#anyway idk if thats really the answer you wanted but i hope its satisfactory

[agalnamedlunasea]

Tokomaru wedding, please. I need the wholesomeness.

Hi anon! I apologize this ask has taken me. Uh. Weeks to answer. But I have been rotating it in my mind the whole time.

I don't necessarily know that they would get married honestly? I think after they had been dating for a long while the topic would come up, but I don't know that they would feel like they need to? They love eachother, and they'd been committed to eachother even before they dated, so holding a ceremony would feel unnecessary to them. Additionally I doubt they'd really have that many people to invite? Like. The thh survivors, maybe the woh if they'd cultivated a good relationship eventually, and hiroko i suppose? But that's about it. Considering Toko’s attitude toward people in general, that kinda feels like a generous guest list. Also the world would still be in recovery mode post- tragedy, so supplies to even have a wedding would be slim, and idk that they'd want to enough to try despite that. Idk I'm just not sure it would necessarily happen.

If it *did* though, I think they'd have something like a courthouse wedding. It'd be spontaneous and incredibly simple. Im almost imagining something like Ron's wedding from Parks and Rec? Like maybe they find out that theres an office at future foundation or whatever thats officiating weddings again, and Komaru asks Toko to marry her right then and there. They'd be super sweet and mushy about it (" I've already decided I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I don't want to wait another minute to make it official" etc) , and they run down to the office hand in hand, they barely manage to tell makoto and get him there to see the whole thing (he's a lil antsy about it not being like a normal wedding but he still cries). They're officially married very quickly, with no one around but makoto and the officiant, but they like that more than a normal ceremony. It feels like it's just for them. They get rings later, and they get congratulations from their friends, and everything is very lowkey.

...

However i can't resist wanting to draw them in normal wedding clothes so I also have this

I just think they're cute

[midnighteloquence]

i just wanna talk

uh minor (MINORS!!!!!!!!) vent because im thinking

(mention of sui, sh, purg1ng, etc)

i actually dont know what to feel anymore. i dont really feel much these days except for pure, unbridled sadness. i can feel excited over my interests, but that excitement doesnt really last long till im just nothing again.

ive been getting more frequent stomach aches. not a stomach bug i mean the anxiety stomach aches. theyre here right now actually. ive just been super anxious and on edge recently, and i dont know how to stop the ever growing pit in my stomach. it grows every time i enter a room, when i have to present something infront of my classmates, when someone talks to me, when i text people, when im alone, when im with people. its everywhere and i dont like it.

earlier this term i avoided people because i was just so tired and empty. i hoped that it would somehow make me feel better, if i avoid the person who did me wrong. it really didnt. i didnt give them a satisfactory answer whenever they playfully insulted me because i could not bare to have them insult me one more fucking time. you know what happened? they started saying “ok.” to me saying literally fucking anything. i said “ok” to you dryly because you pissed me off, but if im talking about my interests casually thats nothing to be pissed off about.

i apologised to them for distancing myself (even though i was trying to fix my mental health) and told them i would talk to them more even though i dont like them anymore. the next day they sent a paragraph talking about how i wasnt really “proving myself” and that “they waited for me to talk to them instead of them starting the rare conversations we have” which actually killed me a bit. thats over exaggerating but im trying my fucking hardest to try and be your friend but my best isnt worthy enough. and also when have you ever put any effort into what im saying? like actually if i talk about my interests you say shit like “thats crazy” in a disinterested tone. i may be autistic but i can still pick up that you do not fucking care for a word i say. i actually pay attention, and you tell me im not proving myself to you? im sorry i started ranting haha

i think my crush started hating me. and this is a super common thing with all of my crushes for some reason. i just cant get them to not think im annoying. i just get so attached to them and the thought of being with them that they just stop liking me. and then i pick up on this and ask them constantly if they like me. he barely texts me anymore, his texts are super dry, its so obvious he doesnt want to talk to me. i started leaving him on read, just hoping he’ll start liking me again. thats probably super immature and slightly mentally unstable of me but idk im sorry

i stopped thinking about my future because i dont think i see one. i spent all week tired, crying in the school bathrooms, crying in my own bathroom, or crying in my room. i post constantly about killing myself or cvtting myself or purging because at this point i do not care what happens to me. my friend might be moving, my other friend im so fucking tired of, my other other friend is probably tired of me, the rest of the friendgroup probably wouldnt care less about me, i havent been the daughter i couldve been to my parents, im distant towards my brother, my crush lives far away anyways and probably doesnt like me anymore. it just seems like nothings really worth it. how likely is it that i get into a good university and get a good job? i dont even know what i want to do with my life past 18. the clubs i joined are just exhausting to go to now, im making no progress in my language learning, i get average scores in my tests, the only two hobbies i have i barely do anymore. its just so nothing

i have no dreams or aspirations, i have no hope for the future of not only me, this whole world. it will take me a hot 48 hours to think of a thing i wanna pursue. no one wants to be in a relationship with me. im pretty but not pretty enough for people to like me, and even if someone’s attracted to me, theres still my personality. its nothing special, plus just a bunch of red flags like jealousy, attachment, being distant, being sensitive, the list can go on. im just nothing really, i feel nothing, my personality is nothing, my looks are nothing, im nothing.

idk what else to say so bye :0) (clown)