#anyway idk maybe some guys are just ‘ easy’ or maybe i just seem ‘easy’ but i think i have wide dating options and that

[arolesbianism]

There's a well 🎉

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ my life with you (that’s way over now)

synopsis. some people get drunk calls from their exes, maybe even flowers with hand written apologies. you get a knock on your front door with two random kids and a murder case

length. 3.0k words (once more it was supposed to be short)

contents. exes to lovers, ex boyfriend! suguru, gn! reader, slightly deviated from canon (he doesn’t kill the entire village + doesn’t defect), slightly a fix-it fic, blood, murder, child abuse + neglect (canon events with suguru and the twins), angst to slight fluff with hopeful ending (pretty much happy tbh), mentions of family + kids, suguru pretty much being a broke and depressed lil guy lollll

notes. idk what this is but it was written for me i just wanted to write it so here. take it and look away

right before you graduate, you and suguru break up. you don’t want to, but he insists it’s only fair—he can hardly be there for you the way you need him to be, he says. something’s changed in him, it has since that day last year. but still—you don’t want to break up.

so you argue, he stays firm, you cry, he doesn’t change his mind, you break up, he leaves, and the world momentarily collapses.

it’s the way things work, you suppose. they don’t quite always go the way you planned. you graduate not long after that, leaving him behind to throw yourself into work while you toe into the baby steps of adulthood. real adulthood—the jujutsu world has a way of thrusting you into that faster than normal, anyway.

by the time it’s late summer, you get your first apartment. it’s a rundown place—the bathroom tiles look dirty no matter how much you scrub, the walls haven’t been repainted in what seems like decades, and the thermostat never works properly to feel like what the temperature indicates.

but it’s yours—you leave jujutsu high fresh into the real world, paying your taxes and buying your groceries all while you exorcise curses for a living. barely an adult, barely getting by, barely alive as you get up each day and live.

and then suguru comes knocking on your door half past midnight.

“hey,” he says nonchalantly, like there’s nothing wrong with standing there—but you know him better than that. you can hear that detachment in his voice as he stares between your eyes, but not quite in them.

“you—” you start, staring at him incredulously before you decide to give up. there are no surprises with suguru, not anymore you suppose. you don’t really know him anymore. “suguru, it’s midnight,” you sigh—and that’s when you see them: two small children that can’t be much older than five.

bruises are clear as day on their arms, even while standing in the darkness outside. there’s also the slight swollen curve of their eyes, and you can’t help but notice how they’re practically skin and bone. children who have probably not yet even lived for five winters, and you almost wonder if they’ve been through more than you have in you’re entire lifetime.

suguru clears his throat before you can stare at them any longer.

“this is nanako,” he gestures at the blonde, “and this is mimiko.” the brunette one seems more shy, curls behind his leg further as her name is uttered.

you don’t know what to say, so you settle for smiling—you’re not sure if it comes out too genuine, but you try. it’s all you can offer, really.

“hello,” you hum for a moment. and then you turn back to suguru, “it’s midnight.”

“i know.”

“you should be at school grounds.”

“i know.”

“suguru,” you sigh, eyeing the blood stained on his cheek. you don’t like where this is heading. there’s a sick feeling twisting in your gut, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling.

bile. you can taste it. something’s not right.

“where did you find these kids?”

“on a mission,” he says simply, “village heads were keepin’ em locked in a cage like animals. can you believe it?”

again, that casual tone. it almost as easy as humming your favorite tune, as smooth as your skin on freshly washed sheets, as quiet as the first day of snow when the world is still. but something about it is hollow—something’s not right.

“why’d you bring them here? instead of school? shoko should look at them—”

“i told them they’d be safe here.”

they’d be safe anywhere, you think. as long as suguru’s there too. as long they’re under his watchful gaze, nothing could hope to beat down on their youth like it already has their whole lives. but you don’t say that—something tells you he won’t believe you.

maybe not right now.

you don’t look at him. you can’t. something’s not right, but there are children present. so you throw on your best smile and open the door wider, offering them to come in.

your apartment is small, just one bedroom and one bath. there’s hardly enough food for yourself for tonight, you still have to go grocery shopping this week. the missions were lined up back to back to back—but that’s just life as a sorcerer, you suppose. most days you hardly have the energy to eat more than a few apple slices when you return home anyway.

you wave your hand at your place dramatically as you say, “come on in, ladies. your humble abode awaits.”

they giggle slightly at that—it’s the first time suguru hears them laugh. you have that effect, he knew you would. it’s why he brings them here and not there. and…well, there’s a more complicated issue at hand. but that’s for later.

right now…well, for right now, he lets you guide them to the bathroom.

“you have money on you right?” you ask. he blinks, staring at you for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

“spent the last of it on cigarettes this morning.”

great, you think, before sighing and trudging over to grab your wallet as you press a few crisp bills of cash in his hands.

“here.”

“what’s this for?” he raises a brow.

“go buy them clothes,” you look at him like he’s stupid. he might be, in all honesty. just a little. “i’m not putting them back in…those once they’re all cleaned.”

“wha—i’ve never shopped for children before,” he gapes, “and i don’t know what size they are, or—”

“figure it out, suguru,” you say tiredly. it’s half past midnight—by now, you’d be passed out from your mission. he seems to take the hint. “and bring some snacks too. should be enough.”

“fine,” he grumbles—and then he’s walking out the door.

for a second, it feels familiar watching him leave. but then you decide not to dwell on it—there are much more important matters at hand.

you turn to the two girls before crouching in front of them with a gentle smile, “who’s ready for bubbles?”

——————

nanako and mimiko have never had a bubble bath before. you decide to let them taste the first tendrils of youth by splashing in your tiny bathtub while you find suguru for some much needed answers.

he sits on your couch, shirt wrinkled and hair falling loose and blood still staining his cheek as he hunches over his legs, elbows resting on his thighs as he thinks. and thinks. and thinks and thinks and thinks.

you wonder about what—what could be plaguing his mind? a lot you’re sure, but this isn’t suguru. not the one you know, at least.

the one you knew, the voice in your mind hisses—do you really even know him at all anymore?

“so,” you sit on the opposite side of the sofa, curling your legs under yourself as you eye him from the side, “care to explain?”

“i killed them,” he mutters. you go still. “the village heads. i did it without hesitating. that’s bad, right?”

“well fuck, suguru,” you breathe, restless, “that’s certainly not good.”

“i had a reason,” he argues, “all i needed was one.”

“there’s nothing that excuses murder—”

“oh, but we can excuse locking kids in cages, is that right? why? cause they’re sorcerers? they’re not—they’re children.”

“i didn’t say that,” you rub your forehead. this is all too much. too, too much.

being a sorcerer is too much. being in front of suguru is too much.

you finish your third year with a broken heart and graduate in spring—at one point you’d hoped graduating wouldn’t change anything between you and your friends, between you and the boy you loved. everything would be the same, even if you’d leave the place that held you all together—you’d still find a way back to each other, you liked to think. but then it all changes before you can even comprehend.

haibara is dead. nanami is hardly coping. gojo is everywhere but here. shoko is in high demand. suguru is hardly present even when he’s right in front of you. nothing is the same and you don’t think it ever will be. you lose the one thing you count on being yours forever, and now, he’s right here again. but not really here—not with you so much as near you.

suguru has killed people, sitting on your couch with you while the two children he finds are bathing happily in your bathtub.

there’s some irony in that—maybe in a perfect world, suguru and you would sit on the couch, much happier than right now, though. maybe you’d be tucked under his arm and curled into his side as you both chuckle at the happy squeals in the distance. maybe in a perfect world.

but this world is cruel. too cruel, in fact. it forces children to grow up too fast during some times and lets adults continue to be children during others. it’s sickening and all too much.

but this is the world you live in. there’s not much to change in that—not much you can change. maybe sitting on the couch with suguru is what you should be grateful for, whether it’s in this world or another.

“i came here because it’s safe,” he mumbles, quieter this time, “i don’t…i didn’t trust anywhere else.”

something tells you he’s not talking about the kids. you look at him for the first time that night—really look at him. you take in the lost weight, the sunken cheekbones and the bruised under eyes from the lack of sleep. the cracked lips from being chapped and the dry hair that’s lost its normal shine.

something’s not right—you won’t be able to mend it, but you think you can keep it from getting worse.

“it is safe here,” you murmur, nodding in assurance, “but you can’t…i can’t let you do that. not again.”

“what? kill people?” he snorts in dry amusement. it’s quiet for a bit—you open your mouth a few times like you want to say something, but nothing ever comes. he finally decides to fill the silence. “i don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore. people shouldn’t kill. but some people shouldn’t live.”

“i think jujutsu is supposed to save people. not everyone will deserve it, but i suppose we wouldn’t be much better than them if we used it for anything other than that,” you whisper. he looks over at you at that, peers at you deep in thought as he contemplates your words.

“that’s funny,” he chuckles, “i used to think that too.”

“what changed?”

“everything.”

“then change it some more,” you shrug, “until you think it again.” he looks at you incredulously at that, eyeing you like you’re crazy.

“you’re an idiot,” he scoffs.

“says the killer,” you scoff back. you look at him this time, in the eyes and full of conviction, full of promises you couldn’t make before but fully intend to keep now. “don’t kill anyone else and i’ll help you. with those kids, i mean.”

“you want to co parent with me?” he chuckles.

co parent—the word makes your stomach twist. even after all this time, after all the hurt and pain, suguru is easy to imagine that with. he’s easy to imagine anything in the future with, really. he’s always been perfect like that, but you’re starting to realize there’s a lot more imperfections to him than you initially thought.

but it’s okay, you think. if you didn’t stop loving him before, you certainly don’t stop now. blood on his hands or not, he’s yours—even if he doesn’t want to be.

“don’t say it like that,” you murmur softly, hugging your arms around yourself, “please.”

you let yourself be vulnerable for just a moment—not because you want to, but because he needs to know. he needs to know how unfair he’s being and how patient you are with him despite it all. you deserve that much.

“sorry,” he mutters—he has the decency to look away and drop his smile.

“you don’t kill anyone, and i’ll look for a bigger place. deal?”

“for us…all?”

“yes. just until you figure it out, i’ll help you out with them. and then you’ll responsibly use your paycheck as a full time special grade sorcerer and maybe send a few checks my way to say thanks to my good will.”

he chuckles at that, shaking his head. “i’ll repay you,” he hums, tapping his foot. he does that when he’s nervous, you still remember—you could never forget anything about him. “i…i owe you, anyway.”

it’s quiet some more. you don’t know what to say, and quite frankly, you don’t want to say anything at all. but once more, he fills the silence for you after a while.

“what if…” he starts, “what if i want to co parent with you?”

“you dumped me,” you point out, unable to hide the bitterness any longer. it cracks from your tongue through your words like honey that went dry. “remember that? cause i sure remember.”

you’re an adult now, just barely, but an adult all the same. you should handle this the mature way—but you’re still young. still hurt. still blanketed in the fresh wave of nostalgia that leaves you aching with grief.

so you let yourself be bitter. suguru can handle that much after he left you to pick up your shattered pieces.

“i didn’t want to,” he says quietly. “i never wanted to.”

“but you did.”

“i didn’t…you didn’t deserve to see me unstable.”

“you’re not very stable right now either,” you pinch your nose tiredly, “you killed people, suguru. but somehow you can manage to have two kids now. but not me.”

“they need me,” he defends.

“i needed you too,” your voice cracks.

you did. you needed him—and you like to think he needed you too. maybe it wasn’t perfect, nothing ever is, especially not when you fight curses and see their ugliness every day. but that’s the best part of having each other—having something pretty amidst the hideousness.

he left you with more ugly than you knew what to do with. it’s unfair, you think for a moment, unfair that two girls who hardly know him at all have more of him than you ever did. he’d never abandon them—that much you know for sure.

you’ve laughed with him, held him and wiped his tears and kissed him under the moon until it became the sun. you’ve seen him with his hair down and his guard lowered. you’ve seen him in every way possible but in the end, he walked away.

they’ve seen him for less than a day and somehow, he’ll be there forever. there’s something unfair about that and you hate that you’re bitter with children but the world in cruel like that.

suguru slowly inches over—it’s cautious at first, and then he fills the gap all at once. you pretend you don’t feel the way your thighs touch.

“i need you too,” he admits, voice small. there’s a small, shaky crack that eats away at your heart, trying to gnaw into the raw part. the easy to reach part. the part you shouldn’t let him see anymore. “i…i always needed you. i’m sorry.”

“we were supposed to need each other,” you sniffle.

“we do,” he slowly slumps his head onto your shoulder. you let him stay there—don’t dare move a muscle in case he pulls away. “you’re the only thing that keeps me stable. i don’t think that’s fair.”

“needing someone isn’t unfair, suguru,” you scoff.

“okay,” he grabs your hand, squeezing. for the first time, he lets it all go. lets tears slowly slip from the corners of his eyes as he slumps into your side. he cries for riko. for kuroi. for satoru and the time he lost him for a moment. for their youth. for haibara. for not being enough even when he shouldn’t have had to be. somewhere amidst all that, your arms wrap around him and he’s pulled into your chest—that familiar feeling of your fingers threading into his hair makes the world start spinning again. “i need you,” he chokes.

“okay,” you say shakily, nodding slowly as you let yourself hope, “as long as you don’t stop this time.”

he buries his face into your chest, and you kiss the crown of his head.

cruelty is an unstoppable force. your love for suguru is an immovable object. neither is going anywhere, but perhaps they can coexist.

“satoru’s gonna have a massive headache when he explains this one to the higher ups,” you snort after a while.

he laughs into your shirt, real for the first time in a long time. “i’ll buy him something sweet. should make up for it,” he hums. and then he looks up, smiles innocently as he asks, “wanna lend me some cash? i’ll pay you back when i’m a responsible handler of money.”

“you’re hopeless,” you chuckle, “but at least you’re here.”

————— BONUS —————

“okay,” satoru starts, holding his hands up in surrender as he stands before the higher ups. damn old geezers, he thinks. “so he did kill a person or two…but—”

“there is no excuse,” a voice hisses.

“he didn’t mean it,” he huffs indignantly, “it was an accident. those can happen sometimes.”

“what—”

“he’s going through a phase, okay? let him work through it, he’ll be fine.”

“that’s not—”

“i’ll let him off the hook this time,” satoru grins, pushing his glasses up his nose as he shrugs, “he’s got a family now, y’know? kids and a spouse, and they’re looking for a home. can’t take that away from them.”

“he’s not even married—”

“it’ll happen eventually,” he insists, “so let’s all just calm down, yeah? great, thanks!”

“gojo—”

“see ya!”

he walks out, flashing an obnoxious peace sign at the higher ups as they hiss at him to return as he’s walking out. that takes care of that, he thinks, as long as suguru doesn’t make his life harder and kill more people, he can handle it—you did promise him kikufuku if he does.

satoru is babygirl defender no. 1 ain’t nobody doing it like my guy 🤞🏽 he would be loyal to you while you were in jail no doubts

[fawnwife]

Other than the guy from the hotel from the last couple of posts, I had fucked this other guy also in his 20s with an amazing six pack n really fancy apartment. he caught me at the store and said i was really cute and grabbed my number, which was a huge surprise!! so ive fucked two ppl since the falling out with my fiance* a few months ago and multiple really attractive / successful guys have approached me since ive come back home, which makes me think him saying “subtly” mean things about me all the time was just to make me feel unlovable/ unattractive to feed into me already feeling insecure. But how i think of myself is, idk i think i look regular, there are lots of really pretty girls and offline i have never really thought crazy high of my looks, im just neutral and like showing off my body cause ive been coming into my sexuality ** just recently. so idk why he would do that. n i doubt its bc of the blog, since like i said before, he understood its for just reblogging sexy stuff when im alone n horny or casual flirting with limits or content making, and he had his own stuff he would do/ allowed to do within limits too that we agreed on so idk if its a double standard thing or something else?

[wafywaify]

im so tired but i want to get this out before i forget. this might end up uncomprehensible byt whatever. anyways.

shen qingqiu. shizun. shen yuan, right? that guy. for some reason i have this really strange itch that just- a singer shen yuan au would cure. like im thinking barbie princess and the pauper type singer au. like he was transmigrated a bit after uh binghes blakening ig. maybe he just got out of the abyss, right? on his way to go torture his shizun and all that gof stuff.

shen yuan was just placed into this npc type guy, not relevant to the plot really. maybe hes a brother to uh one of bingges future wife? but anyways, his family's pretty poor so they do all they can to make a few extra coins. he finds out he has a pretty nice voice from um, singing his little sister to sleep? something sweet like that. his family urges him to give it a try, telling him everyone would love his voice. after getting over his embarrassment, he gives it a shot. I imagine he like tries to remember certain songs from yknow. barbie.. barbie songs. i love Barbie.

and hes all like "well no ones gonna recognize it ill just say i wrote it its fineeee" and then that kind of backfires on him when airplane stumbles upon a random dude singing "i need to know" from the hit barbie movie babrie as the island princess. (im just like you, youre just like me!!) actually it'd be funny if he only sung barbie songs. like theyre just melted into his brain after all the times his little sister had forced him to watch them with her. anyways, they hit it off.. in more ways then one. that sounds like a sex joke, its not. im implying he beat bro up. pidw author and all.

anways uh maybe airplane like helps him out and like they get shen yuan to start performing for like important things. idk. uh. good entertainment for the richer ppl yknow. hes become pretty popular now. its hard to book him, with all the requests hes getting now. now this is where bingge comes in. bro needs a performer for an upcoming.. wedding? i guess? he needs to entertain guests so he books the most popular guy right? shen yuan, upon realizing binghe, the heavenly demon emperor, wants to hire him, absolutely freaks out.

he doesnt want anything to do with the protagonist!! he was living a pretty good life!! and every man that comes into contact with binghe either ends in a gruesome death or are thrown into cellars! thats just how pidw was written!! so obviously, the best course of action is to ignore it! ignore everything! uhhh.. bad idea, really. he basically just sends a letter back saying "haha sorry cant, busy!!!"

and binghe.. binghe does not take that all too well. who would've thought. not shen yuan. who dared ignore the literal emperor!? conqueror of realms??!! and so, he sets out to go see for himself how "busy" this lowly singer is!! que dramatic scene where binghe walks into a pub and theres like at least 50 or so people crowded to the back. hes confused at first, before he hears this almost angelic voice. it seems to wash over the entire pub, entrancing its residents. like a siren calling out.

there isnt exactly a "stage" in this pub, so he cant really see whos singing. he quickly makes his way towards the crowd and pushed his way through. after the people realize who he is, its easy enough. his eyes land on one of the most beautiful humans he's ever seen. his eyes are almost crystal clear in this lighting. a warmish brown, almost orange. his auburn brown hair is fully down, embellished with golden jewels and hair tinsel. a strange look.. but it works on him. and his skin..

before he can ogle anymore, the angelic mans voice tapers off, leaving the crowd disappointed. binghe looks up to see the other staring at him, eyes wide.

might continue this tmr or like fix it up a bit.. but yeah.. singer shen yuan save me.. please i need him so badly. also i love fics that have bingge and shen yuan bickering theyre always so good. i love them being silly in strange ways. part 2!!!

[tyunn1ngz]

hueningkai nsfw alphabet

cw: gn!reader i think ? to the best of my ability anyways and no gender is stated regardless

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

total softie!!!!!!:( wants to be held and wants to hold u and its just oh-so delicate and tender just two lovers in ur own little safety bubble— giggles w hushed pinky promises that u will meet in ur dreams that night

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself his lips and his fingers— his lips on urs, his fingers in u; his fingers in ur mouth, he’s obsessed w it all, he likes it so much

on u ur thighs and tummy!!! marking u up all over and squishing the skin under his fingertips, rubbing over ur tummy when hes inside u just to watch u squirm and gasp .. ( ；∀；)

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

his cock gets so wet when hes hard n he cums a lot its so cute really especially cuz he’d get so shy abt it <3

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

gets off to ur voice sometimes— like listens back to voice notes u’ll send him even if all u r doing is talking abt ur day and gets himself so hard out of nowhere he loves hearing u

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a big virgin w no idea what hes doing before u but thats ok!!!!! thats what practice is all abt !!!!!!! more fun for u especially bc hes such an eager learner <3

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

spooning or riding — spooning is so intimate and he can feel up ur thighs and tummy so nicely that way, or dip his hands to bring u more pleasure to ur sex; and u riding him means u can take the reins and he’s very into that! use him to get urself off honey!

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

silly for the most part, its more relaxing and comforting that way, sex isn’t some performance between u two. but sometimes it feels like his brain just melts and pours out his ears so thats when it’ll seem more serious, bc u’ll have just a soft big eager puppy on ur hands then :<

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

for my own personal bias. No shaving. all his body hair in tact. everyone listen to me bc that is SEXY. his happy trail ohhgod

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very intimate, has to be touching u at all times it’d be like chopping a limb off if u told him he wasnt allowed to touch u. loves rubbing his cheeks against urs idk thats just a thing in my head

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

cracks knuckles what do u guys know abt PLUSHIE HUMPER kai who steals sprays of ur perfume or lets u cuddle a specific one so it’ll smell like u when he fucks it later and cries ur name softly … what do u KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

nipple play. make this boy cum from just playing w his nipples i swear to god. and when hes more on the dominant sides of things definitely dacryphilia imo

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

just the bedroom !!! but maybe a quickie in the bathroom at a party could be up his alley too whos the say ;p

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

watching u get changed or get ready in general, defo also gets so hard when u do smth as simple as sit in his lap and move a little too much hes just too easy !!!!!!!!!!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing too rough and violent, and not heavy on the degradation either. just a tiny bit sometimes but hes more abt praise!! dont b too mean to him he’ll get stuck in his head :( not too fond of too much degradation towards u for this reason too! just a little if its what ur into but he prefers being nice to u its just in his nature no matter how bratty u get w him </3

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

a giver, bc it means he can make u feel good and also be between ur thighs which make for great earmuffs! not very good at it sometimes but his eagerness makes up for it!!!! other times he’s absolutely expert w his tongue its insane

he does love receiving tho!!!!! as much as he won’t admit it bc he thinks it’ll make him selfish for some reason Σ('◉⌓◉’) loves when u take him especially deep— rly makes his thighs shake and u have to keep ur hands on his hips to keep him from practically fucking ur throat >_>

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

gentle but kinda fast ? he gets so desperate and pathetic that he needs it to be faster but he can’t hurt u so he’s gentle by nature. he’ll get a lil rougher when he’s closer to cumming tho or if u rly push for it<3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

don’t happen often but when they do they’re the hottest thing in the world. he either goes so dumb hes basically melted into ur arms and pleading, almost in tears or! he’s finally treating u like u won’t break and just taking what he wants, whispering how good u feel and how a little part of him wants someone to walk in and see u breaking in his hold :3c

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

a little! nothing crazy but if theres a more tame fantasy u wanna try he’d defo be down, and he’s happy to tell u his own fantasies, even if his face burns up w embarrassment w every word. not too fond on risks, not big ones anyway but little thrills r always fun!!!! ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

doesnt last long the first round especially but he’ll go as many rounds as u want. obsessed w how u feel when u cum on his cock so if u orgasm once and its not w him inside u ur gonna be going again and even then it might not be enough he’ll be overstimulating the both of u to the heavens— just be aware of that !

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

lowk vibrator obsession, loves watching u use it, loves using it on himself, loves using it on u, u using it on him— u both using at the same time, pressed up against either side of it and crying into each others mouths .. could also see him loving the idea of having a fleshlight. Gulps. ＿|￣|○

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

teases u a lot when hes in charge just to see ur glassy eyes and pretty lips form a pout, but hes pretty hypocritical bc he doesnt like to be teased and he’ll get so pathetic when u do .. sigh

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

louder when hes closer to cumming, whimpers and gaspy moans that grow louder and higher in pitch the closer he gets, probably likes to stuff his face in a pillow or plushie to keep himself quiet bc he gets so embarrassed but he sounds so pretty :((((

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

never really puts u in ur place when u act bratty but one time he just snaps and ur legs were trembling for a good two days after; good thing he was back to his little angelic self and carried u everywhere

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

big hes hung asf. personally im a little more interested in the 50 pounds of ass he carries around but ig his cock is also important in this category

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HIGH! .. once he gets a taste of sex— of you, he is insatiable woooo boy

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

hes not conking out until ur asleep first!!!!!!! so however long ur awake for after all is done, he’s up too!!!! no matter how hard his eyelids try to droop closed ok and if ur not sleepy hes not either (he is but just keep talking ok he’ll keep fighting it off)

[strongermonster]

dealing with children right now is like a shitpost fever dream.

we walked them down to a big park today to do a little nature walk, maybe spend some time on the playground, a nice easy day out.

well we passed the one section of the park that has a skate park in it, and for some reason some teens had dragged a random toilet to the very edge of the (tiny) halfpipe, and were taking turns skating and doing weird tricks to try and make it fall without actually touching it? or maybe do the most stuff without making it fall? idk, i was not privy to the rules of Toilet Skate Trust Fall or whatever the fuck. seemed fun though.

anyways, all the little kids see a toilet out in the wild and immediately start screeching skibidi over and over like a hivemind, and line up along the chain-link fence like something out of a zombie movie, and will not be pried away from watching this if their lives depended on it.

the older handlers with me are doing the ">:/ my god, teens these days! ruffians! hooligans! i am calling the city forthwith to report these dastardly commode criminals!"

there's nothing else for me to do + i don't care about ratting these teens out, so i stand and watch too. they finally manage to dislodge the toilet, but it falls backwards the wrong way off the edge/out of our view, so i say "damn, they sent that stinker to the eeby deeby" which was a HIT with these kids, so they spent the rest of the time wandering around the park going "skibidi eeby deeby!"

when we got back, the older ladies were all up in arms about how strange and incomprehensible the whole thing was and how unruly the kids were, so i was trying to describe/explain it bc it really was just mostly funny, but the whole thing is so ??? and i would have to explain the memes, and it wasn't worth the effort, so i left them to moan about ~the state of the children these days!!~

anyways 10/10 day, we got to see geese chase after some food delivery guy on a bike

[rendy-a]

Hi, uhh I'm not really used to requests?

If you could do like a Self-aware TWST headcanons/fic idk

Like of the first years or Cater or.. Lilia idk

Thank you ♥︎

I feel like the theme here is both boys just seem to know too much about you.  They are so skilled at figuring out all your business and doing it in a way that leaves you oh so unaware.

He low-key cyber-stalks you online.  It’s easy for him because he probably helped you set up all your socials and knows the passwords.  Not that he intends to do anything BAD with that info.  He just likes to keep up with what’s going on in your head.

Ok, so maybe he sometimes deletes your DM’s.  Trust him, Player, you didn’t want to see that message anyway.  Some people just don’t understand boundaries!  He’ll tell that flirty Savanaclaw B you aren’t going on a date.  Or that slimy Octavinelle C that you aren’t interested in that sort of deal!  Just leave that unpleasant stuff to your Cay-Cay!

If you actually want help running your socials (you popular Player, you), then he is your guy!  Just tell him what sort of vibe you are trying to develop, and he’ll totes take care of it.  Approachable food vlogger?  Edgy fashion vlogger?  Slice of life daily vlogger?  Anything you want goes!  Cater is more than happy to accompany you on any of these trips to be your camera man (and maybe someday more?)

The click of the camera shutter sound effect on your phone indicated Cater had finished taking your picture with the tart you ordered at the café in town.  You set your fork down and noticed Cater smiling at you.  “What?” you questioned him with a smile.  He laughs lightheartedly, “Oh nothing much, you just have a bit of cream there.”  You gasp and reach for your napkin to clean yourself up.  “No wait!” Cater says as he grabs your hand, “This is actually a perfect opportunity.  Let’s get a pick like this too.  You look totes adorable like this!”  You embarrassingly allow Cater to direct you into a pose featuring both the tart and your messy lips.  The camera sound comes again and you hurriedly set the fork down and wipe your face before Cater can suggest a re-shoot.

You only hope no one else has seen you being so foolish.  You look around carefully and cringe to see that most of the café patrons are watching you eat.  Being the famous Player was certainly a form of celebrity you hadn’t anticipated.  When your eyes settle on a table of students from NRC, one of them holds your gaze and jumps to his feet, “Oh!  Oh!  Hey there, Prefect!”  You smile awkwardly and wave unenthusiastically.  “Oh, hey,” you meekly reply.

This is all the encouragement he needs to stand and approach your table.  “It’s so nice seeing you around the town like a normal student,” he gushes to you.  “Well, that’s what I am.  Just a…totally normal student,” you finish lamely.  He beams back at you before getting a sheepish expression, “Oh and I’m sorry about the other day.  I didn’t realize how much I was imposing on you.  I should have known you’d be busy!”  You look at him with wide-eyed astonishment until Cater slides into the conversation to suggest the NRC student return to his own table.  “I don’t remember ever meeting that guy,” you mumble quietly to Cater, “what was he going on about?”  Cater pats you gently on the back, “Who knows.  Maybe he just thought you were closer than you were.  Some guys just don’t know when they aren’t wanted, ya know!”  Then he slides and arm around you, “Don’t feel bad though.  Your guy Cay-Cay will always be at your side to tell them off for you.”

Whenever you have a question or need some information, its only natural that you go to Lilia for guidance.  He always seems to know just what you need!  Sure, some part of that is because he follows you around everywhere and can easily anticipate what you are looking for.  Then he has time to research until he allows you to locate him to ask for his knowledge.  That isn’t being manipulative, that is called being wise!

Ok, fine.  Sometimes he creates situations that cause you to need him as well.  To be fair, he is a fae and they are known to have a habit of mischief-making.  He is just indulging in his fae nature, and you can’t fault him for that, can you Player?  I dare you to say that you can when you are looking into his unbelievably large and innocent-looking bat eyes.  Don’t make him shed crocodile tears for you because he will! 

At least it seems like the only situations you are involved in lately are the Lilia induced ones.  Other troubles seem to have found their way somewhere else.  A pointed look from the fae hanging above your head in the shadows is all it takes to make those troublemakers take their argument out of your sight.  To think that they actually thought they could speak to the great Player about such trifles!  Not on General Lilia’s watch!  He’ll come out of retirement just to guard your precious self!

The wind blows through the cracks in the walls of Ramshackle and you hear Grim complain for the tenth time today, “I don’t wanna study now!  The great Grim doesn’t need to look things over every day!  I’ll just cram before the exam and do fine.  Now get outta my way Prefect, I’m going on a tuna run!”  You spread your arms wide, blocking the door even more.  “Oh no you don’t!  We are one student here; your grades are my grades!  I need you to study!”

Grim turns from the door and heads toward the window, as though he might choose to escape by jumping out.  There was an old tree, baren of leaves this time of year, that grew very near that window.  It wasn’t impossible to imagine a cat-like creature, such as Grim, might be able to make the jump to freedom.  You wondered if you should abandon your post as a door-guard to block the window instead when Grim startles and backs quickly away from the window.  You edge closer, alarmed at his reaction, to peer carefully into the night.  You look first at the windowsill and then at the bare branches of the lonely tree outside but see nothing shocking.  A bit of movement catches your eye, and you notice Lilia near the fence of Ramshackle waving over the crumbling stones in an oddly exaggerated and cutesy way. 

You turn back to Grim, “What’s up with you?  There isn’t anything there.”  He looks at you carefully and replies, “Didn’t you see him there?”  You look back out the window and see only Lilia, who is now floating above the fence and reseing his chin upon his hands as he forms them into a heart-shape.  “All I see is Lilia competing with himself for cutest lad in Diasomnia.  What am I supposed to be looking for?”  Grim gives you a look that is both pity and horror.  After a moment of silence, his unusual behavior gets to you.  “Maybe you are working too hard,” you say as you head to the door you’d just been blocking, “Why don’t I go grab you that tuna after all?” 

He gives a sigh and sits back at the desk, flipping open a textbook.  “Just forget about it.  I ain’t in the mood anymore.”  You look worriedly back at him, but he just continues to study.  You sit on the bed for a bit to watch over him, but it isn’t long until you’ve nodded off.  Grim, on the other hand, continues to dutifully study.  Why not?  It’s not like he’ll be sleeping tonight.  Not after the eldritch horror he’s witnessed hanging in the tree outside.  Lilia doesn’t usually employ that level of scare tactic outside of Halloween pranks, but for you, Dear Player, he is willing to make exceptions.

[beesmygod]

perhaps foolishly throwing my hat in the ring here about cohost developers making 90k/yr (as someone who used cohost for like five minutes but does work in software. although I'm not even close to making SWE-level money lol): depending on your stack, experience, location, other benefits, etc., that's genuinely in the bottom twentieth percentile for engineer salaries at your average startup, if not lower. especially for a "founding engineer who does literally everything"-type role. idk how much experience these people have or what their stack is, but just to guess, at your average seni-marture startup they could easily double that salary, and at a big FAANG company or whatever stupid acronym we're using now they could probably quadruple that, plus or minus whatever part of your comp package is stock instead of actual salary.

there are a couple interesting/relevant reasons I bring this up: (1) at really really early-stage startups, where you only have four guys and a couple hundred grand in the bank, having bottom-twentieth-percentile salaries is normal *because they make up for it by giving you a shitload stock options that will theoretically be worth a lot in the future*, if things ever take off, although of course they rarely do. in cohost's case, it doesn't seem like stocks and shit were part of their long-term plans (which, fair enough, not trying to say they should've been), so in theory the cohost devs were making a lottt less than your average early-stage startup devs, even though overall comp at an early-stage startup is mostly monopoly money.

(2) the other thing is that if the pay is uncompetitive, which it obviously was, then attracting worthwhile talent is really hard. again, idk these devs, they could all genuinely be very good at their jobs. and cohost was clearly a passion project for them. but it makes me wonder if *some* (not all) of their problems stemmed from technical or even positioning/market issues that having more people or more experienced people would've solved, and they just weren't able to hire them. especially since they were doing design work and moderation and other shit in addition to plain old engineering!

I guess my angle here is that unless you see how the sausage is made, it's really really easy to underestimate just how much money (and human labor!) it takes to build anything, and that most projects only manage to pull it off for as long as they do thanks to a near-bottomless supply of venture capital funding. even not-for-profit community projects (which I was considering whether something like cohost could survive as, but even then I'm unsure) rely on corporate sponsorship and free labor from people who are getting paid a lot of money at their day job. so like many of you I am not at all shocked that they're folding—easy to say in hindsight but I definitely say this coming, although maybe not so quickly lol.

but like, even most VC-funded startups fail despite having way better odds and a shitload more money. legit kudos to them for trying anyway, because the only way we get cool shit is if someone's willing to take a risk and maybe fail. that said as a *user* there's still no way I'd hitch my wagon to a fledgling startup unless I was totally okay with that wagon falling into a gulch within 24 months, because that's usually what happens

interesting insight. thanks boss. much to learn about this world that, as an outsider, seems uniquely annoying and stupid to try to navigate

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── PEREGRINE // TWO

Series Synopsis: The ways that you and Seishiro Nagi fall together and fall apart over the years.

Chapter Synopsis: You and May hang out at the mall before going to dinner with Reo, Ryosuke, and Nagi.

Series Masterlist

Pairing(s): Nagi x Reader, Kira x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.1k

Content Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating, non-linear narrative, probably ooc, angst, nagi is endgame, kira sucks, alternate universe, original characters

A/N: ok so i lowkey hate writing nagi atm simply because he is a character who (imo) NEEDS a build up to feel like he actually cares abt someone instead of being generally apathetic. but in this part of the story we’re like…past that build up if that makes sense?? so he feels weird to me rn since he’s the product of character development that’s happened chronologically but not narratively. idk that was a long rant for no reason LMAO i hope you guys don’t hate the chapter.

divider credits: @/benkeibear

You were awoken from a pleasant dream whose contents you could not remember by banging on the room door. When Ryosuke only groaned and mumbled something violent in response, you realized that it fell to you to see what was happening. Yawning and rubbing your eyes, you rolled out of bed and stumbled over to the entrance, swinging it open to find a straight-faced Reo and a playfully irritated May.

“What happened to not sleeping, huh?” May said, poking you in the forehead.

“We weren’t sleeping,” you said, though your statement was punctuated by another yawn, somewhat detracting from its validity.

“That’s believable,” Reo said.

“Oh, that’s enough out of you,” you said. “What’s up? Why’re you guys here?”

“We were going to show you around, remember?” May said.

“You weren’t answering our texts and calls, so we came to see how you were doing in person,” Reo said, his expression uncharacteristically sour.

“Don’t mind him,” May said. “He’s just mad because he lost one of our bets.”

“What was it this time?” you said. For as long as they had been acquainted, Reo and May had constantly been making lighthearted bets against one another, and it seemed that even with their wedding looming so close, their games had not ceased any.

“It was a stupid bet,” Reo grumbled. “I was so sure I was going to win, but my own best friend betrayed me!”

“Me?” you said, pointing at yourself. “What, because I fell asleep? Did you seriously bet I was going to stay awake? You should’ve known better.”

“So you were asleep!” May said.

“Er,” you said. “Well, there’s no point in hiding it. Yeah, we were.”

“Shame on you,” May said.

“Actually, I’m talking about Nagi,” Reo said. “I bet that he wouldn’t come to dinner with all of us later tonight, because it would be way too much of a chore.”

“That’s a pretty sensible option,” you said. “He doesn’t really do things unless they’re easy for him.”

“Exactly my point!” Reo said. “See? I’m not stupid!”

“Maybe neither of you know him as well as I do,” May said with a mysterious shrug. “I guessed he was going to come, and guess what? He is!”

“It’s just not plausible for you to know him better than me!” Reo said. “Y/N, sure, that makes sense. She barely ever talked to him, so it’s not impossible for you to have the upper hand if you’re betting against her. But me? Me? That’s — it’s — it’s just preposterous, that’s what it is!”

“He’s taking this pretty personally,” you observed.

“I know,” May said. “It’s really funny. Every time I pretend like I might know more than him about you or Nagi, he freaks out. The trick is that most of the time, he actually does win bets involving the two of you. I just really ham up the few times that I do win, so it seems like I’m some kind of clairvoyant genius or something.”

“Maybe you’re not clairvoyant, but you’re definitely comedic,” you said. “I’m grateful you’re the one marrying him. He needs someone that keeps him on his toes.”

“It’s a duty I take seriously,” she said. “Anyways, is that fiancé of yours going to come with us or not?”

“Oh, right,” Reo said, his anger dissipating entirely. “That was the other question. Will he want to be there?”

“I’ll make him come to dinner for sure,” you said. “I don’t know if he’ll want to go shopping, though. I can ask.”

“You don’t have to,” May said.

“True,” Reo said. “The three of us could just hang out. It’d be like old times.”

“I’d feel embarrassed third-wheeling you two,” you said. “What would I do when you started getting all lovey-dovey? It would be really awkward if I didn’t even have anyone there to commiserate with.”

“You’re such a baby,” May said. “It’ll be fine. We’ll keep our PDA to a minimum.”

“I’ve known Reo for too long,” you said, pointing at where his hand was already intertwining with hers. “Asking him to refrain from PDA is a cruel and unusual punishment that I could never inflict, even if it was for my own personal comfort.”

“That’s true,” she said, leaning against him slightly. It was the kind of love that was so assured they did not even have to think twice about it. It came naturally, simply. There was no facade to be maintained, no perfect image that was always mere seconds away from shattering entirely.

“Right, so let me just wake Ryosuke up and see what he says,” you said, though of course, you didn’t need to. Perhaps there was not as much love between you and him as there once had been, but your understanding had only grown in the years that had passed, so you could predict his answer with perfect accuracy before you had even asked the question.

He was already stirring when you returned to his side, running his fingers through his hair and drinking from the bottle of water that the hotel staff had so kindly left on our bedside.

“Morning, babe,” he said to you.

“It’s actually afternoon,” you said.

“It’s morning somewhere,” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“Sure,” you said. “Look, Reo and May are here. They’re going to take us to the mall and show us around, and then we’ll all go to dinner together.”

“Okay,” he said. “Give a minute and I’ll meet you all outside.”

“You’ll come shopping?” you checked.

“Of course I will. I need to make sure you don’t buy anything unfashionable,” he said, winking at you cheekily. You did not respond in kind.

“We’ll wait in the hotel lobby,” you said. You wanted to badly to believe that he was being like this because seeing Reo and May had reminded him of what your life used to be like, but the truth was probably just that he had not had the chance to see another woman in some time and was therefore feeling fonder of you because you were his only option, as he was yours.

“He’ll meet us in the lobby,” you said to Reo and May, taking your purse off of the hook by the entrance. The strap rested on your shoulder as you made sure you had one of the copies of the key in your wallet before shutting the door behind you, trusting Ryosuke would lock it.

“If he takes too long, we’ll leave without him,” May said. Reo did not say anything, but considering his policy of being as polite at all times as he could manage, it was as good as an agreement on his part. You supposed May must’ve made clear her dislike to Reo, although if you were recalling correctly, Reo had never exactly been Ryosuke’s number-one-fan, either. He was just better about hiding it than May and Chigiri, both of whom were all but open about their true feelings towards him.

“He won’t,” you said. “He’s basically ready. He just had to use the bathroom, I think.”

“I was just saying,” she said. “It would be in character for him to take forever, is all. What did Chigiri always call him? A peacock bastard or something?”

“Believe it or not, he still calls him that,” you said.

“To his face?” Reo said, eyebrows shooting up. “That’s gutsy, even for him.”

“I knew I liked him for a reason,” May said.

“Not exactly to his face, considering he refuses to even look at Ryosuke. Apparently, it breaks him out,” you said. “And you know how he is about his skin care, Reo.”

Reo, who had been Chigiri’s roommate just as you had been May’s, made a face in acknowledgment, likely recalling as you were the bottles upon bottles of expensive lotions and hair products that Chigiri had invested most of his allowance and, later, salary in.

“He’s not wrong, per se,” May said. “I can feel an itch under my skin as well, just from being around him for so long.”

“I hope that you can get over your allergy on this trip, then,” you said. “Considering he’s going to be at your wedding, and you’ll be at mine.”

“He’s only here as your plus one,” May said.

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s here,” you said slowly, like you were explaining the concept to a child.

“No, but it does mean that I didn’t invite him,” she explained. Reo tried to cover his snicker by hiding his mouth behind his hand, but considering his eyes still scrunched at the corners and glittered with mirth, he was overall unsuccessful.

“Just be nice to him, please,” you said. “It’s my life you’re making harder. At least with Chigiri, there’s that old rivalry to explain it, but you’re just going out of your way to be rude.”

“You’re right,” Reo said, suddenly guilty, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging up his shoulders high as a defense from your disappointment. “We’ll call a truce for the duration of the wedding.”

“We will?” May said.

“May, she promised to get along with Nagi for us,” he said. “It’s the least we owe her.”

“Stop bringing Nagi up,” you said, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” Reo said. May pursed her lips but nodded, though she looked more contemplative than unwilling, as if some new information had suddenly been revealed to her. You couldn’t be sure what information that might’ve been, exactly, but since she did not reveal her hand, you were left to guess.

Ryosuke stepped out of the elevator a few moments later, wearing a new set of clothes and an easy grin. He waved at the receptionist when he passed her, and then he crossed the room to stand at your side, though you noticed he did not even try to put his arm around your body or his hand on your own. He seemed more like a particularly close friend than a lover, and you trained your gaze on the ground instead of reaching out for him as you could have.

“Hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting for long,” he said. May shook her head, smiling at him as best she could. She must’ve picked up that political savvy from Reo, who had a natural-born charm which endeared him to all.

“It’s not a problem,” she said. Ryosuke seemed taken aback by the sudden switch in her demeanor, but he took it in stride.

“Alright,” he said. “Should we get going, then?”

“Yes, that sounds good. Should we take one car or two?” Reo said.

“I vote two,” you said, wanting to give Reo and May the privacy that would be hard-won in the coming weeks. May nodded.

“Agreed. I call having Y/N with me!” she said, wrapping herself around your bicep and batting her eyelashes at Reo.

“Okay,” he said through gritted teeth. “Looks like it’s you and me, Kira.”

“Fine by me,” Ryosuke said.

“Wait, May, don’t you want to spend some time with Reo?” you said. “You guys are going to be so busy getting ready for the wedding soon, so you’ll barely have any moments alone with him.”

“We have our entire lives to spend together,” she said, smiling fondly at Reo. “And I haven’t seen you in years. Of course I want to go with you!”

“If you say so,” you said.

“We’ll meet you there,” Reo said, walking towards the first car waiting in the pickup lane of the hotel, Ryosuke following after him. You and May waited for them to drive off and the second car to pull up before you, too, exited the hotel lobby and got into the backseat together.

“Alright, now that those two are gone, let’s get to the real stuff,” May said, rubbing her hands together.

“What real stuff?” you said. She beamed.

“I want to know what’s up with you!” she said.

“I always text you whenever something happens,” you said. “So you’re pretty much all caught up. Not that there’s really much to catch up on.”

“Why haven’t you picked a wedding day?” she said.

“It’s always straight to the point with you, isn’t it?” you said. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel ready to get married yet.”

“You’re the one who’s holding back?” she said.

“I’ve always been the one holding back,” you reminded her. “Even when we were in college. If you’ll recall, he had to try quite a lot to get me to agree to go out with him.”

“That’s true, but now that the two of you are together, I would’ve said for sure that Mr. ‘I’m-Scared-of-Commitment’ would’ve been the one making a fuss about having to actually get married,” she said.

You almost caved. You almost opened your mouth and told her that it was because you resented Ryosuke, resented him as much if not more than you loved him, and you could not marry someone like that. But neither could you leave him, and so you were stuck in this strange, endless limbo, which you could not escape from nor meaningfully exist in.

“He’s happy,” you said. “He actually brought up choosing a date the other day. I’m the one who’s being weird about it.”

May made a noise of sympathy. “Why?”

You leaned your head against the tinted window, watching the familiar sights of your childhood flashing by, so different and yet still the same. That girl who you had been when you had lived here last…you wondered what she’d think of you now. Was this what she had imagined her life would look like one day?

You didn’t need to ponder it for very long. You knew the answer already — no.

“Why did you say yes when Reo asked you to marry him?” you said instead of responding, thinking back to the day he had proposed to her.

“Because saying yes meant spending the rest of my life with him,” she said.

“And that was something you wanted?” you pressed.

“Of course,” she said. “Even now, my life with him is so wonderful. I want to share as much of myself as I can with him. Isn’t it the same for you? Isn’t that why you said yes? After all, Kira proposed first. If anything, I should be asking you these questions.”

“I guess so,” you said. No. No, of course not. The thought of spending the rest of your life living like this was akin to an imprisonment. It was a great burden weighing down on you, but then again, it was better than the alternative, which was the reason why you still could not bring yourself to leave.

“I’m not judging you or anything,” May said. “And trust me, I could, but I’m not, because I really just want you to be happy. Are you?”

“Am I what?” you said.

“Happy,” she said. “When you were a kid, is this what you dreamt your life would look like?”

You laughed bitterly. “Of course not. People outgrow dreams, May. I was an idealistic girl when I was younger, and there’s no place in this world for that. I have a stable job and a fine home. I have a fiancé who does not mistreat me. I have a cat of my own and a friend who lives only minutes away. Maybe I’m not as happy as I could be, but I’m satisfied.”

“I see,” May said. “If that’s the way it is…I’m glad for you. After everything, you deserve it.”

You exhaled heavily, unsure of what to say. “Thank you.”

Reo and Ryosuke were waiting for you in the front of the mall, and you could not help but take notice of the marked difference between the two of them. Ryosuke was looking around, his lively eyes settling on every girl as they walked past, his posture inviting and casual. On the other hand, Reo was closed off to any approaches, entirely focused on scanning the entryway, craning his neck every time the doors opened in case the next person to walk through would be May.

Unfortunately for him, the people you entered behind were taller than both you and May, so you escaped his notice until the two of you were behind him and May was grinning devilishly. Abruptly, she placed her hands on his shoulders, shaking him back and forth as he shrieked in surprise.

“May!” he said, clutching his heart as he fought for breath. “You scared me. I thought I was being kidnapped.”

“Maybe you are,” she said. “Y/N, I’m holding your best friend for ransom. Give me lots of money and I’ll let him go!”

“No, thanks. You can keep him,” you said.

“Wow, Y/N,” Reo said, pretending to wipe away a tear. “It’s heartwarming how much you care about me.”

“Oh, you guys are here,” Ryosuke said, finally tuning into the conversation. “Took you long enough.”

The joking mood vanished immediately. Suddenly, you were a child again, your mother shaking her head at you in disapproval every time you did something wrong, your father sighing every time you asked him why he was upset, as if you should’ve known just from the way he looked at you what he was feeling.

“We had to make sure you got a taste of waiting, too,” May said before looping her arm through your own. “Though you really had no reason to. You boys can go do whatever, and Y/N and I will go through every single store together!”

“That’s not fair!” Reo said. “I want to help you guys shop.”

“I know, but don’t you think it would be rude to leave Kira on his own? Anyways, this way we can surprise you with what we get,” she said.

“Kira wants to go, though, right?” Reo said, turning to Ryosuke, his eyes wide and pleading. Ryosuke, who had been gazing at a girl as she laughed with her friends, jumped at the mention of his name.

“Huh? Nah, it’s okay. May will make sure she doesn’t buy anything hideous, won’t you, May?” he said. Out of his sight, Reo’s face crumpled, and you thought he genuinely might start sobbing. Reaching out, you patted him on the shoulder comfortingly.

“I would never let her walk around looking ugly,” May said. “Come on, Y/N. Let’s get started — this is a big mall, and we only have so much time before we have to meet back up with everyone for dinner.”

“Bye, guys,” Reo said forlornly, the tendons in his hand flexing, like he was considering reaching out and forcing you to stay back. He must’ve decided against it, though, as he only waved before trudging behind Ryosuke, giving you one last, desperate look over his shoulder before rounding the corner.

Surprisingly, you didn’t buy as much as you thought you might. Without Reo there to insist you and May try on half of every store’s merchandise, you both ended up spending more time making fun of the clothes you saw than anything.

“That sweater is so fucking ugly,” you said, pointing at a strangely posed mannequin. May pretended to gag.

“I think designers have this thing where they purposefully try to design the most horrendous clothes possible, and then, once they genuinely cannot look any worse, they put a brand name and a massive price tag on them and watch people go crazy,” she said. You giggled in agreement.

You had forgotten what it was like to have a friend like this. Your relationship with Chigiri was different — no less important, but different. Being with May was exactly what you needed to calm the turmoil of your mind, and for her part, May was happy to just spend time with you, even if your discussions were more superficial and silly than anything.

The restaurant that Reo had booked a reservation at was in a five-star hotel across town. It was an upscale place, and you spent the entire drive over fidgeting with your clothes, hoping that you were wearing something appropriate for the occasion.

“You look fine, seriously,” May reassured you as you got out of the car.

“Are you sure? I feel underdressed,” you said.

“I’m the same level of dressed as you, so if they’re going to judge you, they’re going to judge me, too,” she said. “We’re in this together. Feel better?”

“A little bit,” you said.

“Good. Excuse me, miss, but we have a reservation for five? Some of our party has arrived already,” she said.

“What’s the name?” the hostess said. She was pretty, with long, smooth hair and innocent features.

“Mikage,” she said. The hostess’s eyes widened, but to her credit, she did not otherwise freak out. Beckoning you to follow after her, she led you to the table where Reo and Ryosuke were sitting.

“Here you are,” she said. “Will the final member of your party be along shortly?”

Reo pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’ll be here at some point. Being on time isn’t exactly his strong suit. Knowing him, he’s probably asleep right now. Say, May, if he ends up being a no-show, does that mean I win the bet?”

May paled. “I’m calling him.”

“That’s cheating! May — May, that’s cheating, stop!” he said as May held her phone to her ear, waving him off.

“I already won the bet, so it’s not cheating if I’m just ensuring my victory remains secure,” she said.

“What are they talking about?” Ryosuke said to you.

“They made a bet about whether Reo’s best man will come to dinner tonight,” you said. “He agreed to earlier, which meant May won, but now he hasn’t shown up, so Reo’s gunning for a comeback victory.”

“Interesting,” Ryosuke said. “Aren’t you glad we’re not so childish?”

You looked at the plush carpet beneath your feet when you answered. “Yes.”

Ryosuke, who was sitting beside you, rubbed your thigh, clicking his tongue as Reo tried to grab May’s phone from her. She barely warded him off with one hand, holding the cell up to her ear with the other.

“Hello? Nagi?” she said. “Mhm, this is May. Yes. Yes, we’re all here. Oh, you’re on your way? Well, sorry, asshole, but you being so late has been more of a hassle for me than answering this call was for you. Okay. Yep. See you soon, I guess. I’ll tell him.”

She hung up with a sly smirk, poking Reo in the cheek. He hung his head in defeat, though of course, he was smiling the entire time, belying his true amusement. They never had any stakes for their bets, and this was on purpose: the competitions were just a silly way for them to liven up how mundane everyday existence could be.

“He was seriously already on his way?” he said.

“Yeah, and he wanted me to tell you to just order the appetizers already. He’s apparently so starved that he might die if he doesn’t eat within the next few minutes,” she said.

“For helping you win the bet instead of me, he deserves it. Traitor,” Reo said, though he waved the waitress over and began listing off the many appetizers he wanted for the table regardless.

“Looks like I’m finally going to get to meet the infamous Nagi,” Ryosuke said, giving the waitress a brilliant grin that forced a blush out of her as she scurried back to the kitchen.

“How do you know him?” you said.

“I’ve heard his name around,” he said. “Once or twice. There was that whole scandal a couple of years ago, too, don’t you remember? When he lost that game and then quit soccer for good?”

There was no way you couldn’t remember. That was the last time you had been back in Japan. You had been in this very town when it had happened, but despite your proximity, you had never found out the reason for it all. You had never understood why he had done it. But, then again, there were so many things about him that you had never understood, so it wasn’t a shock. To you, he would always be an enigma, and one you had no interest in unraveling anymore, to boot.

It was a few minutes later that he walked in. You were dimly aware of Reo high-fiving May in congratulations, never one to be capable of even pretending to stay angry for very long, and also of Ryosuke straightening his back in interest at the newcomer, but none of these things could hold your attention when it was Seishiro Nagi standing in front of you.

He looked almost the same as he had when you saw him last. His pale hair was still kept in the same messy style, though it was soaked for some reason, water dripping down the strands and splashing onto his cheeks. He still wore that same sleepy expression, though something sparked in his dove-colored eyes when they met yours. His shirt was wet, too, the fabric clinging to his muscular body as he draped his jacket over the back of his chair and sat down across from you.

“It was raining,” he said by way of explanation, and though he was speaking to everyone, you could tell he was waiting for your reaction, specifically. You pursed your lips and avoided his heavy stare as best as you could.

“You’re so dumb. Why didn’t you just use an umbrella?” Reo said with a groan, reaching over May’s lap to hand him a napkin.

“Don’t like them,” he said, accepting the napkin and using it to dry off his hair, giving him the frazzled appearance of a mad scientist. “It’s too much work carrying them around.”

You swallowed back the lump in your throat, wanting to say something but finding yourself completely unable to. Thankfully, Ryosuke spoke up, leaning forward with an uncharacteristic interest.

“The falcon of the field,” he said. Nagi’s face was impassive at the mention of his old nickname, from back when he was still one of the top players in the league. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“Who are you?” Nagi said, pulling out his phone — you were impressed he had lasted so long without it — and began to play a game that, judging by the movement of his fingers, was either Candy Crush or some variant of it.

“Ryosuke Kira.” This earned him a grunt from the clearly uninterested Nagi. “You went to high school with Y/N, right?”

Nagi glanced up at him. “Yeah.”

“I’m her fiancé,” Ryosuke said, wrapping his arm around you in a way that implied possession more than affection. “We got engaged a few years ago.”

“That’s great, man,” Nagi said, returning to his game. “Congratulations.”

“I’m lucky. She’s really the perfect girl,” Ryosuke said.

“Mhm,” Nagi said. His phone vibrated, indicating he had cleared another level. A smile flickered across his face. He was like that, you remembered. Never happier than when he had won a game.

“Ryosuke, stop,” you said. “He doesn’t care.”

“I’m just trying to be friendly,” Ryosuke said. “What about you, Nagi? Anyone special waiting for you back at home?”

Nagi’s phone let out a sad sound. You could picture the screen, the mournful characters and the swirling font, which would read something along the lines of You Ran Out of Moves! He frowned, clicking to restart the level.

“Nope,” he said.

“Wow, that’s a surprise. Well, don’t worry about it. It may seem hopeless now, but the right person will come along when you least expect it!” Ryosuke said.

“Probably not,” Nagi said. “Reo, I’m hungry. How much longer until the food gets here?”

“I’m not sure,” Reo said. “I’ll go speak with the waitress and ask her about the delay.”

“I’ll come with,” May said immediately, springing to her feet and dashing after Reo. You didn’t blame her — if you had a way to escape the awkward situation, you would’ve taken it in a heartbeat.

“Don’t be so pessimistic!” Ryosuke said, in what you were sure he thought was an encouraging tone. “It really does happen like that. Take Y/N, for example.”

“Or don’t,” you said.

“She had never even dated anyone before meeting me,” Ryosuke said. Nagi snorted.

“Really?” he said.

You kicked him under the table, your foot coming into contact with his shin as hard as you could manage. Unfortunately, it had all of the effect that a fly landing on him would’ve, as he only peered over his phone at you for an instant before returning to his game.

“Yup, and now we’re going to get married. All of that is to say we never know what’s going to happen and who we’re going to meet,” Ryosuke said. It was a speech that you might’ve found inspirational, if the circumstances were different. As it was, though, you could only sink down into your chair in embarrassment.

“Sure,” Nagi said. “I’ll keep my eyes open.”

“That’s the spirit. Who can tell? Maybe your future wife is sitting right in front of you!” Ryosuke said.

“Doubt it,” Nagi said. “Considering it’s your fiancée sitting right in front of me at the moment.”

You kicked him again. He blinked at you innocently. You glared at him, begging him to keep his mouth shut. Shrugging his shoulders only slightly, he set his phone to the side as Reo returned with the waitress, who murmured apologies — mostly to Ryosuke — and set your food down in front of you.

“Apparently, they had sent our food to the wrong table,” Reo said. “Go figure. Nagi, you had better not go on your phone while you eat, or else you’ll get bored of chewing and May will have to do the Heimlich on you again.”

Nagi, who had already put his phone face-down on the table, muttered rebelliously to himself but did not pick it up again, as per Reo’s directive. For her part, May inched her chair away from his, obviously not too keen on being volunteered as the resident Heimlich-maneuver-performer.

“Say, Y/N, I’m feeling a little full already,” Ryosuke said, pushing his plate towards you. “And I’m tired from earlier. Do you mind if I go back early?”

“Go ahead,” you said. “Do you want me to come?”

“No, no, I wouldn’t want to take away your time with your friends,” he said. It was then that you realized the hostess who had greeted you had left her station, presumably to change out of her uniform, and your shoulders slumped as you nodded.

“That’s good. I was actually going to ask if I could sleep at May and Reo’s, so it works out,” you said.

“Huh, what?” May said. “I’m alright with it as long as Reo is, but why?”

“For old times’ sake, I guess,” you said. “Although I’m sure just the closet alone at your house is twice the size of our old dorm room.”

“Probably,” she said. “Reo?”

You thought for a second that he might protest, but in fact, Reo actually looked like he might burst into tears of delight.

“Yes!” he said. “Of course — but on the condition that you let me finally talk to her for a bit!”

“Oh, sure,” May said.

“Then it’s a deal,” Reo said.

“That works out,” Ryosuke said, stooping over to press a kiss on your temple. “Now I won’t have to worry about how you get back.”

“Right,” you said, and you were so practiced that the lie came to your lips easily. “I’m glad.”

“I’ll go call the driver for you, Kira,” May said, excusing herself from the table and striding out of the restaurant. A few seconds later, Reo’s phone buzzed. He glanced down at it before groaning.

“Ugh, they keep doing this!” he said.

“What happened?” you said.

“Sometimes, people get it into their heads that just because May is from a different country and isn’t officially married to me yet, they can get away with treating her as less than a Mikage,” Reo said, standing up and pushing his chair in. “If you’ll excuse me, there’s someone I need to fire. Come on, Kira; I’ll just drive you myself. Y/N, Nagi, will you be alright on your own for a bit? I’ll come back with May once we’ve dropped off Kira and she’s calmed down a bit.”

“No,” you said.

“Yes,” Nagi said at the same time, giving you a quizzical look. “It’s alright, Reo.”

“Be civil,” Reo ordered. “I’ll speed a lot, so it won’t be long.”

“See you tomorrow, babe,” Ryosuke said, kissing you again, this time on your lips.

“Ew,” Nagi said.

“Ah, excuse me?” Ryosuke said politely.

“You’re excused,” Nagi said.

“No, that’s not—” Ryosuke looked around for help, but of course none was forthcoming. “Never mind. Um, I’ll just go, then. Reo, do you mind if I stop in the bathroom first?”

“Whatever. I’m going to go check on May and yell at that driver, so meet us there,” Reo said, already storming off. He was so good-natured most of the time that it was easy to forget just how quick to anger he was as well. He had a fearsome temper that he had only recently learnt to control, and on the occasions it reared its head, someone almost always regretted their actions immensely.

As soon as the others were gone, you were unabashedly scowling at Nagi, who did not visibly react.

“Stop it,” you said.

“Stop what?” he said.

“Stop provoking my fiancé,” you said.

“I’m not provoking anyone,” he said, admiring the depths of his drink instead of looking at you. “That would take a lot of effort.”

“You are,” you said. “You keep saying these things that anyone could misinterpret!”

“Misinterpret?” he said. “Uh, you do know what that word means, right?”

“Nagi,” you hissed.

His mouth rearranged itself into a small pout. “The others are gone now. You can just call me Seishiro.”

“I’m being serious,” you said. He let out an aggravated sigh.

“No, you’re just being a hassle. Whatever. Call me Nagi, if that’s what you want. I’m still going to call you Y/N,” he said.

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

“Very original,” he observed.

“Look, I don’t care what you do,” you said. “Just leave me out of it. I’m going to get married soon. I don’t need you acting odd and complicating things the way you always do.”

“I’m not acting odd,” he said. “You’re acting odd.”

“No, I am not!” you said.

“Yeah, you are,” he said. “Also, you suck at kicking. And your fiancé is a pain.”

“Maybe he is,” you said. “But at least he wants me.”

“Is that so?” he said. “I dunno. It looked like he wanted that waitress, too. And that hostess. And May. But I don’t think he’d go after her, because, y’know, Reo would be pretty mad, and he can definitely afford a better lawyer than Kira can if it comes down to it…”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said.

“Sure,” he said. “Fine. I don’t know anything. You know everything. This is such a pointless conversation.”

“I agree,” you said. “Let’s finish it. I promised Reo I’d get along with you for the sake of the wedding, but please, Nagi, I’m begging you…once it’s over, let’s just go back to being strangers. That’s the best way.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you since you left,” he said. “You never once messaged me or called me. I thought you would apologize or something once we met again, but you’re not apologizing. You’re saying you want us to be strangers. Do you mean it was on purpose?”

“Of course it was on purpose,” you said. “What good would it have done for me to message you? To call you? It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“It would’ve,” he said quietly, picking up his phone again. “For me, it would’ve.”

“But I didn’t,” you said.

“You didn’t,” he agreed. He was playing Candy Crush again, but though he seemed entranced by the game, you knew he was listening to you still.

“Look, dwelling on the past doesn’t accomplish anything,” you said. “For better or worse, this is where our lives have led us. This is the culmination of all of our decisions. Okay? Stop pretending like any of it can change. It can’t.”

“Mhm,” he said. “Look. I cleared the level.”

He showed you his phone. Just as you had thought, he was playing Candy Crush, and true to his word, the characters were smiling and dancing on the screen, the congratulatory message written in a sweet, bubbly pink.

You Won!

For some reason, it didn’t feel like either of you had.

taglist (comment/send an ask to be added): @mariyumemi @naatggeo @prettyarsxnist

[wazzappp]

dandandan au but it's robbie and lisa

Do you have any idea what you've done. I have literally been thinking about this for a week now and you've given me an excuse to talk about it. I am in your walls now you cant get rid of me you did this to yourself.

ANYWAY. LETS GET STARTED.

Lisa is fairly easy to just slot in as Momo tbh. She's popular, stylish and actively looking for a boyfriend that fits a very specific criteria. Also idk WHY but it is INCREDIBLY easy for me to see her being raised by Sekio. She doesn't really have a canon family and I think the most important part of her family life is that she grows up fairly well taken care of and loved, which Sekio does! You know. In her own way.

Sekio raising her also makes it very plausible for her to be the kind of girl who carries a brick in her purse and roundhouse kicks scumbags trying to pressure her into sex in the throat. Just maybe a little nicer than Momo is sometimes lol. Being raised by Sekio also means she keeps the attribute of being well educated about ghosts.

I can see her adapting to her psychokinesis pretty quickly, just like Momo does. I do like her emotions influencing her powers just a little more than they seem to effect Momo in canon. Just because I'm such a sucker for her keeping that mask of a smile on her face while unintentionally making cracks in the wall with her powers.

Lisa is also... mildly jealous I think. We can see that in the comic where Robbie and Ms.Marvel have a crossover hangout. She is VISIBLY relieved when they decide they're 'Crossover Besties for Life' so her being a little possessive of Robbie when Aira comes into the picture also stays making sense (smacking the pink bitch on the head with a pan for daring to make fun of her man my beloved).

I cant talk about Robbie and Gabe without first talking about Eli, unfortunately. Eli sucks ass in every universe so yeah he's still working for the Russian mob. Bad news though, he's been getting too much attention for killing the wrong people. He's been visiting Alejandro and Julianna Reyes (who is very pregnant with Robbie) frequently enough that his enemies are aware of them, which means they're actively in danger. So Ivanov uses this as an excuse to send Eli to Japan so he can oversee some drug deals they've been doing with the Yakuza. He has to give his businessmen some scary dog privileges and all that yk. His caution does not last very long at all and he starts making a habit of taking his victims to an old abandoned tunnel on the edge of town for killing and disposal.

He manages to last a whole 5 years in Japan but it's not really voluntary. Ivanov has realized he has a great way to pawn off this liability and he's milking it to the extreme. Eventually the Yakuza decide 'This guy is actually so fucking shitty its worth it to kill him and potentially jeopardize our relationship with the Russians'. So they kill him, and his family, which leaves Robbie and a very small Gabe in Japan.

Because of all the people he killed in that tunnel, Eli's spirit goes to rest there. Rumors had spread of a Mexican guy, high as balls on coke, killing people in there so he earns the name 'Turbo Tío'. Cause 'Turbo Granny' is a INSANE name and I could not resist the dangling chain of alliteration I mean it's RIGHT THERE.

Robbie and Gabe's story stays mostly the same. Robbie is still working on cars but I think it would be reasonable for him to start looking at apprentice work on Trains once he's out of high school. Eli still had his tantrum and threw Julianna down the stairs while pregnant with Gabe, so he's still working to provide for his brother.

Robbie as Okarun changes a few things but surprisingly not as many as I would expect. Okarun is awkward, insecure, lonely and bullied. It's why he attaches to Momo so quickly. Robbie is ALSO awkward and lonely but he's got a lethal murderface and a 'dont fuck with me' attitude so he doesn't have the same problems with bullies. He DOES have the same problems with friendlessness though.

Gabe. The most specialest boy ever. He is an entirely NEW part of the equation and as a result I'm giving him Specialest Boy powers. Gabe is very spiritually sensitive. He can see things most people cant. He pretty quickly learned to Not Talk About It very much and expresses what he sees by drawing. Robbie just thinks he's very imaginative, and he is but this isn't because of that.

Because of this, Gabe has an interest in aliens and supernatural phenomena (the cryptid 'Ninja Wolf' is an obvious favorite). Robbie likes to check any books out in the library that he might like.

This changes things for Robbie once he's cursed because now he has MULTIPLE reasons for wanting to get rid of it.

The obvious. He would appreciate having his balls back, thank you very much (unsubstantiated, based off my research, but rumors spread that because he was with the Russian mob he castrated people in the tunnel so like it or not its part of his lore now.)

Having this curse is putting a target on his back and therefore putting Gabe in danger.

He REALLY does not have time to be fighting all these ghosts and aliens while holding down a job and going to school.

Please for the love of god he wants to incinerate that little cat Eli is being stored in.

BUT theres also a bit of a conundrum there. Lisa can defend herself 100% but with all the shit getting thrown at them its really helpful to have Robbie around (he would. very much prefer for her to not get hurt). And the really big problem: being spiritually sensitive could put Gabe in danger in the future, and if Robbie cant defend him whats the point of all this anyway?

SO. Considering all of this, Lisa and Robbies first meeting and subsequent dare goes a little different. Heres what I'm thinking.

Lisa is super in her head while walking down the hallway because she broke up with her shithead boyfriend. Robbie doesn't see her because there was a new shipment of books to the library and he's carrying as many as he can that he thinks Gabe will like. Naturally they run into each other.

Lisa is pissed at first, saying he 'needs to watch where he's going'. But feels bad mid stomp off and turns around to help. Comments on the subject material. Something like,

'Aliens, huh? I've seen you around school I didn't take you for the type to be into that. At least you've got a little stuff about ghosts here too, thats more reasonable.'

Robbie takes offense on his brothers behalf, 'What the hell makes ghosts more reasonable than aliens?'

Their fight escalates, Lisa makes him a deal. He goes to the most haunted place she can find, she goes to a place with lots of reports of alien activity. First person to back out owes the other 50 bucks (which is like. 7487 yen. Damn). For Robbie thats an entire meal and he's confident he wont fail. Lisa just thinks he's sorta cute and she likes proving people wrong.

I'm willing to bet you can guess what happens from there.

Also, because it's me, they get some fun physical side effects to their curses. Robbie has a portion of his hair that stays white after his transformation. He tries to dye it at first to stay under the radar but eventually its just to annoying to keep up with. I think he should keep black fingernails too. As a treat.

I!! WANT!! SIDE EFFECTS!! FOR TELEKENESIS!! So fuck it I'm giving Lisa funky green face marks she covers with makeup. They can be funky together.

Alright thank you for coming to my ted talk bye

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 6

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 4K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

This one's a little longer than the last few, but it's one I was really excited to get to for a while. I hope you guys like it! We're starting to get into the nitty gritty! Once again please let me know what you think of it! Thank you all for your support :)

__________

After your emotional conversation with Pedro, you were worried he'd stop talking to you. At least, it seems that's how it usually works. Whenever you try to have a conversation about emotions with someone, it gets shut down. But surprisingly.. it didn't push Pedro away at all. The two of you talk nearly every day on the phone, and when you don't, it's made up for with plenty of text messages. You don't even have to be the first to communicate, either. It just feels natural. It doesn't need to be over-thought.

You keep telling yourself not to get your hopes up, but at the same time, you feel like maybe it's turning into something. Something more than friends. You couldn't help but wonder if Pedro felt the same way, or if maybe he's just a really nice guy.

Despite these feelings, you're still hesitant to tell him you love him. Although he put many of your fears to rest, you continued to be nervous. You were inexperienced. You were significantly younger than him. You led two very different lives. And even though he reassured you about your appearances, it doesn't mean you'd be his type once he actually saw you. Shoot, you don't even know if he's interested in pursuing a relationship.

Plus, now there's the risk of messing up a new friendship. Why ruin it?

How does anyone ever get into a relationship? Others make it look so easy, jumping from relationship to relationship like their heart isn't at stake.

Maybe someday you'd tell him. Maybe someday you'd share these other fears as well. But not yet. You weren't ready.

_____

About a week had gone by since you first talked on the phone, and it was around 1 PM when he called you.

"Hey Pedro!"

"Hey there, songbird," he replied cheerily.

"Songbird?" You giggled.

"If you hate it-"

"No, I love it. It's sweet," you blushed.

"Okay good. But the reason I'm calling is because I saw something on Instagram…"

"Oh yeah? What of?"

"About you. When were you going to tell me?"

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh what? What is he referring to?

You nervously laughed "I… what? Tell you what now?"

"Your album is coming out in a WEEK!??!" He practically yelled with excitement.

Seriously… this guy. Giving me a damn heart attack.

"OH" you replied sheepishly. "You scared me, thinking you heard… I dunno"

"Oh! I'm sorry. No. I haven't heard any information that you haven't told me yourself, nor would I believe it anyway. Other than.. this album!!!" Pedro announced like a gameshow host.

You laughed before replying "yes, yes, the album comes out next week! They just announced it I guess."

Pedro clapped and shouted. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy and proud of you!!!!!!!!"

You weren't looking in a mirror, and he couldn't see you either, but you could bet money that your cheeks were a bright shade of pink. "Thank you, Pedro!" You giggled, your face beginning to hurt from the large smile he caused.

"How are you celebrating? Is the studio doing anything for you?"

"Well they mentioned an album release party, but being that nobody really knows me I don't know who I would even invite. Plus I'm not sure that a large thing like that is how I'd like to show myself to the world. A little too ceremonious for my liking." You grimaced.

"Well, I happen to think you deserve something ceremonious, even if you don't think you do. And I think we should celebrate."

"We - you - you do? You mean…?" You stuttered in disbelief.

"You and me," he said matter-of-factly.

"You.. and… What did you have in mind?" 

Frankly you didn't know what to think.

"Well. I was thinking… Maybe we could listen to the album together? We could talk on the phone and listen, and it would be like our own little album release party. You wouldn't have to show yourself or meet people. It would just be like our normal conversations. Except I'd get to hear your new music and talk about it with you. If you want," he said, sounding slightly nervous.

Your heart swelled at the gesture and you agreed happily. The two of you made a plan to "meet" at 7PM and listen together the night of your album release. And he promised he wouldn't listen without you.

_____

It wasn't until after you were off the phone with him that you began to overthink the songs on your album. Not unlike your first single, these were also rather vulnerable at times. Sure, he knew a lot, and he'd listen to the album anyway. Probably. But still. To hear it… together? You were starting to feel like you were in over your head.

Nevertheless, the week continued on like normal. Work, talking to Pedro, hanging with Skipper. You agreed to a few more interviews in article or voice format after the release, and signed a few last minute things.

As the album date approached closer, Pedro texted you one day.

"Okay I'm going to ask you something and I want you to trust me okay. I'm not going to do anything that I know you would hate."

"Okay…" what does this man have up his sleeve?

"Can I have your address?"

Why does he want my address???? The panic settled in. But, you did like him; and he hadn't crossed any boundaries yet. In fact, he's been one of the most understanding of your qualms.

So. You sent him your address.

"Thank you ❤️" Pedro replied.

A heart !?! A red one!? 

"You're welcome. Also… I was planning to tell you anyway, but if you're looking for my address I may as well tell you…" you told him your real name. Not your stage name. Not a nickname. But your name. First, Last. All of it.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll keep it safe," reassured Pedro.

"Thank you, P."

"Of course. You have a beautiful name, by the way."

Your heart did a somersault.

_____

The album release date was finally here and you aren't sure you slept a wink. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement. You loved him and always enjoyed chatting together. This was exciting. But also these songs are so personal. This is a big moment. This was a big plan. And why did he want your address anyway?

~~~~~

Meanwhile at Pedro's place, he was just as nervous. He had started out excited, but then he got into his head. His plans for the evening started feeling too romantic. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He liked you, but he didn't want to push it. Maybe he was showing too many feelings towards you. You love someone else, and him not respecting that is rude. All you want is a friend and he's just going to seem like another one of those creepy guys trying to get into your pants.

But it was too late now, the plans were in motion, and maybe you'd enjoy it. Who knows. Either way, he loved your friendship, and friends could do this kind of thing for each other… right??

~~~~~

Throughout the day, you paced your house before finally leaving with Skipper in tow. "We gotta get some air, buddy. I'm losing it over here," you said while clipping his leash.

Stepping out of the house, you two went for a long walk, circled back toward home, and plopped down on your lawn. The house still felt too small in preparation for this evening, whatever it was. Why does it feel different anyway? It's just another phone call..? Unless….

Truth be told, while Pedro had his secret plans, you also had some of your own. Whether you followed through with them or not was up to your nerves.

After some sunbathing with your pup, you both head inside. The sun was starting to set, and you realized it was getting closer to the meetup time you chose with Pedro.

_____

6 PM.

You stared at the TV, not really absorbing anything on the screen, but needing a distraction. This afternoon you opted for a show that Pedro was not in. For once, you needed to not see his handsome face. You needed something else. Half paying attention while picking at a hangnail, you jump out of your skin at the sight of your phone lighting up. Pedro texted.

"Picking out my outfit for tonight! Always important to look nice for celebration."

Shit… he's not coming over is he?! That's why he wanted my address?!

"Wait…" you pondered how to phrase your question without sounding like a panicked asshole, when all you wanted to say was "what the fuck do you MEAN!?!"

I'm not dressed. I'm in sweats and covered in dog hair. I don't have makeup on. Oh no.

"Wait… is that why you wanted my address?"

"Oh. Nooo, no no. No, sweet girl, don't worry. I'm not coming over unexpectedly and interrupting your hiding place. I just think it's still important to dress nice."

"Oh..Okay.."

It was around 6:15 when he texted a picture of himself wearing a white button up with a dark blue suit and matching tie. He wore dark-frame glasses and his hair was slightly tamed, but still showed his messy curls. He looked gorgeous.

But as you scanned his body you noticed that instead of dress shoes, he wore a pair of polka dot socks. He had a goofy grin and his one eyebrow was cocked. You grinned.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go," he said.

"You're a goof, P. But I appreciate the effort."

A pause.

"Also, you look really handsome" you nervously hit send before you had a chance to chicken out.

Bold. Probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, friends compliment each other.

"Why thank you. A big accomplishment like this requires all the stops."

He timed this message right to the minute. As you read his text, your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find two boxes. One large, one small. A delivery boy was getting into his car. 

"Delivery from your biggest fan. 

-❤️, P"

He… he sent me some kind of care package?? And put a heart? And said he's my biggest fan?

You squealed and carried the boxes into the house. "What's this!?" You texted Pedro.

"Open them and see!"

You immediately open them. Inside the larger box was a variety of items. The first thing you noticed was a small vase holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. To the right of that was a bag, which you opened and found your favorite meal, from your favorite restaurant. 

Wow, this is elaborate. 

Below the food was another small bag holding your favorite dessert, and finally to the left, your favorite drink.

I can't believe he remembered all of my favorite things.. This is so thoughtful.

When you moved the flower vase, you noticed one more small item. Is that a… corsage?? You texted Pedro the question.

"Yep!" He sent, with a photo of a matching flower on his lapel.

Remembering you still had the small box, you opened the box flaps, wondering what could possibly be left for him to give you. On top of it was another note.

"For a handsome boy.

- ❤️, your mom's friend, Pedro"

Under the note was a jar of peanut butter, a squeaky anchor toy, and…? What's this?

You unwrap a small paper wrapping to find a dog-sized black bowtie. Shut up.

"SKIPPER!!! Look what Pedro gave you, buddy!"

He padded over to you and let you hook the dressy accessory around his neck. With the clip adjusted, he sat back, looking proud of his new fashion. You quickly snapped a picture and texted it to Pedro.

"I can't believe you did all this, Pedro. Not only did you send all this, but you remembered my favorite things? You remembered all the details from when I first met Skipper. My favorite food, dessert, drink, and flower? That's so sweet, this is all too much Pedro..  Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I.. I don't even know what to say."

You're amazing and I love you. Is what I want to say.

"You're welcome." He texted back. "Like I said, you deserve a celebration. Plus…"

Pedro sent a photo of his table, set up with the same food and drink, with the caption "now it's like we're having a dinner party."

It was nearing the time to meet, but you still had to do one more thing. You had pondered it earlier in the day, but fully decided it when Pedro sent the photo of himself dressed up. It's now or never.

_____

6:45 PM.

Pedro sat waiting for a reply after he sent his dinner photo. It had only been a couple minutes, but his hands were sweaty and his leg was shaking under the table. Finally, his phone went off. You sent… a video?

He opened it and pressed play. There, he saw you rotating your wrist with the corsage on it. The first time he's ever seen your wrist, hand, or arm before. The first time he's even seen your skin tone.

Geez you act like you're in the Victorian ages, pull yourself together, he rolled his eyes at himself for being so overjoyed.

Next, the video panned to Skipper in his bowtie, looking handsome as ever. The camera zoomed in on him and he looked up into the view with his big brown eyes. 

And then…

The camera panned to the side, and showed a mirror. A full length mirror, where you stood. He scanned your body from your perfectly done up hair and makeup, down your body to your dress. You wore your favorite dress, (in your favorite color, he noted) which showed off your body in the best ways. He looked down to the floor and noticed that you too were wearing fun socks instead of shoes. You wore a pair of striped socks and wrote in your caption "all dressed up and nowhere to go."

His heart picked up and he could feel himself breathing unevenly. He finally saw you. And you were gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile that enveloped his face.

Fuck. She's beautiful… I'm screwed. 

She loves someone else. She loves someone else. She loves someone else. Forget your feelings.

Despite his struggle, he knew he wanted, and needed, to tell you how beautiful he thought you looked. This was a big step to show yourself, and he also knew how self-conscious you felt about your body.

"Wow, you're so beautiful."

You blushed, replying with a quick thank you with a heart, then sending a second message asking if he was ready to listen. The video wasn't the only trick you had planned up your sleeve tonight.

______

The clock turned to 7 PM and Pedro hit the dial for your number. You answered the phone and said a quick "hang on" to set up the shared listening party link for your album. Once sent, you took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. Then, you took the plunge.

"Okay I got the link! I'm so exci - what - wait, is this an accident?" Pedro's hand fumbled as he received your incoming video chat request, his heart picking up to a galloping pace.

"Nope! You can answer it. If you want.."

He quickly swiped the accept button and there you were. Clad in your favorite dress, sitting at a table with the meal he sent in front of you. He could see himself in the corner square, dressed in his suit, with nearly the identical table setup and food.

He couldn't help but notice on his own video screen that his cheeks were turning rosy and his mouth curled into a large smile. But he was too happy to be shy about his blush.

"So this is you," he said.

"This is me," you replied shyly, but still with a huge smile and blush plastered on your face, matching Pedro's.

"You look.." he sighed shakily "..wow.."

"You look pretty wow yourself there," you said with a shy giggle.

Both of you let out gentle laughs, feeling a warm glow as your stomachs felt matching butterflies of nerves, excitement, and… maybe something else.

"So should we listen, I guess?" You asked nervously.

He didn't answer. He was looking at the screen, eyes scanning the video. 

Is he blushing? You wondered. But why would he be? He doesn't like me back… right?

He still hadn't answered you when you finally said "Pedro?? Did you hear me?"

He snapped out of it, somehow turning more crimson. "Oh! Sorry… yeah! Let's listen."

Your nerves were off the charts. Some of these songs were so vulnerable. The ones at the end of the album were the most telling of all.

But as the two of you ate your dinners while listening to your new album, you began to relax. The night was filled with him giving praise and you giving background information on the meanings and production of the songs. 

"Are all the different instruments and harmonies played by you?"

"They are! The studio offered studio musicians but I had originally played them all when I wrote it and wanted to keep it a one woman show."

"You're incredible," Pedro said, shaking his head.

You blushed, for the billionth time today.

When it came to "Imaginary Love" Pedro grinned. "Hey I know this one! The one that started it all." 

"Yep!" You agreed and he began lip syncing to the lyrics dramatically. Little did he know, those lyrics were actually about him. You giggled as he acted out a soulful rendition of the chorus.

"You know, this whole journey has been a real rollercoaster and there have been times I've wished I hadn't posted that song..."

Pedro looked at you with that puppy dog look of his and you continued "but then I remember… that if I never posted it, I would've never started talking to you, and it makes it all worth it."

Pedro placed his hand on his heart and pouted his lip. "I agree. I'm glad to have met you. If I didn't love this song already, that alone would be enough reason for me to consider it one of my favorites.

You grinned and looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. The two of you continued to listen, having long finished your dinner. Conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel like you were on a date. Not that you had much experience with that, but from what you'd seen in movies and shows, this felt very date-like. And you didn't want it to end.

But as the album went on, you approached the last two songs. The ones you were scared of most. The most vulnerable of the album. 

The second to last began to play.

'It's hard to imagine craving something that I've never had.

Dumb to be so desperate for something I've gone without.

But when I'm alone and thinking to myself, I need it so bad.

I crave it like a drug, but one I know nothing about.

Your kiss on my lips, or any kiss at all.

It hasn't happened yet, no matter how hard I fall.

The years keep passing, but still no love.

The years go by, but still no kisses.

I keep wondering and praying up above,

I guess I'm unkissable, despite my wishes.'

Pedro furrowed his brow, looking at you, searching for something. He read the title of the song, "Unkissable," and looked up again, opening and closing his mouth to find the right words.

"Do-" he stopped himself and pondered his wording again. "Is- are all these songs true?"

You stared at the table, picking your nail against the wood. "Yes."

"You really believe that?"

"... I mean… I don't know… maybe… I guess…" you avoided his gaze, but could feel it.

"And you've never-"

"Kissed anyone before? No. I haven't."

"But you've wanted to?"

"Yes," you whispered, starting to feel tears prick at your eyes.

Pedro shifted his lips to the side in thought before finally saying "well… you're still young. It'll happen."

"I'm 26, Pedro. Most people have kissed by the time they've graduated high school. I just… missed the boat I guess. It's okay. I'm just being silly. I don't want it that bad. We can maybe listen to something else now."

"Hey, hey. Don't shut down on me," he asked pleadingly. "26 is still very young, and don't worry about whenever everyone else has done things. Everyone does things at their own pace. I'm sorry you haven't experienced it yet, especially when you want it so badly, but I know that when it does happen, it'll probably be better than any kiss you would've had with some 15 year old boy you would've had in high school."

You laughed, breaking your tears for a minute. "Thanks Pedro."

"Of course. And hey, don't think of yourself as unkissable. Any guy should be so lucky to be with you. Maybe the guy you wrote about in your song will be your first."

"Maybe… I hope so. Thank you."

While your heart bloomed at the kind words and prospect of maybe kissing Pedro in the future, Pedro's heart began to ache. Not only was he sad for you when you wanted love so desperately, but he also couldn't help but feel sad hearing you want to kiss another man. He wants to be that guy for you. He wasn't joking when he said any man would be lucky. But especially knowing now your true age, 22 years younger than him, he knew for sure your crush couldn't be him. You were way too young to be interested in a 48 year old man. He was silly for even entertaining the idea.

But at least he had a new friend. And as he thought longer, he thought about his best friend Sarah, and her relationship. They have a huge age gap, 32 years, but they're happy. And he's happy for her. It doesn't feel weird with them. Could he have that with you? Or is he in over his head?

The last song on the album began to play. This one was less vulnerable, but if he decided to look at the lyrics and notice patterns, he'd see it in the chorus. 

'People have a lot to say

Everyone loves or hates me

Don't know what I did today

Right now you're all I can see

Only want to be with you.

Please, love me too.'

You're sure the obsessive listeners will figure out the acrostic, and if Pedro looks up the lyrics, he might too. But either way, it's out there. All you can do is hope for the best and eventually you're sure it'll come out anyway.

 This wasn't one you were sure about putting on the album, but when the studio read through your personal songbook, they went insane over it. They figured it out quickly, and they promised they'd keep it to themselves. Luckily they have so far, but if money came calling, you think they'd sell your heart faster than you could say no.

The song, and album, came to a close and Pedro looked up at the screen once again, staring into your eyes. "Once again your music has blown me away."

Whether he put together the end or not, he wasn't letting on.

"Thank you Pedro. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. It was truly special and I mean it when I say it's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you said thoughtfully.

"It was no trouble. You deserve congratulations for your album," Pedro replied with a smile.

Right.. it's just a congratulations. Nothing else. You sighed.

"Thank you. I'm really glad we did this. Talk again soon?" You asked.

"Absolutely. It was wonderful to meet you finally," Pedro said, finishing the sentence with your real name and smiling.

"It was great to meet you too, Pedro."

__________

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading.

Looking for more? Next chapter!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97

[raining-anonymously]

i like delores aesthetically and i enjoy her as a character, but on a surface level i do not like her. i think we’re going too easy on her because she’s hot. the woman was a serial killer and a cult leader. tbh betelgeuse did whatever part of italy they lived in a favor. then she double-serial-killed people in the afterlife. she is EVIL and SCARY.

however, she is fascinating, both for the alternate light she casts existing characters in and in her own right.

this post was going to be about her but i got distracted so everything under the read more is about… geography? i think? and also languages, and also theorizing on how long delores was awake after she died.

based on the the guy who fell down the manhole at the beginning, it seems like wherever you die is directly correlated to what part of the afterlife you end up in rather than where you live. he died in the usa, so he ended up in the part we see, which is english-speaking and mostly has usamerican ghosts.

miss argentina, betelgeuse, and delores are not usamerican. sure, miss argentina’s beauty contest could have been in the usa, but betelgeuse and delores explicitly died in italy, and juno, who works in the usa sector of the afterlife, implies that she knows what it’s like to haunt places in italy. clearly, migration within the afterlife is possible.

re: charles and richard—ok i forgot where charles was flying from when he died. but if it was out of the continent, i think charles probably died close enough to the us that he got sent to that part of afterlife anyway. richard has been dead for years and had time to migrate. maybe that’s why he’s working civil service? as an excuse to switch sections? idk…

throughout both movies betelgeuse consistently displays an affinity for mimicking accents and voices, as well as being multilingual (he at least speaks spanish, italian, english). plus he’s been dead a long time. it’s believable that these combined factors led to him speaking english with an american accent rather than an italian accent. it is worth noting that his diction becomes more poetic and flowery when he’s speaking italian.

there’s also the thing where he says “mazel tov” during the flashback, but we don’t see his face while he says it, so that may not have been actually said at that time.

delores does have an italian accent. doylistically, this is because monica bellucci is italian. watsonian-wise, she’s probably just… not as good at vocal mirroring as betelgeuse. plus she hasn’t been awake for a large portion of her time as a ghost. but, and this is important, she has definitely been awake for some of it.

i do believe delores knew english when she was alive—her poison bottle is labeled in english. as for why she’d be speaking english to everyone around her? the first person who addresses her is the janitor, and he speaks english. from there, she correctly assumes that everyone else speaks english and responds accordingly. she also does the “betelgeuse is mine!” graffiti in english. and when she and betelgeuse are finally face-to-face, she speaks to him in english, too. doylistically, this is because the film is written in english and they didn’t want to overuse subtitles, but it is interesting that she wouldn’t address him in their first language.

still, even if we can’t use the language she speaks as a reason, i believe delores was awake before being dumped into a storage box. she adapts very quickly to the modern things in the afterlife (i don’t know how long spray paint and staple guns have been around, but i’m assuming they were invented post-black death). she doesn’t seem surprised or distressed by the fact that she’s dead or in multiple pieces, or by her soul-sucking / possession abilities. (she moves lydia with possession in the church.) she also navigates the afterlife fairly easily.

there’s also just no reason why she WOULDN’T be awake. the deceased can exist in pieces. look at the chopped-in-half woman in the first film.

so this gives us this mysterious block of time post-death where betelgeuse and delores moved to the usa and delores was eventually forced into the unconscious and separated state she’s in when the movie begins. no conclusion here, just food for thought.

anyway that tragedy sequence was so beautiful aauguhhhhhhhahahshjfjfj

[dalilacherie]

hiiiiii idk if ur still taking requests but if u are could u pls write a dally x male reader where the readers a curtis and dally and reader have been together for like a while but then somehow darry catches them together and so now they are dealing with the fallout of all that (i am so so sorry if that made no sense 😭)

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭

[𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞!𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: So uh... I'm alive!! 🥳 I have nothing to say for myself except that I'm lazy💀 anyways enjoy this story.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: idk- more than 1,000

I’m sittin’ on the old couch in the Curtis livin’ room, feet up on the coffee table, cigarette danglin’ between my lips. It’s quiet. The kind of quiet you don’t get too often around here. The boys are all out. Two-Bit, Johnny, and Pony are at the movies, and Darry, Steve, and Soda are at work. That just leaves me and Y/N.

"Don’t ya get bored when it’s this quiet?" Y/N asked, lookin' at me with those eyes of his that I never could resist. He always had a way of seein' right through me, even when I was tryin' to act tough.

I shrugged. "Nah, quiet’s good sometimes. Can think better without all that noise. Don’t you like it?"

He smiled, that small, easy smile he had that could make me feel like maybe not everything in this world was as screwed up as it seemed. "Yeah, I like it. It’s nice just bein' with you."

I didn’t say nothin' to that. I wasn’t good at the mushy stuff, never was. I’d rather just show him what I felt, not say it. So I reached over and ruffled his hair, messin' it up like I knew he hated, just to see him annoyed. He swatted my hand away, but he was grinnin'.

"Quit it, Dal. I just fixed it."

"Too bad," I said, leanin' back into the couch, stretchin' my legs out. "You look better with it all messed up, anyway.”

I glance over at him, sittin’ close by, almost leanin’ into me. He’s been my guy for a while now, not that we make a big show of it or nothin’. He’s just always been there, and I guess I’ve always been here too, though I ain’t one to stick around for much.

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” I ask, flickin’ some ash into the ashtray. It’s one of those moments where I ain’t thinkin’ too much about what’s out there—what kinda trouble I could be gettin’ into. ‘Cause right now, I got what I need right here.

He shrugs a bit, like he does when he ain’t sure what to say. “Nothin’ much. Just… you.”

I smirk at that, pullin’ the cigarette from my mouth and blowin’ the smoke up toward the ceilin’. “Yeah? What ‘bout me?”

He turns his head, lookin’ me dead in the eyes. He’s always had this way of lookin’ at me, like he’s seein’ somethin’ more than just a no-good hood. Maybe he is, I dunno.

“I dunno,” he says, leanin’ back a little. “Just… how you’re always here, even when you say you’re not gonna be.”

“Guess I ain’t as bad as I like to think I am,” I mutter, leanin’ back against the cushions. I’m still gettin’ used to this whole thing, bein’ with someone who actually gives a damn. Most folks don’t. And hell, I’m used to it. Grew up that way, always lookin’ out for myself, ‘cause who else was gonna do it? But Y/N, he’s different. He makes me feel like maybe there’s somethin’ more out there than just fights and booze and dodgin’ the fuzz.

He shifts a bit closer, till his shoulder’s brushin’ against mine. He’s warm, real warm, and it’s kinda nice just sittin’ here with him, not havin’ to say nothin’ or do nothin’ to prove myself.

“Ya know,” I say, my voice a little quieter, “I ain’t used to this. Just sittin’ around, not doin’ nothin’. It’s kinda nice, though.”

He smiles, that soft, easy smile he’s always got, and it makes me feel somethin’ weird, like maybe I’m worth somethin’ more than just a cheap thrill or a quick fight. “Yeah, it is,” he agrees, settlin’ in closer, his head restin’ on my shoulder. “We don’t get much time like this.”

“Nah, we don’t,” I say, takin’ another drag off my cigarette before snuffin’ it out in the ashtray. I’m quiet for a minute, just listenin’ to him breathin���, the way his chest rises and falls against mine.

“I like bein’ with you, Y/N,” I say, the words comin’ out rougher than I meant ‘em to. I ain’t good at sayin’ stuff like this, but he deserves to hear it.

He looks up at me, those eyes of his all soft and understandin’. “I like bein’ with you too, Dal,” he says, reachin’ up to brush a hand through my hair, somethin’ he does when he thinks I’m not payin’ attention. But I always notice, even if I don’t say nothin’. “Payback” as he calls it.

“Yeah?” I say, leanin’ into his touch, feelin’ more relaxed than I have in a long time. “Glad to hear it, ‘cause I don’t plan on goin’ nowhere.”

He chuckles a bit, the sound low and warm, and it makes me feel somethin’ in my chest, somethin’ I don’t feel too often. “I didn’t think you would,” he says, settlin’ against me.

We sit there like that for a while, just enjoyin’ the quiet, enjoyin’ each other. And for once, I ain’t thinkin’ about what’s comin’ next, or what kinda trouble’s waitin’ for me out there. All I care about is right here, right now, with Y/N.

After a while, I reach over and grab the remote, flickin’ on the TV. There ain’t nothin’ good on, but I don’t care. It’s just background noise, somethin’ to fill the space while we sit here together. He shifts a bit, gettin’ more comfortable, and I pull him in closer, holdin’ him tight against me.

“Dal?” he mumbles after a while, his voice real soft, almost like he’s afraid to say what’s on his mind.

“Hm?” I reply, lookin’ down at him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, his eyes meetin’ mine. “I know you got other places you could be, but… I’m glad you’re here with me.”

"You think they’ll be back soon?" Y/N asked.

I shrugged again, not really carin'. "Probably not for a while. They’re prob'ly goofin' off somewhere."

He nodded, lookin' thoughtful. Then he looked to me, somethin' serious in his eyes. "You know, Dal, you don’t always have to act so tough."

I stiffened. "What’re you talkin' about? I ain’t actin'. I am tough."

He gave me that look again, the one that said he wasn’t buyin' my bull. "I know you are. But you don’t have to be all the time, not with me."

I didn’t know what to say to that. He was right, and I hated that he was right, but I didn’t know how to be any other way. The streets didn’t teach you how to be soft, didn’t teach you how to let your guard down. But here I was, doin' just that with him, and it might've scared me more than any fight ever did.

Instead of sayin' anything, I just pulled him closer, wrappin' my arm around his shoulders. He rested his head on my chest, and I could feel his breath against my neck. It was real nice, feelin' like we didn’t have to say nothin' to understand each other. We just fit, like two pieces of a puzzle that made sense when they were together.

"Dally?" he murmured after a while.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice a little rougher than I meant it to be.

"You ever think about what it’d be like if we didn’t have to hide this? If everyone knew and didn’t care?"

I tensed up at that, the thought of it makin' me uneasy. "Don’t see much point in thinkin' 'bout it. Ain’t never gonna happen, Y/N. People don’t get us, don’t get me. They wouldn’t understand."

He was quiet for a bit, then he sighed. "I know. I just wish…"

I tightened my grip on him, hating how small his voice sounded. "Don’t worry 'bout it, alright? We’re good, just like this. Don’t need anyone else to get it long as we do."

He nodded against my chest, and I could feel him relaxin' again. We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us sayin' much, just enjoyin' bein' together without havin' to worry 'bout what anyone else thought.

I was startin’ to think we might actually get a whole night to ourselves. That was somethin’ that didn’t happen often, so I was gonna soak it up while I could. Y/N was leanin’ against me, his head on my chest, his breathin’ nice and steady. I had my arm wrapped around him, holdin’ him close, and I felt like maybe, just maybe, things were alright.

Then, the door creaked open.

I heard it before I saw him. The heavy footsteps, the way the air seemed to shift when he was around. I didn’t even have to look up to know who it was.

Darry Curtis.

He walked in like he owned the place, which I guess he did in a way, since it was his house and all. But right now, I wasn’t in the mood for him.

I glanced up, seein’ that look on his face. That one that said he wasn’t too pleased with what he was seein’. His brows were drawn together, his mouth set in a hard line, and his eyes? They were locked right on me.

“What the hell’s goin’ on here?” Darry asked, his voice low and controlled, but I could hear the edge to it. The kind that meant he was tryin’ real hard not to blow up.

“Nothin’,” I said, keepin’ my voice as casual as I could. I wasn’t gonna let him know he was gettin’ to me. “Just hangin’ out.”

“Doesn’t look like nothin’ to me,” he said, his eyes shiftin’ to Y/N, who was still leanin’ against me. I could feel Y/N tense up, probably knowin’ this was about to get ugly.

Darry crossed his arms over his chest, starin’ us down. “Y/N, mind explainin’ why you’re all over him like that?”

Y/N sat up a little, his face goin’ red. “We were just—”

“I know what you were doin’,” Darry cut him off, his voice sharper now. “And I don’t like it.”

I could feel my temper startin’ to rise. I wasn’t about to let Darry talk to him like that, not when he wasn’t doin’ nothin’ wrong. “Back off, Darry,” I said, my voice low. “Ain’t your business.”

Darry’s eyes snapped to mine, and for a second, I thought he might actually take a swing at me. He looked like he wanted to, at least. “It is my business,” he shot back, takin’ a step closer. “Y/N’s my kid brother. I ain’t lettin’ you screw him up like you screw up everything else.”

That stung more than I wanted to admit. I knew what folks thought of me. Hell, I didn’t care most of the time. But hearin’ it from Darry, with Y/N right there? That was a different story.

Y/N jumped to my defense before I could even say anythin’. “Darry, stop! You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“The hell I don’t!” Darry snapped, his eyes still locked on me. “I know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. Dallas Winston ain’t no good, Y/N. He’s a player, and he don’t give a damn ‘bout nothin’ but himself.”

“That ain’t true,” Y/N said, his voice firm, standin’ his ground. “Dally cares about me.”

Darry looked at him like he couldn’t believe what he was hearin’. “He might say he does now, but what happens when he gets bored? When he moves on to the next thing that catches his eye? You’re gonna be the one left pickin’ up the pieces.”

That was it. I couldn’t just sit there and let Darry tear me down like that, not in front of Y/N. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” I said, my voice steady, but there was a hard edge to it now. “I’m with him ‘cause I wanna be. Ain’t nobody gonna change that.”

Darry didn’t look convinced. “Yeah? We’ll see how long that lasts.”

Before I could say anythin’ else, Darry walked right over and plopped himself down between us on the couch, forcin’ me to scoot over. I could feel the heat risin’ in my face, my hands clenchin’ into fists. He knew what he was doin’. He was tryin’ to push me out, make it clear that Y/N was off-limits.

Y/N looked like he didn’t know what to do, caught in the middle of all this. He glanced over at me, his eyes filled with worry, but I gave him a small nod, tryin’ to let him know it was alright. But it wasn’t alright. Not by a long shot.

I didn’t like not bein’ able to touch him, not after we’d just been sittin’ so close, all comfortable and quiet. And now Darry was actin’ like he had to play the damn protector, like Y/N was some kid who couldn’t make his own choices.

“So, what’re we watchin’?” Darry asked, like nothin’ had just gone down. He reached for the remote, flickin’ through the channels.

Y/N was quiet, too quiet, and I could see how much this was botherin’ him. But what was I supposed to do? Darry wasn’t gonna listen to me, no matter what I said. And I didn’t wanna make things worse for Y/N, not when he was already caught in the middle of this mess.

But I wasn’t about to back down, either. I wasn’t gonna let Darry think he could just walk all over me, or over what Y/N and I had. So, I leaned back, crossin’ my arms over my chest, and glared at the TV. I wasn’t gonna give Darry the satisfaction of seein’ me lose my cool. But I wasn’t happy, and I knew Y/N could feel it too.

For a while, we just sat there in awkward silence, the TV flashin’ random shows that none of us were really watchin’. Every now and then, Darry would glance over at me, like he was checkin’ to see if I was gonna do somethin’. But I just sat there, my jaw clenched, tryin’ to keep it together.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up, shovin’ my hands in my pockets, and looked down at Darry. “I’m gonna head out,” I said, my voice tight. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back.”

Darry just looked at me, not sayin’ anythin’. But there was a challenge in his eyes, like he was waitin’ to see what I’d do next. But I wasn’t gonna give him the satisfaction of seein’ me snap. I wasn’t gonna let him win.

I glanced over at Y/N, who looked up at me with those eyes that always seemed to know what I was thinkin’. I gave him a small nod, lettin’ him know it was alright, even if it didn’t feel that way.

[seraphtrevs]

Hi!

Idk if anyone asked this before, but I really wanna know you opinion on Lalo's tattoo? I thought why they kept it? Is it just because it looks cool or Is it because it fits Lalo? Or no reason behind it all?

I think meaning fits Lalo quite well, but dying to know what do you think!

So this has been sitting in my inbox for months - sorry! 😅 I decided this ask was a great excuse to finally read the Tao Te Ching, which I'd been meaning to do for a long time, so I did that, and then I realized that it will probably take a lifetime to understand it, and maybe it should be less than a lifetime before I answered this ask.

Anyway. I think the real reason they didn't conceal the tattoo was because that would take time and effort better spent elsewhere. It's complete in character for a cartel operative to have a tattoo, so why bother to cover it up?

But that's a boring answer, and I think we can have more fun with it. Because I think you can make a case for this being Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's. Come, take my hand, and let us indulge in some headcanons~

So let's take a look at it: (I found this on pinterest here, but no artist was credited. If anyone knows who it is, lmk!) ETA - art is by Artmetica - ty @reztruck!

The most prominent aspect is the yin-yang symbol. When he holds his arm palm up, it's staring him straight in the face. That makes it easy for him to look at, maybe as a reminder. So why would Lalo, violent cartel don, get a tattoo of a yin-yang?

My headcanon is that Lalo is a reader. He canonically only gets a couple hours of sleep a night (like - this is literally impossible, but he's kind of an impossible person. maybe it's really a couple more, but let's just say that he gets by on much less sleep than the average joe.) So what's he doing with all that time? There's only so much slithering around you can do in the dead of night. We know he likes to use his quiet time to think, and what better way to come up with stuff to think about than to read?

He's a curious and intelligent person - I'm sure he likes to read on a wide variety of subjects. Maybe when he was a young man, he had some questions about the meaning of it all and went looking for it in books. And maybe he came across a copy of the Tao Te Ching and took it to heart. (Well, not all of it - he is, after all, a violent drug dealer who kills without remorse lol)

I've always attributed Lalo's lack of fear to his psychopathy, which it is for the most part. But psychopathy doesn't entirely explain him, does it? Psychopaths aren't known for their emotional stability, but Lalo rarely loses his cool and seems in a good mood most of the time. It's not that he doesn't ever lose his temper, but he's able to calm down quickly. He's such a go-with-the-flow guy that he even laughed off his own death.

Wu wei is an important concept in Taoism. It's active non-action, or effortless action - instead of forcing your will on the universe, be in tune with it. Go with the flow. And that's pretty much how Lalo operates. Unlike Gus, who has many meticulous plots and never leaves anything up to chance, Lalo jumps in head first and figures things out as he goes. This makes him a good detective - he goes where his leads take him (all the way to Germany sometimes). It also means he's able to adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

For example, when he's spying on the chicken farm in 4x10, he springs into action when he realizes something's up and is almost able to catch Werner. When his house comes under fire in the middle of the night in 5x10, he immediately switches gears and is able to beat a team of assassins single-handedly by going with the flow, effortlessly taking every opportunity as it arises (using the frying pan of hot oil to blind an attacker, using Ciro's body as a shield, doubling back on his attackers to take them by surprise, etc.) When he learns that Gus bugged the phone at the nursing home, he loses his shit for a minute, pulls himself together, and then spots a cockroach, thinks of Jimmy, and he's off on a completely new path, wasting no time second-guessing himself. There's no reason to get too worked up when things don't go your way, because a new way is bound to open itself up to you if you pay attention.

(That's not to say he never plans - for example, he set up his body double in case he ever needed to fake his death. But I think that was probably also a product of wu wei - by random chance he meets a guy who looks a lot like him, and so he thinks "hey this could be useful later.")

So yeah, I definitely think this could be Lalo's tattoo, not just Tony's! It actually explains a lot about his approach to life.

[fictionalsownme]

Do you have any tips that you're willing to share when it comes to writing Wilford? Like, tips to keep writing him as in character as possible?

Hi! I’d love to share some tips!! 🥰 Wil is pretty hard to write for to be honest ^^" It can be easy to fall out of the rhythm of his character since he's just so strange of a guy haha but I guess that's what makes him fun too! each of the points ended up pretty long so hopefully I didn't get too ramble-y!

anyway! hopefully some of these pointers help out! 💞

some disclaimers really quick: all of these are my own interpretation but by no means does anyone have to follow these or do I think I'm right or anything like that! also, this is for wmlw!wilford since I pretty much only write for him so far :) let's get into it!

Wil has two modes depending on how grounded he is. The first is a go-with-the-flow airhead who has no idea what's going on and is completely unbothered by this. Everything just washes right over him, and he seems to think everyone else is like this too. He speaks in non-sensical idioms half the time, each sentence only barely connecting to the last. His accent is pretty over the top in this headspace too! The second is when he's a bit more grounded, probably leaning more Colonel than Wilford. In my writing, he gets like this when he's reminded of his past (similar to wmlw), forced to be present in the current moment, or emotional in some way, etc. His accent is less subtle and more typically british, and he speaks in longer, more logical sentences.

Stress the right words in his dialogue. This one might just be a quirk of my writing style because I love to overuse italics as you can probably tell haha but Wil emphasizes really random words when he speaks, so even just sprinkling it in every once in awhile I feel like adds a lot!

Don't forget his body language. In a similar vein to the previous point, Mark's performance of Wilford is reallyyy physical, and dependent on his mannerisms. How he moves his hands is a big one, they hang in the air or land in interesting spots. Same for his expressions, how he tilts his head, how he sits and walks around, etc. Don't forget to keep him moving often unless he's still for a specific reason (scared, thinking, etc).

Have Wilford 'MOTHERLOVING' Warfstache on standby. I play wmlw pretty much on a loop & on silent in the background while I write him if I feel like I'm struggling to get him right. The way Mark acts him is so specific with his voice and his mannerisms and everything so having the video to refer back to is super helpful even just to get the vibe down. Sometimes I'll watch the whole thing start to finish before I start my writing session, though,, maybe I'm procrastinating hehe

Try to balance his humor, sweetness, and attractiveness. This one is a little weird, and probably depends on your preferences and what kind of fic you're writing, but for me, these are the main aspects of Wil's personality I like to focus on. Like, let's not forget, he's totally ridiculous. But he also seems very sensitive, and you know... he's hot. He's a goofball! I found myself forgetting the funnier side of his personality while I was working on my fic so I figured I'd throw it in :)

He's not as violent as he used to be. so it's clear that Wil doesn't have the temper that he did as the Colonel, but I like to take it a step further and say that once we reach WMLW, he doesn't struggle as much with violence. This is a bit more headcanon territory but Wil's violence post-WKM was based in a (mis?)understanding that death isn't real in this world. I think that plus his desensitization to violence eventually brought him full circle all the way back around to just being kind of passive. He's not scared of violence or guns at all (ie kissing Abe's gun) but he doesn't really bother with them himself either. I just like him as kind of a harmless clueless puppy idk 👉👈 hehe

I hope these helped, and lmk if you have any more questions! I like rambling about my boy(s) kikiki 💞 thanks for the ask!

[yunmeng-jiang]

ok it's time for my Official Jiang Cheng Ship Opinions Post. buckle in this is gonna take a bit

Xicheng: I like it in 1 extremely specific circumstance (bonding over very similar experiences post-canon) but I've only seen that done well like. twice. NEEDS to have good characterization (also rare unfortunately) and take into account what they can and can't do as their own sect leaders with regards to courtship/marriage.

Chengqing: perfect in every way. that's it that's all I need to say.

Sangcheng: ehhhhh? Cute in Cloud Recesses summer camp era, not feasible post-canon due to irreconcilable differences in worldview and how much danger it's acceptable to put Jin Ling in.

Zhancheng: honestly I prefer this to be platonic. Hatefucking is not my jam and LWJ is Wei-Ying-sexual in canon anyway. Give Jiang Cheng a friend who is as weirdly obsessed with Wei Wuxian as he is but in a slightly different way. I want to see them coming to terms with that.

Ningcheng: again, someone just as weirdly obsessed with Wei Wuxian, but a little to the left. I don't think either one of them is ever going to look at the other and not see "the guy WWX likes better than me." Maybe someday they'll form a relationship that isn't based entirely around Wei Wuxian, but it seems kind of unlikely.

Chengyao: I'm actually coming around to this a bit recently? Again, it really needs to keep good characterization at the forefront and consider their positions as individual sect leaders, and remember that their "divorced couple energy" is part of the Guanyin Temple shitshow and not the way they would usually behave, especially for Jin Ling's sake. I want to see more fics where Meng Yao grows up with the Jiang sect so that Jiang Cheng is attached to him from the very beginning.

Mingcheng: meh. I don't really think about this ship that much because it honestly doesn't compel me at all. sorry to the mingcheng enjoyers it there I simply do not get it

Chengxuan: same as above, I don't really get this one. Their dynamic is just not that interesting to me.

Chengyi: that is a child. hard no on this one.

Miancheng: kinda cute? I like it when Jiang Cheng recruits her into the Jiang after she gives up on the Jin, it's a fun idea, but I think I like them better as friends.

Ruocheng: no. just no.

Zhucheng (chengliu? Wen Zhuliu and JC): also no.

Chengsu: I could get behind the idea of JGY desperately contacting Jiang Cheng and being like "help I just found out my fiancee is my sister can you please pretend you've been in love with her all this time and get married to her instead??? I'll negotiate to get you more Jin Ling rights if you do." she fits JC's list of desirable qualities in a wife. unfortunately she gets like 6 seconds of screen time and then dies so we really don't know very much about her, which makes it a bit hard to form a strong opinion on the ship

Other Chengsu? Sucheng/Mincheng/Chengshan/whatever this is: I actually think it's interesting that Su She and Jiang Cheng share the trait of "treat them nicely within this narrow window of time in their life in order to get them to become loyal to you forever, otherwise fuck you." It's possible that if Su She had grown up with the Jiang the two of them would have found some common ground and maybe become friends. I'm more interested in non-romantic interactions here

Cheng...yang? what do you call the Xue Yang/Jiang Cheng ship? Xuecheng? idk. again, not really my jam.

Chengjiao. Lingcheng? Jiang Cheng/Wang Lingjiao. Do people even ship this? I could see it as character development for her I guess. At this point I'm just fishing for possible pairings.

and finally, saved for last...

Xiancheng: this isn't romantic or sexual or platonic, it's all three and also a secret fourth thing that's more intense than all of them put together. As a ship, I don't prefer it, because it's too easy to flatten it out into either a boring cutesy fluffy cliche or a boring jealous/possessive boyfriend type thing. I need to see them being weird about each other in a way that no one can possibly identify, especially themselves. They'll die for each other. They'll live for each other. They'll destroy themselves and be happy about it as long as they believe that the other is going to be okay. You really can't make it as simple as "yeah these two want to fuck."