scolds himself for.

"Sorry, no, I didn't mean to raise my voice, I just. . ."

His words trail off, but after a deep breath, he finds his way. Or, he finds what he can only hope are the right words.

"You can stay the night," he says, "it's no trouble. I'm just not used to people relying on me, so when I realized you'd come to me out of everyone else, I was a little dazed. And I still am, but that's not important, so just come inside. My room is a little messy though."

He's at a loss as to why you'd come to him over anyone else. Midoriya, the ever-helpful boy he is, seems like a perfect candidate to Shinso, —far better than him. Iida as well, so reliable and always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need. Kirishima even, so kind and compassionate, ready to give anyone a smile and word of encouragement at any given moment. . . So why him?

Shinso wonders that for the rest of the night, but he never does ask. Instead, he makes sure you're comfortable and watches as you fall asleep, sparing glances your way throughout the night whilst he struggles to let sleep overtake him. He thinks to himself that you look so peaceful when you're resting, and he can't help but wonder what you're dreaming of. But come morning, he doesn't ask about that either.

𖦹. ━ SHOJI !!

Shoji panics a bit when he opens his door and sees you standing before him. The two of you are friends, of course, but he's always sensed that there was an unacknowledged distance between himself and you that was just. . . Understood. He's always felt that there were invisible lines he couldn't cross, as well as ones he needed to read between. This, however, seems to be in total opposition to that. You're here in front of him at this hour, and he's just trying to keep it together.

"Is something wrong, y/n?" Shoji asks.

"Ah, well, I guess you could put it like that," you answer with an awkward accompanying laugh, "I'm sorry for bugging you so late at night."

"That's okay," he assures you, "what happened? You're not hurt, right?"

He doesn't see any injuries on you, —your clothes aren't dirty nor disheveled, your body language seems at least semi-relaxed, and with all of that noticed, he comes to the conclusion that, whatever it is that's happening, it's probably not dangerous.

"No, not at all," your words confirm his suspicions and ease his heart all the same, "I just made a stupid mistake, and I need to ask someone for a favor, so. . . Here I am."

Your wary smile tells him that it took a lot of courage for you to do this, and even more so, you seem exhausted to him. Whatever's going on, he's more than willing to help.

"Ask away, if there's anything I can do for you, I'll certainly try my best," he tells you.

"Somehow, I ended up locking myself out of my dorm," you admit, embarrassing as it is to do so, "and I don't want to bother anyone about it until morning. . . Other than you, I guess, which I'm still sorry about."

The look in his eyes tells you that you don't need to be. You still are, but the fact that he doesn't feel it's necessary is elating.

"All that being said, I came here to ask if I could stay with you for the night? I understand if you don't feel comfortable enough to say yes, but you were the only person I thought I could ask something like this of."

Shoji's a little stunned, but he agrees rather quickly nonetheless. He's sure you'd do the same for him if the shoe were on the other foot. Since the last time you saw his room, he's upgraded a bit. . . Not by much, per say, but anything is noticeable given the lackluster state of it previously. He has a nicely sized bed now, although it doesn't look like the most comfortable one you've ever seen, and a few books are lying in the corner of the room. You just hope they're for recreational reading and not studying, —it's clear that he deserves to indulge in a hobby or two.

He's a big guy, so it can't be helped that he nudges you a few times throughout the night. But, he always apologizes, even if you're fast asleep. Shoji is hyperaware of your presence and does his best to give you the space he feels you probably want. Crossing your boundaries is the last thing he'd want to do. You'd mind a lot less than he knows, but hey. . . That's a conversation for another time.

𖦹. ━ SHIHAI !!

Shihai does his best to cover up his nervousness when you knock on his door a few minutes before curfew. As much as he wants people to believe that his confidence has no limits, —it does, and they're far easier to reach than he'd ever feel comfortable letting on.

"Hey," he greets as casually as he can currently muster.

"Hey," you parrot, a little breathy in comparison, "are you busy right now or anything?"

He shakes his head, opening the door a little wider so that he can lean against the frame, hoping that will make him seem much more nonchalant than he feels.

"Nope. . . I was just getting ready for bed. Is there something you need?"

Here it comes, —the part you've been dreading the most since deciding to come to him for this. It's not that you fear he'll laugh at or mock you, but man. . . Admitting this mistake you've made to someone like him, who seems to have everything together, feels like a real blow to your ego. Even so, you still felt like he was the best option. He's a lot of things, and a hero is one of them, even if he hasn't officially been granted that title yet.

"This is a little embarrassing," you preface, "but uh. . . I locked myself out of my dorm room, and I need somewhere to sleep for the night. I was hoping you'd let me crash on your floor or something?"

The fact that you've come to him makes him feel a lot of different things at once, none of which he can accurately put a name to. All Shihai is sure of is that "crashing on his floor," as you put it, isn't exactly an option.

"Ah come on, the floor?" He gives you a small chuckle, hoping it sounds more charming than it feels as it erupts from the back of his throat.

"I have a bed, and it's plenty big enough for two. No need for you to wreck your back or anything."

You sigh in relief as he invites you inside. That went a lot better than you could have imagined, —although, in all fairness, you'd mostly been thinking of the worst-case scenarios in the first place. Shihai tries to keep up his facade as best he can manage. . . Maybe one day he'll let you see the vulnerable parts of him, let you see the little boy with big dreams and high hopes that lives inside him, —but today is not that day, and tonight is not that night.

He bristles when you turn in your sleep in the early hours of the morning. The top of your foot brushes his calf, and his heart croons. All of this is so sudden, and to him, it feels so intimate. Something about the feeling of your skin as it brushes against him so innocently, in a moment where you're so unaware that it's even happening. . . He resists the urge to sneak a peek at your face as you rest beside of him, comfortable enough to let your guard down when you're lying next to him. Instead, he resigns himself to this spot at your side, a few inches of space between his hand and yours, and he listens closely for the sound of your gentle breathing, allowing it to lull him to sleep.

[dairy-farmer]

Dick being so in denial over being in love with Tim. He's overprotective of him, holds his waist like a lover but shrugs when someone points it out. "It's always been like this." A bit weird, sure, but it's their thing? He rests his hands around Timmy's waist and kisses the back of his neck the way a husband would do his wife and rests his chin on top of Tim's head. It's a normal sight around Wayne Manor-- and Tim just melts in Dick's arms anyway, sighing over the comforting warmth.

Dick glares at any possible lover Tim brings over. A bitter taste on his tongue all the time-- "nobody's good enough for my little brother" Dick would mope to Jason or Babs every time Tim's dating someone or interested in someone.

They'd just raise a brow. "You don't care about who Damian dates?" They'd tell Dick. Dick would stutter each time, "Damian's different, he can--" a different excuse and reason every conversation.

Dick also mopes around every time Tim's not around. If he's in san fran with his team? Dick would suddenly have so much trouble working on a case, he *needs* to see Timmy. Bruce would raise a brow each time, tell him he could always come to him if he's having so much trouble and Dick would roll his eyes.

"The case is just a side thing B, I can also check if he's doing well or if he needs anything--" Dick goes on, rambling about everything Tim might need, as if he knew Tim like he knew the back of his hand. He knows every safehouse, every apartment, every corner Tim hides in. Dick knows when Tim isn't around the manor, Dick knows Tim's schedule. A tiny bit of stalking-- but it's because he's worried for his little brother!! Isn't he such a good big brother?

Anyway-- so one day Tim just does something. A small thing. A small Tim thing. He could've just paused on his walk across the hallway to Dick to look at the reflection of himself of a window and fluffed his hair up a bit, he could've just laughed over a joke Dick made, he could've just smiled at Dick. Point is-- Dick's just suddenly hit with the realization that he is in love with Tim.

It's crushing, it's terrifying, it's-- holy fuck, holy fucking batman, he's in love with his baby brother. It makes him wanna gag, it makes him shy, it maks him want to throw up, it makes him want to kiss Tim. Everything makes sense, the heavy feeling in his heart for every relationship Tim gets in, the relief he feels when Tim's crying onto his shoulder after every failed attempt in his love life, the way Dick just has to always know where Tim is-- who Tim is with-- has to always have Tim in his arms. It all makes... so much sense now. Holy batman he's in love with Tim.

He tries to fix it-- calling Tim his baby brother more often, (it doesn't work, it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue as if he ate sour candy but he smiles it off as Tim groans and pushes him off)

seeing Tim less, (that doesn't work either, it just made Dick more cranky around others until Tim called him one evening, lightly hiccuping and asking him if he'd done something wrong, "what did I do?" Tim sniffles through the phone, and Dick's never been a strong man against Tim.

He folds like an omellete. "Nothing. Nothing baby bird, I've just been busy lately. I have tomorrow free, we can spend the whole day together." Dick coos

"Promise?"

"I promise.")

He's even tried initiating a fight-- but how can he ever be mad at Tim and his pretty blue eyes? ("What's wrong?" Tim asks, brows furrowed and big eyes staring at Dick.

*Tell him. Tell him you're mad at him* "Nothing, Tim. I'm just tired." He can't. He can never be mad at Tim- never ever ever ever.

"Oh." Tim pouts, pretty pink lips puckered up like he was waiting for a kiss. All Dick needs to do is bend down and...

"Maybe a massage might help!" Tim smiles, pearly whites on full display for Dick. "All you need to do is lay down and let me work my magic."

And what was Dick supposed to do? Say no??? To *Tim*?)

Just-- Dick being in a dillemma over realizing he's in love with Tim 😔

yet another ask recovered!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ AND I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

like this dilemma that dick finds himself in, realizing he is deeply in love with his little brother. all these feelings he's had, all the 'strange' things people have seen him do in relation to tim!!!!!!!!!

these tentative steps he's taking to "fix" it because it's BAD that he's in love with tim. tim is his brother, he's known him since he was a child. and dick is too scared to really buckle down and try to figure out when exactly he started feeling this way for tim. when that feeling in his chest shifted to romantic. dick doesn't want to examine that, he doesn't want to poison his tenderest memories of tim like the two of them cuddling together for warmth in dick's apartment after his heater broke. he doesn't want to stain them with the fact that he'd been harboring romantic feelings for tim.

he doesn't want to know because part of him has always been relieved, happy, and excited to be around tim. dick is just so utterly aware of himself, he feels like a teenager in puberty just so uncomfortable in their own skin that they want to peel it off. he pays so much attention when people mention tim, when he sees him or hears him. dick has even once stopped while walking down the street because he spotted a newspaper with tim smiling as he cuts a ribbon to a new WE office in new york.

all of dick's attempts to distance himself from those feelings fail. they just hurt him too much or worse, they hurt tim!

dick being so startlingly aware of his feelings and trying not to give into the temptation of them, trying to scrub them away because they make him feel so guilty even though they make him feel good to. and it's just not feasible...for them to be together. not with how their relationship has been so far...not with how everyone would react. god, what would bruce say? jason? barbara? damian?

dick would cause so much turmoil to tim and the family if he ever admitted it.

but dick is selfish. he knows the right thing to do, the only way to fix this is to put distance between him and tim. but he's selfish. he wants to keep tim and the closeness they have even if its a bad idea.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just DICK!!! struggling so much!!! over being in love with tim!!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[pfreadsandwrites]

Romantic sex with Yamato Tenzou on honeymoon after wedding????

i'm so sorry, i think i saw this ask briefly when i was checking my phone during my trip, then promptly forgot all about it till I just saw the '1' in my inbox and was like hmm? whats that?? and THEN I REMEMBERED!

anyway! im not gonna write a fic, sorry if thats what you wanted, but that just isn't on the cards at the moment. So I don't really know what you want me to do with this beyond talking about it a little 😭 i'ma ramble and hope for the best.

Yamato definitely seems one for sensual, romantic, intimate sex more than anything else tbh, so I see honeymoon sex as the absolute epitome of that for him. Just filled with so much love and passion for his s/o. The first two ideas that came to me were:

a) sex on the beach. or, because, that's not very romantic in practice, sex at maybe a beach house or something? or after a night time walk alongside the beach (seriously nights by the beach are the most sexy times i swear). but maybe not sex on the literal beach cuz who wants sand in your orifices. not me.

b) ryokan! maybe the honeymoon is at an onsen. And just yeah you both are wearing yukatas and on futons and things get a little heated and it's very down to earth and very, very lovely. maybe a monkey steals your clothes. idk.

But yeah, I feel like the sex is slow, very slow, but lengthy and passionate. He'll be a little more... autonomous? Is that the right word? I just mean that he'll be a bit more zealous, a bit less being led along by his s-o, taking the lead? a bit? more than he does usually, but I just mean that generally, when the sex isnt super intimate or romantic, he tends to just get swept along by whatever his s/o wants. If that makes sense, lmao. I don't mean that he's necessarily a sub, he's just not the most... active guy in the world. But this is one of those instances where he really wants to show you what you mean to him, what this means to him, how happy he is to be married to you and how much he wants to give you an amazing time as opposed to having an amazing time together.

so yamato's thing is making you feel safe and protected whilst realising your own autonomy and independence at the same time? both inside and outside of the bedroom. Like he'll be there for you but you'll never have your own wants or needs compromised. That can be bad cuz it means he won't tell you about hsi wants or needs in the same way, and you might realise too late if you've been selfish. cuz, tbh, there will be times where you *should* have to compromise your wants in a marriage, but yamato'll try to avoid that for your sake to his own detriment.

some slightly more explicit hcs:

i feel like yamato is as sturdy as a literal tree and i feel like he would last for a hella long time... with the caveat that it's much harder when you're on top

he makes nice noises <3 they're deep and guttural.

lots of burying his face into your neck, and collarbone kisses etc when he's on top. very affectionate and passionate <33

he has a thing for nipple play, both giving and receiving

oral is his go to for foreplay

not very kinky, but i feel like he wouldn't be above using wood style in the bedroom. you may have to convince him a lil, tho

And that's it for now! Sorry these arent very good, a bitch is tired

[warwickroyals]

Okay, so earlier (technically it was yesterday for me) I asked where I should start reading your story. I then proceeded to not wait for an answer and start from the very beginning. I'm currently about to start page 19 in chronological order, and I am very much enjoying it.

Your writing is amazing, and so is your cinematography. Also, romance montages, my beloved. I am now fighting the urge to make one of my own sims. (Must fight the urge. So many spoilers.)

It's wild seeing how drastically Nick and Alex flip flop over time, especially having read your most recent posts. I'll be very curious to see this all play out.

Also, I love Phillip a lot, and I can't wait to see how everyone reacts to Jean being a part of his life. Cause she is amazing, and I love her. I understand both her and Phillip's sides at this point. Phillip has seen firsthand exactly what the press can do to people, so I totally get him not wanting to fuck Jean up like that, even if she thinks she wants it or thinks she can handle it. But on the other hand, he's very much pushing Jean away, which isn't fair to her. She wants to be a very serious and important part of his life, and he won't let her near the part of his life that has fucked him up the most.

Sorry for providing rambling commentary several months late, but I'm enjoying myself. I would really, really love to keep reading, but it's after 12:30 in the morning, I have an 8:30am class tomorrow (or rather, today), and I still have to take a shower. Was getting hooked on a sims story at 9pm a good idea? No. Did I do it anyways? Yes. Do I regret it? Currently no, but ask me again in the morning.

(Sorry, I'm rambly at the best of times, and even worse when tired.)

(Also, when I say "got hooked at 9pm", I did NOT read 18 pages in 3 hours. I only read like, 10-12 of them in 3 hours. :p)

Okay, I'm actually shutting the fuck up now!! I will hopefully finish tomorrow!!! I must be getting close now, seeing as the dates are only "two months ago".

OMG! No, never shut the fuck up! I love hearing all your thoughts, and it warms my heart whenever people engage with my writing like this. It's the best type of feedback. Thank you for all of the compliments and I'm glad that I've inspired someone in some way :)

Nick & Alex - I think they might just have the most complicated relationship out of all of my characters; they 100% are the most complex sibling relationship at least. I'm actually working on a scene between the two of them right now, and I think it's really amazing how jealousy is the driving factor for a lot of the hostility between the two brothers. Growing up, there has always been an underlying sense of bitterness and rivalry, but recently, especially after Margaux's birth, it's gotten out of control. Nicholas resents Alex because he thinks that he's irresponsible beyond reason, but he also envies Alex's position as second in line. It seems to him that Alex is constantly able to mess up without any meaningful consequences. Alex, on the other hand, thinks that Nick is too full of himself and that his being the heir has rotted his ability for empathy and understanding. Alex is also jealous of Nick being the older, more intelligent, brother. On top of the jealousy I think a lot of their current issues come from projecting their insecurities onto each other, especially when it comes to their relationships with their parents and women. They need to talk it out! Things will get better for them at some point but, as long as they refuse to communicate, it'll only get worse.

Phillip & Jean - I'm very glad people like Jean as much as I do because I wasn't sure about how she would be "received" if that makes any sense. Phillip in my opinion has always been paranoid, but a lot of his paranoia is validated by his life experiences like you said. As a child, he watched the media pressure destroy his mother's well-being; as an adult, it ruined his marriage. Even first-hand, a lot of his defining moments were him having to hide his mental illness and addiction struggles because of how exploitative the press was. So I understand how hard it would be for him to be publically in a relationship with Jean, someone who's so unconventional. But at the same time, like you said, it's not fair for Jean who also has abandonment issues of her own. I'm so glad that, in the time between Chapters 2.5 and 3 they've established a really strong relationship! Although they're not as prominent in chapter 3, there is a lot of conflict generated from their relationship and how both the press and family react to Jean as a permanent addition to Phillip's life. Their relationship is a really important element of the story.

Oh, boy, now I feel like I'm rambling, but I'm always down to ramble about my characters, so thank you for entertaining me for a little while. I can't wait to get to your other asks 😭