#anyway im uhhhhhhhh. NOT normal.

[auricfog]

tagged by @queennymeria, @imogenkol, @shellibisshe, and @statichvm to make some book covers with this template! decided to take this opportunity to be normal about my original universe 😳🩷

small handful of tags again but @risingsh0t, @loriane-elmuerto, @d-esmond, @jamessunderlandgf, @faerune, @florbelles, @unholymilf, @thedeadthree, @nokstella, @shadowglens, and ... you!

[hinamie]

i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception

[azurbee]

yeah, ive been consumed by the hyperfixation... Anyways this is Hugo and Fin, two traumatized idiots

Lore under cut

So like, obviously there would be several more experiments to lead to humans having gills and all that and Hugo and Fin ended up being some of the earlier experiments or maybe somewhere along the testing phases.

Basically these two were meant to be experiments that weren't expected to be used or work, thus the reason why Hugo is a manta ray and while manta rays can go beyond 1,000 meters, they still wouldn't really be able to go deeper than that. Fin had gone through the same experimentation as Hugo but from some reason nothing ever took effect which led the scientists to throw more shit at him for stuff.

Hugo and Fin were childhood friends before being sent to prison. However, Fin had a rather abusive family and Hugo constantly tried to get him to run away from them. Eventually, things got really bad, and Fin would've most likely been killed if Hugo hadn't stepped in and ended up killing Fins parents and so on. (yes this is the best reason I could come up with for sending them to jail hhhh) Hugo turned himself in but Fin felt so guilty with how much he had done for him that he also took the blame.

After Hugo fully turned into a manta ray he caught wind of how much more they're doing to Fin and he had enough of it. Since he was a bigger than normal manta ray he slowly built up as much electricity as he could to cause a power out so that way he has a chance to get to Fin and flee. He fought tooth and nail through the facility, but eventually he had to go through the vents with Fin because of the injuries he sustained.

more stuff happens they make it out and there only escape was into the facility in the game im tired

They're mainly just trying to survive in the facility while also trying to figure a way out without detection and the whole time Fin is notably sick from all of the experiments conducted on him and Hugo easily accepted his new body.

anyways uhhhhhhhh hope nothin bad happens :)

[corruptedplaylist]

act iii: final notes

edit: 4/9/2024: added some more stuff!!! i'll put this emoji 🫧 next to the new things so u know where to scroll.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I FINISHED MY FIRST FULL LENGTH FIC HOLD ON LEMME JUST THROW UP IN THE CORNER REAL QUICK

i am sooooooo normal rn anyways let's get into it thank u for having me on the show, mr. kimmel. i've had a raging headache all day so the content underneath each sections will be kinda short. i'll go through and add more to it once i recover but i wanted to get this up before the week got too busy!

krolia

guys…. im so sorry for the angst….. it was necessary for the plot…….

maybe it’s just me projecting but in the actual show, i kind of wish we had seen more of the emotional fallout that occurred after krolia revealed that she was keith’s mom. because let’s be real here, there’s no way that keith’s traumatized ass would just willingly accept her back into his life. he’d have questions. he’d be in disbelief. it’s hard for him to open up to others and he carries a lot of hurt from being abandoned.

it was crucial in the course of this fic to have that confrontation between krolia and keith. it's not always going to be rainbows and sunshine, and even though they both missed each other deeply, you don't just automatically connect and forget everything that's happened. even if keith hadn't gone into the foster system, he definitely would have carried a lot of anger and hurt towards krolia when she shows back up. i'm sure that things won't just be smooth sailing and they'll need to hash things out multiple times as they rebuild their relationship but that first fight was a big hurdle to get over.

if you’re curious, i have a whooollleeee backstory for what happened with krolia and why she couldn’t get back to her kid. i couldn’t really fit it into the fic but i’ll put it right here for those who are interested:

2000: krolia in the US on student visa, first year of of PhD program

krolia meets heath and they fall in love

2003: krolia gives birth to keith

2008: krolia finishes grad school/PhD program/doctoral degree and applies for a work visa 

2009: she and heath and baby keith are living their life but krolia’s parents find out and are like girl you need to come home NOW or we will disown you 

krolia’s family are really wealthy and powerful 

krolia: i’ll come back for you guys idk how but i will 

krolia goes back to the states

2009-2011: she and heath write letters but then the letters start getting intercepted by the family and eventually peters out

krolia in arranged marriage and thinks her partner forgot about her or didn’t care

meanwhile heath doesn’t know what happened to krolia but can’t do anything about it bc she’s in a diff country and he doesn’t speak korean

2011: heath and keith move to texas for job or whatever

heath tells keith all about krolia and how she loves him but can’t be there and obvi that fucks keith up bc he misses his mom but where tf is she? how does he know she loves him if she’s not even there? he's a little kid

2013: heath dies and keith is put into the system

heath has no other family members

krolia put her english name on the birth certificate and so ofc she doesn’t exist in the US

texas social services try to reach out to krolia along with some friends but letters are intercepted

2016: someone reaches out to krolia after she finally gets facebook 

friend: thinking of you. miss you. so sorry about heath

krolia: …. what the fuck about heath?

friend: uhhhhhhhh

krolia goes on rampage to her family like wtf u mean u didn’t tell me that the father of my child is dead

cousin shows up with the intercepted letters (official notice from social services, heath’s letters and pictures, keith’s little notes and drawings)

krolia starts the process of legally and financially emancipating herself from her family (she basically was Britney’d)

2017/2018: finally is free and able to get a job in the states

starts tracking down heath (they only had a forwarding address for krolia so they’re like wtf who is this bih)

at this point, keith has already met the shiroganes and changed his name

krolia is in a different state and can only do so much 

spends the next few years trying to find him, hires P.I., again keep running into blocks bc social workers and case managers are NOT going to budge on giving up keith's personal information

2023, winter break: krolia reaches out to keith through facebook but it goes into his spam since they’re not facebook friends

allura

what better allegory for sacrificing yourself to save the universe is there than graduating college? in all fairness, i felt like sticking to the notion of allura saying goodbye and leaving the group had its merit, just y’know, i wanted to take a step down from the whole dying thing. i tried to pay homage to the canon material as much as possible while also providing my own spin on things.

one thing that’s been important to me is depicting allura as a college student. sure, while i think most iterations of allura as a kind and a great leader and intelligent are great, even in modern au fics, i just wish there had been a bit more... silliness? outside of her being like the girlboss, the hell yeah supporting character or love interest or bone-tired leader, i always wonder what she would have been like if she hadn't had to save the universe and was just trying to heal on her own terms. yeah, i nerfed her parents in this universe but i tried to showcase her doing normal college things as well, like presenting at research conferences, getting a bit messy drunk, having pizza nights and group hang outs. the funny thing about grief is that life does not stop for it, so you have to just figure things out along the way.

i also didn't want to elaborate too much on her relationship with lotor. she didn't magically heal from that one conversation with lance in chapter 8 but i wanted the readers to get a taste of what was going on in her head through their dialogue. plus, it was a little moment to show how she was allowing herself to open up to other people like lance. no one woman is an island, no matter how much of a bad b!tch you are.

🫧 also, i wanted to include it somewhere but basically, keith knew allura and romelle were hooking up since chapter 14! keith caught romelle sneaking out of allura's room early one morning and he just kept it to himself because snitches get stitches.

pidge

they are so precious to me. they're an amalgamation of 2 of my closest friends, and well, me.

i always knew that pidge was going to be a super important piece in klance development. while lance and keith are great friends, i think pidge played a crucial role in bridging them together in the beginning, before the two of them had cleared up their misunderstandings and made that truce. sure, allura asked them to be on the paintball team but pidge really forced the two of them into close quarters. lance might have extended the offer to keith to hand out without pidge or he might not have. honestly, i'm not really sure. but pidge inviting keith to hang out in chapter 4 was a quiet but big moment because both keith and lance are friends with pidge and will set aside their differences long enough to tolerate each other's presence in a shared space. pidge just has #babyofthefriendgroup privileges.

🫧 i honestly think that after the main two, pidge has undergone the most growth (physically and emotionally) throughout the fic, even though they're a supporting character. we can all benefit from community and friendship but i think pidge needed it a little bit more.

🫧 i partially wrote pidge to represent my younger self, especially when i first attended college. i was scared and alone and i had never been away from home and it was a struggle to form new relationships (and figure out my gender identity. mannnnnn fuck that). it was nice to see pidge find their place and niche among the greater social fabric of college, kind of like comforting my younger self for all the loneliness and uncertainty i endured.

hunk

i love hunk so dearly. ngl, i wanted him to have a bigger arc than he did but hopefully i did a decent job at making feel more well-rounded as a supporting character. i decided to actually kind of lean into this distance in the later chapters as well, esp from lance's pov, as they both got busier. at the end of the day, though, i knew that those two would come back together. hunk is a kind and sympathetic friend and his and lance's friendship will persevere because they're good communicators. their little talk in chapter 17 was me talking to myself and to anyone else who has went through a similar thing where they find themselves drifting a little farther from a friend.

people get busy and that's okay! there will be ebbs and flows in every relationship. even though shared history is a crucial part of a friendship but it can't be the only thing that will keep it going. you need to nurture it and tend to it in order for it to keep it alive and flourishing. hunk understands this and he and lance will be just fine after their talk. hunk is probably the most emotionally intelligent person after adam in the group, and i'm glad he was there to help both lance and keith out when they needed it.

adam

this man!!!!! got i have gotten so fucking attached to adam throughout this fic. he is so dear to me. i know in chapter 10 i wrote from adam's pov and he's a goofy guy in his twenties who's just trying to be a good dad friend but somehow he ended up being a voice of reason and comfort for klance in this fic. lance misses his family a lot and i think adam can not only relate to lance with the homesickness but also lance has started to rely on him a bit like he would with his siblings.

i wanted to try my own spin on adam and keith's relationship. i've seen fics where adam and keith hate each other, don't interact much, or adam takes on a parenting role towards keith as a kid. i wanted to look at keith and adam in the context of two people who both love shiro and then grow to be good friends/surrogate brother-in-law? idk. long story short, adam is very emotionally intelligent and i think he genuinely wanted to get to know keith outside of his connection with shiro and was patient enough to coax keith out of his shell. i tried to write in small ways adam takes care of keith like giving him LactoJoys because Keith likes the taste better than Lactaids, being there for him for his panic attack, adding food to his plate. things that won't draw too much attention, because we all know how keith is about receiving acts of kindness.

i mentioned this in a comment under one of the chapters but all of the advice adam gives keith is either advice i personally received myself or something i wish i could tell my younger self. i hope those words bring you comfort as well!

shiro

i had a lot more planned for shiro but goddammit i had no fucking time or space at this panned out. it's more so klance's story than shiro's.

look, there's a small moment in chapter 18 where shiro is very pleased (and a little surprised) that keith has talked about him with krolia. it has less to do with his faith in keith and more with how he sees himself. shiro has already acknowledged that he has heavy imposter syndrome and deals with his own struggles with self image. it's just always a jolt to your system when someone (could be your own family or your partner of years) validates your relationship.

shiro loves keith very much and just wants to be the best big brother. he has such eldest child syndrome, where he tries to pretend that everything is fine even though things are actually crumbling around him. the thing is, though, you can't build intimacy— real, lasting intimacy and depth in a relationship— without being vulnerable. shiro understands that even though he wants keith to work on opening up, he has to do the same and reciprocate the actions, or else neither of them will really get anywhere and be stuck in that loop of "are you mad at me/i feel like you're hiding something from me/i don't really know who you are."

i tried writing a bit from shiro's pov but i quickly realized that that would drastically change the tone of the fic so i had to scrap it. i might post a little oneshot in the distant future with adashi, though.

keith

🫧 i've talked about this before but although i think keith grew the most as a character in the canon show, that shit was WAY too fast and off-screen. also, i know that the whole found family trope is what drew a lot of fans to voltron in the first place (like me) but is the found family in the room with us rn? i felt like they all started to fall apart or at least weren't as close as the show wanted us to believe. it felt a lot like telling with no showing. other than some occasional moments in the show, the whole #teamasfamily felt hollow.

🫧 i wanted to build on this potential found family for keith's character. he's never had a support system before and he's used to pushing people away but now he has a whole ass friend group that's ready to fight for him if he gives the word.

🫧 initially, when i was writing keith's pov and trying to get a feel for his voice and tone, i struggled a bit. keith is one of those characters that i liked and sympathized with, but getting into his head was a whole different story. i'm more of a lance kinnie but once i got the hand of keith's voice, it was a lot easier. some of my best pieces of writing are from keith's pov! i tried to be as cognizant of keith's development as much as possible as i wrote (think me having various checkpoints for his journey whereas with lance i could just coast on vibes), and i'm pleased with how far he's come.

🫧 although both keith and lance's progress can showcased through their consciousness and thoughts (like duh ur reading from their povs), i leaned into keith's behavior as a way to portray his progress a bit more than lance. things like him being more open to physical affection, not sitting on the outskirts of group dynamics and sticking to shiro, and allowing himself to collect things, which by the way:

🫧 i like the idea of keith's room, once being so empty and ghost-like, is now full of stuff, mementos of his relationships that he's built. i tried to sprinkle in some relics from past chapters (paintball flag, polaroids, ticket stubs), as well add some new tidbits, like shiro giving him a cacti and that korean cookbook!

proud of u, keith bby <3

lance and marco

no i did not just torture lance for the sake of torturing him i would never do that to my boy.

i know this is a fanfiction, but from the start, i wanted to ground this fic in reality and breathe some life into it. lance's little arc with his brother having a substance abuse problem was loosely inspired by events in my personal life.

🫧 i'm not saying that everyone goes through something as drastic as a loved one going to rehab, but as young adults, when we leave home for uni, jobs, other opportunities, etc, there's this worry that something bad will happen while we're away. and often times it does. someone gets sick, a beloved pet passes away, it's all bound to happen. your childhood becomes a thing of the past, and things that you thought would stay the same just won't.

i projected a lot of my feelings onto lance ngl, and writing him work through his own grief and guilt over not being able to be with his family when they're going through a crisis helped me process a little bit more.

although lance had a happier ending than a lot of families might get in reality, i still wanted to show lance having a support system at college and realizing that he has a second family to lean on, and people who love and support him. he doesn't have to pretend to be okay for anyone and that's okay.

black paladin lance or as close to it as i could get

it was so important for me to make lance the new captain of their paintball team, as a stand-in for the black paladin arc he could have had in the show. he’s always been a selfless guy who puts others first and really pulls up when he needs to. he deserves to be recognized for that. not only did every single one of his friends validate him, but the person he looks up to the most literally endorsed him. lance struggles with his inferiority complex and the election scene was a little feel good moment for me, personally, so that he could receive the acknowledgement he deserves, especially with his growth. he's gonna be an awesome team captain (he'll be shuffling down to shiro's room at 2am covered in hickeys and talking about paintball strategies).

wrapping up loose ends

i tried to wrap up as many loose ends as possible and give all the characters a proper send-off. originally i wanted lance and hunk to also move into the house in castle street, like repurpose the basement or something but i realized that that just wasn’t possible because most college basements don’t even have heating or like,,,, a livable arrangement.

ultimately, i think it makes sense for pidge to be the one to take up allura’s room at the house. pidge has lived a single during the academic year but they also had lance and hunk right fifty feet away so it’s not like they REALLY lived alone that year. there was also the logistics of the house having a vacant room, and as much as i would have loved to have all of voltron under the same roof (hunk and pidge sharing a room, keith and lance sharing a room), i think they would kill each other. pidge filling in the gap felt like the right move. and lance and hunk are gonna be over a lot anyways, so it’s not like much has changed in the trio's group dynamic.

🫧 what was your favorite chapter to write?

i think i have different chapters in mind for different reasons, even if it's a copout answer. here are the chapters that are dearest to me:

chapter 4: recalibration this is the chapter where i really got to play around with character interactions. keith and lance's worlds were beginning to integrate in chapter 3 but in this chapter, i got to explore different friendships, like keith & pidge and lance & hunk, and the dynamics they entailed. you can see how important these friendships are to both lance and keith, and how their connection with others eventually helps them to reflect on their previous feelings toward each other, like "hmm maybe i've been too harsh with the other."

chapter 10: let's go to the beach the group dynamics were so solidified to this point, and it was so fun to write. i loved writing from adam's pov and being able to zoom out and showcase klance's relationship progression.

the winter break interludes i waxed poetic about these in a previous faq but to reiterate: i'm really pleased with the way each individual chapter turned out. i love a good character study, and it was a great challenge to my writing and characterization to dig deeper into their home lives and see how the past confronted the present, where their respective childhoods were brought into the light, and how long-held notions of belonging, home, and identity were challenged and remolded.

chapter 17: warm and light my beta reader drunkenguac said that this was some of my best writing and i've been coasting off of that validation for the past 4 months. keith's reunion with his mother was especially cathartic for me. as an adoptee, writing this chapter honestly helped me work through some of my feelings about my adoption as i pictured what it would look like if i was ever reunited with my birth mother. i'm very fortunate that i didn't have to go through the same experiences keith did, but i tried to imbue as much humanness as possible into his section.

chapter 18: moving on it just felt like a proper send-off, the one that we never got from s8 of voltron. i wanted the last chapter to basically have this vibe of "hey, things won't be the same but it's going to be okay because we have each other." when shiro tells matt in the end, "we'll still be here," that's me as the author, telling you, the reader, that this fic will still be here whenever you want to revisit it. it was a comfort to write and i've heard that it's a comfort to read, which is so so so gratifying. when i set out to write this fic in august of 2023, i didn't have any plans of grandeur or even expect like more than 100 people read it— it was just a passion project that i decided to share, and i'm glad that others have sought safety in it. outside of fandom, this fic is a love letter to my own college experience. i remember reading a college au fic when i was still in high school and lonely and closeted and repressed and wondering if i would ever be able to get out of my hometown and find a community as tightly-knit as the fic portrayed it. in a way, i got to reflect on my college experience by writing looking out for you. i find solace in this fic when i read back over it, and i can see aspects of my adventures throughout my freshman and sophomore and junior and senior years, waving from behind a thinly veiled curtain. this fic is dedicated to all the people who made my college experience.

anyways that's me rambling for now! thank you again to everyone who has tuned into looking out for you. this is the first piece of creative writing i've done in a long time, and i never expected to actually finish it. i'm so happy with the way it turned out and the love it's received. until next time!

[pegasusknightsonly]

im trying hard to not make concrete plans for this run in case i do fuck up the iron man and lose someone but here's the vague idea based on what i usually run

chrom/sumia, absolute no brainer, two great kids and the best possible jetpack to keep Chrom out of trouble in the late game.

robin/anna??? just bc i haven't done it yet.

libra/lissa or Henry/Lissa bc you will pry van/ven owain out of my cold dead hands.

sully... either Donnel or Gaius, i prefer Gaius's support and hair colour for Kjelle but they're both annoying to train.

miriel/gregor or miriel/ricken if i somehow get gregor killed but again like Chrom/Sumia it's just the best option

Maribelle/lon'qu???????? normally if i miss any kid i miss Brady but . why not. if no Lon'qu maybe Kellam just for utility.

Panne uhhhhhhhh. I'll think about this one. Panne/Virion ........ maybe ........... (looks at yarnes mods) hey what the fuck. what the fuck guys

Cordelia... Stahl i guess..... why not.

I'm actually going to try to do Nowi/Vaike again bc i loved armsthrift sol Nah. my little beast

Tharja as Sully above orrrr i guess Tharja/Henry for a Noire rallybot but robins only utility out of the early game is rally spectrum so hmmmmmmmm

Olivia... like i love Inigo and in general I've been getting ridiculously good levels so maybe i feel up to the Olivia grind. anyway Olivia/Virion is my favourite by far and failing that she can have Kellam or Henry or even Ricken maybe. im trying not to think about Inigo's modifiers.

Fredcherche forever!!!!!!!!!

[hobisexually]

hello amber!!! hope the recovery is going well 💕💕 today i miss jikook. i'm feeling the ays withdrawal, who i was before the travel show? who knows. I also miss yoongi, i've been listening to dday lately. For the ask game 8,15, 16 and to spice things up a bit 54. Sending a lot of good vibes your way! 💫

hello! <3 truly, the travel show was a life changing event for us all. I forgot about the ays behinds, for some reason, so if you haven’t watched those yet then please do so with me???

I miss yoongi too, I find myself thinking about him so much, probably more than I should. the day before my own surgery I watched his post surgery live (because I’m a joke, yes) and it truly was the most comforting thing I could have possibly watched in that moment, exactly what I needed, and all I’m thinking is. I hope he feels similarly comforted by us at the moment, I’m sure he needs it. also I’m alright, thank you for asking, going into week 3 of the 6 week healing process and I’m already sick of doing nothing but also every responsibility is still too much, so that’s a fun mix 🤩

anyways! ask game, let’s go!

8: an idol you'd love to be friends with?

unironically yoongi, I think of being quiet with him in the same room while we both work, him on his music, me on my writing, a lot. you know jimin’s whole “there’s a person in Seoul who understands you” thing? the feeling that that is supposed to spark, that’s yoongi for me. I just feel like we’d Get each other without needing to explain. like I don’t get horny goblin mode over yoongi that much (though it’s been known to happen, I’m only human after all dndndnd), that’s just My Dude. My Guy.

also all of mamamoo seem like they’d be great to hang out with, I’d just give them a lecture on cultural appropriation first dndndndn, jessi seems unhinged but I’d have the most fun with her, and dokyeom from svt!!!

15. your favorite hairstyle on your bias(es)

oh. oh do you have a MOMENT! fuck me! I know you asked favourite looks in the next one and tumblr will only let me upload ten pictures in one ask and that’s MEAN but you can’t!!!! do this to me re: hair and expect me to be normal!!!!

uggghhhhhhhhh yeah. yeah that tracks.

16. your bias(es)' best look(s)?

I will not go for hobi because it’s the purple jumpsuit or the outfit in my icon and with jungkook I can’t think about him or he upsets me, so here, have mingyu and yoongi for my last remaining pictures tumblr will allow me to upload

and yes I love a suit and I love tit so I guess that’s the red thread here

54. talk to me about anything kpop!

“anything” is very broad and I am blanking NSNSNSNS uhhhhhhhh have you listened to kiss of life’s latest album? because ‘get loud’ is SUCH a destiny’s child song and im obsessed!!!!! also bibi and dean are apparently releasing a collab soon and if that doesn’t turn out to be the filthiest, slinkiest r&b song ever I will be severely disappointed. (are there any other groups you like listening to?)

[dippityart]

Hey ummm say if someone was ur secret santa for a discord group what's some like cool oc lore you'd want them to know about if they wanted to like draw them or something hahaha asking 4 a friend 👀👀

oh man theres alot um um uhhhHHH

ok so there are two main characters, leo and edith who are accidental time travellers. leo is from 2019 and edith is from 1877. both are 17

leo likes scuttlebugs (especially extinct ones. anomalocaris. <3), gymnastics, music, and tv shows like spellbinder and round the twist and stuff. he's not having the best time at school, but fortunately for him, he goes missing for a month. and meets edith! :) he often tries his best but is very accident-prone and makes a lot of mistakes.

edith is a repressed little rebel (affectionate) who likes reading books, chickens, fishing, and riding her bike. she is very good at mowing the lawn extremely slowly on purpose. she can be goofy and silly when she's not having a horrible time constantly.

arthur is sortof a third main character tbh but he doesnt come into the story until at least halfway through so idk if that counts. anyway its mainly those three lol. arthur is an archeologist who's doing his best to help these two goobers stay alive and out of trouble and also keep time travel a secret in the process. (leo and edith leave very messy trails haahakjdsg) dude was born in 1945, and he runs into leo and edith several times over his life. tho its mostly more like they run into him and he runs away screaming.

bartholomew is a grumpy tailor they meet at some point (1500~..?) he's kinda the odd one out here.

their method of time travel is a plague doctor mask-lookin-thing, and it has alot of uhhh. rules. one of which is if youre holding it but not wearing it when a time jump happens. mince meat.

cuscuta is based on the real plant by the same name, and is basically a omnivorous parasite that has figured out that if it sticks with the weird time mask thing, it can grow much quicker and also spread. plus the bonus of a host that seems to heal from injuries much quicker than normal (another mask thing) (hooray for infinite nutrients! :) its not evil, it just is. leo is completely responsible for this.

basically theres alot of skeletons and cuscuta growing through faces and skin and whatnot because uhhhhhhhh... spooky... that being said im so bad with gore thats why everythings in black and white lol

the time jumps happen completely randomly and they have zero control over where theyre going. there are some slight exceptions to this buuuuuuut mostly not

ANYWAY that was alot but hopefully that helps!! thankyou so much aaaaAA <3,3,3<#<3

[tenshindon]

homies be like "how you draw so much how do you spend all day drawin everyday" and ima tell you right now its cause every second of the day i want to see tien content and i am in a desert starving and i’m the only chef around for miles

[cornflowercanine]

put my height as 5'6'' for a dmv form thingy (getting st8 ID in, like, a few w33ks?) cause i didnt know what to put for my height 8ut there was a height thingy there ... 8ut i was wearing very tall 8oots. and the very nice lady who drove us there was like oh thats fine we can just get rid of like an inch -THE 8OOTS ARE VERY TALL- with the 8oots i was nearly 5'8'' so she was like ok youre 5'7''!!! and i was like ummm usually when i measure my height im 5'5'' so im just gonna go with 5'6'' so its in the middle like what i did with my w8 :) and she was like ok sounds good :3 8ut next time when i go (im prolly gonna Actually get my id then, we're w8ing for a thingy to come in the mail first). i have to remem8er to wear flat shoes XDD if im actually 5'6'' though then thats fucking 8aller

[motherstyle-a]

fun fact liz was extremely irritable for about a week after tristan died. like she was biting heads off over very small things

[stlaika]

OH OH OH UM UM UM UM. Im afraid i might not be as interesting when it comes to what ive been listening to but FSJDGDH here goes! Also do like. Instrumental albums count? Whatever they count to me ANYWAY

4.) Pacific Rim [Original Motion Picture Soundtrack] by Ramin Djawadi

THIS FUCKING. THE MOVIE SOUNDTRACK OF ALL TIME like pacific rim's soundtrack pushes my buttons in all the right ways ESPECIALLY with the combination of electric guitar and this like. Swooping orchestra [i fucking love rock and orchestra as a combination. Match made in heaven]

3.) Brendan et le secret de Kells by Bruno Coulais and Kíla

Right so. Firstly this is the soundtrack to one of my favorite movies of all fucking time secondly it's so fucking like. ATMOSPHERIC and RICH coulais' scores always have this like. Mystical luminous feel to them and the secret of kells is no exception and like. Kíla's addiction to the soundtrack in the form of Epicy especially is my favorite for reasons i just cant describe its just. So good. Mwah

2.) I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by my chemical romance

If youve spoken to me for longer than five seconds youll know that mcr is my favorite band of all fucking time and this album. This album right here. I may talk about danger days all the fucking time bc that album is my girlfriend but bullets??? Fucking bullets??? Oh my GOD. The guitars the crunchy recording quality gerard's little baby voice cracking while hes fucking screaming the utterly personal nature of the lyrics the fucking. Reference to dawn of the dead. The rawness of the vocals and the general metal sound they were going for is all just so. God. What a good fucking album. AND THE STORYTELLING ELEMENTS !!! thats always been one of the best aspects of mcr's music like. The story that's weaved in every song and the atmosphere it all builds is so fucking GOOD and the fact it's so prominent right at their start says so much about why this band became as legendary as it is. It's also mcr's least known album if youre not a fan but i 100% recommend it bc its mcr at their core

1.) So Much [For] Stardust by fall out boy

ARGH. ARGH. ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!! oh my GOD oh my god oh my god. Ok so this fucking album released last month and i havent known any peace since bc this is TRULY. And i mean TRULY. Fall out boy's best. The soaring orchestral and pop punk rock combo combined with the strong mid 70s to mid 80s influence is soooo fucking insane and like. God pete wentz's lyrics are smth ive always liked abt fob but here its just. This fantastic combination of world weary and yet just a little hopeful and so so so normal in the best fucking way [and theres a bit of pete's actual poetry in there as well! God!!] Not to mention Patrick stump's vocals like jesus CHRIST its already a known fact that that man has some serious pipes but he truly gets to show off his range here and it's fucking incredible. The band put their fucking hearts into this album and it really shows

Coughs. Anyways i chooooooose

@cipher-fresh @thesarosperiod @doctorbeverlycrusher @robyn-goodfellowe @anxiouscoyote @randoomwriter and uhhhhhhhh anyone else who wants to inflict music thoughts upon the world!!!

four albums I’ve been listening to recently!

Thank you @petrichoraline for tagging me! Musical tag games really are my favorites, I'll talk non-stop about songs if I'm not careful lmao

I have some downloaded albums that I end up listening to again and again while driving, so my repeats are less "my latest choices" and more "I'd inject this shit directly into my bloodstream if I could", but I'll try to think of what's been on my mind lately.

In Case I Die, by Will Wood (2023)

I really love Will Wood's lyrics, but his musical style earlier in his career is kind of hit or miss for me personally. Now, his live performances in this latest album are just incredible. He really put all of his emotions into each song, and the acoustic aspect of it all hits me in a completely different way. This shit got me writing poems, literally.

Earth Trip, by Rose City Band (2021)

Listen, im 23 but my musical taste is 100% that of a middle-aged dad. I discovered this band recently and it's so good!! Their work is a bit bluegrass, a bit Americana; and this album specifically just makes me think of the late 60s- which, in my opinion, is a compliment. Anyone who likes stuff like The Grateful Dead, Bread, America, The Doobie Brothers, and even Dave Matthews and Jimmy Buffet should absolutely check it out.

Drink From The Creek, by Joshua Bond (2021)

I found Joshua on tiktok, a surprisingly good tool to discover amazingly talented indie artists, and holy shit is this guy talented. I'm not kidding one bit when I say that this is one of the greatest songwriters of this generation, and it's a shame that his work isn't being praised at all the corners of the globe. He's a folk singer, but one of the best out there, and this album hits me so hard as somebody who's the same age as he is- born in the year 2000, just in time to watch as the world collapses.

The Man Who Sold the World, by David Bowie (1970)

I warned you about my music taste OK. This isn't my favorite of Bowie's albums, but I do think it's incredibly underrated, and it holds a special place in my heart- especially the second track, All the Madmen, which is one of the reasons why I ended up studying Psychology. I've been listening to this one on repeat since I recommended one of its songs to @bingobongobonko , who can consider himself tagged on this game. Gimme all the albums my man

I'm also gonna tag @sybilius @rainyrainbow999 @falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand and @morgannalefey . Please feel free to ignore it, but also I'd love to give your latest albums a listen

[snickerdoodlles]

so a few weeks ago, @majestictortoise​ and i were talking about VegasPete cohabitation negotiations. because the thing is, these two spent like 3, maybe 5 days max actually existing around each other before going im going to spend the rest of my life with him. very sexy of them to do that, except five minutes after they were both on the same page about this, Vegas does his best swiss cheese impersonation and then they spend several weeks in the hospital waiting for him to heal and reaffirm that yep, this is the man i want to spend forever with. again, very sexy of them to do that, but this means that they’ve been together for several weeks but still don’t know what its actually like to LIVE with the other person, much less live together plus one Macau. and on top of this mess, they also have to face the fact that none of them have a single clue how to run a household because none of their lives have been normal.

the first hint of their coming domestic clashes is, of all things, the dishwasher.

Vegas is freshly released from the hospital. none of them want to return to the minor family compound, or have anything to do with the mafia in general tbh, so Pete and Macau had spent the hospital’s no visitors hours reviewing Vegas’s dubiously acquired real estate properties for somewhere to live. two weeks before Vegas was due to be released, Pete and Macau had picked a cozy home in the suburbs and Porsche loaned a bunch of minions to get it dusted and fitted with some basic furniture. also, as the only one of them who’s ever been a homeowner, Porsche also thought to walk through the home with Pete and make sure all the taps were working and the electricity was running and the utility bills paid. a true bro, that one.

anyways, its their first evening at home. they’re still living on takeout because no one has the energy to cook (that’s Vegas’s area anyways), but Pete and Macau insist on putting the food out on actual plates and use actual utensils instead of eating out of the cartons with plastic and cheap bamboo like they have been. they pull the couch cushions to the floor and eat there because the flatpack table is assembled but the chairs are not, and its all very sweet and lovely. Pete loads the dishwasher and when he’s done, he notices Vegas grimacing and sweetly hustles him off to the bedroom for a handjob and rest.

two days later, after a wonderful meal courtesy of Pete’s grandma (she’s the best), the dishwasher is full enough to run. Pete puts the soap in, then pauses with a frown. i dont remember loading it like that, he thinks, before shrugging and running the thing. it’s just dishes, and he has more important things to worry about anyways.

the first obvious casualty of their collective inexperience are three of Vegas’s velvet shirts. he’s been wearing all his softest clothes, because he’s been stuck in hospital scrubs for much too long, so he’s working off a much more limited clothing pile than the rest of them. the only blessing in this scenario is that Vegas is the one to load the washing machine (well, Macau loaded it, because he didn’t want Vegas to strain himself, but they did it together) so Vegas doesn’t have anyone to yell at. he and Pete fuck out the angst of course, but the cloud of three murdered shirts still hangs over them for a week.

they figure a few things out, like how you don’t pour straight bleach on a counter stain because pure bleach bleaches the counter, there’s always another corner to dust even when you got them all, don’t forget to put the trash out the night before trash collection days. life trucks along, because life does that, then a new demon emerges.

“Vegasssssssssssssssss,” Macau wails from his bedroom doorway, “is the internet still out?”

“uhhhhhhhh,” Vegas says, looking guilty in the midst of scattered wires and a gutted cablebox. the three of them have been trying to figure out why the internet had abruptly gone down since last night and after the two of them had triple checked that everything was plugged in right this morning, Pete had disappeared to teach Chay how to punch stuff and Vegas had pulled out a screwdriver and pliers with a manic gleam in his eyes. Pete’s not even mad, though he does make a mental note to ask Porsche if replacement cableboxes are one of those free things or something they have to purchase.

“uhm,” comes a voice from the kitchen. “did you pay the internet bill?” Chay asks Pete, because he’s still ignoring Vegas while he figures out how he feels about the whole successful-and-attempted-kidnappings thing.

Pete, who’s never had a household bill before in his whole life, blinks. “is that what that mail was?”

Vegas, who knows what regular payments are thanks to growing up a mafia heir, but for whom household bills were but a distant myth, frowns. “i thought we agreed that thing was fake.”

“what the fuck is an internet bill?” asks Macau, because household bills do not exist to sixteen year olds.

“...something to look into then,” Chay squeaks out before fleeing for the front door.

Pete luckily has the sense to complain to his grandma about the situation during their next phone call. he is appalled to learn all those utility payments he paid when they first moved in are reoccurring monthly payments. grandma laughs at him for five minutes, but at least they now know to pay the electric bill on time.

the dishes thing comes to head after six weeks of Vegas making Faces every time Pete loads the dishwasher and Pete finally body slams him like WHAT

“mugs go at the back of the rack :) because they’re heavy :) it’s better balanced if they’re in the back :) :) :)”

it’s not a pretty argument. they fuck about it. the argument continues. they fuck some more about it. Pete picks up Vegas from his last physical therapy appointment the next day, except when Vegas tries to get in the passenger seat, Pete’s like “no no, heavy weight goes in the BACK we need to keep things BALANCED :) if you say ONE word of the lecture on the tip of your tongue I WILL make you walk”

and then Pete does make him walk. he doesn’t drive off, Vegas isn’t allowed out of his sight lest he do something stupid, so he follows in the car carefully to make sure Vegas doesn’t get into something stupid. it’s a level of petty bitch unseen before.

“this wouldn’t be a problem if you just loaded the dishwasher correctly :)” Vegas says when he’s finally allowed in the car.

“this wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t a bitch :)” Pete retorts.

they fuck about it when they get home of course, because what’s the point of domestic tension if it doesn’t fuel your sex life.

Pete finally asks Porsche to visit two months into living with Vegas. fucking out their domestic problems is fun, but he’s getting a little tired of their sex life being fueled primarily by who last forgot about the chore wheel. Porsche says hello and then excuses himself to the bathroom, only to take one step into it and hastily back out with an expression of deep alarm.

Porsche opens his mouth, pauses to rethink what he’s about to say, then asks, “where do you keep your toilet cleaner Pete?”

“my what?” Pete asks. he stares at Porsche blankly for a few seconds before hesitantly pointing at the handsoap on the sink, feeling a bit like he’s been asked a trick question.

Porsche smiles kindly. it almost doesn’t look strained. “not that, the stuff you use to clean the toilet bowl.”

Pete feels the question marks cross his face. “our toilet flushes,” he explains slowly, “it cleans itself.”

Porsche takes that in, gives a small little nod, and disappears to take a piss. “right,” he says as he exits the bathroom, “do you have a pen and paper? we need to make a shopping list.”

they write up a list--excessively long in Pete’s humble opinion, but Porsche insists they need all of it, and Pete’s not stupid enough to think he knows more than him--and have lunch before they go. Pete washes the dishes by hand because he’s still a little sore (emotionally and physically) over his and Vegas’s last argument about the dishwasher. Porsche watches him with plain faced horror.

“Pete,” he says, strangled.

Pete presses a soapy hand to his forehead and sighs so loud he rattles the window.

Porsche kindly doesn’t say anything on it, he just nudges Pete to the side, hands him a towel, and walks him through it. “you only need a little bit of soap,” he explains kindly, “fill up the basin with hot water and a small dash of soap, and you’re good to go.”

Pete wrinkles his nose at the steamy soapy water. “hot water dries out my hands,” he complains.

“we’ll pick up some gloves,” Porsche reassures, “but you need the hot water. it unsticks food better and sterilizes your dishes. the soap just helps.”

Pete sighs again. he’s starting to think anything involving dishes is a mistake.

Porsche and Pete go shopping. there’s so much stuff. Pete doesn’t know what the fuck he’s expected to do with three buckets, but Porsche insists. Pete’s even more alarmed by the sheer number of different soaps apparently required for a house. you’d think they’d have invented a universal soap by now.

“oh!” Macau says brightly, “i think i saw a tiktok for that!”

“ooh,” Pete says, immediately interested.

“absolutely not,” Porsche hisses like a wet cat, then sits them all down for a lecture on the dangers of homemade mustard gas.

never fear, they do figure out how to adult with the help of Porsche and Vegas’s growing collection of momfluencers and aunties who think his cheekbones can do no wrong. it doesn’t even take them that long, but tell that to the number of Vegas’s silk and velvet shirts that were sacrificed along the way.

[sapphim]

Really thinking hard about how to handle Sebastian in the new climax crisis mod because when I initially made no seb climax crisis (as my *checks* third published mod, five years ago) I was really dissatisfied with what I was able to accomplish with the options I had available for modding back then.

I’ve talked at length before about the problems I have with Seb’s content in the climax but it mostly boils down to 1) quite a bit of it feels more like hamfisted movie villainry than a meaningful emotional response and 2) since Sebastian is dlc (and not even day 1 dlc), the entire scene is structured around the assumption that he won’t be present by default, and thus most of his dialogue, rather than contributing meaningfully to the conversation, insists of him shouting into the void while no one reacts.

I’m trying to come at this with a fresh outlook and not reference any of the choices I made in the past. But, anyway, here’s what I’m toying with rn. Feedback appreciated.

I removed most of his lines from my mockup of the dialogue so that approaching it I will be making decisions about which lines to add in rather than which lines to remove, but I’ve already decided to retain the following exchanges in the conversation following the chantry boom.

Orsino: The Circle didn't even do this! Champion, you can't let her! Help us stop this madness! Meredith: And I call on you to keep order! After what just occurred, you cannot deny what must be done. (or) Meredith: And I demand you stand with us! Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated. Sebastian: Why are we debating the Right of Annulment when the monster who did this is right here? (But this then segues back into other npc reactions which are normally skipped if Sebastian is present)

Also this:

Hawke: Was that... why you needed me to distract the grand cleric? Sebastian: This? This is what you tried to trick me into doing? Sebastian: And you went along with him! Anders: If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance. (or) Hawke: Was that... why you needed me to distract the grand cleric? Sebastian: You were... part of this? Anders: If you knew what I was doing, you would have felt honor-bound to stop me. I couldn't take that chance.

Also this:

Anders: The Circle is an injustice, in many places beyond Kirkwall. The world needs to see. Sebastian: Elthina is not the Circle! She was a good woman, and you murdered her! Orsino: You fool! You've doomed us all!

It’s the second part of the conversation that’s more problematic, in which Hawke and Anders have a big long back and forth conversation while the camera periodically cuts to Sebastian, featuring absolutely no one reacting to anything he says.

Thinking about moving a few lines around if I can find places for them that flow better, ex.

Hawke: Opinions? Sebastian: He should be killed on the spot. With the templars busy, there is no one who can contain him until a trial. Sebastian: If I'd been in that chantry today, would you be waffling? You know what must be done!

Then there’s the tricky part, which is actually dealing with Hawke letting Anders live despite Seb’s objections. Most of Sebastian’s “im gonna go to starkhaven  and raise an army to return and destroy you all for harboring this criminal” dialogue is absolutely unusable lmfao. Admittedly, I can theoretically cut down existing audio lines now so some of them might be partially salvageable, but I’m not counting on it.

The best existing objection (which I ended up using in the first mod) is

Sebastian: You condone this? The brutal death of an innocent woman of faith? Someone you knew! Who trusted you!

Then I want to add a third option to the dialogue wheel (which I wanted to add five years ago but didn’t know how to make it work perfectly at the time) so, thus:

Choice #1 (text): ? something something bigger picture ? won’t undo what he’s done ? need all the help we can get ? idk Choice #1 (dialogue): 6195829 I'm sorry about the grand cleric. But there's much more at stake. Choice #2 (text): 6087747 Stay out of this. or 6144517 Stand down. Choice #2 (dialogue): 6182459 Do not interfere, Sebastian. Choice #3 (text): 6182489 Fine. Anders dies. Choice #3 (dialogue): 6182488 He's right. The grand cleric deserves justice.

No edits made to the scene if you kill Anders. (And credit where credit is due, I do think that exchange is well-written)

Hawke: He's right. The grand cleric deserves justice. Anders: Yes. I would not deny anyone's right to that.

The paraphrase for the other existing option has been changed, and if you tell him to fuck off he will still leave and you’ll never see him again (though uhhhhhhhh hopefully less looking like he’s being set up to be the sequel villain). This line is probably staying, at least:

Sebastian: I gave up on Starkhaven to serve the Maker, but He has turned his back on Kirkwall for harboring heretics like this.

The first option is the one that will allow him to stay if his end-stage questioning beliefs has been completed, otherwise it will segue back into him leaving. This line I miraculously found hanging out in another conversation is such a godsend for that:

Sebastian: By Chantry law, these mages must be contained. But Elthina, bless her, feared Meredith as much. Sebastian: I will stand with you, Hawke.

Though that’s only useful if Hawke sides with the mages. In the existing mod when Hawke sides with the templars and Seb qualifies to stay I believe it goes

Hawke: Help me restore order. Anders: Fight with the templars. Against the Circle. Anders: Perhaps that is the only way to make this right. Stop this war before it's too late. Anders: If you think that is a better atonement than my death, I am with you for so long as I can maintain my grip on the monster inside me. Sebastian: It will never be enough, but it's a start.

Which might still be the best I can do.

As for setting the end-stage questioning beliefs as the threshold for Seb to stay, I think that’s perfectly consistent with everyone else. Aveline, Merrill, and Fenris are now always stay if you side with their preferred side, always stay if you side against their preferred side and you’ve completed their end-stage, and never stay otherwise. Anders is always stay if you side with the mages (and ask him to stay), always stay if you side with the templars (and ask him to stay) and you’ve completed his end-stage rivalry, and never stay otherwise. Seb would be always stay if you kill Anders, always stay if you refuse to kill Anders but have completed his end-stage, and never stay otherwise.

Admittedly, Aveline, Merrill, and Fenris all give you a chance to recruit them back in a later conversation (and the vanilla threshold is that they’ll agree if they’re not between 50%-100% rivalry), but if you side with the templars you have one chance to keep Anders or else he’s gone for good, and I think that’s fair with Seb as well.

So obviously uhhhhhh most of what’s left to do is cobble together a collection of lines of dialogue for the Seb stays/Seb goes exchange that actually feels like a real conversation. Which is the difficult and subjective part. But being able to commandeer lines like “I'm sorry about the grand cleric. But there's much more at stake.“ and “By Chantry law, these mages must be contained. But Elthina, bless her, feared Meredith as much.” help a lot at least.

Anyway that’s my rambling on my current thought process out of the way lmfao thanks for reading.

[orange-waterfalls]

Wilford with a baker s/o headcanons

ty anon for the request!

A/N: this was fucking FUN. it's not even that long but it took a long time to get through shdbdhvdhdvdh. uhhhhhhhh I think it's sweet. and pretty accurate to Wilford's character. uh im gonna start putting the “keep reading” thing of my stuff bc i didn’t know how to do that before and also my fics are usally really long. anyways! enjoy!

Wilford with a baker s/o

Wilford has a sweet tooth, everyone knows

So when a new bakery showed up near his work, he was ELATED

He didn’t think much of you at first, though

You were kinda cute, sure, but other than that there wasn't much to see

He visited the bakery a LOT

so you two talked a lot

He started to really like you after a few months

He planned to ask you out but you beat him to it

baked him a cake with "go out with me?" written in icing

Ya goddamn sappy bitch

he loved it, of course, and agreed

He visits you twice every day

Once in the morning to chat over coffee or smthn

Once later in the day when you go on break.

You sit nearby on a bench and talk about random shit

Well…. Wilford talks. You usually just listen

But if you start talking and REALLY get into it he gets this lovestruck look on his face

Like he has such a dopey smile and he looks so dumb but at the same time <3333

You save a box of doughnuts covered in pink icing for him once a week

He adores you for it

You honestly are a tad scared of him bc a) he eats so many goddamn sweets but NEVER gains any weight somehow and b) you have no idea how old he is

You asked and he said “i think about 100” and you laughed. 

He didn’t.

You do honestly think he’s a god

And deadass???? That’s awesome

He talks about you on his show all the time

No matter what the conversation is, he will find someway to direct it to you

“Yeah so im making a new line of hoodies and-” “my s/o wears hoodies! They’re great they work at a bakery nearby and they’re so adorable an--”

He loves you, what can I say?

You bake for him a LOT when you move in together

Just trying new recipes

He always thinks they’re delicious but you always find SOMETHING wrong

He eats all of them

Neither of you can cook very

There is a big difference between cooking and baking

You’re also usually tired after work

So you just… order take-out

either that or you make sandwhiches

Occasionally you’ll invite Dark over for dinner and make him cook

He wants to be mad but Wil seems so happy, so he deals with it

SPEAKING OF DARK he was very suspicious of you at first

Someone?? Dating Wilford????? And staying alive????????? Impossible

But you seemed normal enough, so…

He keeps an eye on you, but overall thinks you’re fine

You brought the other egos a cake one morning and they fell in love with you

except for google but he doesn’t love anything

Bim got you on a baking show one day

you didn’t win

But that’s ok, Wilford still loves you

He is VERY open with his affection

PDA is his very favorite thing

Holding your hand and swinging it? wonderful

Setting a hand on your waist?? fantastic

Kissing your cheek??? superb

He’s a messy boy, too

Can’t fold laundry for shit

Can’t DO laundry for shit either

He’s learning, it’s ok

Loves to spoil you with gifts

Just any normal weekday he’ll give you a fucking diamond

Not jewelry, no

A whole fucking diamond.

“what’s the occasion?” “the occasion is me celebrating my love for you!”

the occasion was that mark stole it from a museum and didn’t want to be caught with it

He loves you, what can I say?

Wil’s also fairly protective

He likes to keep a hand on you at all times and he stands between you and the street when you walk around

You ask why, and he says he doesn’t know

He says that for a lot of things and you worry about him sometimes

He has a hard time remembering things

When he needs to wake up, where he needs to go, if he’s eaten…

And he has a really hard time with dates

He can never remember your birthday or his, nor any holidays

You do remind him and he always apologizes

You guys don’t really celebrate any holidays

He gets confused a lot too

Sarcasm is a lost concept on him

If it’s confusing to you too, you both are just confused together and the other person looks stupid

If it’s not, you explain it to him and move on

You have to help him with a few things, such as reminding him when he needs to eat/sleep/drink water etc.

He DOES know that he absolutely  loves you, and nothing will ever change that… hopefully...

[hongjoongpresent]

Hi, Dani. I would like to know how to properly write psychotics since the way the media portrays them is very ableist and I think psychotics deserve good representation.

Oh. Uhhhhhhhh ive never been asked for help or anything like this before?? Uhhhh man idk. Disclaimer: im stupid and dont know anything about writing. Also: i only have my own experiences with being psychotic and i obviously cant speak for every single psychotic person lol.

Ok uh. I would say try to avoid a split personality serial killer trope. Please PLEASE dont do what danganronpa did to toko thats all hah. Also try to avoid pulling a korekiyo? So basically. Try not to literally tell your viewer/reader that "this person is strange and different meaning this person is creepy and i dont wanna be around them" which i felt was sorta the goal with korekiyo (SORRY FOR USING DANGANRONPA EXAMPLES BUT ITS THE BEST I GOT OK)

Ummm ok *thinks* fun psychotic things TM definitely include (at least for me! Ntot everyone obvs):

Spiders or bugs under your skin. Im pretty sure this is basically universal for psychotics since ive seen MANY PEOPLE talk about this. But its a very common delusion where it feels or even sounds like there are bugs or spiders under your skin (yuh its terrifying XD)

That one hallucination dude that just kinda stands in the corner?? Idk he whispers a lot (like. Speak the fuck up or SHUT the fuck up real.) And he doesnt really have a face or anything he just kinda stands there and either comforts you or insults you (its like being in a toxic relationship but its literally in your head so you cant leave <3)

Hyperfixations on people. Of course many many MANY neurodivergent disorders include hyperfixations, but im talking PEOPLE. I have trust issues. But when i do truly trust someone OH BOY i be thinking about them CONSTANTLY

Intrusive thoughts. Many people can have them sure but ive never met a psychotic person who didnt have intrusive thoughts. Think of things like. Stabbing someone. Randomly pushing or punching someone. Hitting someone with a chair. Kissing or even having sex with someone. (Literally anyone. Ive. Literally had intrusive thoughts about having sex with teachers. Not even attractive teachers or anything just. Normal people.) HOWEVER keep in mind... we dont usually ACT on these. Its not like "o i had a thought about stabbing my brother im gonna dtab my brother now".

PROBLEMS SLEEPING!!!! Because of reasons like. Thinking about the future or an idealized version of the future, thinking about what the Real World would be like once i leave this fake world. Or because the walls are breathing (why do they do that lmao?) Or some random hallucination decides to talk to you out of nowhere. Stuff like that.

Nothing feeling real. Life is a simulation and nothing matters anyway. Everyone in this world is not even really a person. Theyre just computer generated to make me believe its the real world but i know its not. Everything revolves around me this world is built around me. Everything that happened before i was here is just made up and never actually happened. Or at least it didnt matter. Im the main character in this video game.

Auditory hallucinations!! Theyre the worst tbh. Screaming, random crying, mean laughter (why is it never anything fun ughhhh). Usually, i try to ignore auditory hallucinations by listening to music with my earplugs in.

Man sorry for making this post really long but. Im not good with advice?? These are purely my own experiences!! Just. Try to avoid making them the butt of the joke or the Weird Unlikable Character TM.

[aximili]

drafted this from @dominocity ages ago and forgot abt it until i was procrastinating just now :0

check in tag game ✅

1. why did you choose your url?

went by axx for a very long time (incredibly this actually had nothing to do with aximili-esgarrouth-isthill even tho i did grow up loving animorphs. i had an OC who used the online handle axolotl.... something... i cant remember.... and i thought it sounded cool so i started using it. wow i had actually forgotten this info until just now! lore!) anyway someone on tumlr reminded me how much i loved animorphs and i wanted a new url at the time. someone just had it saved and wasnt using it so i was like fuck it, why not ask. politely messaged the blog and they were like oh ya i forgot abt this and freed it up

2. any side blogs? if you have them name and them and why you have them.

i have like 6 but i no longer use any of them & havent for years lmaoooo

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i think its a decade this year. and ive never changed blogs once. im like a fungal infection here they cant get rid of me

4. do you have a queue tag?

i have never queued and i never will. you get my posts when you get em.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

a lot of my friends on deviantart (yes dear god) were becoming more active here and i started checking some humour blogs daily until i was eventually like why not just make an account

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Him. (from the cover of #8 the alien, the first ax pov book, which i found in a 2nd hand bookshop as a kid and was soooo excited bc i could normally only read animorphs at the library, they were never in shops. still a treasured possession.)

7. why did you choose your header?

it just really describes my emotional state at any given time

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

unfortunately i believe it's this, which is not even my original content nor even the OP's original content, as it turned out. but "online job application form" dnd joke is probably second

9. how many mutuals do you have?

who the got damn hell is keeping track of this?

10. how many followers do you have?

1439. its been around this number for like 2 years i really just stagnated at a certain point but idm

11. how many people do you follow?

968. to paraphrase lydia, i suppose i should follow 1 more. (im sure that at least half of those are inactive. i have been here for a decade.)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

by no means. none of my posts are shit

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

uhhhhhhhh i probably open it and glance at activity/briefly glance at my dash llike 5 times a day? a lot less now that i use locked twitter for socialisation

14. did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

god no i am incredibly nonconfrontational. a couple times in my younger and more vulnerable years id post some stupid uninformed take and someone would rightfully disagree, and occasionally vice versa, but i honestly can't recall a "fight"

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

it's good to only follow adults the dashboard becomes a peaceful place

16. do you like tag games?

yes i like talking about myself 😊 but i never tag anyone bc im lazy oops.

17. do you like ask games?

i rarely do them bc i would usually not get any lmao, but they can be fun

18. which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

alma my friend alma seems to get a lot of nonsense in their inbox even tho they only post abt yugioh. eliza was definitely my most famous mutual but she freed herself from this place to become a real author, godspeed. and logan really blew up with "your dad looks gnc af" most recently

i think i have some more well known mutuals (again. been here 10 years.) but i cant think of them rn lmao sorry if ur a famo and i excluded u.

generally people think i have a lot more followers than i actually have? it's hard to gauge whether that's a compliment or not, but i take it as one.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i have crushes on like everyone i meet it's called being bisexual </3

20. tags?

i tag...... YOU yes you. if u want!