#anyway if you've commented anything you genuinely want me to see on my recent posts you should maybe say that in an ask or reblog for now

[rotisseries]

tumblr has now decided to hide the comments on my asks from me

[genericpuff]

I'm curious - how many unanswered asks do you have in your inbox? Or do you just delete the ones you don't plan on answering?

do you feel good anon

do you feel good about yourself with this question

targeting me like that

geeeeez

ok but more seriously LMAO i have an embarrassingly large amount of unanswered asks but i do read all of them <3 a lot of them honestly are just from folks like, sharing their anonymous opinions about either LO and LR, with the odd one about comic advice, sharing webtoon recommendations, and other things of that nature!

In the case of the LO asks, it's stuff that often has already been spoken about at length before so I don't really have anything to add (but trust me, I'm usually in total agreement, if I heavily disagree with a take I'll usually try to respond to it but it's rare that that's the case because most of the takes are just things like "wow the art in this panel sucks" like yep it sure do LOL) and often it just feels like my inbox is just like, a comment box for people to get their feelings out anonymously and honestly that's fine, I just also can't really respond to every single one unfortunately, but I do read them and I love y'all's takes!

With LR asks, y'all are way too sweet to me and send me just the kindest things about LR, and I hope y'all know that even if I wind up not getting back to your ask about it, I do read everything you send and appreciate so much the amount of support you've all shown for this project since I took it on <3 A lot of those asks are literally my version of "do it for her" where I read them and it reminds me of why it's so worth doing what I do :') <3

Whenever people recommend me other works to read, I add them to a list and I am currently trying to tackle it :) (honestly that list isn't as big as you'd think, a lot of the recommendations are for the same stuff, like other Greek myth retelling comics or otherwise just bad webtoons that people want me to suffer thru LOL) I just recently finally got a physical copy of Song of Achilles and while it's slow going, I'm gonna be sharing my extended thoughts about it, either in a big Tumblr post or maybe a video if I can motivate myself to do it 🤔

And of course, the comic advice asks... these ones admittedly I do tend to actually move into my drafts because I really, REALLY do want to respond to them, but I'm also not someone to half-ass responses to questions like that. That is a bit of a bad habit on my end because it often means I'm spending crazy amounts of time going over topics that can be researched, but I also just really love talking about comics so it doesn't feel good to get a comic advice ask and just leave it at "idk just start" like yeah, do that, but also I want to pass on all the things I WISH I had known when I was first starting out and I'm glad people see me as someone to learn those things from! So when it comes to those asks, don't worry, I'm picking away at them <3 (but also man, I should probably just like... put together some kind of hitchhiker's guide to comic making or something huh LOL)

Anyways! I do have a lot of unanswered asks and honestly, I'm not really one to delete them, even if I don't get back to some of them it is still nice to read them in their own little curated space separate from my main blog, it's kind of like a personal comment section between myself and those of you who took the time to write <3 The only asks I tend to outright delete are ones that are just like, way too bad faith to even want to give any attention to, or bot spam lmao But for the majority of y'all who have sent genuine asks to my inbox and never saw a response and worry that I might have ignored it or deleted it, I hope you can have reassurance in knowing that they are all still there and even if I can't make time every day to respond to them, receiving all your personal takes about LO and your amazing feedback and kind words about LR is something I'm always excited to see whenever that little notification pops up in my Inbox tab. I see you and appreciate you <3

[randomdragonfires]

I'm truly sorry for the hate you've been receiving on your recent chapter. I have to be real, those types of comments really make me cringe and want to distance myself from these reader/oc fics. As someone who's typically shy, I'm trying to be better at leaving comments, but then I see these individuals getting way too personal about fictional characters and it reminds me of creepy men's comments on my OF account. It's when parasocial relationships and self-inserts become too intense, and I always see the same culprits leaving bizarre remarks about Alys under these stories. It takes away from the enjoyment of reading modern adaptations featuring Aemond who is already a complex enough character. Knowing that the reader or OC will most likely be portrayed positively, it's insane how possessive they become over Aemond in these situations. I only got into Hotd after season 2 and just started reading Aemond fics a month ago, but every time I come across a reader story involving Alys, there's always some obsessive commenter losing their mind because Aemond isn't treating the reader like they want him to.

Hi anon!

First off, thank you so much for reaching out. Although, I feel the need to let you know - I've seen horrible stuff in this fandom, and even though what I got was a bit mean, I'm quite comforted by the fact that it could be much worse haha. Probably not the right way to look at it, but that's all the space I'm willing to give to strangers on tumblr lol.

I don't know if it's a parasocial relationship so to speak; honestly, I don't know the subject well enough to even see if it is that, actually. But I can see that people are usually very inclined towards the OCs/readers - and perhaps that contributes towards their feelings.

I've been talking about the unwarranted Alys Rivers hate that I've been seeing, especially since I posted the last chapter of Time Can't Stop Me.... One thing that came up in every conversation is that we tend to look at fantasy or period dramas through a modern lens. It is automatically assumed that our values are a part of the construct of the fictional world - when in fact, grooming, as a concept, did not exist at all in Westeros. Doesn't make grooming okay - I'm just saying that it wasn't even recognized as a crime in the canon setup.

Westeros is a male-dominated world, and an absolute monarchy at that. Doesn't matter if you're eight or eighty, if a prince stands opposite you, you have absolutely no power unless you're a bloody king. Because grooming was not a concept in Westeros, I don't understand how people blame and hate Alys, rather than the unhinged killer prince who rode a sentient war machine lmao - anything she had over him was purely her own, and was she was definitely not helped by the society or people around her.

But maybe that's just me wdyk.

The show's portrayal of Alys is clearly far from the negative connotations that have been associated with her here. The book doesn't divulge much. I'm genuinely confused as to why this is happening lol

Anyway - so sweet of you to check in. Thank you!

[victimeyez]

Me and my buddy stumbled on your writing andnow we're hate reading just to see how low you're willing to go for the shock factor. So far the Enema Bag Shiver is the funniest, it has turned into our favorite character so far, but the #1 is still the toddler costume for the pedophile implications. To be honest its brave you included that in a story all about kinks you personally have :D Anyway I'm sure its important to the plot too. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to saturday :)

Idk man, kinda sounds like you're my biggest fan.

This story has not been updated regularly until very recently, and It's been ongoing for almost a year. Are you on my taglist? Would you like to be?

I'm not sure how you would stumble across my content. No one has a strictly My Little Pony blog and then randomly reblogs my work. Everything I write is tagged to hell and back, and is exclusively shared within the whump community. Obviously something attracts you to whump, and I write whump. My blog is labeled Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. If you look in the bag and yell at me that you find a dead dove in there, that's not on me.

You have to be actively checking my blog, because you've sent me multiple anon messages, and check to see if I've answered them. When I don't within a few days, you still want my attention so you send more. You want to read the story, and you openly enjoy it, but you're having a hard time reconciling the judgement you make on me with the fact that you genuinely like my content. So you eagerly read it, but send me anon hate so you can still give yourself a big pat on the back and feel like you have a moral superiority. Your case isn't special. It is incredibly common, and certainly nothing new.

What if you could just enjoy the things you like? There's a whole community here that shares your interests and has fun interacting with it. You don't have to put it on your resume, but there's a space here that is appropriate for it. It involves sensitive content, sure, whump is a facet of horror. Torture scenes are incredibly common, even in mainstream media. Game of Thrones featured graphic rape scenes and incest, yet it has unbelievable mainstream appeal. It's okay to like content that involves mature themes and touches on sensitive topics, and the majority of people do.

A lot of people have a hard time being genuine about their interests, whether they carry a taboo or are just considered cringe. I realized years ago that by owning the things I enjoy, no one can hurt me with it. I was a superwholock teenager to the core. I am bad at ice skating and swimming! I'm a fat little boy and I dance funny!!! When you refuse to be ashamed, other people have no power over you. In fact, they start to feel more comfortable being themselves around you, too.

I'm not stooping to anything. I'm an adult with a busy life, who chose to post my writing online, fully knowing the possible consequences, and being fine with them. I have made interactive elements of the story so people can vote for what they want to see - and when I listed the crazy BDSM couple Lisa and Mark, they won the poll by a landslide. There are plenty of people who can distinguish fiction from the author's core morals, and I'm not interested in pandering to anyone who doesn't.

The shock value comment is interesting - if I'm just trying to shock people, why would I hold back? Why didn't I write a whole disgusting scene with the enema? Why have I stated that I will not be writing any kind of age play scenes in this series? There is a plot, character arcs, backstories... Sarge could not be more of a parody unless I had him wear a shirt that said "I am a caricature of the american military industrial complex, republican politics, imperialism, and the intersection it finds with men who struggle socially and turn to red pilled reddit and toxic masculinity as a balm". Seems a bit on the nose, though. Do you think all content that involves horror or mature content is only designed to shock?

If you think I've got this all wrong, and I'm a huge pretentious asshole, that doesn't change anything for me. But you have committed yourself an awful lot to something you supposedly hate. Why don't you just stop reading? You won't even come off of anon, because you know I'd just block you and move on, and I think you would be upset if you couldn't read it anymore. I'm just another freak on the internet, right? Block me and move on. Prove me wrong. Throw a party that you trumped me and won. Feel superior. Do a backflip. Good for you buddy. Or maybe tell me, who actually is your favorite character?

TLDR; you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[jewelledfoxes]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @medusasfinalgirl for tagging me!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 16 atm! (1 anonymous) Which is wild to me. English was my least favourite subject in school.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 198,609 which, again, absolutely wild.

3. What fandoms do you write for? At the minute, just stranger things. But my early fics were Game of Thrones and Bridgerton.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I'm just going off ST fics so:

(Anything You) Want - friends to lovers mutual pining Nice (Just Ain't My Type) - silly celebrity rivals au (I Don't Have To Tell You But) You're The Only One - AYW college sequel This Be The Verse - on a theme of parenthood Stay - AYW Eddie POV

I only consider 2 of these to actually be amongst my "best" fics tho.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I definitely try my best to respond to everything as quickly as possible. I feel very honoured that there are people out there who take time out of their day to let me know they enjoyed. Makes my day every single time!!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oooh okay, Haunt Me, Then! (kinktober spectrophilia fic) for now, but it's very possible that She's Got A Boyfriend Anyway (classic cheating-on-Jason fic) might beat it when I get round to finishing it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know if any of my fics have particularly strong happy endings, but off the top of my head it's got to be This Be The Verse.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Defo not on hellcheer ones! Everyone's so nice here!!! <3 My very first fic got SO MUCH hate on it but that's because I wrote it when I was 17 and it WAS terrible.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Really never thought I would, but more of my fics have smut in them than not these days lol. Idk, something about hellcheer just really made me go ...these two should be going at it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I don't, and I'd be very surprised if I ever do tbh.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope again!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, and I'm not really sure I can ever imagine myself co-writing.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I mean, I've not written 13 fics for any ship other than hellcheer so that's something. In terms of longevity, Katniss/Peeta and Finnick/Annie still have the same effect on me as they did when I first read the book at like 13 years old.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? What a stressful question! I doubt I'll finish off Hard to Forgive (Hard to Forget) because it would be one of those proper multi-chapters (40k words ish by my estimates) and I just don't think I could do it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Hmm I'm not sure. I used to be quite good at setting a scene but I think I'm losing that a little. If I'm honest, recently I've been really proud of the sheer volume of what I've been writing and my willingness to venture out of my comfort zone.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? God, where to start. Weak dialogue, my repetitive writing style, difficulty writing endings, complete inability to do anything concisely. But I genuinely feel like I'm slowly improving bit by bit!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I did French and Spanish in school, French to a slightly higher level than Spanish, so I'd feel comfortable including either of those at a school level (like them trying out saying things like "at the weekend I like to go to the park" and "I have two brothers and no sisters" in a class) but wouldn't want to risk anything more complex!

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Hunger Games. I never posted it anywhere, but I still have my old drafts for fics that I look back on every now and again just to see how far I've come!

20. Favorite fic you've written? So hard to choose! This Be The Verse because it felt so immensely personal to write or Cherry (sapphic hellcheer) because it was a long time coming. Both are eclipsed by a soon-to-be-uploaded kinktober foot fic that I will reveal is called Heart and Sole (and yes it's as dumb and silly as the title implies)!

Okay that was fun! I'm not 100% sure on who I follow writes but I'm p sure @gingertumericlemon, @bibiche007 and @achilleanenjolras all do, so would love to hear your responses if you fancy it!

[asleepinawell]

Been having a lot of Thoughts about the nier series recently and the larger themes of both games and wanted to jot them down and toss them into the void of the internet.

Massive spoilers for nier automata follow, including for ending e. Do not read this if you ever intend to play nier automata. There are spoilers for nier replicant as well, though not for ending e.

One of the biggest themes both nier games tackle is the tragedy of an uncaring universe. Bad things happen to good people, people who think they're good and doing the right thing find out they were actually committing atrocities, the very idea that there's 'good' and 'bad' people is dissected and rejected. At the end of the day, the universe doesn't give a shit about any of us and none of it matters. Enjoy your existential despair!

In nier replicant, the main character starts off as an optimistic young boy who wants to save, not only his sister, but the entire world. After the time skip, nier is a young man whose optimism has (partially) been tarnished and whose goal has narrowed down to just saving his sister. As you move through each route you understand more and more how tragic the world is and how, despite your best intentions, you are only adding to the tragedy of the world. The original 4 endings of nier replicant are all tragic in some way. Ending D has a glimmer of hope in it in the form of nier being able to save kainé at the cost of his own existence, but it's a bittersweet ending and the world is ultimately doomed anyway.

Which brings us to nier automata. Even more so than replicant, automata hammers home the meaningless of everything, the uncaring universe, tragedy both avoidable and unavoidable. The main characters are locked in an endless loop of violence and despair. The worst that could happen, does, again and again. It thrives off the type of tragedy porn I usually hate.

Except....

Except it doesn't. If endings a and b are the opening statement, endings c and d are the facts and body of the essay, but then there's ending e, the concluding paragraph which takes everything we've been told and gives you the chance to draw your own conclusion from it.

Route e starts after you've gotten both ending c and d and is no longer about the characters in the game at all. Route e is about you, the player, and what you believe. It says "we've given you a story of complete despair, we've shown you the universe is unfair and doesn't give a fuck about you, we've shown you things that end in tragedy. despite all of this, do you still believe it's worth fighting for the hope of something better?"

And then it asks you to prove it.

Route e is the ending every fan has asked for when they've said "I'll fight the creators to give my favs a happy ending." Today is your lucky day!

Route e is the ending credits of the game, except that the ending credits have turned into a bullet hell mini game. In fighting the actual credits themselves, you are fighting the game devs. You are saying fuck you I don't believe that everything is pointless. Fighting for better is always worth it. The meaning that we imbue in life is important to us and that matters.

The bullet hell of the end credits starts out fairly simple and gets harder and harder as you go, lasting something like 15 minutes total, which is a brutally long time to be playing something that requires split second timing and 100% of your focus. It's meant to feel insurmountable, just like the challenges the characters in the game faced (the larger plot challenges, not the combat). You will likely die a lot and check points are few and far between.

But there's more to it than that. The first time you die, a prompt comes up:

And then when you die again:

Except now, there’s a message on the screen. A message that appears to be from another player, somewhere in the world.

And again:

(this one really fucked me up, but that’s for a different post).

And then finally:

(thank you user MR-YE-1996)

When you accept the rescue offer, you go back to the bullet hell again, but now you have a wall of other players around your weak little avatar, shielding you from harm. The music, which has been a single vocal track up until now, gains an entire chorus of voices to represent the army of actual players who’ve shown up to save you (and there’s a lot I could say about the use of the (exquisitely good) music in the nier games, and especially about the difference in lyrical themes between ashes of dreams and weight of the world). Every time a bullet hits one of the players surrounding you, there’s a message saying that user’s data has been lost. Users from all over the world are sacrificing themselves to help you. It’s a very nice, heart-warming moment that you still don’t understand the full impact of quite yet.

After you beat the credits, you’re rewarded by a final cutscene. The android protagonists have been reconstructed and will receive a second chance at life. The narration at this point talks about how life exists within the spiral of life and death we are all trapped in. One of the two pods talking points out that even though the androids are being given a second chance at life, there’s a possibility that things will go just as poorly once again. And the other pod agrees, but adds: “However, the possibility of a different future also exists.”

And then the scene ends with this quote: “A future is not given to you. It is something you must take for yourself.”

And this is really the final conclusion of the game. There is no inherent meaning in the universe, so the meaning we give our lives is the most meaningful thing. (And the ‘you’ here isn’t necessarily an individual either. It can be, or it can be humanity as a whole, or even one group). And you, the player, thought that it was worth fighting to give these characters a second chance, and other players out there in the world thought it was worth helping you to do so.

It’s such a wonderfully beautiful piece of meta interpretation posing as a game ending, and also a departure from the final conclusion of previous Yoko Taro games. It feels like a much more mature and nuanced interpretation of the world than the ending of replicant was (I won’t comment on the new ending e of replicant just yet since it didn’t come out that long ago). (Also, for the record, I love nier replicant and the characters in it with my entire heart. This post is not bashing it).

But the game has one more surprise in store for you. After the cutscene ends, you’re given one last choice. The game asks if you have any interest in helping other players the way you were helped. And if you say yes, you’re told that the only way you can do this is to sacrifice all your save data.

I think that sacrifice hits differently for different people. Some people genuinely won’t mind that at all. As someone who probably still has save data from games I played 20 years ago, it felt like a gut punch. To me, save data represents all the time and emotion and energy I’ve put into a game. Games are so deeply important to me in so many ways and have been since my childhood when they were one of the few ways I could escape from a lot of terrible shit going on in my life. (There’s a reason my blog title is what it is). I could talk a lot more about that point, but I’ll leave it by saying that when I saw what the game was asking of me it felt like someone had knocked my legs out from under me.

For more practical players, it also is locking you out of chapter select, the best way to go back and get all the things you missed and grab the achievements/trophies you still need.

The game will point out that you’ll get nothing in return for this (not a lie, there’s no secret reward), that you will likely never know if or who you helped, that you won’t be thanked, that the person you help could be someone you intensely dislike, etc. And with all of this comes the realization that all those people who came to help you in the credits had already done this. Those people whose data was sacrificed to help you get to the final cutscene had already sacrificed their save data to help you.

We’ve now gone from a world where everything is meaningless, to a world where other real actual human beings out there have sacrificed something that represented hours of their time and a varying amount of emotional investment without any hope of reward to help a stranger see a message of hope.

When I was younger, I was more drawn to dark, hopeless stories. Stories about how dark and meaningless the world was. The world was a terrible place then too. 9/11 happened when I was in highschool (an incident that influenced yoko taro’s creation of nier replicant and had a huge impact on me at the time), the pointless wars that happened after and the recession and a million other things seemed to infuse everything with hopelessness. In that world, stories about everything being meaningless and hopeless felt correct. They felt validating. Yes, everything really does suck that much!

That sort of story lost its appeal for me later on. Pointless and horrible things continued to happen, and still continue to happen. The world events of the last few years have been an unnerving reliving of those earlier years, except even worse. The cycles of tragedy are still there with no end in sight. I’m exhausted from all of it. It really does feel hopeless a lot.

But stories that stop at that point no longer appeal to me. Stories like nier automata--stories that say yes, things are terrible, but there’s always hope, you can create your own meaning, it is always worth it to fight for better even if you fail, your life is worthwhile simply for existing--those stories are the ones I think we all need more than anything.